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Dragon Harem Quest - Or: Saying You Were Gay Wasn't The Conversation-Ender You Hoped For

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Finding love is never easy. Finding love is especially tricky when you never leave your lair and...
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Chapter One - Confirmed Bachelor For A Century And Now It's A Problem
  • Threadmarks
    • ZerbanDaGreat

    ZerbanDaGreat

    Daemon Noble of D E M O G R A P H I C S
    Pronouns
    They/them
    Finding love is never easy. Finding love is especially tricky when you never leave your lair and are in fact quite happy to spend most of your days lounging on your hoard, occasionally rolling over to scratch at a particularly troublesome itch with the tip of an enchanted sword. Finding love, quite frankly, sounds like a lot of work for a very unappealing payoff. Whenever your mother or your various aunts sent you message after message updating you on the love-lives of your two-dozen siblings and a few dozen more cousins you studiously ignored them, gave the trembling tiny heralds a good scare every so often so they'd know you weren't to be disturbed outside of dire circumstances - you know, about the usual regarding messages from your family. But now dire circumstances have indeed come.

    After a straight year of bombarding you with updates about the various eligible bachelorettes within flying distance complete with increasingly urgent nudges to at least go talk to them you're sure to hit it off with them immediately or you could always kidnap a princess my little scaly darling then you can have your pick of the lot and on and on and on finally you put your foot down. You told your mother and her endless cavalcade of sisters that you have absolutely no interest in the feminine sex so she's never getting grandchildren out of you.

    Her most recent herald just told you she's flying over this weekend to help you choose a male mate.

    You want to die but, sadly, you made sure to throw out all the dragonslaying weapons in your hoard a few decades ago.

    Long story short, you're in an utterly foul mood. It's got you all antsy, tail lashing this way and that, talons angrily kneading the floor of your lair so hard you've gouged great big man-sized trenches in it already, you'll be burrowing in a minute if you keep this up. You've got to do something to break this funk, something you actually enjoy, at least to clear your head in preparation for dealing with mother come Saturday (or, knowing her, anywhere between Friday night and Sunday morning because she will arrive exactly when it fucking pleases her and no other time).

    You take one last look around your lair, which is;

    [ ] A cave hidden deep within a horrible fetid swamp, thickly blanketed with mist, concealing all manner of sucking pits and hiding beasties. The stench of swampgas is more comforting than the finest perfume.
    [ ] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.
    [ ] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat.
    [ ] A mighty volcano, active and oozing lava at all hours of the day. Flesh-searingly hot lava baths do absolute wonders for your scales and the unusually large amount of obsidian just lying around really spruces the place up. In your off-time you've been slowly sculpting the mountainside to look like a moaning skull that weeps lava.
    [ ] A mountain at the roof of the world, so cold that it snows even in summer, your lair sculpted from glacial ice that catches the light just so. Perfect for keeping all the prey you've caught but don't really feel like eating yet chilled to perfection, and you derive a certain simplistic joy from fucking around with a day's fresh powder snow.

    and ponder what it is you'll do with what is conceivably the last free time you'll have in... ugh quite a while. No no, don't think about that. That's a problem for future-you. You are a dragon and you live in the now, and right now you want to;

    [ ] Hunt something big and filling. The thrill of the chase, the triumph of a good catch, the pleasant full feeling of a good meal. Plus the schadenfreude of potentially stealing some poor mortal sap's quarry.
    [ ] Terrorise the local settlement into a nice meaty tithe. It's funny watching all the tiny little people run around screaming and falling over themselves and bumping into things and each other scrambling to appease you. Maybe demolish a few things so they know you mean business.
    [ ] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.
    [ ] Just go fly around for a bit. Stretch your wings, catch some sun, see what there is to see within flying distance of your lair. Maybe something new's sprung up or been unearthed in the past couple years that's worth your attention.
    [ ] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
    Note: This thread contains infrequent scenes of non-explicit sexual content. All relevant passages will be spoiler-tagged for ease of browsing, and threadmarks containing them marked with an '[M]'.
    Adhoc vote count started by ZerbanDaGreat on Apr 28, 2018 at 4:34 PM, finished with 64 posts and 49 votes.
    • [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
      [X] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.
      [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.
      [X] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat.
      [X] A mountain at the roof of the world, so cold that it snows even in summer, your lair sculpted fromglacial ice that catches the light just so. Perfect for keeping all the prey you've caught but don't reallyfeel like eating yet chilled to perfection, and you derive a certain simplistic joy from fucking aroundwith a day's fresh powder snow.
      [X] A mighty volcano, active and oozing lava at all hours of the day. Flesh-searingly hot lava baths do absolute wonders for your scales and the unusually large amount of obsidian just lying around really spruces the place up. In your off-time you've been slowly sculpting the mountainside to look like a moaning skull that weeps lava.
      [X] Hunt something big and filling. The thrill of the chase, the triumph of a good catch, the pleasant full feeling of a good meal. Plus the schadenfreude of potentially stealing some poor mortal sap's quarry.
      [X] Just go fly around for a bit. Stretch your wings, catch some sun, see what there is to see within flying distance of your lair. Maybe something new's sprung up or been unearthed in the past couple years that's worth your attention.
      [X] A cave hidden deep within a horrible fetid swamp, thickly blanketed with mist, concealing all manner of sucking pits and hiding beasties. The stench of swamp gas is more comforting than the finest perfume.
      [X] Terrorise the local settlement into a nice meaty tithe. It's funny watching all the tiny little people run around screaming and falling over themselves and bumping into things and each other scrambling to appease you. Maybe demolish a few things so they know you mean business.
      [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
      [x] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat. ​
    Click to expand...
    Adhoc vote count started by ZerbanDaGreat on Apr 28, 2018 at 9:49 PM, finished with 70 posts and 53 votes.
    Click to expand...
    Adhoc vote count started by ZerbanDaGreat on May 4, 2018 at 4:37 PM, finished with 544 posts and 35 votes.
    • [X] Show him the vast treasure trove of wine your wish gave you and get extremely drunk in miserable solidarity with each other. What could possibly go wrong?
      [X] Show him the neighbourhood. He probably wants to get a proper feel for the local landmarks so he's not just stuck in and around your spire-region, and there's plenty of stuff to see within flying distance. Maybe you can even check out one of the places from the map on the sly. That'd really impress him.
      --[X] The mountains. Air should be a lot clearer there, and if he's anywhere near as fascinated by magical bits and baubles as you then there should be plenty to amuse yourselves with in that old wizard's tower. Given how long and thin and flexible he is, he might even be able to fit comfortably as a temporary lair.
      [X] Show him Söfnun. It's dangerous sure, but if you get in early enough Mother won't have had enough time to institute martial law or whatever it is she intends to amuse herself with for six months. Beyond tormenting you.
      --[X] Take him to the market and buy him things on credit you're not sure you can afford any more. You think that's how courtship works for dragons and mortals alike.
      [X] Show him the neighbourhood. He probably wants to get a proper feel for the local landmarks so he's not just stuck in and around your spire-region, and there's plenty of stuff to see within flying distance. Maybe you can even check out one of the places from the map on the sly. That'd really impress him.
      --[X] The forest. You don't really know how scale colour corresponds to natural habitat for his type of dragon but if it's anything like red dragons from around here it'd at least be slightly more comfortable. And there's that old abandoned estate he could squat in.
      [X] Show him Söfnun. It's dangerous sure, but if you get in early enough Mother won't have had enough time to institute martial law or whatever it is she intends to amuse herself with for six months. Beyond tormenting you.
      --[X] Try finding somewhere 'classy' to take him. Something that makes you look deep and cultured and sophisticated, like an art sort of thing.
    Click to expand...
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Eldingar's Boyfriend Bestiary
  • Threadmarks
    • Eldingar's Boyfriend Bestiary


    ((art courtesy of @Camellia))

    Name: Makram
    Species: Djinn (Ifrit)
    Likes: Gold (so that's something in common) and teasing me (>:[). Being the most important person in the room somehow.
    Dislikes: Clothing, apparently. And wizards (good on him). Not being the centre of attention.
    Notes: Burst out of a lamp I might've gotten on sale a couple decades ago. Horrible monstrous bastard that made me blow up my treasure pile with my breath, but he granted my first wish so I suppose I can stomach keeping him around until I work out what I want for the other two.

    (( art by @Camellia ))

    Name: Jun-ho, The Dancing Flame That Scorches The Sun
    Species: Eastern Dragon
    Likes: Swimming/the water, Abzu's familiar blob
    Dislikes: Gold (the absolute madman), fish
    Notes: Mother's trying to set me up with him because he's exotic and he'll look impressive if I show up to Nana Illvithri's 1,000th with him. At least he looks about as miserable about this as I am.

    Wait that's not a good thing.

    In any case he seems kind of evasive about his past and what things are like in his homeland. Curious about how things work here though. Knock on wood things actually went pretty okay when we talked over drinks.

    (Extremely long)

    (( art by Voidshards ))

    Name: Belial
    Species: Demon (Incubus)
    Likes: Push-ups and bicep curls apparently. And fucking. And romance, surprisingly enough.
    Dislikes: His contract terms forcing him to stay here apparently. A likely story.
    Notes: For an incubus of his... 'experience' he seems pretty bad at it. Just my luck - an incubus finally shows up and it's a rubbish one about thirty years too late while I'm hung over. And he's sleeping in my dreams rent-free!

    Okay so... maybe he's actually quite good at his job. And sweet. And dreamy. And a bit romantic. Dammit.

    Okay so maybe he's also very mature and supportive and comforting and dammit he's a complete sweetheart and now I cringe every time I reread my initial reaction. I'm sure if someone wanted to be insufferable they'd tell me this is a lesson in not judging books by their covers but my rebuttal would be that I'm a dragon and what you see is very much what you get with dragons.

    (( art by @Camellia ))

    Name: Issachar
    Species: Human (probably)
    Likes: Manners, being mysterious, religious discussion, learning new things about the world
    Dislikes: Being all 'impolite' (square)
    Notes: Some weirdo lightning farmer who says he got a vision and that I've got a 'destiny'. I don't know how much I believe but I do believe he wants to manipulate me, which means I can manipulate him right back.

    Says he's from the Sultanate and was at least apprenticed to some kind of nondenominational priest-scholar whose teachings he still carries on.

    (( art by @Camellia ))

    Name: Abzu
    Species: uhhh...
    Likes: Wizard things like research and riddles
    Dislikes: Being told their wizard riddles suck and are dumb
    Notes: Mute, communicates solely through sign language. Apparently amnesiac and waiting in the vain hope that their missing master isn't actually dead. Possibly more mysterious even than Issachar. Very friendly and enthusiastic.

    (( art by @Camellia ))

    Name: Lyrros
    Species: Ellllllllf?
    Likes: Drama and making a good first impression, showing off in general
    Dislikes: Shirts

    Notes: Hubba-hubba.

    (( art by @Camellia ))

    Name: Datu
    Species: Aquean
    Likes: Adventuring, showing off, throwing his spear around, tattoos clearly
    Dislikes: His sister, shirts

    Notes: It's not l needed him to save me, s-stupid...
    Name: Takara (if that's their real name)
    Species: Some kind of shapeshifter but the fox-like form seems like the real one?
    Likes: Stealing, lying, manipulating, causing mischief and chaos
    Dislikes: Being honest about basically anything

    Notes: Things could have gone so much simpler...


    Consider, If You Will, The Quality Of His Wiggles by @Camellia


    Incubus Beta Design by @Camellia


    Incubus Final Design by @Camellia


    Makram's Mad You Took So Long To Pick Him You Learned His Name From Jun-ho, by @Camellia


    The Wrong Kind Of Hotdog, by @Camellia


    He's Not Fat He's Trying His Best, by @Camellia




    A Bunny Goes Mad With Power, by @Camellia


    Baseless Fan Speculation Because Issachar Is A Normal Meat Person, by @Camellia


    >tfw people are paying more attention to the gooperson than you, by @Camellia

    The Ace Of Hearts, by @Camellia


    In Stores Now! by @TheOneMoiderah


    Totally Not A Vampire Beta, by @Camellia
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • [X] A mountain at the roof of the world, so cold that it snows even in summer, your lair sculpted fromglacial ice that catches the light just so. Perfect for keeping all the prey you've caught but don't reallyfeel like eating yet chilled to perfection, and you derive a certain simplistic joy from fucking aroundwith a day's fresh powder snow.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.

    ur mom gay
     
    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    [X] A mighty volcano, active and oozing lava at all hours of the day. Flesh-searingly hot lava baths do absolute wonders for your scales and the unusually large amount of obsidian just lying around really spruces the place up. In your off-time you've been slowly sculpting the mountainside to look like a moaning skull that weeps lava.
    [X] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.

    p o l i t i c s
     
    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    [x] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat. ​
    [x] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.
     
    [X] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    [X] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat.

    Snowy vistas? Been there, done that. Volcano lairs? Zzzzzzzzzzzz. Coastline property? Snooooresville. The true key to isolation is not in merely being somewhere out of the way, but being somewhere inconvenient and easily hidden. An enchanted forest of towering trees is essentially the draconic equivalent to a one bedroom apartment in a complex.

    [X] Hunt something big and filling. The thrill of the chase, the triumph of a good catch, the pleasant full feeling of a good meal. Plus the schadenfreude of potentially stealing some poor mortal sap's quarry.

    also this is our best chance at snagging one of those hardy wilderness types who also probably isn't too big on talking. C'mon taciturn ranger with a heart of gold.
     
    ngl right now it's a toss up which thing is more upsetting, the title or the fact that i couldn't fucking decide which options i liked best 'cause they're all pretty good

    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.

    god as much as i like the idea of a goth dragon NEET putting up the big lizard equivalent of a metal poster and fucking around in the snow i'm too much of a sucker for seaside stuff and ocean monsters to say no to this.

    [X] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.

    it's perfect, we can have a whole argument with our mother in our head and plot out how awesomely we'll win the way there and back
     
    [x] A mighty volcano, active and oozing lava at all hours of the day. Flesh-searingly hot lava baths do absolute wonders for your scales and the unusually large amount of obsidian just lying around really spruces the place up. In your off-time you've been slowly sculpting the mountainside to look like a moaning skull that weeps lava.
    [x] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.
     
    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.

    Let's be an Ocean man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land that you understand~

    [X] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.

    Also murder and violence without repercussions is always nice. Watch this blow up in our faces anyway.
     
    [X] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat.

    [X] Hunt something big and filling. The thrill of the chase, the triumph of a good catch, the pleasant full feeling of a good meal. Plus the schadenfreude of potentially stealing some poor mortal sap's quarry.
     
    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.

    And

    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    [X] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasionaltasty lumberjack as a treat.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    @ZerbanDaGreat I actually love you

    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.
    [X] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.

    Hoping this is Sea Dragon option, because yes pls.
     
    Is this a dream am I dreaming right now please don't wake me up

    [X] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat.
    [X] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.
     
    [X] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.

    [X] Just go fly around for a bit. Stretch your wings, catch some sun, see what there is to see within flying distance of your lair. Maybe something new's sprung up or been unearthed in the past couple years that's worth your attention.

    Thank you for this from the bottom of my heart.
     
    [X] A den deep in the heart of a forest of trees so tall and mighty that they dwarf even you. For miles and miles around it's nothing but untouched greenery full of magic and monsters, all the game you could ever want, and the occasional tasty lumberjack as a treat.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    [X] A mountain at the roof of the world, so cold that it snows even in summer, your lair sculpted from glacial ice that catches the light just so. Perfect for keeping all the prey you've caught but don't really feel like eating yet chilled to perfection, and you derive a certain simplistic joy from fucking around with a day's fresh powder snow.
    [X] Shapeshift into one of your mortal guises and head into town. It's quite fun in a voyeuristic sort of way to be among the unsuspecting populace, trying out all the things they use to fill in the days of their short, banal lives. Plus it's the only way you can get any damn conversation these days.
     
    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.
    [X] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.
     
    [X] A rocky spire connected to a peninsula by a single weather-worn landbridge, surrounded on all sides by seas that endlessly churn and clash against the rocks. When the winter storms come through lightning strikes the tip of your lair constantly and the effect is absolutely marvellous.
    [X] Go raid the next country over and acquire some choice loot to expand your hoard a little bit. You can really cut loose there, and it's not like they can mount up an army to come kill you when they'd have to start a war to do it. It's endlessly fun picturing them getting helplessly frustrated about it.

    My curiosity is peaked if nothing else.
     
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