Doris and the Olympians

Chapter 14 - Doris and the Curse of the Princess Andromeda
If you wish to take what happened to the two kids as punishment for giving up Doris to the police, then that's your prerogative.

Faced with a halfblood and a mortal wielding a sword, I wished I had my spear. I hadn't brought it with me to work today because honestly, who gets put in life threatening situations at a food court two days in a row? Obviously that person was me, and I had to deal with it now. I did the smart thing and ran.

"Wait! We just want to talk!" The girl cried, but I was already slithering away at full speed.

Now normally a foot race between two small children and a fully-grown adult ends decisively in favor of the adult, but my snake-legs aren't built for running. We reached the subway at almost the same time, and I was treated to the most awkward subway ride in history. Well, at least since that time I took Rainbow shopping for a new rug.

"Please just give us a few minutes." The girl whispered.

"No." I hissed back.

The two followed me all the way back to my apartment building. I tried to use my adult stamina to outlast them by running up the stairwell instead of taking the elevator. Bad move. As it turns out, children have lots and lots of energy. Adults like myself have a limited supply, and I had been running most of the way here.

The boy had to help me limp up the last flight of stairs. Once I finished crawling to my apartment, the girl had to take my keys and open the door for me. I pulled myself across the threshold and looked for Rainbow.

"Rainbow... I need… your help…" I gasped out. But my would-be savior was nowhere to be seen, and I wailed softly. The boy patted me on the back as the girl helped me to the couch.

"How… did you find me?" I panted.

"Mostly by chance." The girl explained. "We were in the food court yesterday and saw the commotion. You looked slightly different from the last time we saw you, but you're still recognizable."

I cursed my half-assed Mist mask. If only I'd been willing to put more effort into it…

"I'm glad we found you, because we really need your help." The girl continued.

"You're a mortal… and a halfblood. I'm a monster, and not even one of the 'good' types… like a centaur or pegasus." I glanced at the sheath at the girl's side, and asked a question that had really been bothering me. "Where'd you even get a normal sword anyways? I know Camp Half-Blood hands out weapons like party favors… but they're always celestial bronze."

"This?" She asked, waving the sword around before returning it to its sheath. "A relative took it off a dead Japanese soldier in World War II. It's not ideal, and it's heavy for someone like me, but against things armed with nothing more than a knife it's worked well so far."

I stared at her. "And no one's found it odd for a teenager to be lugging around a sword?"

Unlike weapons of celestial bronze, mortal weapons weren't naturally shrouded with the Mist. While I could walk down the street and my spear would appear as an umbrella, or something similarly non-lethal, that sword would still look like a sword.

"Hector, what's rule #3?" She asked.

The boy latched onto his sister's leg and looked up at her eyes in glee. "Always use the Mist to hide Sissy's sword!" He chirped.

His sister reached down and tousled his hair.

I sighed. "If you really want some help then there is something I can do for you. You're going to want celestial bronze if you intend to keep on fighting monsters. It's sharper than steel, naturally hidden from mortal eyes, and poisonous to monsters." I said before limping to the closet.

When I opened it, a dozen duplicates of Rainbow stared back at me. Ignoring the headache that caused, I reached past them and grabbed Custer's sword. I shut the door and turned back to my guests.

"Here. This is the sword of George Armstrong Custer, it'll work much better. There, I've helped you. Now shoo."

The girl stared at me like I was a lunatic. "You just have the sword of a famous American general sitting in your closet? Do you also have Patton's revolver in your nightstand? Washington's socks in your wardrobe? The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets in your bathroom?"

At that exact moment, the balcony door opened. In trotted Rainbow, who was balancing a FedEx package on her back. "Hello Doris, hello random children." She said as she walked past us and into my bedroom.

The girl turned back to me with a furious glare on her face. "Sorry, I meant to say the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is on your balcony. She certainly wasn't there when we came in!"

"I can confirm there is no entrance to the Chamber of Secrets on the balcony." Rainbow said as she reentered the room sans-package. She spoke this in her serious tone of voice, as if it was something she actively checked balconies for.

The girl turned to look at Rainbow… mostly. Her eyes were focused a few feet above where Rainbow's head was, and it made me wonder what she was seeing. Perhaps the black haired lawyer form Rainbow had used last year at the police station?

Her brother, however, saw exactly what was there. He practically vibrated in place with excitement, his hands twitching with the young child's instinct to touch everything interesting.

"Who are you and why are you here?" The girl demanded.

"I live here." The pegasus said dismissively, before turning to look at Hector in interest.

The girl's eyes widened in surprise, and she turned to look at me as if she'd just realized something. "Oh, I see, you're…" She began to say.

But before she could finish, her brother lost control of himself. "You're so pretty!" He said as he bolted over and began to pet Rainbow.

"Brother!" The girl cried in shock.

"It's okay." Rainbow said. The air twisted, and I could tell that Rainbow had dropped the veil of Mist that had been obscuring her form from the girl's eyes. While the girl stared in shock, Rainbow used one of her wings to pat Hector on the head. Then the pegasus turned to face me. "Not that I particularly care, but out of curiosity, why have you invited a demigod into your apartment?"

I glared at the two. "They followed me here from work. Where are your parents anyways, haven't they ever told you not to follow strangers home?"

The two glanced at each other. "That's the problem." The boy said softly.

The girl sighed. "After you rescued us last year, our father decided he would send Hector to Camp Half-Blood next summer. So a few months ago we planned out one last family vacation together. We packed up our things, sent the family dog to a friend's house, and boarded the Princess Andromeda for a Caribbean cruise."

The girl paused. I motioned for her to continue, and she frowned.

"I was hoping you might have heard of it. I don't remember most of what happened, but Hector said that as soon as we left port everyone on board went into a trance."

"They started acting like robots." He supplied. "But not like good robots, but broken ones. Also, there were monsters everywhere! I saw a bunch of snake ladies like you, only mean and not nice, and a few dogs that looked like Clifford, but also mean and not nice. Along with me, they were the only ones who weren't acting like robots."

"So how'd you get here?" I asked.

"I pushed her right over the side!"

I stared at him in shock. The girl sighed. "Yes, you did. One day while the ship was at a port in Florida, Hector managed to shove me over the side of the boat and jumped after me. It was like I woke up from a dream, except instead of waking up in my bed I woke up fifty feet above the water. We barely made it to shore."

While that was sad and all, that didn't explain why they were here. "Okay, you escaped. Congratulations. Why are you still here?"

"Because our father is still on board, Hector wasn't strong enough to push him over the railing." The girl supplied.

I stared at the two. "And you came to me? Why didn't you go to that stupid camp? Halfbloods love quests, surely they could help you?"

She shook her head. "That's what we did at first. I managed to get Hector all the way to the Camp and dropped him off, and trust me that wasn't easy. He ran away and found me the next morning."

"They wouldn't help!" The boy cried angrily. "They said they 'couldn't find the ship', and 'it's too dangerous'. They wanted me to just leave Dad there with all the bad guys! Even the nice magic lady wouldn't help, so I went back to Sissy, because I knew she'd help!"

The girl looked pained as she smiled at her brother. "Yes, because I've always dreamed of taking on a ship full of monsters with the family stolen sword. The same ship that I can't even set foot on without suffering from the jedi mind-trick of doom."

Hector stared at her in admiration. "You're so amazing Sissy."

Okay, I had to ask it. "Who's the nice magic lady?"

The girl turned back to me. "I think that's his Mom, but I've never seen her. Anyways will you help us?"

"No."

"Please? What if it was your parents trapped on that cruise ship? Wouldn't you do anything to save them?"

"I'd leave them. They were horrible parents." I said, shaking my head.

"Please? We'll do anything! Our dad's really rich!" The girl pleaded.

"I can do cool magic tricks for you!" The boy added.

That made me pause. I had been trying to gain more money lately. I also knew that there were places halfbloods could go and things they could do that even the gods couldn't. Something about them being half and half made them special.

Even Rainbow, who previously had been focused mostly on Hector's head, was paying attention now.

"Anything?" I asked tentatively. "And all I have to do is go on a boat and drag a guy off of it?"

The two nodded.

I thought about it. If there was a spell or curse that rendered mortals incoherent, but left halfbloods and monsters unaffected, then it was probably pretty weak. A minor calming spell or something. All I'd have to do would be to get on board, pick up the guy, and leave. Simple.

Plus the offer from the halfblood was really tempting. What monster wouldn't want their own halfblood they could throw at a situation to make it go away? Rainbow already owed me twice over, but there were things she couldn't or wouldn't want to do, and as always that was when halfbloods stepped up to the plate and took the shit jobs. Sure, he was rather tiny at the moment, but in a few years who knew how powerful he'd be?

"I'll do it. You two owe me metaphorically, and your dad owes me literally."

A grin threatened to split the girl's face. "Great! Thank you so much! I'll take Hector and head back home tomorrow while you go and-"

"Oh no," I interrupted, "You aren't getting out of this that easily, you're coming with me. I don't know what your dad looks like, and if anything goes wrong you guys are dealing with it too."

"I'll come as well, under the same terms." Rainbow said.

I turned to her in shock. "What? Why do you want to go?"

"I have no source of income, and halfbloods are always useful." She reminded me. Huh, I guess even immortals had finance issues. "Besides, I have business in the area anyways."

I stared at her. "What business could you possibly have in Florida? You've barely left my apartment in the past year."

Rainbow gave me a look, one that I knew from experience meant I wouldn't be getting any answers on that front.

"Who is she and why should we bring her with us? I don't think any of us could ride a pegasus that small." The girl asked skeptically.

A savage grin came across Rainbow's muzzle, and she leapt onto the coffee table to stand before us. "I am a daughter of Nyx!" She boomed. Her fur and feathers darkened until they turned into shadowy wisps as she discarded her current guise. She began to glow ominously, and the power held within her small frame threatened to break free and incinerate all of us.

The siblings leaned back in shock. Rainbow, having divested herself of what she insisted was her 'business suit', had become the mute shadowy figure that had once haunted my dreams. She probably thought this was very intimidating, but after you got past the initial shock she looked like a girl's edgy nightlight. A very edgy nightlight.

"She goes by Rainbow." I commented.

The girl burst into laughter. Rainbow froze in shock, then glared at me as she donned her usual form. I ignored it. She gets way too much of a kick out of scaring people like that for it to be healthy.

"Can… can whatever Rainbow is really come with us?" The girl asked.

Rainbow looked at her oddly. "Why couldn't I?"

"Well, from what my dad told me, it seemed like halfbloods had to do everything themselves. He said the gods weren't allowed to act directly."

"That's typically to avoid accusations of favoritism." Rainbow responded. "The gods have a lot of kids, and spending a bunch of time with one but not the others could lead to even more resentment than there currently is. They could if they absolutely needed to though. In any case, I'm a protogenos, not a god, so the same rules don't always apply."

"Have you ever read the myth of Perseus?" I asked the girl. "It's basically two gods dragging the most unathletic kid they could find across ancient Greece to fame and fortune."
 
PERSEUS: A COMEDY BY DORIS
In case anyone is wondering what Doris meant at the end of the last chapter, here is the story of Perseus. When I read it for the first time, I honestly couldn't believe how everyone just gives Perseus everything he could ever want, he doesn't even have to ask for it.

PERSEUS: A Comedy

By Doris

Disclaimer: This is the myth as it was taught to me in school, so if it differs from what actually happened or from other versions of the myth, just blame the American Educational System.

Long ago, like thousands of years long ago, there lived a king in Greece named Acrisius. He had a beautiful daughter named Danaë, but like all ancient kings what he really wanted was a son. So Acrisius decided he better go ask the oracle at Delphi if he was ever going to have a son.

The oracle at Delphi was sort of like the Google of the ancient world. Want to know how to defeat a great enemy? Ask the oracle. Want to know how to live a good life? Ask the oracle. Want to know when and how you'll die? Ask the oracle.

So Acrisius traveled to Delphi and asked the oracle. "Hey, I've been waiting for a package for several years and it still hasn't arrived. Do you know when it will show up?"

"Hm. Which package was this?" Asked the priestess.

"That son I've been hoping to have. Know when he's going to show up?"

The priestess consulted her records. "Oh, I have bad news. You will never have a son."

Acrisius was heartbroken. Not because he particularly cared about his non-existent son, but because it was something he'd wanted, and was then told he couldn't have. "Oh well. Maybe I can find one at the local orphanage."

But as he turned to leave the priestess grabbed his shoulder. "Act now and you can get a second prophecy for free!"

Acrisius took the click-bait. "I'd love a free prophecy!"

The priestess smirked. "You won't for much longer. Not only will you never have a son, your daughter will have a son that will kill you one day."

Acrisius went home disappointed and angry, kind of like most people who visited the oracle.

'Hm.' He thought. 'I can't let my daughter have a child, if it's a boy he'll kill me eventually.'

Now while a sensible person might go and tell their wonderful, beautiful, lovely in every way daughter that dating is forever off the table due to potential death, Acrisius wasn't a normal person. He was actually quite a dick, and the only reason he didn't kill his daughter was that he knew that the gods hated it when people killed members of their own family. The last thing he wanted was to be hit with a bolt of lightning and then tortured for all eternity by the Furies.

So he didn't kill his daughter, and instead built an underground lair out of bronze to hide her in. He decided that if he trapped her there, she obviously couldn't have a boyfriend, and thus no kids. She still had to breathe, so he left the top off of his daughter dungeon.

If he had ever watched the ancient Greek version of Jurassic Park, he would have realized that sex life finds a way. Especially when that life is named Zeus and in a particularly horny mood. One cloudy day, Danaë was looking up at the clouds, hoping that it wouldn't rain on her again. Up in the clouds, Zeus was looking down and deciding to get a little weird.

Golden rain fell from the sky, and Danaë got pregnant. Somehow, she put two and two together and got Zeus. Despite being trapped in a metal box with nowhere to hide, she managed to go through her pregnancy, give birth, and begin to raise her child without Acrisius knowing. She named him Perseus.

One day, Acrisius went down to visit his daughter and realized that there was someone else in the room with them. "That's a baby boy." He said intelligently. "That is indeed a baby. Down here in my daughter dungeon. Where she isn't supposed to be able to have a boyfriend."

"Yup. Say hello to your grandson Perseus." Danaë said.

Now Acrisius didn't want to say hello to Perseus, he really wanted to scream 'DIE PERSEUS!', but he couldn't for the same reason he couldn't kill Danaë. So instead he focused on the whole 'no boyfriends' thing.

"Who's the father?" He asked.

"Zeus." His daughter replied.

Now Zeus was almost as frisky as Poseidon was in ancient times, so when someone claimed they were pregnant with or had given birth to Zeus's kid, they probably were telling the truth. Acrisius didn't believe his daughter though. He certainly hadn't seen a god come down and visit his daughter. That and his daughter hadn't met a terrible fate at the hands of Hera, as was the norm for Zeus's girlfriends.

Then Acrisius had a terrible idea. He couldn't kill his daughter or grandson, but what if he made sure that they died another way?

"Hey Danaë? I think I'm warming up to the little tyke. I think I'll get him a present."

He had a giant chest made, and brought it down to the bronze dungeon.

"Oh, is it a giant toybox for little Perseus?" Danaë asked.

Acrisius smirked. "Nope! It's a youbox!"

Then he had Danaë and Perseus stuffed in the chest, locked it, and put it on a boat. He sailed out to sea, threw the chest overboard, went home and called it a day. His daughter and grandson would surely drown/die of exposure/starve to death/die of thirst/etc., and it wouldn't be him that killed them!

He was in such a good mood that he decided to celebrate by oppressing his subjects.



Back in the chest, Danaë and Perseus sailed on. The next morning the chest washed ashore on an island. This wasn't of great help to the pair locked inside, as it only meant that they could no longer drown. However, at this point either the Fates or Zeus looked down and thought, 'Gee this is getting really dark. I better throw those two a bone.' and caused a fisherman named Dictys to come across the chest.

When Dictys found the chest, he thought he'd finally won the great Poseidon lottery. He eagerly opened it up and was surprised to find two people inside. Despite his name Dictys was not actually a dick, and took the two home. He and his wife didn't have any kids, but he had always wanted a grandson to spoil.

For a while, everyone was happy. Dictys and his wife got a pseudo-daughter and pseudo-grandson, Acrisius got rid of his potential murderer, Perseus grew up and learned how to fish, and Danaë got out of both her bronze dungeon and the chest of doom.

But then another horny guy came along. Dictys's brother Polydectes was a very mean man. He was so mean, that despite ruling the island none of the women wanted to date him. This was fine with Polydectes for a while, but then one day he saw Danaë and thought. 'Man, that chick is beautiful. She has a fully grown kid, but she's still the hottest woman on the island. I gotta marry her.'

There was a problem though. Polydectes didn't like Perseus at all. He just wanted Danaë, he didn't want to have to look after a kid, even one fully grown and self-sufficient like Perseus. So he decided to get rid of Perseus. Like Acrisius, Polydectes didn't want to actually have to kill Perseus himself. So he came up with a plan.

"Hey Perseus, do you know what I would want more than anything in the world?" He said to Perseus one day.

"That seems like an odd question, but I'll bite." Perseus replied.

"The head of Medusa. You know, the gorgon who is so ugly she turns people to stone when they look at her. The one guarded by her two immortal gorgon sisters. Unlike her sisters, Medusa can be killed. I dream that one day I might have her severed head in a bag, which I can then put on my mantle." Said Polydectes.

"That's ambitious." Perseus noted. "What I want more than anything in the world is for my grandfather to welcome me home with open arms so that we can be reconciled and live together in happiness."

Polydectes frowned. "That's the grandfather who locked your mother in a dungeon, and then stuffed both her and you in a chest and left you at sea to die, right?"

Perseus nodded. "Yup, that one. My other grandfather, Kronos, went to pieces before I was born."

"You're family's weird."

Then Polydectes put into motion step two of his two step plan to get rid of Perseus. He announced he was getting married and invited all of his friends, as well as Perseus. He didn't say who he was getting married to, just that it was going to happen.

He threw a big party, and everyone brought him gifts. Everyone, however, except for Perseus. Maybe Perseus was really poor, or maybe Polydectes only gave him the invitation the day of the party. Either way, Perseus watched as all the other people gave Polydectes great gifts. In fact, they gave him all the gifts Perseus could think of that Polydectes could want. All of them, except for…

"Hey Perseus, what's your gift?" asked Polydectes.

"Uh… I'll bring you the best gift of anyone! I'll bring you the head of Medusa!" Perseus boasted.

Now I know what you're thinking. Pride, a fall, and all that. But Perseus was weird in that apart from Acrisius and Polydectes, everyone on the planet seemed to think the kid was the coolest thing ever. The Fates included. Perseus would just show up somewhere and people would throw him parties and give him magical items, heck Hermes backpacked across half of Greece with the kid!

But that would happen later, and right now Perseus had neither a sword nor knew where Medusa lived. Perseus realized that this was a problem, and that he hadn't really planned out this whole 'Medusa killing thing.' Rather than go home and tell his mom of his poor decision, he hopped on the first ship to Greece. After all, the oracle at Delphi was the Google of the ancient world and Perseus had a gorgon to find.



"What do you mean you don't know where Medusa lives?" Perseus asked, dumbfounded.

The priestess shrugged. "One day everyone seems to know the story of Medusa, the next everyone just seems to forget where she lives. These things have been happening a lot ever since we switched to Bing."

"Can you at least tell me where to find someone who knows where Medusa lives?" He tried.

The Priestess frowned. "We typically aren't in the business of referring people to other founts of ancient wisdom."

"Please?" Asked Perseus.

The Priestess studied him for a moment. "Oh alright, but only because you are such a cool guy. Go to the land where people eat acorns instead of grain."



So Perseus went to Dodona, where people made bread from acorns, and visited the oracle of Zeus.

"Can you help me find Medusa?" He asked.

The Priestess listened to the leaves rustling in the oak trees. "I'm not getting any hits on the name Medusa."

"What? Is there anything you can tell me?"

"Oh that's easy. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, your lucky number is 14, and you are under the protection of the gods."

Perseus frowned. "Did they miss the part where I was born in a bronze dungeon and my father tried to kill me?"

"Maybe."



Eventually, Perseus almost gave up. No one in Greece knew where Medusa lived, he still didn't have a sword, and ancient Google was acting like a magic eight ball. That's when he saw Hermes.

Perseus pointed at the beautiful young man carrying a wand with wings, and was wearing a winged hat and winged sandals. "You must be Hermes!"

Hermes gasped in surprise and pointed right back at the coolest person ever, who was currently looking to kill Medusa. "You must be Perseus!"

They both eagerly shook hands and simultaneously said "It's an honor!"

Perseus eyed Hermes critically. "I'm trying to find Medusa. You're the god of travelers, can you guide me to her?"

Hermes waved off the question. "If you're gonna kill Medusa, you're gonna need the right tools for the job."

Perseus gasped. "You mean you're going to give me a sword!"

"No, that comes later. We need to get you to see the nymphs of the North."

"You're still the god of travelers, you can take me there right?"

Hermes grimaced. "We've switched over to Bing recently, so I'm not exactly sure how to get there."

"Doesn't anyone still use ancient Google?" Perseus cried.

Hermes thought for a moment. "I think the Grey Women still use it. Luckily their location is one of the few things that hasn't been jumbled in the switch. Unfortunately, Olympus Banking Services is offline at the moment, so we'll have to force them to tell us the way rather than simply pay them."

"How are we going to do that? Surely these three wise old women have learned how to deal with scammers?" Perseus asked.

"Oh that's easy. The three of them only have one eye between them, and they share it. When we get there we'll hide in the bushes and wait for them to make a switch. Then you'll rush out of the bushes and grab the eye. They'll do anything to get it back." Hermes explained.

"Eww. That sounds gross. Can't you do that?" Perseus asked.

"As cool as you are Perseus, I'm a god. I don't have to touch icky old-woman eyeballs."

"Oh, so about that sword?" Perseus prodded.

"Sure, here." Hermes said, handing Perseus a blade. "It's celestial bronze, great stuff, very expensive. It won't bend or break if you hit the scales of a gorgon, and is rust resistant."

Perseus took the sword with awe. "Thanks. But how will I survive to hit her with this when I can't look at her without being petrified?"

"I can help you there." Came a new voice.

Perseus turned and saw another god, the goddess Athena walk up to him. She had a very shiny shield covering her chest. In fact, it was so shiny that Perseus could see his reflection in it perfectly.

"Here." She said, handing Perseus the shield. "If you use this as a mirror, you can look at Medusa without being turned to stone."

Perseus and Hermes politely avoided their eyes.

"Why are you not looking at me?" Athena asked.

Perseus gestured vaguely towards her chest area. Athena looked down, and her eyes widened in realization.

"Oh yeah, forgot I was using that in place of a bra. Um, I'm going to go change clothes."

And so Athena left to deal with her wardrobe malfunction, and Perseus and Hermes went to harass three old hags for directions.



"NOBODY MOVES, OR THE EYE GETS IT!" Perseus shouted. He really hoped nobody moved, he really wasn't looking forward to getting even more old-woman eyeball on his hand.

Thankfully, the Grey Women froze.

"Now tell me how to get to the nymphs of the North." He demanded.

The Grey Women promptly complied, and gave step-by-step directions, along with side routes to take in case of traffic. Perseus thanked them and promptly handed back the eye.



Perseus eventually arrived where the nymphs of the North lived, the land of the Hyperboreans. Now these must have been different Hyperboreans than the ones I know of, who are thirty foot tall ice giants. In any case, the Hyperboreans saw immediately that Perseus was the coolest thing since sliced bread, and they promptly threw him a feast. There was music, there was dancing, and there were free magical party favors. They gave him free winged sandals, just like the ones Hermes wore. They gave him a wallet that would change size to fit whatever he put inside of it. They gave him a cap of invisibility, because at this point why not?

Again, people seemed to just love Perseus. I don't think the Hyperboreans even threw a party for Hermes. Anyways, after the party and the hangover had passed, Hermes pulled Perseus aside. "Hey, we switched back to Google. I can get you to Medusa."



So Hermes and Perseus flew on their winged sandals down to the island where Medusa and her two sisters lived. All three were asleep, and Perseus readied his ambush.

He had the shield, so that he wouldn't be turned to stone. He had the winged sandals, so that he could fly down to and away from the island. He had the sword so that he could actually kill Medusa. He had the ancient bag of holding, which he would put the head in. He even had the cap of invisibility so that the three gorgons would never see him coming and never see him leaving.

Perseus spotted Medusa and crept close to her. He drew back his sword, and then prepared to strike. Unfortunately, everyone had overlooked actually teaching the kid how to use a sword and he was out of beginner's luck.

Everything might have gone terribly wrong, except at that moment Athena showed back up. "Hey guys, I've fixed my clothes. What's going – WHOA KID THAT IS NOT HOW YOU SWING A SWORD!"

She flew over to Perseus and grabbed his hand.

"This is how you swing a sword." She said as she physically dragged Perseus's arm through the motion that severed Medusa's head from her neck.

Her part done, Athena left. Hermes left as well.

Medusa's sisters awoke from their midafternoon nap to find their sister beheaded. They were understandably confused and angry, but as Perseus was wearing the cap of invisibility they couldn't do anything about it. Perseus flew down and grabbed Medusa's head, put it in his wallet, and flew off to go home in triumph.



However, before that happened, Perseus made a pit stop in Africa, as one does. I know it doesn't make much sense. Maybe without Hermes at his side Perseus had no sense of direction and headed south instead of north. Either way, he ended up in Ethiopia next. As he was flying by, he saw a beautiful woman chained up on a cliff. Curious and entranced by her beauty, he flew down to her

"Hey there. Got a name beautiful?" Perseus asked.

The woman looked around herself in shock. "Andromeda. Is somebody there?"

Perseus quickly took off the cap of invisibility.

"So," He began, "What's a pretty lady like you doing on an ugly cliff like this?"

"Oh, you know, just hanging around." Andromeda replied.

Even her voice was lovely. Perseus knew right then and there that this was the one for him. "Say, has a beautiful woman like you ever thought about having a big, strong man in her life?"

Andromeda thought for a moment. "To tell the truth, I've been a little tied up lately."

Perseus nodded. "Say, what's up with the chains anyways? You're really rocking the damsel in distress look."

Andromeda began to explain her story. Her mother, Queen Cassiopeia, had thought herself so beautiful that she bragged she was prettier than the daughters of Nereus, who was a sea god. Nereus got pretty upset with Cassiopeia, and a sea serpent was set upon the Ethiopians. Every day it came in and ate some of them, and there was nothing they could do about it.

So their king and a bunch of other Ethiopians went and consulted ancient Google by visiting an oracle.

"Nereus is pretty angry with your wife." Said the Priestess to King Cepheus.

"I know, we've been having a bit of a snake problem lately." Cepheus replied. "How can I get the serpent killed or called off? Do I need to have my wife apologize? Do I need to make offerings to the gods? Do I need to sacrifice my wife to the sea serpent?"

"Close." The Priestess replied. "You need to offer up your daughter Andromeda to the serpent."

"What? Why her and not her mother?" The king cried.

The Priestess shrugged. "I don't make the results, I merely tell them."

"So if we offer up Andromeda, the serpent will stop eating us?" One of the other Ethiopians asked.

The Priestess nodded.

Cepheus turned to stare at the man in horror. "Wait, we can't do that! This is my daughter we're talking about! Andromeda had nothing to do with this."

The man turned to look at his king. "So?"

And so the people of Ethiopia had forced their king to offer up his daughter to the sea serpent instead of the idiot queen.

Perseus glanced at the chains binding her and frowned. "That doesn't sound right. Hey, if I free you would you go out with me?"

She hesitated. "Well, the problem is that the sea serpent will be coming any moment, and if I'm not here it's going to continue to eat more people."

Then the sea serpent showed up.

"It's the sea monster! You need to fly away, I might have just met you but I don't want you to die as well!" Andromeda cried.

Perseus turned and looked at the sea serpent. He watched as it approached and stood there, waiting right up to the moment when it prepared to eat Andromeda. Then he took out his sword and repeated the motion Athena had guided him through to kill Medusa, cutting the head off of the snake.

"So now that that's out of the way, how about I pick you up at 4 o'clock?"

Andromeda stared at him. "Cut me loose right now and I'll even throw in a good word for you with my father."

Perseus shuddered. Getting parental approval was always the hard part. "Sure."



"Andromeda! You're alive!" Said King Cepheus happily.

"Yes! And the sea serpent is dead too! It's all thanks to this random guy here. Say, what's your name anyways?" Said Andromeda.

"I am Perseus. By the way, can I marry your daughter?" Perseus asked.

"What? But you've just met? What if your personalities don't mesh, or it's just a brief spell of infatuation?" Cried the queen.

King Cepheus dismissed that crazy notion. "Of course! You seem like a cool and nice young man, of course you can take my daughter you just rescued away to another continent!"

And so Perseus again set out for home, this time with his new wife. Whether he carried her across the ocean on his winged sandals or took a boat, I don't know. I hope he took a boat, it would have been hard on his back to carry her that far.



"Mom? I'm home." Perseus called as he opened the door to his home.

"Are you sure this is the right place? It seems pretty empty and you are bad with directions." Asked Andromeda.

Perseus frowned. This was definitely his home, but nobody was here. What was going on?



While Perseus had been off on his adventure, Polydectes had made his move. He tried to convice Danaë to marry him, but she refused. This made Polydectes extremely angry, and so Danaë and Dictys had to go hide in a temple to avoid him.

This made Perseus furious. When he found out that Polydectes was having a banquet with all of his supporters, Perseus knew exactly what he had to do.



"HEEEERE'S PERSEUS!" Perseus cried as he threw open the door to the banquet hall. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him as he marched into the room.

Then he pulled out Medusa's head, instantly killing everyone.

"Ha! Bet you're too stoned to go after my mother now, aren't you?" He said as he put the head back in his wallet. He admired his new sculptures for a moment, then left to go find his mom.



With Polydectes and his supporters dead, the position of king was vacant on the island. As the coolest human being alive, and the killer of the previous king, Perseus got to choose the next king.

"For the position of king of this island, I choose Dictys! As an old man whose wife died while I was gone, he has no kids and little possibility of fathering more. I'll just leave you all with this looming succession crisis and take my mom and my new wife back home with me to confront my grandfather. Toodles!"

So Perseus, Andromeda, and Danaë traveled back to Greece to confront Acrisius. Andromeda was a bit confused as to why her new husband and mother-in-law wanted to make up with him, but the two assured her that time had probably made Acrisius a kinder man who would welcome them back with open arms.

It hadn't. In fact, time had made him such a cruel man that his own people had kicked him out and nobody knew where he was. Somewhat disappointed, Perseus consoled himself by traveling to compete in some athletic competitions, figuring that his experience as a Medusa and sea serpent slayer would help him out in the competition.

It didn't. Perseus was so bad at athletics that when he threw the discus, he managed to throw it past the meager safety barriers and kill a man in the crowd. As everyone gathered around the fallen man in horror, someone recognized him.

"Hey! Under that fake beard it's old King Acrisius!"

The crowd murmured.

"Well," one man said, "you're the coolest guy ever, it was an accident, and nobody liked this guy anyways."

And so Perseus got away with murder in front of several hundred witnesses. You know how the gods and Furies hated people who killed family members? They gave Perseus a pass on it because he was such a cool guy.



And so the rest of them lived happily ever after. Danaë never had to worry about her father stuffing her in a newer, more elaborate form of imprisonment ever again. Perseus and Andromeda were happily married until their deaths and had several children. One of their descendants would be Heracles/Hercules/whatever-les. There was no mention of Perseus having to return all the gifts he received along the way, so I assume everyone thought he was such a swell guy they let him keep them.

The Grey Women would go on to change their names to the Gray Sisters, feeling that a younger sounding name would help their struggling taxi-service from hell. Athena received the head of Medusa, which she used as a mold for Zeus's Aegis. Hera would continue to ignore Perseus's existence, possibly because she too thought he was such a cool guy.

'But what about Pegasus?' You might ask. 'I thought Perseus rode him at some point?'

I did too. My textbook I learned this from even had an illustration of Perseus holding Medusa's head while riding Pegasus on its front cover. But it never mentions the two together, so I don't know what was going on there.

And thus ends the myth of Perseus.
 
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Chapter 15 - The Great American Road Trip Begins
"Rainbow, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked.

Rainbow looked up from her backpack, which in my opinion looked more like a gaping maw of darkness.

"You were acting really odd back there." I prodded.

She frowned. "I was acting perfectly normal."

No she wasn't. "You never talk about your past, not beyond what you told me the second day you were here. Yet within 10 minutes of these two showing up, you're finally spilling the beans on exactly what you are?"

To be honest, I was surprised that Rainbow was a protogenos. The personifications of various concepts tended to stick to themselves, and didn't get out much beyond doing their jobs. I'd honestly suspected she was the child of Nyx and Pegasus, and as such was just a random demonic immortal equine. But if she was a protogenos, then her parents were likely either both protogenoi or both Nyx (she did that weird having children by herself thing quite often).

I was brought out of my thoughts when Rainbow answered me. "They're children." She said, as if that explained everything.

"So?"

"They're children." She repeated, looking at me intently.

"What are you getting at?"

"Don't you feel the power in them?"

For a moment I stretched my senses and thought. I felt nothing at all from the girl. Her brother, however… "I feel a little bit of 'I might kick your ass in a few years' power from the boy, if that's what you mean."

"No! I thought… I thought from the way people talk about children that they might see it too. That you might be able to see it."

"See what?"

Rainbow's eyes wandered, as if she was looking at something off in the distance. "In a small way, they can be just as powerful as you… or even me."

"I feel like you just said something deeply profound, but I'm lacking the frame of reference needed to understand it."

Rainbow looked frustrated. "Look, these things are very complicated, and I shouldn't be surprised you can't comprehend them. Is there anything else you wanted to ask?"

"Yes actually. What are you the protogenos of, and what's being a protogenos like anyways?" I asked curiously.

For a moment Rainbow simply looked at me. I could practically see the debate going on behind her brilliant eyes.

Eventually she responded. "I think the first is a bit too personal. As to the second, all I can say is that us protogenoi are concepts given form. How would you go about describing your very being to someone else?"

Oh, that one's easy. "A monster is just a miserable pile of dust."

She glared at me. Not her normal 'I think you're being an idiot' glare, but one with a hint of bitterness behind it. "Then you're lucky to know what you're made of." She turned away, and resumed packing her backpack from hell. She grabbed a toothbrush that looked more like a medieval instrument of torture and placed it next to a steel toothpick. For a moment I watched as she piled more and more items into it, some useful to bring on a trip and some seemingly chosen at random.

Eventually I brought up my last question. "About that business you have…"

She didn't even look up as she answered. "It's private."

"I get that, but is it something I need to worry about? I don't want another hellhound in the museum type of surprise."

Rainbow paused for a moment. "No. If anything, who I am meeting with would want to hire you."



One trip to use the computers at the public library later (as none of us had any cellphones or computers of our own), we had our destination. The Princess Andromeda was scheduled to leave on a cruise from Pensacola in a week. After consulting train and bus schedules, I was confident we could get there in under four days, and then rest the remaining three.

We boarded the five o'clock train for Washington D.C., and our Great American Road Trip began.



When we got to the capitol, we called it a day. I certainly didn't want to sleep on a bus or train more than I had to, and unlike my adventure last year we had the luxury of time. So rather than arrive at Atlanta at eight in the morning, we made for the nearest hotel we could find.

It was big, it was grand, and I was glad I paid my bills with monopoly money.

"I'd like to get three rooms." I began.

Rainbow was having none of that though, and hopped up onto the front desk. "We'll take the best suite available."

The woman at the desk frowned. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Rainbow's voice grew deeper. "I said, we'll take the best suite available."

The woman's eyes lost focus. "I'll give you the best suite available."

Fifteen minutes later we were in a four bedroom suite that shared a living room and kitchen.

"This is so much better than breaking into motels." The girl commented.



"Tell me a story."

I looked up from the television to find Hector standing in the doorway to my room.

"Tell me a bedtime story." He repeated.

I frowned. "I'm not your mother. Go watch TV or something."

"I was going to, but Sissy said that there's nothing on this late."

I sighed and turned the television off. Whatever made the news so fascinating to Rainbow was beyond me. "She's not wrong. The answer's still no."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Still no."

"Please please please please pleeeease?"

"Go ask Rainbow, she seems to like you well enough." I said.

Hector looked down at the ground. "I did, but all she did was stare at me."

"She does that sometimes." I said absently. "Go ask your sister."

Hector didn't look up. "She said she's trying to sleep."

"Well so am I!"

He looked up at me, eyes wide and lips quivering. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Ugh, fine."

And so I told him the story of Perseus.
 
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Chapter 16 - Rainbow Does Not Understand Personal Space
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

Of course, if you give a kid an inch they'll take a mile. Guess what I was pressured into doing the next night when we were in Atlanta?

That's right, another story. I could have told him the story of Atalanta, who Atlanta was kind of sort of named after, but I noticed Rainbow lurking in the background and switched tracks to Bellerophon and Pegasus. I told the story, sent the kid off to bed, and went to sleep.



"Doris."

I was intently studying the inside of my eyelids.

"Doris."

"Ughhh."

"Doris!"

My eyes flew open and I screamed. Normally I don't find Rainbow's face particularly scary, but normally it wasn't all of six inches away. The pegasus was currently standing over me, her legs straddling my torso. Was she trying to give me a heart attack?

"What is it?" I hissed after gathering my wits.

A frown crossed her muzzle. "I need to ask you a question."

Then the door flew open. The steel-eyed girl charged into the room, her Thomas the Tank Engine pajamas illuminated by the glow from Custer's sword. She brandished the weapon at the ready as her eyes scanned the darkened room for danger, before finally spotting the two of us.

"What's going on? Oh… oh… um, I'm going to leave now." She stammered as she shuffled back out of the room and shut the door.

This was going to be a recurring thing, wasn't it?

"Doris?" Rainbow prompted.

"… Sure. Just get off of me." I sighed.

Rainbow hopped down and began pacing. She looked so small with her head at eyelevel with the edge of my bed. Her size and calm demeanor made her seem harmless most of the time, even though I knew what I could see was nothing more than a second skin.

Eventually she paused, turning to look at me. "Why did you help them?"

The kids? "They offered me money and favors. You were there, you accepted for the same reason."

Rainbow shook her head and resumed pacing. "No, I meant back in Ohio. Why did you free them?"

I thought for a moment, back to that night over a year ago. "Well, monsters kill halfbloods, and halfbloods kill monsters. It's the Greek circle of life, and it'll kill us all eventually. But going out and killing mortals, it doesn't make any sense. It's like kicking over an anthill because a bird pooped on your head. I also felt like I could relate to the human, just a little bit. Being trapped with no easy way out because of someone else's crimes reminded me of being in the police station. Then it seemed like a jerk move to free one and not the other."

I wish I could have seen Rainbow's reaction, but her head was hidden in the shadows. "And now? If another monster came for them, what would you do?"

"I guess I'd have to help them, they're no use to me dead. What's with the sudden interest?"

The pegasus trotted over to the window. Using her wings, she threw open the curtains and stared out into the night. "Monsters, more ancient and powerful than usual, have been returning at an alarming rate. It is becoming increasingly dangerous for demigods to remain away from Camp Half-Blood. If you care to see Hector survive to see his father freed, you must be prepared to fight others of your own kind."

Well it wasn't like monsters didn't fight with each other on occasion. If you thought we got along like a big old monstrous family, we didn't. Telekhines and sphinxes never got along. The centaurs would just as soon help as hunt a halfblood, depending on who offered free drinks first. And everyone stayed away from the Laistrygonians if they could help it, because those weirdos had very few scruples about what they would eat. Besides, due to his age Hector's scent was extremely weak. I highly doubted that any monsters would find him unless they were put in the same room.

But how did Rainbow know about this? She rarely left my apartment, preferring to spend most of her time watching the news religiously in three separate languages. I highly doubt mortals keep up with the latest in monster sightings.

"Since when have you been keeping up with the latest in halfblood gossip? You certainly don't get out much."

Rainbow studied me for a moment. "This body is not my only one. Were I to compress all of myself into it, you would be incinerated. Did you not notice my duplicates in your closet? They noticed you."

To be honest I had tried to forget about that headache. "Yes, but I thought it was just you being, well, you."

She snorted. "No. While this is my main vessel, I do keep eyes on Olympus, Camp Half-Blood, and the Underworld. There isn't much in the way of gossip that I miss."

I sighed. "If any monsters do show up, I'll deal with it when it happens. Have you warned his sister about this?"

Rainbow cocked her head to the side. Like all the way to the side, at a 90 degree angle. Tomorrow I'm going to have to have another talk with her about how bodies normally work.

"Why would I have told the mortal anything?"

"Maybe because she's the more mature of the two of them, and they probably need to know that being away from camp is getting more dangerous?"

Rainbow frowned. "I guess that is an acceptable reason. I'll go inform her."

As the clip-clop of Rainbow's hooves grew faint, I turned over and went back to sleep.



The next morning we were all getting ready to leave the hotel when there was a knock at the door. Huh must be a maid or something. Hector ran over and opened the door.

"Would you like to join the titans?"

Hector frowned. "But I don't like playing football."

As the door opened fully and I saw the creature he was addressing, only one thing went through my mind. That was not a maid.
 
Pegasus and Bellerophon: A Horse and His Idiot Boy
Again, some of this might be incorrect both mythically and with regards to the PJO verse. I've used a book I've decided is Doris's main body of mythological knowledge as the source and ignored most everything not in it.

Pegasus and Bellerophon: A Horse and His Idiot Boy


By Doris


Since Rainbow takes the form of a pegasus from the depths of Greek hell, I'm going to tell the story of the original Pegasus and the not too-bright halfblood Bellerophon. Like most Greek myths, it begins with a guy who is a king.


Sisyphus was a king of Corinth who did one of two things. Either he tattled to a river god when Zeus was on a booty call with said god's daughter, or he tricked and/or beat the stuffing out Thanatos, the personification of death, when he came for him and tied the protogenos up in his own chains.


Maybe one lead to the other? My mythological textbook only mentioned the first part. If you ask me personally though, I think the second is a load of horse manure. I may or may not have tousled with Rainbow over the TV remote once or twice, and there is no way a random mortal is going to physically overpower and tie up one of her siblings. Except maybe Geras, the personification of old age.


Either way, before he ticked off the gods and ended up being tortured via eternal landscaping, Sisyphus had a son named Glaucus, who like his father was kind of a jerk. Glaucus loved horses, and he had a bunch of his own that he used for war. He wanted them to be fierce, so he fed them lots of long pig.


In case you didn't know, that means he fed them human flesh.


Now on the list of things the gods can't stand, the eating of humans is pretty much item number one. It's up there with killing a family member and doing the dirty in one of their temples. So one day they decided that enough was enough and caused Glaucus's horses to eat him. Yum.


In any case, Glaucus had a wife named Eurynome. She had a son named Bellerophon, who was rumored to actually be the son of Poseidon. Considering what Bellerophon would go on to do, Euynome was totally cheating on Glaucus with old sea-beard.


Now Bellerophon was an interesting person. Some people want to grow up to be president. Some people want to cure cancer. Some people want a wing in every art museum named after them. Bellerophon wanted Pegasus.


I might have forgotten this when I told the story of Perseus, but Pegasus was totally there when Medusa was slain. That's because when Perseus chopped off Medusa's head, a winged horse popped out. Go figure, she was pregnant from way back when she and Poseidon did it in Athena's temple. What makes it worse was that not only Pegasus popped out, but so did his brother Chrysaor. It gets weirder, as Chrysaor was not a horse, but a person. Worst pregnancy ever, giving birth to a guy and a horse via decapitation.


Now Pegasus was pretty awesome. Not only was he a winged horse, the progenitor of all pegasi, but he was a super pegasus. He didn't get tired of flying, he was as fast as the wind, and he had a shiny coat and feathers. Heck one time Pegasus kicked the ground and a lovely fresh-water spring popped out. There was no finer horse on (or in this case above) earth.


So like many a great man and woman in ancient Greece, Bellerophon consulted ancient Google to get what he wanted. Unlike Perseus he didn't visit an oracle, but instead visited a seer named Polyidus.


"Oh great seer, how can I obtain the most wonderful horse Pegasus?" asked Bellerophon.


The seer stared blankly into the distance for a moment. "Go to the temple of Athena and take a nap."


Bellerophon frowned. "That doesn't sound like it will help me. Are you sure you didn't mean Poseidon's temple? He is both the creator of horses and the father of Pegasus."


The seer continued to stare blankly into the distance. "Nope, definitely Athena's. Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, us seer's use Ask Jeeves instead of Google."


Bellerophon sighed, but did as the seer said and went to sleep in Athena's temple. He dreamed a boring dream that he was sleeping in Athena's temple.


Then Athena showed up. "Hey Bellerophon, I've heard you want Pegasus. While normally I dislike Poseidon and all of his spawn, you seem like a pretty cool guy, sort of like Perseus. Here's a nice piece of bling that'll win that equine's heart. Oh by the way, wake up."


Bellerophon shot to his feet and looked around to find himself alone. Saddened, he looked down and saw that there was a bridle of solid gold at his feet.


Now I'm not the best judge of what's comfortable for horses, but I did ask Rainbow her opinion on the subject. She said that gold, like most metals, is not comfortable to use as a head-strap and does not make for good reins, though it would be acceptable for an ostentatious bit. She then made some vague threats on what she might do if I was honestly trying to get on her back.


However, Pegasus apparently thought differently. When Bellerophon found him near Corinth, Pegasus let him put on the blinged-out metal bridle without any fight.


And so Bellerophon had his heart's desire, and got to fly around on Pegasus. Pegasus didn't seem to mind being ridden, and went everywhere with Bellerophon. Perhaps Pegasus had gotten bored of flying alone, or tired of watching the silly mortals shrink back from him in fear and awe. Either way, the two became the dynamic duo of ancient Greece.




"Ooops."


Then Bellerophon accidentally killed his brother. Horrified, Bellerophon rode to Argos to get purified by King Proteus. Unfortunately for him, the king's wife Anteia had other ideas…


"Hey there hunk, what brings you here?" Anteia asked.


"The accidental murder of my brother." Said Bellerophon sadly.


Pegasus nickered.


"Sounds tragic. Say, why don't the two of us go to a secluded glade near here and get to know each other?" Anteia tried.


Bellerophon frowned. "I'm a bit busy, your husband and I have this purification thing going on because of the accidental fratricide. Besides, don't you mean the three of us? I bring Pegasus with me everywhere I go."


Pegasus nodded.


Anteia frowned. "Look, I guess I'll be straight forward. I want you and me to have some nice alone time in the bedroom, starting now. Interested?"


Bellerophon turned white as a sheet. "Oh no! Um, sorry, the offer's nice and all, but I am here to be purified because I killed my brother. I want to stay on the king's good side."


Pegasus nodded.


And so they didn't bang. But Anteia got salty over Bellerophon turning her down and decided the appropriate response would be to get him killed.


"Oh Proteus, you'll never guess what just happened!" Anteia cried as she ran into her husband's throne room.


"Ancient Google predicted my death?" King Proteus hazarded. It was a recurring problem for ancient Greek kings...


Anteia threw up her arms. "Worse! I ran into Bellerophon in the hallway, and he tried to force me to have some alone time in the bedroom with him. I just barely escaped!"


"That fiend! I knew he was trouble the moment he said he'd killed his brother." King Proteus growled. "I'll kill him!"


But like most evil or accidental villains in Greek myths, King Proteus couldn't actually kill Bellerophon himself. While the two weren't related, there was the issue that Bellerophon was King Proteus's guest. It was a serious breach of ancient Greek etiquette to harm your guest. Like, Zeus gets angry breach of etiquette. So instead, King Proteus decided to send Bellerophon on a task that would certainly get him killed.


"Hey Bellerophon, can I ask you to do something?" Asked King Proteus.


"Sure thing king. By the way, thanks for all your help with this purification stuff." Bellerophon replied.


Pegasus nodded.


"I have this letter I need to get mailed to King Lycia in Asia. Unfortunately, the postal service doesn't exist yet. Since you have such an amazingly wonderful flying horse, could you deliver this for me?" King Proteus explained.


Bellerophon nodded eagerly. Pegasus stretched his wings and prepared for flight.


And so the two left for Asia with the letter. When they arrived, King Lycia was so impressed with the pair that he entertained them for over a week before remembering they had come bearing a letter. On the ninth day he opened the letter, and read the note inside.


'Do me a solid and kill this guy.'


Fortunately for Bellerophon, by waiting for so long King Lycia was placed in the exact same dilemma that King Proteus was in. Namely that he wanted to kill Bellerophon, but he couldn't without ticking off the gods.


Meanwhile Bellerophon was off thinking that everything was going great. Having Pegasus with him made him the coolest guy around by default. Horses were sort of like cars for the ancient Greeks, and so when the guys got together to compare cars horses, it went a little like this:


"So I have an 1126 B.C. Mustang with grey withers."


Everyone whistled appreciatively.


"Mine's an 1124 B.C. Pinto with a white coat."


Everyone winced in sympathy.


"I have a Pegasus. It flies."


Everyone stared at Bellerophon and Pegasus in awe.


Anyways, King Lycia finally came up with his plan to get Bellerophon killed. Like Polydectes had tried with Perseus, he decided to off Bellerophon by having him fight a seemingly unbeatable beast. In this case it was the Chimaera, a giant, fire-breathing lion goat serpent.


It was the perfect plan. All who tried to kill it in melee were flambéed. All who tried to hit it with arrows were chased down and roasted. All who used pit traps learned that the goat part made the Chimaera a great climber, and it promptly introduced them to ancient Greek fire.


But King Lycia forgot one important thing. Unlike everyone else who had tried to kill the Chimaera, Bellerophon had Pegasus. The Chimaera couldn't fly.


So Bellerophon flew down to where the Chimaera lived, shot it with arrows from a safe distance off the ground, and called it a day. His return put King Lycia in such shock that he simply sent Bellerophon back to King Proteus.


Bellerophon returned on Pegasus, still completely oblivious that the two kings were trying to get him killed. King Proteus kept thinking up more elaborate ways to get Bellerophon killed. He sent him to go attack the Solymi, who were pretty good at fighting. Bellerophon won. He sent him against the Amazons, who were even better at fighting. Bellerophon won.


Finally King Proteus threw up his hands and decided that if you couldn't kill them, join them. He became good friends with Bellerophon (as opposed to pretending to be friends while plotting his death), and even gave his daughter to Bellerophon in marriage.


What's that? Yeah, women didn't get much say in that part back then.


But then Bellerophon's ego got too big for his body. He thought that he was more than a halfblood, and decided to fly up to Olympus to take his place among the gods. Maybe he'd heard of Dionysus and thought they were in the same boat. Unfortunately, Bellerophon wasn't Dionysus, and the gods were pretty ticked with him for having this ambition. Whether they bothered to tell him he was still half-human or not isn't clear. In any case, one day Bellerophon went up to Pegasus, climbed on his back, and gave a new destination.


"Alright Pegasus, today is the day. We're going to the home of the gods on Mount Olympus."


Pegasus nodded then WHOA WHOA HOLD THE WINGED HORSES! He shook his head frantically in denial.


Bellerophon frowned. "Come on, it's time for me to take my rightful place. Giddy up!"


But again Pegasus refused.


"What's wrong with you? It's time for us to go!" Bellerophon said, giving Pegasus a little kick for emphasis.


Pegasus had finally had enough. He didn't want to get Bellerophon killed, so he did the only thing he could. He threw Bellerophon off and left him.


You know how I mentioned earlier that Pegasus was the thing Bellerophon wanted most in the world? I wasn't kidding. Without Pegasus, Bellerophon was inconsolable. He just kind of wandered around ancient Greece for the rest of his life, perpetually avoiding everyone. He died alone.


The kicker to this story? Guess where Pegasus went next? That's right, Mount Olympus. While Bellerophon was only a halfblood, Pegasus was more. He wasn't exactly a god himself, but he was immortal at the very least. So he flew on up there and introduced his feathery self to none other than Zeus. The two got along great, or at least I assume so because whenever Zeus wanted to get his smite on, he had Pegasus bring him the thunderbolts.


And so ends the tale of Pegasus and his idiot boy Bellerophon. What, you wanted a happy story? Too bad, this isn't Perseus.



As Hector left the room, Rainbow stared at me intently. "I can't tell what is more humorous. The parts you got right or the parts you got wrong." She then turned around and trotted out.
 
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Chapter 17 - In Which Cross-Sibling Murder is Committed
Instead of a maid, the creature before me looked more like a vampire. You know, pale skin, red eyes, fangs, the whole package. But then somebody decided that there was a special going on and threw in a donkey leg, a bronze prosthetic leg, and flaming hair. So the image was pretty well ruined.

"Don't worry!" She said with a smile. "We won't make you play football, it's a dumb sport anyways. Instead, we're going to tear down Olympus and get our mother the respect she deserves!"

The steel-eyed girl and I locked eyes for a second, before we each went for our own weapons. I briefly saw Rainbow drop her normal guise and dissolve into smoke as I ran past her. As I grabbed my spear, I could vaguely hear Hector complaining that destroying mountains was boring.

The girl and I re-entered the room just after Hector introduced himself to the monster at the door. "My name's Deme! My mom named me after a good friend of hers. I'm an empousa!" Deme the empousa responded.

The term was vaguely familiar to me. To my knowledge empousa hadn't been seen outside of the Underworld in centuries. But I was more concerned with ensuring my ticket to gaining wealth and favors wasn't eaten, so I yanked Hector back by his collar and exited the room to confront Deme. Hector's sister followed me into the hallway, Custer's sword drawn.

"Oh!" Exclaimed Deme, clasping her hands together in excitement as she looked at me. "It's so good to see that he can get along with and is already making friends with monsters! You wouldn't believe some of the problems we've been having."

Then her eyes traveled to the steel-eyed girl and she took a sniff. "Hm. We're not really looking for the ability to play nice with mortals, but I guess it doesn't hurt to put it on the resume."

"You're not taking my brother anywhere!" Declared the steel-eyed girl.

"I have to agree. Leave." I demanded.

Deme looked between the two of us. She wasn't armed with anything more than her fangs, while we were both armed with weapons of celestial bronze. After a moment she focused on the weaker of the two of us, and advanced toward the steel-eyed girl.

"This shouldn't involve you, mortal." She leered.

"Stay away from Emily!" Hector cried as he waved his hand. The steel-eyed girl shimmered, and almost faded from view. She froze for a moment, before resuming her previous posture.

Huh, so that's what her name was.

This seemed to excite Deme even more. "Great job! Most children of the Dark Lady don't start learning how to do that until they are at least ten years old." She then paused and a frown came across her face. "You are younger than ten, right?"

"I'm nine!" Hector declared angrily.

"Well I can't have you helping her kill me. Don't worry, this won't hurt. I'll apologize to you later." Deme declared as she spread her arms wide.

It didn't take a genius to realize she was preparing to do something. Emily and I both moved to stop her, but in different ways. I moved back to guard my meal ticket, while Emily advanced forwards to meet the threat.

Then Deme changed, in a way that I recognized from Rainbow as dropping one skin in favor for another. Her inhuman attributes seemed to melt away in favor of more human looking ones. A minute later the very picture of a Hollywood femme fatale stood before us.

"Sleep." She commanded Hector with a smile.

"No!"

She paused. "Oh, forgot that didn't work until after puberty."

I resumed my advance towards her as Emily broke into a run. At this point Deme paused and seemed to evaluate her chances against the two of us. One unarmed empousa, versus a mortal wielding a celestial bronze sword and a spear-armed scythian dracanae. She decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and began to make a run for it.

That's when the smoke that made up Rainbow's natural form fell from the ceiling to meet yet more smoke rising from the ground, blocking Deme's path down the hallway. Now I knew that Rainbow was actually intangible in this form, but Deme certainly didn't. She skidded to a halt and turned around, just in time for a thrust from Custer's sword to enter her stomach.

"Oh…" Said Deme as she looked down at the sword. "I guess I'll see you all later." Then she collapsed into a pile of dust.

I breathed a sigh of relief. As Hector and Emily looked on in fascination, Rainbow began the process of recollecting herself and donning her usual guise. Wait, wasn't there something about Rainbow's form that I was supposed to tell her?

"Oh, before I forget. Rainbow, you and I need to discuss how anatomy works."

"Again?" She sighed.

"Yes. While I'm more familiar with human necks, neither humans nor equines can tilt their heads at right angles. When people talk about tilting their head, it's only a slight tilt, not breaking a pinball machine levels of tilt."

"Speaking of necks…" Spoke up Emily. "What's up with the markings on yours Rainbow?"

I glanced at the pegasus. How exactly do you break 'I was almost decapitated with the sword in your hand' to someone?

"I was almost decapitated with the sword in your hand." Rainbow answered. The girl dropped her sword in shock.

"Don't say it like that!" I protested.

"Then how should I say it?" Rainbow asked quizzically.

"'Oh, don't worry about it' or 'It's an old wound' or 'I'll tell you later'." I suggested.

"Should I be keeping the cause of my wound secret for some reason?"

"No, you just… need to be gentle about dropping that casually into conversation."

Emily looked at the sword on the ground like it might come to life and bite her. "Why did you give me this then? Is it cursed or something?"

Rainbow shook her head. "If there is one, it would only come into play if you attempted to betray us. It might grow more powerful over the following centuries, but that's nothing you need to concern yourself with."

Emily slowly, carefully, picked up her blade again. "By the way, did either of you know what the empousa meant when she said 'our mother?'"

"Oh that's easy." I replied. "Empousa are the kids of the creepy Greek magical cavewoman. Obviously she thinks Hector was her half-sibling. Considering your half-hearted stint into invisibility, I'm inclined to agree with her."

"Doris, please do not refer to Hecate as the magical cavewoman." Said Rainbow.

"So creepy is fine?"

She glared at me.

I honestly didn't think I would have this out today, but I had a blast writing Deme, so here you are.
 
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Chapter 18 - Kidnapped!
I'm not too happy with this chapter, but I'm very happy with the next chapter, which is the first from Rainbow's POV. I might come back and edit this later.

"So… what do the titans want with Hector?"

We were on the last leg of the bus to Mobile, Alabama. Emily sat next to me while Rainbow and Hector took the row ahead of us. Hector had spent most of the ride asleep, it seemed his magic trick had cost him most of his energy. His sister had hovered over him nervously for the first few hours, but by this leg of the trip had switched to sit next to me. I had wondered why she'd given up her spot next to her sibling. Now I knew why.

"Oh the usual." I replied. "Someone dumb enough to help free them from their prisons. They'd have a lot more success at recruitment if they weren't all trapped. Don't worry, they've been failing for millennia. Atlas may have succeeded in tricking Hercules for a short period, but if he did it didn't last long."

She didn't speak up again for the rest of the trip, and I let her brood. Sometimes you just needed to think. I didn't understand exactly what it meant to have family that you cared for, but I knew enough to realize she was worried for her sibling.

I felt a little envious.



We got off in Mobile, and headed to a mall food court to get dinner before heading to the hotel. The first thing that went wrong was when a clear sighted mortal caught a glimpse of me carrying the still-tired Hector inside. I could tell she was clear sighted because her head kept turning from my snake-legs to the boy on my back.

"What're you looking at?" I hissed at her. She bolted.

Everything went fine for a while. I ate delicious honey chicken, Emily ate a large sandwich, Hector ate some pizza in between passing out, and Rainbow ate our plastic silverware for some unfathomable reason.

The peace was broken when Rainbow suddenly stood up from her seat. "We're being watched. I'll join you later."

Then she shot out of the room. I stared after her, then shrugged and went back to my food. If Rainbow couldn't take care of it, nothing I could do would help.

I probably should have been on guard, because a minute later a unicorn galloped into the room. Everyone, even the mortals, stopped what they were doing and stared at the beautiful white equine. I had never seen a unicorn in my life. I had never expected to see a unicorn in my life. I honestly thought they didn't exist. Yet there was a unicorn standing in the room.

"Whose horse got loose?" Asked a random mortal.

Then the unicorn's head zeroed in on us, and it broke into a gallop. Emily and I stood up, readying our weapons for mortal combat with an actual mythical creature. But instead of going for either of us, it changed course at the last second and snatched up the still half-asleep Hector by the back of his shirt. It then cantered out of the room.

I stared after it in shock. Did Hector just get kidnapped by a unicorn? Why was this kid so popular? Did Hector really just get kidnapped by a unicorn? Man this kid's luck is worse than mine.

"Hector!"

Emily recovered first and bolted after her brother. I followed close behind, cursing at the lack of speed in my snake-legs. We burst out of the food court to find… an empty parking lot. Well it wasn't truly empty, it was full of cars and people, but there was no Hector and certainly no unicorn.

After another moment of looking around, I approached a man sitting by the door. "This is going to sound odd, but did you see a horse go by a moment ago?"

The man looked at me, frowned, and shook his head. Baffled, I turned back to Emily and shrugged.

Then a giant pterodactyl swooped down and grabbed Emily. As she screamed it carried her up and over the roof of the mall, then vanished.

I just stared after her for a moment before bolting back inside the mall, seeking shelter from extinct or imaginary creatures. As I searched for a hiding place, the screams of the mortals alerted me of the entrance of another creature.

I spun around and found myself face to stomach with a black bear on its hind legs. The beast roared, then slapped me away with its paw. I lost my grip on my spear as I skidded across one of the tables, knocking tray after tray of food onto the floor. When I came to a stop and looked back up, the bear was nowhere to be found.

But the unicorn was. It pawed the ground and lowered its head towards me. Realizing where this was going, I grabbed the only thing within reach to protect myself. As the unicorn charged, I bravely held up a food tray in defense, the pizza that was once on it falling on my lap.

The unicorn's horn erupted from the center of the tray before I was thrown backwards again, and impacted painfully with a trash can. As I wobbled to my feet I saw the unicorn comically swinging its head left and right, blinded by the tray lodged about an inch from its face. With it distracted, I ran past it and dove for my spear.

But when I turned back around, the unicorn was gone. My eyes scanned the food court, waiting for the next random creature to attack. But none came, and I was left alone in the food court with a spear and a tray with a hole in it. I left the tray and walked outside to wait.

I felt humiliated and confused. Not only had I lost my meal ticket and his sister, but it hadn't even been to a proper monster.

Half an hour later Rainbow showed up covered in sweat, blood, and dog slobber.
 
Chapter 19 - Be the Rainbow
As she left the cafeteria and the others behind, the daughter of Nyx cast her senses outwards. Her eighth sense, the one she tentatively identified as belonging to her power as a protogenos, was giving her more than the random gibberish it usually fed her. Someone was watching them.

Someone was watching them closely enough that they already knew she was coming. She sped up, rocketing out into the sky above before slamming to a halt. She peered down intently, examining the land below for the person she knew was readying to bolt. As her eyes scanned the trees surrounding the parking lot, she saw a brief flash, a reflection of light off of metal.

There!

Spawning three duplicates, she sent two of them to circle and approach the spot from behind, and sent the last one to monitor Doris and her… charges. Then she herself descended towards the spot where her prey lurked. She was there in seconds, crashing through leaves and branches to arrive in a small clearing. A man, no a demigod her sixth sense corrected, stared at her sudden appearance in shock. He recovered quickly, and shoved a metallic rectangle into his bag before slinging it onto his back.

"Who are you?" She demanded.

"That's unimportant." Deflected the man. "I'm just passing through."

She adjusted her facial muscles to mimic what she believed was a threatening glare. "I asked you a question."

The man sighed. "I go by Quintus. I apologize for prying into your business, I'll take my leave now."

Something didn't add up. "Wait." She called.

The man paused. She began to circle him, studying his form. She could feel that he was a demigod, but he certainly didn't smell like one. Her sense of smell in this form might not compare to that of Doris's, but it should be more than adequate enough to smell him at this distance. Yet all she could smell was a strange scent, similar to that of oil.

As she completed her circuit around him, he shifted uncomfortably. For a brief moment, a scar or birthmark of a sort was visible on his neck. She only caught a glimpse, but with her eyesight and memory, a glimpse was enough. Decades ago, back when she was less than a year old, her mother had told her the stories of the world. Those stories had included tales about the most brilliant of all of Athena's children, one who was branded for the murder he had committed. Doris would probably call him the 'Where's Waldo of ancient Greece', but most knew him as…

"Daedalus." She whispered. The man stiffened, which was confirmation enough for her. She felt something going wrong back in the mall from her duplicate, but ignored it. This prize was far more valuable.

"Do you have any idea just how high a bounty Hades has on your head?" She began casually.

"I don't suppose it would be vain of me to hazard quite a large amount?" He responded, drawing a sword.

"One could conceivably bring another back from the Underworld in exchange for your soul."

His eyes widened. "Truly?"

She honestly wasn't sure what Daedalus was worth to Hades, having only heard rumors on the subject. She threw her wings back in what she hoped approximated a shrug. "Why don't we ask Hades ourselves?"

Daedalus took up a fighting stance. "You must understand that you must force me to that meeting. I have been hunted for thousands of years, yet here I am alive today."

Her duplicates struck first. Daedalus sensed their approach somehow, whirling around to dispatch both of them with a single slash of his sword. No matter, they had accomplished their task and had covered her as she closed with her quarry. As Daedalus turned around to face her, she attacked. Her front hooves collided, one after the other, into his legs.

CLANG!

Or at least that had been her intention. Instead, her hooves had impacted with what felt like titanium. Shocked, she barely managed to duck under his retaliatory swipe and had to use her wings to throw herself back from the follow-up kick.

Flying back a few yards, she regarded her prey with a new interest. Daedalus had never been noted for his durability, yet those kicks should have shattered the bones in his legs.

"I am not defenseless." Her opponent noted.

"Perhaps." She replied softly. While she had no doubt that she was physically stronger than him, none of her familiar forms were ideal for grappling. She also had to be wary of his sword, she had no desire for him to finish what the telekhine had begun.

She cursed that beast once more. She was young and malleable enough for a wound that serious to become a permanent weakness. She needed to be careful to not let on that it persisted as anything more than a scar.

She decided on using her speed and physical strength to keep him off balance. Separate him from his sword, then wear him down through repeated strikes until she could drag his sorry carcass to the Underworld.

She burst forward again, leaping into the air to strike at his face. He sidestepped to avoid her and raised his sword to intercept, threatening to impale her soft underbelly. It was a good tactical move against an opponent who could fly.

Of course, most couldn't fly as fast as she could. Likely nothing could, except perhaps Pegasus himself. A short flap of her wings brought her trajectory even higher, over his weapon. This was followed by a hard flap that brought her forward motion to a halt and forced her back down, into position. She kicked backwards.

With another loud clang, her hooves again collided with what felt like solid metal. This time however, it was his sword that was struck. But instead of the sword flying from his hand, like she had expected, it snapped.

Daedalus responded by bashing his head into her body, and then leaping back. She allowed him to, and slowly drifted back to the ground again.

"How are you doing that?" She asked him. She wasn't anywhere near an expert on the body, and strength like that could be useful if she could replicate it.

Unfortunately for her curiosity, Daedalus seemed to have finally comprehended the situation he was in. He simply watched her in silence, completely unmoving. This in and of itself was interesting. She still was a novice at imitating human postures and expressions, but had observed enough to know that people were always moving. Even when they held still, they were never that still.

She idly noted that her remaining duplicate nearby had identified a hellhound heading this way. She decided against acting on this information. Whether Hades or her mother had decided to provide her a little extra muscle was immaterial.

While her opponent still had about a third of a sword more than she would have liked, she decided it was time to begin wearing him down. She rushed forward for a third time, and unlike the others immediately followed it up.

Blows rained down on the demigod, much faster than he could avoid. Whenever he struck or blocked with his sword, she simply shifted around it to strike at other places. He did get in a few blows, a punch here and a kick there, but nothing more serious than a shallow slash from the remnants of his sword.

She felt the hellhound enter the general vicinity and backed off. Daedalus was now panting, and one of his arms slightly bent. She waited for the beast to strike, hoping to take advantage of its-

Pain.

Jaws bigger than her current form clamped down on her, and she cried out in shock. She was lifted up off of the ground and shaken from side to side, disorientating her. Finally, she was thrown off to the side where her body impacted with a tree trunk.

As she struggled to her hooves, she saw Daedalus getting onto the back of the traitorous hellhound before the two of them disappeared into the shadows.

Shadow Travel. Heh, her mother was Night and her siblings included hellhounds. This wouldn't pose a problem.

She leaped into the shadows to follow them, intent on revenge. The cries of her duplicate back at the mall could wait, she couldn't let that beast get away with using her as a chew toy!

But when she emerged from the darkness (in the middle of a highway amongst the mountains), her prey were nowhere in sight. She paused for a moment, checking her location. Andorra. She cursed as she noted that she had gone an ocean too far, and dove back into the shadows.

As the scenery changed again, she caught sight of her prey looking at her in surprise from within a dark tunnel. She charged down after them, and almost succeeded in delivering a solid kick to the hellhound before they once more vanished into the shadows.

She finally noted what her duplicate at the mall had to say, and paused for a moment. Go after her prey and avenge her injuries, or go back and assist Doris. The decision only took a second.

She managed to emerge from the shadows at her correct destination in Colorado, but her prey was already leaping into the shadows again. She once again dove after them, and arrived in the middle of Times Square. She frowned, dove, and ended up in… Mexico she thought. Then Slovenia, then Portugal, then the Kremlin, and after a dozen more trips she finally found herself in another tunnel where her prey had exited.

Of course by now they had a good five minute head start. She followed after them anyways, but soon realized that it was a fool's errand. She was in a maze of sorts, and could not detect either of her prey's presence anywhere near her. In all likelihood they had traveled once more through the shadows while she was not present.

She stamped her hooves in frustration. She had been so close! But now it was highly unlikely she could even find where they pair had entered the shadows, much less their exit. After a further moment of deliberation, she eventually abandoned her pursuit and traveled back to assist Doris.

… And wound up in Tahiti. She frowned and tried again. Ecuador was closer, but still off by a good amount. Another jump landed her in Albany, New York. By this point her head was beginning to pound from so many trips through the shadows, so she simply stretched her wings and aimed in the direction she hoped was Mobile, and began to fly at top speed. Between flying and navigating manually, it might take a while. Probably not, but possibly.

In retrospect, it would have been better to abandon her chase to assist her ally. She would have to remember that in the future.

Woo! I finally managed to shove in Daedalus somewhere. He's such an interesting character, you'd think the mad-scientist-roboman would feature more in fanfiction, but whatever. Also, Rainbow's assumptions came back to bite her in the everything in the form of Best Dog.
These last two chapters will be tied up in the next one.
 
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Chapter 20 - I Chat with a Kidnapper
Upon a second look, it appears that this character does merit a passing mention in PJ's Greek Gods with a slightly different story. However, as I've said before I don't count that book as canon for anything other than characterization due to its blatant disregard for important, title relevant canon.

Also, I know that pterodactyls aren't actually dinosaurs, but Doris doesn't.


"What happened to you?" I asked. Rainbow wasn't sporting injuries anywhere near as bad as the ones she'd had at my apartment (both times), but injuring something on her level was no small feat.

She paused for a moment, seeming to search for the right words. "I mistook one of my siblings for an ally. It's been dealt with. Where are the children?"

I waved my hands towards the sky. "They went that a way. I kind of gave up getting them back on my own when the pterodactyl showed up."

Rainbow glanced at the sky for a moment. "Are you capable of tracking them?"

I snorted. "Maybe if I could fly." Then I thought for a moment. "Maybe if you were your original size then I could ride-"

"No." Rainbow interrupted flatly.

I shrugged. "Have any other ideas?"

Rainbow went quiet for a moment, studying me intently. "Maybe."



I was going to die.

"Doris."

I was going to die.

I was going to die and it was all Rainbow's fault.

"Doris!"

Her fault her fault her fault her –

"Doris, we're hovering only two feet off of the ground. Get ahold of yourself."

Since riding on her back was apparently too demeaning for Rainbow, we had to do it a different way. And by different, I mean Rainbow had changed her hooves into hands and was physically carrying me beneath her. I haven't ever been afraid of heights or flying before, but I sure was now.

I took a few deep breaths and centered myself. Right, remember that there's a fat sack of cash at the end of this. Yeah, that and my own halfblood minion.

"Okay, I think I'm ready." I called after I pulled myself out of my daydreams.

The ground slowly fell away beneath us. I froze, but after a second managed to pull out of it. Rainbow dutifully carried me to the spot I'd last seen the girl and proceeded to hover in place. How she managed to do that without flapping her wings as fast as a hummingbird is something I didn't want to think about.

I sniffed the air. My suspicions were confirmed when in addition to the really faint scent I associated with Emily, I also caught a whiff of her brother's much more pungent aroma. There was also a third scent that belonged to the kidnapper, but it was odd. It wasn't anything bird or reptile related like I had expected from a pre-historic dinosaur, but instead was distinctly feminine. It also had an undercurrent that absolutely reeked of death. Then again, it was so faint I might have simply smelled it wrong.

I pointed off to the northwest. "I think the trail leads in that direction."



The search wasn't easy. Half of the time the trail had fallen to the ground, and the other half it had almost completely dispersed into the wind. Five times we lost track of them for at least ten minutes, and we had also searched three buildings where I had mistakenly thought the trail had ended.

It was well into the early morning hours when the trail ended on a hotel balcony. As Rainbow dropped me in front of the door and landed next to me, I could hear arguing from within.

"I don't care what lies she told you! Repeating the same story over and over again doesn't make it true." Came the voice of an exasperated woman.

"But it's true!" Yelled Emily.

I'd heard enough. I threw open the balcony door and strode into the bedroom. Hector and Emily were both present, tied to each other on one bed. To my surprise the clear sighted mortal from dinner was there as well, facing us with her jaw dropped.

The question of where all the creatures were was answered when the woman recovered and stood up. Her skin flowed, changing her into a him. It wasn't anything like when Rainbow changed forms. When my feathered friend did it, the changes spread out from one spot to encompass her entire body. When this human did it, it was almost instantaneous. One moment she was a lithe woman I'd mistaken for a normal mortal, and the next she was a he who could bench press a truck.

Now I was tired. I'd spent all day on a bus, and spent half of the night dangling from Rainbow over Alabama. I was grumpy, angry, and did I mention tired? So when I spoke up, intending to say something threatening, what came out was:

"Did you know your scent has a strong undercurrent of death? It really helped to track you down. Oh, and we'll be taking the children back."

(S)He stood before us, fists raised. "If you want to harm these children, you'll have to go through Hercules to get them."

"You are not Hercules." Rainbow stated flatly.

"In physical strength I might as well be." (S)He said.

We paused for a moment, waiting to see who would strike first. I raised my spear, Rainbow flared her wings out, and the Hercules imposter took up a fighting stance. But before any of us could strike, Hector interrupted.

"Miss Doris is a nice snake lady!" He cried. "Please don't fight her."

"She wants to eat you." Our opponent yelled back.

"No, she kept us from being eaten."

"That's just what she wants you to think!"

I spoke up. "I seriously don't want to eat him."

Our opponent snarled at me. "And why should I believe you?"

"I swear on the river Styx that we mean these children no harm." Rainbow replied softly.

Now for the uninformed, oaths sworn on the river Styx are the most serious promises an immortal can make. I don't know what it is about the river that makes it so important or so binding, but even Zeus typically follows through on oaths made on it.

Thunder rolled in the background. Our opponent's jaw dropped, and hands fell to his(er) side.

I frowned. "It wasn't cloudy five minutes ago."

"The sky is clear." Rainbow said absently.

Our opponent's form shifted back into the mortal woman. "Um, perhaps we got off on the wrong foot?" She said nervously.

I snorted. "I'm guessing you're the one who tried to gore me at dinner?"

Her cheeks turned pink. "Yes. You must understand, I've never seen a scythian dracanae do anything to help a demigod. Ever."

"We're paying them to help us free our father." Explained Emily.

The woman's mouth went into a wise 'O', and she seemed to look at me and Rainbow in a new light.

"Who are you anyways?" I asked.

"I'm Mestra. When I was alive, my father made the mistake of cutting down one of Demeter's sacred groves. In retaliation she cursed him to be eternally hungry, no matter how much he ate. He spent his entire fortune on food, until the only thing he had left was me. Eventually his hunger grew so great that he sold me as well. Poseidon took pity on me and gave me the ability to shapeshift, which I used to escape and return to my father. He used my ability to con people, and sold me time after time. It didn't save him though, and one day I returned to find him dead."

Cool, but that was thousands of years ago. "So how does this lead to you assaulting me in the food court?"

Come to think of it, what was with me and getting attacked at mall food courts? Was that going to become a running issue, like Rainbow's problems with getting injured in my apartment?

"I'm getting there. When I died, I found that my father's curse had followed him to the Underworld, where he had been assigned to the Fields of Punishment. I made a deal to get him into the Asphodel Fields, as Hades saw the utility in having a shapeshifter work for him. I typically handle tasks that don't require the attention of Alecto and her sisters, like prescreening for new arrivals and tracking down souls that accidentally wandered out of the Underworld.

I was investigating possible sightings of a soul that's been due for an appearance in the Underworld when I ran across you all instead. Hecate is a good friend of Persephone, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to help one of her kids out."

"What I don't get," grumbled Emily, "is why you continued to help out that jerk of a father even in death."

"He was my father. Why wouldn't I help him?" Mestra responded, sounding confused.

I winced. If Demeter had cursed my father, I'd probably have cheered her on.

"He sold you like cattle!" Emily cried.

A terrible expression came across Mestra's face. "You haven't seen the horrors never-ending hunger will do to a person. Have you ever been so hungry you swallowed gravel in the hope that it would clog and fill your stomach? Have you been hungry enough to feast on your own waste? Have you experience hunger pangs so strong you bit off your own fingers for sustenance? I chose to help my father commit what I thought was the lesser of two evils, buying him a moment of relief from a torture no one should ever suffer. For that to continue for all eternity? I could not stand that. You must understand something about the Underworld: all the dead within who are not in Elysium deserve nothing other than to be pitied."

For a moment, we stood in silence. Well, except for Emily and Hector, who sat in silence.

"So are you going to stop us from untying those two and leaving?" I asked.

Mestra glanced between Rainbow and I. "Since you have sworn on the river Styx, and because they seem to trust you, I'll allow it. I'll make sure to mention this run-in to Hecate, so don't try to pull anything funny."

And so a minute later, our party of four was reunited and unbound. We were so tired that we stayed in the same hotel as Mestra, despite all of us wanting to get away from the old hag. When we got to our rooms Hector didn't even pester me for another story, and instead passed out. Emily had to carry him to bed.

I followed his example and entered the realm of dreams not five minutes later.
 
Chapter 21 - Day at the Museum
We arrived in Pensacola the next day. Of course, as we had spent most of the night before either being kidnapped or chasing a kidnapper, we didn't really do much that day other than sleep.

I wanted to continue the trend the next day, much to Emily and Hector's protests. But to my surprise, Rainbow overruled me. So we went downstairs and picked up several pamphlets. You know, the pamphlets that every hotel has that advertise local attractions. We grabbed a few and headed out.

Our first stop was the National Naval Aviation Museum. Our bags were searched, but thanks to the Mist the mortals didn't bat an eye at my spear. Emily looked quite nervous with Custer's sword, but relaxed when one of the security guards complimented her on her 'umbrella'.

While the children ran off to look at the fighter aircraft (followed closely by Rainbow in her shadow-form), I drifted towards the flying boats. When I was a kid, I had always enjoyed watching the Catalina flying boats take off from the nearby naval base. Their ability to fly, despite looking like a plump pelican, fascinated me. For a short period I'd even wanted to be a pilot when I grew up.

That dream had crashed and burned when I told my parents about it.

But if the Catalinas were plump pelicans, then the aircraft before me was an exceedingly pregnant pelican. The plaque called it a Coronado, and I wondered what it would have looked like when it lifted off of the water.

I stood there for a while, lost in the memories of a naïve child.



Once I finished reminiscing, I went to go find the others. The kids had seemingly grown bored with the displays and had found some other children to hang out with. They looked so happy and carefree, mingling with others not even 48 hours after having been kidnapped. I briefly wondered if this was what Rainbow had meant about children being strong, and decided to ask her.

Of course, that was problematic as she was currently lurking on the aircraft hanging from the ceiling, shifting from wingtip to wingtip as she shadowed the kids. I managed to catch up with her at the Corsair II, where she was lurking inside the engine's air intake.

"It's like you're their parent, following them around like this." I commented. "You've even dropped into your spooky dream-shadow form."

Rainbow solidified in order to respond. "I am not acting like their parent."

"You are quite literally hovering around them. I think you'd make a great helicopter mom."

She glared at me.

"So I've been thinking." I began.

"Always a dangerous proposition." She said with a nod.

My jaw dropped. "Did you just make a joke?"

The expression on her muzzle was inscrutable. "Continue."

I raised an eyebrow at her, but did as she asked. "I was thinking about what you said a while back. Back when you asked if I could feel the power inside the kids. While I don't exactly feel it, I think I might understand what you meant."

She tilted her head. It was only to a 45 degree angle this time. Progress.

I continued speaking. "Their ability to recover from stressful situations is pretty remarkable."

"That was not exactly what I was referring to. If I were to try and put it into words, I would refer more towards their minds."

I thought for a moment, thinking back to those halcyon days when I watched the birds and planes take off. Back when my teachers were proclaiming that by the time I was an adult, anything would be possible for me. They pointed at the heavy inclusion of women in the ongoing war effort and the increasing role women were taking in politics, and said 'that could be you one day!'. Before I grew up and faced the real world, or alternatively, before my parents crushed those dreams, anything seemed possible.

"So maybe it's more that to a kid, pretty much anything is possible? You know, the sky's the limit and that sort of thing."

"That's much closer." Rainbow said, looking thoughtful. "I think the green space midget would have understood. He seemed to get it."

"The green space midget? Do you mean Yoda?" I asked incredulously. I'd certainly never caught her watching Star Wars, but who else could she mean?

Rainbow looked uncomfortable for a moment, before shaking her head.

We sat in silence for a while, watching as Hector and Emily puttered around and generally got to act like kids for the first time this week.

Eventually, Rainbow spoke up. "On a different note, Theoria."

"What?"

"Back at the police station last year, you asked me my name. When I'm in my… natural state, you may refer to me as Theoria."

On the one hand, this suddenly felt like a deep and meaningful moment. On the other hand, we had been sharing an apartment for over twelve months. It's about damn time she told me her name. So I settled for a brief nod, and allowed the pegasus to resume mothering watching the kids.

Nothing else of interest happened that day. The next morning though, I did notice that Rainbow was placing the feathers she'd pulled off while preening into her bags. This was unusual because she normally ate them for some unfathomable reason. I was tempted to ask her about this, but decided not to. We spent most of that day doing touristy things as well, but after dinner we all gathered together to plan our rescue attempt.



"Our cabin was 14A. I've marked it on the maps." Emily said, handing Rainbow and I each a brochure.

'Sail the seas like royalty of old! Board the Princess Andromeda!' The front exclaimed. I opened it to find a map of the ship's interior, complete with text blurbs and photographs highlighting important areas of the ship, which were all named to fit the Andromeda theme. You could sing karaoke in the Cassiopeia lounge, play bingo in the Perseus arcade, eat a buffet dinner at the Cepheus cafeteria, and view all kinds of fish at the Dictys aquarium. Even the ship security was affected, if you lost track of your kids you were encouraged to go alert the Hermes travel security service. True to Emily's word, there was a neat little pink star next to a cabin in the bow.

Emily pulled out her wallet and pulled out a picture of her, her Hector, and an older man with an impressive mustache. "Here's his picture so that you know what he looks like."

I passed it to Rainbow, who frowned intently at the image.

"Did you get a dog recently?" The pegasus asked.

"Uh, yes. What does Clifford have to do with any of this?" Emily responded.

"I'm just curious. How has he been lately?"

"He's doing fine. Growing a little faster than I expected, but nothing unusual."

"I'm going to ride Clifford one day!" Interrupted Hector.

Emily sighed. "Brother, we've been over this. Just because Clifford is big for a dog doesn't mean he'll become big enough for you to sit on. We don't want you to hurt him by accident."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Rainbow warned ominously.
 
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Chapter 22 - Into the Depths
We arrived at the ship's pier early in the morning, just after sunrise. The Princess Andromeda looked just like it had in the brochure, down to the figurehead on the front of the ship. Why anyone thought a chained and frightened woman made for a great figurehead, especially for a cruise ship, was beyond me. Mortals did the weirdest things. Thankfully, the pier and the boat's deck seemed to be deserted so we managed to get on the boarding ramp with a minimum of sneaking around and broken locks.

Our problems began when Rainbow absolutely refused to set foot aboard the cruise ship without assistance.

"You need to carry me." She said to Hector.

"What? But why?" He asked, eyes wide.

"If I were to trot, fly, or otherwise move myself across the threshold onto the Princess Andromeda, I will set off alarms. But halfbloods get to circumvent most rules, and the spells are not geared towards detecting them. You carrying me across is essentially a loophole."

"I'm not letting him set foot back on board that ship." Emily protested. "We've come this far, but this is where I put my foot down. I can't go back aboard the ship, and I'm not letting Hector go anywhere without me. Especially after these last few days."

Aww, she was so adorable when she tried to act like she was in charge. Luckily for her, I had absolutely no interest in babysitting a halfblood longer than was necessary. Our plan called for us to leave both of the kids here at the boarding ramp to await our return.

Rainbow shook her head. "He doesn't have to come with us, merely get me across the threshold."

Emily seemed to agonize over this, and I took charge. "Come on Hector, I'll help. You can go back to your sister once we're done."

Hector and I moved to pick up Rainbow, and I almost immediately threw out my back attempting to lift her.

"How much do you weigh?" I asked incredulously.

"You're really heavy." Hector agreed bluntly.

"Are you calling me fat?" Rainbow asked ominously.

I hesitated. "No, just dense. What are you even made of?"

"Primarily Gallium."

After a lot of straining, much grunting, and three breaks for rest, Rainbow was deposited on the decks of the cruise ship. And by deposited, I mean unceremoniously dropped on the deck. Hector scurried back to his relieved sister, and Rainbow and I found our way into the ship.



The first soul we came across was a member of the ship's crew. I almost immediately understood what Hector meant by them acting like broken robots.

"We're having a great time on the Princess Andromeda. The trivia game starts in six hours. We're having a great time…" The woman said in a daze. Her name tag identified her as Ana, of Slovenia.

I snapped my fingers in front of her face but got no response.

"It would be best for us to move on." Rainbow commented softly.

As we left the poor woman behind, something turned within me. How long has that woman been going through that routine? How long has it been since she was fully in control of herself? I was perfectly fine with using the Mist to mess with the perception of mortals, but this? What even was the point of it?



We came across a monster next. She was a telekhine, which brought up rather uncomfortable memories of Dogbreath. I turned to the side to see how Rainbow was taking the reminder and found myself alone.

"Man, that was one crazy day yesterday." The telekhine said as she joined me in my walk down the hall.

"Uh, yeah, totally." I hazarded. I really wasn't in the mood for shooting the breeze, but I also didn't want to arouse suspicions.

"I'm kind of glad Agrius and Oreius are gone. Oreius kept hitting on me in really awkward ways, and Agrius would make it worse by telling his brother to punish himself."

I nodded, pretending I knew what she was talking about.

"What did you think of the centaurs?"

"Uh, they have lots of legs." I said. I cursed myself for such a lame and vague statement, but the telekhine didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, their lower body is amazing. Almost as great as the upper body…"

This was very uncomfortable.

"And the way they just rode to the rescue of those halfbloods, it was such a knight in shining armor moment. Well, you know, if the knight was half drunk and his armor was a party hat."

"Halfbloods?" I asked before I could stop myself.

The telekhine looked at me strangely. "Yeah, you know, Luke's totally not-girlfriend and the son of the sea god. Did you sleep through the fight yesterday in Miami or something?"

There had been a son of Poseidon on board? "Yeah. Sorry, I was up all the night before."

The telekhine whistled. "You missed out. Want to hear about it over breakfast?"

Shaking my head, I slithered faster. "No, I'm headed elsewhere. Don't let me keep you."

The telekhine seemed saddened, but went in a different direction at the next intersection. A moment later Rainbow descended from… somewhere, and rejoined me.



As we neared the cabin indicated on our brochures, I wondered about both my recent conversation and Rainbow's inexplicable knowledge of what magical protections this ship had. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe these kinds of spells were actually pretty common, and maybe a fight between monsters, centaurs, and halfbloods the day before was just a random event. Maybe there was a perfectly innocent explanation for this.

But my gut told me otherwise. It all but screamed that she was hiding something from me, and I didn't like it one bit. Not only because my gut rarely screamed anything other than 'FOOD!', but also because I thought she trusted me. If not a lot, then at least enough to explain what we were getting into fully.

I needed to find out. "So you're familiar with this ship? You seem to know what magic is protecting it."

She bobbed her head up and down, not looking back at me.

"So what is the story behind this ship? Why is someone going to all the trouble of mind whammying these mortals?"

She froze for a second, before resuming her trot. "The Princess Andromeda is controlled primarily by monsters. It also has a very small complement of halfbloods who are working with them. They are led by Luke Castellan."

That name rang a bell. I wanted to say he was part of that whole Thalia incident that had happened years ago, but I wasn't sure. In any case though, this was very quickly becoming more than just a random sorcerer if you had halfbloods and monsters working together.

Sure, I might be working with a halfblood; that happened sometimes. Monsters and halfbloods entering into short-term alliances were nothing new, and usually ended badly. But for this to have been going on for at least several weeks, and to involve numerous monsters and several halfbloods? And for them to fight other halfbloods?

"Rainbow, what's going on here? You aren't telling me something."

"Cabin 14A." She said in response, pointing at a door just up ahead.

I glared at her, but then focused on our objective. I found the door unlocked and opened it to reveal a homely little cabin. There were three suitcases, two green and one pink. Clothing and possessions were strewn about, and a unicorn stuffed animal sat on one of the beds.

There was just one thing missing. Unfortunately, that thing was the sibling's dad.

"Well this is a problem."



Meanwhile, at the Hermes travel security office aboard the Princess Andromeda

"We're having a great time aboard the Princess Andromeda. Have you found my children yet? They seem to be missing." Asked a man in a daze.

The security officer looked back at him blankly. "We're having a great time searching for your kids aboard the Princess Andromeda. No, not yet."

We're finally here! I'm so pumped for this and the next two chapters. I wrote most of one of them almost a month ago, and have been waiting to post it with glee.

Oh, and before someone wonders what Hecate is doing about this, that's in the next chapter.
 
Chapter 23 - It is always Darkest...
"So… now what?" I asked Rainbow, totally lost as to what to do.

She stared ahead for a moment, presumably deep in thought. "I suppose you could try tracking him by scent. Of course, we could also go to the ship's bridge, where the spell keeping the mortals docile is projected from. We could interfere with the spell over the entire ship."

"How do you know that the spell is located at the bridge?" I prodded.

"I can feel it from here."

I didn't believe her. I wanted to believe her, but I didn't. "Let's try this Doris's way first. If my sniff-dar can't find him, then we'll resort to your spell-dar."

I took a deep sniff in. I immediately recognized both Emily and Hector's scents, though both were extremely faint. There were a few other faint scents, which I tentatively tagged as belonging to previous occupants or the cleaning crew. Then there was the strong scent of an adult male, tinged with the dullness I associated with mortals. Got him.

That was the easy part. The hard part was isolating which trail was the most recent and following it.



I didn't get the right trail the first time, and wound up in the buffet. Nor did I get it right the second time, where I nearly tripped into the pool. I was hoping that the third time would be the charm as I neared the security office. I turned a corner down an open-air promenade and walked headfirst into another scythian dracanae.

As I sat dazed on the floor, I saw Rainbow lurking on the ceiling in her Theoria form, like she had the past few times we'd come across monsters. I got up, and looked at the one who had knocked me over.

Huh, she looked a lot like my mother.

"Doris, is that you?"

No. Oh no. Oh no no no, it was her. Wait, do I really slur my S's like that?

"It is you! Come here and give your mother a hug!"

I stiffened as she slithered up and threw her arms around me.

"It's been far too long since I last saw you. Have you gotten over that ridiculous tantrum you threw last time? Oh, I'm sure you have, that must be why you're here. It's too bad your father isn't around to see you, that old lump is still reforming in tartarus. But no matter, we can still be a family without him."

She motored on and on and on, not giving me a chance to interrupt. When she stopped, it was only because she was sniffing me intently.

"Wait, is that the scent of a halfblood? And not any of the ones on this boat, this one is different."

A horrible feeling came over me.

"Don't try to hide it, momma's nose knows! Oh, and it's fresh too! Just where did you run across this scrumptious halfblood? We can make it a family meal."

I should have just lied and told her it was a new recruit, hoping that whatever this madhouse was doing included hiring more halfbloods. I could have also just told her I'd gotten into a fight earlier. But in that moment, my mind went back to when I had brought home an injured cat, and what my parents had forced me to do all those years ago.

I would not kill and eat Hector. I would never let either of my parents force me to do anything ever again.

"We are not eating Hector." I stated firmly.

My mother's smiling face stretched downwards into a terrifying sneer.

"Oh, still just as soft as ever? Well young lady, it looks like I'll have to step in for you father and toughen you up."

At those words I froze. My grip on my spear became ironclad. My teeth clenched. My eyes were probably twitching, but I couldn't see them to check.

"Now take me to where you found that halfblood and I'll take you through the motions to end that little cretin's life, and then we can-"

"No." I interrupted.

For the first time in my life, my mother stopped talking and listened to me.

"No?" She asked.

"No." I confirmed. "We will not be doing that. We will not be doing anything, as there is no we. There is just you and I, who are about to go our separate ways."

Her face turned an interesting shade of red. "You dare to talk back to me? You dare to try and cast me out of your life? Why I ought to discipline you!"

"Discipline me?" I screeched. "I'm a grown woman, and you're an old hag! There is nothing about discipline you can teach me."

SLAP!

I raised my hand up and felt my stinging cheek. Had she really just struck me?

"There's more where that came from."

I lowered my spear at her. My hands were shaking.

She twisted the spear out of my grip and then cracked it in half over her knee. Then she casually threw both halves out the open windows. I watched the celestial bronze tip splash into the sea below. I honestly hadn't expected my mother to throw away my most valuable possession ever again.

"You forgot who taught you everything you know about combat, didn't you? I think you need a little time-out."

My eyes widened, and I attempted to dodge backwards. But my mother was faster, she had always been faster. Her hands clamped around my throat and she began to choke me.

"When you get to tartarus, tell your father what you've done."

I struggled, but her grip was like iron. I saw Rainbow solidify into her usual form and approach my mother from behind, tilting her head at me questioningly.

I nodded, and managed to speak with a wheeze. "Rainbow… Please…"

She kicked, and dust fell all over me.



"Boss!" Cried a halfblood. "We just got an Iris message from the Dark Lady!"

Luke pinched his nose. He really needed to up his recruiting efforts and gain a more competent assistant. He couldn't get his current one to stop calling him that, and it was hard to run a rebellion against the gods and be taken seriously when people called him boss. It made it sound like he was running a restaurant or something.

"What does she want?" He asked.

The halfblood shook his head. "She just wanted to pass on some information. Apparently one of her kids was heading this way. He's not one of the ones we've marked for potential recruitment, but she said you'd be personally interested in who he's traveling with."

Luke waited for the halfblood to continue, and silence reigned for a moment. Sighing, Luke prompted his absent-minded assistant. "And who is he traveling with?"

That was not at all how I intended this chapter to go. I wanted a confrontation between Doris and her mother, sort of a scene where she formally broke ties with being a monster doing monster things. But then I put the two characters in a room together and one almost immediately tried to kill the other. I'm… not really sure how it happened, and I might go back and change it. It just sort of spilled out onto the page. I did not intend it to get this dark, I promise. You can tell that from the ending scene being much happier, I wrote it first. In recompense, I'll try and get the next chapter out ASAP, it's much happier. It does have some sadness, but in the nostalgia type rather than the implied child abuse and attempted murder kind.
 
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Chapter 24 - ... Before the Light
I sat on the ground, panting for air. Little bits of the sand that were once my mother were inhaled, which was doubly gross.

"Thanks." I whispered to my friend.

She nodded, and sat quietly next to me. I felt a wing resting against my back as I shivered in a pile of sadness.

My mother had always known how to ruin my day.

We sat that way for a few minutes. Once I'd finally managed to collect myself into something resembling a functional person, I got to my feet.

"I think I've had enough of Doris's way for now. How do we reach the bridge?"

We studied the brochure map for a moment, and then set off.



Not five minutes later, Rainbow stiffened. "My presence has been discovered. We must move quickly."

Her hooves changed into hands.

"Rainbow no." I said, backing away.

"Yes." She replied as she grabbed me and took off.

If my prior experience flying through Mobile had been trying, then this was excruciating. We rocketed through the halls at a speed no pegasus or monster was ever meant to fly, always a hairs breadth from slamming into a wall or other solid object. I screamed my head off and buried my face in my hands.

But thankfully my flight from Greek hell ended soon, and I found myself released to the sweet mercies of the ground. I lovingly embraced the carpet, and whispered that I would never leave it again.

"I cannot open the door myself. Something is preventing me." Rainbow said.

Oh. I stopped moping and stood up, finding myself halfway across the ship and several stories higher than where I'd begun my flight. We were just outside the ship's bridge, if the label next to the door was anything to go by.

Trying the door handle myself, I found it unlocked. Frowning at my friend, I pushed it open. Rainbow swiftly entered the room and I followed.

While most of the ship had looked normal, this room was anything but that. Strange carvings in a script I was unfamiliar with lined every inch of the floor, walls, and ceiling, even some of the electronics. Computer screens covered with flickering symbols sat right next to radar screens with their familiar green lines. A large window at one side of the room gave a spectacular view of Pensacola.

In a chair at the center of the room sat a man in a captain's outfit. He was muttering very fast to himself. I drew closer and listened in.

"We're having a great time on the Princess Andromeda. We're having a great…"

I backed away.

"This writing is ancient." Rainbow commented.

"Older than you?" I teased.

To my surprise, Rainbow nodded. "Yes, older than me by far. But it's not older than my mother, who taught me most of what I know. I think I can decipher it, given enough time."

Unfortunately, time was one thing we didn't have in large amounts. Deciding to make myself useful, I began to move furniture and other items to block the door.

As the minutes ticked by, I began to sweat. Rainbow periodically moved around the room, laser focused on different carvings. The captain continued to mutter and stare ahead blankly. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Rainbow nodded to herself and looked up to me.

"The ship's mortal passengers and crew are bound in a trance-like state while aboard. They are further required to obey orders from those in command. I assume Castellan is the one in charge."

A look came over her face, and for the first time ever I saw Rainbow look worried. "Doris, I don't know any of the magic that's necessary to undo this."

No! We'd come so far, we couldn't fail now.

"Doris, you need to leave."

"Wait a moment, I want to try something." I said.

I walked to where the captain sat muttering to himself. "Hey, stand up." I ordered him.

Nothing happened.

"Doris, time's running out!" Rainbow said, starting to sound panicked.

"Just let me try this one thing." I responded, then turned back to the captain. I was betting that this Castellan kid had better things to do than direct a bunch of enthralled mortals all day…

I spoke. "Luke Castellan sent me to tell you something."

The captain's eyes instantly fixed themselves on me. I gave a fist pump in victory as I enacted my plan.



Throughout the Princess Andromeda, the intercom system sprung to life.

"Now repeat after me." The captain's voice echoed throughout the ship.

"No, not that, ugh, let's start over. Passengers and crew of the Princess Andromeda, this is your captain speaking. Now I know we've all been having a great time on the Princess Andromeda, but unfortunately a situation has come up. On the direct request of Luke Castellan, I need all passengers and crew to disembark immediately. All monsters and halfbloods are required to gather on the poop deck for an emergency meeting. Thank you, and have a pleasant day."

One halfblood turned to Luke. "Where's the poop deck? I don't want to be late to the meeting."

Luke growled in frustration. "There is no meeting on the poop deck you fool! The intruder is on the bridge."



"The poop deck?" Rainbow asked.

I shrugged. "I just know it's part of a ship, and I figured it'd be best to give them something to do to distract them."

I turned back to the captain. After I'd ended the ship-wide message he'd tried to exit the bridge, only to sit down again once he realized all exits from the room were blocked. "How do we get him off?"

"We don't. We're out of time." Rainbow's voice said from behind me.

I turned around to see a duplicate of Rainbow shatter the window with a mighty kick before leaping out through the hole. Before I could do anything else, a pair of strong hooves grabbed me from behind and defenestrated me.

I cursed as I spun through the air for a second, before a sharp pain signaled that I'd been caught out of the air by Rainbow's double.



Back on the bridge, Theoria watched as Doris was taken to safety. Satisfied that the small sliver of herself would accomplish the task, she set about preparing for her meeting.

Doris's blockade at the door was a nice thought, but ultimately unnecessary. After she finished moving the last piece of furniture back into place, she positioned the captain in the far corner. After one last look around, she nodded in satisfaction and turned herself to face the door.

Her form wavered and her more natural shadowy form replaced the more recent… outfit of Rainbow. While Doris would recognize both forms, Castellan had only seen the first.

Not five seconds later the door flew open. Theoria mentally congratulated herself on her timing as Castellan entered the room, flanked by two other demigods and with a retinue of monsters behind him.

"You." He whispered. While Doris would have said something pithy like "Me!", Theoria merely nodded, then shifted back into Rainbow.

Whatever Castellan was about to say next never left his mouth. Instead, he visibly restrained himself, and a smirk came across his face. "I should be thanking you. You ruined my one chance, driving me onto my current path. You made me what I am today."

She shuddered.

"It was never my intention to cause you to fail. I was blown off course." She replied.

"Uh, what's going on?" Asked one of the other halfbloods.

Theoria ignored them as unimportant, but Castellan didn't. "Why this is one of Night's spawn, a young protogenos. Her mother, in her infinite wisdom, had her join the Oneiroi, who among other things deliver demigod dreams. As the new, shining star of Night, she got some of the most important jobs. It all ended when she was charged with delivering a demigod dream to a halfblood on a quest to steal a golden apple from the garden of the Hesperides."

The other halfblood still looked confused. "But I thought you went on that quest? Didn't you fail?"

Castellan's smirk turned brittle for a moment. "Why yes. The pegasus over there got 'blown off course' through the gate of lies, and my quest ended in failure."

Then he turned to face her again, and his smirk widened. "Why are you really here? It's not for the mortals, we both know that your kind doesn't care enough to go this far to help them."

While Theoria bristled at the accusation, it was completely true. If it hadn't been for Emily and Hector, Doris would have never come in the first place. If Theoria hadn't planned this meeting, she wouldn't have joined Doris in coming. While it was… preferable that the mortals escaped, they weren't her highest priority.

"I… I…" She began, before biting the bullet. She had come this far, she could say two little words. "I'm sorry."

Castellan paused. "You're… sorry?"

"Yes." She nodded.

Castellan's smirk turned into a leer. "Do you honestly think that'll change anything? That one simple apology can offset all the crimes you and the others commit?"

Theoria took a step back as Castellan gained steam. "I'm sorry doesn't' remove this scar from my face. I'm sorry doesn't excuse the mess the gods leave us in. I'm sorry doesn't excuse the overcrowding of Cabin 11. Why do you even bother to say it?" He asked.

"Because at this point, it's all I can say or do." She answered honestly.

Castellan's visage darkened. "I'm sorry isn't good enough. I'm sorry is all your kind ever has in response to their actions hurting us, if even that."

Something deep, something old swept into the room.

"You say I'm sorry? Well I say you will be! I curse you to know failure like I did! To be sure in your success, but be brought down by your own overconfidence."

This demigod, no matter how powerful, couldn't possibly curse her. It wasn't possible, humans and halfbloods was incapable of doing that to something like her without help.

But it seemed as if her presence here was only making things worse. As she fled from the room to rejoin Doris and the children, Theoria tried to convince herself that coming here hadn't been a mistake all along.



Luke Castellan turned back from the new hole in the window. His entourage was staring at him with fear and awe. "What are you looking at?" He snarled.

"You." The ship's captain responded from the corner.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Luke roared. His followers quickly scattered, and the captain trooped out after them.

He would be the last mortal to leave the Princess Andromeda.


Doris finally got defenestrated. I've been pushing that back since... I think it was originally set to occur in chapter two.

Also, we finally got to the big plot! The reason why Hermes didn't played nice with Rainbow in the first chapter is explained! Exposition! Back story! Minor bits of canon! Woo!

For anyone who is confused, in canon Hermes tried to repair his relationship with Luke by sending him on a quest to steal one of the golden apples. It... didn't go so well when Luke ran into the dragon guarding them, and all quests from Camp Half-Blood were put on hold in the aftermath.

In this story, Rainbow getting blown off-course and going through the gate of lies while carrying a demigod dream to Luke (a dream carefully crafted by Morpheus himself) is typically blamed for his failure to get past the dragon. It also shot down her having any further career in the dream business, and made her a laughing stock.
 
Epilogue for the Curse of the Princess Andromeda
Surprisingly enough, apart from a short wait on the pier for Rainbow to rejoin us, the evacuation of the Princess Andromeda went off without a hitch. Hector and Emily managed to point out their father from the crowd, and there was a tearful and sappy reunion.

There was just one problem.

"What do you mean you aren't rich?"

The sibling's father stroked his amazing mustache. "Well, exactly that. I am essentially a handyman, the money is good but not that good. I will reward you, it'll just have to wait for me to convert some assets into cash."

"Rainbow! She lied to us! They aren't rich!" I said, spinning around to face my friend.

Rainbow's wing paused in the middle of patting Hector's head, and she turned to face his sister. "Do you intend to cheat us of our payment?"

Emily scowled. "Of course not! It'll just take a little bit longer for you to get your payment. I only lied because it was the only way to get you to help us."

Rainbow resumed patting Hector's head.

Ugh. "Doesn't anyone care that she lied to us?"

"Oh, I certainly care." Emily's father spoke up. "We're going to have a long chat about honesty."

Emily groaned. "But it was for a good cause! I swear!"

"Don't take that tone with me young lady! You can't just excuse your actions because you have a noble goal in mind."



Apparently I'd run into Emily and Hector last year while they were visiting extended family, as they lived on the outskirts of New York City. Emily and her father had returned there, after depositing Hector back at Camp Half-Blood with the promise to never leave camp again without permission.

Rainbow and I arrived back at my apartment four days after leaving Pensacola, notably without the riches I was promised. Sure, Mr. Kimbrell had promised to bring by a monthly installment, but it just wasn't the same as walking in the door with a sack of cash over my back. Hector did owe me a favor as well, but that was something to cash in on in the future once he actually knew what he was doing with his powers.

I had gained a halfblood minion, had a run-in with my mother, was going to receive thousands of dollars in cash (eventually), and had lost my weapon as well as a favor with Rainbow (due to her saving my life). On the whole, the adventure was… not as productive as I'd intended. But that's just how life works. Sometimes you get an immortal roommate who makes your apartment one of the safest spots in the city, sometimes your family tries to kill you.

But there was one thing I still needed to know.



"Rainbow, that business you had in Florida was definitely aboard the Princess Andromeda, wasn't it?"

Rainbow didn't turn her head from the television. "What led you to believe that?"

"Other than chasing our stalker, you never went anywhere without us the entire time, except for a short period on board that ship. You know, after you defenestrated me."

I was still mad about that. She should have at least warned me beforehand.

The television clicked off, and her muzzle turned to face me, expression blank. "What else have you determined?"

"You were totally talking with someone aboard that boat, probably a halfblood. My bet is on it being that Castellan kid, he's the only one you mentioned by name."

She nodded. "You are correct. He and I had had interactions in the past, and I had wished to clear up a misunderstanding between us."

I wasn't letting her get away with that. "You're doing that thing where you understate what happened, aren't you? What'd he do?"

"He… may have attempted to put a curse on me. He's just a demigod though, he doesn't have the power to place a curse on something like me without significant help."

"Don't underestimate halfbloods." I warned. "That's like the first mistake of every ancient Greek villain."

Then there was silence. I debated reaching for the remote and attempting to watch cartoons when Rainbow resumed speaking.

"While the debt between us was partially settled, I would like to settle accounts fully."

I sighed. "If it bothers you so much you can just get me a new spear and we'll call it even."

"… Are you not worried that I will depart if there is no debt between us?"

"I didn't mean to hold you hostage or something! I just wanted to make sure that when the going got tough, you wouldn't bail. And when the going got tough on the Princess Andromeda, you didn't bail on me. Friends don't have to live in the same home, most don't. As long as you stay in touch it doesn't matter where you go. We'll still be friends."

We sat in silence again.

"Doris? There's some things I'd like to tell you."

And so she told me of the ongoing titan rebellion. Of her small role in a halfblood's quest several years ago, one that failed miserably. Of her chat with Hermes that had ended with her crashing into my apartment. But…

"There's still something else you're not telling me."

She nodded. "It's personal. Just as you do not wish to discuss your parents, I do not want to talk about this."

I shivered, and backed off. Some things you just didn't want to talk about, or if you did you wanted to talk about them on your own time. I had already figuratively faced those demons years ago, and just last week in a literal sense.



"George! I'm so glad you're back, your dog's all but eaten me out of house and home!"

George Kimbrell sighed. His life had enough upsets in it recently, he really didn't need any issues to have cropped up with the family pet while he was gone. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, but I swear it looks like your pup has grown almost a foot while you were gone. Hey Clifford! Guess who's here?"

A deep woof! thundered through the building. It was soon followed by the scrambling of paws and claws, and a dog almost the size of a small pony burst forth and tackled George to the ground. It then proceeded to attack his face with its tongue.

"Alright, alright, I'm happy to see you too. My you've grown, Anton wasn't kidding."

Arc 2 done! So, what'd you think?

There's a big hole in my outline for the next arc. I think, I'll have to double check. Point is, unless I switch arcs 3 and 4 there's going to be a bit of a delay while I figure out what's actually going to happen next. In the meantime I'll probably pump out some more sidestories and Doris's bedtime stories, both to keep my hands busy and because I already have a bunch of ideas for those.

Edit: shoutout to Pinklestia on SB for the part about the weapon.
 
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Rainbow the Blacksmith
Convincing a cyclops to let her use his tools and workshop was actually quite easy. He just made her promise not to damage any of it. Theoria felt grateful, and decided she might even leave him a feather in thanks.

The celestial bronze, on the other hand, was a pain in the rear to get her hooves on. Her first thought had been to go beg a weapon off of her sisters, the Keres. But then she thought that Doris might not want a weapon that had been acquired through someone's violent death, and the Keres were always… unpleasant to be around in any case. They were far too obsessed with death for it to be healthy.

So instead she'd gone to her half-sister, Philotes. Among other things, Philotes was the personification of friendship. Theoria figured that she might be willing to help source materials for a gift for a friend, or would at least not laugh in her face for asking.

Philotes was… eager to help. Too eager, to the point of making it uncomfortable to be around her. Especially with the innuendoes. So many innuendoes. Eventually Theoria had gotten fed up with them and quickly, but politely, excused herself from her sister's presence.

Now she was all set up to make Doris a spear. She got a flame roaring in the furnace, gathered all the scraps of celestial bronze that would be melted into the spear, and waited patiently for the fire to heat up. Then she frowned.

Now what?



She critically examined the formless hunk of metal that would become the spear tip, which currently glowed softly with from the heat within. At this temperature it was malleable enough to work with. Well, she hoped it was malleable enough, she hadn't done this before.

She raised a hoof into the air, and then brought it down forcefully onto the metal.

Clang!

But instead of flattening part of it like she'd expected, the metal piece shot off like a cannonball. It collided with the far wall with a dull thunk, and then clattered to the ground. Theoria looked back to her hoof, and frowned. She probably should have secured the metal before she struck it.



She once again examined the glowing piece of metal. Unlike before, it was carefully cradled by her hind legs into position for the main strike. Once again she raised her hoof high into the air, and then brought it down hard.

Clang!

She raised the now wafer-thin piece of metal up to her eyes. It was completely unsuitable for anything, other than perhaps a pancake substitute. She almost nibbled on it to check the taste, but stopped herself. This was a gift, not a snack.

Now had the metal been too hot and soft or her strike too hard?



Finally having wrangled the metal into something resembling a spear tip, she put the glowing-hot piece down so that she could work on the shaft. She would come back and put some finishing touches on it later, all it would need was a little heat.



Making the shaft was not any easier. She had to keep it straight, keep it round, and keep it in one piece. What she finally ended up with was noticeably bent, but that could be stomped out later. It was time to join the tip to the shaft.

But there was a problem. Namely that since she had put the tip down, gravity had bent it out of shape and it now resembled… well a limp noodle was a delicate way of putting it.

Was she supposed to have dunked it in water, or was that just for swords? Did she heat it up too much? Did she stop working the metal too soon? Were the scraps she was working with of poor quality? Was that Philotes giggling in the background?



The cyclops was oddly amiable to the idea of assisting her. It seemed like he had been expecting this all along.

"You at least seem to have had a vague idea of what you were doing. This is a personal piece, or a gift, am I right?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, everyone always wants a personal touch on things like that. Tell you what, I saw what you could do with those bare hooves, I'll let you hammer the tip once or twice. Of course I'll still touch it up afterwards, but this way you can legitimately say you had a hand, er, hoof in its construction."



"Alright, now hit it with all your might."

She raised an eyebrow one inch. "Are you sure that is wise?"

The cyclops waved off her concern. "This is celestial bronze, it can take it. Besides, I'll be holding it still."

She reluctantly complied, and brought a hoof down at full force.

Boom!

The metal object exploded, showering the room in shrapnel. Thankfully the two of them escaped with nothing worse than minor injuries, but it had been a narrow thing. She lightly rubbed a new scratch along her neck and shivered.

"Alright, we'll tone it down on the next try." Said the cyclops.



Theoria smiled as she laid the gift in front of Doris.

"This is great! I was kind of getting worried without a weapon once I realized that I gave Custer's sword to Emily to keep, not as a loaner. Poor wording on my part, I kind of liked having that thing around."

There was a funny feeling inside her chest. She decided she liked it.

"There's just one thing."

Her face fell. What was wrong with it? She was sure that with the assistance of the cyclops that the weapon had turned out perfectly.

"You do know that there is a piece of celestial bronze melted into your mane, right?"

Damn it!
 
Meanwhile at Camp Half-Blood
The thing Hector liked most about camp was that there were other halfbloods there.

"There's no way a scythian dracanae helped you rescue your dad!"

The thing Hector disliked most about camp was that there were other halfbloods there.

"Yeah, the last one I ran into went on about how she was going to turn me into a soup. She said I'd be a mean French Onion."

Sure, he finally got to practice sword-fighting, something his sister had absolutely refused to do with him. Sure there were other kids who could relate with some of his frustrations, especially towards reading. He also finally had an audience larger than three for his magic tricks.

"I won't believe it until I see proof."

But then there were the downsides. It turns out that turning someone only half-invisible wasn't all that great. The Ares kids could still easily see he was there and gave him the swirly they'd promised him when he'd first arrived. Plus, there was an Athena kid who had a hat that could do it better and with a lot less effort.

"Yeah, we want proof!"

That and they didn't believe him when he told his story of how he'd helped rescue his dad from that dumb cruise ship. Oh, they definitely believed he'd run away and had an adventure that had resulted in his dad being freed from the ship, they just thought he was embellishing it. They didn't believe that his mortal sister had killed an empousa, they didn't believe that he got kidnapped by a unicorn, and they didn't believe that a pegasus could be the size he'd described Rainbow as being.

"Proof! Proof! Proof! Proof!"

They really didn't believe that Doris would help him out. Some told him it was dangerous to think that he could trust a monster, and warned him that it could easily lead to him getting hurt. Others just smiled and nodded when he mentioned her, in the same way adults did when they totally didn't believe a word out of his mouth. He hated that.

"Well, there's always Iris-messaging. Anybody willing to waste a drachma on this kid's story?"

They also hadn't believed him when he describe what Rainbow was. They laughed off his claim that she was really a daughter of Night who lived with a monster in Manhattan. They also didn't believe she could talk. Well, the kid from the Poseidon cabin that everyone thought was hot stuff seemed to believe Rainbow could talk, but seemed skeptical that Hector could understand her.

"No, but I'm willing to bet he's lying. Will anyone take that bet?"

Things had eventually devolved into a full-blown argument outside the Hermes cabin. A dozen or so campers had just listened to him finish telling his story again, and were adamant that Doris did not exist.

"How about this?" Asked an Ares kid. "I'll put up the drachma, and if the kid's lying he has to do my shift at kitchen patrol. Doesn't the Hermes cabin have a free period during that time slot?

There were a few murmurs of assent, and the group tracked over to the nearest garden hose. Connor Stoll turned it on, while his brother Travis held up the nozzle and produced a rainbow.

The Ares kid threw a drachma through the rainbow and stated an incantation that ended with, "Show me Doris!"

The image shimmered, before displaying a woman brushing her hair in a bathtub. Everything looked a little strange and blue, sort of like they were looking through a color filter. The woman looked up, saw them, and screamed. She then dove down into the bathtub, hiding from sight.

"That's a nymph, not a scythian dracanae. The kid was lying."

Money began to be passed around, but Hector shoved forward to stand in front of the image.

"We want Doris the scythian dracanae, not Doris the… whoever this is."

He half expected the image to ignore him, but after a moment of static the image shifted to a lady with glasses, who was frowning at them.

"Well sorry, next time give me a location to make sure I've got the right person. How was I supposed to know you didn't mean Doris the ocean nymph? You could have also meant Doris the Amazon! See Fleecy, this is what I have to deal with all day."

Then the image shifted again to show a familiar scythian dracanae inside of her apartment. She wasn't alone though, and was on the ground with her limbs wrapped around Rainbow. The two soon rolled out of the picture, but mild grunts, panting, and groans could be heard.

"Okay, okay, I think we've seen enough." Said the Ares kid, swiping his hand through the image just as it started to emit a scream.

"What? They're just fighting over the remote again. They did that several times while we were at hotels. Rainbow always won." Hector tried to explain.

One of the older kids patted him on the head, which made him feel angry inside. Only his sister and Rainbow were allowed to do that! Only they did it in a way that wasn't dismissive of him!

"You keep thinking that way kid. Keep your innocence a little while longer. Besides, look at the bright side, you definitely proved you weren't lying."

There were several groans and money began exchanging hands again.



Meanwhile, in Doris's Apartment…

"VICTORY!" Doris screamed, having finally won a battle over the remote with Rainbow. She had been sure she was going to lose again when Rainbow suddenly seemed distracted, allowing her to snatch the remote and victory from the pegasus's hooves.

"We can finally stop watching the boring news channels and catch up on Loony Tunes." She declared.

Rainbow got to her hooves nearby, a frown on her muzzle. "I could have sworn we were being watched…"
 
Interlude - Eris's Fun Adventures in the Fields of Punishment
Interlude

Eris hummed to herself as she wandered through the Underworld. The Fields of Punishment were so nice this time of year. All the screaming, wailing, and suffering brought warmth to her ancient heart.

She hopped over Sisyphus and his boulder, kicking a rock so that the man would trip on it during his next attempt. She skipped past a man being boiled in cheese fondue for eternity, and made it seem like the one being boiled had insulted the boiler's choice in cheese. She heard an argument between the two break out as she jumped towards where the pirates were kept.

As a personified spirit of discord, strife, and all the other good stuff, it felt nice to just be herself. It felt even better when she passed a man forced to walk the plank for eternity, and shoved him off herself. As he found himself back at the beginning of the plank, he glared at her. Her smiled widened.

She had always loved pirates. They were such great creators of strife, men after her own heart. They plundered, they held hostages, they murdered, they interrupted the mail service, and a hundred other things. She'd even thrown them a bone every now and then, convincing a few monarchs and governors to hand out pardons to pirates who renounced their ways. This gave her favored mortals a chance to rest for a year or two and not burn themselves out, before they inevitably returned to piracy.

Well, some inevitably returned. She always left a 'gift' to those who seemed like they were planning on leaving the life fully.

She paused as she came to one pirate in particular, a man begging for his crew to save him from drowning. She watched for a few minutes as the shades of his crew watched impassively, and their 'leader' eventually dipped below the water. Then he reappeared about a foot in the air and the process began all over again.

Ahh yes, she remembered this man well. She'd toyed with him a few times in his career, and when she'd heard that he was thinking about settling down she might have interfered with his plans. But that was centuries ago, why did she feel like he'd cropped up in her mind in the past months?

She paused, deep in thought. She ignored his pleas for aid, and reviewed the recent events that had caused the most strife. She got about halfway down her top 10 most discordant events of the past year when she struck gold.

Her smile widened, and she double checked that the Furies and other assorted security guards weren't paying attention. She then marched over and plucked the pirate captain from his predicament, and carried him to shore. As the shades of his crew chittered among themselves, the captain embraced her legs.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He repeated over and over, tears getting on her black toga.

Eww. She'd have to wash her clothes later.

Normally one of the prisoners here would have known better than to do that to someone like her. Most inmates of the Fields of Punishment were kept as mentally intact as they had been the day they died. It seemed like this man had started to lose it before his death. His crew were among the exceptions to the rule, as they were only here as a form of their captain's punishment. Their existence was essentially the same as any other member of the Asphodel Fields, except that they stood here to form part of their captain's punishment.

In fact, on second look it seemed like some of the shades weren't actually members of this man's crew. She recognized a man who served under Calico Jack and another who served under Bartholomew Roberts. She'd wager that other members of this captain's crew had also been condemned to eternal tortures, and Hades had roped in a few other shades to fill in those missing gaps. It's not like the shades noticed the difference in scenery.

She kicked the captain off of her feet. As he sat in a quivering ball, she thought on exactly how she'd play this. She'd need to get these men out of here, get them a ship, and tell them of a few recent events. She'd also need to restore them to their full mental faculties, and prevent Thanatos or the Furies from finding them.

The easiest way to do that would be to empower them with a little essence from herself, like Ares did for the shades that crewed his spoils of war ghost ships. But that was too easily tracked back to herself, and lacked any sort of pizazz to it.

She reviewed her inventory of stolen appropriated items. Three golden apples, one golden mango from the Hermes twins, two of Cupid's arrows, two of Apollo's arrows (one the invisible killing kind, one the pestilence causing kind), every single customer complaint to Hermes' delivery service, some of Poseidon's nose hair, a cornucopia of cursed objects, a bag of Theoria's feathers…

Oh yes, that would do. Her newest baby sister had been extremely diligent in destroying those most of the time. Key words being most of the time. In addition to the few that she'd managed to nab over the decades, she'd had a windfall from a monster's hideout that was being secured by the police. Her sister had been too occupied with that monster she eventually moved in with to notice little ol' Eris sneaking around.

Those two were an odd pair. It'd make a lot more sense if they were lovers, but to her surprise and disappointment that wasn't the case. There wasn't as much fun in screwing with people who, well, weren't screwing. So she'd left them alone for the time being.

But this opportunity was too good to pass up. She quickly wove some spellwork into the feathers, taking care to remove any trace of her own essence as she did so. If the spells functioned correctly, they would make the holder both more cognizant and hidden from the senses of any immortals. She pressed the first into the hands of one of the shades.

To her satisfaction, he both disappeared from the more mystical of her senses and looked around in shock. She passed out the rest to the other shades, and was left with only two feathers. She repeated the process on the first, doubling the mental reinforcements and handed it to the captain. The other she simply scrubbed clean of her essence before letting it fall to the ground.

After all, wasn't it the duty of every older sister to pick on their younger ones?
 
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Chapter 25 - Doris and the Pirates of the Caribbean
As summer neared its end, I enjoyed a wonderful day in Central Park.

Central Park is a great place to visit. It's a great place to birdwatch, or feed the pigeons like the little old lady across from me was doing. It's also a great place to sun yourself if you're a scythian dracanae like myself. In general, it's a great place to relax. I closed my eyes, stretched out, and basked in the sun.

I felt someone else sit on the bench beside me. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" I asked.

I heard a chittering noise, sort of like the sounds bats make. I opened my eyes and realized that my companion was a well-dressed skeleton.

I managed to keep from screaming. It wouldn't have done any good, and might have given the little old lady a heart attack. Instead I scooped up my new (and improved!) spear off of the ground and bared it just in case.

The dead weren't that scary, I told myself. Mestra was completely right when she said that the dead were to be pitied, they weren't something the Greeks had feared. Aside from its sudden appearance, the skeleton wasn't scaring me any more than the sudden realization that there was a skeleton inside of me all along.

Unless of course, a small voice whispered in the back of my mind, I had ticked off Hades somehow. In that case I was boned, quite literally. But typically the armies of the damned didn't consist of one unarmed mook in fine clothing, so I figured that wasn't happening.

"So, nice weather we're having?" I asked. Pity, not fear, I reminded myself.

I totally wasn't shaking.

The skeleton chittered and began to move. I'd almost started to bash its skull in with my spear before I realized that it was simply handing me something. I lowered my weapon and carefully took the envelope from its hand.

I looked down. On it, in fancy handwriting that would make John Hancock proud, were two simple words. 'To Theoria'.

Oh no. I had hoped Rainbow had taken my request to make the telemarketers go away as the joke it had been and not a literal request.

I looked back up at the skeleton, which chittered at me again. "I'll make sure to get this to her." I said.

The skeleton chittered before collapsing into a pile of bones before me. Huh. I should probably make myself scarce before some mortal saw those bones and wondered what I was doing near them. On second thought, I should also make sure that the little old lady doesn't see them and freak out.



"Hey Rainbow, you got a skelo-gram." I called as I entered my apartment.

When Rainbow had fulfilled her second favor by getting me a new spear almost two months ago, I had half expected her to leave afterwards. To my delight the protogenos had hung around. Well, she mostly hung around. Every now and then she vanished for a day or two, but she always showed back up within the week. Usually with a box of some old metal engine parts.

I wasn't sure what was up with that.

The pegasus got up from the couch and approached me. "A what?"

"You know, a skelo-gram. It's what the Rich One does when he wants to deliver mail and scare the daylights out of a monster at the same time."

"Hades gave you mail for me?" She asked, tilting her head. This time it was a proper head tilt, none of that 90 degree nonsense she'd been doing earlier.

I nodded and handed her the letter. Her wings reached out and plucked the envelope from my hands in an impressive display of dexterity. That or an impressive violation of pegasus anatomy, it was kind of hard to tell with Rainbow.

She tore it open with her mouth and pulled out the contents. A frown came across her muzzle.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"There was a recent breakout from the Underworld. It seems that I am the primary suspect."

"Well… you didn't do it, right?"

She shook her head. "I've never had reason to enter the Fields of Punishment, much less release one of its inmates. Hades has summoned me to a meeting though, one that I will have to attend."

I shivered at the thought. "Are you sure that's safe? He's pretty powerful, what if he doesn't believe you?"

"To refuse would seem to indicate my guilt. Hades is typically quite fair in his dealings, I should be able to resolve this." Then she gave me a small smile. "Don't worry, I can take care of myself."

"Be safe, and don't do anything stupid." I urged her.



Meanwhile, in Jamestown, Virginia

Eris smiled as she watched her newest pawns throw the last of the museum staff on the recreated Susan Constant overboard and into the water. She laughed as the man screamed invectives as he swam the short distance to shore. Puny mortals, thinking their words could affect something like her.

She then focused on more spellwork, weaving a veil from the Mist that would hide the vessel from the inevitable mortal search parties, but still show that something was there. It wouldn't do to have the vessel sunk in a collision. She followed it up with one last little bit of magic that touched up the vessel into a proper sea-going ship, then once again scrubbed any trace of her presence.

Walking down into the ship's cabin, she unloaded numerous nautical charts she had stolen acquired from a harbor shop, as well as a few other tools and trinkets her pawns would likely need. Chief among them were weapons, many of which she had pilfered from Ares over the years.

How ironic.

"My lady, I cannot thank you enough." Spoke the ship's captain.

She sniffed. "No, you certainly cannot. You can, however, repay me with copious amounts of violence, strife, and general mayhem."

The specter grinned. "I will have my revenge."

This chapter felt a little rough to me.

By the way, does anyone want to play our favorite game, Who's that Pirate?, and guess who it was that Eris plucked out of the Underworld? In addition to the couple of hints in the previous chapter, it would be useful to remember that this takes place maybe two or three months after the end of The Sea of Monsters.
 
Chapter 26 - Be the Rainbow in the Underworld
To get to the Underworld, Theoria chose to go through the Door of Orpheus.

Orpheus had been a demigod so talented at music that he had charmed the very earth into making a path to the Underworld for him. He had almost succeeding in bringing his dead wife back to life, but at the last moment he had looked back. The door had later shifted to New York, as much of mythological Greece had.

When she had left her mother's mansion in tartarus over a year ago, she had used this path as a shortcut. While the exit might have been sealed, the passage still remembered the music of millennia ago, and was forcibly easily coaxed into parting for her. The deciding factor was that it exited into Central Park, not too far from her destination.

As she slipped past the cordoned-off section of the park the door was located in, she felt some regret for her actions. In her haste to go inform Hermes of her idea, she might have caused just enough damage to prevent the door from ever fully closing again. It was a terrible idea in any case, and in retrospect she understood why he was so angry with her. She wished his reaction hadn't been so violent, but then she would have never met Doris.

She had feared that the damage done to this priceless remnant of ancient history might have provoked a response. So far, Hades had posted a security skeleton at the bottom and her mother had (eventually) congratulated her on learning how to make a dramatic exit. Aside from that nothing had come of it.



When Hades had demanded requested a meeting with her, Theoria wasn't sure what to expect.

The Underworld's mightiest guards could meet her as a show of force. A more peaceful approach would be for a single shade to escort her to a meeting chamber. Hades himself greeting her was not out of the possibilities. In fact, Hades, with his invisibility-granting Helm of Darkness, could be stalking her at this very moment.

She paused, then slipped out of her 'Rainbow' guise and into her natural form. She spread herself into a fine mist, and drenched her surroundings with her presence. She searched herself intently for any disturbances, any pockets where she could not reach, or… well… anything that wasn't the wall or herself.

After a moment, she re-condensed and donned her normal guise. If Hades was present in the passage with her, none of her senses could detect him. When she got to the base of the passage, she found her welcoming party.

She had not expected Mestra in a fancy dress. Here in the Underworld, the undead shapeshifter looked very different. Her skin was like ivory, her cheeks were sunken in, and her hair was ragged. Her facial expression, to pardon the pun, looked grim.

"Lord Hades is extremely angry. I don't think the Furies have been more wary of his presence since his Helm of Darkness was stolen last year."

Theoria frowned. "If his anger is with me, it is misplaced."

Mestra didn't answer. Instead, she turned and led Theoria deeper into the Underworld. Eventually she was lead to a room with a long table. Hades sat at the head, idly cutting a fruit.

Unsure of how to react, Theoria stood in the entranceway. Considering what Mestra had told her, she was expecting at least some reaction out of her host. Yet Hades simply continued cutting his fruit up into small pieces, and then slowly ate it.

When he swallowed the last piece a minute later, she tensed. Hades didn't look up, but he slowly put down his silverware and spoke.

"Please, have a seat. I would offer you a drink and some food, but it tends to have a rather unpleasant side effect."

She slowly trotted over to the indicated chair and sat down. She was thankful for the size of her typical guise, a full-grown pegasus would not have fit comfortably. She wasn't sure if shifting form would be considered appropriate.

"Now I seem to have a problem. There was a recent breakout from the Fields of Punishment. The pirate Stede Bonnet and his crew have seemingly vanished, with the only trace being a single feather."

Hades looked up, and for the first time in her life Theoria felt true fear. Dark fires burned in those orbs, and it was then she realized that apart from her own mother, Hades was the most powerful person she had ever met. His hand reached below the table, and produced a feather.

Her feather.

"Explain to me why this was found at the scene." Said Hades as he stood up to his full stature.

She felt extremely small.

She couldn't speak fast enough. "I swear on the River Styx that I did not participate in the breakout."

Thunder boomed.

There was a flicker in Hades's eyes, but otherwise his face remained impassive. "However ill-advised it may be, oaths on the River Styx can be broken. In addition, do not think your presence here in the Underworld has gone unnoticed."

She flinched. Now her attempt to keep abreast of events had backfired, and her best defense was useless. "I might watch the newly-arrived dead, but I've never entered the Fields of Punishment. You've never objected to my presence in your realm before."

"You used to be a denizen of tartarus. Don't mistake my toleration of your antics to mean I condone them. In the future a guard will be present with you at all times you are in the Underworld, but not tartarus."

Her… well she didn't have a heart, but something inside of rose at that statement. Probably the essence that surrounded her lungs and vocal cords.

"So you believe that I am not responsible?"

Hades picked up her feather and examined it intently for a moment. "I believe that it would be incredibly reckless and idiotic for you to break a group out of the Underworld so successfully, yet leave behind such an obvious piece of evidence. Either you are involved, or someone wants to make it seem like you are involved."

He threw the feather into the air, and a cold breeze slowly floated it in her direction.

"Find the pirates. Bring them back to me so that I may… question them about who was truly responsible. They will feel my wrath."

Her feather landed before her, and she snapped it up in her mouth. Huh, it tasted… sad.

"Before you leave, a word of advice. Shades often return to places that were familiar to them in life. From what I remember of Bonnet, that would be Barbados and the Carolinas. I care not how you find him and the other pirates, nor whom you work with. But do not return to my presence without them. Mestra, escort her out of the Underworld!"

She fled his presence as quickly as was possible. After a few seconds she paused and reoriented herself. Tartarus had not been her destination.


From what I understand, Stede Bonnet was a pirate of the early 1700's. He met up with Blackbeard, who for a variety of factors (most notably Bonnet's crew wanting an experienced commander) ended up taking over command of Bonnet's ship. Bonnet ended up stuck as a 'guest' of Blackbeard for months, with very few of his crew actually loyal to Bonnet. Later the two would go for a pardon, and when Bonnet returned to go take his ship and change careers to privateering, he found that Blackbeard had beached Bonnet's ship, stolen most of his supplies, and taken all the plunder. Bonnet tried to go after Blackbeard, but couldn't catch up with him. He ended up stuck with low supplies and started being a pirate again to rectify this. He was captured on the orders of the Governor of South Carolina, and brought to Charleston, a city he along with Blackbeard had laid siege to. There he was tried and hanged, along with the majority of his crew. There were reports that his mental health was in serious decline at the time.

So his eternal punishment is dying with his crew not helping him. As he was once helpless despite being surrounded by 'allies', he is forever trapped that way. Eris's present to his pardon attempt was to help inspire Blackbeard to turn on him while he was gone. Neither Blackbeard nor Bonnet know of Eris's role in that, and she certainly isn't telling.

In the PJO books, Blackbeard is a son of Ares who, instead of dying in his final battle, somehow wound up on Circe's island in the Sea of Monsters (Bermuda Triangle). Circe, who in PJO has a more hardline stance against men than freaking Artemis, turned him and his crew into immortal guinea pigs. When Percy gets turned into a guinea pig for the crime of being male, Annabeth restores all the transformed guinea pigs (with medicine provided by Hermes) because she can't tell which is Percy. Blackbeard and his crew, now immune to Circe's magic due to the Hermes medicine, promptly burns down and takes over the place, while Percy and Annabeth steal his ship and leave.

Eris freed Bonnet and told him about this. So Bonnet, with his restored and pissed crew, are going after the guy who got most of them hanged by stealing all their stuff. The few other guys with them got outvoted on what to do. Blackbeard is running the ruins of an island resort like his own fief, where all the men are pirates and all the woman are the workers for the goddess who turned said pirates into animals.

I… really pity the all-female staff of that island.
 
Chapter 27 - Theoria and the Olympians
Before she returned to the apartment, Theoria made a quick stop. Before her lay the strawberry fields of Camp Half-Blood in all of their glory. A lone satyr was making his way through them, charming the plants with his reed pipes. She wasn't an expert on crops, but it looked like harvest time was nearing.

Her knowledge of the camp was not as great as she would have liked. Her mother's description of the camp had been brief, and much of what she knew came from her own… ranged observations. Those had promptly ended a few months back when Thalia's tree had been poisoned.

Thalia's tree was quite important to the camp. It had previously been a daughter of Zeus, who had been transformed by her father moments before her death. It powered the wards and border for Camp Half-Blood, and marked the spot where campers traditionally entered.

She hid stood next to the tree in question, which had a glittering sheepskin draped high in its boughs. That was probably the Golden Fleece, which had been retrieved by Clarisse La Rue. Theoria's duplicate on Olympus couldn't help but overhear Ares bragging about the actions of his daughter. The war god wouldn't shut up about it.

The tree seemed to be doing much better than when she had last seen it. The leaves looked healthy, the limbs were thick, and the border felt strong. There was a sort of pervading emptiness though, and she briefly wondered what that might mean. Perhaps Thalia's spirit had finally moved on to the Underworld?

She heard two voices approaching, and swiveled her ears to better listen in.

"As I've told you, ever since Thalia's tree was healed and the border restored, border patrol is a boring and useless task. You just march in a large circle around the camp."

"But Travis told me about the pizza delivery guy! Can't mortals sometimes get through?" Asked a familiar voice.

A sigh. "Yes, every decade or so a really lost mortal shows up on the beach or something, but that isn't likely to ever happen while you're on the job. The most I've ever found when the border was strong was a monster that got themselves stuck halfway through the wards."

"I'm pretty good at finding things. I bet I'll find the coolest thing ever while on border patrol!"

"Calm down kid. If you use that much enthusiasm on something boring like border patrol you won't have anything left for the really fun parts of camp. You're going to be a hot commodity in capture the flag."

A ghost of a smile came across her face. She couldn't pass up this opportunity. She marched around the tree to face the approaching campers.

Hector, covered in bits and pieces of ill-fitting armor and toting a sword half his own height began to hobble his way over. His companion was a much larger kid in a well-kept set of battle armor, who stared at her in shock.

She felt small arms circle around her, and she raised a wing to pat the boy on the head.

"So… what're you doing here?"

She chose her words carefully. "I would like to speak with the camp's director."

Hector pouted. "What do you want to speak with that old- erm, I mean what do you want to see Mr. D for?"

"Be careful what you call him." She warned.

"Yeah, yeah, everyone keeps saying that. I don't see what the big deal is, all he does is drink diet coke all day and play cards with Chiron. Can't you just come by to say hi to me or something?"

"Your mother took a rather dim view of our association together."

That was putting it mildly. Her sister Hecate had wanted her son to remain safely at Camp Half-Blood, believing he was too young. Theoria was of the opinion that if her nephew wanted to leave to save his father, he had the right to make the attempt (with proper supervision of course). Hecate had responded with a wordless scream of frustration, and made it clear she didn't want Theoria purposely interfering with Hector's life ever again.

Theoria wondered if her sister had learned about Clifford, the big black hellhound yet.

Fortunately, Hecate's emphatic request that Theoria stay away from Hector was just that, a request. Theoria had already thought up several ways to get around it. One way was for her to go to Camp Half-Blood for totally unrelated reasons and the demigod just happen to be there at the same time. Other loopholes were if she were to visit his mortal sister or his mortal father.

"Eh, I've only seen her once anyways, and that was when she was talking with dad. You're much cooler and actually showed up."

She gave him another pat on the head, then trotted down towards the camp below. Hector followed along behind her as she headed towards the large house between her and the strawberry fields. Theoria ignored the few startled campers they passed on the way.

On the porch of the house was a pudgy man, wearing a spotted Hawaiian shirt and sitting in a rocking chair. He didn't even open his eyes as they approached, but did speak up. "You're interrupting my siesta. What do you want?"

Hector opened his mouth and words immediately began to spill out. "So I was on border patrol with Sherman, and he was all like 'blah blah, border patrol is boring, stop being so happy, blah blah'."

The man before him snorted. "Sounds about right."

"I was like 'I bet I'll find something cool one day while on border patrol', and he said 'no, you won't'. And then we got to Thalia's tree, although I don't think that's a good name for it. Shouldn't we call it Thalia's ex-tree now? The tree that used to be Thalia? The ex-Thalia tree? Anyways, we got to the tree that once had Thalia in it, like a pea in a pod, and we came across Rainbow here. Sherman was all like 'wow, border patrol is the most exciting thing ever, I should have believed you!' and Rainbow was like 'I need to speak with Mr. D'."

The man still didn't open his eyes. "Fine. What does the newbie want? Newbie is what the kids are calling new people, right Hutchins boy?"

An angry expression came across Hector's face. "Don't call her that!"

Fear shot through Theoria, and she took a half-step closer to the boy. Just in case.

The man continued to rock back and forth in the chair. "I'll call her whatever I want to. She's almost as young as Pac-Man, so she's a newbie. Now why is she here?"

"Like I said, she said she wanted to speak to you."

"Well get it over with. You're wasting my highly valuable time."

She bowed low to the ground. "Lord Dionysus, I would like to request an audience with the Oracle."

Dionysus cracked open an eye, and looked at her. A chill crept down her body, and her senses screamed at her. Hades might have been more powerful, but Dionysus could break her in ways she could never heal from.

He studied her for a moment. Theoria fought to keep perfectly still, ignoring her instincts that screamed at her to back away, to flee, to do anything other than stand here before this man.

Dionysus snorted, then closed his eye. "What do I care? Just know that if you break my brother's toy, he'll be very angry."



She passed all sorts of objects throughout the attic. The collected trophies of demigods from the past few centuries were piled up throughout the room. She even passed the Sword of Damocles, tossed next to a pair of fuzzy dice.

One might think that just tossing them here would be quite irresponsible. Many of these items could be quite dangerous, and it's not like the same man who stole Zeus's Master Bolt hadn't worked at this very camp as the consular of the Hermes Cabin.

One would be wrong to think that. These artifacts were protected by the most powerful woman of ancient Greece. The spirit of the Oracle of Delphi.

In the corner of the room, the mummy that housed the Oracle sat in a chair. Light from the window illuminated her tie-dye t-shirt, but her head was shrouded in darkness. Theoria bowed before the Oracle, as one had to always be careful when dealing with prophecies.

"Can you tell me how I can find the pirate Stede Bonnet."

Nothing happened. She waited a few minutes, but it was clear that if the mummy had any answer for her, she wasn't sharing.

Theoria frowned. Glancing left and right, she crept closer to the mummy.

She double checked that she and the Oracle were alone in the attic before whispering. "Can you tell me how to avoid the coming darkness? Is there any way I can change the future?"

Nothing happened. The Oracle's face remained in the shadows.

She snorted. Of course the Oracle wouldn't help her. She turned around to leave and found herself muzzle to knee with a man reclining in a chair with a lyre.

"Sorry about that, there's been some technical difficulties with the Oracle the last couple of decades. Well, difficulties in appearance, at least, I can attest that the prophesying abilities of the Oracle are working just fine."

"Lord Apollo." She said with another bow.

"None of that." He said, waving his arms as if to chase away her words. "Just call me Apollo." He then picked up his lyre and took in a deep breath.

Oh no. He was about to start a haiku. Rather than give him the opportunity to start, she quickly interrupted him. It might have been rude, but if there was anything that Olympus laughed about more than her it was Apollo's terrible haikus.

"Is there anything you can tell me about how to change my future?"

His eyes darkened, and his grip on the lyre grew tight. "The young are foolish, and rarely listen to their elders. If you've caught a glimpse of the future, you are best off not fighting it. The more you strive to stop the future, the more you have a hand in creating it."

What did he know of this? He was Apollo, the slayer of the mighty Python! Someone with his level of power could easily destroy all but the strongest of foes. He didn't have to worry like she did. He didn't have to work with nearly as much uncertainty.

She almost asked him what he could possibly know, but decided not to. He was the god of prophecies after all. But when was the last time that he had been weak when compared to his foes? What would he do if faced with what she was?

"I'll take that under advisement." She said with a bow, then turned to leave. She got the feeling that Apollo didn't believe her, but he didn't move to stop her either.

She exited the attic. She passed by Chiron in the hallway, whose eyes widened comically. She gave him a wave with a wing, but kept trotting. She needed to be elsewhere.

On the outside, Dionysus was seemingly asleep in his chair. Hector joined her as she trotted past him.

"So how'd it go?"

She couldn't find any reason to lie. "Poorly."

"Oh, sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can help with?"

She shook her head. "Not unless you own a boat or a pirate detector."

She took off, heading back to Doris's apartment.



Three hours later, she realized she'd made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

I wanted to have Apollo hit on Rainbow (as he hits on basically anything female… and most things male), but I couldn't come up with a shitty haiku for him to say. So I had her stop him in his tracks.

For people who haven't read the books:

Thalia's Tree: The Golden Fleece healed Thalia's tree so well that Thalia herself was restored to life and just popped up one day next to the tree, horribly confused. This is set in the days just after that (or ideally later that same day), and the news hasn't made it into the Olympus rumor mill for Rainbow to hear.

The mummy: In the PJO universe, the Oracle at/of Delphi is stuck inhabiting a mummy due to an incident that happened during World War II. (The following is from memory, so I might be wrong)

When the Great Prophecy was given back then, apparently the next two halfbloods in line to turn 16 were Nico and his sister. Considering the massive war Hades other kids had caused and the general dislike towards Hades and his children, Zeus was inclined to kill Nico and Bianca with a bolt of lightning. Hades prevented that from happening, but their mother did die and Hades chucked Nico and Bianca into the Lethe and then the Lotus Casino and Hotel, where time passes differently relative to the outside world.

Then the Oracle shows up. Hades can still see the cooling corpse of his dead lover, and the Oracle basically goes "I told you so."

Bad move. Hades curses her, and the spirit is stuck in that same body until his kids are accepted by everyone. So the mummy of that poor, stupid girl, inhabits the attic at Camp Half-Blood. She doesn't do anything most of the time, except to belch green smoke to give prophecies and one notable incident where she takes a zombie stroll to track down Zoe Nightshade.

Mr. D: Dionysus, in punishment for going after an off-limits wood nymph, was punished to be in charge of Camp Half-Blood for 100 years, and be prohibited from wine during the period. He spends most of his time ignoring the campers, drinking diet coke, pretending he doesn't care about halfbloods at all, and playing pinochle with Chiron.
Thoughts? Parts of this chapter felt a little clunky for me, but it sets the stage for a lot of things that will be important in this arc and the following ones.
 
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