Divided By Zero [Evangelion Peggy Sue]

[Alex Prior]

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11.0
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save Rei​

My cores glowed.

ba-BUM

I vanished from Terminal Dogma.

ba-BUM

I bent space around me and tore reality asunder as I raced forth, a single thought bouncing around in my skull.

save Rei​

With a resounding CRACK, I appeared on the bridge in Central Dogma.

ba-BUM

The bridge bunnies screamed and got out of my way. I heard the click of a gun behind me.

"Not another step."

ba-BUM

My Cores flashed. "Misato-chan, put the gun down."

I turned, smiling pleasantly. Or semi-pleasantly. She looked shocked. "What is the matter, Misato-chan? Do you not recognize me?"

Rits inhaled in shock. "Zero-chan?"

ba-BUM

My teeth were bared, and I think rather sharp. "Hello, Rits-chan. I do apologize for the Angelic aura and altogether general scary factor."

save Rei​

I blinked. "Fact stands. I must save Rei. I stole power from Lilith. Power that I need to accomplish that task. Let me do this task." I shrugged off the lab coat.

ba-BUM

Behind me, Zeruel ripped off the wall of the Dogma. I turned. Slowly. Surely. Savoring the moment. "Hello, Zeruel."

ba-BUM

My AT-field flared. The Angel only had a second to look surprised, before it shot upwards like a limp ragdoll. "Goodbye, Zeruel." I levitated myself off the floor.

ba-BUM

Space rent under my power once again. I vanished from Central Dogma and appeared in the GeoFront proper. Right above the Angel. "That was a bit misleading, Zeruel." I blasted him. "When I said goodbye." He tried to slice through my AT-field. He failed. "I did not mean 'see you later'." I blasted him again, slicing through the ribs protecting his vunerable Core. "I meant it in a rather more permanent manner." Another slice cut off his face. "First, however."

save Rei​

"There is the slight matter with your hostages." I shaped my AT-field.

ba-BUM

"I want them back."

My Cores pulsed.

BA-BUM

Zeruel and I rose into the air. Everything thrummed with power wafting off of me. As I placed my hand on his Core, the one on the back of it started resonating with something inside.

The other hand joined the first. Another resonance. Mari and Rei, it had to be. I poured more power within.

BA-BUM

The sky turned black. The air grew cold. A vortex appeared above my head.

"An Impact Event is forming," I mused. "Regretful."

BA-BUM

Zeruel's Core concaved. The Resonances peaked. I pulled. The Core exploded into a shower of blood, which just hung in the air for a moment.

ba-BUM

save...​

...Rei.

ba-BUM.

The blood coalesced, into two naked human figures.

The Cores left the backs of my hands, fusing with the figures.

Rei opened her eyes.

Mari opened her eyes.

I grabbed their hands.

They grabbed each other's.

We raised our entwined hands to the sky. Our Cores pulsed for the last time in unison. The sky became blue again.

I smiled. "Welcome home."

-----

Mari shook her hair, which had changed from chestnut brown to gunmetal grey. "You're completely insane, Zero Akagi, and this is coming from the girl who defeated an Angel with an Evangelion that was falling apart on me!"

I smiled. "I know, Makinami-san. I watched the footage. I believe I have already mentioned that before."

She laughed. "Doesn't mean you have to up me on that, does it?"

"Well clearly," Rei observed, "you haven't been watching footages of our battles. Batshit insane is what we do."

"You at the first and foremost," I snarked. She glowered at me.

"Oh yeah? Remind me whose idea was it to melee the other stupidly powerful Angel - oh wait! Yours. Again."

"Hey, it worked, did it not?"

"Worked!? I got melted! Again!"

"GIRLS!"

We both turned at Mari, who was smirking at us. "You're both pretty. Can we concentrate on other matters? Like the fact that Zero is the only person here wearing clothes?"

I blinked. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Rei smacked herself on the forehead. "Human social taboos, you dolt. Honestly, how am I the more human part of this equation?"

"Because you were human originally," I answered blandly.

"Well, you-"

"Can we just concentrate for a moment?" Mari was looking rather impatient now. "How do you two get anywhere with all the tangents you get on to - No," she added, seeing Rei open her mouth, "I don't want to know lest you run off on another tangent. Clothes? Where?"

"NERV," I suggested. "Failing the official channels, I can sneak around undetected in the air ducts."

The Pilot remained unconvinced. "And if they have itchy trigger fingers?"

Rei and I raised a synchronized eyebrow. Then we raised our AT-fields.

"You are a Nephilim now," I explained. "You can project the Light of your Soul like we can."

Mari palmed her face. "Welcome to Lab Science," she muttered. "Starring, pick an Akagi."

I felt slightly affronted. "I had to get rid of that extra power somehow. Despite looking like I had things under control, I calculate that in another ten seconds we would have exploded or something."

I was treated to two slightly horrified looks. "Or something," drawled Rei. "Okay, stop. Zero-chan. What the fuck?"

I tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

She poked me in the Core. "Since when were you that flippant with anyone's lives? For that matter, how do you look like yourself again? AND HOW ARE YOU ALIVE!"

I rubbed the back of my head as she growled angrily. "Well. You see. Thing is."

She grabbed my lapels. "Well? Spit it out!"

I lowered my head. "mmtsnnd."

Yes, that was a growl. Rei did not look amused. "Louder!"

I took a deep breath. "I am the Second."

Rei let go of me. Her face was full of horror. "W-what?"

I looked away. "You remember what happened with Sangoki last time. You know we were not able to hack the Dummy System this time."

She took a step back. "Zero-chan..."

I sank down on the ground. "I've been building this body for the last several months. It was about to be able to be decanted when Gendo declared I was to be the test pilot of Sangoki. When he locked you away."

Rei sat down next to me. "What was your original plan?"

I looked away once more. "I wanted to transfer my consciousness into it. To see if there was something, anything left of Shinji Ikari. Bardiel was a threat to those plans." I looked Rei in the eye. "A malfunction with the Dirac Bridge I was building as a side-project bought an unknown Rei Ayanami from an unknown dimension into my lab."

Rei was staring. Mari sat down next to us.

I continued. "She knew my name, somehow." I tapped my Core. "When she left, she gave me this. I added it to this body." I rubbed it idly. It felt warm and comforting. "And then I completed and activated a Soul Recall Device, backing up my memory in the process." I felt tears come to my eyes. "I must have suspected I would not survive Bardiel. Gendo knew that. I knew that he knew. And so on and so forth."

I gazed towards the devastated NERV HQ. "I wonder if he planned for this?"

Rei growled. "Fuck him. Let's just mosey over to your lab. Think you can do that, at least?"

We could. Sneaking towards the nearest air vent was the hardest part, really. The rest was cakewalk.

I really should not have been surprised by the unknown Ayanami waiting for us in the lab.

-----

"Heeee~ey."

Rei immediately took a fighting stance. "Who the hell are you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Hello, unknown Ayanami."

She waved cheerfully. "Hai there, Zero-chan!"

Rei manifested an AT-saber. I tilted my head. "You never did say how you know my name. Or who you were."

"I say we beat it out of her," snarled Rei.

I looked askance at her. "Or we could... not do that."

The unknown Ayanami giggled. "I'm Rei! Nice to meet'cha!"

Rei attacked. "Being Rei is my job around here," she growled. Rei? twisted out of the way, grinning like a loon.

I exchanged glances with Mari. "On three?"

She nodded. "On three. Three!" We snapped our AT-fields out, Mari grabbing Rei?, leaving me to subdue Rei with it.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Could you behave, Rei-chan? For me? Please?"

Rei growled. "I've had it up to here with pretenders and copies using my name!"

"She came over the Dirac Bridge," I pointed out. "It is entirely possible that she is an original Rei Ayanami, like you."

Crossing her arms, Rei huffed. "I'm not picking a different name. Make her get a different one."

Mari cleared her throat. "Here's an idea, geniuses." She pointed at Rei. "You can be Rei." She pointed at Rei?. "And you can be Rey. That work?"

The newly-christened Rey shrugged. "That works."

Rei exhaled. "Fine."

Sighing, Mari let her captive go. "Can I get something to wear now?"

Wordlessly, I marched over to the 'wardrobe' - more of a closet, really - and rummaged around in it. "Couple of extra plugsuits," I remarked. "They will have to do." I tossed them out, remaining with my back turned, deep in thought.

It had occurred to me that I had spent an inordinately long time around Mari (and Rei) in the nude, yet I possessed no physical attraction towards her. As Shinji Ikari, I would have been a stuttering mess. Now? Nothing. I decided to test a theory. I took the Scenarios described by Gendo Ikari and applied them to Mari. No reaction. Rei? Nothing. Ayanami? Still nothing. Had I miswired my body somehow? Another idea sparked. I tried to imagine just... spending time with Mari. Tinkering. Simply being around her.

Ah, there was that blush. Some kind of attraction was there, yes. A fairly strong one, too. But not a physical one. Fascinating.

"Heee~ey."

I turned to look at Rey. She was rocking on the balls of her feet, grinning. "They're clothed now. You can stop looking away~!"

I stared at her. "In a moment, Rey. How do you know me?"

She smiled, somewhat sadly. "Spoilers."

I crossed my arms. "You knew my name when I first met you, even though I never told you. Something else is clearly going on. Explain."

Rey rolled her eyes. "Time travel is involved. Stop asking, 'kay? This is complex enough as it is."

I took a deep breath. Then I let it out. "I will drop it. For the time being. Why are you here now?"

She shrugged. "Dunno yet. Guess we'll find out soon. I'm excited too!"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure." I looked over at Mari and Rei. Mari seemed to be explaining something to Rei, who looked speculative.

I strolled over. "Alright, girls, I have gotten some information out of our visitor." I pointed a thumb towards Rey. "It seems that even more time travel is involved. We may have another headache on our hands."

Rei rolled her eyes. "Oh fucking fan-tastic. This situation can't get more annoying than this, surely?"

I stared in horror. Mari palmed her face. "Rei-chan-" "Zerogoki-tan-"

We paused. Looked at each other. Shrugged. And continued in unison.

"-do not taunt Murphy!"

It was too late. The universe heard, and obliged. A loud BEEP came from a nearby console. Rey was at it in an instant. "Uh oh!"

I sighed, walking over. "How bad is it?"

Short answer, quite bad. The MAGI had ratted my lab out. A force of NERV personnel, all rather armed, was heading towards our location. Misato and Ritsuko were included. I grabbed Rey by the shoulders. "You. Can you travel without an active Dirac Bridge?"

She nodded. I exhaled and let her go. "Good. Stay here." I strode over to the Soul Recall Device and activated my AT-field. "Rei, Mari," I called out. "Smash everything. We are about to have company." I brought the AT-field down onto the machine, shattering it. I did the same with the Dirac Bridge. Smashing noises told me that the girls had listened.

And then the door was kicked open.

Misato strode in, flanked by Aoba and Hyuga, both armed. She was followed by Rits, flanked by Ibuki. Behind her... ah.

I had only seen him in Asuka's memories, in the last timeline. We were still recuperating in the Dirac Sea after Armisael's attack when he had arrived. Despite that, Rei and I recognized him immediately.

"Tabris," Rei growled.

Kaworu Nagisa smiled an infuriating smile as Misato looked confused for a moment. "Who- no, not important." She cleared her throat. "Evangelion Pilot Zero Akagi, I am placing you under arrest for causing Near-Third Impact. You have the right to remain silent."

I gaped incredulously. Gunmen took positions by the door, pointing their weapons at me. Behind me, Rei and Mari were moving slightly.

I found my voice. "Misato-san, what the fuck?"

There was a reaction there. A minute one. But then she glared at me. "You caused an Impact. You don't get to argue with that."

I glanced at Rits. "R-Rits-chan?"

She did not say anything. But she turned her head and looked away. I felt tears begin to gather in the corners of my eyes. "Please, Rits. Please do not abandon me."

She raised her head and looked me in the eye. She looked terrified. My eyes slid over to Misato. She looked cold.

I took a step forward. Guns were raised. Hammers were cocked. I narrowed my eyes. "I-is that how it is going to be?"

Misato narrowed her eyes. "You don't get to talk to me about betrayal, Angel."

My eyes widened.

She growled. "You. Caused. An. Impact. I trusted you!" She took a deep breath. "But now I see that my trust was misplaced. Surrender, Zero Akagi."

I took a step back, tears falling down my cheeks. "I..."

I was pushed aside. Rei stood next to me, snarling. "Oh look who's talking about betrayal, Judas Katsuragi. How much did Tabris promise you? What did you let yourself be bribed with? Was it thirty silver perhaps? All sorts of symbolic, dont'cha think?"

Misato- no, not Misato. Katsuragi looked down at her coolly. "Who're you, then? And who's Tabris?"

Rei's lips curled into a sneer. "I am Rei Zerogoki. I am Zero-chan's Big Sis Mom. I am a Nephilim. An Evangelion. And I will not allow you to break Zero-chan's heart!" She smiled. It was not a nice smile. "As for Tabris? He's standing right behind you. Can't miss him. Smug grin. Red eyes. Unusual hair." So much not a nice smile. "Tabris. Angel of Free Will."

She laid an arm across my shoulders. "And he does not get to touch my Zero. Oh Impos~tor!"

Another arm wrapped across my shoulders. Rey grinned from next to me. "Oh yessss."

Mari hugged me from behind. "I'm here."

POP

-----

I blinked. Suddenly and somehow, we had disappeared from what was left of my lab, and appeared in the outskirts of... Tokyo-2?

Rey let go of me and twirled around us. "There you go! What you do next, ya gotta figure out yourself. I'm out!"

I reached out. "Wait-" POP

I blinked. "What."

Rei, too, let go of me, and patted me on the shoulder. "Eh, don't worry. I'm sure Katsuragi will snap out of it soon. And if not," she shrugged, "Ritsuko will. And then probably defect."

She took a pose. "And then she'll join us, and we shall rule Japan together!"

I stared. "What."

Mari was still hugging me. I did not mind.

Rei rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. What else are we gonna do?"

It took us five years to figure that one out.

Spoiler: A/N

Well.

That happened.

And with this chapter, the Main Branch will go on hiatus. Don't worry, though; there's still Asuka's misadventures on Earth Bet and Rei's shenanigans in Halkeginia. Oh, and I may even also post some story-related art from time to time!

Until next time!

 

[TatsuZZMage]

Mmmm Crack Delicious crack, On a related topic maybe give the Asuka/Worm its own thread so this part doesn't get segregated to the Worm area.

 

[Ranma-sensei]

Mmmm Crack Delicious crack, On a related topic maybe give the Asuka/Worm its own thread so this part doesn't get segregated to the Worm area.

Click to shrink...

Why should it? It's a crossover, and only a side-story.

 

[Neruz]

Man Kaworu must be pissed that he didn't get to do his 'look at how awesome I am with my moon eva and my angel halo' entrance and save everyone from becoming collateral damage.

 

[Radmelon]

I both love and despise this fic's willingness to time-skip and to leave details unsaid. Almost gives me sorta homestuck vibes in that, and in how it's acting as a fanfic of a story that was never written.