74 – Flipping Robots and Coins
You know how sometimes in cartoons someone gets yelled at so hard that their hair flies backwards and it's like the people yelling are actually somehow producing gale force winds out of their throats? I've always wondered about what it would be like to be in that kind of situation from either side. Unfortunately, I'll have to keep wondering about that because while Tanya and Bingham are doing their level best my hair is kept in place by the fact that I am inhabiting a
robot body. Tanya is doing a weird fist clenching thing as she yells, Bingham has slapped his desk twice now, and neither seem to be letting up.
Now, to be fair to them, telling them that one of the biggest power players on the planet is a robot controlled by the enemy is a pretty hefty thing to drop on their desk. Obviously they needed proof. So obviously I provided it. I didn't print the stuff out of a printer hidden somewhere in my body since I didn't actually
have a printer in my body but I could order one made on the ship and
then use it. Tracking records of his movements, radio signals transmitted by his admittedly sophisticated brain back to the Japanese, scans of his body revealing the metallic insides, stuff from Tatsu's lab that I stole from his databanks…you know. The kind of unfairly specific and thorough information that only a guy with a world spanning satellites network and scanning systems that I could use. That sort of thing.
"I can't believe this," Bingham groans as he sits back in his chair, a hand going to his forehead as he looks over the documents I just provided him. "This entire time, the President of the United States has been an agent of an Empire that we didn't even realize was
there until now!"
"I've been in this thing's office," which is Tanya's contribution, an angry look on her face as she starts fiddling with her pistols, "It's given me
medals, it's offered me condolences when soldiers I know have
died, and this entire time it's been the fucking
Empire?"
"Yeah. Sucks, I guess. Anyone want some hot chocolate?"
Both of them glare at me for reasons I can't really be bothered to fathom.
"Oh fine,
beer then?"
"I can get my own alcohol, thank you," Bingham rustles around in the bottom drawers of his desk for a moment before he pulls out a flask and takes a pull of it. Then another. Then…oh, I guess he's just going to drink the whole thing. "Oh, god…"
I stare as he does it, Tanya joining me as she momentarily stops fiddling with her pistols before she snaps her fingers to make me look at her.
"These pants have some good pockets, but do I look like the kind of girl who brings beer with her onto the battlefield. Do you do requests?"
Pfft. Do I do requests.
"Whatcha want?"
"There's this place in Santa Monica, called
Haversham's Tavern. Tell them you want Barry's Regular."
I blink slowly even as I rotate a satellite ever so slightly to angle for teleport.
"Barry's Regular?"
She shrugs.
"I heard it's really good."
Yeah, ok.
"Back in a second."
Barry's Regular turned out to be a heart stopping burger, fries, and additional side as well as a frothing glass of beer. Not a regular glass either. It was a fucking bucket of a glass. Whoever this Barry guy was if he wasn't dead then this kind of meal would
make him dead. Now I wasn't sure if this was because anything that was vaguely 'American' such as big burgers was even more emphasized in this especially 'Murica of 'Muricas but honestly I didn't
want to see Tanya eat this whole thing.
I wanted to eat it.
So I ordered five, and decided to come back in a minute after I'd dropped off Tanya's order. When I popped back into Bingham's office he was actually on the phone with people coordinating a concerted push to retake and secure all territory that had ever been lost to the Soviet Union. And after drinking his whole thing of…oh he drank a thing of whiskey, not beer. Tanya on the other hand didn't even blink at the sight of me. I guess she's gotten used to it which is a little disappointing on some level.
"Hey, got your heart attack and drink for you," I put it on one of the little night stand things with a lamp on it which she casually pulls off and puts on the ground before her eyes light up at the sight of the food.
"Oh, awesome. I haven't eaten anything since we started this."
Huh. She's right.
"You know, not eating regularly isn't very healthy."
She's already drunk a quarter of her freaking gallon of beer before putting it down to glare at me again. So much glaring! These people have got to stop doing that so much or their faces will get stuck that way.
"I've seen you eat, don't talk to me about healthy eating."
Eh. She's got me there.
"Yeah, well, you guys have a plan for taking down the President yet? Or his secret military base at Mount Rushmore where he replaced the heads with crazy robot laser heads for defensive structures?"
Tanya sputters out a healthy helping of beer while Bingham slams his phone down.
"My
god man, have you no sense of decorum and timing?"
I…drank some more hot chocolate.
========================================
So instead of staggering anything else, I laid it all out for them. What is at Rushmore, the time travel thing which we brought Zelinsky in to confirm which he did while sweating a
lot, the remains of the chemical warfare project that the Soviets were doing with the desolators at Omsk, the location of the other Shoguns which wasn't hard to figure out once I located the private channels they reported to the Emperor on, each one of the major Soviet magnetic satellites from the tiny ones onto the huge ones that could outright make magnetic singularities, and just about everything else I could think that was relevant.
Except the FutureTech thing. Not…yet. They hadn't begun pulling their Uprising bull hockey just yet and so I was inclined to let them be. Technologically they were still a major part of the Allied war effort, financially they were one of the biggest employers in the Allied nations, and them collapsing right now wasn't going to be very good for a lot of people. I wasn't about to just stomp in and ruin their files and databanks and crush the whole of the company without good reason.
I know the damage that unrestrained electronic warfare can cause very well, and if I can avoid it…yeah.
At the end of it Tanya had finished her food, having remarkably did not fall into a coma, and was staring at the ceiling from her place on Bingham's couch while she contemplated…the universe I suppose. Bingham himself – should I call him Robert now that we've spent enough time together? – was doing pretty much the same thing as her and since he'd drunk all of his whiskey already meant that he had nothing else to do but stare blankly. I suppose it's not every day that…well…then again this is a universe with rather consistent time travel shenanigans.
While they're sitting here, contemplating their navels, I watch from the skies above from a thousand, thousand eyes as the Allies ever so slowly steamroll a rapidly collapsing Soviet Union. The Premier is gone. Their top commanders are gone. Political rivalries are exploding based on how individual commanders, captains, and generals are commanding their forces as if they were theirs alone and over in Siberia there's some actual infighting going on at a low level. Western Europe is going to be completely reclaimed by the end of the month of things keep going on this way.
The Empire…hmm. Yeah. Going to have to talk about
that.
"So, bad news chums, looks like the temporary setbacks of losing two major members of the Shogunate is over with."
Tanya lolls her head at me and slowly stretches as she leans forward again, the stomach bulge of all the food and drink she somehow put into herself still present. Bingham has to blink a few times before he resets as well.
"How…," he sighs and slowly begins rubbing his temples, "How so?"
"Your guys are probably going to come to you with this in a bit, but…my way is faster. So the Emperor thinks that Shinzo and Keiji are dead, even though we all know that I have them in custody instead –
Bingham starts, opens his mouth, and then sighs again and motions or me to continue. Polite dude, that guy.
"- which I can give you guys whenever you want so you can stick them in cryo, but anyway the Emperor is all mad that it happened and is using them to galvanize the remaining members of the Shogunate. He's even promoted some Rocket Angel to full on Shogun now, Takara Sato?"
Blank stares. Ok.
"Chief of the Rocket Angel 1
st Battalion? Eh, she wears the full suit a lot so I guess you shouldn't know her that well. Honestly, I think the only reason she's in the position she's in right
now is because they're down two Shoguns – not that she wasn't already a pretty good leader or anything like that."
"So they have a new Shogun," Tanya snorts, "So what?"
"Well, for one thing, Shirada," who they recognize, "Is currently leading a revitalized fleet to retake Vladivostok which…the Soviet's had just taken back before me and Tanya hit Oleg and Zhana."
It's interesting to see the looks on their faces. On the one hand, so Soviet territory get hits again. On the other, if they take it, then that means that the Empire gets access to a valuable port and rail lines into the eastern Soviet Union – such as it is currently. Not to mention potential collateral damage though the civilians have not actually yet
returned to Vladivostok due to the fact that the Soviets really had only
just retaken it. I'm guessing having basically their entire leadership gutted within less than twenty four hours has yet to really sink into the Union.
"Well that's not-,"
"Takara is leading her forces west and, I don't know if you know this, but uh…they took Beijing a few…," check the timetables…, "Hours ago. Captured the…well, a lot of their top government officials."
"Heaven help us."
I shrug. It was a pretty lightning offensive. While we were nabbing the Soviets, the Empire was gearing up. I mean…I knew they were doing it but…the Soviets could…well honestly I thought that China could handle themselves. They aren't part of the Allies, but aren't part of the Union either. Closer to the latter than the former due to their communist leanings and what not but still. They have a pretty hefty military if outdated a bit as is with most of the communist nations. Or I guess I should say have. Biggest deployment of the Rocket Angels that I've ever seen the Empire ever use to date.
"Based on the broadcasts that Yoshiro is making…I guess they've kind of switched from 'world domination' to 'Asian' domination…which includes the pacific islands and maybe Australia. New Zealand too."
More like he lost a huge chunk of his forces without really 'dominating' the West like he'd thought he would. Hell the fighting over Vladivostok and Vorkuta are basically it for their territorial gains in Russia but that's about it. For all of their words and tech and whatever, the Empire tried to go up against one of the most stubborn dogs in the world and one of their favorite bones. Even with the Union crumbling they're still heavily fortifying the port, sent a huge chunk of their fleet.
Honestly?
Force concentration alone makes me wonder if Shirada might still lose despite the lack of a truly experienced Russian commander. That Ukranian lady hasn't even really shown up yet, she looks like she's just a captain still. Rising rapidly in the meantime though considering the lack of actual other competent leaders. I mean…they've got a few but without me knowing specific names and groups like usual anyone who comes up to the top is going to be entirely new to me. Which might actually be a bit interesting.
"They even went through the effort of redirecting that Shogun Executioner of theirs east. It's making a mess of every Soviet military base within reach on the way though."
Big thing is way too heavy for them to just transport it elsewhere. Unless maybe they dragged it with a whole hell of a lot of helicopters but the current method of 'stomp Union military bases on the way' thing is working just fine for them. I have to admit though, the electronically boosted repairing nanotechnology that they put into it is pretty crazy powerful. Only thing is…once the Executioner hits a force that doesn't mainline Tesla tech then it's definitely going to run into some trouble.
"I hate the Soviets, but even I have to say that thing is a little excessive," Tanya murmurs before she stands up and stretches some more.
"It's a monstrous machine, but for the moment it isn't our problem," Bingham finally seems to have gotten some energy in him. "The communists can handle the Empire for now however they like,
we on the other hand are going to have to deal with the fact that the President of the United States is a god forsaken
robot!"
Hey now, nothing's wrong with robots. Most of the time.
"You guys wanna see the designs on his secret Rushmore base?"
It's rhetorical, I'm already slapping photos onto Bingham's table with a fair bunch of blueprints too. Since the Allies didn't actually succeed at Gibraltar and the cease fire fell through with the Soviets he hasn't built it up as much but he has built enough for it to show up on satellite. Enough to make Bingham go through his list of British curses at least and for Tanya to throw in a few of her own.
"Anyway, I don't know if there's like a protocol for this but do you guys have a plan for getting rid of him without, like killing him? That'd probably look bad."
Based on the looks their giving each other they might actually have a plan. If they do though then it's not something that they've put into a computer or something.
"Tanya has made me aware of your…capabilities when it comes to electronic warfare."
Her response to my look is to shrug. She seems to be doing that a lot around me. Eh, whatever.
"Oh, yeah, I guess. Empire tech isn't that hard for me to get down. Why?"
More shifty looks…
"We'd prefer if we didn't panic the people. Or cause a collapse in the United States, it could be disastrous if it got out that they had elected a
robot infiltrator to the position of President."
"So…," I gesture for Bingham to continue but he's staying quiet.
I mean. Technically I was born in the US, but this isn't
my US. I'm for the Allies winning, which doesn't just mean one country after all.
Wait. Hold on.
What are those Imperials doing in Tiananmen Square?
"What, you want me to take command of the robot and have it go kill itself in a car wreck or something?"
"Uh. Something like that, I guess."
The Japanese just started executing protesting Chinese civilians.
"I'll be honest guys, this seems like a plan you threw together on a whim. Tell you what, I'm gonna
go…for a bit, and you can call me back whenever you've got something really concrete."
"Hey wait a minute you can't just-,"
====================================
In the time it took me to teleport from Great Britain to China, the Imperials had already killed five of their ten prisoners. All members of the government, cabinet level. Single shots to the head. In front of crowds of Chinese people who had been corralled and forced to watch as the Japanese talked about their superiority and how it was time for all in Asia to fall under the divine banner of Japan.
No.
"Well hey there guys," I don't bother changing my appearance, "Looks like someone decided to be
assholes."
Fifteen soldiers, all under the colloquial 'Imperial Warrior' banner. Eight tankbuster troops with rifles at the ready. A full ten rocket angels in the air to watch over everything. Even two tsunami tanks right behind the hastily erected stage in which the Empire decided to make a show of overturning the government of china. Every single one of them zeroed in on me the moment I appeared in front of the stage. I can only wonder what they think of me, of this purposefully ragged bathrobe I wear and the cup of hot chocolate in my hand.
I…haven't really taken a look at chronosphere technology too much but even I know that it wouldn't really…make sense to travel back in time and try to solve every single mistake. I could go to Moscow and rip of Zelinksy's time machine –
will go there soon – but I can't just rewrite time every time something like this happens. One death changed history, and when you went forward in time things had changed such that it was impossible to really walk back every change that resulted. Hitler, Einstein, look at how war had changed each time.
"God damn, less than a day into this invasion of yours and your already executing people."
My voice was modulating weirdly. It was supposed to be the same usual Guy calm. Why wasn't my voice calm?
"What, to show your superior over the Chinese? Gonna set up Death Marches next? Rape a village?"
That…was definitely anger. As I realize that, however, the lead one of the rocket angels flying overhead broadcasts to me, and just about everyone else in the square. And, I realize, the rest of the Empire of the Rising Sun. They have cameras all over the place here, they…oh for fucks sake they were broadcasting executions to their populace?! What the
fuck!
"Who the hell are you?"
That…tell me that's not…it
is, it's Sato herself. She came in person. Wonderful.
I mean…I get it. Kind of. Mass militant nationalism. Xenophobia. Militant superiority complex that they are
literally attempting to impose on the whole world right
now mixed with religious destiny assumptions. Zelinsky never did his time machine talk to the President, so they never had that little breakdown so for right now Yoshiro is still secure in the idea of his 'divine vision'. So it makes sense that they would impose themselves upon those they conquer in the manner they find appropriate when dealing with inferiors – aka everyone.
I could disappear here. I came here on half an impulse. God…I haven't fed Dude in a bit. Thank goodness I can multitask in attention and in voice.
"I am…The Guy. You probably don't know me too well," I say to Sato and…I guess the Empire, while at the same time the speakers on the ship activate. "Yuriko? Yuriko."
Sato puts her hands on her hips, while Yuriko who appears to be in a chocolate coma blearily wakes up.
"I don't
care who you are. You are interfering in official Imperial business," is her
extremely snooty reply.
Yuriko, in turn, responds by snorting slightly and wiping the various chocolate wrappers off of her and the bed with a jerky swipe of her powers.
"What…what is it, Guy?"
"Can you check on Dude? I've been gone for a bit and she needs attention every now and then," I say to her while she begins cleaning herself up, while to Sato I am…less gentle sounding. "Imperial business is executing civilians now without trial or anything approaching humane treatment? I can see the bruises on them from
here."
Sato actually does me the favor of flying closer, the photon rocket pods on her armor flickering with what I assume is deadly intent.
"They resisted the divine destiny of the Empire. All must surrender, or be destroyed. It is quite simple,
boy. They did not surrender," I swear I can hear her saccharine smile, "And so the Emperor wills them destroyed."
Boy? I have to look over my body again because I'm reasonably sure that the age is somewhere between twenty and thirty. Is it the lack of grey or beard?
"The cow needs petting? She's not a cat, Guy," Yuriko says to the walls while I formulate my response to Sato.
"Ah c'mon, Yuriko."
It takes her a moment but eventually she nods and I teleport her up. Dude almost immediately responds and slowly putters her way over with a curious 'moo'. Good. That's done. Now I can focus on Sato.
"Well, firstly, I'm older than
you, oh Shogun. Secondly?"
I can't stop staring at the cooling blood on the stage. On the terrified expressions of the remaining cabinet members. Of the holes I can see in the skulls of the other five who are already dead, the holes I can see
into.
"Secondly…"
Vladivostok is under fire at this very moment. They opened up with a salvo of Shogun Battleship blasts. The Soviets have the numbers but they respond sluggishly without true leadership. What happens if I don't do something? Do I show up again when the Japanese start executing Russian prisoners? Honest to god the Soviets are cartoonish and cruel but the Empire is a more brutal kind of polity. I can see it in their mission briefings, their decisions in the field over every battlefield they've fought, the tactics they use. The Allies will crush you but then drag you back up and into their embrace. The Soviets will crush you and do the same but with bears and a bit more threatening looks.
The Empire will just…crush people who get in their way. I can see it. Hell I'm seeing it right
now.
"Secondly…"
In my head, I think all these things, and more at speeds that would crumple and organic mind. Weighing pros and cons. This isn't New York, but it's another impulse decision. I showed up there and ruined the Empire's efforts there but it was solely blamed on Tanya and Fuller. This will be the first time I would openly mess with the Empire. I'm sure cameras and what not have sighted me around the world at least a little despite my usual 'cleaning' efforts after me and Yuriko passed through. I weigh pros and cons and then discard the idea of pros and cons when facing people who run around executing people like this, without even attempting trials.
But
god do I not want to do any of this, these things I'm thinking of. I want to go to lay in a pile of pillows. I want to drink hot chocolate, eat some pizza, watch some TV. Hell I'll take almost any kind of TV right now. An…
enormous part of me is urging me to do just that. To leave. To continue lazing about forever. It wouldn't be hard, a little bit of nudging here and there, and I could just leave.
But I'm here. Already. And I've got a coin in my free hand, the other one is busy holding my mug.
"Secondly? Fuck your flesh and blood
not god Emperor and the non-divine wind he farted himself in on."
You could hear a pin drop across China and every place where the Empire has been broadcasting this 'heroic' and 'inspiring' feed of them brutalizing their 'lessers'. I'm sure Sato is gaping inside of her helmet, but in the meantime with everyone distracted I flip the coin. Heads, I openly start fucking up the Empire. Tails, I back off here and now. It was a mistake anyway. How can I remain in the shadows if I just start pulling this sort of thing? Wrong.
Wrong. Fuck I'm so stupid. I mean they can't hurt
me but they can hurt plenty more people in the time it would take me to do it, and that doesn't even take into account what might happen to Japan if I hit them as hard as I can. I could try to mitigate that
too.
On the
other hand of that other hand…sometimes…can violence even be the answer? Sometimes words aren't enough. I know that. Sometimes you have no other recourse. I mean…I have plenty though.
But-
The coin lands on my palm.
"…huh. Heads."
I blink. The imperial soldiers pointing their guns at me blink. Probably some other people too.
"You-,"
Takara Sato doesn't manage another word before I bring her and the rest of her rocket angels down to the ground. Before I blink again and every rocket angel in Beijing, in
China, in the
world are rerouted, and my control established while I lock out the pilots. The tank turrets whir and turn, while Sato's suit abruptly flies up and turns around to face her own troops. I think I can hear her screaming as I have her fire on her own, knocking them to the ground but killing none of them. As I have the rocket angels across her entire army fire on their own troops to do the same. For those who I can't directly control in that manner, I teleport. All of them.
Away. From the North Sea to Vladivostok to here, I make them all leave, sending everyone back to Japan but forcing them to leave their weapons and armors.
To Fuji, to Tokyo, to their other Floating Fortresses, to the oceans in Tokyo Bay. The angels are ejected from their suits, but I keep the technology with me. The pilots within the tsunami tanks, within the VX choppers and walkers, within the King Oni, within every machine they have. From their tiny subs to their battleships, I rip them out of their own vehicles and land them all around Japan. Some in the countryside, others not so much. They, to a man and woman, begin flailing as some fall out of the air, and others are removed from sitting positions to dirt and mud.
I dismiss her angels, but I come for Sato herself. It would be child's play to kill her with her own suit. To teleport her out of it into space.
But I didn't kill the last two Shoguns I came up against. Instead I reach down and rip open her armor with my bare hands, the skin covering around them tearing slightly and openly showing my false blood. Sato is wide eyed, mid yell, and even then she tries to kick me in the head and balls with one leg each the moment she's free. It…doesn't really matter to me right now. I grab her and then throw her out of sight of the cameras into an alleyway only a dozen feet or so away. Before any of the cameras can try to reorient I've teleported her up to the ship and into a coffin that I timelock right next to Shinzo and Keiji. The bloodthirsty Shirada gets yanked up out of her own ship before she can even finish yelling an order.
All in all, removing all of Japan's forces from Vladivostok and China takes me and grabbing two more Shogun…forty three seconds.
…I teleport the now empty ships, tanks, power armors, robots, and so on and so forth on top of and around the White Tiger where it still sits in New York before I leave for my ship.
This day is…
way too heavy for me right now.
=====================================
"So what do you think of Dude?"
Yuriko jumped slightly at the sound of Guy showing up out of nowhere, but not nearly as much as she had at the beginning of their…relationship? Friendship? Acquaintance? Either way, she was full of chocolate but Dude was full of grass.
"I like her," she replied honestly, "She is…very peaceful. Cows do not constantly think of war, or fighting, or death at all, really. Not that she thinks very much like you and I would. She's a
cow."
Guy…looked tired. Like he had only a few times before. But instead of remarking on it, Yuriko merely patted the grass next to her where she sat and lay against Dude who herself was also laying on her side. The cow had been vaguely interested in the young Japanese psychic but after a little bit decided to lay down rather than snuffle at her. Or perhaps this was a sign of trust? Yuriko didn't precisely know but it wasn't like the cow was providing clear images for her. Just…vague impulses and thoughts to do one thing or the other.
For instance, right now Dude was sleeping.
Taking her gesture for what it was, Guy slid down and lay against Dude next to Yuriko, and deeply sighed.
"So…," Yuriko stared at the stars above them, the ship having angling itself so that she could see Earth from her deck meant by necessity that Dude's deck was facing the stars and sun. "How was your day?"
"Exhausting. I don't wanna go down there for like, a week."
Yuriko nodded and folded her hands in her lap as she contemplated space, Guy, Dude, and everything else.
"Then…don't?"
"Eh?"
"Then don't," she repeated. "They can't make you do anything. Only
you can make you do something."
"Well, yeah, but-," Guy quieted as she flicked his forehead with her mind.
"You flip between not caring at all and caring too
much, I think."
"How could you-,"
She flicked his head again, a bit stronger this time.
"I," she savored this moment, "am
psychic."
This time the Guy coughed, and coughed again until he started outright laughing.
"Yeah…yeah I guess."
"Tell you what," she patted him on the leg, "Let's just stay here and look at the stars for a bit. If you go mad from the stress of, I presume, destroying my former leash holders and the Soviet Union, then who will feed me? Or Dude?"
That got him, and he finally settled more on the grass, his head on Dude's back.
"…yeah."
