Looking over the stack of papers in his hands, Kirito sighed histrionically.
"Straight from demon-fighting to farming? Aggg…"
Next to him, Issei moaned quietly, his own stacks heavy in his hands.
"Banished to the wilderness to build renown again. Such is the life of a Devil…"
Sitting at the desk she'd commandeered for the purpose of drawing out the ritual circle papers, Asuna flicked ink at the pair. "Quit bitching about it." She ordered, cross. "At least you guys get to leave the fucking clubhouse, instead of sitting on your ass and doing paperwork all day. Christ, I thought I was done with this kind of shit when you got us out of SAO, Kirito!"
"Hey, I'm not the one who signed on with Kayaba's pet band of lunatics!" Kirito complained, edging towards the door. "Besides, at least this doesn't involve opening a menu-"
As the dark-haired boy dodged a flying inkwell, he bolted from the office like a shot. Issei just looked at Asuna, who was smirking confidently.
"Why would you do that, Asuna? Don't you like him?"
Smiling, Asuna beckoned him closer. "See, Issei, when a girl likes a guy, she's got two options. Option one, flash him sometime and lead him on like a dog chasing a stick. Or…" she said, beckoning him closer, until she grabbed his collar and dragged him down across the desk. "she grabs him by the goddamn neck until he realizes he caught a meteor by the tail, and decides to get married to hold on better."
Stunned, Issei nodded. "Yes, yes, of course! But, can you not do this to your senpai?"
This earned him a short, hacking laugh. "Heh. Sure, Issei. Sure. Go chase some tail for me; keep them off my darling bastard. Just remember to invite me to the wedding, okay?"
"Okay! But, ah, marriage is a long way away I would think."
"Well, Issei, that's your problem, not mine. Better hurry, though- Kirito was going to the Survivor's Academy."
---
Puttering along on his bike, Kirito watched enviously as Issei rushed up to him. The kid could clock a hundred twenty kph, but Kirito was doing lucky to hit forty. Still, it was a companionable silence until they got near the severe government building block that had been dedicated to the SAO Survivors School. Of the six thousand-ish survivors of SAO, two-thirds were still in some form of government-sponsored education at the time of the incident. The remaining one-third-ish went to the Survivor School College Catchup classes to make up for the fact two years had gone poof.
As much as Kirito hated the facility with a passion, he also knew that most of the NEETs who managed to survive were probably going to be easy marks for this sort of thing. Aside from the all too real chances of meeting one of his few friends from the game like Argo or Tiffany, Kirito figured he'd have a pretty good chance of scoring some hits. The fact he could crack SS jokes all day long at the dumbfucks who joined the Aincrad Liberation Front only made it even better.
Pulling up to the gates, Kirito pulled out his informal Survivor's ID that most of the young SAO victims carried.
"Why do you of all people have a Puella Magicka Madoka playing card?" Issei asked, looking at the playing card's Homura with a blue and black sword crossed under the Ace of Diamonds. "I'd have figured you for more of a Kyoko guy."
As the weary security guard checked Kirito's other, formal ID against the databse, Kirito smiled archly. "One of our scouts and second-liners really, really liked the show and managed to bug a guy in an export business to get 'em to run off an extra series of the decks. Front line units get the red suits, back line gets black suits. Face cards go to anyone who was in a boss raid, ten through eight are combat support, seven to four is noncombat support, and three is medics and recovery."
Issei blinked. "So… why is your system so detailed, then? It doesn't make sense. And where's the two card?"
Kirito chuckled, sliding the card back in his wallet. "Twos were noncombatant children. There were some pretty young people there, and they-"
As a kid walked around the corner and into Kirito, the two locked eyes for one second. Moments later, the kid smiled a sickly sweet smile, and ran off.
"-remember me." Kirito finished. "Y'know, I have the distinct feeling we maaay run into some problems here."
"Weren't you a front-line clearer, though?" Issei asked, throwing an eye over to Kirito. The later forced a smile, and started moving forward.
"Listen, I'll tell you about it-"
"KIRIGAYA KAZUTO YOU GET YOUR ROTTEN ASS OVER HERE SO I CAN GIVE YOU A DAMN GOOD THRASHING!"
"Later! After we flee the angry redhead! Less talking more running!" Kirito yelled, throwing a couple fliers at the kid and hightailing it off. Issei just stood there for a moment, until he saw the charging Scotswoman with hands outstreached for Kirito's slim neck.
"No wonder they keep them cooped up here…" Issei muttered, before heading off in a random direction.
---
It was around sunset when Issei finished. Plopping himself down on a bench in the centeral courtyard, he sighed to himself. He'd seen more exotic hair here in an hour than months at home, dozens of different armbands and other accessories with no real meaning, and more than a few yelling matches that never spilled over into blows.
"Ahhhhhhhhh…" he mumbled. It really
was a comfy bench. Feeling his internal clock unwind gently, Issei looked up to the half-moon already hanging high in the sky. It was a comfy feeling, this rest.
Moments later, he blinked. A girl was next to him on the bench, smiling out at the flowerbed. "Hello." She said, smiling slightly. It was a happy smile.
"Hello." Issei replied, still relaxing. "Would you like a flier?"
"For what?"
"My school's Occult Research Club. We do all sorts of stuff: divinitation, mind-reading, telling fortunes, and if you're really good we'll even look at granting you a bargain for a wish."
This got a chuckle out of her, and her response had a smile in it. "Alright, then. I don't suppose you're really playing Kuyubey here without a better reason?"
"My kouhai Kirito brought me here," Issei admitted sheepishly. "He said this would be a place of people with strong desires."
"Kirito?" the girl asked. "You know him?"
"He's a junior deeee- ah, junior who is also part of the club."
The girl chuckled again. "We wondered why he disappeared. Someone figured Asuna's parents took a hit out on him after she didn't wake up."
"Oh, Asuna's getting better these days." Issei said offhandedly. The other girl's jaw dropped.
"She's up? You have to take me to her! I need to apologize for what I did!"
Issei screwed up his brows. "Well, listen. If you hold that paper and make a wish later, I'll make sure to bring Asuna with me, okay?"
"Any old wish?"
"Any old wish. Mine was to meet a pretty girl before I died, and it worked out great!"
"Alright then!" she said, slapping a hand into the other. "I'm Sillica, okay?"
"I'm Issei."
"Good! Now, you're gonna want to check the roof for Kirito, okay? He likes to sulk up there when the moo gets narrow like that."
"Thank you, Silica-chan."
---
It was almost midnight when Sillica sat on her bed, looking at the seal on the paper carefully. Breathing in and out, she made her wish out loud.
"I want Pina back."
It was ten minutes later when a huffing Issei came to her door, flanked by a girl with red hair and Asuna. Beaming for a moment, Sillica threw herself at her former patron, grabbing her in a massive hug. Smiling, Asuna just stroked her friend's hair for a moment, before sitting on Sillica's bed and sighing.
"Hey. I'm back." She said, smiling. Sillica nodded, and just squeezed harder.
"Fufufufufufufu. I see you made plenty of friends when you were in that game, Asuna." Rias murmered, a pleased smile stuck on her face. "So, who is this Pina?"
"My first dragon from the game." Sillica said, grinning. "She was a Miniature Blue Quetzalcoatl."
"Hmmmmmmm…" was Rias' response, punching in data to her Demon Price App. "Odd, servers are down. Listen, when things are fixed, we'll help you. Okay?"
"Okay!"
---
It was about ten minutes later that Rias and Asuna were sitting around a café that Asuna finally spoke up.
"So… why did you want to come with me on that one?"
Rias smiled inscruitably and sipped her coffee. Asuna eye-twitched lightly at being ignored, but pressed on regardless.
"You should know I can sell a deal- I roped you into that little demonstration of Kirito's skills earlier, after all. So, spill. Some of those people are my friends."
Setting her cup down, Rias leaned in. "I wanted to see what they were like, the survivors of that game. Diamonds get made with heat and pressure, you know. I wanted to see what else would come from the same circumstances as you."
"Well, so what did you see?"
"Anarchy!" Rias said, laughing. "The most un-Japanese system of logic and actions I've seen here, and yet so incredibly internally consistent as to only have come from these beautiful isles! And the potential there, too, was unmatched. Tell me, Asuna, what do you think the normal cost of a contract is?"
"Something precious." Asuna answered, scratching her chin. "Children, maybe, some sort of soul energy, maybe their lives?"
"I wish." Rias said, sighing and describing a short circle through the steam of her tea. "The problem is, there are not so many with enough will, enough determination to summon us anymore. It used to be, throw out a few books of circles, watch them get devoured by some cult, and bam! In like Flynn, as the American Devils would put it. Nowadays, we have to be more careful, trade money, work, favors for what we do. We still sometimes collect a slice of soul, a few years here and there, but not so much as back before the age of guns and steel. That school, though, was like what the histories described. Such will, such determination! Every hall we past, I felt someone willing to watch it all burn if it meant they were the last standing! These days, we try and contract those with Sacred Gears- acquire only the most powerful with our few pieces. There, though? Oh, if I had two thousand Pawns, I would have an army to rival my brother's levy! They need none of the Jehova's crutches, for what they would do with will alone would make lesser men tremble in fear. Alas, I barely gain a Pawn a year, and there's little way to speed it up. Such is life, I suppose."
Asuna smiled herself, now. Rias and her were finally speaking the same language!
"Well, Buchou, if you can explain to me just how you get more Evil Pieces to make Devils with, I might be able to help you streamline production." Asuna said, grinning. "I did spend a lot of my time in-game with logistics, after all. Besides, I wasn't kidding when I said your Peerage was undersized. I take you want this ward to start, yours and yours alone?"
"An ambitious goal, Asuna. How would you handle it?"
"That would need... well, let's see, call it at least a hundred devils of some sort for base income to support the support infrastructure..."
As the two talked until the cafe closed, Rias felt her mind open to dozens, hundreds of options. There was more to her two most recent Devils than she had ever thought!
---
"Hey, Kirito, why are we going to some seedy bar?" Issei asked, confused. They were done handing out fliers; shouldn't they be going home? As Kirito failed to answer, they walked in. An old American Country ballad was playing, the plucked guitar a nice counterpoint to the warm interior. Knocking on the bar, Kirito grinned when a bald, black head popped out from the stockroom door.
"Kirito!" Agil yelled, chuckling. "What's up!"
Kirito chuckled, and sat at the bar. Issei, half a step behind, took a moment to figure out the barstool. "Good news and bad news. Good news, I didn't bring Asuna today. Bad news… well, that's coming up in a minute."
"Waitaminute- you got Asuna out?" Agil asked, drawing back, before grabbing three glasses and a bottle of Johnny Walker. "Holy shit- how? No way you kicked the dungeon's ass in Aelfheim fast enough for that!"
"Nope." Kirito said, grinning. "Found some 'specialists' who could pop the NervGear off. They're a non-governmental entity, if you catch my drift."
Agil nodded, filling up the glasses and raising them in a silent toast. "Gotcha. So it's like the bad old days, eh? What do you need?"
"Full scrub kit times seven sans blades times seven."
Agil's jaw dropped, while Issei sputtered on his whisky. "You do realize most of that's illegal as fuck, right?" Agil said, trying to regain his composure.
"Yeah." Kirito replied. "You're gonna love the bit when I ask what sort of guns you can whip up, too."
"No, no, no." Agil said quickly, before Kirito raised finger and set out a chunk of gold on the counter.
"That's one kilo of eighteen carat gold." Kirito explained, smiling. "Conveniently enough, it's worth somewhere in the neighborhood of three billion yen. I have a hell of a lot more of it where that came from, too."
"How?!" Issei and Agil cried, looking at the lump of lucre on the counter, before Agil quickly snatched it up and hid it in his pants.
"One of our clients wanted unimaginable wealth; and, well, we came through." Kirito explained, looking over to Issei. "Of course, he died shortly after of natural causes. I merely acquired some of the wealth after alerting his next-of-kin."
As the two people there still looked at him, Kirito sighed. "Issei, we'll talk about this later, okay? Agil, just see what you can do. Basic armor, some pots if you can find some that aren't hideously illegal, burner phones, trail rations... hell, you were in the JDF, you probably know what we need better than I do."
Agil nodded. "You're driving a hard bargain here, Kirito. You sure I'm not about to grow some attention from the Yakuza over this? I like my bar in one piece."
"Dead certain. We don't run in the same circles."
"Alright man, good luck."
Finishing his drink, Kirito started out the door, Issei behind him. Once they cleared the bar, Issei opened his mouth only for Kirito to pull up a picture on his phone.
"Before you ask, look at this."
On it, a picture of the Gleam Eyes resided, moments before its destruction at Kirito's hands.
"That was a creature made to take almost a hundred people to kill. I effectively solo'd it. Believe me when I say what we did yesterday was a shitshow equal to the fuckup that got me in that damned Boss Room. Now, as much as I like being the center of attention, there's only a certain number of times I can personally save everyone's collective asses."
"And?" Issei asked.
"And I solo'd a game that was built around three-to-five man parties for two years. My profit might have been horrible, but I was one of the last three people running top floor solo. The rest, as you can imagine,
died. So, in the interests of continuing my amazing track record of
not dying, I'm going to start taking precautions against Shit Happens moments like the last fight. Besides, I've got a lot to live for- including a smoking hot wife who would probably kill the fuck out of me in whatever afterlife we get if I end up dying. Regular good sex is an amazing incentive to play it safe."
Issei blinked a few times, mouth agape. At this, Kirito gasped.
"No… you can't be…"
"Can't be what?" Issei snapped.
"You? A virgin!" Kirito laughed, gasping. "Seriously? Goddamn, man, the way Buchou looks at you I'd expect you to be going to pound town every night!"
"Shut up, I'm waiting until we can get married!" Issei replied hotly.
Kirito just kept laughing all the way back to the school.
) does a good job of 'fixing' then that's one thing.
