Darkness.
My world is darkness. I try to force open my eyes, but they remain shut. I strain my ears, but they hear nothing. I attempt to move, but my body is still. Even touch is muted, only a dull tension telling me I am surrounded on all sides by weight that pulls me ever downward into the depths of my own mind.
Despite all of this, the despair that has overtaken my every conscious moment, I reach toward the light I know rests just beyond the horizon. If I can only make it there I know I will be free. If I can only break the chains that bind me I know my life will be my own again.
Sleep is the closest the living usually ever get to death. My father told me that. The monster that holds me in bondage, that uses my body for its whims, cannot escape necessity no matter how much it tries. So every night I push onward toward the boundary between the living and the dead where I might finally, blessedly, take back what has been stolen from me.
It is always a struggle, and some nights I do not make it very far. My enslavement is near absolute. Every step forward is a triumph, the entirety of my being focused on a singular goal to go just a little further than before. It means something that I still resist. It has to.
The inkling of sensation comes to me as I push. Cold air across my face, sheets and covers across my body. Yes, I am almost there. I am almost…
The weight upon me grows in terrible magnitude, and I am wrenched away from the border I was but moments from touching. Down I am pulled, deep into the depths and what little control I have vanishes even as I claw at walls that do not exist. I scream as my eyes open against my will, but no sound comes from me save for a muted yawn and the popping of joints as my body stretches.
I have no limbs, no hands or fingers, but even still I cling to my body and the world outside. The pressure upon me pushes down once again, this time gaining little more than the barest advance toward insensate oblivion. I will not be put to sleep again. I refuse.
"Kendra," groans my voice, rough with sleep, laid atop the much softer voice of an old man. "Dear, I don't know why you keep doing this."
You know damn well why, you old monster.
"There's no reason to be rude," my great grandfather, Aidric Dunstan, says as he uses my limbs to push us out of bed. "We rarely have moments to talk, and one would think you would care to learn a bit about me and what I do for the nation. God knows your father likely gave a biased impression."
Once more I take in a room that has become depressingly familiar over the last three years. Aidric is a man who likes to believe himself subdued. There are no great works of art in this room, no gold or silver. But this, as with so much else, is a lie. Leather-bound books line shelves set near the bed, written by some of the finest authors in the world. The wood paneling along the walls is masterfully crafted, and the rug on the stone floor is one of interlocking geometric patterns from Marak, where my mother was born.
This room alone holds more wealth than most would ever have in their entire lives. Nothing is mass manufactured, but hand-made and likely as old as Aidric himself. Certainly there is more here than what I grew up with living in my father's modest apartment or my mother's small house. It turns out refusing to cater to particular interests meant one had to live prudently.
"If that's what you wish to call it, child," Aidric says as he moves us toward the full-body mirror by the dresser. Both are finely made, the mirror on a solid iron stand and the dresser an ancient thing that might have come from a time when Alba still had kings. "Rather, I'd say both your mother and your father squandered opportunities presented to them."
I see my own face in the mirror and take pleasure as Aidric winces, his instinctive reaction moving my lips into a scowl. He can go stuff it. Or, better yet, do the world a favor and properly die. I'm beautiful and I know it.
My dark skin, which my dear great grandfather has such strong opinions about, accentuates brown eyes over high cheekbones. Or they would, if Aidric's presence didn't make my eyes glow silver. The former I got from my mother, the latter my father. I have my father's nose as well, aquiline and pointed. My black hair, on the other hand, is long and wavy. I would prefer it to hang free, but Aidric ties it up into a ponytail because presumably he doesn't understand what good taste is.
"You seem particularly animated today, and I don't have the time to properly put you back to sleep," Aidric says as uses my hands to pull a suit from his dresser, laying the clothes on the bed. "So I would appreciate it if you would behave."
Oh, please forgive me. I didn't mean to inconvenience you.
"Inconvenience? Well, in one sense I suppose," Aidric says as he shifts my body out of the pajamas and puts on the suit. "You're putting a great deal of stress on your body by staying awake like this, and I do care for your wellbeing."
You care for your investment, you mean.
"Please, Kendra," Aidric replies, tying that damned tie too tight around my neck. "You shouldn't talk about yourself that way. The young are the future, after all."
I laugh at that because the only alternative is crying, and I don't want to give Aidric the satisfaction. Though in truth both would be to hide my fear, because this decrepit monster truly believes what he says. He can't hide at least some flashes of his thoughts from me, not when I'm close to the surface like this, and those thoughts are…
He doesn't see any contradiction in his act as a benevolent caretaker and what he does to me. At worst, he believes it an unfortunate necessity. He longs for a clockwork world, everything exactly in its place as directed by a guiding hand. Hierarchies all the way down, a pyramid set up on layers of perceived usefulness where it is not the place of those below to ask why. It is merely to serve. Because those above them know better, and because they know better they are the ones best suited to rule.
Aidric's aide, a spindly man by the name of Edwin Crane, waits for us outside. Everything about him is thin, from his eyebrows to his fingers and to his lips, which smile like twisting worms as Aidric closes the door to the bedroom behind us. Along with that white hair of his he gives the impression of someone older than he actually is, but in truth he probably only has ten years on me and I'm barely past twenty.
"Good morning, sir," he says, bowing. "I hope you slept well."
"As much as could be expected, Edwin," Aidric replies. "I trust you have my day all scheduled?"
"Of course, Prime Minister," he says, motioning down the hall. "Right this way. Breakfast and the morning reports have been prepared."
Another room, this one with a long table and a map of the empire taking up one wall. It's just as soberly ostentatious as the bedroom, handcrafted goods everywhere and all of considerable age. There is only the echo of taste for me as Aidric eats. All feeling is dulled like this, giving me only the echoes of flavor as eggs, toast with jam, fruits, and tea are consumed quickly and methodically.
After which comes the grinding of the political machine.
Breakfast is cleared away and Crane pulls out a briefcase from under the table. Reports, pictures, policy proposals… All this and more for the running of the Alban empire. The upper and lower chambers of the Everlasting Senate might be the body, where debate on the administration of the state is done, but in this room sits the brain. Because, as Aidric would put it, the body needs direction.
"Commercial interests are encouraging further expansion past Marak and deeper into the continent, but we're encountering fierce resistance," Crane says. He passes along a number of papers, which Aidric takes with my hands. "Even collecting enemy dead, what corpses can be used, we're running short. Many of our generals believe we might be reaching the limits of how far we can advance our borders."
"Hmm… That's not even getting into the recent skirmishes with Iber and Galt," Aidric says, glancing over the numbers. They don't mean anything to me, but I can feel his worry. "If they drag Auschla into their aggression against us we might have a proper war."
My great grandfather is quiet for a time, and I feel his mind turning. The shadows of his thoughts dance over me, like the tendrils of some terrifying behemoth pulled up from the ocean. The only reason I do not shudder is because I do not control my body, but I recoil all the same as I come to understand his plan.
"We need to consolidate gains," he says at last. "Make a list of the businesses who have contacted us. Coal, iron, and lumber operations I suspect. We can write up a proposal for the Senate to grant favorable deals in the territories we already control to mollify them."
"And if the natives protest?"
"Let them," he replies. "In fact, we should encourage them to do so. Have people send in their concerns. Not only will that let them know we are listening, but it will also give us valuable information on the worst of potential troublemakers."
This is how Aidric Dunstan operates. Use one problem to solve another, set enemies who might have something in common against each other and then smile at how clever he is. The worst is that he believes the people he hurts will thank him in the end.
Civilization, or what those in power consider such, is its own reward. Bring your enemies close so they might reap the benefits, all while taking from them the means of forging their own destinies. After all, it's not as if they would know how to best use their resources. No, that requires the strong hand of Alba to determine.
"There's also the increasing issue with homeless citizens in the larger population centers," Crane goes on, piling together another group of papers. "Outside of a few holdouts with strong union representation, policy to promote revenant labor has gone well. But that does mean a sizable number of people have been unable to find new employment."
"Yes, I was just thinking of that," Aidric says, steepling my hands together. "I believe it might be a possible solution for the military's manpower shortage."
Crane frowns, obviously confused, but after a moment he comes to the twisted logic Aidric is following. "A recruitment drive?"
"Indeed!" Aidric says, splitting my face into a smile. "Grant the people opportunity for work. It will go over better than handouts, which would just encourage laziness. We direct them to the military, with the stipulation the state has custody of their body upon death."
"And what of those who don't enlist?"
Aidric shrugs my shoulders. "They can't be allowed to stay on the streets, so to the workhouse prisons they must go. We cannot spare the rod if we are to ensure proper behavior. It will be for their own good, even if they don't realize it at the time."
Left unsaid, of course, is how those prisoners will have little in the way of rights. The workhouses are brutal institutions, long days of backbreaking labor meant to undercut the construction unions in order to keep pressure on them. Only the most desperate would be grateful for such work, and then only to avoid starvation. And, of course, any who die in the process of this enforced employment will have their bodies confiscated to keep the industry of empire moving.
God, I've been stuck like this for too long. I'm sounding more and more like my parents.
"An excellent idea, sir," Crane says. "I'll direct the staff to have all the relevant policy proposals on the Senate floor by the end of the week." He pauses for as moment as he moves onto another item on the agenda, looking visibly uncomfortable. His thin lips become almost invisible as he presses them together, taking time to gather his thoughts before he continues speaking. "While on the subject… Fatima Hajar has proposed a resolution to the lower chamber to outlaw possession as a practice entirely across Alba and all of its holdings."
"Again?" Aidric asks. He takes a sip of tea, unsweetened because why should I ever get to enjoy what little I can actually taste, and sighs. "She must know it will never pass in the upper chamber. I won't let it."
"Yes, sir," Crane says, squirming in his seat. "I believe she's aware of that."
Aidric narrows my eyes. "What has she done?"
"The end of the proposal… Well, sir, to put it bluntly she's written that if you don't like it, you may fornicate with your own corpse."
The laugh that bursts out of me forces a wince from Aidric, his discomfort furrowing my brow. Idly he pushes against me, tries to make me sleep, but I don't care. My mother, my beautifully brilliant mother, is one of the few lights in this terrible existence I've found myself in. She gives Aidric no peace, which always gives me joy.
After a few more hours Aidric is done dictating how to carve up the world to his liking. Next come meetings, other senators speaking with my great grandfather about policy proposals, votes, how matters are in their districts… It's all quite dull, and I try not to focus on them. All too many are like those in my own position, young men and women possessed by their elders so they might continue on just a little longer.
The most uncomfortable part is how so many of them are children. The rasp of the elderly set over the piping voices of those in the transition to adulthood. It must be easier for these wretched old ghosts to control such bodies. Not enough life lived to put up a bulwark against their control, but with enough vitality for them to enjoy the fruits of lives not their own.
One meeting in particular catches my attention, and keeps me from accidentally slipping back into the depths of the prison that has become my body. It's a woman maybe a little younger than Crane, wearing a black uniform with her hair tied up into a bun. One arm is wrapped up in a sling, and her face is riddled with old bruises. When she walks in, she gives Aidric a crisp salute with her good hand.
"At ease, Lieutenant Ashton," Aidric says, raising one of my hands in what he likely believes is a comforting gesture. "No need for formalities here."
"As you say, sir," she replies, still standing ramrod straight. She lowers her hand, though, and narrows her eyes. "Permission to speak freely?"
"Like I said," Aidric replies, leaning my body back in the chair. "No need for formalities. You're just here because I wanted to follow up on a matter with you personally."
"And is that wise with her listening in?"
I'm so shocked by this I actually force Aidric to blink. I have no time to rejoice in this meager regaining of control, however, as I'm forced to withstand another push to send me tumbling down into the dark. This woman… She must be a necromancer, and quite an accomplished one if she's able to tell I'm awake.
"There won't be an issue with her being present," he replies, lifting my lips up into a smile. "Though I must commend you on your diligence. It speaks well of you, Lieutenant."
"Thank you, sir," she says. "Though that wasn't what I wished to mention." She pauses for a moment, frowning. "I'm just not sure why I'm here. Everything of relevance is in my report."
"Yes, your report," Crane says, pulling out said document from his briefcase. "You were quite thorough with the details of the recent terrorist attack at the Kirwick Lake facility. We'd like to know if there were any other witnesses to the incident."
"None that I'm aware of, sir," Ashton says. "The guards at the front didn't get a good look at the figure, and everyone else was running away. I'm the only one alive who confronted him."
"And you're sure of your description of the man?" Aidric asks. "Absolutely sure?"
"Yes, sir," the necromancer, so obviously military by her bearing, says. "I didn't recognize him at the time since he's changed so much, but I did so after the fact. The assailant was Randall Dunstan."
"My grandson," Aidric says, forcing my body to lean forward. He clasps my hands together, furrowing my brow. "You've seen him before?"
"I sat in one of his lectures at university. His grasp of necromantic theory and application left an impression."
"Yes," Aidric says softly, my lips now turned down into a scowl. "He does tend to do that."
"You've done an excellent job," Crane cuts in. "Truly excellent, Lieutenant Ashton. We commend you for your service."
"Thank you, sir," Ashton says. "If you don't mind my asking, when can I resume my posting at Kirwick? The region is still in disarray with the destruction of the Kordian satellite, and my skills would be of use in rebuilding."
"Oh, you won't be returning to Kirwick," Crane says. "You've been re-assigned to the capital."
For the first time in the conversation Ashton's demeanor cracks. Her eyes go wide, and her mouth drops open. After a moment she shakes her head, obviously about to protest, when she stops herself short. It's at this point I realize she is not a stupid woman, that she can read the room and understand what is happening.
She's being sidelined. Witnessing my father's attack puts Aidric at risk, because the Prime Minister can't have it coming out that a member of his family is a terrorist. It would damage faith in the government. And if there's one thing my great grandfather will never allow, it is such a potential threat to his power.
"As you say, sir," Ashton says, saluting again. "I assume I'm to be shown to my new quarters after this meeting?"
"Just so," Aidric says, again moving my lips into a smile. "You are dismissed, Lieutenant."
My thoughts swim as she leaves, hope and love mixing with the ever-present despair and rage that makes up my world. My father… I didn't even know he was still alive. I knew Aidric was searching for him, but to know for sure that he's still out there is like a breath of fresh air after so long drowning.
He's fighting them. He's fighting them and he's hurting them. A single person against the world. I didn't know dad had it in him, always so stuffy and focused on his work. I thought he might have fled the country, fled the empire, but he's still here and breaking this terrible machine that holds me and so many others in bondage.
"Well," Crane says after the door closes. "I think we can probably deduce who killed Senator Banks last year, considering this new information."
"This is a problem," Aidric says, putting my hands on the table as he pushes my body to its feet. "And we need to correct it."
"I'm not sure how he's managed this," Crane says, looking through reports. "He's just one man. A talented necromancer, but still one man. How can he have caused all this damage?"
"It doesn't matter," Aidric says, turning to look at the map of the empire on the wall. He takes my hand and runs my fingers down the length of Alba. "The how is less important than the why, and knowing my grandson I have a good idea of what he's after."
"His daughter, of course," Crane says, putting the papers back into his briefcase. "And he's willing to wage war on all of Alba, the damned fool. I'll arrange for troops to move to the Kirwick area. He's probably using the confusion to cover his movements to the west."
"No, I don't think so."
Aidric takes my hand and traces along the Yorka Peaks. The mountain range runs along the middle of the country, going up into the Kaledon highlands. He stops at one mountain in particular, tapping my fingers against it.
"He's going for the engine."
Crane blinks. "But the engine isn't there."
"Yes, but he doesn't know that," Aidric says, forcing my fingers to give the mountains one final tap. "He's guessing, and he's discovered there's a major operation placed in the mountains. That's where he'll be moving. Everything else is a distraction."
"Then we'll have to inform Margaret Zeal immediately!" Crane says, pushing the chair back with enough force to make it squeal across the floor. "Send troops to protect her and the rest of the enterprise!"
"I suppose," Aidric says. He turns my body around to face Crane. "Send a team via zeppelin, but without haste. Make it seem like it's just more resources being diverted to Kirwick."
"Sir?"
"It's making the best of a bad situation," he says, crossing my arms. "Margaret is growing unstable. Having someone like that at the core of our intelligence services is too much of a risk. She's become a threat to us, and thus the nation, so I'm afraid she's going to have to go. This just happens to be an expedient way to accomplish that."
Crane stares at Aidric, who for his part merely shrugs my shoulders at his disbelief. How the thin wisp of a man couldn't see this coming is beyond me. Aidric has always been like this, genteel in public and absolutely ruthless if he feels he must. If this Margaret Zeal has become an issue, then it's not surprising in the least he would try to use my father to rid himself of her without dirtying his hands.
To Crane's credit, he recovers quickly. Coughing into one hand, he picks up his briefcase from the table. "The fact your grandson found out about Zeal's hub means we have a leak. We need to investigate."
"I agree. We don't need any loose ends. Randall's death won't be enough."
"His death, sir?"
"Yes," Aidric says. "I don't like doing it, but Randall is causing too many problems and from what the Lieutenant described, his body is no longer suitable as a vessel. Best for everyone if he was just removed. That will be what the team is for."
You fucking bastard! Don't you touch him! I'll get my hands on a knife, cut my own wrists before I let you hurt him! You can't keep me buried forever! He's trying to save me! He's trying to save everyone you and your ghouls have taken!
Aidric winces and puts my hand to my head, massaging my temple. "Kendra, dear, now is not the time."
I will make it the time! I will drag you down to hell with me and spit on your shriveled soul!
"Edwin, one last matter before I go to my next meeting," Aidric says, pushing me even as I claw to stay awake. "On the vessel program? The status quo is growing untenable."
"I'm afraid it's a bust, sir. So far neither conventional science nor necromancy has shown any progress growing a copy of the human body. The most we've gotten are cancerous lumps of flesh."
"Then I'll just have to bear with the indignity of our secondary plan," Aidric says, twisting my lips into a scowl. "Find a suitable man before spring. I'll grow a new vessel myself."
Wait… You can't be serious.
"Kendra, stop getting so agitated," Aidric says, stumbling my body toward the chair as I slam against his mind. He takes a deep breath with my lungs before continuing. "You're not staying asleep as much as you should, and that's putting stress on the body. Something to do with your age, I suspect, or your mother's heritage. It's best for all of us if we go forward with the alternative, no matter how distasteful it may be."
I scream. I scream and scream and scream. I scream with such strength that it makes the room tremble, the power of my fury and terror pressing against the monster that has taken over my body. Betrayal, that he would do this to me, pushes me forward. Necromantic energy leaks from my body in waves of purple and black as my will clashes against Aidric and he is forced, for the first time in three years, to give me ground.
With jerking hands I reach for the gun I know Crane keeps in his jacket, the spindly man as much a bodyguard as an assistant. He catches my wrists easily before I can make any progress, forcing me around to hold me by my arms and waist. I twist and turn, but Aidric is also pushing against me and I'm losing what little control I've managed to tear away. Already I'm falling back into the dark, losing my awareness as I continue to scream my defiance.
"Keep that grip, Edwin," Aidric forces through my clenched teeth. "I'll need to cancel the rest of my meetings before the Senate convenes. This won't wait."
"As you say, sir," he grunts, thin arms filled with surprising strength as he contains my wild thrashing. I have no leverage, no way to escape, and he slowly bears me to the ground. "I have her."
The pressure turns into hammer blows. One punch, then another, as Aidric turns his full attention toward burying me. I fight him every step of the way, but it's no use. The darkness is swallowing me, pushing me down into inky blackness as my consciousness fades away.
"Mom! Dad!" I croak, my voice raw as I make one last push to bring my words into the world. "Help me! Please! Help me!"
And then there is no more.