Cinder: The Life and Times of Avatar Azula (Avatar AU)

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13. Mahābhārata
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    • Mahābhārata

    And so the Avatar threw herself into the bitter work of training in the cold north. The Northern Tribe's finest tested her, not always honorably, but Azula found solace in the company of her betrothed, another princess burned with too much duty on her young shoulders. And here, where the veil between worlds is thinnest, Spirits made their interest in the fate of the young Avatar known.​


    The moon hung low tonight. The rest of Pakku's students had long since gone home. But Katara and Azula remained at the training hall, continuing to run through their forms. This was hazing, to be sure, but they were proud and neither would give in and give the old man the satisfaction.

    "Yak's ass," Katara cursed under her breath. The swirling tendrils of water wavered.

    "What about it?" Azula said, eyebrow cocked.

    "Pakku. He's a yak's ass."

    Azula was getting into a particularly taxing part of the bending form. But her mind was too numb already to prevent her concentration from wandering. Grunting, she said, "He always impressed me as more of a goat than a yak."

    "Huh?"

    "It's the beard."

    "Oh. I suppose so." The air was silent except for the swirling water. The aroma of burning coal wafted into the hall. Hearths and cooking fires. Only now did Katara hear the rumbling of her tummy. "How long have we been at this?"

    "Three hours I think."

    "No, not this form. I mean, training under Pakku."

    "Two weeks I think."

    "I can't take this anymore."


    Azula awoke the next morning to find the hut empty. Yawning, she pulled back the layers of blankets to sit up in bed. Stretching languidly, she glanced around, finding Katara's bed already made and her parka absent from the clothes horse. It was a sensation like being torn right down the middle. Katara's absence cut into her, but at the same time, they'd been spending so much time together being worn down to the nub, it was bringing out the worst in both of them.

    Pakku had been pitting them against each other, and once again Azula was the favored child. A position that was doubly unfair. For not only was Pakku being a bitter old man stuck in his ways, it was plainly evident that Katara was the more talented Waterbender. This was done to punish Katara's impudence for daring to use the gifts she'd been given.

    Azula noticed the lamps beginning to burn hot; she was seething just thinking about Pakku, and in the unfocused state of the early morning her bending was getting away from her. Clapping her hands together in the namaste gesture, Azula breathed out, letting her anger leave with the hot air.

    There were other masters, even in Agna Qel'a. But none had the wisdom and influence of Pakku, and invariably all the living masters had once been students of his. In short, they needed him and Pakku knew it. They could not leave his tutelage without snubbing the palace that had ordered their inclusion. But there was no sense in worrying about that today, on one of their few rest days.

    Azula set a jug of snow olive oil on the masonry heater to warm while she attended to her hygiene. After shaving the forming stubble on her legs, in her armpits and outside her fundoshi, she gave herself a perfunctory scrub down with soap. She lay soaking in hot water, washcloth over her eyes, for nearly half an hour. It wasn't hard to keep the water warm, but the damnable tub was barely large enough to immerse her torso; her legs hung over the sides in the cool air. The whole exercise reminded her of country children washing in cooking pots.

    The now warm scented oil did wonders easing the lingering soreness in her muscles. After scraping the excess off with a bone strigil, she brushed the excess out of her hair, leaving it soft and shining.

    After completing her morning rituals, she glanced at the mirror one last time, at last satisfied that her topknot was symmetrical. The dress Yue had made for Azula was quite pleasant. It looked like an imitation of old Fire Nation styles, done in blue silk instead of red. Azula found it amusing that this old style could still be recreated by the palace tailors after so many years of war.

    Azula arrived at the palace without fanfare, making her way in through the servant's entrance. After stopping off at the kitchens for a quick bite, she made her way up the spiraling staircase to Yue's apartments. The finely hewn ice, like blue crystal, bathed the upper rooms of the palace in sunlight. The patterned wool tapestries brook up the halls into areas of light and dark.

    Yue's lady-in-waiting greeted Azula with a bow. "How may I serve, Avatar?"

    "Would you tell Princess Yue that I have come to call on her, as previously arranged?"

    "At once," said the servant, retreating one step before turning.

    Azula watched the young woman leave, shaking her head. Having escaped the stifling formality of court life, its sudden intrusion was almost unbearable. But eyes were watching everywhere, and they needed to keep up appearances. She'd started thinking of Yue as a fellow inmate in this prison.

    But as Yue returned, wearing a gossamer thin silk gown adorned with sparkling sequins, Azula could not suppress the smile forming on her lips. "Princess," she said with a bow.

    "How wonderful to see you, Prince Azula! Please let Master Pakku know how grateful I am that he has seen fit to give you a day to fulfill your other duties."

    "I will be sure to, your highness."

    Delightful! Banu, you may take your leave."

    The handmaiden's eyebrows rose, eyes white. "But Yue–my lady!"

    "I'll be quite alright in Prince Azula's care. Please, enjoy yourself." Yue turned back to Azula. "I know I will."

    Azula indulged in a little grin once Banu had left. "Oh thank all the daevas, I thought I was going to have to keep up the good prince act."

    "Not if I can help it. Come on, I have something to show you."

    Yue led Azula through the palace, past ballrooms and guest quarters, into a bright conservatory. The sun was pouring in through the transparent ice dome above. Already the warmest room even by midmorning, the walls were beginning to glisten from melt.

    "Oh music?" Azula mused, "just don't expect me too much from me, I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket."

    Yue drew a tapestry aside, revealing a hidden hatch in the ice. "No, something better."

    "I do love some good mischief."

    "By the time my father's lackeys realize we haven't left and decide to check the palace we'll be long gone. These tunnels are sensitive secrets. I'm sure only one in ten of his retainers is entrusted." With a flick of Yue's wrist, the hatch opened. She beckoned Azula through first before sealing the hatch behind them. Grinning, she latched onto Azula. When Azula eeped in surprise, Yue giggled. "No prying eyes here. We can forget about protocol and betrothals; and just enjoy each other's company."

    Azula mumbled her agreement.

    "These tunnels are a maze, but I know the way well if you can light the way."

    Azula held a small fire in her palm while the other hand rested on Yue's hip. The tunnels were large enough for them to walk side-by-side, though unlike the rest of the palace the flooring was not cladded. So they walked slowly, taking the forks and intersections as Yue dictated, talking about nothing and everything.

    Azula shared her frustrations with Master Pakku's training, as well as the highlights reel of her misfortunes. To her surprise, Azula was not bothered by Yue's gentle laughter, especially when she shared similar stories of embarrassment.

    The tunnels stopped winding after fifteen minutes. "We've left the palace grounds now," Yue explained. "Now we're in the glacier's curtain wall."

    "Glaciers move. It must take incredible work to keep this all functioning."

    "Exactly. Agna Qel'a flows with the glacier. In the time since it became the capital it's moved nearly many miles, past the Spirit Oasis and the Rock of Ages that it sits upon."

    "At some point, even with all your labors the glacier will slip into the sea as an iceberg."

    "That's the way of things. We just build the city deeper into the glacier, bit by bit now. Trim off the parts that are too unsupported. It's a city constantly regrowing itself."

    "Huh. I'd never really thought how closely bending could be interwoven into the life of a people. This whole city isn't just built with it, it couldn't exist without it."

    The winding tunnel reached a stone archway. Beyond carved granite, the way forked. Yue separated from Azula, the cold air stinging at Azula's uncovered side. Yue turned, hand's behind her back. "The left fork takes us to a freshwater reservoir where we grow food from our ancient, lost homeland. But the right, that leads us to something lost to time."

    "Well, color me intrigued."

    Yue's face wrinkled, lip's pursed. "If I show you this, you have to swear it to secrecy. You cannot tell anyone."

    "I promise."

    The ice tunnel gave way to stone. The air immediately warmed. Unfamiliar writing lined the smooth chiseled stone walls, glowing pale blue. Azula doused her flame; once her eyes adjusted she saw the glyphs lighting the tunnel for hundreds of yards ahead.

    "What do they say?" said Azula.

    "Lost to time, I'm afraid. I've often wondered if our own writing system is a descendant, but even with my best guesses, it's just consonants. They didn't use vowel marks, and even if they did, I'm not sure it would help. The words are still totally unfamiliar."

    "Maybe when the war's over we can take another crack at it."

    The tunnel eventually opened up to a vaulted dome. The room was thirty yards across, and nearly as tall in the center. Within the room, many small plinths were arranged in concentric circles, each adorned with glowing writing. Statues of human figures ringed the edge of the room.

    "I call it the mausoleum," said Yue. "My mentor thinks it's a morbid name, but I don't see what else it could be for."

    The air was electric. The small hairs rose on Azula's neck upon her first step into the mausoleum. Her mouth went dry as she saw fleeting images at the edge of her vision. Her eyes darted after the figments, only to find nothing. Tearing the shawl off her shoulders, Azula stooped over."

    "Azula! Are you okay?"

    The ghosts of this place were ancient and unremembered. The weight of their psychic pressure pushed Azula to her knees. The accumulated eons pulsed through her. Just as quickly as it came, it vanished, leaving Azula panting on the floor as Yue nudged her.

    "I'm alright," whispered Azula. "This happens from time to time."

    "Avatar related?"

    Azula nodded. "This place is very spiritually powerful. And, this may sound strange, but I don't think it wants to be remembered." Azula glanced up at the mural on the ceiling, a painted landscape of a temperate forest by a seaside cliff. "And I think I know why."

    Yue guided Azula's head into her lap. The stone was warm to the touch here, and Yue's lap was even warmer. Yue brushed Azula's hair, taking the tension right from her body.

    Yue spoke in hushed tones, as though someone might eavesdrop on them: "There is a secret entrusted to the priesthood. Grandmother Yagoda taught it to me when I finished my rights I am not supposed to tell anyone from outside."

    "Grandmother?"

    "Not my literal grandmother, a term of respect. I am going to tell you the tale anyway." Yue took a deep breath. "The poles have always been cold. But not like this. Our ancestors made them this way. The cultivated the glaciers like one would tend crops. They bred the animals and the plants to survive in the cold as they did. So that they would never again be made exiles."

    Azula nodded. It boggled the mind, the scale of this work. But a thousand lifetimes was an eternity that she'd lived through, changing bodies like a mortal changed clothes. What feats could the determined accomplish in that time? And she knew, deep in her bones, that this was true. She had been there, countless lifetimes ago, dancing under the midnight sun of a temperate north pole, amid amber fields of grass, flowers wreathed in her hair. "I can understand people's incredulity. But why is this being treated like a state secret?"

    "I asked Grandmother Yagoda the same. She told me that any work can be undone. And the means our distant ancestors used to accomplish it has been lost to us. There may be something lurking under the ice that could undo it all and make our homeland once again a desirable target of conquest."

    "Oh."

    "We've survived this long despite having less than a tenth the men and territory of the Earth Kingdom because our lands are of no use to the enemy. One would have to give up everything that is Fire Nation to rule over and utilize these lands."

    Azula was struck silent. Was this not already what was happening to her? One by one she'd been discarding the trappings of the land of her birth. The tribesmen called her Una now, the epithet given to her by Hahn; a spark or cinder, that the old fables tell to both guard and guard against. She worse their clothes, developed a taste for their food. In battle, Azula had taken to wearing the war mask of the Wolf Lodge, saying prayers to Amorak instead of Agni. Was she losing herself?

    Or had this been her all along? She was the Avatar, belonging to all nations and none. Perhaps she wasn't discarding, merely adding. This was heavier than she wanted to contemplate with her head resting on Yue's lap.

    "I'm sorry, I knew you'd be interested in this sort of thing, but I was careless and didn't factor how it might affect you spiritually." Yue helped Azula to her feet, and to her surprise she accepted the help without protest. They were close now and in that unguarded moment Azula was lost in Yue's sky blue eyes.

    The moment stuck in Azula's heart like a knife. She still couldn't even pretend she owned her own heart. Despite the finality of the betrothal and Katara's blessings, some voice in Azula that sounded very much like her mother accused her of cheating. "Running off into the arms of another woman so soon? Such deviant behavior," the voice chided.

    "I'm sorry, it's just," Azula stammered, "You look so very pretty, glowing like my own personal moon. I feel like a cheat still, even though Katara and I only kissed once…and damnit I should not have said that."

    Yue giggled. "I don't mean to laugh at you, but it is very endearing just how much you struggle with intimacy. Sometimes you're so cool and invincible, but all it takes is me batting my eyes at you to turn into a wreck."

    "Okay, laugh it up then," Azula growled. Parting she turned away, crossing her arms. Secretly grateful that Yue found it endearing, but the laughter still wounded her.

    Yue wrapped her arms around Azula's shoulders. "Oh don't be like that. There's no one else to see it. And c'mere, lemme tell you a secret."

    Azula growled again. "If there's no one here, just say it." When Yue wouldn't relent, Azula huffed and said "fine!" Leaning in close for Yue's whisper, she was totally blindsided when Yue cupped her cheeks and kissed her.

    To Azula's credit, she wasn't too stunned to kiss back. Yue leaned in and whispered, "My secret is I want to kiss you."

    Still, the once proud warrior was reduced to a blushing, stuttering mess, barely able to string two words together before Yue kissed her again. The second must have been better because Yue gasped when she finally broke it, eyes glassy with pleasure."

    "Y-you can't just surprise me like that," cried Azula, tugging at her collar. Her whole body had flushed, so much she felt she'd spontaneously combust from the heat on her skin.

    "That didn't seem like surprise when you kissed me back."

    Azula's growl came out more like a trilling kitten.

    "I didn't think it would upset you like this," said Yue. Crestfallen, she turned her back.

    "I'm…I'm not upset, Yue. If anything, I'm afraid because I want it too much. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

    "Okay." Glancing over her shoulder, Yue said, "If you feel like you want it too much, then kiss me again. Let me measure your desire. I'll tell you if it's too much."

    "Alright."

    "But you have to know, I will kiss you out of the blue from time to time. But only when it's just us. I won't share how cute you are when you're embarrassed with anyone."

    Azula approached, feeling the nervous energy bunch up in her belly. Her eyes kept betraying, sliding down Yue's plunging neckline. "Alright, I'll kiss you now, if that's alright."

    Yue giggled, "That's what I asked for, isn't it?"

    Placing a hand in the small of Yue's back, Azula leaned in slowly. When her lips were 90 percent of the way, Yue lunged forward, drawing an 'eep' from Azula. Their third kiss was easily the best; no longer weighed down by surprise, it could be properly enjoyed. Azula just let go of it all, smothering the judging superego keeping her in shackles.

    By the time they came up for air, Yue was pressed against the wall, dress hiked up, with Azula's finger's digging into the bare skin of her thigh. Azula's teeth had left bruises down Yue's neck. But Yue had given as good as she'd gotten. Livid red scratches covered Azula's back.

    It was good that they stopped now. Azula knew she wasn't ready for more, especially as the guilt panged in her heart again. But at least Yue was more than pleased with her handiwork. Some of the guilt still remained when their lips parted. Even if kissing one's fiance was 'the way of things,' a forlorn hope still battered at the walls of Azula's heart.

    They lingered, embraced together. Yue whispered, "Whatever they say about the Avatar being a man among our tribe, I need you to know I still see you as a woman. In fact, I think I prefer it that way."


    "I can't take this anymore."

    Azula opened one eye, glancing over at Katara. The tendrils of water circling her wavered, and her hands nearly slipped from the añjali gesture as she compensated. "You said that last week," she hissed.

    "The full moon festival is happening, and we're here practicing when we're already as good as his best students."

    With a flourish, Azula sent the undulating waters back into the ice. "Good is not good enough."

    Katara dismissed hers as well. "There is such a thing as overtraining, Azula."

    "And when I get there, I'll rest."

    "Will you?"





    The sun was setting over the Palace training ground. Panting, Katara watched her breath billow into clouds of frost. She gripped the training sword tight and lunged.

    Sokka parried deftly; with a few more strokes of the hard wood, Katara's poise disintegrated. Sliding backwards on the snow, she tried to disengage. But Sokka surged forward, and in the ensuing flurry of strikes, he smacked her good on the wrist and ribs before she tripped over herself.

    "Good effort, but you keep losing your footing and winding up in the snow bank," Sokka chided, eager to remind his younger sibling of her faults.

    Spitting out crusted snow, Katara forced herself to sit up, ignoring the protesting pain in her side. "I will get you eventually, and then you'll be sorry."

    "But not today, Sis. Sun's getting real low and you're already wet."

    Katara pursed her lips. "Do not say it like that!"

    "Well ya are. You're soaked, anyone can see it."

    "Just listen to yourself. Gosh, maybe I should be training with Suki instead."

    "What difference does it make if it's her or me that gets you wet?"

    "Sokka! The word has connotations up here!"

    "Cunni-what now?"

    "Now you're doing it on purpose!"

    "F'real though, Suki is better at sword fighting than me. Do you expect her to go easy on you cuz you're a girl?"

    "No, I expect her to not be an ass. Come on!"

    Sokka extended a hand to help her up. "Can't help it, it's a big bro's job to embarrass his sister."

    Katara took his hand, smirking. Sokka tried to pull away too late and soon found himself face first in the snowbank beside her."

    Clapping pierced the air. Katara glanced over, seeing Suki escorting Princess Yue to the training grounds. Both laughed without reservation at Sokka's pratfall. Sokka's anger deflated; brushing the wet snow from his face, he grinned to hide his embarrassment.

    "Well Katara," said Suki, "I'll trade you."

    "Yes please! Take the goofball."

    "Goofball?" Sokka said, pointing at his chest, "Me? A goofball? Why I never!"

    "Go on, shoo," Katara flicked snow at him, "Before Yue figures out we're related."

    Sokka of course needed no convincing to spend time with Suki. But like any good older brother, he was never going to things easy for Katara. "Fine, I'll leave you with your girlfriend's future wife."

    "Sokka!"

    At least Yue didn't seem offended by Sokka's parting shot. WIth a bow, Sokka left, practically skipping hand-in-hand with Suki. Yue watched the pair leave. "Are those two–" she held up her entwined fingers "--you know?"

    "Yes, for a few weeks now."

    Yue's nose wrinkled. "That must've made traveling together…interesting."

    "They were pretty good about finding privacy. But yeah, it was kind of hard to avoid it. Especially when we weren't staying at inns."

    "Now don't take this the wrong way," said Yue, knitting her hands together, "But which of you is the oldest?"

    "Oh I get it, don't worry. Sokka is, but you'd never know it until it involves him being overprotective. I'll be 17 on the fall equinox. Err, I guess it's spring for you here."

    "Heavens, I thought you were my age."

    Katara laughed, "I get it. Most people wouldn't think Azula was 16 either. We've had to grow up too soon."

    "You've been a good friend to her. I hope I can count you as one of mine."

    "I'm honored, princess."

    "Please, you're a chief's daughter as well. We're of the same rank."

    "Being a chief's daughter means something different in the South. There are two, and they're elected yearly in peacetime. My father's term has been extended due to the war. But in most regards I'm just an ordinary child of Wolf Cove. I'm from a patrician family, but the ravages of the have generally blotted out that distinction."

    "Oh." Yue's face fell. "Now I feel foolish. I thought that as someone of equal rank you'd press your claim on Azula…but I really have gone and stolen her from you. I'm sorry, I–"

    "Shh, it's alright. Azula did what she had to. To help me and my people. Maybe the thought of an 'us' was doomed from the start. I do love her very much. But it seems like fate always had other plans. I couldn't sort my feelings for her until I was losing her."

    They walked in pensive silence to Yue's apartments. The warmth of the hearth was a wonderful balm on the chill in Katara's bones, and after placing her clothes on the rack to dry, she slipped into the dress Yue loaned her. It was a finer thing than anything Katara had ever owned. The warm knitted wool was soft as silk, and the front was adorned with polished stone beads that brought such a sparkle to Katara's eyes.

    Yue's servants brought a steaming pot of black tea along with milk and honey. Yue waved them away, preparing the tea for both. "As I said earlier, I don't think you're going to lose her."

    The hot tea was floral and sweet, the perfect pick-me-up after an embarrassing afternoon. Katara shook her head, tamping down the feeling of revulsion at the implication. "I don't want to be Azula's mistress, hiding away from prying eyes."

    "What if you didn't have to hide?"

    "THere's still a war to be waged. It's going to be dangerous. I don't want to put her in a position where she has to choose the life of her lover over the good of the world."

    "It's already too late for that."

    "Hardly. Azula and I have both already agreed on this."

    "Do you really think it will be easier to let you go if she's not sleeping with you?"

    Katara slammed her cup down. "Don't hurt me like this, Yue. It's hard enough as it is."

    "I've tried to get Azula to open up to me. But the thing is, you conquered her heart first. Every kiss is one stolen, and it leaves her feeling guilty."

    Katara noticed the servants had left the apartment entirely. "What are you getting at."

    Yue sunk deeper into the cushion. "Mercy me, I've already told you. You're just so straight-laced and romantic that you don't realize you have two princesses chasing after you!"

    "Wait. You? And me?"

    "And Azula."

    "That sounds like a recipe for trouble. Your father will kill me."

    "Azula is the Avatar, a living god. Who's going to stop her from having two lovers? Or stop her loving from…getting acquainted."

    Katara laughed despite herself. "You're mad you know. But I suppose you're right. But this is incredibly tricky."

    "I know, believe me I know." Yue slipped in beside Katara. The incense-filled air was thick with danger–and reward. "I figure we'll have time. If I'm to be sold to a foreign prince, then I've decided I have no reason to stay in this palace."

    Yue placed a comforting hand on Katara's knee; only now did Katara realize she'd been fidgeting. Guarded, she looked Yue in the eye. The princess's glossy white hair shined in the lamplight. The blue pearl earring, three times the size of any pearl Katara had seen before, dangled by the unblemished skin of Yue's delicate neck.

    Katara felt so rough and boyish next to her. But then again, so did Azula. Maybe that's what Yue fancied in her lovers.

    "Katara, this may sound greedy of me," said Yue, batting her eyelashes, "but I find myself drawn to you. You are so brave and kind, even with the people who don't deserve it. When I'm with you, just like when I'm with Azula, I want to be a braver, better version of myself."

    "Princess, I don't know what to say…that someone like you could be envious of me is surprising."

    "Well, I hope to have more time to let you find out. Katara, as another polar girl, could you tell me what the Sun lands are like?"

    Katara smiled. "The air has this smell, pungent and earthy. But bright oo, like the aroma of mulled cider. It's the smell of life–and decay. The wind can kiss your skin, cool on a hot day. Or it can come war off the waters at dawn. All around, there's animals and plants, like the horn of plenty. They truly do not know how good they have it."

    Katara sighed. "But their abundance leaves them petty and greedy. They observe theoxenia with great reluctance at best, and think nothing of shutting their doors and hearths to the needy. The wealth of their lands is squandered in great acts of vanity, so much so that their very abundance has left them in want."

    They were hip-to-hip now, and still Yue managed to wriggle closer. "I would like to see it soon. And I hope, however foolish it may seen, that you could help teach this pampered princess how to be a warrior too."

    "Oh your father's definitely going to kill me," Katara laughed, "But that sounds fun. You'd really give it all up, all this? All for her?"

    "Oh I'm quite taken with you both. Watching you train, the singularity of your focus. The bravery, enduring frankly shameless treatment from my countrymen, yet still carrying these burdens. It makes me want to share your burden."

    There was the first inkling that this might work. Katara thought it over, imagining training Yue how to Waterbend in combat, how to track and to hunt, to stand in the battle line. Interspersed with the montage came flashes of kissing the moon princess, spending nights together with her and Aula. And she had to admit, the idea enticed her like honey.

    Maybe they didn't have to choose between love and duty. Maybe another pair of arms could help bear the weight. "Yue, can I ask you something?"

    "Sure?"

    "Could I kiss you?"

    Yue smiled. "I thought you'd never ask. Has any royal in history had to work as hard to court a girl as I have with you?"

    "Azula did as well," said Katara, rubbing her thumb across Yue's cheek. She leaned in, closing her eyes, and let Yue meet her half-way. The silky feel of Yue's lipstick spread on Katara's lips. Expecting something chase, Katara found herself locking lips with an experienced, passionate lover. Yue's tongue dove in, ambitious but polite, and Katara immediately accepted the invitation.

    Gasping, Katara felt the butterflies dance in her tummy. Breathless, Yue smiled back at her."

    "You're very…spirited," said Katara.

    "We're not quite the prudes you think we are," said Yue, a smug grin forming. "The mother of the Sea is also a fertility spirit."

    "Have you–"

    "Yes. Have you?"

    "Twice."

    "You have some of my… on your lips."

    "I kinda want to leave it there."

    "Brat."

    "Fine, I'll give it back." Katara planted a kiss on Yue's cheek, leaving a ragged blue lip print.


    Another week had passed, and the hazing continued. By now, even Azula's patience was wearing thin. She and Katara were performing more of the menial labors for the male students. They would fetch and carry, prepare meals, and would always be used as the object lesson for proper bending form, subjected to humiliation in mock combat by Pakku or his lieutenants.

    She had persevered this long under the mistaken belief that once they proved themselves, Pakku would know reason and accept them, however grudgingly, as worthy. Instead they'd been going nowhere fast.

    Sokka and Suki were spending more time in the company of Azula's betrothed than she was. Azula was quite trusting, but with those two leches even she was nearing her limit. As for Yue, well Azula was mystified about her own feelings.

    Today had been a particularly awful day between Pakku's antics and time sucked up observing the forms of court politics. It had left Azula stripped to the bone. After a disappointing, lonely supper in her hut, she fed and stoked the masonry stove one more time before turning in. Bundled up in wool nightclothes, pressed under the weight of fur blankets, Azula went out like a candle. Dreams of fire flakes and warm summer nights danced in her head.

    She awoke with a premonition, vaulting up in her bed. THe hut was still desolate save for the soft groans of the stove. Azula tucked her knees up to her chest and cursed the old goat. He'd been separating her from Katara, denying them both even the simple comfort of shared suffering.

    "The hubris of this man," muttered Azula, "Making deliberate enemies with the chief's future daughter-in-law, the Avatar no less! Does he really think I'm going to let this go? Outrageous. The presumption, the arrogance of it all!"

    The night air was still. "Oh great, he's even got me talking to myself now."

    "I can answer back if that would help."

    Aang's spectral form was sitting atop the stove, grinning. Azula scowled. "And you! I haven;t heard anything from in weeks!"

    "You seemed like you had everything handled."

    Azula scoffed.

    "I mean it."

    "Oh, you're not going to scold me for earthly attachments?"

    "No, you do enough of that to yourself."

    "Tell me something then. Can you appear in other forms than this, or are you stuck as what you were in life?"

    "I'm only the part of you that is Aang. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that there were others before me."

    "Then why do I sometimes see spirits who take the visage of people I know in life?"

    "Can't say."

    "Can't? Or won't?"

    "It's not a burden of knowledge you are ready for, regardless of what I want."

    Azula sprawled out spread eagle on her bed. "Okay, whatever it is just lay it one me."

    "Huh?"

    "Whatever cryptic warning or admonition you have, just tell me. I'm too tired to fight it."

    "Oh nothing of the sort, actually. I've been thinking, as I've observed you these last weeks that there's something else you need to hear. You have two people who need you as much as you need them."

    Azula curled up on her side. The yearning for Katara, for Yue, ate into her. She closed her eyes and tried to recall the sound of laughter or the touch of their skin, only to find the pit of loneliness and nothing but faint echoes for solace. And it wasn't just them.

    She missed Sokka; his stupid face, his lame puns, even his overbearing brotherly instinct. She missed Suki; even her rustic table manners and her aggressive tomboy persona.

    "I am the Avatar," Azula said. "Before that, I was the princess of a dynasty of murderers and apostates. Who in their hubris thought they were bringing the light of civilization to an ungrateful world, even as they plunged it into a darkness so great that I will spend a hundred generations atoning for their crimes. What right have I to shirk my duties?"

    "I thought the same thing, and look where it got us." Aang hung his head. "All I can say is you're still a sixteen year old girl. The weight of the world is not supposed to be on your shoulders. But you don't have to bear it alone."

    Aang's spirit vanished like the morning mists. Azula's eyes grew heavy and soon sleep took her. She dreamed of icebergs, chattering her teeth as she clung to flotsam, shipwrecked in the cold polar fog. But soon the sun came, bright and warm, wrapping Azula in her loving arms.

    Azula's eyes fluttered open, meeting a familiar pair of baby blue eyes. On instinct, Azula reach up to run Yue's white hair through her fingers, to feel that she was real and not another dream. Yue giggled as another pulled closer behind Azula.

    "Azula dear," Katara whispered, "You fell sleep uncovered. I'm sure you know that's a bad idea."

    Azula murmured, "It didn't seem so cold at the time."

    "Well you're warmed up now," said Yue.

    "What are you doing here? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you both but–"

    "We've got a plan to get you a reprieve from Pakkue," Yue interrupted. "Turns out that rank has its privileges. I needed an escort to go consecrate a new lighthouse. And no one could exactly say no when I demanded my betrothed and her closest friend accompany me."

    Sleepy enough to forget decorum, Azula wrapped her arms around Yue's waist, clutching her tight. "Well, when do we leave?"

    "First light. I was hoping we could take your bison. Just the three of us for a couple of days. And what do you know, by the time we get back it will already be time for your Lodge's initiation rite."

    "Ah, that's too bad," said Katara, "I was soooo looking forward to eating more snow for that old goat."

    They were ready to leave in a flash. Wrapped in a fur-lined cloak, Azula schlepped her ruck sack down to the stables. Tail wagging, Ikki greeted her. "Yeah, we're going to fly again," said Azula.

    Ikki answered with a grunt.

    "No, it won't be far. Half a day at most. Yue and Katara will be joining us. BUt until they get here, I brought you something." Glancing around the empty stable, Azula whispered, "Tell no one."

    Azula pulled a jug of honeyed peaches from under her cloak. Saving one for herself, Azula poured a king's ransom worth of the sickeningly sweet imported fruit onto Ikki's waiting tongue. "Compliments of Yue," said Azula, taking a bite from her peach. Glancing around to make sure no one saw, she devoured the messy treat, licking her fingers clean.

    Ikki continued lapping up the remaining peaches from her trough, hooting excitedly.

    "Yeah, I like her too."

    Yue and Katara arrived soon after, railed by several of Yue's servants. When Azula offered to help Yue climb aboard, Yue's lady-in-waiting stepped in, eyebrows knitted and lips pursed.

    Unused to an animal Ikki's size, they struggled, and Yue ended up needing to grab Azula's hand to be pulled the rest of the way. Picking up their discarded dignity, the servants waved their goodbyes as Ikki launched into the air.

    The three huddled close in the chilly morning air, wrapped in a great wool blanket. It would have given ample time for conversation, had Katara and YUe not dozed off soon after take off. Azula had been yammering on about the beaches of Ember Island, the early paradise of warm sun and cool ocean breezes, only noticing that her friends were out cold when Yue started snoring on her shoulder.

    Giggling, Azula patted Yue's leg and whispered, "Sweet dreams. We'll see it together, some sunny day." A great melancholy came over her. She mumbled, like a quiet prayer, "Some day, when the war is over and the world no longer needs us. No swords nor hands to wield them. No crowns or palaces to keep."

    Azula sighed, glancing over her other shoulder to Katara. "It's fun to dream."

    At Natsiq Bay, the three were treated to a royal welcome. The clan chiefs hosted a feast that evening at the conclusion of the consecration, with Yue as the guest of honor. THe food was more traditional Water Tribe fair compared to the richer and more cosmopolitan capital. THe many courses of fish, seal, whale, yak and penguin were laid out on long tables. Smoked, roasted, braised, or even raw, dressed with hardy sauces and herbs from the tundra. An array of colorful side dished flanked each platter of game: boiled fireroot in seal oil dressing, seawood salads slathered in a crowberry vinaigrette, plates of black snow olives dressed with salt, boiled sweet vetch roots with sea prune relish, and many more that Azula did not recognize.

    The feasting went on and one. Too many courses. Too much beer and sima. Too many toasts and speeches. By the time Azula could make a polite exit and drag Yue away from the fanfare, she felt laden down with lead in her belly. Even one bite per dish adds up when everyone wants to hear what the Moon princess and the Avatar think about your offering.

    Azula flopped onto the pallet next to the hearth and groaned. Yue knelt beside her, patting her forehead.

    "Is the room spinning, or is that just me," said Azula.

    "I told you to pace yourself," said Yue.

    "I did. I thought you were the guest of honor, why were they pestering me?"

    "I've been here before. You're new. Out here they're a bit less jaded than in the capital about meeting the Avatar, even if she was born in the Fire Nation.

    Azula tried to sit up but lost her balanced and flopped back on the furs. "Ugh, where's Katara?"

    "Probably got caught in the crowds."

    Azula started to say something then stopped. Her mouth hung open for a moment. Her teeth snapped shut several times. "Did my teeth always fit like this?" She comped several more times.

    "I think you're drunk, dear."

    "I am not–" Azula once again was pulled back into the cushioned mire. "I am not–" another flop onto her back. "I am not drunk, I am just tipsy."

    "You drank men twice your size under the table."

    "As well I should! They should know their place, those dogs. I may be…be…fuck me, what's the word?"

    "Sheltered?"

    "Dignified! I may be dignified but I know what flirting looks like."

    "You are many things, morning star, but right now 'dignified' is not one of them."

    Katara slipped in the door and slammed it shut. Leaning against the iron-reinforced wood, Katara slumped and cried, "I think I finally gave them the slip."

    Azula perked up. "There you are! I was starting to get worried. What kept you?"

    "Well somebody started a rumor that I was honor bound to only marry a man who could best me in single combat, so I've been dodging duel challenges. Ugh, those numbskulls!"

    Yue giggled.

    "Don't laugh, it's not funny!"

    Azula snorted a single laugh. "Kinda is."

    "Well you're drunk."

    "And you're hot. Tomorrow I will be sober, and you'll still be hot. Of course they're going to believe anything silly if it means they've got a chance with you." Azula smiled looking pleased as punch until she realized what she'd said. "Err, I mean–"

    Yue patted Azula's head. "No take backs, even in front of your fiancee. Besides, you're not wrong."

    Katara sat on the bedding on Azula's other side "I didn't think there'd be this much fanfare, even for a princess."

    Yue went still. She glanced down at her sleeves, worrying at a loose thread. Her stoic calm was a thin mask; even drunk as she was, Azula found the wherewithal to sit up. Like a child afraid of burning herself, Azula reached out, hovering inches from Yue's shoulder before finally touching.

    Yue sighed. "I suppose you should know about it."

    "About what?" Katara said, leaning in."

    Yue flopped back onto the bed, taking Azula with her. She turned to face Azula, wriggling closer till their knees bumped together. "I died as a baby. Or at least I should have."

    Azula took Yue's hands in hers, leaving the loose thread to lie. "I don't care what bargain your father struck, no one will take you from me."

    Yue smiled as Katara nodded emphatically. "Would that it were that simple," said Yue, "I was born weak and sickly. WHen it appeared there was no hope left, my father beseeched the Great Spirits that watch over the Tribe to intercede. Tui…she gave a gift that terrible night. I breathed again, opened my eyes and saw my father and mother crying tears of joy. My hair turned white. And though I'd been born a non-bender, the gift of Waterbending was now mine."

    Azula nodded. Lost in the moment, she brushed a lock of hair out of Yue's eyes. That treacherous, insubordinate hand found its way to Yue's cheek. Yue's slender fingers touched hers, pressing her hand tight to Yue's cheek. "Oh…" Azula said, jolting to her sense, "Forgive my impertinence–"

    "No," Yue interrupted, "I need it like a drowning man needs air. I've lived apart from everyone for so long, a 'sacred vessel', not a child, to everyone. Before you came, before my father found his scheme, I'd almost forgotten the warmth of human touch."

    Yue leaned in and kissed Azula. With a come hither motion, she beckoned Katara to join lips with her as well. Fire alarm red rose on Azula's cheeks, burning hotter than the alcohol. As Katara settled back in, she pulled Azula's lips to hers before resting her cheek on Azula's.

    Yue huddled closer. "The truth is I was never a child. Not really. I think the real Yue never opened her eyes. I opened my eyes knowing a world I should know nothing of, speaking adult words out of the mouth of a little girl. And I've known, all my life, that whatever was given to me, I'll have to give it back some day."

    "Many, many years from now," said Azula with finality, as though she commanded the Lathe of Heaven itself. "It's a journey we all make, Yue."

    Yue shook her head. "I don't know how I know. But I know I'm not meant for a normal life. When I close my eyes, I can hear the sea calling to me."

    Azula could find no words in any tongue to comfort Yue. How could she pretend to know that Yue's fate wasn't fixed, when she could not be sure her own fate wasn't immutable. THen Azula remembered that foreboding dream, watching down upon the Earth from the Moon, the ethereal Yue lamenting the immutability of her destiny.

    Perhaps they were both dead in that prophecy. For the first time in her life, Azula wondered if all her power and skill would be in the end useless; that all her labors were in vain and the Fire Nation had already carved its bloody destiny in stone before she was born.

    Real, bone-chilling fear rose in Azula, taller than Mount Patola, deeper and wider than the oceans. And there she was, suspended over that sea of fear on a bridge made of paper, inscribed with the thousand names of the godhead, counting one more hidden name to herself.

    Azula only realized she'd dissociated when Katara's lips pressed to hers again. "Just breathe, Azula. Slow, deep breaths."

    Azula's pounding heart slowed. Yue pressed her lips to Azula's again. The princess rose, and began undoing the clasps on her dress. "I hadn't stopped to worry about any of this until I met you both. What was the point in worrying about the inevitable? BUt now the idea of leaving you behind is more than I can bear.

    Katara nodded and unbuttoned her jacket. Azula swallowed, but her throat was suddenly dry. She blinked, fearing that any moment she'd awake to a cold reality admonishing her for dreaming the impossible dream.

    "I will not leave you willingly." The dress dropped into a pool at Yue's feet. "Not without making sure I will not regret leaving things unsaid or undone."

    It was like a typhoon descending on Azula, a thimbleful of the incredible power of the Avatar State surged through her; a flash of blue in her eyes and instant sobriety followed. She tore her coat off, scattering buttons on the floor. The vest and vambraces followed soon after.

    There was no hesitation from any of them. In an instant, the three young women were under a blanket, with nothing left between them. Yue lay on her back in the center, squirming with delight under the kisses and gentle caresses of both Azula and Katara.

    "We're making a mistake," Yue gasped, "but I don't care."

    Azula threaded her fingers through Yue's hair and pulled their lips together. All delicacy had left Yue; she hungered for Azula's lips, wasting no time in tugging her closer. Azula did not relent, not even as Katara's teeth sank into her neck, demanding her turn. Only when her lungs screamed for air did pull back, only to be freshly smothered by Katara's kiss.

    Only the desperation brought on by the profane knowledge that every moment might be their last could shut out the admonishing voice in Azula's head. That voice, that spoke variously in the guise of her father or mother, had been smothered entirely. Sharing her bed with two women she'd come to love, Azula was at last alone in her own head.

    Yue had tried to turn the tables, her hands descending to squeeze Azula's butt, teasing between her thighs in a silent offer of pleasure. Azula stopped suddenly, propped up on her arms. Azula reached down and entwined her fingers with Yue's. Shaking her head, Azula said, "Sorry, I guess I'm not ready after all. It's nothing you said or did, Yue. But I don't trust myself yet with that. After…after–" the words died in her throat.

    Yue leaned, silencing Azula's yammering with her lips. Katara knelt beside Azula, tracing her fingers along the scars on Azula's back. She whispered, "There's nothing to be sorry for. Do you want to stop?"

    Azula sat back on her haunches. Yue sat up, taking Azula's other hand. Nothing but love in her eyes, Yue said, "There's nothing you could say that would make me love you any less. But you don't have to say anything."

    "No, I should." Azula half smiled and gave Katara another kiss. "The thought of feeling…that…made me want to hurt you until you scream my name. Because I can't tell the difference. Pleasure hurts and pain is sublime, it all runs together. I want to be hurt by you, until I beg you to make me come."

    They sat in silence, but were true to their word. Saying it out loud made it almost seem absurd. Never in her life had Azula any real urge to do anything untoward, to cross any boundary. But she'd lived so tightly wound up in control and self-discipline that even the desire for something was an absolute terror. She'd felt that way about her desires for women once, but she'd moved past it.

    As Yue and Katara pulled her onto the bed, and snuggled up close, Azula felt such sublime relief, like the end of a year's long sickness. It wasn't a barrier, just an obstacle. She wouldn't lose control. And while they were undoubtedly a little weirded out by it, it was only because Katara and Yue took it all in stride.

    As drowsiness started to set in, Yue whispered, "You know, the more I think about it, the more I'm intrigued by it."

    Azula open her eyes. "Huh?"

    "Sadism. Masochism. I need to learn to walk before I run, but I'm not opposed."

    Katara snuggled closer. "I'm lowkey into the idea too."

    "I love you girls," Azula said. "I really mean it."

    "Love you too," they said in chorus. Giggling followed.


    Azula had always taken great pride in her physique; through great diligence and effort, she'd sculpted herself into a peak of athleticism, balancing strength with grace, speed with endurance. Her world-travels in the past year had served as a whetstone to further hone her body.

    Yet none of it could prepare her for today's exertion. The Wolf Lodge's initiation rite, a great hunt out in the Spirit Wilds, had seemed like a welcome relief from Master Pakku's sadism, and she'd very smugly shoved her duties to the lodge in the man's face.

    Now she was eating her words, trudging one foot in front of the other through the snow as the freezing tundra winds whipped her skin and sucked the warmth from her bones. The snowshoes felt like lead as they crunched the crusted snow. Legs like jelly, shivering in the howling storm, she trudged on with the column.

    The Lodge warriors conversed as they marched, or sang marching cadences. Azula was at a loss for how they had the strength. The sled dogs yapped behind, tails bobbing at each exciting new smell.

    They'd crossed the tundra into the taiga just after twilight. Still they marched on through the haunted forest for another hour before stopping at the Lodge's prepared camp. The clearing in the pines was ringed with carefully sculpted igloos as well as a scattering of wooden buildings. About ready to die, Azula sloughed off her back and fell out of the column, taking her rest on a log bench.

    It took almost ten minutes to find the chi necessary for the Breath of Fire technique. Warmth returned to her skin. She checked her extremities for signs of frostbite, sighing with relief. Even the exposed skin of her face had held up. She'd always thought of it merely as warpaint, but the herbal mixture had also insulated her skin from the cold, and served as an effective balm against the dry arctic winds.

    Lanaq trudged across the fresh powder towards her. Behind him, the Waterbenders of the Lodge cleared the snow from the camp, reinforcing the windbreak that ringed it. Azula hobbled to her feet, saying, "I know, no excuse, I'll fall back in."

    Lanaq was inscrutable behind the wolf paint. "I'd heard that you volunteered to join the bear hunt tomorrow."

    Azula nodded.

    "This is foolish."

    "I have to prove that I am every bit as capable, or they'll never respect me."

    Lanaq covered the distance in a single great stride. He towered over, glaring down at her. "You will hold your tongue until I have finished saying what I have to say."

    Azula snapped to attention on instinct. "Yes sir," she said automatically.

    "You, of all people, cannot afford to be reckless. Your body is not meant for this climate. Even as much as Katara has tried to prepare you, you are still like a child in your skills. A gifted child, but a child nonetheless. Winter is almost here, and this land claims the lives of many brave, and experienced tribesmen. Do you understand?"

    "Yes sir."

    "Good. You will withdraw your name from that hunt, and do something more sensible." Lanaq's glared softened, and she shook his head. "You remind me too much of my son, sometimes. He too always had something to prove."

    In a single sentence, Lanaq had managed to wound Azula more than anyone since her own father. And unlike those old scars, where Azula was slowly internalizing that it truly wasn't her fault, there was no denying that she was the architect of this.

    "Now, if you want to do something sensible–" Lanaq held up an iron hatchet and a firewood sling, "Go gather deadwood. Just stay in sight of the camp."

    In a way, she was thankful for the busywork. It gave time for the bruising to her ego to recede before she had to face her lodge brothers. She picked through the forest, knocking off low-lying dead branches until she found a downed tree propped up on its larger limbs, the perfect source of firewood.

    It had been a great tree when it lived, easily a hundred feet tall, and its many gnarled and knotted limbs promised a rich source of resin-impregnated 'fatwood', a highly prized tinder source for non-benders, especially in the arctic. Grinning ear-to-ear, she got to work immediately. It didn't take long before she had her sling overloaded with knotted branches. Rather than making another trip, she used some cords to bundle more into fagots for easier carrying.

    The Spirit Aurora made working after nightfall relatively easy. It was all going like clockwork–until she heard a twig snap behind her. Startled, Azula spun around. One glance and she jumped back up against the fallen log, heart racing.

    A wolf stood barely ten feet away. It watched her panic with an amused cock of its head. Realizing this wolf was taller than her at the shoulder did little to calm Azula. Taking a deep breath, she slowly lowered the hatchet clutched in her right hand. "Okay, I'm not going to hurt you. But you should go, I'm not a good meal."

    The wolf stepped closer, sniffing the air.

    "You don't want to eat me, and I don't want to fight you." She wasn't sure why she kept talking to the dire wolf. Perhaps it made her feel like the situation was under control. She didn't exactly have much time to think about it facing such a giant.

    Then the wolf spoke, and Azula felt like jumping out of her skin. "Eat you, Avatar?" he said in a rich baritone, licking its chops, "Eat you out, certainly. Oh, how many eons and reincarnations has it been?"

    "No, fuck off, I'm not having an episode right here–"

    "Calm yourself, I am no hallucination." To prove it, the great wolf strode forward and licked her face."

    Pressed up against the log, a knot digging into her back, Azula's heart pounded like a kettle drum. "What…what on earth?"

    "Oh Avatar, I'm hurt! You wear my mark on your face, yet you don't recognize your old friend and lover, Amarok the Great Wolf?" Amarok sniffed her again, "Oh wow, you still have that new reincarnation smell. No wonder you don't remember."

    It took Azula a moment to collect herself. Moving slowly and deliberately, she extricated herself from between the god-wolf's bulk and the log. "Okay, let's say I believe you. I am certainly not looking to rekindle an old romance with a local god."

    Amarok howled with laughter, "Oh that's cute, given how things are going with another god. Or goddess. Not that it matters; gender may seem as constant as the Northern Star to mortals, it is more a 'vibe', as the kids call it these days. And we're both old enough to know that even the Northern Star ain't that constant."

    "I don't understand. What goddess?"

    "You monkeys have such big brains and somehow you just never bother to use them."

    It suddenly clicked. "Yue?"

    "There you go, took you long enough. Can't say I'm not a little miffed you don't remember me, but well, the Moon's a good choice. Oh…you're not to that part yet." Amarok laughed uneasily, "It's fine, don't worry about it."

    "Okay…so why'd you come find me now."

    "I'll tell you, but you gotta do something for me first."

    Azula scowled. "God or not, choose your next words with exceptional care."

    "Nothing that bad. Just scratch behind my ears." Amarok pawed at his ear with his hind leg, muttering, "this just doesn't get the job done."

    Rolling her eyes, Azula took off her mittens and started scratching. "I find it hard to believe you came to me just for this."

    "Oooh yeah, that's the spot. Listen, you've got a rotator cuff, you don't know how good you've got it. When you've lived this long, you learn not to turn down a helping hand."

    "So what was the other thing?"

    "I thought I'd bring some helpful advice."

    "What's that?"

    "Stop trying to be something that you're not."

    "You don't hardly know me. Not this current life."

    "Oh but I do. Even if I didn't know you as I did, I can smell it on you. That other girl, Katara? I like her. She is a true devotee of the Wolf Lodge, and she goes into battle with my name on her lips and in her heart. Brave, loyal to a fault, a real team player. She's nice, don't get me wrong, I can see why you've fallen for her. But you should stop trying to be like her, because you're not."

    Azula's immediate gut instinct was flat denial. "That's absurd. Ridiculous. You came all this way to talk yak shit?"

    "Oh, you're picking up the lingo too. It's almost cute. No, I really mean it. Ever since she fished you out of the ocean, you've been trying to be something more like her. But you're not a wolf, Azula. You never have been. You're a fox pretending to be a wolf."

    "Keep talking like this and see if I scratch your other ear."

    "See, you know I'm right. Why else would you be out here? I don't even blame you, you want somewhere to belong, and that's the thing Katara gave you unconditionally. But what are you trying to prove? It's not your courage or being honorable that's going to save the world, it's your wits. Your compassion unfettered by sentimentality." Amarok's laughter was low and throaty, like a growl. "It's probably better this way, you not being able to see the path before you like I do." Amarok licked his chops again. "Oh, it's deeply hateful to me and everything that I am. But one still has to respect such skill, such adaptability, such numbing ruthlessness; to be able to love someone enough to kill them."

    Amarok strutted away just as suddenly as he came, vanishing into the icy fog. Even with the fiery chi Azula pumped through her body, a bone-ratting chill descended on her.


    The sun had dipped behind the mountains. But the sky was still bright, glowing vermillion and jade with the dance of the Spirit aurora. The day's work concluded, the hunting party now gathered around the bonfire. The air was still thick with the smell of blood, even as the prize cuts roasted on spits over coals. Laughter filled the camp, boosted by the skins of sima honey-wine passed around.

    Azula sat hip-to-hip with Katara, their cheeks glowing from the liquor. In spite of the Lodge's hazing, the initiation into the hunt had been a great sport. The thrill of the chase had made doing the grunt work worth it, and now having speared a great tuttuvak, they were accepted as full members.

    As they dined on their game, the men of the Lodge entertained one another with tales of heroism and humor. Some told tales of great feats by their ancestors or heroes of the tribe. Others told of their humorous misfortunes, especially the misfortunes of love

    Somewhere along the way the combination of warm food, alcohol and the long day had caught up to Azula. She was fading in and out, resting her weary head on Katara's shoulder. The stories went in one ear and out the other, until hearing her name aroused her awake.

    "--Azula? Azula?" Qiniq's gruff voice broke through her stupor. "Ah, I was beginning to fear our young brother had enough excitement for one day."

    Rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes, Azula took another swig of sima, letting the burn help wake her. "No, just resting my eyes."

    "And your tongue too. We've been sharing stories all night, it is your turn to share one."

    "Well I wouldn't know where to start."

    Tarlok, a younger warrior in his mid twenties, piped up. "Tell us one of the stories of your ancestors."

    Azula chewed it over for a moment. "Oh, I do have one, one of my personal favorites. This one goes back to when the world was young, back to when my ancestors first came to the Fire Isles."

    "It must be a grand tale to be remembered for so long."

    "It is! It concerns the flight of the ancient Bharata from their old homeland in Aryavarta, and the foundation of the old kingdom in the Fire Isles, which the modern Fire Nation claims is its spiritual ancestor."

    Azula had to fend off questions like 'where is Aryavarta' to avoid going on scholarly tangents; if the Fire Sages themselves could not come up with a definitive, unanimous answer to burning questions of old legends, then she certainly wasn't going to solve it. She went on with her abridged retelling.

    "The Bharata tribe sailed across the serpent-filled seas, only to come to a land already inhabited by another kingdom, the Amaterasi, devotees of the Sun Spirit. After a brief war, peace was found, and the Bharata founded a kingdom at the foot of a great volcano."

    Azula elided out much of the who begat who she remembered from the Rigveda. What was important was that there was intermarriage between the two tribes, something she gave a summarized version of. "From the union of these tribes came many great heroes, but the one this tale is about is Arjuna, the legendary founder of my House back in deep antiquity."

    "He must have been a great warrior to have his name remembered for so long," Qiniq said, stroking his beard.

    "Indeed! He was already a hero of renown for his cunning and bravery when our tale begins with the death of the old king of the Amaterasi, and the conflict over succession between two sons from different wives: the elder Jikokuten, Chosen of the Sun, born of his father's marriage to his first wife, a Sun Warrior princess, and the younger Yudhishthra, born to a Bharata princess."

    "Why did the eldest not succeed?" asked Ornlu.

    "The old Maharaja had wished to divide his kingdom among all his living sons, for he loved them all and had raised them all to be fine warriors. But Jikokuten had grown arrogant from the adulation of his younger brothers, and so claimed the whole of the kingdom. Many of his brothers were unwilling to dispute him, while others rallied around the second son."

    "A very grave matter, defying your father's wishes," Lanaq said solemnly.

    "Though the matter was fated to end in bloodshed, Arjuna, one of the youngest brothers, and sworn to Yudhishthra, defied his liege's wishes and tried to negotiate peace between the two camps as they marshaled for war. With his blood-brother Krishna, Arjuna went to Jikokuten's palace to urge peace, to return at the very least what was not his by right. But arrogantly, Jikokuten insults his guests and conspires to murder them."

    "Oh, now this is getting interesting," Katara said.

    "Indeed, Arjuna escapes in the dead of night, dodging arrows and fire from the Sun Warriors, fearing Krishna dead to the enemy's treachery. But after fighting off the enemy host at daybreak, Arjuna returned to his father's camp to find, to his great mirth, that Krishna is already there safe, having already given the warning to Yudhishthira."

    The bonfire had begun to wax and wane with the beats of Azula's story, creeping down to embers with the low points, roaring high in moments of conflict, shifting between red and blue.

    "While Krishna urges them to wage righteous war, Arjuna is still conflicted. Whatever is between them in this war, they are still his kin, and most of them are only doing their duty. But Arjuna reluctantly gathers his bow, his chariot, and his best steed, asking Krishna to serve as his charioteer."

    Azula stood now, remembering how her uncle had told the tale around the campfires of the Great Hunt when she was little. Bitterly, she remembered her father smiling despite himself, when he was still a prince. Ozai had been severe for as long as Azula could remember. This smiling version of her father felt like a stranger.

    Tapping her foot rhythmically, Azula continued her story. "The war drums pounded, the horns blared, as the great armies marched onto the field of Kurushtetra to settle the matter. But Arjuna is still conflicted. As his chariot rolls past the enemy lines, he sees the faces of friends, brothers, cousins, nephews, all clad in warpaint and armor for the battle to come, and his grip loosens on his bow."

    The fire burned low now, glowing pale. "Arjuna talks with Krishna, asking the guru's advice. Krishna counsels him on the righteousness of their cause and his duties to his king to fight bravely and gloriously. And they both know Arjuna is no coward, having faced far worse odds than this before. But never with his kin."

    The flames danced like fighters fearful to clash, licking at the glowing coals, but not consuming. "But Krishna does not waver. A hero yet a trickster, a warrior yet guru, Krishna smiles at his friend, and ends the masquerade."

    The fire roared to life, burning high and blue, searing hot. "Krishna reveals himself to be a Great Spirit, an incarnation of Vishnu, gleaming blue in his many-armed, many-eyed form." Azula traced the arc of the lightning kata arms wide, crackling with electricity. For a moment, her eyes glowed blue, and the after image of her arms hung in the air, stunning the audience to silence. "Arjuna cannot turn away; he can only bow and listen as Krishna says, 'Time am I, the mighty cause of world destruction, come hither to shatter worlds. Even without any deed of yours, all these warriors arrayed in their opposing ranks shall perish.' Arjuna sees the totality of the universe in Vishnu, humbled and overawed with deep religious terror.

    "But Vishnu does not reveal himself to terrorize. He tells Arjuna to rise proudly, go forth and conquer proudly, 'For these warriors are already slain by Me, and you will only be an instrument of My work.' Having seen the infinite and lived to tell about it, Arjuna stands to do his duty."

    "Must be quite the battle to have a great battle to have Anguta involved," Lanaq remarked.

    "Seems more like Issitoq to me," said Qinniq.

    Azula cleared her throat. "In the old religion, Vishnu is said to be known by a thousand names, but whatever name we call him, he is right. The battle at Kurushtetra rages on for eighteen days, and by the end, only a handful are counted among the survivors, including the victorious Arjuna. It is said that the Firebending unleashed that day birthed a new star and remade the world under its scorching gaze."

    Katara punched Azula's arm. "Leave it to you to tell a story about the 'mighty cause of world destruction,' you dork."

    "It's hard to pick just one!" Azula said, "Either way, the drinks are piling up, and I have to answer the call of nature."

    "The call of nature…you dork," Katara laughed.

    It was going to be a longtime before Azula unlearned all those polite euphemisms. If ever. Growling, she trudged off away from the campfire to find some privacy to relieve herself. She still managed to keep her legs under her, but she definitely had more to drink than she had realized and would be paying for this in the morning.

    She found cover behind snow-flocked trees, and squatted to relieve herself. She miscalculated the depth of snow, and felt the cold brush of snow on her bare butt. The shiver was like lightning up her spine. "I am never getting used to this," she growled.

    It would have been an entirely uneventful bathroom break, had she managed to spend it alone. A voice, ancient yet timeless, familiar and alien, filled the empty air beside her. "Interesting story," the voice said with thinly contained laughter, "but that's not how I remember it."

    Azula's eyes shot to the source of the voice. The spirit was manifest only for a moment before it evaporated. Beautiful, androgynous, with unblemished blue skin and hair black as night. Azula's heart skipped a beat. Alone in the clearing now, she silently thanked providence that she'd already relieved herself before it happened, for she didn't dare to think the name of whom she'd just met.


    The trip back across the glacier to Agna Qel'a proved more hospitable. The air was still through the day, and the faint sun warmed Azula's body. Perhaps the ten days of hard labor had done her good, because while it was far from effortless, the trek back was not wasting her. She could almost see the glimmer of the blue ocean at the edge of the horizon. It would not be long now.

    Katara marched behind her. "I don't know about you, but I am definitely looking forward to a warm bath."

    The old men muttered about the youth and their corrupting luxuries, but heavens, Azula could almost feel it on her skin already. There was only so much good sauna and strigils could do, especially without access to laundry. Azula glanced back at Katara and nodded. They shared a knowing look, as the gears already whirred in Azula's head, conspiring to find privacy and alone time for three young women.

    Azula turned back to the setting sun. A black splotch hung in the sky below the blood-red clouds. Azula cocked her head, quickening her pace. It was moving. Another emerged from beyond the horizon. Then another. They moved against the direction of the clouds.

    Azula rushed forward, ice clenching at her heart. The prelate shouted for her to return to the column. But she needed to know.

    Azula raised pillars of ice up before her, bounding up them like stairs, as high as she dared. From atop the last pillar, she stopped. A dozen airships with on the horizon, in two squadrons of six spaced miles apart. Between them, the belching black smokestacks of a line of battleships emerged over the horizon, flanked by squadrons of smaller cruisers.

    "Azula!" Katara shouted. "What do you see?"

    "They're coming."

    Miles away, a man of great ambition stood at parade rest on the bridge of the Fire Navy airship Fuze, licking his lips with anticipation. He ran a thumb over his mutton chop sideburns, making sure they were perfectly coifed for his moment of triumph.

    The airship's captain collapsed a spyglass and turned to him. "Colonel Zhao, we're at the point of no return."

    "Proceed, Captain. We're about to change the course of history. Our names will be remembered forever in the annals of the Fire Nation's history."

    The thing cut in the glacier leading to the Spirit Oasis was just visible now. The airship's engines strained as the Firebending crew maxed out her boilers. The sun was setting on the Water Tribe. Of that, Zhao was certain.


    Notes: Oh wow, it's taken a long time to get this one out, the product of snags, writer's block, and of course, the long travail of job hunting and getting situated at a new job. This one confounded me more than any other chapter, so much so that I literally wrote almost the entire rest of the fic before getting this final keystone into place. But it's ready finally.

    After such a long absence, please don't be a stranger, let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy!
     
  • Threadmarks
    • 14. Kali Yuga
  • Threadmarks
    • Kali Yuga

    Our tale is coming to the moment of destiny, young prince. The great clash of Fire against Ice raging, with the devious Colonel Zhao standing at the fulcrum. The Fire Lord had poured all the Nation's might, the newest and most terrible instruments of war, into a great gamble. Seldom are wars won or lost in a single night. But Zhao would wage, by force or guile, eternal war against the Heavens themselves to bring greatness to his name.


    Sokka had no responsibilities, formal or informal. As a guest, he would not be expected to take up arms in defense of the city. When he and Suki came to the palace marshalling yard, clad in the full raiment of war anyway, the palace castellan insisted that they be dismissed. They would not stoop so low, he'd said, to let a guest and a foreigner woman fight their battles for them.

    So the soldiers mustered out, leaving Sokka behind. Helmet tucked under an arm, hand resting on the hilt at his hip, he seethed with impotent rage. He strained against the too tight armor, like a leash holding him back. "Hard to believe I came this far, only to be told to sit this one out," he said.

    Suki watched the sun dipping to the horizon. She fidgeted, popping the habaki on her katana in and out of the scabbard. "Well it's going to be a long night of waiting anyway. Night attacks and firebenders don't mix."

    "I can't stand sitting and doing nothing."

    "You know better than that. We strike at the opportune moment."

    "Which is now. Those airships were bigger than the ones Azula told us about. They've got to be up to no good." Sokka glanced back at Suki, arching an eyebrow. "After all, I am a guest. Couldn't hurt anything to go take a look."

    Suki raised an eyebrow as well. "I suppose we could. We wouldn't technically be fighting."

    "Just reconnoitering."

    "And what they do with the intelligence, that's up to the Chief."

    "And should we meet opposition, naturally we'd have to defend ourselves."

    "Naturally."

    A third voice interjected, "Oh, I do love a good scheme."

    Suki jumped out of her skin, finding Yue grinning behind her. "Oh…princess! We were just talking about hypotheticals."

    Sokka made a great show of rubbing his head. "Oh yeah, we're all hat and no yak over here, you know how it is."

    Yue patted his shoulder. "Well, if we're talking hypotheticals, what if a certain princess wanted to come along?"

    Suki wrinkled her nose. "Don't even kid about that."

    Yue's eyebrows furrowed as she clenched her fists. "I could always tell my father about your 'hypotheticals'."

    Sokka threw his hands up. "Great, so we get to choose between your father killing us now or killing us later."

    "You're not cut out for this, princess," said Suki.

    As the princess's hackles raised, the snow around her swirled, rising into a halo of razor sharp ice. "I can't stand by and do nothing!" shouted Yue. Aware suddenly of her own strength, the icy dervish around her halted, ice daggers hanging in the air. "I don't know how to explain it. But the sea is calling to me. A terrible calamity is coming and all I know is I have to do something. Or everything is lost."

    Her voice had become small, like a child's. It reminded Sokka of the helpless boy he once was: a boy who cried and screamed for any spirit who could hear him to give him the strength to never be helpless again. "Okay," he said with a sigh. "I don't like it. I don't approve of it. But I understand."

    "Sokka, you can't be serious," said Suki.

    "It's her life, Suki. Who am I to say she can't use it to protect the people she loves?"

    Suki glanced between Yue and Sokka. "Yue, what's the quickest route up the western glacier?"

    Yue's ice storm scattered into puffs of snow. She smoothed the pleats of her dress. "Thank you, Sokka, Suki. THere's a hidden passage behind the old barracks. I think I know the way through. Follow me."

    It was not hard to slip away. This troubled Sokka greatly. Even with the chaos of the mustering troops and fleeing civilians sheltering behind the palace battlements, it should not have been so easy for a princess to slip away. As he walked behind Yue, sword drawn, he worried they might be treated like abductors.

    The winding ice passage led up the glacier wall in switchbacks. Once Yue cleared the hidden entrance of ice, they emerged fifty yards from the cliff edge, in the midpoint of the glacier wall.

    A gentle wind blew seaward. The last pale glow rose from behind the horizon. The the once placid Spirit Aurora swirled in frenzies of green, red and blue. The ill omen chilled his blood. He'd only seen it like this once before, one night when he was barely three. His mouth ran dry, the smalls hairs on his neck stood on end. His hand gripping the tsurugi sword trembled.

    Suki buttoned her parka, teeth rattling. She pointed skyward. "That doesn't look good. Even I can tell."

    Unfettered by the cold winds despite wearing only her silk dress, Yue nodded. "It's worse than I feared."

    Sokka scanned the frozen horizon, pushing past the sinking feeling in his belly. Agna Qel'a's formidable land defenses were barely visible several miles out. The ring of watch towers, strong points and ice palisade had been totally bypassed. The watchfires of a dozen armed camps now ringed the city, just out of sight of the defenders in the city. Men had died by the thousands trying crossing the ice desert atop the glacier in ages past, dying in vain before the impregnable fortress city. A fortress second only to the country-unto-itself that was Ba Sing Se.

    Perhaps the garrisons would be recalled in time. But for now they were on their own, against an enemy preparing to enfilade the defenders of Agna Qel'a.

    Suki spied the nearest airship tied down on the glacier ice some distance away. She handed the spyglass to Sokka. He counted only four torchlights at this one. No watchfires, no palisades. He might have missed it entirely in the dark had Suki not shown him. He bit his tongue. The others carried at least a company of troops.

    "There's only four," said Suki. "No way that four men ran a ship that size. Where's the rest of them?"

    "My thoughts exactly. There's a fissure, leads right up to that ship. We can use it to conceal our approach, at least to the last ten or so paces. Of all of them, this one troubles me the most."

    Suki put a comforting hand on Yue's shoulder. "Princess, just stay behind me and it'll be alright."

    Yue nodded. Tension coiled in her body, but she did not tremble.

    Suki stepped to the front, volunteering to lead, til, Sokka grabbed her free hand. "Wait, Suki."

    "Come now, Sokka, you can't be the one to play the hero all the time," teased Suki. But as she turned, and saw the grave look on Sokka's face.

    "Suki. Don't die. I mean it."

    Eyes misty, Suki crushed him in a hug until his ribs creaked. "I love you too, dummy."

    The sunken rift was not so deep as Sokka had hoped. The white glacier ice created stark silhouettes even in the dim Aurora light. He supposed he'd grown too accustomed to to the bountiful camouflage and concealment opportunities in the sun lands. Returning to the world of his tribe was a splash of cold water.

    Amarok, o' wise wolf, lord of the hunters, prayed Sokka, I ask only that you look after Yue, daughter of Arnook, for she is brave but still has much to learn. Sokka peered around the end of the fissure, at least getting a good view of the airship. The ruddy zeppelin rocked in the wind, hovering just above the ice. Black smoke belched from the twin stacks in its center. THe metallic clangs from inside its great hulk reminded Sokka of a blacksmith's shop.

    A man emerged from the hulk, huffing, face black with soot. He joined his compatriots around a coal brazier. They thunder of distant catapults did not draw their attention. As far as Sokka could tell, their one and only concern right now was grumbling about the cold. "Four confirmed. Don't know how many are benders."

    "Can we get any closer?" said Suki.

    "No, not without a distraction."

    A wolf howled over the next rise. The four soldiers turned to the sound, hands reaching for this swords.

    Like that! Sokka leapt over the rift without a word, sword trailing behind. The man turned only just in time to see the cut fall on his neck, smashing through the aventail to draw hot red blood onto the ice.

    Careless as they'd been, these men were not the green recruits he'd fought at Shuǐshān. The other three were on him in an instant, raining savage blows at him. Each parry ripple dup his arm. Suki had arrived just in time to peel off one, but soon they were herded back-to-back, fighting against three circling swordsmen who knew better than to give them any time to recover.

    Sokka managed a lucky hit against one of them, feinting past his guard to strike at his head. But when the tip struck the soldier's conical helm, it broke off. He stumbled back, ear's ringing, but now Sokka was left with a whole foot less on his blade.

    "Oh damn it, I was finally getting good with you, and now you betray me?" said Sokka.

    "I don't think the sword can hear you," said Suki.

    Now at a disadvantage, things were looking pretty dire. One of the soldiers got a good cut in on Suki's leg. They were losing by many little cuts.

    Until a barrage of ice daggers shot in, shattering off the Fire Nation soldier's armor. The soldiers swatted at the projectiles, snarling at the gleaming white haired princess. And failing to notice the tendril of water snaking down low, until it froze tight around a man's legs and hoisted him high.

    Twirling her arms, Yue slammed the soldier back and forth until he let go of his sword and flicked blood with each slam. Finding her second wind, Suki stabbed through another soldier's guard, putting a shallow puncture in the man's belly.

    The last found himself swept off the cliff by a torrent of water. His screams ended with an abrupt thud. "Oh…oh dear," said Yue. "I only wanted to knock him off his feet."

    Suki glanced at Sokka, sharing a grimace. She hobbled over, putting a had on Yue's shoulder. "I know it's hard killing, but it was him or us, Yue."

    "Oh, that's not it. I wanted him alive so we could interrogate him. Dead men can't talk."

    Sokka laughed through the pain in his ribs. "Well, I'm glad you're taking it well. We can always search the airship. The ashmakers have a habit of writing important things down anyway."

    The interior of the airship was painted in a dull anti-rust red. A low rumble travelled up Sokka's legs from the deck grates. He waited inside the entrance as Yue finished patching up Yue's wound. Once they followed him in, Sokka moved bow-ward, towards the glazed front that no doubt held the ship's bridge.

    The winding corridors were lit by glowing overhead orbs. Azula had spoke of gas lamps in her homeland. Sokka had long wondered what powered them. The orbs were connected by metal pipes running along the ceiling. A chill ran through Sokka. It beat fumbling around a dark labyrinth, but Sokka certainly didn't want to spend any more time here than he had to.

    The bridge was deserted, with only the occasional hiss of steam to greet them. The panorama of glass gave an excellent view forward and below, but visibility above was blocked by the main body of the airship, which contained the hot air that gave the craft buoyancy. Sokka filed that fact away for later use.

    Some usual fixtures of modern steamships filled the bridge's stations: a wheel, speaking tubes, and a navigational chart. Others seemed peculiar to the functions of the airship. The navigational chart was covered with papers. Sokka began rifling through them.

    Most were written in the Elder language in the formal hànzì characters, but others were written in the vulgar syllabary. Azula had taught him some of it, but he still found it difficult, especially when hand-written. Most of the maps and scrolls on the charts concerned Agna Qel'a. Judging from the dates, they were almost entirely pre-war and no doubt of dubious reliability.

    Suki and Yue joined in. It didn't take long for a pattern to emerge. This ship's crew had been focused on infiltration into the city, searching for routes not unlike the ones Yue had led them up.

    Yue suddenly turned pale. "Sokka! We have to go back. Now."

    "Hold on, I think this one is getting me somewhere," said Sokka. "It's the captain's log, he keeps noting a special objective. There's a word he keeps using, sounding it out, I think it's 'Chandra', but I don't know what it means."

    Suki perked up. "Chandra? Wait, Yue, what are you holding?"

    Yue showed an ancient parchment scroll, faded from centuries of dry rot. The characters were older and more intricate than the modern standard. She recognized the names 'Tui' and 'La' in the first paragraph.

    "Chandra," said Suki, her heart sinking, "Is the Fire Nation name for the Moon Spirit. Yue, you said there was something guarded behind the palace in the Spirit Oasis, but you were sworn to secrecy about it."

    Yue swallowed hard. "They have an old fable about Tui and La, one that's older and more complete than any of the written ones i've seen before."

    Sokka slammed the log down. "Tui and La…it's just a fable right. Yue, tell me it's just a fable." When Yue shook her head, "You mean they've been here the whole time? No…no they wouldn't. Not even them, how could they be so stupid?"

    "Sokka dear, you're rambling," said Suki.

    "We have to go. Now!"


    Agna Qel'a was already burning. The pillars of smoke stabbed the night sky, glowing angry red from the infernos below. Beyond the haze and the raining ash, the wine-dark sea glittered with gaslight lanterns.

    From atop the bluff, Azula counted the armada, staring stone-faced as the catapults lobbed their incendiaries onto the city. Seventy-five, she thought, and that's just in the bay. Father…how long have you been planning this? She glanced up at the full moon. Madness. Complete madness. Beginning an attack of this scale at night; what am I not seeing?

    "It's a shame," said Yana. The young warrior stroked his patchy beard. "No chance for our own glory. Or to test your loyalties, Una."

    "Call me a traitor again, Yana, and I'll drag you down to the sea naked."

    Lanaq interrupted before there could be another retort. "Battle's not over until it's over. Simmer down, young brothers."

    Azula could see the Water Tribe fleet amassing behind the Great Gate. Long ships, hewn from fine timber and clad in burnished copper, with ranks of stout oars jutting from the sides. Catapults littered the deck, manned by teeming masses of blue armored warriors. Even from up here, she could see the consummate perfection of their drill, the perfect clockwork synchronicity of men at war.

    The waters surged as the gates opened, and the Water Tribe fleet filed out. They moved swiftly towards the Fire Navy battle line, still holding perfect drill. The Fire Navy ironclads steamed their circuit, slowly shifting their fire to the advancing column. The first barrage of incendiaries and fire lances splashed ahead of the lead longship. When the next salvo came, a great tidal wave rose at the longship's bow, the barrage disappearing in puffs of steam against it. The wave accelerated, overturning one ironclad cruiser as it smashed through the Fire Navy fleet.

    Yana whooped and cheered. The other young lodge brothers joined him. Katara glanced at Azula, sharing her uncertainty. Something was off, Azula could feel it. It was too good to be true. What Admiral would be so daft to fight a night action in the frozen north?

    The fleets clashed together, like a battering ram into a castle wall. The steamships maneuvered to avoid the rams, but under the full moon the Water Tribe ships were at their swiftest, faster and more nimble than the ironclads.

    Over the coming minutes, the long Fire Navy line-of-battle bowed outward in the center. The half-moon bay turned into a circle, ringed on the outside by a thinning circuit of Fire Navy ships. The Water Tribe ships circled in the center like whirlpools ringed with blades of ice. At this moment of triumph, Azula realized where it all went wrong.

    Whether it was premonition or extra-sensory perception, she couldn't say. It hurt her in alternating waves of boiling fire and freezing ice. She fell to her knees, heart pounding. A scream filled the space between her ears. Then fear, older than the mountains, a nameless dread. The color drained from the horizon, as the world plunged into midnight.

    The cheers stopped. The men glanced around, unmoored in the sepia-toned night. "Where's the moon?" they chattered, "What sorcery is this?"

    The only splotches of color came from the few fires still burning in the city, and the battle in the bay. Something burning touched Azula's shoulder–the feeling passed, and she realized it was Katara's hand. "I feel it too," she said, "What's going on?"

    "They did it. They finally, really did it." Azula snarled, biting back the venom. The glacier groaned and cracked beneath them. Echoes of distant thunder followed, crunching ice no longer supported by the tide.

    The fear rose in Katara. "What did they do?"

    Azula stumbled to her feet, head still swimming with vertigo. "Folly. Madness. Sacrilege. A crime against civilization."

    "You're not making sense, Una," said Lanaq. "What sort of trick is the Fire Nation playing?"

    The waters in the distant bay went dreadfully still. The proud ships of the Water Tribe slowed to a crawl. The fire continued to rain down on them, no shields ice rose in their defense. Pinched between the two wings of the Fire Navy fleet, now maneuvering only with oars, calamity descended. The longships began colliding with one another as order collapsed. Ships turned to rout, shearing their brother's oars off in flight.

    Their flight was intercepted by the faster Fire Navy ironclads, the wings turning in to close off retreat. But the envelopment was purely notional; the once orderly squadrons of the Water Tribe rammed and jostled into one another, fires spreading across their decks.

    "The Spirit Sanctuary; what's in it?" cried Azula.

    The captain shook his head. "I am forbidden to tell anyone who hasn't completed initiation."

    Lanaq set a hand on his shoulder. "The Sanctuary holds the vessels of the Great Spirits Tui and La. Their union is the source of all Waterbending." Lanaq looked up at the empty sky. He opened his mouth but no words came.

    A few of the benders in their party tried. No matter how they wailed or cursed, the snows would not move. "It's over!" cried one. Another tore at his hair, weeping bitter tears. The old captain dropped his pack and fell to the ground.

    "Stop your whinging!" shouted Azula. "Are you warriors or are you children?"

    Katara's legs shook, but she stood resolute at Azula's side. "There's a battle down there. We are needed. You can cry later."

    One of the young men said, "How can we? Our Covenant is broken. We've failed. How can we face the Ashmakers without the Gift?"

    "You sound like you've already given up," said Azula, unsheathing her machete. "Your sisters, your mothers, your children: they're down there and they need you now more than ever."

    "I agree, but have some grace with the boys," said Lanaq.

    "What hope do we have?" asked Yutu.

    Azula was already marching to the trailhead. "Then we'll live without hope. There's always vengeance."

    Katara chided the men as she followed after. "What? Are you really going to let some girls do the job of men?"

    "You'll die!" shouted Yutu.

    "We've all got to someday," was all Azula answered.

    Some of the men followed after. Perhaps more stragglers would join. At any rate, Katara soon caught up with Azula's stride, grabbing the princess's hand. "Don't take this the wrong way," said Katara, "But you're more intense than usual."

    Azula tutted. For once in her life, her silver tongue had escaped her. The meaning of her actions, what she'd felt when the Moon died, had all gone beyond human reason. She knew what she had to do, deep in her bones. She didn't know why. Perhaps this was what faith was. "I felt a part of me die. When Tui died, I–I heard her screams. All I know is that whoever did this cannot be allowed to live."

    Perhaps this was how the story of Azula, the traitor princess, would end. For the first time, she felt her mortality. A falling star in the pitch-black night, charging into a hopeless battle. How terrified Katara must be, jogging beside her, hand-in-hand. "I want to apologize, Katara."

    "For what?"

    "For dragging you along in what most would call a suicide mission. Without-without your bending."

    "If there really is no hope for us, then there's nothing left to be afraid of. What was it you said about my mother? That she didn't think her sacrifice was a vain or empty gesture?"

    "More or less."

    "I think part of finding something to live for is finding what's worth dying for."

    "I suppose."

    "Damn girl, you are thick sometimes."

    "Hey!"

    "Azula, I'm trying to tell you that I love you, work with me here."

    "Oh. I love you too."

    "That's better. Wish I could've said it under better circumstances. If only we had more time."

    "We're not finished yet."

    "That's the Azula I know."


    Sokka had spied the company of Imperial Firebenders encamped around the Spirit Sanctuary just in time to watch the color drain from the world. Yue cried out and fell onto the ice. Her cries had alerted the enemy picket. Fire washed over the ice they huddled behind. Steam sizzled as Suki cradled Yue's unconscious body.

    Men barked orders. No doubt they'd soon swing around and finish them. More bolts of fire blasted overhead. Suki slapped Yue's cheek. "Yue, speak to me. Speak to me."

    "They slipped in just like we slipped out. Damn it, if only we'd stayed, we might have," said Sokka.

    "Save it. We can't stay here, this ice won't last forever against their firepower."

    Sokka peered out between blasts. He saw men huddling up by the mouth of the sanctuary. "If they don't enfilade us first." He pulled his boomerang from his belt. "Okay, don't fail me now. Suki, get ready to run."

    "Gotcha."

    Sokka counted the seconds, ducking under fire blasts, waiting for the enemy to make their move. Arm coiled like a spring, he waited, until at last one of the firebenders blew his horn, and three men emerged from their palisades. He flung the boomerang with all his might. "Now!"

    Fire bolts shot after them, but none noticed the boomerang arcing its way to destiny. It clanged off an officer's helmet, knocking him over into his men, each spooling up a fire bolt. Shouting followed after, then a deafening boom. Bits of armor and ice sailed overhead.

    "Hah!" shouted Sokka, "Next time be more careful with your blasting jelly!"

    They ran and ran, Sokka holding up the rear by chucking ice chunks, rocks, and even his broke sword at their few pursuers, until they at last made it to the relative safety of the palace grounds and few bewildered guards left to hold the rear gate.

    Bent over on his knees panting, Sokka laughed out loud. "Haha, you should've seen the look on their faces, Suki."

    Suki was pale as a ghost, stumbling forward as she held Yue in princess carry. "Sokka…catch her before I drop her."

    He caught them both as they fell. His hand fell on a wet patch on Suki's back, still hot to the touch. She screamed in agony. He pulled his hand away to find it red with blood. Flecks of charred cloth and skin had clung to his hand.

    The world narrowed, everything but Suki fading to black. His ears rang, the world muffled like his head was under water. He could only cradle her head in his arms. Someone called his name, but he could barely hear it through the ringing.

    "Sokka!" He turned to find Yue conscious again. She held a torn strip of her dress. "Sokka, let me."

    He could only watch as Yue cleaned and dressed Suki's wound. The princess had Suki chew roots as she applied a poultice from her pouch to the burn. She wrapped the wound with a long bolt from her dress.

    "We have to get her inside where it's war. You'll have to carry her for me. Sokka! Stay with me. I am counting on you. Can you do it."

    Trembling, ready to hurl at any moment, Sokka nodded.

    "She's going to be alright. Even without…without the Gift."


    Fire Nation troops had already landed in force by the time Azula made it to the mustering point. Amidst the gray morning twilight, their battalions were assembling in the docklands. Azula could only spare a moment to watch the ships disgorging great machines of war that belched black smoke and spat steam. Without Waterbending to fight, the battlements of the first wall were ordered abandoned under the withering firepower of the enemy.

    The first wall itself had been assembled just in time for the lunar…eclipse. Azula did not want to think about what had been done. It was so far beyond the pale. Who would dare to kill a god? What arrogance, what vanity? The tides rose and retreated on the shores of the Fire Nation too.

    Who would dare? Only one name came to mind. She laughed bitterly. Zhao, ever the ambitious social-climbing parasite, would be the exact sort of man to burn the world just to rule the ashes.

    "What's so funny?" Katara asked, following Azula down another winding staircase.

    "I was just thinking, the man who would have been bold enough to do this was probably the same man in charge of my attempted assassination."

    "If he is, he's collecting affronts to the gods like most men collect sea shells."

    "He won't be escaping Saṃsāra if I have anything to say about it."

    The war machines were chugging a low metallic beat now, like drums. Water Tribe soldiers amassed behind the wall, trembling with fear. Azula and Katara attempted to join the ranks, only to be pulled aside by a runner. The young man, tall and aristocratic, was just old enough to grow peach fuzz. He said, "Avatar. Tarqan Nunuk said to bring you straight to him."

    Azula turned to Katara. "Is that a general's rank? I'm afraid my education on the North is somewhat out of date."

    "Yeah," said Katara, matching the herald's brisk strides. "Like a major general, in command of a host of multiple clans. His loyalty is to the High Chief, not to any of the clans."

    The cataclysm had denuded the Water Tribe of most of their artillery. A few mechanical trebuchets and other catapults continued to hurl ice boulders over the wall, but their weight paled compared to the burning missiles from the Fire Navy. They'd been forced to dodge several en route to headquarters.

    The Tarqan was a man in his fifties, well seasoned, with a prominent dueling scar on his cheek. His tripped sash indicated he was a nonbender. If the weight of the present circumstances affected him, he did not let on. "Avatar," he said coolly, "I admit I am surprised you returned."

    His staff glared at Azula with unconcealed hostility. She replied, "Despise me all you like, we're in the same boat."

    "Your presence has brought nothing but calamity. Another ill-omen following the starcrossed princess. Perhaps if I hand you over, they will accept my terms."

    "Tell me, Tarqan, were the circumstances reversed; and you were besieging the Caldera under a sunless sky, the gift of fire drowned by your stratagems, would you accept my father's offer of a white peace?"

    Though the Tarqan said nothing, Azula could see that the temptation remained nonetheless.

    "As I thought. You hear that rumbling, like war drums? Those are war drills. They're boring through your wall. Once they breach, soldiers will come straight through, protected by an inch of cold-rolled steel."

    Another runner arrived, handing a scroll to the Tarqan. Browsing it, he said, "And what would the Fire Nation traitor's expert advice be?"

    Ignoring his pique, Azula said, "Attack. You've already lost the top of the walls. You need to retake them before they can use it to enfilade your troops."

    "I will be sure to note that." The Tarqan turned to his aide-de-camp. "Our chief has ordered us back to the third level. The second level was not fully erected, and he wishes to avoid another encirclement. Like the one the supposed Avatar would have us walk into." He snapped his fingers, and four sergeants came forth, pulling ropes from their belts. "Truly sorry about this, princess."

    "No, you're not."

    "I will hear no more from the provocateur. So good of you to come to me though."

    Bound, gagged and chained together, Azula was carried back up the terraced city. When matters turned sufficiently dire, her captors summarily dropped her on the edge of a terrace, and ran for cover. She could only watch and seethe as the ill-fated attempt to avoid another encirclement turned into a rout.

    The leadership of the North had grown arthritic with the war frozen in place. Eighty years of phony war had sapped them of strength. Generals grew accustomed to easy peacetime obedience.

    Struggling with her bindings, Azula mused. Who knows, reroll the dice and it might have worked. But with morale already shattered, and further pummeled by another retreat in the face of the enemy, the poisonous brew of dread reached full froth. When the Fire Nation advanced faster than anticipated, striking at the heels of the retreating soldiers, the untested men damned to rear guard actions broke and ran, crashing into the retreating columns. Choke points were jammed by the ensuing human crush, while veteran Fire Nation soldiers set upon them like ravening wolves.

    A familiar voice pierced the din of battle. "Azula! Katara!" cried Yue, "I've found you! Oh, La's blessings."

    It was rather difficult to thank Yue with a dirty rag in her mouth, but Azula supposed she knew what the muffled babble meant. After pulling the gag out, Yue kissed her forehead.

    "Tui. They-they've–" stammered Yue.

    "I know. I know." As soon as the bindings came loose, Azula scooped Yue into a hug. "We're not finished yet. I swear to you."

    Yue's white hair held its ethereal glow. Her skin and clothing were the only blot of color in the desaturated world. The halo of tears in her eyes had put runs in her kohl. Something unspoken waited on Yue's trembling lips.

    Katara noticed too as she sloughed off the ropes. Azula knew. She knew what was to come next. What was given had to be returned.

    "Yue, don't even think about it," said Katara.

    "I have to. But I can't do it alone."

    "There must be another way."

    "If there is," Azula whispered, "I'll find it. But we can't afford to tarry any longer."

    Yue clutched her necklace. "Father–he's led his personal guard down to the third ring!"


    Arnook gripped his ivory pommeled sword tighter. Yue was missing. His capital besieged. His armies routed. The Lifegiving Moon slain. The weight of his failure crushed down on his shoulders. A failure as a father, a leader, and a general.

    His men still followed, chanting their funeral dirges in the old tongue. He'd expected to hear this song while laying in his canoe, many years from now. So he shouted the song until he was hoarse, to let his ancestors know he was coming, that they would make a feast for him and his host in the Tranquil Deep, to welcome Arnook, son of Nanuk, one last time.

    It was nearly impossible to tell friend from foe in the twilight charnel. Only the terrible fires of the Ashmakers brought color to this dying land. He clapped his sword against his shield and charged into the melee.

    "To the chief!" shouted one of the bannermen, "Rally to the chief!"

    Arnook had never been a great fighter. As a young man, he'd been painfully average, making up for his shortcomings with patience and temperance. He'd cultivated other talents as heir-presumptive, and thus his succession faced no serious challenge in the Kurultai.

    But tonight, as he hacked and slashed his way through the Imperial Firebenders at the vanguard, dodging sword and fire by inches, he wondered if his guiding spirit had been saving all his strength, all the fight in him, for this one day when it would matter most.

    Another brave young man met his end trying to claim Arnook's head. The boy bled out, gurgling bloody spittle, while his fae-touched and fire spitting brothers trampled over his body to take their turn. Arnook rained a blow down on a sergeant's helm, rippling pain up his arm, crushing the steel in a wet thud.

    He continued like this, back-to-back with old friends and bitter rivals, armor and parka running red with drawn blood. Until an arrow pierced his mail, knocking the breath from his lungs. Stunned, his guard slipped, allowing a sword to stick into his belly.

    The Fire Army soldier grinned, flashing his crooked yellow teeth. Arnook snarled, finding grip on the blood-slick snow, and pushed himself closer to his killer. With a mighty howl, he brought his sword crashing down on the man's temple. The blade bit deep into his skull, lodging itself forever there. One last rage against the dying light and the strength left Arnook's legs. He fell into a heap, sword still stuck in him.

    He coughed, trying to stand. But now his journey was at its end. How could any man resist such savagery? The Fire Nation wielded such consummate hatred, such single-minded zeal, that they made war on the heavens themselves. What next? Would they dry up the oceans and consume the land in fire, just to claim the ashes? So lamented Arnook, son of Nanuk, last of his line, king of the lost, lord of the ruins of Agna Qel'a, devotee of a dead god.

    The battlelines shattered even as his companions surged to protect his body from desecration. His chancellor Onalik interposed his shield between a firebolt and Arnook. "Protect the chief!" shouted Onalik. As the battle lines continued to melt against the onslaught, he muttered, "For pity's sake, can no one hear my prayers? Is there nothing left to protect our people?"

    Arnook's eyes grew heavy. The Lifegiving Moon was gone, and it seemed there was no power left in all the world with the strength to aid their dying cause. They had been the last line between the enemy and the civilians sheltering in the citadel. The war machines of the Fire Nation advanced on their clacking treads, invincible against all their weapons. Like a body drawing breath, the enemy ranks paused, summoning their strength for a concentrated attack. Their attacks combined into a tidal wave of burning death, surging towards him.

    A blue wave rose to meet the red, and for an instant Arnook wondered if the Gift of Waterbending had been returned. But it was not blue water that sent the enemy's flames crashing back on their own lines. An azure jet roared after, brighter than the midday sun. More jets soared past, til a figure leapt over him. There was no mistaking Azula's immaculate topknot.

    She fought fire with fire. Even the enemy's flames danced at her beck and call, flowing around her like water, turning from crimson to blue-white before being returned tenfold. Murmurs of "traitor" and "witch" came from the Fire Nation ranks, the impotent whinging of outmatched men helpless against a force of nature. Like the morning star, Azula heralded the end of the long night.

    Spears of jagged rock broke through the snow, goring several men. Thunder rippled across Azula's mail armor. She shouted, "One of you has committed a great sacrilege." Lightning cracked the twilight, leaving a trail of smoking bodies stretching from her outstretched fingers. "All who stand with him will pay with their lives!"

    The soldiers howled and hissed their vain curses. But no one could touch her. Her asura grin snuffed out the fire in them. "Scared?" she said with an aristocratic laugh, "There wasn't a man among you that could have stood against me even before I awakened the power of the Avatar."

    The Ashmakers did not break so easily. But even with his eyes blurred by sweat and blood, Arnook could see the chill of the graving shaking their bones and rattling their teeth. Azula was an unfettered weapon. The men who opposed her had their lives cut short. She moved like the waters, flowing around the enemy before crashing down upon them in a typhoon of fire and rock. Katara joined her in battle, the moon to her sun, and soon the Water Tribe soldiers rallied to them. Their cinder, their morning star, turned back the enemy.

    Soft hands lifted his heavy head. "Father," said Yue, tears streaming. She showed strength he never imagined in her, as she gritted her teeth and lifted him from under his arms. Over the fallen, Yue dragged Arnook, High Chief of the Water Tribe, to safety.


    This is the second to the last chapter of Book One. In about a week or two, I will be uploading the final chapter, followed shortly after by the Epilogue to Book One. It's been quite a journey getting here, and I'd like to thank everyone who chipped in by commenting, or who even just read and left their kudos. This is the first long fic that I've completed in a very long time, most of them have run out of steam somewhere because they were character pieces without a defined ending, or because in the long course of writing them, I'd changed so much that the story I wanted to tell now was incompatible with the story I'd written.

    This won't be the end of Cinder. But it's going to be a while before you see a Book Two. I need to recharge and refine my outline, because even as meticulously as I've plotted out the whole story, things have changed in the writing. But once again, thank you all for coming on this journey with me.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Been enjoyed the story so far, with a mature cast that its core doesn't strain far from the Avatar world.

    When Aang said that "we've all been condemned to freedom" I thought that it meant the Avatar cycle was over, but no it's just the (ever useless) Spirits decided to increase their uselessness somehow.

    For the better I wager, as such nothing would prevent Azula from going into the avatar state and Hulk Smash the FN leadership to end the war.

    I actually expected Arnook to die, or at very least it would make Water tribe politics interesting after the war. Especially considering the negligence and callousness with which the Southern tribe has been treated so far.

    What exactly made Ozai decide that Zuko was "lucky to be born", considering Azula still has all her skills?
     
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    This story is fantastic. It perfectly balances the grimness of a realistically depicted war, Azula's very personal trauma, and the horrors of Imperialism and conquest with the hopeful, adventurous tone and characterization that makes it clear that it's still an Avatar story. The Gang is allowed to be make dumb jokes and have genuine friendships and genuine comradery, just like their canon counterparts did, even though they're legitimately depicted as effectively child soldiers who've had to legitimately kill people in this version. It's allowed to have moment of pathos that aren't just things being grim and dark...but it doesn't shy away from showing the true cost of war and the Avatar's duty.

    I personally prefer darker stories as whole, but there's very few of them that manage that balance of tone, the contrast of dark and light that this one does.

    On a second note, the depiction of culture is amazing. Avatar proper is already pretty cool for depicting an East Asian inspired fantasy setting that isn't just stereotypes and kung fu movie cliches, but this fic takes it to another level. The depiction of different culture's food ways for example, or the nuanced take on the Northern Water tribe's gender roles and how the Avatar fits into it, or the total mobilization of Fire Nation society towards the war, or the depiction of Fire Nation military culture and it's class divides.

    On the note of Military Culture, I love military fantasy, and this story has been a fantastic exemplar of that subgenre. It's primarily been a character driven work of course, but the first chapter set in a Fire Nation regiment at war was fantastic, as was the depiction of the chaos, the glory, and the tragedy of battle-even from (and especially from) the perspective of someone with a warped sense of morality like pre character development Azula. The other battles scattered throughout have all been great as well, well written, riveting action, but without forgetting the horror and tragedy that every battle carries.

    Very much looking forward to the rest of Book 1.
     
    15. Apotheosis
  • Threadmarks
    • Apotheosis

    The Siege of the North Was a horrific battle. One of the largest and bloodiest the world has ever seen. Dry your eyes, young prince, and learn from Yue's example. Do not seek to do great things, instead do something with great love. ​


    The citadel held. For now. As Azula wiped the sweat-caked soot from her forehead, she turned to count the terrible price of their defense. Healers tended to the wounded as best they could, the stench of scorched flesh rising with the screams of the dying. A trail of blood on the ice caught Azula's eye.

    It led to Chief Arnook stumbling towards his throne. He hobbled step-by-step, leaning on his spear, til he tumbled at the foot of the dais. Yue followed after him, pleading for him to rest. His companions rushed to him, swords and boomerangs clattering in their wake. Azula too rushed over, though she knew not what she could even do for him. She could make wounds, not heal them.

    Yue had remained at his side, heedless of the danger. But none of these proud warriors had the strength to keep a grieving daughter from her father's side. Her shrieks rent the air like the surgeon's knife, and the warriors pulled away. A graven chill ran down Azula's back.

    Try as she might, Yue was powerless to save her father's life. The sword had plunged deep, and every ragged cough brought bloody froth to Arnook's lips. Yue babbled her indecipherable apologies and prayers. With a mournful smile, Arnook put an unsteady hand on her cheek and told her it would be alright.

    Liar, Azula accused.

    Or maybe it's his way of saying I don't blame you, said another, kinder voice in Azula's head.

    "Azula," Arnook coughed, "I have one last order for you as your chief."

    Azula snapped to attention like second nature, then rushed over. As she knelt by Arnook, his lips were turning blue. "My chief," said Azula.

    "I want you to take my children and get them as far away from Agna Qel'a as you can."

    "Shh…be still."

    "No…this was never your fight, I should have never dragged you into it." Arnook took Azula's hand in his. "I've failed my people, Avatar. The city is lost! I hid behind our walls thinking the Deluge couldn't come to us, played politics with the world's best hope, and now I have paid the price. Please, don't let Yue and Tulok pay for my mistakes."

    Despair was an infectious thing, and Arnook's words sent a chill across the gathered warriors, plunging the hall into stunned silence. It had been in the back of every warrior's minds. The Fire Nation had brought such terrible firepower to bear, like nothing they'd ever seen before, far worse than the nightmarish tales spoken by their grandfathers from the start of the war. Their airships rained fire and ash with impunity, the city was besieged, encircled from the oceans the Water Tribe could no longer control, up to the top of the glacier wall. And the final defense line had been breached, the palace citadel actively contested.

    All their eyes were on Azula now. The woman they hated, the daughter of the enemy slipping into the bed of the chief's daughter, the fox pretending to be a wolf. She felt their stares boring into her, begging for help, knowing it could not come. If La had abandoned them, then all was lost.

    "None fought with more courage than you, my Chief. You did what you thought was best for your people."

    "And it brought us here! It is over. For a hundred generations my forefathers watched over the Water Tribe, and now it all ends on my watch. I have failed my people."

    Azula gripped his hand with white knuckles. "I do not know what strength I have, my chief, but I swear to you that I will not let Agna Qel'a fall. Or our people perish. I am with you to whatever end."

    "Our people?"

    "Our people."

    Arnook's eyes lit up like the moon on a cloudless night. Yue looked up at her, eyes streaked with tears. Dozens more fixed on her. She felt it all, despair and hope balanced on the edge of a knife.

    Arnook's eye's fluttered, as his bow-string taught body relaxed. "I would have been proud to call you my daughter, Azula. I wish I could have realized it sooner." Arnook's body went limp, the last death rattle came, and he was no more.

    Azula rested Arnook's hand on his chest. She pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling the weight bearing down on her narrow shoulders, heavier than the chainmail she wore. But there would be time enough to mourn later, to comfort Yue in her grief. She rose to address the warriors assembled in the great hall, the chief's blood still warm on her hands.

    "Now what?" said a young warrior.

    Murmurs of umbrage followed. Yue snapped from grief to anger in an instant. "Yutu, you dare?"

    It finally clicked to Azula who this Yutu was. One of Hahn's closest friends, the sneering voice whenever she was made to attend Wolf Lodge functions. His warpaint was caked with blood now, weapons still stained in it.

    Azula supposed the question was fair, after all. She had promised a miracle, and now she'd have to deliver. She'd been puzzling away at the tactical situation for some time, always in the back of her mind whenever there was a moment. One idea in particular had stuck with her, but it had been too ghastly to speak out loud. Until now, with their backs against the wall.

    "We do what we must. Every able-bodied person, brother or sister, able to hold a spear will be reformed into battalions. Get them to the battlements, ready to counterattack."

    Arnook's chancellor waited only a moment, testing the waters. "You heard the Avatar. Tarqans, reform your hosts. Get anyone able to hold a weapon ready to fight for their lives."

    "They've already occupied most of the city," said Yutu. "They've occupied the Spirit Oasis and control the causeway leading to it. So many of our brothers have already fallen? What hope have we of managing a break out?"

    "Lucky for you, Lodge-brother, that I already have a plan in mind. The Fire Nation holds the east glacier wall, including the reservoir. Its retaining wall is many yards thick of solid ice, all tall as the citadel."

    "Of course I know of it," said Yutu, crossing his arms. "You're the foreigner, not me."

    "A commando team can accomplish what a battalion could not: sneak through the catacombs and collapse the retaining wall with blasting jelly. I'll need eight volunteers"

    "That's a suicide mission!"

    Azula bit her tongue, ignoring the insult to her intelligence. "Yes. But we need time. At any price. Time for soldiers from the nearby cities and fortresses to arrive. Time to regroup, to continue to bleed them. Once the wall falls and we've weakened them, our forces will counter attack." She pointed south-by-southeast, "along Fireweed Canal, cleave the enemy apart and defeat them in detail."

    "You're asking men to die trapped under cold water and ice. Why should any of us go?"

    "You'll go because it must be done. You heard your chief, do you want a hundred generations of our people's history to end on your watch? To see your temples torn down, your homes burned away? To watch our people be herded into camps, children torn from their mothers, so that they may be beaten body and soul until they forget their birth name and their mother tongue?"

    Azula bit down on her temper, rubbing her forehead. The hall was silent now. "I'm sorry, but that's how it is. I've seen this play out before, and you have no way of knowing what's coming. But I do."

    Yutu was sufficiently cowed now that he just listened earnestly. He had been brave before, both on the hunt as well as in the battle, but like all the other men in the hall he'd been pushed to the limits of his courage. It was a fight forced on him, and no doubt his fundamental decency expected his conquerors to show mercy in victory. Azula would have done it herself and spared the trouble of all this. But she was the Avatar now, and already on one suicide mission.

    Azula stepped up onto the dais, and stood at the right hand of the chief's throne. "Brothers," she cried, "do you live for the good of the tribe?"

    They said in one chorus, "there is no other way."

    "Then for the good of the tribe, who will pull the dam down on top of you and the Fire Nation invaders?"

    Katara stepped forward. "I will."

    It stuck in Azula's heart like an icicle. She stumbled a half step back. But she held onto dignity for dear life. It was too late to back down. She had assumed command of these proud warriors, reduced to a rabble ready to surrender. If the Avatar asked for a suicide mission, then who else could be expected to lead it but her closest confidant?

    "I will lead the attack," Katara called out. "If the Avatar says it must be done, then it must be done."

    Another man stepped forward. "My life for the tribe," he said, pulling back his hood to reveal ragged claw scars on his face that left him one eyed. "I am Yenisey of the Orca Lodge. When the Avatar calls, I answer."

    More stepped forward. Nanuq of the Polar Bear Lodge. Ornlu of the Wolf Lodge. Tigin, aspirant of the Snow Leopard Lodge. Ujurak, Captain of the Palace Guard. Dené of the city watch. And Yutu of the Wolf Lodge. Azula studied their faces and names

    Dying inside, Azula remained stoic. "Even when the world ends and all is washed away, your deed will be immortal," she said, trying to force herself to believe it.

    There was a plan. However awful it was, it had imposed a sort of order on the defenders of Agna Qel'a. The tarqans followed her instructions now without question. Arnook had placed his faith in her, and she'd already pulled one miracle. Truly the last hope, turned to with the greatest reluctance.

    When she'd finished making plans and distributing orders, Azula slipped away from the generals to find Katara. The girl from the South, a stranger in this land, was now laying her life down for it, dutifully loading sleds with blasting jelly for her own funeral pyre.

    "Katara, can I speak to you?" Azula's voice was barely above a whisper.

    "Not now, I have to prepare, review the maps–"

    Azula spun her around. "There will be time for that, just talk to me!"

    Katara's hand trembled on the sleigh. She would not look Azula in the eye.

    "I don't understand…why?"

    Katara shrugged. "What, do you think you have a monopoly on suicidal bravery?"

    "Then let me go with you–"

    "Save it. You are the one person we cannot afford to lose."

    "I don't want you to go."

    "That's why I must. Was your military judgment wrong?"

    "No," Azula said gravely. "No, we need the time. Time to push them back, to cut off the forces blocking the way to the Spirit Sanctuary."

    "Then that settles it."

    "No it doesn't–"

    "Shut up and listen for once!" Red-faced with anger, Katara grabbed Azula by the nape of her neck, knocking their foreheads together. "This is my last gift to you, my friend."

    "It doesn't have to be that way," muttered Azula.

    "They won't follow you unless you sacrifice something precious. You've already lost everything once. The only thing you have left to give is your bonds." Katara shrugged. "I'm just a lowly girl from the South. But right now, I can make a difference. We both gave our oaths to each other, to see this through to the bitter end, to give every last drop of blood for the future. I am obeying the call of my heart. Don't deny me this."

    Azula fell silent, pressing her palm into the small of Katara's back. "I can't lose you both."

    "Then take this piece of me with you. Katara pressed a bead and shell necklace into Azula's hand. "It belonged to my mother before me, and to Kanna before that. All our hopes go with you."

    Azula kissed Katara's cheeks, then her lips. They lingered until their lungs burned. As they parted, a thin line of spittle drew out then broke.

    Katara fought back the tears. "You have the hardest job of us. You have to live, to keep moving forward. Yue and I, we'll watch over you."

    "I love you more than life itself. If only, if only we had more time."

    "Go. Be our Avatar."


    Katara watched the men arrayed in their ranks, teeth chattering in the cold. Azula strutted in front of them. The princess's natural charisma inspired even from afar. The men who had been on the verge of forsaking their oaths and casting away all the bonds of the tribe would stand with their shields locked together.

    It was like a hot knife in Katara's chest. She turned and stumbled away, unable to bear watching any longer. She could not bear to leave Azula. But she could not stay. If Azula could hold her head high and do her duty, then so must Katara.

    Katara met the other princess who'd so ensnared her heart on the way back to her commando team. Yue's eyes fell on the dried blood on Katara's hands, and thus Katara was transfixed. The pregnant silence drew on until finally Yue said, "Is there no other way?"

    Katara's voice came out small, like a child's, despite herself: "My word is all I have. I will not go back on it."

    "There must be some other way. How could any man let a girl go in their place? It's awful, shameful–"

    Katara pressed her hands to Yue's cheeks. The princess stood still, silent tears in her eyes. "Yue, please. It's my life to give. This is our darkest hour. With our sacred bond to the Moon broken, and the terrible losses we've taken, our people are ready to go quietly into the night. We have to resist, strike back at them, do anything to level the odds, to give us time to accomplish a miracle."

    Yue's blue eyes bored into Katara, but the princess said nothing.

    "You'll have to look after Azula for me. I'm sorry we didn't get to see how the three of us would work out."

    Yue trembled. "That's the one thing I can't do." She looked up at the empty black sky.

    "You can't…"

    Yue forced a smile. "What was it you said? 'It's my life to give.' Whatever they gave me, I have to give it back." Yue brushed the tears from Katara's eyes. "I really am a hypocrite, huh? Come to dissuade you from doing exactly what I planned to do." She laughed, leaving the freezing tears behind.

    Katara laughed uneasily. "We're awful, leaving Azula the hardest job."

    Yue set her hands on Katara's shoulders. "I will sing for you, Katara, daughter of Hakoda. I will howl like the wolves at the end of days, to let them know that one of Amarok's own is coming, to set their halls to welcome her and dare not to bar her way."

    Their kiss was chaste, lest anyone think something untoward about them. Katara turned abruptly and grabbed the yoke from her sled. She dared not turn around, even for one moment, lest she lose the strength to do what she knew in her bones needed to be done. Men twice her age watched her pass, gimlet eyes of the men she would lead into the jaws of death. "Let's go," said Katara.

    They fell in behind her. Eight soldiers and four sleds of blasting jelly. The oldest, Ornlu, chuckled. "Thank the Spirits, no sodding speech."

    "I thought Azula covered that well enough. If the enemy has found the tunnels, we'll split into two groups. One to fight them off and cover the rear, the other to continue on."

    She heard the grunts of affirmation. Yana took the yoke from her, nodding. Katara's hands trembled as she stepped to the fount. She clenched her fists repeatedly, and still they trembled. Only once she occupied her hand with the reassuring weight of a jian sword did the shaking stop.

    Eyes strained in the dark; the whale oil lantern barely held back the shadows. The dread clung to Katara, sticky like the tongue in her mouth, long run dry. She shoved the fear away, trying to focus her rage and righteous hatred towards the invader. But it did not help.

    Even upon catching the first Fire Navy sentry by surprise, running him through and twisting the blade so his hot blood would freeze on the ice, the anger would not come. Even the fires of hate for the Fire Nation had gone out in this freezing night.

    Snarling, sweat beading on her forehead, Katara tore into the enemy ranks. She dug deep for something, anything to fuel her. But her sword work remained dull and mechanical. The enemy lay strewn out in the paths around the reservoir, and all that Katara could feel was a profound pity for them.

    The ice above their tunnel heaved and crackled. Even without her Waterbending, Katara felt the ebb of flow of the reservoir as it sloshed and settled from the sudden death of the tides. "We're here," she said, "Get the fuzes laid."

    The soldiers obeyed without hesitation. It weighed heavily on Katara as she began packing the blasting jelly capsules into the holes that Yutu augured into the tunnel wall. His hands trembled. After the seventh charge, he slipped and cried out. His bones rattled as he tried to pick up the tool, fumbling it again. "I…I don't want to die. I'm not ready. Spirits, why did I–"

    Katara placed a hand on his shoulder. "We're not done for yet. And even if we do die, remember the people we are doing this for."

    She thought of Sokka, imagining his grief but also his pride. She thought of her father, wondering if he'd ever forgive himself for outliving his daughter. But she also felt her heart overflow with warmth. The cold no longer bit at her steadied hands as she packed the next charge in.

    Her thoughts turned to Azula, and Katara was struck with how much the princess had grown in the months since their paths crossed; watching her transform from the seething Ashmaker princess looking down her nose at the world into someone worthy of the title 'Avatar.' Katara was not superstitious, but nonetheless she felt the ghost wind of fate in all this.

    Azula had confessed to her one troubled night around the campfire that she feared her whole existence was a mistake: that it should have been Aang, not her, who Katara pulled from the arctic waters. Perhaps she was right. But perhaps also it was Katara's fate to love and nurture that little cinder of good in her during their short time together.

    But more than the mere transition from villain to hero, Katara cherished all the days spent peeling away Azula's armor to find the girl beneath it. The girl who wanted more than anything to be loved, and yet convinced that there was something so vile and obscene in her soul that she was totally unworthy of its grace.

    So no matter the odds, no matter the trials, Katara swore that she would not let their story end here. She would find a way.

    Katara packed the last of her charges, tapping her work partner on the shoulder. "Help Nanuq get the fuzes cut."

    Yutu jolted at Katara's touch, but nodded. Katara watched him go before finding her way to Ornlu, who'd just finished the other bank of the charges. Kneeling beside him, she said, "So far, so good."

    Ornlu grunted. "Yeah. They say my cousin Jaga said the same thing when he fell off the glacier wall. Heard him saying it all the way down." When Katara chuckled, he ran a hand through his gray hair and laughed.

    Katara cycled between the teams, giving words of encouragement as they finished their charges. When she cycled back to where Ornlu was gathering up and braiding the fuzes together, a garbled shout echoed down the tunnel. "Finish up here," said Katara.

    She drew her sword and rushed forward. Heart pounding in her ears, Katara crossed the threshold into the glacier wall antechamber. Two men in the crowned helmets of the Imperial Firebender corps loomed over a wounded Water Tribe warrior, who cowered under his scorched and smoldering parka.

    Katara charged, pure instinct spurring her forward. Rolling under their attacks, she closed the gap, thrusting her shoulder into one's belly. Her blade arced, digging into the other's bracers with a satisfying crunch. Snarling, she wrenched the blade free, trailing hot, red blood. Taking it half-sword, she wheeled the pommel into the man's face, knocking loose his helm.

    Shifting back to the handle, she swung with all her might, smashing through the mail curtain to end him. "Light the fuzes," cried Katara, twisting out of the deadly path of a fire bolt. The second Imperial, winded by her body check, kept her at bay with what fire he could summon. Ducking under the fire jabs, Katara grabbed her fallen comrade by the parka and dragged him away. Pounding thumps of armored runners neared.

    After dropping off the badly injured Tigin, Katara rushed to their ingress point, only to find the torches and shouting voices of Fire Nation soldiers, coming down the tunnel.

    Trapped. She returned to find her comrades already skirmishing with the advance elements of the enemy. Ornlu spied her out of the corner of her eye once he'd finished tacking a soldier to the ice with a spear. "Is there no way out?" he shouted.

    "We'll have to fight our way out. Light the fuzes."

    "Gods above, we're going to die," said Dené.

    "Quit your yapping," said Ornlu.

    At the edge of despair, still they fought on. Yenisey sang the song of his ancestors, even as the wounds piled up. The enemy's resolve faltered, and soon a no man's land of two paces formed between the Fire Nation and Water Tribe soldiers. In that lull, Katara reached up to clasp her mother's necklace only to find the bare skin of her neck. One last gift, my love, she said to herself.

    "So there was no hope after all," said Yutu, gripping his bloodied war club tighter.

    "No," said Katara, "there's infinite hope. But not for us. Light it!"

    As Ornlu dipped a torch to the fuze's braided end, an unfamiliar voice shouted, "Stop!"

    The barest hesitation by the old warrior was all that was needed. Doubt was seeping into the Water Tribe warriors. The man who'd spoken stepped forward. His dull red armor, worn from years of abuse, creaked as he walked. "No one else has to die today. You're all brave lads, but don't be bloody fools. Fight's over, just walk away."

    Exhausted, frightened eyes looked back at Katara. They could not trust the Ashmaker, but neither did they want to die. So they stood on the primer, waiting for the hammer to fall.

    "Give me the torch, Ornlu," said Katara. Her eyes met the Fire Nation captain's as Ornlu passed the torch to her. "You're right, no one should have to die today."

    The old captain relaxed an inch. "Good, good, let's all breathe easy."

    "You know it's funny, really," said Katara, giving a wink to Ornlu.

    "What's so funny?"

    "We're all out of Waterbending, and you can't fight this fire with fire."

    The captain's eyes went white with alarm as Katara plunged the torch towards the fuze. His last ditch effort to knock the torch away ended with Ornlu's boomerang smacking him in the head. The fuze sputtered and sparked as the room descended into bedlam. Some of the soldiers ran, while others chased after the burning fuze.

    Even in the chaos, there was no escaping. Katara cast aside all hope of fleeing to chase after the now helmetless captain as he weaved through the melee on a one-way mission to cut the fuze or die in the attempt. Katara shoved aside men a full head taller than herself to weave through the forest of swinging blades, finally body slamming her quarry mere seconds before his triumph.

    As they rolled and tousled, she felt the deep sting of his sword slicing across her back. Howling, she headbutted him, managing to daze him as much as herself. World spinning, they disentangled. Katara tore off the bloodied parka, but every move brought fresh spurts of hot blood down her back. She bit back the pain and crawled after him.

    His fingers stretched, tantalizingly close to the unburnt length of the fuze, as Katara flopped on him, crushing him down on the ice. He swatted at her, trying to wrench himself free, but Katara summoned up the last of her might, vowing to Amarok and all her ancestors to grapple to the last with the Ashmaker, spitting her last breath in defiance.

    Acrid smoke stung at Katara's eyes as the burn raced past his outstretched hand. The captain cried, "You've killed us all!"

    "My soul is prepared," said Katara, tightening her grip around his neck. "How's yours?"

    The blasting jelly charges blew one-by-one, like a god pounding his drum. The blasts sent them both sliding down the tunnel. The ice groaned and the world shook, the herald of La's vengeance. A wall of water and pulverized ice burst forth, all-destroying but unconquering, to sweep them all away. Grinning, Katara shouted, "Azula! Witness me!"


    Azula walked towards the parapet as the ash rained down around her. The thunder of catapults pounded the keep like drums. The soldiers cowered under the onslaught, so fierce that even the Fire Nation gunners pitied the men under it. Never had she felt so alone as now, teetering here at the edge of hope. Her normal confidence had faltered. She wasn't sure she could do it, that she could bear the weight of the world any longer. But if she could not, then no one could. That alone was reason enough to spit her last breath in defiance.

    The fleet was close in the bay, pounding Agna Q'ela as fast as the crews could load. Azula saw the damage wrought by the breaking of the dam and the unleashing of the reservoir, and her heart clenched. Two wards of the city had been washed away in the cascade of ice and water, and with it hundreds of Fire Nation soldiers and their war machines. In the scoured landscape, Water Tribe soldiers charged forward.

    Azula knew she had to be proud, but she lost the stomach for it. It may well have been Katara's last defiant act.

    There was no use thinking about it. If she lived through this, Azula would have the rest of her life to mourn. Dawn should have come by now. But the battlefield remained smothered in the pitch-black blanket of the moonless night. Perhaps it would never rise again in retribution for this sacrilege, and they'd perish in this world drained of color.

    "There's something sleeping inside me, which seldom awakens." Azula said aloud. "I've asked many times for help, for a hint of what I need to do, for guidance. I've had nothing but silence except from the man who condemned me to this. I was never supposed to be the Avatar." She looked up at the fleet, eyes narrowed with fury. "But there's no use lamenting the road not taken. And I am no longer asking."

    It was like putting her hand on a hot stove. But as much as it seared her to the bone, Azula reached within herself and grabbed hold of that feeling that overwhelmed her everytime she fell into the Avatar State. And she pulled, with all her might, until she felt the qi rushing outwards.

    She fell to her knees, screaming in pain. But she would not relent, as the blue aura spread, returning a tinge of color to the world around her. Eyes glowing, teeth gritted, Azula stumbled to her feet, fighting back the pain. She formed the lightning sigil with her hands and began the separation of energies.

    A memory of a similar moment flashed up, untold thousands of years ago, when her name was not Azula, when she gave counsel to her friend, the young warrior-prince Arjuna. Firing this bolt was like riding the thunderstorm. It struck a Fire Nation battleship amidships, arcing off the bow and stern to the adjacent ships. In the flash, the metal heated red-hot. A dozen ships sizzled in the water for a moment, until their boilers erupted into giant fountains of steam, peeling them open like kernels of popcorn.

    The power of three elements rained down on the Fire Nation troops. Typhoon winds stripped the flesh from mens' bones. The earth broke through the deep ice, forming new battlements, cracking chasms to swallow the giant drills whole. Fire burning like the Sun herself scorched the land. The Avatar State usually wielded her. But this time it surrendered to her, that almighty cause of world-destruction, come hither to end worlds. All the ranks arrayed against her would perish.

    The power of the Avatar State left Azula soon after, and she collapsed into a boneless heap. But the bombardment stopped. As she crawled, wincing, up to the parapet, she watched the attackers pulling back.

    Time had been bought. The cost was more than Azula could bear. One foot in-front of the other. The men who'd hated her, sneered at the traitor princess, or whispered their jealous innuendos parted, bowing in genuine awe. The power of the Avatar State had lit up a world plunged into darkness.

    Seeing god in the flesh; Azula supposed that was reason enough for religious terror. Their genuflections went in one ear and out the other. There was no time for this; she'd already hacked off a piece of herself with Katara's last gift. Only by the all-consuming grief could Azula grab the Wheel of Dharma with white-knuckle grip and turn its course. But it still was not enough.

    She searched through the halls of the palace, stepping over the dead and the dying. If Azula stopped even for a moment, her strength might abandon her. She found Yue comforting her younger brother Tulok, who wailed into her chest. He was so young, that even as she knelt, the boy barely came up to her heart.

    Yue glanced up to Azula and nodded. An old god had died. A new one was struggling to be born. Now was the time of monsters.

    "Tulok, buddy," Yue whispered, patting his back, "I've got to go now."

    His babbling was incomprehensible, but Azula knew it anyway: I don't want you to go. Me neither.

    "I'm going to help keep you safe. I need you to be brave, okay?"

    Azula was tired of being brave. But then this was the price she owed, letting others go in her stead. Yue rose, patting Tulok's head one last time. She took Azula by the hand and pulled her down the road destiny had laid for her.

    Yue's voice cracked. "If I could do this on my own, I would. It's…it's horrible that you have to be the one."

    "What is going to happen?"

    Yue said nothing.

    "I need you to say it out loud, Yue. Will there be anything left of you?"

    "I don't know!" Yue stopped, throwing her hands up. "All that is mortal in me will be gone. I don't know what's left after that. Whether I'm dying, being born, or just fading to nothing. But that was the price that was paid for me to even live."

    Azula wrapped Yue up in her arms. "I'm scared too."

    "When I first met you, I thought you were fearless, so far beyond a pampered princess like me. But being with you has taught me to be brave."

    "I would have been happy to be your wife. Err, husband…not that it matters. Point is, I need you to know that it may have been politics that betrothed us, I don't regret it."

    "I love you too, Azula."

    Flustered, Azula could only mutter "Yeah."

    "Come, we can't tarry any longer."

    After passing through the rear lines of the Water Tribe soldiers, they walked the lonely road up to the Spirit Oasis. They encountered exhausted Fire Nation soldiers, now cut off from the main body of the army. Azula took the lead, cutting the men down without mercy. None had the stomach to face Azula after seeing the Avatar State. Even the ones that fled were torched. She left the wounded to freeze.

    Zhao and three Imperial Firebenders guarded the final way to the Spirit Sanctuary. Zhao wore his colonel's epaulets with sneering disdain. When he recognized Azula marching up the stairs, he let out a full throated laugh. "So we meet again, Azula, at another of my triumphs."

    "Zhao," she spat. "I thought I recognized your stench. I knew you'd sell your mother for your ambitions, but you truly have outdone yourself."

    "Here you are, sleeping with the savages, caked in their heathen warpaint, and you dare to judge me?"

    Lightning crackled across Azula's mail. "No, Zhao, I am going to kill you."

    The three Imperial Firebenders brandished their fire, but Zhao raised a hand and said, "I've slain the false moon god, I'll slay the Avatar too. I challenge you to Agni K–"

    The lightning had already arced from her fingertips. Zhao only had a split second of terror before the bolt struck him square in the chest. The flashing plasma knocked his companions to the ground.

    Zhao was strewn out on the cobblestones, smoke rising from his scorched breastplate. He gurgled a few incomprehensible words, raising a twitching hand.

    "Do you really think I'd leave the fate of the world up to single combat?" Azula lowered her hand. "You three, surrender or die. I've already tired of this carnage."

    The glowing blue aura of spirit energy was a compelling argument. The three doffed their helms and tied each other up when prompted, with Yue finishing the last man's bonds.

    All that was left was to climb the last steps to the heart of the sanctum. Azula followed Yue up, like the morning star followed the moon. Yue trembled with each step, her pace slowing. Azula caught her, putting an arm around her waist. "If I could go in your place, I would," whispered Azula.

    "I know."

    The air smelled of spring. Atop the stairs, a warm, lush grotto invited them to earthly paradise. In the glowing blue pond, a koi lay belly-up. Its mate frantically circled.

    Aang's spirit manifested atop the placid water. He looked stricken, as though his own life was meeting its end. "Azula. It's time."

    Yue did not seem surprised by the apparition. "Your last incarnation?"

    "Yes." Azula led Yue to the pool. "What must we do?"

    Aang opened his eyes, uncurling from the lotus position. "Enter the Spirit Oasis with Yue. When you invoke the Avatar State, you'll know what to do."

    "I wish that we'd stop meeting under such dire circumstances."

    "You live in dire times." Aang disappeared into a wisp of smoke.

    This really was it. The end of their road. It burned away everything in Azula to even take the next step. Another heart had come into Azula's life, touching hers and leaving her irrevocably changed, only to leave her. Again. If only…if only "If only we had more time."

    Yue touched Azula's cheek. "I don't want to go, Azula. But I can't stay."

    When they reached the edge of the oasis, Azula doffed her blood-stained mail and hauberk.

    "I guess I won't be needing these either," said Yue, discarding her blood-matted furs and her silk robe. Nude, her natural glow waxed, white hair shining silver, as the light from her returned color to the oasis. Shining like the moon, she removed everything of artifice, from her betrothal necklace to her earrings.

    Azula's mouth hung open as she watched Yue's many piercings close before her very eyes, leaving unblemished brown skin.

    "I can feel it beginning," said Yue, as her hair fluttered in the still air. "I dreamed of this moment before. I'm remembering it again only now. At the time, I thought it was our wedding night."

    Yue was so beautiful, so radiant, it hurt to look at her. Self-conscious, Azula stripped down to her fundoshi and bandeau.

    Yue walked across the waters. Kneeling at the corpse of Tui, she cradled the dead goddess in her arms. "Rest now, friend," she whispered. Both koi turned into twinkling stars, rising into the southern aurora.

    Azula splashed into the oasis. The warm water came up to her hips as she waded over to Yue, who settled into Azula's arms in princess carry.

    "Don't cry, Azula," Yue raised her hand to brush the silent stream of tears. "I'll be watching over you every night. I'm sorry I have to break your heart."

    "I'm not. I…at the risk of sounding ridiculous, the pain feels like it will kill me, but I really do think that loving you both has saved my soul. To love and to be loved changed me. It has given me a reason to live. Even if I spend the rest of my life resenting your absence."

    "Kiss me then."

    Their lips met slowly at first. A ravenous need filled Azula, and Yue certainly returned it in kind. Their kiss deepened, tongues mingling as Yue held Azula's head in her hands. The air rose around them, as the limitless wellspring of the Avatar State surged through them. The oasis shined brighter than the sun, swirling blue spirit energy lifting the lovers up. And then apart. Azula reached out to grab Yue's hand, screaming her name into the howling wind.

    It was like staring into the sun. Azula's eyes shut but she still shouted until she was hoarse. She landed in a heap by the oasis, knocking the coursing energy of the Avatar State out of her. Her eyes creaked open, and on instinct she shielded them with her hand. A titan glowing like moonlight knelt over her. As tall as a mountain, the ground quaked as the titan rose, silver hair blowing back to reveal Yue's face.

    The glaciers groaned with Yue's tides. Waters swept into the city. Looking through the keyhole in the glacier, Azula could see the utter devastation being wrought on the invaders. But Yue could never be a wrathful goddess. They did not deserve her mercy, but she gave it anyway. Had she willed it, they would have all died to a man. Thousands already did, while the chastened survivors fell prostrate before her.

    The surging waters receded from Agna Qel'a, leaving a battered but still standing city. It would be some time before the miracle could be fully appreciated. The waters quenched fires and swept Fire Nation soldiers and war machines away, but left the people of Agna Qel'a and their homes undisturbed.

    Radiant Yue hovered over the city, arms outstretched. Azula could only watch in awe, feeling the warm song of the sea once again. Yue turned to look down at Azula one last time. Her forlorn smile broke Azula's heart. All of Yue was still there. Her apotheosis was perfect and complete, and this separated their hearts forever. The Avatar was the tether between Spirit and the Mundane, and could never fully exist in either.

    Azula waved goodbye. She closed her eyes and found herself once again the moon temple from her prophetic dream. This time, she was not clad in the raiment of war. She was naked and completely vulnerable.

    Yue descended from the obsidian plinth, wrapping her arms around Azula, hands resting on the Avatar's belly as she floated behind. Yue sighed, "If only they could all see the world as I do. Not four separate nations, but one world in pain. Don't judge them too harshly, my love, they know not what they do."

    Azula rested a hand on Yue's. "I am just…" the words stopped as the tears flowed. "Just to see you again, to know you're alright, it's enough."

    "No, it isn't. Not for you or for me. Perhaps that's why we were a matched pair. We both lived on borrowed time, lives that were not our own."

    Azula turned, standing on tiptoes to give Yue one last kiss. The moondrops fell from Yue's cheeks. "I know this isn't exactly death. But please do not be offended when I wear the ashes of mourning for you as well as for Katara. When I give my offerings to Yama for your safekeeping. Or when I light incense on your birthday."

    "I won't be offended. Just don't let the grief keep you from living."

    "I saw a vision like this before. Of us looking down from the moon. It was different though. I…know that the future is still mine to make. But what I really mean to say is, even if I knew with certainty it would all end this way, I would not change one day. I will always cherish our time together."

    Yue kissed Azula's forehead. "I'll be watching over you. Even on the darkest nights of the new moon, I will be there."

    Azula opened her eyes to the sun rising over the bay. The light warmed her skin and dried her tears. Turning, Azula watched the moon begin its journey back to its appointed place. For the first time since she went on the run, Azula observed the morning prayer ritual, genuflecting to the rising sun, the gleam in Agni's eye. She then gathered up all of Yue's mortal trappings. She kept the jewelry, stashing them away in her trouser and vest pockets.

    Yue's clothes were gathered into a folded pile and made into a pyre. Once it had carbonized, Azula smeared the fine charcoal dust into a band across her eyes.

    Katara! However remote the odds, Azula had to know. Not even bothering to finish dressing, she ran down the terraced city. Only the breath of fire warmed Azula as she searched the city high and low. The search went on all day, as the beleaguered survivors continued to pull bodies out of the bay.

    Sokka found Azula late afternoon, sitting on the docks cradling a bloody parka to her chest. Azula's lips had turned blue from hypothermia, but she stayed there, rocking back and forth.

    "Azula, buddy, it's a little cold for this," said Sokka.

    A small voice, so very unlike Azula, answered. "I've killed her. It's my fault."

    Sokka noticed the distinctive patch on the parka's shoulder, and a pit formed in his stomach. A ragged, bloody cut had torn through the fur and leather. Even through the iron smell of blood, Sokka could smell his sister's scent on it.

    Sokka crushed Azula into a bear hug. "Don't say that. I couldn't stop her, neither could you."

    "If I had just been smarter. Faster. Better. Then. Then she'd."

    "No, you already did more than anyone thought possible."

    Azula finally fell silent and let herself be comforted. After the rush of silent tears came and went, Azula whispered, "I don't deserve you, Sokka."

    "Well we're family, so you're stuck with me."

    "Family?"

    "Please, you really think my own sister wouldn't tell me you practically proposed to her?"

    "But that was when–"

    "She never gave up on you, or the dream of getting to be just a normal woman with her. That makes us family, as far as I'm concerned."

    Azula was silent. Warmth returned to her body as she remembered to draw qi through her fire chokra with each breath. "Oh! Suki!" she blurted, "Is she fine? I'm sorry, I didn't think."

    "Relax, she's wounded but it's light. Especially now that the healers have gotten to her. She just needs to take it easy for a few days."

    Azula patted his back for a pensive moment. "I need to get stronger."

    "No, you need to rest."
     
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  • Threadmarks
    • This chapter is tragic in so many ways. Personally for Azula of course, but also for the people of the Northern Water tribe. Survival at any cost seems a fine principle in times of peace and comfort, but when it comes time to decide which of a people's brothers, sisters, daughters, and sons have to die in order to ensure that the rest will have a mere chance to live, and it seems much less plainly obvious that it should be done in that moment. It still must be done, of course, but it still feels wrong.

    Also NGL Zhao just getting brutally killed mid sentence is surprisingly satisfying after the horrors his ambitions wrought. Not even the glory of dying in a one on one duel with the Avatar. A good death, as much as such a thing can be said to exist, is not something he earned.

    Also, it's a testament to your writing that I wasn't sure that Katara was actually dead until the last few paragraphs, because the tone of the story is balanced enough that I could actually believe that some lucky break or Avatar State caused Miracle could have saved her at the 11th hour.

    But War has it's costs, and the title of hero is one we all too often have to heap upon the dead like grave goods.

    Also it takes a lot of skill to make a death both incredibly badass and utterly heartbreaking at the same time, and Katara's last scene managed it.
     
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    Are you saving any scenes involving Pakku about Kanna and Katara for later?
     
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    Now that's a bitter victory, not even a victory really - only survival.

    While not doomed to race through that misty labyrinth, Zhao still died as the worthless scum that he is.
     
    greendoor said:
    This chapter is tragic in so many ways. Personally for Azula of course, but also for the people of the Northern Water tribe. Survival at any cost seems a fine principle in times of peace and comfort, but when it comes time to decide which of a people's brothers, sisters, daughters, and sons have to die in order to ensure that the rest will have a mere chance to live, and it seems much less plainly obvious that it should be done in that moment. It still must be done, of course, but it still feels wrong.

    Also NGL Zhao just getting brutally killed mid sentence is surprisingly satisfying after the horrors his ambitions wrought. Not even the glory of dying in a one on one duel with the Avatar. A good death, as much as such a thing can be said to exist, is not something he earned.

    Also, it's a testament to your writing that I wasn't sure that Katara was actually dead until the last few paragraphs, because the tone of the story is balanced enough that I could actually believe that some lucky break or Avatar State caused Miracle could have saved her at the 11th hour.

    But War has it's costs, and the title of hero is one we all too often have to heap upon the dead like grave goods.

    Also it takes a lot of skill to make a death both incredibly badass and utterly heartbreaking at the same time, and Katara's last scene managed it.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    It's an awful battle to be sure, but while Agna Qel'a is the most important city in the North, it's not their only city. The stakes are grim, but basically if the Fire Nation can take the capital in a single lightning blow this way, the Northern Water Tribe would suffer state collapse or capitulate entirely.

    I figure'd an ignoble death was the least that he deserved, and the fact that it suited Azula's generally pragmatic approach made it all the sweeter.
    Mazeka said:
    Are you saving any scenes involving Pakku about Kanna and Katara for later?
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I didn't have anything in mind, it's something that will show up if it comes up organically in later books.
    WildCan said:
    Now that's a bitter victory, not even a victory really - only survival.

    While not doomed to race through that misty labyrinth, Zhao still died as the worthless scum that he is.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    His ass will not be escaping saṃsāra
     
    Book One Epilogue: Beyond the Time
  • Threadmarks
    • Epilogue: Beyond the Time


    The sun rose over the city of Gaoling, peering through a notch in the eastern mountains. Toph Beifong felt the war rays on her face, instinctively turning away. In the distance her father was whispering with business partners about reports of Fire Nation troops massing at the State of Gaoling's borders.

    He reiterated his orders to the household staff to tell nothing of this to Toph. A scowl wrinkled Toph's cheeks for a moment. She hid it behind porcelain, sipping daintily the jasmine tea. Mother was proud of the tea, boasting that it was grown on this very estate. It was a lifeless, astringent brew, and Toph found herself smacking her lips in a vain effort to get rid of the aftertaste.

    This was home life for Toph. A father who'd been lying to her for years, and a narcissistic mother living vicariously through her.

    Father's shoes scuffed across the tiles towards her. "Oh Toph, my little gemstone," he called."

    "I can hear you fine, father," said Toph, carefully measuring her tone.

    "I've been thinking, dearest. About how you've always wanted to see–err I mean experience more of the world."

    Truthfully, Toph didn't really care, but her father's constant slip ups while he treated her with kid gloves were an endless amusement. "Oh father? What did you have in mind?"

    "I think it's high time a budding young woman like you went to Ba Sing Se. I'm making arrangements for you to stay with your aunt Lin."

    Toph was sure she gave it all away in a moment of shock. Her heart thumped to a halt as her lips scrunched up. The table cloth bunched up in her fist. How could even that oaf not notice? He just droned on about the wondrous life to be found in Ba Sing Se's upper ring, masking his deceit with gaiety.

    She would have known he was lying even if she hadn't overheard. Her stomach tried to turn itself inside out as she went through the motions of being the dutiful, demure daughter. When her father excused himself, Toph crushed the porcelain cup in her fist. She kneaded the crumbles like clay, something to distract her. After forming the porcelain into a perfectly spherical marble, she decided it wasn't working.

    Toph stormed from the garden veranda, ignoring the entreaties from the servants to guide her. Who is the blind one, really? she mused. In the past year, she'd stopped feigning all signs of frailty. She walked unaided through the manor, without even a guide stick. She'd started exercising openly at home, concealing neither physical nor bending practice. Yet still everyone from father on down treated her like an invalid.

    And now, after finally making friends, finally finding a place where she could be something more than just the frail daughter of a prominent family, she was being shipped away; by a man who wouldn't even acknowledge that their country was fighting a war (to say nothing of losing one) in her presence.

    The Earth Rumble was lost to her. She'd be caged in the upper ring, safe from the horrors of the war but utterly alone. Sprawling on her bed, Toph sighed. She'd wanted so badly to get out of here, and now the finger had curled on the monkey's paw.

    A dangerous thought came. What if she just stopped obeying? There would be a hundred places to get lost in on the road to Ba Sing Se. A thousand in the city itself. It was her life, not her parents'. She was almost fifteen now. The girl who was supposedly the new Avatar wasn't much older. Well, she thought, what do I have to lose?


    It was a tumultuous late autumn on the eastern shores of the Earth Kingdom. The surf crashed on the beach, the waves churning the littoral into white-capped froth. This port city was too close to Ba Sing Se to be effectively occupied; its walls and battlements remained intact, and the long docklands bustled even on a foul day like today.

    It was as safe as Azula and her companions could get. Fat droplets of rain splashed on the hanok porch. Azula watched the little puddles form from atop the cozy ondol, a heated floor made from thick masonry built atop the long stove flue.

    The tattooist mixed his inks in a stoneware mortar. Azula lay on her stomach, stripped down to her waist, while Suki sat at her head, holding her hand. The princess's tummy still itched from yesterday's session, even after applying the healing technique last evening and this morning.

    It was a good pain, Azula decided. A warm glow filled her cheeks. It had taken time to figure out how best to write Katara's memory on her body. She'd decided to have the lines on her belly done to evoke the pattern of Katara's betrothal necklace. And because Azula was constitutionally incapable of half-measures, once she broke the tattoo taboo she decided on a gaudy womb tattoo, something only a prostitute would dare to have in the Fire Nation.

    It's my body, not my father's, Azula mused. The tattooist, Gen, applied a mild soap to her bare back. His hands were pleasant as he worked in the suds. Feeling the wonderful lilt of the soju, Azula said "You know, if tattooing doesn't pan out, you could be a great masseur."

    Gen snorted as he toweled her off. The feather-light strokes of a pen followed as he sketched out the pattern Azula had drawn for him, a sequence of the phases of the moon, going from full moon and back as it ran down her spine. The last flourish was entirely his own, fluffy white clouds flanking the moon above her sacrum.

    Suki had sneered and called it a 'tramp stamp'. It tickled Azula so much she'd paid him double on the spot.

    The needle pierced her skin, eliciting a soft "mmm" from Azula. Gen flushed, shaking his head as he continued to fill in the lines with ink. "You're not going to, uh, have a–" he paused, searching for the most delicate word, "--a convulsion like last time, right?"

    "What's the matter, Gen?" teased Azula, "Are not used to hearing a woman make that sound?"

    Even Suki was scandalized. "Azula! He's married!"

    Gen thanked her but offered his own defense. "No, I don't hear that much in here. Pain doesn't usually do that."

    "I can't help not being a usual woman," said Azula. Her mind wandered from the exquisite pain of the needle marking her. "But I do apologize if it makes you feel like you're unfaithful."

    Suki patted her head. "Proud of you."

    Anger rose. "Do not pet me like a dog."

    Gen laughed. "Oh it's quite alright. My wife, she actually works at the brothel next door. She laughed when I told her."

    Azula smiled, laying her head on her folded arms. "I think that's lovely, Gen. We all deserve to be loved."

    "That does mean a lot, coming from the Avatar."

    The melange of pain and pleasure had made Azula warm and languide, a relaxation she hadn't felt in weeks. It wonderfully complimented the alcohol. She remembered Katara sitting across from her, blue eyes peering at her over the wine cup, the night Azula first realized she had a thing for Katara. The melancholy returned again.

    She could just about survive thinking about one or the other of them. But both their fragile, mortal bonds overwhelmed her. Azula suddenly felt foolish, worried this had broken in spirit her promise to stop engaging in self-harm. Foolish thinking that the physical pain of the needle could crowd out the mortal pain in her heart.

    It was selfish of her. But Azula wanted everyone to know, especially those who would behold her body and soul in intimacy, that she belonged first to Katara and Yue, that she could never forget them.

    "If you don't mind me asking," said Azula, "how did you meet your wife?"

    Gen laughed uneasily. She could feel the frustration behind the needle, but he kept diligently at his work. When the ink reservoir emptied, Azula propped herself on her elbows, looking over her shoulder at Gen.

    He was a coil of tension. Other men judged him weak, and did not shy away from saying it to his face. And he got off the lighter of the two. But those men were all fools. Their eyes met, and Azula understood that only a very strong heart could bear that and still love.

    "We're untouchables, what else can I say?" Gen deflected.

    Azula sat up and took his hand in hers. "I meant what I said, Gen."

    Gen shrugged. "My mother was one too. I grew up with many 'aunts' looking after me. They may have been despised by the world, but they were my family. When I left to seek my fortune, I guess it was just natural I'd gravitate that way."

    Gen offered them both more soju, promising to tell them the full story. Suki was quite interested too, remarking about Avatar Kyoshi's humble origins among people considered the refuse of society.

    After refilling his pedal-pumped contraption, Gen talked at length about his wife. Azula mostly behaved herself, only occasionally interrupting to ask something about the tattoo 'pen' that scrawled over her back.

    Gen had met Lihua four years ago, when he was a journeyman fresh out of his apprenticeship. Feeling flush from his hard work and lonely, a combination that had brought about many a young man's ruin, Gen found himself at the Jade Lily one evening with the other young bucks.

    He was enamored with Lihua at first sight, buying her services without thought to the hole he'd burn in his wallet. But he was so bashful he wound up running his mouth so much, they ended up just talking while cuddled up together. Until the dawn broke through the window, and Gen realized they'd never quite got around to the deed.

    Eyes glassy and feeling gooey with the euphoria of pain, Azula remarked, "It's a cute story."

    Suki hadn't said anything the whole story but forlorn little "Awww's", until she patted Azula's head again and cooed, "When Katara said you were a romantic, I didn't believe her." The older girl wiped a lone tear from her eye.

    "She showed me parts of myself I didn't know were there." Azula sighed, drinking in the aroma of the rains. "I wish Sokka could be here."

    "Yeah, after last time that's not gonna happen. You're basically his adopted sister."

    "It's not my fault. It's a purely biological reaction."

    "I'm glad for you. You used to be so embarrassed about all this."

    "Another…" Azula trailed off. She was going to dwell on Katara again. The grief had become an old friend, and she wondered if there was anything left for her beyond its black veil. "Another thing I learned from them."

    She decided to just focus on the delicious prick of the needle lancing in and out of her skin. Yesterday's nerves were gone, and perhaps it was being so on edge that had set her off.

    But Gen felt like an old friend now. His delicate work continued with steady conversation. It was an exercise in trust that the old Azula could have never survived. He poured her another saucer of soju, which she relished. When he returned to his work, Azula muttered, "I should learn how to do this someday."

    "Well if some day the Avatar wishes to learn, who am I to refuse her?" said Gen with a laugh.


    Katara opened her eyes. The memories flooded back, driving her heart into a panicked frenzy. She bolted awake, tearing aside the straw blanket. The fetid air assaulted her nose. The gentle roll upset her stomach, but with only bile in her it soon quieted.

    "I'm on a ship," she muttered.

    The scabs on her back tore with the exertion. Her hand fell to her waist to find clean linen bandages wrapped around her. Someone had put a great deal of effort into cleaning, dressing and stitching her wound.

    The iron bars had begun to rust where the paint was thinnest. She was in the bowels of this ironclad, lit only by gas lanterns, but she felt the pull of the moon again. She did it. Yue really did it.

    But when Katara tried to bend the water in her latrine, no matter how she tried it would not move. Something burned on her forehead each time. She reached up to find a sore bruise on her crown chakra.

    "Oh you're awake," said a voice beyond the bars.

    Katara rushed up to the iron, snarling. "You! I recognize you. You're the one who tried to stop me." Katara smirked, "What's the matter, come to have failure rubbed in?"

    The man's face was bruised from their fight. An old scar tugged on the corner of his lips. His armor, pitted and scarred from years of use, looked only slightly less abused than his body. He smiled at her, exposing crooked but white teeth. "Call it a miracle, or divine intervention, but your little stunt didn't kill us, and we didn't die from hypothermia before we were fished out of the ocean."

    The man glanced around for any listeners. "And well, I couldna' leave you to die, miss. 'Specially with you being one of Azula's companions."

    Katara's eyes narrowed. "So I'm a hostage."

    The man pulled back in surprise. "Oh good heavens no! What kind of man do you take me for?"

    "An officer in a murderous army of conquerors."

    "Well I came up from the ranks, so it's always been my guts for their glory. No, no, I owe our mutual friend a life debt. I intend to keep it, in so far as I don't directly betray my country."

    "That's hard for me to believe."

    "Just keep your mouth shut and you won't have to believe. You're just a Water Tribe healer we captured before we had to tuck tail and run. Understand?"

    "Understood."

    "You'll have to cooperate, of course."

    "And that's the other shoe dropping."

    "It's hard to find sufficiently loyal healers among those we press into service."

    "Gee, I wonder why."

    "I'm not going to debate the politics of it. Do you want my help or not?"

    "Fine. My name is Katara. What's yours?"

    "No it's not, try again."

    "Fine. I'm Kya."

    "Nice to meet you, Healer Kya. I"m Captain Li of the 8th Calderan Regiment."
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Aelita said:
    A dangerous thought came. What if she just stopped obeying? There would be a hundred places to get lost in on the road to Ba Sing Se.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    It's a long long way to Ba-Sing-Se,
    but the girls in the city are oh so pretty!
    :lol:

    Aelita said:
    Katara opened her eyes. The memories flooded back, driving her heart into a panicked frenzy. She bolted awake, tearing aside the straw blanket. The fetid air assaulted her nose. The gentle roll upset her stomach, but with only bile in her it soon quieted.

    "I'm on a ship," she muttered.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    SHE'S ALIVE!

    Aelita said:
    "Nice to meet you, Healer Kya. I"m Captain Li of the 8th Calderan Regiment."
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Wait, is he THAT Li from the start of the story?
     
    Ok, I really didn't expect that ending.

    Usually I'm not a fan of fakeout deaths, but Captain Li was well established earlier, and this sounds like this will actually probably lead to some very interesting plots whenever book 2 occurs, so I'm ok with it.
     
    I do not think Toph has to run so much as her escort run into trouble en route.

    Azula has no intention of even attempting to rejoin what may pass for Fire Nation Polite Society even presuming Best Case Scenarios concerning the New Order. "Kya" will appreciate the gesture if/when she gets wind of it though.
     
    Li? Ah right, the one who helped Azula in the first arc.

    The Earth arc will be interesting, at least the arrival to the Ba Sing Se though once team Avatar arrives arrives at the impenetrable city the plot will go off rails.

    Though with Toph doing her own thing, the plot is already off rails.
     
    It wasn't really a fake out death. We clearly saw her take off the bloody parka that Azula found so from the readers perspective we always knew she was alive.
     
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