I realized it a second before it happened.
The night lit up by a blue lightsaber, Adina stood in the middle of the bridge before me, blocking the way. She held her blade at her side in a relaxed grip as she regarded me.
I stopped and rested the butt of my staff against the metal bridge. Sighing, I tilted my head back against the cool and heavy rain before I spoke up, "So…" I said quietly, "We ended up here eventually."
"We did," she said quietly, "You killed Jasken."
"I defended myself."
"I know. I felt it," she said, "You fought someone else first. I felt…"
I reached up and pushed my hood back, "You felt me use the dark side for real."
"Yes. And you still are."
I nodded and let my breath out, "I'm not a raving lunatic, Adina," I told her, "I can control it, you know I can. If I could when we fought your sister, I can now."
She shook her head, "That's not how it works and you know it. It never ends well. Hiver, you know how things go for dark side users, better than any of us."
I gritted my teeth, "I can't. I can handle it."
"Please."
I took a step forward and her lightsaber went up, aimed at my chest but I ignored it, "What would you have me do?"
"Come with me, we can go to th-"
"The council? Master Huran?" I asked and shook my head, "No. Not this time. They took a chance on me and look what happened. This time they'll just kill me."
Adina didn't answer for a long moment, slowly lowering her lightsaber, "It won't…" she said before she trailed off, "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know," I admitted, "Get off planet. Then… I don't know."
"Everyone will be after you."
"I know."
The wind picked up for a moment, the rain pouring down hard, hissing against the ignited blade of her lightsaber.
Adina shook her head, "No, Hiver. If they catch you… what's worse, if they don't… you have to come with me. Come back. You'll fall."
I smiled faintly, "Can't fall to where you already are. You know it. You felt it."
"But you're still in control. It's not too lat-"
"I'm too much in control," I told her, "Which may be part of the problem. I'm going to go away, far away from the Sith, from the Jedi. Try to… clear things up."
Adina looked frustrated, letting her breath out, "I can't let you go, I'll talk to the council, we'll help you. You know what'll happen if I let you leave. You know I can't let you do that. Damn it, Hiver!"
"You do what you must," I said and started to walk forward, her lightsaber coming up in a defensive posture, "But I won't fight you. But I can't stay either."
Adina lowered her lightsaber, the blade extinguishing, leaving us in the darkness and nothing but the sound of the heavy rain against the metal bridge, "I… I'm afraid of what will happen if you go," she said, barely audible over the rain, "Not if the Sith or the… the Jedi find you. What you will do… become… with nobody to watch over you."
I stopped next to her, facing away, "I'm not going to do anything dumb."
"Yes you will," Adina said, a small smile in her voice.
"...Likely. But I'm going to do it away from anyone else. I'm not going to become some sort of… rage monster. I'm not a Sith, Adina."
"No," she answered quietly, "You are something a lot more dangerous. I can't stop you, even if I tried. I won't fight you. If you're going, I'm going with you."
I turned to her, "No."
"Yes. Because if I don't, you most definitely will fall."
I shook my head, "Adina, if you come… The Jedi will throw you out of the order."
"They might do it now anyway," she said.
"They'll kill you if they catch us. Either side."
"Maybe. But I'm coming," she said firmly, "I'm not going to watch you become a monster. No matter what, you saved me once. More than once. It's my turn this time. You may think you are bound to the dark side, but you're not."
I looked at her in the darkness for long moments before I shook my head, "This is… a mistake."
"It is," Adina agreed, "But letting you walk away alone would be a bigger one."
I slowly let my breath out, "Jedi."
"Sith."
Shaking my head, I walked past her. Adina turned to follow me into the darkness.