Catchandelier Cleans Out Her Fanfiction Favorites List (Bandwagon Hooo~!)

[Catchandelier]

I think I realized I could never enjoy Ranma 1/2 the way I used to at about the same time I subconsciously realized that I'm both bisexual and not terribly impressed with situational comedy. I also read the final volume where they try to get married and Literally Everything Goes Wrong and it all ends on a "to be continued?" note that just pisses me off and, well...
On the bisexual front, Ranma Saotome is an interesting idea. It's also about this time that the whole "Ranma's being harassed by a bunch of women hahahaha" thing became... not funny. I never really laughed at it, to be honest, I just read it and was very confused about a fair number of things, including why Ranma didn't just tell the girls around him that he didn't want to marry them, honor be damned. This might be where my whole "honor just gets in the way" thing came from, or at least "honor is not something you inherit; you make it and earn it anew" thing.
Situational Comedy that relies on people not recognizing patterns and being Stupid annoys me. Most of the Ranma 1/2 canon pisses me off, now, actually- to the point where I really just go back to look at character designs and get a hit of that good old late Eighties/Nineties style manga. Moe is a plague on this Earth.

Sailor Moon, on the other hand, was everything little girls want, be it pushed on them by society or in truth what they actually, genuinely want.
I, personally, always wanted to be a cross between Sailor Mercury and Sailor Jupiter growing up. They're still my favorite Sailor Scouts.

With all that said, this is what I chose:

Article:

The Dark Lords of Nerima
By: claymade
Ranma and Ryouga are no strangers to trouble. But when they accidentally convince both the Sailor Senshi and the Dark Kingdom that they're megalomaniacal villains bent on world domination, trouble starts to take on a whole new meaning.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Humor - Ryoga, Ranma - Chapters: 24 - Words: 230,297 - Reviews: 1,360 - Favs: 1,553 - Follows: 951 - Updated: Feb 24, 2011 - Published: May 30, 2007 - Status: Complete - id: 3566724

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3566724/1/The-Dark-Lords-of-Nerima

I chose... poorly.

Pros: Funny hijinks! Logic that leads to even more stupidity!
Cons: I can actually feel my bloodpusher working overtime trying to keep me from ragequitting this thing. My annoyance level is usually pretty low but this thing just pushes me too far.
All they have to do is talk to each other honestly, but noooooo.
t-m-t

OUT! OUT DAMNED SPOT!

 

[Catchandelier]

I'm very close to reading this on my project. That'll probably go well.

Also, regarding One Piece: I WILL FITE YOU SWEAR ON ME MUM.

Click to shrink...

It's still pretty good, mang.

Regarding OP: COME ON IF YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH, MATEY!

I'll fuckin' do it, I give no fucks.

 

[Catchandelier]

HURK! It's nearly midnight here, so let's finish this round up-

Chose this:

Article:

Precious People
By: peanutbutter126
Naruto's life the way it would have been if he was placed in a team with a sensei who truly cared for him and teammates that would slowly learn to accept and treasure his existence.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Romance - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Chapters: 17 - Words: 209,501 - Reviews: 816 - Favs: 1,978 - Follows: 2,039 - Updated: Nov 20, 2011 - Published: Jul 6, 2008 - id: 4374135

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4374135/1/Precious-People

Read the Summary, read the first few chapters, realized BORED.
It's too late for wishy-washy maybes. You don't catch my attention in the first thousand words, you're out.

OUT! OUT DAMNED SPOT!

---

We'll pick it up again probably Friday? Because Thursday we maybe go to the Anarchist Thanksgiving for Dumpster Turkey, Regular Turkey, and Spitroasted Beaver. Because Anarchists.
More to Follow.

 

[Catchandelier]

So here's the thing about growing up- things you would have accepted as a younger person you have no patience for now. Time travel is great fun. I just can't be bothered with it anymore.
And as far as Harry Potter goes... the Timetravel isn't that fun.

I chose:

Article:

Timely Errors
By: Worfe
Harry Potter never had much luck, being sent to his parents' past should have been expected. 'Complete' Time travel fic.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Supernatural - Harry P., James P. - Chapters: 13 - Words: 130,020 - Reviews: 2,107 - Favs: 8,838 - Follows: 2,470 - Updated: Jul 7, 2009 - Published: Apr 15, 2008 - Status: Complete - id: 4198643

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4198643/1/Timely-Errors

I chose fairly well for the time, but poorly considering who I am now.

Pros: Interesting premise, well written, fun, funny, dry humor and no real character bashing, which, while fun to read, doesn't really do the character in question justice.
Cons: Boring in an unfortunate way.

There's nothing actually wrong with this story- there's no glaring errors, there's no technical mistakes that are glaring enough to break my entertainment of the story, the Tell is entertaining, the characters are the right level of snarky and teenage and fun, and the series of events is logical-dumb enough to be entertaining.
Yet I am not entertained.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO HELL, BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.

 

[Catchandelier]

Crossovers don't have to be huge, or bombastic. They don't have to go into any great detail about the circumstances in which two worlds meet.
Hell, they don't even have to be very long.

I chose this:

Article:

Crossroads
By: Mystical Magician
Harry Potter crossover. At the end of his unauthorized vacation to Japan, Harry meets a compassionate young woman and an exceedingly large cat with a taste for cake. One-shot.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Fantasy - Harry P. - Words: 3,791 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 41 - Published: Jan 15, 2009 - Status: Complete - id: 4794949

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4794949/1/Crossroads

I chose very well indeed.

Often, the best thing about a crossover isn't that it's mixing two weird and wonderful things together, or telling you a long story. The best thing about a crossover is that it makes you smile- sometimes with all your face bits, sometimes just on the inside. But it always makes you smile, just a bit.
Pros: Excellent characterization, fun story in a fairly obscure Studio Ghibli film, reasonable story premise and conclusion
Cons: Short! And I'm not kidding about the Obscure Ghibli Film thing- if you haven't seen "The Cat Returns" (or possibly "Whisper of the Heart"), neither of which were directed by Miyazaki, then you're going to be missing half the magic of the crossover. With that said, I know enough about both halves of the crossover to be entertained.

Still bringing a smile to my face after all these years; stick around, we'll have cake.

 

[Catchandelier]

Naruto has a lot of dangling threads to yank on to make fun stories out of- one of the oldest I can remember being yanked on one way or another is the fact that Naruto's parents had families of their own... so where were the cousins? The aunts, the uncles, the cousins...
This story attempts to wrangle that whang-jangle.

I chose this:

Article:

A Twist of Chance
By: MockV
AU: Honestly, what were the odds of Uzumaki Naruto running into his only surviving relatives in the middle of the marketplace? Slim to none, right? Too bad the odds never mattered to the luckiest and most unfortunate genin in Konoha. [Not 367 Compliant]
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Naruto U., Minato N. - Chapters: 15 - Words: 177,237 - Reviews: 714 - Favs: 1,492 - Follows: 1,438 - Updated: Jun 19, 2008 - Published: Jun 17, 2007 - id: 3598487

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3598487/1/A-Twist-of-Chance

I chose very well indeed.

Pros: Memorable! Funny! Interesting Ocs!
Cons: Written before chapter 367 was published, so the central keystone information is hilariously wrong.

Look, mang, when you re-read the first chapter of a story and find yourself so entertained you're on the third before you realize you still have to finish a review, you've got a keeper.

Woo that's some good shit that's some good shit right there-

 

[Catchandelier]

Emotion is what makes our choices. We just use logic for Justification purposes.

I chose this:

Article:

Brothers in Arms
By: nolongerpostingonthissite
In a palace in Ba Sing Se, one man awaits his death, one boy – his torture, and another – his destiny. An Iroh, Sokka and Zuko adventure. Now with epilogue. Complete.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure - Zuko, Sokka - Chapters: 22 - Words: 59,928 - Reviews: 642 - Favs: 770 - Follows: 170 - Updated: Nov 11, 2007 - Published: Jul 12, 2007 - Status: Complete - id: 3653393

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3653393/1/Brothers-in-Arms

I chose... meh-ly.

Pros: Nothing really wrong with it, just not interesting to me.
Cons: I've outgrown this one, fam.

No big feeling here, just no reason to keep it when I don't want to read past the first chapter.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO HELL, YOU JUST CAN'T STAY HERE.

 

[CV12Hornet]

Look, mang, when you re-read the first chapter of a story and find yourself so entertained you're on the third before you realize you still have to finish a review, you've got a keeper.

Click to shrink...

Wait, you're just reading the first chapter?

Careful, that's a good way to miss a late-fic date rape joke.

 

[Catchandelier]

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
This fucking thing.

I chose this:

Article:

Medicinal Lullaby
By: Shivakashi
ON HIATUS. Fighting to keep hope in his friend, struggling to come to terms with Jiraiya's death, Uzumaki Naruto doesn't need any more on his plate. Sadly, that's what lands on his doorstep. Literally. Post Manga ch. 406 Naruto-centric MaturING!Naruto
Rated: Fiction M - English - Family/Supernatural - Naruto U. - Chapters: 32 - Words: 259,473 - Reviews: 3,006 - Favs: 3,049 - Follows: 2,515 - Updated: Apr 1, 2010 - Published: Sep 1, 2008 - id: 4512691

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4512691/1/Medicinal-Lullaby

Pros: Technically proficient uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
Cons: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

Look, here's the thing. If you're going to use a baby as a plot device, make it a real goddamn baby. Single parents who aren't expecting to become single parents are not as easy to portray as you think they are.
My suspension of disbelief was broken early on, but I was seduced by reviews elsewhere. Stick to your guns, kids.

OUT! OUT, DAMNED SPOT!

 

[Catchandelier]

Well, they can't all be winners.

Article:

And Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting
By: pianomaestra
Kakashi was almost excited about having a genin team--right until he actually met them. Pure Eyeshield 21/Naruto crack. Slight Yamato/Sena.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Sena K., Takeru Y. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,969 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 380 - Follows: 353 - Updated: Jun 22, 2011 - Published: May 25, 2009 - id: 5087071

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5087071/1/And-Everybody-Was-Kung-Fu-Fighting

Not all crossovers are good. This one is okay, but BORING! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

OUT! OUT, DAMNED SPOT!

 

[Catchandelier]

Ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh.
Nope.

Article:

A Sorting Song by Severus
By: Textualsphinx
BLOODY BRILLIANT Award Winner. Who but Severus would write a song that insults every house but his own in polysyllabic rhyming couplets? If Rowling were in her grave, she'd be spinning..
Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 1,378 - Reviews: 471 - Favs: 1,222 - Follows: 126 - Published: Mar 25, 2002 - id: 679299

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/679299/1/A-Sorting-Song-by-Severus

No.

OUT! OUT, DAMNED SPOT!

 

[Catchandelier]

Wait, you're just reading the first chapter?

Careful, that's a good way to miss a late-fic date rape joke.

Click to shrink...

I don't have the patience to re-read the entire thing; I barely have the patience to remember to turn off the Capslock. Some things are worth missing, CV. Like the Anarchist Thanksgiving I have to go to tomorrow, where there will be a dumpster!Turkey and a spit-roasted Beaver because the anarchists wouldn't go bow-hunting and tried to use a trap but they caught a beaver and I DON'T WANT TO EAT DUMPSTER!TURKEY OR SPIT-ROASTED BEAVER, OKAY, I FEEL LIKE THOSE ARE REASONABLE THINGS FOR THANKSGIVING.
So. Y'know.
It's okay to miss out on bad opportunities. The world does not need another date-rape joke.

 

[Catchandelier]

I've mentioned before that I'm not hard to please.
This is one of the results of that truth.

Article:

The Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love
By: ranfan05
Ranma's 'brilliant' scheme to cure his curse backfires and now he and Ryoga are... married? How did this happen?
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Ranma, Ryoga - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,556 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 298 - Updated: May 27, 2011 - Published: Oct 22, 2009 - id: 5459771

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5459771/1/The-Shrine-and-Motel-of-the-Goddess-of-Love

Some stories, you read them once and forget about them. Some stories, you remember being funny.
This one made me laugh so hard as a teenager I choked on my own spit. Several times.

It's a keeper! Woo! Yeah!

 

[Catchandelier]

Bored bored bored bored!

Article:

A Kind Word
By: My Kind of Paradise
Megumi had never really spoken to Rock Lee until the day of their academy graduation. Little did she know that a few encouraging words would change both their lives. Eventual LeeXOC, rated T for ninja violence. ON HIATUS!
Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Romance - Lee R. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,355 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 18 - Updated: Nov 27, 2009 - Published: May 30, 2009 - id: 5097931

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5097931/1/A-Kind-Word

Pros: Cute Romance, ninja teen drama, blah blah blah booooooooooooorrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed
Cons: BORING BORED BORED BORED BORED

Cardinal Sin of Storytelling: Boring is worse than Death. If you suddenly die, and your cousin has to upload your outline for you, I'll be satisfied- and yes, that actually happened, hopefully the story is still in my favorites. We get there when we get there.
This is not that story, because that story was ACTUALLY INTERESTING, DAMMIT.

OUT! OUT DAMNED SPOT!

 

[Catchandelier]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES.
So good!

Article:

Another Brother
By: AvocadoLove
It was a mission of revenge. There weren't supposed to be any survivors, but Chief Hakoda couldn't bring himself to kill the Fire Nation boy. Against his better judgment, he brought him home. A Zuko joins the Water Tribe story.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Aang, Sokka, Zuko, Katara - Chapters: 28 - Words: 224,540 - Reviews: 3,646 - Favs: 5,042 - Follows: 4,770 - Updated: Mar 20 - Published: Jul 22, 2008 - id: 4414541

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4414541/1/Another-Brother

Pros: Genuinely well written, intriguing exploration of a 'What if?' and lots and lots of world-buildy goodness.
Cons: Not enough of the things I really liked; damn plot getting in the way of that world-buildy goodness I like to read *mumble grumple grumple*

So, yeah, I'm the kind of weirdo who reads the flavor text on Magic the Gathering Cards for fun. Make of that what you will.
As far as this story goes, I've got almost nothing bad to say about it, other than it sometimes takes forever and a half++ to update, so, be aware.

WE'RE KEEPING THIS ONE.

 

[CV12Hornet]

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
This fucking thing.

I chose this:

Article:

Medicinal Lullaby
By: Shivakashi
ON HIATUS. Fighting to keep hope in his friend, struggling to come to terms with Jiraiya's death, Uzumaki Naruto doesn't need any more on his plate. Sadly, that's what lands on his doorstep. Literally. Post Manga ch. 406 Naruto-centric MaturING!Naruto
Rated: Fiction M - English - Family/Supernatural - Naruto U. - Chapters: 32 - Words: 259,473 - Reviews: 3,006 - Favs: 3,049 - Follows: 2,515 - Updated: Apr 1, 2010 - Published: Sep 1, 2008 - id: 4512691

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4512691/1/Medicinal-Lullaby

Pros: Technically proficient uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
Cons: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

Look, here's the thing. If you're going to use a baby as a plot device, make it a real goddamn baby. Single parents who aren't expecting to become single parents are not as easy to portray as you think they are.
My suspension of disbelief was broken early on, but I was seduced by reviews elsewhere. Stick to your guns, kids.

OUT! OUT, DAMNED SPOT!

Click to shrink...

See, my problem with this was that it basically tossed out everything interesting about Naruto the story itself in favor of rather boring slice of life shenanigans. Leaving aside the other flaws.

Well, they can't all be winners.

Article:

And Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting
By: pianomaestra
Kakashi was almost excited about having a genin team--right until he actually met them. Pure Eyeshield 21/Naruto crack. Slight Yamato/Sena.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Sena K., Takeru Y. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,969 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 380 - Follows: 353 - Updated: Jun 22, 2011 - Published: May 25, 2009 - id: 5087071

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5087071/1/And-Everybody-Was-Kung-Fu-Fighting

Not all crossovers are good. This one is okay, but BORING! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

OUT! OUT, DAMNED SPOT!

Click to shrink...

Naruto/Eyeshield 21? I've seen (and liked) some weird crossovers, but how does this- no. No, I don't want to know.

I don't have the patience to re-read the entire thing; I barely have the patience to remember to turn off the Capslock. Some things are worth missing, CV. Like the Anarchist Thanksgiving I have to go to tomorrow, where there will be a dumpster!Turkey and a spit-roasted Beaver because the anarchists wouldn't go bow-hunting and tried to use a trap but they caught a beaver and I DON'T WANT TO EAT DUMPSTER!TURKEY OR SPIT-ROASTED BEAVER, OKAY, I FEEL LIKE THOSE ARE REASONABLE THINGS FOR THANKSGIVING.
So. Y'know.
It's okay to miss out on bad opportunities. The world does not need another date-rape joke.

Click to shrink...

You misunderstand. I don't mean a date-rape joke in a story you're not keeping; lord knows I've discarded plenty of fics on the first chapter. I mean a date-rape joke in a story you're keeping based on the first chapter. That does happen sometimes.

I've mentioned before that I'm not hard to please.
This is one of the results of that truth.

Article:

The Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love
By: ranfan05
Ranma's 'brilliant' scheme to cure his curse backfires and now he and Ryoga are... married? How did this happen?
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Ranma, Ryoga - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,556 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 298 - Updated: May 27, 2011 - Published: Oct 22, 2009 - id: 5459771

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5459771/1/The-Shrine-and-Motel-of-the-Goddess-of-Love

Some stories, you read them once and forget about them. Some stories, you remember being funny.
This one made me laugh so hard as a teenager I choked on my own spit. Several times.

It's a keeper! Woo! Yeah!

Click to shrink...

Okay, this is going in the "Read Later" pile, because goddamn that looks hilarious.

 

[Catchandelier]

-and of these there are Bleach, Naruto, and One Piece; and the greatest of all is One Piece.

2007 was deep in the era of the Big Three. Naruto, we've discussed; One Piece is still in the future.
Let's talk about Bleach for a second.

Bleach is not good. Bleach is actually, genuinely bad. Part of that is consistency; One Piece and Naruto stayed fairly consistent, with One Piece's quality only wiggling around the Timeskip- which is normal- and Naruto's being all over the map, but steadily getting better after the Year of Sasuke. Bleach's quality was all over the map, with the Bount Arc being the worst of the lot, a sub-par dub, and committing the big sin of drawing out reaction shots which, while cost effective, is also boring as hell to watch for the fifteenth time.The lead up to the fight with Aizen was fun, there were bits and pieces of Hueco Mundo that I loved, and I loved the earlier parts a lot. The problem is I keep writing bits, parts, etc- there was no one whole arc that I loved to pieces, and there was no one storyline that I ever had to go back and reread/rewatch.
You can bet your perky ass I rewatch certain episodes and arcs of Naruto and One Piece.
Part of that Not Goodness was the fact that Kubo-sensei couldn't write a damn story that was entertaining and could be reasonably drawn out over several months of serialization. In fact, Bleach was nearly cancelled several times- during the Fullbringer arc, which should surprise no one.
Finally, and probably worst of all... well, reddit said it best, really.

"Of the many long running Jump based anime Bleach is a bit peculiar.
The anime started relatively early in Bleach's run and so had a lot of original stuff early on because otherwise it would run out of source material too soon... but the manga would then subsequently contradict the anime original. The anime eventually just ended with the manga still going.
Anyway, problems common to both are pacing and focus. In the beginning there was a core cast, interesting opponents, goals, and at a somewhat reasonable story speed. After a while (post-Soul Society?) it started getting less focused on the core cast and the pacing a lot slower... to the point where the manga was stuck in one in-manga day for at least a year worth of publication time.
The other problem is the overuse of negative space - the blank backgrounds of the setting is supposed to bring out more of the character, but it's so over-saturated with nothingness that it ruins the effect.
Effectively it has a lot of readers wanting it to be over and a fanbase left apathetic. The Big Three moniker is probably no longer appropriate."​

With all of that said, the place where Bleach fanfic shines is in character interaction.
This is one of the best gems of all the Bleach fanfics- as in, I only had to read the summary to immediately remember everything about this story, and most of the feelings that went with it.

Article:

Smoke and Flowers
By: DarthAmmonite
When fourthseat Nanao has to transfer to a new division, the Eighth is her last choice. Still, these things happen...somehow. She doesn't want to be there, and her new Captain's not quite sure she belongs there. Sake! Paranoia! Random art history!
Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Nanao I., Shunsui K. - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,893 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 364 - Updated: Nov 10, 2007 - Published: Jul 17, 2007 - id: 3662744

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3662744/1/Smoke-and-Flowers

Politics! Ichimaru Gin being a Creepy Bastard! Military shenanigans! Paperwork! Slow-burning Romance! Very Funny Jokes!
These are the things that feed the hungry frog-heart, fam!

Hell yes. Hell fucking yes.

 

[Catchandelier]

Kids, this is some of the best damn BDSM fic I've ever read, and there's nothing sexual about it at all.

Article:

After Care
By: Liralen Li
Kira is badly hurt, and goes to the 4th to find healing and some words for things he didn't even know had words. Hanatarou and his zanpakutou help him with both. Warning for blood and gore.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Hanatarō Y., I. Kira - Words: 2,640 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: Jun 1, 2008 - Status: Complete - id: 4293586

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4293586/1/After-Care

This story, among others, is why I cannot stand Fifty Shades of DO SOME GODDAMN RESEARCH ON THIS YOU SIMPERING FUCKWIT. This kind of thing is not a game, and it's not something you should get into without doing your research.

HELL. YES. HELL FUCKING YES.

 

[Catchandelier]

nO. NoNOnonO.

Nope.

Article:

A Confusing Shade of Pink
By: ExodineTheDestroyer
Yachiru finds herself alone and angry, bothered by the fact that no one will play with her. After accidently finding her, Hanataro begins feeling a sort of attachment towards her that he can't quite explain and is, in fact, afraid to do so.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Hanatarō Y., Yachiru K. - Words: 8,228 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 8 - Published: Sep 10, 2009 - Status: Complete - id: 5366399

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5366399/1/A-Confusing-Shade-of-Pink

NO LOLICON IN MY GODDAMN LIST. I DON'T CARE WHAT THE TECHNICALITIES OF THE SITUATION ARE, THIS SHIT DON'T HUNT.

OUT! OUT DAMNED SPOT.

 

[Catchandelier]

Right, if we don't hurry this up we'll never get anywhere.

Article:

Water is Thicker Than Blood
By: Scribbler
Aqualad understands the true meaning of the saying 'you can't go home again', though he has never explained why to his teammates. Atlantis holds nothing but sadness, regret and old ghosts for him, but now it's time for the truth to come out.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Drama - Aqualad, Speedy - Words: 11,496 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 8 - Published: May 22, 2009 - Status: Complete - id: 5079075

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5079075/1/Water-is-Thicker-Than-Blood

Article:

Ripples In The Water
By: Xia Rain
.:[ON HIATUS]:.He saved her, healed her, gave her a place to live. But what happens when she starts to fall in love with an ally of her sister? And can one boy really calm her spirit? [Blackfire x AquaLad]
Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Blackfire, Aqualad - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,573 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 19 - Updated: Apr 20, 2005 - Published: Sep 10, 2004 - id: 2052133

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2052133/1/Ripples-In-The-Water

Both of these are boring as shit; out they go!

NO, NO, NO, NO! NO TEENAGE BULLSHIT IN THIS HOUSE!

 

[Catchandelier]

This is one of the Original Sin HP fanfics that spawned a glut of similar, shittier, sub-copies. This one, being the OS, is significantly Better than the shittier sub-copies.
It also hasn't updated since 2010, which is all the reason I need to tentatively give it the boot keep it aboard.

Article:

Realizations
By: Wishweaver
Harry returns to Privet Drive after 4th year and finds it...empty! What do you do when you can't go to your friends for help? Additional Story Notes FYI: a. AU Summer before Fifth Year Fic, b. Not particularly fast paced.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Drama - Harry P. - Chapters: 36 - Words: 264,047 - Reviews: 8,797 - Favs: 11,972 - Follows: 9,138 - Updated: Nov 16, 2010 - Published: Mar 6, 2003 - id: 1260679

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1260679/1/Realizations

Good story, moves at a brisk pace without being confusing, compelling enough to keep going for all thirty six chapters before chewing on something in fury that there isn't more, dammit.

We live in hope.

 

[Catchandelier]

The early 2000's were a strange time. I don't think you guys really get how fucking old FF.Net is.
I still remember the old thingy that goes on the tab and has the little picture of the website, that thing- yeah, it didn't always look like that!
FF.Net is old as balls, guys.
This story is also old as balls.

Article:

Son Turned Daughter
By: Tangent
Not wanting to lie to the only friend he had in a very long time, Ranma tells Akane about his curse after their fist sparring session. From there on out, things just seem to snowball out in odd directions...
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,889 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 125 - Published: Jan 29, 2002 - id: 574084

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/574084/1/Son-Turned-Daughter

Two things, guys: First, Ranma is himself In Name Only. Secondly, misspelled and misused too many words for me to continue. Not actually a bad premise, or even a bad story, I just can't make myself read it.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO HELL; YOU JUST CAN'T STAY HERE.

 

[Catchandelier]

Luna Lovegood is a character it's very easy to be entertained by, and very difficult indeed to get all the nuances right about.
This fic comes damn close- with a bonus of Sirius Black!

Article:

Moony Lovegood
By: leradny
Whilst hiding out near Hogsmeade, Sirius has an encounter with a certain blonde girl.
Rated: Fiction K - English - Friendship - Sirius B., Luna L. - Words: 1,721 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: Nov 10, 2009 - Status: Complete - id: 5501981

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5501981/1/Moony-Lovegood

Now this is the kind of story I like to see- nothing much happens, really, but it's just enough to keep my interest and put a small smile in my slime-coated heartgut. It's short, and has a few technical errors and rough spots- but, it's light, and sweet, and if you've got ten minutes you need to burn through before you go do something, nothing could be better.

THE SNACK OF FICS; ONLY MILDLY SATISFYING, BUT IN ALL THE BEST WAYS.

 

[Catchandelier]

Article:

Malfoy's Asylum
By: sprite.isn't.lemonade
When Luna Lovegood is captured and sent to Malfoy Manor, Draco isn't pleased. But when Bellatrix goes a little too far while she is torturing the girl, Draco must intervene and prove that he is not so weak after all...
Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Draco M., Luna L. - Words: 7,361 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 12 - Published: Sep 18, 2009 - Status: Complete - id: 5384539

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5384539/1/Malfoy-s-Asylum

First Person is not easy to write. I would know, as it's the only form I can reliably write at all- and I'll tell you right now, it's not easy to write in at all. I tend to enjoy stories written in first person... and the fact I didn't enjoy this one just means I outgrew it. This story doesn't really have anything wrong with it, it just doesn't make my personal cut.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO HELL, YOU JUST CAN'T STAY HERE.

 

[Catchandelier]

Article:

Naruto and the Goblet of Fire
By: Reidluver
Unwillingly brought into a strange world, trying to hide your secrets, being there during a tournament that hasn't been held in over a century, and oh, having the most powerful wizard seeking you for your power. Simple? I think not.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Harry P., Naruto U. - Chapters: 23 - Words: 127,836 - Reviews: 1,590 - Favs: 1,884 - Follows: 1,026 - Updated: Jun 15, 2009 - Published: Aug 1, 2007 - Status: Complete - id: 3695067

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3695067/1/Naruto-and-the-Goblet-of-Fire

Original sin that begat new horrors on this earth.

BEGONE!

Article:

Cataclysm
By: WhyMustIWrite
Iruka returns from a mission unable to communicate or even be recognized by his fellow Konohans! He must get Team 7 to see him for who he really is and deliver his message to the Hokage, not to mention find a way out of his rather unusual circumstances.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,908 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 85 - Updated: Nov 16, 2009 - Published: Oct 1, 2009 - Status: Complete - id: 5413890

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5413890/1/Cataclysm

Funny story, just don't ccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare anymore.

BEGONE!

Article:

Stopping the Storm
By: chibi heishi
Life as an Academy instructor isn't easy, with civilians afraid of you, parents complaining to you and students or friends pulling dangerous 'pranks'... Oh yes, and ANBU running around trying to find the traitors who intend to let in an enemy army. Fun.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Iruka U. - Chapters: 15 - Words: 27,693 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 86 - Updated: Jan 12, 2009 - Published: Sep 14, 2008 - Status: Complete - id: 4538828

Source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4538828/1/Stopping-the-Storm

A damn fine story, in which some of the more interesting Fanon about Iruka gets explored, and we get a look into what real life as a ninja might come to look like. Damn fine story; I distinctly remember being thrilled to bits to read each new unfurling of the Mystery at the heart of this thing...

STAY A WHILE, FRIEND!