BensonQuest (RS/CN: VV)

OogahBoogah · Dec 29, 2023

You are Benson Dunwoody, and today is the first day of your new life. And right now, all that you can think of comes down to one simple question.

How did it ever come to this?

You stand in front of a mirror, straightening a tie onto your old dress suit for this momentous occasion. As you tighten it around your neck, you can't help but groan at how cheap the suit looks, which it is. They say that clothes make the man and, well, you couldn't deny that claim by your tacky appearance. You looked more ready for a job interview than a coronation(?) ceremony.

A snort escapes from your mouth, unable to contain the derision of being crowned 'King' of this land. It was bad enough to be surrounded on all sides by sociopathic dictators and vile gangsters that have carved out parts of the United States and Mexican border for their own kingdoms, but to be named ruler of a kingdom that only encompasses just parts of southern California? It was ridiculous to consider and even crazier to acknowledge as factual.

But things have never been the same for you since they were blasted off into space. Especially everything with… Pops… and his evil twin brother, Anti-Pops.

You closed your eyes, your mind taking you back to a place you dared not revisit for months; the day everything changed. Pops had snuck off with a cake he'd baked to settle things with his brother, thinking that the prophecy that foretold their epic final battle didn't have to end the way it did. The gang had chased after Pops, tracking him down to a space fun-zone a few sectors away, desperate to catch their friend in time from making a mistake.

But when they got there, the worst had come to pass…

"This way!"

You barked a command at the group, urging them to follow you through the bright and colorful arcade machines stacked together row after row. Dozens of alien races, some you recognized and others you didn't, didn't bother glancing at you, too busy caught up in their own fun. It made things easier for you and the others to maneuver your way past them, the severity of the situation sinking in on all of you. Not even Mordecai and Rigby glanced at any of the games you passed.

"How can you be sure that he's here? Or his jerk older brother for that matter?" Muscle Man asked, a tremor in his voice. You weren't sure if it was one of fear or anger towards Anti-Pops.

"Yeah! They could be gone, or…" Fives trailed off, looking paler than usual.

"Don't think like that," Mordecai snapped at them. "There's no way that Pops is dead. Me and Rigby saw what that creep Anti-Pops can do to people, and I don't see anything like that here."

"Yeah, usually, there's like a big empty space whenever Anti-Pops uses his powers," Rigby explained, shoving past a giant green blob alien. "He just waves his hands and poof! Person go bye-bye."

"I can't believe we let him get by us so easily," you groaned, pinching your brow in frustration. "We should've known he'd do something so… so…"

"Stupid?" Rigby asked, earning a punch to the shoulder from Mordecai. "Ow!"

"Reckless!" you snap at the raccoon, anger flaring up.

"Enough!" Skips roared, catching everyone's attention. He gestures to a side-hallway from afar with his thumb. "I asked a guy if he saw anyone that resembled Pops or Anti-Pops, and they said that two big-headed guys went down that hallway."

That got your attention, your head snapping to where Skips was pointing at. From there forward, things moved in a blur. You can remember shouting at the others to follow you, the gang following at your heels while you led the charge to rescue Pops. And you knew, deep down, that it was bound to be a rescue because no one who looked like the literal embodiment of Death, spoke like a demented demon that probably stalks you while sleeping, and called himself the antithesis to your friend is bound to be a good guy.

Pops believed in him, you think to yourself. So maybe things would turn out—

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

"POPS!!"

You ran faster than you ever had in your entire life, people like Muscle Man and Skips blitzing past you in an instant. Muscle Man was already screaming that strange war cry of his, while Skips began flexing his muscles. Mordecai, Rigby, and Fives kept at your speed, all three looking as pissed and terrified as you surely were.

Hold on, Pops, just hold on!

Muscle Man burst through the door at the end of the hallway… and came to an abrupt halt. Even from a distance, you could make out the look of horror on his face. And when Skips held that same expression, despair bloomed in your chest.

It was too late.

"Is… is he–?" Rigby whimpered, before a squeal escaped through breathless lungs at the towering dark figure that glided out of the room.

Despite the similarities with his large-sized head, everything else about Anti-Pops set himself apart from the one you all knew and loved. Especially that sneer on his face. Pops would never look that cruel.

"Where's Pops?!" Mordecai shouted, frozen in place like the rest of you, but the only one bold enough to speak.

Anti-Pops seemed to ignore the question, glancing at each and every one of you. His eyes–blank and white like an empty void–looked past the crude matter that made up your body, tore through the thoughts and feelings going through you right then and there, and ultimately found nothing worth judging by his apathetic expression.

Rage overtook your being, a crimson shade illuminating your frame. You take a few steps closer to the monster, jabbing a finger into his face while ignoring the cries of everyone around you.

"You sick freak! Where is he?! What have you done with POPS?! ANSWER ME!!"

Slowly, mechanically, the dark god lowered his gaze to meet yours… and smiled. With a flick of his hands, he revealed what he'd been concealing behind that stupid cape of his.

In his hands was a top hat. One you were all familiar with.

The floor felt as though it had dropped out from under you, and despair took root inside your heart. You'd prayed that it was all a trick, some sort of cruel ruse like other psychopaths had done in the past, but seeing that hat confirmed it.

With a wicked grin on his face, Anti-Pops leaned in close to you, holding the top hat up to you and wiping it from existence as he spoke.

"So sorry, but Pops won't be coming back. EVER. Don't worry, I'll make sure to send you fools off to JOIN HIM."

"BENSON, LOOK OUT!!"

Anti-Pops raised his hand, and everything went white.

You snap out of your memories, breathing heavily, leaning onto the counter for support. Black spots danced around in the corner of your eyes and you found it difficult to breathe. Lowering your head down to the cool oakwood dresser, you begin to quietly recite some techniques you'd picked up in the last half year that you use to fight off these attacks. It would take some time to regain proper mobility, but it was time you had to spend focusing on keeping yourself going. If you let yourself fall here, then what would be the point of it all?

"Get it together, Benson," you hiss. "C'mon, focus!"

It took some time, but the dizziness spell began to fade along with the black spots. Your hands and face felt clammy, which you wiped away with a nearby tissue. You'd grown used to these spells happening, and while they had decreased over months in therapy, you felt as though you were finally getting a handle on things. Granted it couldn't make the pain in your chest go away, nor could it take you back to a time before the space expedition.

Maybe going back out into space would help me with these attacks. Time's all weird up there, so who knows?

Despite the exodus into space lasting only a few months for you and the others, it actually lasted for years on Earth. Apparently time moves at different speeds in some parts of the galaxy; sometimes it went fast, sometimes it didn't. It was a bunch of scientific mumbo jumbo you weren't able to decipher from Maellard's scientists.

Returning to Earth should've been something to put you at ease, to wash away all the horrors you saw and experienced in-between the inky void of space. But instead, you came home to find a world gone to hell in a handbasket. One where the governments of each country seem to bend the knee and/or ignore the atrocities carried out by the crazy psychopaths that have propped themselves up as 'Kings' of their own slice of Earth.

You can't say that the situation is anything foreign to you either, though. The past six years (nine, by Earth's calendars) had been spent fighting against creeps like these guys that threatened the Park or attacked you in space. It was a miracle that your crew made it out of those crazy situations alive at all.

Well… almost all of us.

Maellard had explained the world's socio-political climate to you in excruciating detail, mainly because of his declining health at the time. Though there had been a lot of information to absorb, you know Maellard well enough for him to skim right through it in twenty words tops. But the loss of Pops, combined with the stress of managing a 'Kingdom', wore down heavily on the old man. Not even the best of modern medicine and science could've saved a man from total depression over the loss of one's child.

In his final days, once he had told you everything he knew and signed away the last of his personal belongings to you, the old man merely asked to be left alone in peace. He didn't feel like having company.

After his passing, you learned from his house servants that the old man spent his nights staring up at the stars, cradling a lone butterscotch lollipop tenderly as if it were a newborn baby. You made sure to secure their secrecy on the manner, wanting no word of Maellard's grief to leak out to public gossip news.

They got enough of that with me as it is. It won't be long now until the press stops by for an interview with President Dunwoody of Southern Cali. Wonder what Mom and Dad will think when they see me on the news… wonder what the families of the guys will think.

"Things were much easier back in space," you mutter to yourself. Immediately after saying that, though, you feel a wave of depression wash over you like a cold tidal wave. Granted it's nothing you're already used to feeling, but here in the Park House, you can't help but realize how quiet it was. It should never be this quiet.

With a heavy heart, you leave your office and head outside. It was a typically sunny day in Southern California, save for the smog haze blotting out the clouds above. The Park's greenery and chirping birds brought you a sense of ease that made your shoulders relax. Good, you needed some levity for this upcoming meeting.

With the rest of the guys missing in action, separated from you during the escape back to Earth, you were the only one to land back in the City after avoiding the giant space laser on the Moon. Skips, Muscle Man, Hi-Five Ghost, Eileen, even Mordecai & Rigby were lost in the confusion. Despite putting out multiple missing poster ads in the paper and even convincing Margaret to raise awareness on local cable, nothing had come from your efforts. Your workers, your friends, were gone. Maybe forever.

And with them gone, that meant that he had six vacant positions for park groundskeepers that needed filling stat. It was something you had put off for months, resulting in many areas of the Park falling into decay. The snack bar, the docks, the fountain, and the list goes on. Maellard nagged at you over it, but his heart wasn't in it. He understood your reasons behind it.

But with Maellard gone and the dynamics of the Park (and your life) soon to change, you realized that you needed to get that task done stat. So, you put out a job listing online and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd waited.

Until finally, one day, an email came through! Reading through his application was quite interesting, given how this guy apparently used to be some big video game designer years ago before switching to retail. It felt surreal to read but one you weren't willing to let go that easily.

So now, here you were, on your way to meet the new blood in something that you were familiar with.

It took a few minutes in the golf cart to drive up to the Park's entrance where a tall, lanky man dressed in his everyday clothes was awkwardly standing. The man caught you driving towards him and raised a hand in greeting, one you returned in kind.

Parking the cart, you step out and shake the man's hand. "Hey there, I'm Benson. The, ah… new owner of the Park now, I guess. It's something I'm still getting used to."

"Hey, man, no worries," you freeze up when hearing the man's voice. It sounded eerily similar to Mordecai. "You seem like a decent guy so I'd say that's a good starter. Oh shit, forgot to introduce myself. I'm Josh, Josh Singleton."

"Nice… to meet you, Josh," you slowly release his hand, trying to hide your shaken demeanor from him. Luckily, the guy didn't seem to notice, much to your relief.

"So, I gotta ask first. Why groundskeeping? Not that I'm trying to discourage you or anything, just curious."

"Oh! Well, uh," Josh scratches his head, looking a little embarrassed. "I do have a reason for applying for the job, but it really doesn't have anything to do with the job itself. More so in regards to a housing problem we're having."

You nod, having dealt with this sort of thing before in the past with the others and–

Wait.

We?

"Hold on," you narrow your eyes at Josh, suspicion rising. "Explain what you mean by we. 'Cause I only see one of you standing here right now, and don't try to say that they're invisible ghosts or something like that. Trust me, I have experience in working with one."

A look of guilt forms on Josh's face, his eyes glancing down to avoid yours.

"Well?" You can feel your face grow red, your gumballs slightly rattling in anger.

If this is some kind of agent from one of the other guys around me, I swear–

"My family," he finally blurts out, taking a step back in fear. Your anger leaves you at the man's frantic tone, surprise taking over. "We-we lost our apartment to some kind of gang war awhile back, and we've been living on the streets ever since then. Me, my wife and daughter, our housemates… we lost almost all of our stuff and some good friends of ours, so please, man, we're desperate for anything."

Any suspicions you had towards this Josh goes flying out the window the more you watch him babble on, his face conveying the desperation he speaks of. The closer you get a look at him, the more you realize how tired and stressed he seems; heavy bags under his eyes, hair greasy and presumably unwashed, and his clothes ratty with holes and… burn marks(?)... at certain edges. He starts to pull out his wallet and you raise a hand to stop him.

Your mind's already made up.

"Listen," you tell him slowly. "This job isn't one that normally calls for a family to live on the premises with the worker…"

A look of despair settles in on Josh's face.

"But the normal ways of the world are gone. We live in a world where supervillains and monsters rule countries, and the federal government is just a placeholder for them to handle the bureaucratic stuff… makes what I'm doing easier, but still, it's the principle that matters. Whatever expectations you had at what this job calls for before coming in don't apply that much here, save for the basics. What we're doing is something bigger, more dangerous."

You let out a breath, trying to calm your nerves as you speak aloud what you've been thinking and planning for months now. What Maellard had been preparing you for. What the others would no doubt be pestering you to do in this situation. Whether it'd be Mordecai and Rigby's constant bemoaning, Muscle Man trying to hook you up with some guys he knows, Skips offering a word of advice here and there, Fives… just waiting to do whatever you tell him.

And of course, a big-headed old man with a heart as pure as a child that believes in doing the right thing, even when the odds seem stacked against you. But you wouldn't let that slow you down, not for them.

Always look for the good in others, eh, Pops?

Josh blinks, confused and a little hopeful. "Wait… so does that mean–? You'll have us? My family and friends too?"

With a grin that you hadn't smiled in forever, you hold out your hand for Josh to shake. "I'm saying that you got the job. Welcome to the Park, Josh, we're happy to have you and your family here."

"AWWWW, YEAAAAH!!"

Josh returns your handshake with a fist bump, too over ecstatic to notice your discomfort at how familiar his antics are to you. Not the first time during this conversation, you wonder if the Gods decided to give you a boon to relieve you of your malaise. But you can't stop the small smile on your face from forming as he pulls out his phone to let his family know that he got the job.

As he speaks, your eyes wander across the land to three statues in the distance, recently built to honor the fallen and those that have yet to find their way back home.

One of Maellard, the old miser, proudly propped up in a stance with his cane and a satisfied smile on his face. A man who had lived and died surrounded by wealth, and it showed with the statue's design.

The other made your eyes sting with tears, a harsh breath rattling out of your mouth. Pops, a smile on his face and a butterfly net in one hand, seemed to bring life to the Park despite its current state. Even though you can't see it, you can recite the plaque enacted at the foot of the statue for him.

He Chased Butterflies.
He Loved To Laugh.
He Saw Kindness In Everyone.
He Was Our Friend.

Pops Maellard

And the last one…

It was the largest of the three, one you had commissioned after Maellard had died out of fear of how he'd respond. You're sure he would've put up a fight against it, but you couldn't care less. This was something you needed, a reminder of why you had to keep fighting.

Sandwiched in between the Maellards was a statue of the crew that had blasted off into space to protect Pops. The same crew that had worked at the Park and kept it in one piece for six years before the S.P.A.R.K. Initiative was enacted. They were decked out in their space rangers garb, giving them a heroic look than they weren't really accustomed to.

Skips towered over the others, just as he did in life. On his left was Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost, with Fives built being perched onto Muscle Man's shoulder. On Skips' right, though she wasn't a worker, Eileen proved her worth and was one of the guys which he made sure to convey with her placement on the statue. And in the middle of it all, just like in real life, Mordecai and Rigby stood inseparable. Like with Pops, a small plague was enacted at the bottom of the statue.

In Memoriam To The Bravest Crew To Work The Park
They Boldly Went Where No Park Worker Had Gone Before
They Moved Heaven And Hell For Us
They Were Family

The S.P.A.R.K. Rangers

You remind yourself that this is what you're fighting for. What you're willing to risk in order to restore some semblance of normality back to the City. The people who had an impact on your life and who you would fight to honor for.

I promise… I won't let you guys down again.

"WOOOOAAAAAH!!"

Your breath hitches and you swerve around fast enough to almost give your neck whiplash, staring bug-eyed at Josh replicating something you thought you'd never hear, let alone see again. But it's enough to make you more confident in your decision with hiring him.

"It's only a setback, guys, just you wait," you mutter, walking back over to Josh.

"I'll find you. Just wait a little longer for me."

Where Will You Place Josh's Family and Friends At The Park?

The Park House – Once, it used to belong to Pops when he was alive but now with your friend gone, its walls are empty and lifeless. Perhaps by allowing these people to reside here, they could make things feel normal again.
Skips' Garage – The home of your close friend looks fine outside, but the mountains of boxes inside the garage is what you struggle to deal with. Especially given Skips' tendency to keep them away from the Park gang. Maybe they can do some spring cleaning to sort out what's inside there.
Muscle Man's Trailer – Yeaaaaaah, there isn't any sugar-coating here; this place is a dump. But if cleaned up, it could be turned into a home that they could move around anywhere within the Park's radius.

Hours later, you tugged at your collar while standing behind a podium in the middle of the park. Surrounding the stage you're on are dozens of reporters, some local and others national, as you note several newsvans bearing the marks of other Kingdoms. You tighten your lips at the sight of the reporters, but say nothing. There was no need to cause a scene without good reason.

Keep your lid on, Benson. It's just a press conference, you've been in plenty of these before… in the back. Hidden behind the curtains. Annnnnnd far, far away from the spotlight.

Yeah, this was going to suck.

Your eyes then lock onto a pair that you were familiar with. Composing herself with a professionalism that would make her dad cry in pride, Margaret Smith looked well-suited for this interview with her business suit and a stoic look on her face. She wouldn't be holding back her punches, despite their friendship in the past. Truthfully, you appreciate seeing that, knowing that having some kind of friendly face to hold an unbiased view of things would make questions go by smoother.

Clearing your throat, you tap on the microphone and speak into it. "Excuse me? May I have your attention please?"

The quiet chatter between reporters abruptly stopped, all eyes falling onto you. You tense up at having dozens upon dozens of eyes focused onto you, some already writing their own thoughts in their notepads.

"Uh… thank you," you said, drumming your fingers on the podium's side. "My name is Benson, Benson Dunwoody. Though you all probably know that by now, hehe…"

Your joke died on arrival, judging by the unamused looks on several people's faces.

Sweat poured down your brow. "Ah, I… I've been deemed heir to all of Mr. Maellard's properties and operations, including the Kingdom of… 'The City'," you mentally groan at Maellard's half-assed moniker for the Southern California territories he owned. "So until things go back to how they were before, I guess I'm King now."

Some pictures were snapped of you and more people scribbled in their notepads, more fervently this time.

"Soooo… if you guys have any questions to ask me, then–"

All at once, the crowd exploded into a flurry of noise, each person trying to shout over the other to vye for your attention. You can't help but admit that the sight was overwhelming. All your life, you fought to try and get people–mainly your workers–to take notice and give you the respect that you deserved, but right now, you silently wished to go back to those days.

C'mon, Benson, think! How can you calm things down before they get more out of hand?!

Your eyes dart around the crowd, while your mouth made strange groaning noises. You felt out of your depth until you met Margaret's eyes again, and saw her mouthing words.

"Yes, you!" you exclaim, pointing at Margaret. At your gesture, the crowd's volume died down and turned their attention to Margaret. The young reporter, for her part, looked remarkably composed after having attention turned to her.

"Thank you," she pointedly said. "Mr. Dunwoody, I represent the news station that the people of this city tune in to every day to keep up to date on what's going on around them. Both the good and the bad. We've seen a lot of things affect our City in the past several years, some more devastating than others, but we always manage to come out stronger than before and united behind a belief that things will get better. That tomorrow will give us a new day to look forward to."

She rose to her feet, her eyes not leaving yours for a second. You can make out the pain and tiredness behind that composure, the same loss that you've dealt with since returning to Earth. No doubt she missed her close friends as much as you did. And yet, you feel as though it was because of those friends that she garnered the strength to come out here today to speak to you. Just as you had the energy to come out and host this announcement.

"What I'm trying to ask you, Mr. Dunwoody, is… what kind of leader are you shaping up to be? We've seen cruel men and women carve pieces of our country away to rule like their own fiefdoms, and we've heard stories about the terrible things that go on behind their borders. The people deserve to know: Who is President Benson? And is he someone that they can trust?"

What Type of King is Benson?

In his last days, Mr. Maellard taught you the importance of keeping up a stoic figure, one who would not bow to any competition that you'd meet. You may be tough, but you are fair. So long as the people are willing to play ball with you, you will treat them with the same amount of courtesy that they offer to you.
You've spent years working as a park manager and realize that running a kingdom is similar to it. You know how having good communication and dedicated workers to help out is crucial in seeing the best performance in your projects, so by giving that same aura to The City, you are eager to see the results from it.
You know that your anger has moved obstacles in your path before, and by doing so here, you can expect the same thing as well. So what if you're surrounded by crazy dictators on all sides? That doesn't mean you're about to roll out the red carpet for them and let yourself be trampled. No, sometimes you need to know when to take a stand and make yourself known.
Write-In

Welcome… to BensonQuest!

For those of you new to the concept of a Quest (trust me, you're not alone in this, lol) or curious about the setting of this project, allow me to elaborate: BensonQuest is a story based around the Crusader Kings II game mechanics–barring some modifications to assist me with certain aspects of the story–in which you control your own territory and must contest with other neighboring countries in whatever type of conflict you wish to wage on them. Whether it'd be subterfuge or all-out war, you must decide what course of action you're taking for the people you rule over.

As for the setting, well, you've entered the world of Cartoon Network. But not the one you may be familiar with. No, no, this is the world of Cruel Network! A spin-off of the famous Disney: Villains Victorious where the name describes to you the type of world you currently occupy.

Here, the villains of various Cartoon Network shows (and some Adult Swim programs & a few Warner Bros properties) have won against their respective heroes, taking a part of the Earth for themselves and ruling over it in some form of manner. Above all else, one thing cannot be denied: this is a world without heroes, and it's up to someone to fix that. Against a plethora of mad scientists and crazed psychopaths, of power-hungry Supervillains and strange monsters that lurk in the shadows, you find yourself playing as the character 'Benson' from Regular Show.

Here, as you've read above, this version of RS saw its point of divergence with the gang being unable to rescue Pops in time from his evil twin brother, Anti-Pops, in the episode "Kill 'em With Kindness". Since then, the gang returned to Earth while fleeing AP, only to be shot down and separated upon entry (something we will explore later in flashbacks as to how that happened), with the only one making it back to The City being Benson himself. Alone without his crew and given a responsibility he wasn't expecting for a guy like him, it's up to you, the voters, to decide how Benson can contest in this new world for better or for worse.

In a world where evil reigns supreme and hope is lost, is one regular man enough to stem off the wave of darkness that consumes the land? Or will he fall victim to it like so many others before him.

Special shout-out to the creators of Cruel Network for creating this scenario for people to explore! Down below is the link to their Google Drive with information about the game, but know that not everything you read there will be as it is here. I've taken some… creative liberties… with the kingdoms that currently make up the United States and its neighbor countries.

OogahBoogah · Dec 29, 2023

VOTING POLL CLOSES IN TWELVE HOURS.

YOU CAN START VOTING NOW FOR BOTH BENSON AND JOSH'S FAMILY. THE TIME LIMIT FOR BOTH CAN LAST UNTIL THE TWELVE HOUR MARK IS UP.

OogahBoogah · Dec 29, 2023

Below is a link to the map of BensonQuest, which shows the territories of the kings/rulers that make up the Western Hemisphere. From regular schmucks like Benson, super-geniuses like Mandark, supervillains like Father, and so forth. This is a dangerous world you're entering, so beware of your neighbors.

BensonQuest: Kingdoms in the Americas

OogahBoogah · Dec 31, 2023

You tighten your grip on the podium at Margaret's words, iron determination filling your belly like a nice batch of wings. The people wanted to know what kind of man they had leading them? Someone that was different from all the creeps that flood the news every day with some new cruelty they dish out to their citizens? Well, you'd be happy to show them (his people, and those ruler jerks!) just who Benson Dunwoody is.

"Who am I? Who am I?" you repeat the question Margaret asked slowly, emphasizing each word with a low intensity. The crowd shifted in place, some out of curiosity, others more warily. Margaret was the only one who didn't flinch. Good, then she probably knows what's about to come.

"I'm the guy who spent nine. Months. Up in space! And came back to find his home planet overrun with all sorts of wackos that think they can claim a piece of land for themselves like it's the Wild West out here! They think that this is how it's gonna go that way, like it has for the past three years for them? Uh-uh, not happening. I may be the little fish in a big ocean, but guess what?"

You slam your fist on the podium, startling many people. Your face is red with anger and your tone takes on a darker edge to it.

"Who gives a damn how small we are?! I've dealt with everything thrown my way for the past few years that normal people like you guys couldn't possibly face! I've fought giant monsters, a horde of psychos and weirdoes that came back from the dead once, travelled through time, AND dealt with all of this while still managing a park! If that couldn't stop me then, what makes you think I'm gonna quit now when I'm handed a bigger job position to handle?"

Silence. Many people are gaping at you openly, those from other countries you note. You make sure to give them your best 'stern, pissed-off bossman' glare which made them shiver under the force of it. Good, you think with no small dose of satisfaction. Hopefully their bosses will start feeling the same way when they see this later.

"I've come a long way from my days as a worker at this Park," you continue on, your anger slowly subsiding and turning into something more... controlled. Calculating, Maellard once told you in your training sessions. A good boss always need to show that you won't take stuff lying down, but a great boss is someone who knows how to deal with people under the right circumstances. The situation isn't like anything you've handled before, despite your words. But that's not going to stop you now.

I didn't escape a reality-destroying dark god to give up here.

"...and in that time, I've learned that you can't always be the better man in tough situations. Sometimes you need to buckle down and remind everyone why it's you that got put in charge of leading people, why it falls onto you to decide what's gonna happen to people at the end of the day? Are they gonna get fired for all the dumb antics and pranks they've done on that one, singular day? Or will you keep them on for tomorrow when you see the hard work they put into keeping things in-line around here?"

Absolutely everyone seemed lost by your words, trying to decern when this changed from a tirade against the other rulers to talking about standards for a job. Almost everyone, save one, whose eyes shone with unshed tears that she blinked away to avoid the painful memories.

You let out a deep breath, looking honestly at the crowd out before you. To the hundreds of thousands, of the millions of people watching this broadcast right now. People who have been scared of what tomorrow holds for so long, and if the next day would be their last. A feeling you're all too familiar with.

"I know that times are rough now and the world has changed. A lot can happen in three years, trust me, I know. But you don't have to be scared of what tomorrow holds anymore. If you can trust in me, and I in you, then I promise... great things can happen. We can fix our City back to how it used to be and make it into something we hard-working men and women can call home again.

"This isn't the end of the world. It's only the start to something new that I will get you through. I promise."

You lean back, falling silent and letting those words hang in the air for a few moments. Once that moment passed, the crowd erupted into a flurry of questions, asking you about how you would handle this legal matter or what your thoughts on this ruler is, and so on.

But you weren't paying attention to them. Your focus was on the reporter who asked you that question, the same one who was the only one now sitting now. On her face was a small smile, one you're sure she hadn't on her face for a long time. That smile mattered more to you than the frenzied shouts of the reporters vying for your attention now.

The hours following your big speech at the press conference (one you totally swear didn't make up on the spot, no siree!) was tiring on your health, given the amount of vultures--you mean, correcting yourself with a slight couth, reporters... that harassed you long after the conference had ended at pretty much every setting you could think of. Even in your private places...

You kinda regret knocking that reporter out cold, but then again, you shouldn't try to interview a guy while he's on the john. That's just improper conduct.

Still, this last task you had set yourself up for the evening would be a nice way to cap off the events of today.

You watched as a small red minivan pulled up to the House, another black car following close behind. Once they parked in front of the House, you stepped down the porch to greet the newcomers, bidding hello to Josh with a smile on your face.

"Hey, man!" Josh called out, waving at you. "Saw your speech on TV earlier today. You really had a helluva way with words, you know that?"

"Oh, uh, thank you," you chuckle sheepishly, taken aback by the praise.

"Careful, Josh," a woman with brunette hair done up in a ponytail stepped next to Josh, taking hold of his hand. His wife, then. Which makes the little girl staring up at the house in awe their daughter based on how similar she looked to the wife.

"It's not even your first day and you're making your boss blush. Keep that up and I may have to fight him off from taking you from me."

"I assure you, miss, that isn't likely," you step forward, offering a hand to shake which she returned. "I'm not much of a home-wrecker to do that. Besides, I know the dangers of a woman scorned, believe me."

"Why's that?" the little girl asked.

"Hm? What'd you say, sweetie?" you bent down on your knees to get on eye-level with the kid.

"You look like you haven't spoken to a woman in years, so how would you know what they're like when scabbed?"

"Candice!!" Josh and his wife exclaimed, both horrified.

"Easy now, Candice," you found the embarrassment of being roasted by a five-year-old dulled by some... smelly hobo throwing his arm around your shoulders. "This is our new President you're talking to here. A man like him is bound to have bagged hundreds, no, thousands of women in bed with his unbound sexual charisma! I mean, just look at those gumballs!"

...

"God, you really are down bad for a gumball machine, aren't you?" an Asian woman snarked, caught between glaring at the smelly hobo and taking selfies of herself.

As the hobo sputtered in disbelief, you detangled from his grasp and quietly asked Josh for names. Between profuse apologies for his daughter's comment (which you admit hit harder than a punch from Skips), you learned the names of the people Josh brought with him; his wife, Emily; his daughter, Candice; and their housemates, Alex and Bridgette. From Josh's application, they used to live in the Los Angeles area before the rampant gang wars and metahuman attacks across the state eventually swept through and devastated the neighborhood they lived in.

"We almost lost everything back then," he quietly admitted, glancing at his family and friends. "Almost died when shit went down. Randy, Pearle..." you're unfamiliar with the names, but the look in his eyes say it all to what their statuses are.

"I understand," you say, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry to hear that for you and your family."

"Thanks," Josh smiled weakly at you. "It's... been a tough time, trying to make things work since then, but I was lucky to find your job listing ad in the paper. If I didn't, well..."

"Don't worry. And don't think about that anymore, you guys are free to stay here for as long as you want... so long as you do your job and anything else I may need your help with. Sound fair?"

"Absolutely!" Josh exclaimed, grinning widely. "Whatever you want me to do, just say the word and I'll have it done in no time. Like it never even needed done to begin with! ...wait, does that make sense?"

You quietly laugh. "It did, don't worry. Any of them," you gesture to Josh's family. "In need of a job or...?"

"Nah, Emily and Alex still have their jobs. Em's a grocery store clerk and Alex works at some local college for... viking history? I think?"

"I see. And the other girl?"

"Bridgette's... a social influencer? Whatever that is."

You fight to keep the groan building in your lungs. Great. A freeloader, just wonderful. Although, you muse to yourself, maybe you could use Bridgette's social media clout to bring business back to the Park...

Questions for later. Right now, Benson, time to focus on getting these people unloaded and acquainted with their new digs.

With your help, it didn't take long to get Josh and his family unpacked inside the House, showing them around and where'd they be staying at. Josh and Candice were to take Mordecai and Rigby's old room, one you had worked tirelessly on to clean out the strange stank that permeated around Rigby's corner of the room, with using Mordecai's old bed as a place to sleep on.

Candice was given the small room across the bathroom, fitting for a small child. What surprised you most of all was how she seemed to enjoy sleeping on Rigby's weird mat and declared it to be her new bed. Josh and Emily tried to bargain for Candice to reconsider, but the kid remained adamant and threatened to scream her lungs out until you nipped that in the bug by telling Josh that it was now his house duty to keep Candice's mat cleaned for her. The father looked confused, but accepting.

Alex pretty much crashed on the couch the moment you showed everyone inside the House, calling dibs on the 'sweet couch and TV set with it', as he so eloquently put it. The man didn't even have the decency to kick off his shoes when propping his feet up on the couch cushions.

Bridgette got pissed off at her placement in the house, that being in the attic. You actively refused to let anyone take Pops' old room and there was no other place that you could think of that didn't involve sticking her in one of the other housing units in the Park. While not a bad idea, you held it off in favor of giving Skips' old garage or Muscle Man's trailer for any future workers that you might employ to help out at the Park. You were generous enough to have things already set up for her; a bed, a single desk drawer with a lamp, even an old TV set you fished out of storage. She still felt slighted by this move, vowing to 'cancel you online' or whatever that meant.

You sigh as you enter your office, rubbing your head to nurse the growing migraine coming on. Josh would be starting his first day tomorrow and you still had to figure out what to do with him. Not even mentioning the piles upon piles of paperwork and forms submitted to your office that you had to review regarding layer after layer of red tape. Even just glancing at it makes you frown in distaste, but it's a job you signed on to do, one that you plan on carrying out with all the strength in your body.

C'mon, Benson, this stuff isn't going to get done by sitting around doing nothing. Even if you want to.

NATIONAL ACTIONS

Choose one from each category box down below.

[ ] Taking Out The Trash
DC 50
It's been a long time since you've gone outside the Park since your return to Earth, but the stories you hear about the City's streets are not great. Gang war is at an all-time high across the City, with entire neighborhoods and blocks claimed as turf by a respective gang. The people live in fear of the war taking everything from them, just like with Josh's family. No more, it's time to make this City a safe place again and show these gangs who the boss around here really is.

REWARD: Criminal activity in The City dramatically decreased. Reputation among civilians dramatically increases. Unlocks ???

[ ] Pumped Up!
DC 35
You're not weak, per say, buuuuut you could do to gain a few pounds of muscle to your frame. Besides the perks of attracting the ladies with them, you figured that establishing a proper workout regime might get you into fit shape to hold your own against some of these super-criminals or metahumans terrorizing the land. Plus, chicks dig muscles... right?

REWARD: +5 to Martial status.

[ ] Old Wounds
DC 70
Even with Maellard's privately-funded (and questionably legal) army of security guards helping out, it's not enough to cover an entire region. Luckily, you remember that you're not the only park around. For years, Gene and his goons at East Pines has been a rival that mocked and ridiculed you and your crew as being below them. But since your return, you haven't heard as much as a whisper from East Pines. Maybe now might be as good time as any to find out what's going on and patch things up for the greater good.

REWARD: Discovery of East Pines' current state. ???

[ ] Disaster Relief
DC 60

The City is in desperate need of repair. Luckily for you, you have Maellard's deep vaults of wealth to donate to the City Council for repairs across city zones. The longer the City goes without aid, the more decrepit and hazardous these areas will grow.

REWARD: City infrastructure repaired. Establishing good relations with local government officials. +2 to Benson's Diplomacy status.

[ ] Green Thumb
DC 120
As much as you love The Park, you can't deny that it's fallen on hard times. The lack of a groundskeeping crew to keep the land tended has led to many areas becoming unkept and a safety hazard in some peculiar areas. The days of damages being restored in a week's time are gone. It's time to roll up your sleeves and get dirty.

REWARD: The Park is restored to its original setting and gains a lot more business with the locals. Increase in income. ???

[ ] King of the Wings
DC 80
Wing Kingdom. A place to the highs, lows, and woes of your life. It is also a big business chain scattered across the country, located even in the most hellish of kingdoms because of its popularity. Seriously, their wings are that good. Maybe taking an interest in them could lead to a big business venture?

REWARD: Wing Kingdom is now an extension of your territory. Free unlimited access to all chicken wings from any Wing Kingdom chain nationwide. +5 to Benson's Stewardship status.

[ ] (Un)friendly Neighbors
DC 40
You know about the Kings of the world and the land they rule over. Or rather, you know about what they are, not who they are. Despite your claim about them earlier, you really have no idea who any of these guys are or what exactly they do. Perhaps checking in on Maellard's private notes would do well to keep you informed about them.

REWARD: Benson gains greater insight to a certain number of Kings, dependent on roll. +5 knowledge on any future King you do business/instigate conflict with.

[ ] Getting The Band Back Together
DC 450
You were separated from your friends upon your return to Earth. Mordecai and Rigby were shot down in their own fliers; Muscle Man, Fives, and Eileen disappeared in separate space carts amidst a wave of lasers; and Skips lost grip on the dome while trying to repair damages to the outer shell somewhere in the stratosphere. Every day without them weighs heavy on your conscious. You can't delay any longer, you need to find your crew again.
REWARD: ???

[ ] Chop Shop
DC 240
The Park is more than just a park. It's home, a part of you that will never go away, no matter how much time passes. It's also a giant spaceship but one in need of repair. You've done your fair share of fixing areas of the ship while in space, so how hard can rebuilding it from scratch be?

Reward: The Park becomes a mobile fortress. Able to be called upon for future attacks. ??? knowledge to Learning status.

[ ] Those Wonderful Toys
DC 100
Your trip in space yielded a lot of results, both good and bad. The bad might outweigh the good, but you can't deny that you brought back some high-tech weaponry and gadgets that could be turned into something mainstream for your guys. Time to let the science department play around with it... better have good insurance for property damage.

Reward: Space Ranger weapons and vehicles become commonplace for all Units in your Kingdom. +5 to Martial skill for any combat round with your units.

PERSONAL ACTIONS

For this category, you may choose 4 actions for Benson to take on in this Turn. Or dedicate 2 Personal Actions for 1 National Action above.
Hero Units (in this case, Josh) may only take 1 personal action or you can assign him to a specific action.

[ ] Anger Management
Yeaaaaah, this one isn't subtle. You've got anger issues. Bad ones at that. Despite your anger being a powerful source behind your motivations, you can't deny that the tiniest of things are able to set you off. So far, it's been fine but with certain aspects (coughcouch-Bridgette-coughcough) being thrown into your life, your stress levels are bound to go up. Some counseling and anger management sessions could improve that, though.

[ ] Hold Job Interviews
Even with Josh's recruitment, you're down five guys on your crew for the Park. And on your desk is a list of applicants for the job, so let's see what you got.

[ ] Check In On Your Family
When you left Earth, things with your family were tense but stable after a talk with your Dad. After three years, how does the Dunwoody household look now?

[ ] See What Shows Are On Now
You got to have something on in the background while working on these papers, so why not check out what new shows are on the air waves? So long as it isn't another Carter and Briggs rerun, you'll take anything.

[ ] Go to Wing Kingdom
You're overworked and in need of a break. Take a load off with some delicious, edible wings...

[ ] Look for Pam
Before getting blasted off into space, you had a date with the most wonderful woman in the world: Pam! The one woman in your life you could finally click with, cruelly ripped away from you the moment you had a chance. With some semblance of normality setting in for you, maybe it was time to check out where she was at.

[ ] Take Your Family Out
You finally got a stable place to stay at. Why not celebrate with your wife and daughter by taking them out for a night on the town? (Oh, and Alex and Bridgette if they're not too busy.)

[ ] Do Your Job
New job, new responsibilities. Mr. Benson has been generous to you so far with the accommodations with your family, so repay him by fixing up the place he loves most.

Mortarium will last for twelve hours.

OogahBoogah · Jan 1, 2024

NOTE: Before we continue, please discount the rolls I made above with things you'll see down below. I tried to figure out the dice rolling system for SV, got annoyed by it, and decided to do it on my own by using DiceParser on Discord to help me out.

OogahBoogah · Jan 1, 2024

[X] Plan: Pumping Iron and Revving up the Fryers
-[X] (Martial) Pumped Up!
-[X] (Diplomacy) Disaster Relief
-[X] (Stewardship) King of the Wings
-[X] (Intrigue) (Un)friendly Neighbors
-[X] (Learning) Those Wonderful Toys
-[X] (Benson) Anger Management
-[X] (Benson) Hold Job Interviews
-[X] (Benson) Check In On Your Family
-[X] (Benson) Look for Pam
-[X] (Josh) Do Your Job

NATIONAL ACTIONS

Pumped Up!
DC 60
98+20=118
EXTREME CRITICAL SUCCESS!

On one of your very, very few day-offs, you decided to hit the local gym and see if you could get around to improving your physique. You've been in plenty of brawls and even some wars before, but between Maellard's teachings and your depression returning to Earth, your physical and mental health started to let itself go dramatically. So one day, you walked into a gym and came back out with a two-month training regimen established. It took a lot of hard work, sweat, blood, and tears (lots of them) but you finally hit a physique that you never dreamed of having on your bod. Even some of the ladies are beginning to turn their heads your way!

This calls for a celebration. What's one cheat day at Death Kwon Do gonna do to you?

REWARD: +7 to Benson's Martial status (added +2 due to rolls). +2 to Benson's Social status, due to improved physical appearance.
TO BE CONTINUED IN: X Kwon Give It To Ya!

Disaster Relief
DC 60
46+16+10 (Access to Maellard's funds)=72
Success!
Getting access to Maellard's private accounts was easy enough, given that he left everything to you in the will. Sitting down to discuss with the City's councilors what to focus on and how much it would cost was much tougher. Turns out that for all his status as King, Maellard didn't do much for the people, leaving them to fend for themselves while watching the chaos from his heavily-defended mansion. With the rise in supervillainy and meta-human attacks, it paved way for all the strange and unorthodox gangs to carve up parts of the City for themselves in an all-out gang war. From what you've heard from Josh and his crew, entire neighborhoods have been destroyed and people are left to fend for themselves on the streets.

No more, you tell yourself. This crap ends now. You marched into city hall and sat down with those that run the day-to-day operations of the City, giving them your full permission and support to do whatever needs to be done in fixing up their homes. They were, of course, wary of you until you handed them the check to pay for whatever they needed; workers, infrastructure, insurance, etc. One of them fainted at the number of zeroes on the check.

Stunned by your generosity, they asked you what to focus on first. Your response was simple but brokered no argument: "Everything."

Work began right away.

REWARD: City infrastructure has begun repair and will be finished within two months (one turn). Good relations with local government officials has been established and you will be kept in the loop to any activities that go on inside the City. +2 to Benson's Diplomacy status.
COST: -5 to Benson's Income.

King of the Wings
DC 80
90+20-25 (Benson's Wing Addiction)=85
Bare Success!

Your advisors have been advocating you to find other ways to secure your finances, following the hefty donations you've given to the City. After long, tedious hours of boring meetings, you stepped out for a light lunch and while devouring your small, yummy, delectable chicken wings, you were suddenly struck with inspiration towards your next investment: Wing Kingdom!

Those old coots doubted your genius, but you didn't care. This would prove to be a goldmine in the making, just they wait and see! So, you got into contact with the CEO of Wing Kingdom and set up a meeting to sit down and discuss their future at the restaurant within the City's limits. After two months of negotiations, plenty of shouting on both sides, and barely holding back your urge to devour all the wings in sight, you sealed the deal with the CEO and made the announcement not long afterwards. Soon, all of the country will hear the word of your purchase of Wing Kingdom.

REWARD: Wing Kingdom is now an extension of your territory. Free unlimited access to all chicken wings from any Wing Kingdom chain nationwide. +5 to Benson's Stewardship status.
COST: Some Kings don't take kindly to you intruding on their turf...
TO BE CONTINUED IN: Progress Report

(Un)friendly Neighbors
DC 40
58+10 = 68
Extreme Success!

TO BE CONTINUED IN: Keep Your Enemies Close...

Those Wonderful Toys
DC 100
73+12=85
85/100

Your scientists have reported that progress with the Space Ranger technology is moving along swimmingly! They've managed to replicate the zero-g machinery that's able to operate the space carts and are making great strides in developing replicates of the space blasters that came along with your park reserves. While they aren't fully operable yet, your scientists are confident enough to have the secrets of this technology cracked and ready for mass-production within a few months.

PERSONAL ACTIONS

BENSON
Anger Management
56/250
Despite using your anger as a motivations source behind your actions, you know that you need to keep it under control. This new line of business will test your limits and it won't be long before you find yourself overwhelmed by the stresses that comes with the job. So you looked around and found some anger management tapes that you can use to calm you down whenever you feel too stressed... provided that the situation isn't that bad. You might want to look into a therapist for your future.

Hold Job Interviews
TO BE CONTINUED IN: Interview #1

Check In On Your Family
54

You looked into your family, hopeful and scared of what you'll find. Of what you won't. Luckily, you managed to find your folks still living in your old childhood home and paid a visit to them in-between the months of business meetings, public announcements, research in other ventures, etc. Mom seemed to be okay, if a little jittery from your new position of power. Dad still remained the same loud-mouthed man as per usual, but that didn't seem to stop him from talking to you. You quietly thank Rigby for his advice in setting the record straight with your dad years ago. And while your relationship isn't... repaired... that didn't stop you from making sure they were cared for, quietly funneling them a few thousand dollars to keep things afloat for them. Dad seemed pissed by 'the handout', but Mom merely hugged you tight, thanking you profusely.

Wasn't anything special, but you didn't leave with any angry words behind you. A step up from your usual visits.

COST: -1 Income. Worth it, though.

Look For Pam
82

TO BE CONTINUED IN: Keep Your Enemies Close...

JOSH
Do Your Job
92
92/200

You weren't sure what to expect from Josh when you hired him. Really, it was more out of pity for the guy's living situation that you brought him into the fold, but you can't deny that you made a good decision hiring him! In the span of two months, he's fixed up places like the snack bar back to how it used to be, cleaned out the trash cans and litter scattered across the Park, and even managed to get the disco palace operable again. Josh is always tired when he comes home after a hard day's work, but you make sure to tell him that he's doing a damn job. The smile on his face makes you feel good about this.

REWARD: Almost 1/2 of the Park is cleaned and restored. Josh is tired, but capable of working at this rate for another two turns before burnout hits.

RANDOM ACTION

[62]

Your speech at your inauguration has inspired others...

OogahBoogah · Jan 1, 2024

These are the current stats you have for Benson and any Hero Unit working alongside him. Josh's family could become Units, but that depends on time and interactions with them.

Martial Skill: 27 (You are positively ripped now, having established a training regimen that keeps you in peak physical shape for a man your age. You've seen plenty of conflicts from your time as park manager, who knows what awaits you as President?)
Diplomacy Skill: 18 (You have a way of getting groups of people to work together in situations with a tight time-table. Whether through shouting or basic communications, you are a man to get others moving.)
Stewardship Skill: 25 (Being a park manage miraculously translates into skills for running a kingdom, believe it or not. You're business savvy enough to keep the cogs of capitalism rolling, and you are determined to make things turn out the best way that they can.)
Intrigue Skill: 10 (You were the boss of Mordecai and Rigby, so you have a gut feeling when something is up.)
Learning Skill: 12 (You have a basic high school degree, but you've been arou
Occult Skill: 0 (You know magic exists. You just have no idea of how to handle it.)
INCOME: 19 (Soon to Increase upon next Turn with purchase of Wing Kingdom)
SOCIAL: 12 (Seen as an unknown entity, but people in the City are starting to see the good in you)

TRAITS

Wing Addiction (-25 to anything related to Wing Kingdom or chicken wings. You, ah... you miiiiiight have an unhealthy obsession with the unhealthy food.)
YOU'RE FIRED! (+10 to Diplomacy stats and automatic to any Hero Unit working under you. You can channel your anger onto a directed target and see to it that they never hold a job again)
Maellard's Funds (+10 to anything related to finances)
Anger (-40 to anything that is stress-related or causes you to have some sort of breakdown in the middle of combat. Gone down from 50, thanks to Anger Management)

Martial: 11 (Been in some fights in the past, usually against something weird like midget people, supernatural creatures, or the occasional homeless person in the store parking lot)
Diplomacy: 7 (You think of yourself a cool guy, and... that's about it)
Stewardship: 12 (Full-time parent means knowing how to organize and plan around your kid and their needs. You and your wife are skilled at this)
Intrigue: 10 (You've spent years raising a kid to pick up on some traits of when a person is trying to lie, even if it is in the most obvious way possible)
Learning: 12 (You actually are skilled with things related to coding, albeit it comes from studying video games. You're a little rusty, but you think that you still got the magic touch)
Occult: 0 (You know magic exists, been in plenty of weird situations involving it. But you don't know how to do it. Looks pretty cool, though)

TRAITS

Family Man (You are extremely compassionate towards your family and friends, willing to do whatever it takes to please them. +2 to anything related to helping people you consider close to you)
Behind the Wheel (You're a sick skateboarder, capable of grinding some sick moves to anyone close enough--heheh--to see it... oh, and you're also a decent driver. +5 to any vehicles involving Josh behind the wheel)

OPINION ON BENSON: +10 (Grateful towards Benson for giving him this job opportunity and is willing to prove his worth around the Park)

Martial: 45 (A powerhouse on her own, Nicole Watterson has undergone the most arduous of training for martial arts combat: parenthood. She is capable of taking over small cities on her own.)
Diplomacy: 17 (As a parent, Nicole can switch between gentle mom phase to iron-clad dictator at the drop of the hat. Nine times out of ten, though, the iron-clad dictator shines through.)
Stewardship: 22 (Nicole has spent decades working under a company that gave her little, if any, acknowledgement for her accomplishments in business, even when she's been managing an entire section of work on her own.)
Intrigue: 15 (A mother knows when something is up. While not a world class detective, she'll be able to sniff out anything obviously suspicious.)
Learning: 13 (Nicole graduated from high school and spent years gaining life skills to aid her in situations pertaining to a suburban lifestyle. How that'll transfer over to the Park is up to interpretation.)
Occult: 0 (She knows there's something out there. Especially with what happened in... Elmore.)

TRAITS

I AM A GOOD MOTHER! (+10 to Martial whenever something comes up that calls into question her ability to protect/raise her children.)
Anger Issues (Her hectic childhood and adulthood has led to Nicole developing a short temper, prone to violent bursts of anger when stressed out. Rage Capstone: 5/40)
You Need To Run. N O W... (+20 to Intimidation when Rage Meter capstones.)
Emotional Baggage (-40 in conversations whenever the subject of Elmore or her extended family is brought up. Susceptible to go down in time...)

Martial: 14 (Has gone hand to hand with C-list supervillains from the Powerpuff Girls roster in the past and won.)
Diplomacy: 23 (Skilled in political sciences, capable of easing people into talks with her low, sensual voice.)
Stewardship: 45 (Basically responsible for keeping Townsville from going to the dogs when she worked for The Mayor during his tenure.)
Intrigue: 13 (Has a keen eye for things out of the ordinary.)
Learning: 15 (Has college levels of education.)
Occult: 0 (She's seen some stuff during her time in Townsville, but cannot manipulate it in any way herself.)

TRAITS

Level-Headed (+10 to Intrigue in any situation involving stress and/or combat. Bellum is a cool customer, thinking logically in ways to outwit her opponent and gain the upper hand.)
Guiding Hand (+15 to anything related to the boss's work, giving him pointers and advice on how to follow through with things.)

Martial: 24 (A trained United States Marine, Daffy is as unpredictable in combat as he is in normal everyday stuff. Has a confirmed kill count of over 300 hostiles, it's unknown how many more have fallen to Daffy's hands before, during, and after his time serving in the military.)
Diplomacy: 1 (It's Daffy.)
Stewardship: 1 (See above.)
Intrigue: 5 (A decent liar, but that's not saying much.)
Learning: 1 (The fact it isn't a 0 is one of life's greatest mysteries.)
Occult: 0 (Daffy knows jackshit about magic. He does do a killer roleplay as Daffy Duck the Wizard.)

TRAITS

I'm The Picture of Health (-10 to skills when entering any hazardous areas, due to his already terrible immune system.)
It's A Parade Float (-10 to Stealth when on cover missions. Daffy is very adamant about taking his parade float with you guys to foreign countries.)

OogahBoogah · Jan 7, 2024

Skimming through the application papers, you note that there's a surprising number of them than you were expecting. It wasn't usually for people to voluntarily offer their services to park recreational and needs, given the hard manual labor that goes into it, but the boss being your home's King might have something to do with that.

One of the few times I'm glad my power shtick works out in my favor. Wonder if I can use it to cut the line at Cheeser's? ...nah, I'm a King, not a prick.

You glance at the applicants, locating a phone number on their sheets and reach for the landline. It's late at night, so no one really picks up the phone when you call each one, but you leave a message on their voicemail telling them the time and place to meet up with you for an interview. You got a good feeling once you finish making the calls, tidying up your office desk before leaving for the night.

Let's hope these guys are as any good as the old crew. And for the love of... I don't really know what god to ask, since I've met like twenty in the past six years... but please, someone out there, don't let any of these people be a Rigby. One's bad enough to deal with already.

KNOCK-KNOCK!!

"Come in."

You're sitting at your desk the next morning, watching person after person come and go in a slew of meetings. Most of them were either kids fresh out of high school and college looking for some extra cash, or people down on their luck trying to find something to make ends meet. You feel bad for some of them, but this job calls for more dedication and experience than one would think. And you're hoping this next one would break that cycle.

The door opens and in walks a blue cat lady... lady cat... female feline?

I feel like that one's insensitive so I'm not gonna bring it up until they do.

"Ah, good morning," you glance down at the paper on your desk, noting the name on it. "Mrs. Watterson. It's nice to meet you."

She shakes your hand, her smile a little strained. "It's Miss Watterson now."

"Ah. My, uh... apologies, I didn't mean to be insensitive."

"Not to worry," she shrugs, sitting down in the chair across from you. "It's still something I'm getting used to. But that's not what we're here to focus on today, though."

"Yeah, that's true. So, Ms. Watterson, what brings you to the Park?"

"Well, my kids and I just moved to the City after... recent events... in our family forced us to relocate, and we found a small apartment that suit our needs. I've looked around job listings but none of them really suited my needs."

"Really now? And those are...?"

"Better housing," she says, her face conveying why she picked this job up. "I noticed your ad offered free housing to any employees registered under you, and well, not to come across as callous, but it's one of the reasons I put in an application here. But I assure you that I have plenty of skills that can be beneficial to your Park's needs."

"Uh-huh. And what kind of skills are we talking about here."

A smirk grows on her face as she suddenly stands and bends down, picking up your mahogany desk with one. HAND?!

You stare, slack-jawed, in bafflement as she dangles it nonchalantly over you.

"I trust that this means you'll keep me in consideration?"

"Ohhhh, yeah."

Nicole Watterson!
Domestic Mother and Feline Warrior
Martial: 45
Diplomacy: 17
Stewardship: 22
Intrigue: 15
Learning: 13
Occult: 0

"I SAY, I SAY, A GOOD HOWDY MORNIN' TO YOU, PARDNER! MUST SAY THAT YOU LOOK MIGHTY SPIFFY IN THAT THERE SUIT THERE, GOTTA KNOW WHO YOUR COBBLER IS AND IF I CAN HIRE HIM! HA-HAH!!"

"...uh-huh."

You stare in bemusement at the tall, boisterous chicken man that just walked into your office. He did hold himself in a confidence you couldn't help but admire in a chicken man whose voice could shatter all the windows on a skyscraper.

"Well, Mister... Foghorn Leghorn, is it? You're here for the job interview?"

Foghorn leaned back and crossed his legs with all the grace of a dignified southern bird-man. "That's right, son! I saw your little notice about a job opening, and I thought, 'Why not let ol' Foghorn show 'em how it's done?'."

"Alright then. Let's start with your qualifications. What makes you think you're fit for this job?"

"Son, I've been handling responsibilities since before you were a glimmer in your creator's eye. I'm a natural leader, and I've got the charm to keep everyone in line."

Creator? Does he think I was made on a factory line?!
You fight back your growing annoyance, even though your voice was clipped and curt now. "Charm, huh? We're looking for someone who can manage a team efficiently. How do you handle conflicts among your coworkers?"

"Conflicts, eh? Well, I usually just talk 'em down with my smooth southern charm. Ain't nobody can resist Foghorn Leghorn's way with words."

"Smooth southern charm, huh? That's all well and good, but we need someone who can stay calm under pressure. How do you handle stressful situations?"

The smile he flashes you is the type you see on ad posters everywhere. Open and inviting to anyone that sees it, luring them in with honeyed words and promises. You get the feeling that it's something he's practiced for a long time.

"Son, stress is for the weak. I handle it like a rooster handles the dawn – head held high and crowin' with confidence!"

"Hmm, confidence is good, but we also need someone who can follow directions. Can you take orders without questioning them?"

"Why, of course! I'm a team player, as long as the team recognizes who's in charge."

That crosses off one of the concerns in your mind. A man with a silver tongue like that would normally try to pull a fast one on others to rise up in the ranks, but as you stare at Foghorn, you get the feeling that he's being genuine about his words.

You nod in approval, leaning back in your chair. "Alright, one last thing. How do you feel about slacking off on the job?"

"Well, son," Foghorn's smile takes on a mischievous edge. "A little downtime never hurt nobody. A nap here, a break there – keeps the feathers shiny."

You sigh, feeling the familiar feeling of a migraine throbbing at your temple. "Mr. Leghorn, we're looking for someone who takes their job seriously. And being a member of this crew requires you to have that same level of seriousness when handling your tasks for the day. I'm all for a break as any normal boss would, but a nap feels like a step too far."

"Now, hold on there, son. You see, a nap ain't just a nap. It's a strategic recharge to ensure peak performance when the time comes."

You aren't really impressed by his explanation. If anything, it feels like talking to Rigby but with a southern accent. "We don't need strategic nappers; we need someone who can keep the team on track. The work here is demanding, and we can't afford to have someone snoozing when there's a job to be done."

"Son, you're missing the finer points of workin' smart, not hard. A well-timed nap can make all the difference."

You can feel your face grow heated at Foghorn's words, his nonchalant attitude.

"We're not running a relaxation resort here, Mr. Leghorn. We need commitment and dedication, not someone looking for a hand-out while sleeping on the job!"

Foghorn actually smirks at that. "Well, I reckon you'll be missin' out on the Foghorn touch of efficiency. But, suit yourself, son."

"Efficiency is important, but so is responsibility. We'll be in touch, Mr. Leghorn."

Foghorn Leghorn
Southern Bird Extraordinaire and Experienced Negotiator
Martial: 12
Diplomacy: 37
Stewardship: 18
Intrigue: 10
Learning: 12
Occult: 0

As the next person walks in, you feel your face heat up but in an entirely different manner than how Foghorn's meeting went. Was it just you or did someone crank up the heat in this room?

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Mr. President."

"M-my pleasure, Miss Bellum, was it?"

"It is."

The attractive redhead, whose face was shrouded in mystery by that gorgeous hair of hers, was poised elegantly across from you. Her dress and exotic... um, features... made it hard for you to focus as you began the interview.

"So, Miss Bellum, I hear you used to work in Townsville as a city official, right?"

"Correct. I was the Mayor's assistant for many years, often times taking on his role whenever he was indisposed with... other activities."

"I see. And you did this all by yourself?"

"It wasn't as hard as one makes it out to be. In my profession, keeping a level head helps you through some of the madness you see out there in the world. And believe you and me, Townsville was full of it."

"So I've heard," you quietly chuckled, sweat dropping down your face.

"Living in a place like Townsville for so long gave me a new perspective on things. I was always committed to making the city a better place, up until... regardless. My experience in handling various crises has prepared me for the challenges that come with managing a city's operations, whether it'd be the boring bureaucratic processes or, nine times out of ten, covering the disaster relief programs following a supervillain and/or monster's rampage in the city."

"Impressive. Now, we deal with a mix of regular and, um, irregular challenges here. How do you balance the mundane tasks with the unexpected chaos?"

"Balance is crucial. While I understand the importance of routine tasks, my experience has taught me to stay adaptable. Whether it's thwarting a villain or handling bureaucratic matters, I believe in maintaining a flexible approach."

"Good to know," you smile in approval. You hope that your face isn't as flushed as it feels. "We also need someone who can lead and manage a team effectively. How do you handle leadership responsibilities?"

"Leadership, to me, is about fostering a collaborative environment where everyone's strengths are utilized. It's one of the reasons why the Mayor's office and the Powerpuff Girls were so close in the golden days. Without it, everything would've come undone."

"Collaboration is key here. And what's your take on handling stress and pressure?"

Her response came in the form of a breathy chuckle. "Trust me, I'm more than capable of taking the stresses of the job in stride. Compared to my old one, this shouldn't be so complicated."

You grimace, but don't press the matter further.

"Well, Miss Bellum, you seem well-qualified for the job. We'll be in touch after we finish the interview process to give you our final thoughts."

"Thank you, Mr. Benson. I look forward to the possibility of working together."

As she leaves, you quickly reach for the box of tissues in your desk to dab at your face.

"Woof..."

Sara Bellum
Former Assistant Mayor and Team Leader
Martial: 14
Diplomacy: 23
Stewardship: 45
Intrigue: 13
Learning: 15
Occult: 0

Your next interview was rather... unorthodox.

Mainly because of who you were interviewing.

"So, mister," you look down at the application, raising an eyebrow warily. "...Jack Spicer? What sorta skills comes with being an 'Evil Boy Genius' in your own words?"

"Pssh, what's it sound like to ya," Jack Spicer, a pale red-haired boy with Asian origins, kicked his feet up onto your desk smugly. You swiped them off with a backhand that made him yelp in surprise. "Hey, watch the boots! They don't come cheap, you know!"

"It sounds like I need a good reason not to throw you out of here right now. But we here at the Park don't discriminate others based on past... dubious backgrounds..." you inwardly cringe as you say that. Somewhere, you get the feeling that Muscle Man is laughing. "So I'll give you a chance. Tell me, what makes you think you're fit for a position here?"

"Look, chrome dome, being an evil genius isn't easy. I've built robots, created my own Jack-Bots (trademarked!) and other killer gadgets, and managed to annoy enough do-gooders more times than I can count. When it comes to robotics, I know how to get things done and who to get rid of."

You stare blankly at Jack. "This isn't a job that calls for assassinations on a daily basis... I think. We're not looking for someone to create chaos here. We need someone who can handle day-to-day operations and work well with others. How do you fit into that?"

"Well, you see, running a villainous operation takes coordination and strategy," Jack boasted. "I've got leadership skills like no other."

"Uh-huh." you glance back down at his resume. "'Cause it says here you used to work under a missus... Wuya? Who fired you for, and I quote, 'being a dumb grease monkey'?"

"THAT'S A LIE!!" he yanks the resume out of your hands, glaring murderously into it. "THAT WITCH DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT! SHE'S JUST JEALOUS CAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO HAD ALL THE MONEY AND SKILL TO MAKE OUR GADGETS WORK, NOT HER STUPID DEMON MAGIC!"

A knock on the door, and Josh popped his head in. "Hey, Benson, you okay in here? Thought I heard some kind of chimp running around in here."

"INGRATE! JACK-BOTS, ATTACK!!"

Josh screeches in horror as Jack unleashed two discs that transform into twin bronze-colored robots blazing with weapons. He slammed the door shut, which the robots didn't hesitate to smash through, the sounds of laser fire mixed with Josh's screams echoing throughout the house.

Jack laughed manically, hearing the screams before he blinked, coming back to reality. He turns back to you, smirking in a way that he probably perceives as... cool.

"Oh, by the way, I'm a genius – you can't deny the appeal of having that kind of brainpower on your team."

"Get. Out."
Jack blinks. "...so I got the job, orrrr-"

"OUT!!"
He was gone faster than you could blink.

Jack Spicer
Evil Boy Genius and Homeless Loser
Martial: 5
Diplomacy: 3
Stewardship: 5
Intrigue: 11
Learning: 40
Occult: 2

You just got done repairing the door to your office when the next person walked in. Compared to Jack, this one was a godsend, given her casual demeanor and down-to-earth personality. It kinda reminded yourself of you but, you know... as a human.

"So, Miss... Tyson?" you blink, taking an eyebrow. You can't help but joke. "Any relation to Mike Tyson?"

"Yeah, he's my dad."

...

"Wh-what?"

Yung-Hee Tyson shrugged, crossing her legs. "Yeah, he adopted me when I was just a baby, but don't let that freak you out. My dad and his... eccentricities... won't have any place here, I hope. We, ah, parted ways a long time ago."

"Oh. Nothing too serious, I hope."

"Nah, nothing like that. Just got tired of being in his shadow for so long that I figured it was time for me to branch out and find my own calling. Looked around the country for some job listings, but most of them were owned by either corporate overload douchebags or sociopaths that get a kick out of enslaving the human race, so my choices are slim."

"Understandable. I hope I don't fall into either line-up," you chuckle weakly.

Yung-Hee just stares back at you, as your chuckles awkwardly fade away.

You clear your throat. "So... Yung-Hee, according to your resume, you've been involved in solving mysteries with your father and his mystery team. What exactly qualifies you for a job at the park?"

"Well, Mr. Benson, I've encountered all sorts of strange situations and unpredictable events. I have a knack for handling the unexpected and keeping my cool under pressure."

"Handling the unexpected is something you'll need if you want a job around here. Feels like every week we have something new popping up."

Outside, you can hear the faint sounds of combat as Josh and his family beat the unholy hell out of a screaming Jack. You try your best to not look in that direction, though you take satisfaction in hearing the evil genius get what was coming to him. That'll teach him not to destroy your doors.

"And what about teamwork? Our park requires employees to work together efficiently. Can you handle that?"

"Of course! Teamwork is crucial in solving mysteries with dad, even if some of the others weren't the most cooperative with us. If I can handle working with a man trapped in a pigeon's body and a half-dead ghost, then I can handle working with whoever else you got hired on here."

"Good. Happy to hear it. We'll keep you informed, Yung-Hee, while making our final decisions."

"Thanks. Now, uh... mind checking to see if that fight outside's finished?"

"Yeah, sure."

You get up and walk to the window, watching the spectacle of Josh, Emily, and their friends beat down Jack while Candice cheers them on from afar.

"AAAAH-AAAAH-AAAAH!! MY FACE, WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE FACE?!"

"...yeah, you're good to go."

"CALL AN AMBULANCE, PLEAAAASE!!"

Yung-Hee Tyson
Mystery Solver and Heir to Tyson Industries
Martial: 11
Diplomacy: 20
Stewardship: 12
Intrigue: 35
Learning: 15
Occult: 0

The last interview for the day was one you weren't expecting, especially when you read the resume that they had.

"Ah, welcome, miss..." you hesitate, looking at their name on paper. "I'm sorry, it only has your alter-ego name on here. Is there something else I can call you or-"

"It's just Jinx. Been that way my whole life."

"Gotcha, gotcha. Didn't mean to offend you or anything like that."

"No worries."

You try to hide your unease while sitting across from a famed supervillain. Even before you blasted off into space, you remember watching the news out of an area called Jump City where Jinx's face was seen prominently among a group of young criminal delinquents that tore up entire blocks before they were stopped by the local teenage heroes. Since your return and learning about the kingdoms, you expected her to be up in HIVE Kingdom with the rest of her buddies, subjugating the masses with their wicked powers and numbers.

Instead, she's here. In your Park. Looking for a regular 9-5 job.

This world keeps getting stranger and stranger.
"So, what brings you to our neck of the woods? Touring the sites or something?"

"Considering my last place is currently under a gestapo police state, your City is a step-up from Jump already. Plus, less tacky with its color. All gray and smog blocking out the sun is horrible for my skin."

You look at her unnaturally pale skin, which made the pink hair and dark gothic clothes on her stand out even more so. "I would say so."

"Yeah, I know, right?" she leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs casually over one another. "So, when the big man took over the city and turned it into an Orwellian hell-hole, I was ecstatic at first. Me and my friends were allowed to take what we wanted whenever, and no one could stop us. No super dorks to get in our way, no cops to try and bust down our operations, and no consequences for anything that came our way. It was great for awhile."

"Until?"

"...I got bored," she said flippantly, avoiding your gaze. "Turns out ruling the world isn't as fun as one makes it out to be. So I left and looked around for something to keep me on my toes. Tried DKC for awhile, but the furries there creeped me out, so I left. Orchid Bay was nice, but too many monsters and was too small for my liking. Now I'm here and, well..."

She shrugged unashamedly as she said, "I like the look of your Park. It's nice, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, duh, that's what I just said."

You rub at your temples, trying to fight back the growing migraine.

"Okay, that's... swell and all, but what kind of skills can you bring to our crew that others don't?"

Jinx slowly stood up, putting you on edge. With a sugar-sweet smile, she motioned for you to follow her with one hand to the window. You warily do so, looking outside to find... Jack yelling at your current worker from afar, wrapped up in bandages with a robot nurse(?) near him.

"YOU FOOLS HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, DO YOU HEAR?! MY VENGEANCE WILL BE SWIFT AND MERCILESS! A THOUSAND YEARS OF DOOM AND TORTURE AWAIT YOU ONCE I UNLEASH MY LATEST JACK-BOTS TO TURN YOUR WHOLE PARK INTO ASH!"

"I noticed," Jinx commented while watching the commotion. "That your park has a problem with trash. So I figured I'd put my skills to good use and take it out."

Raising one hand, she focused on Jack's location and snapped her fingers.

"--NOT EVEN YOUR PET GOLDFISH WILL BE SAFE FRO--eh?"

A pink stream of power raced across the Park, tearing up the earth in its path. All the while Jack stood there, watching... and watching... and was he ever gonna move?

"AIYEEEEE!!"

...apparently not, given that the power was strong enough to literally catapult him from out of sight into the sky, his form becoming a twinkling star from afar. Panicking, the robot nurse chased after its master, screaming about applying more band-aids to tend to its creator's 'boo-boos'.

"Huh. Not bad."

"Thanks," Jinx winks at you. "Hopefully that's enough to keep me considered, yes?"

"Oh, most certainly."

Jinx
Unlucky Charm Mistress and ???
Martial: 30
Diplomacy: 8
Stewardship: 8
Intrigue: 10
Learning: 11
Occult: 40

Who Do You Hire? (Select up to 2)
[ ] Nicole Watterson
[ ] Foghorn Leghorn
[ ] Sara Bellum
[ ] Jack Spicer (RIP)
[ ] Yung-Hee Tyson
[ ] Jinx

Mortarium will end in six hours!

OogahBoogah · Jan 8, 2024

Adhoc vote count started by OogahBoogah on Jan 8, 2024 at 8:03 PM, finished with 29 posts and 12 votes.

6 people have voted
[X] Sara Bellum
[X] Nicole Watterson
- q0taz
- DLord
- pdp
- Drakewolfbio
- Dinfinity
- Brightflame
5 people have voted
[X] Sara Bellum
[X] Jinx
1 people have voted
[X] Jinx
- DrWalpurgisnacht

The results are in! You have received Sara Bellum and Nicole Watterson as your next Hero Units!

Your choices will have consequences....

OogahBoogah · Jan 10, 2024

From the final will and testament of Mr. Maellard, late king of The City:

Benson,

If you're reading this, chances are I'm already dead. Can't say it couldn't come any sooner, what with all these loonies and their techo-whuzzits tearing up the country all around us. I sent Pops out into space to keep him space and despite my many, many, MANY... thoughts about that decision, I can't deny that him not seeing this is a small blessing to me. He couldn't stand to watch people get hurt over stupid things like land disputes. Which is why I'm secretly relieved to know that you'll be in charge of this kingdom (eugh, even writing that sounds tacky) when I'm dead and gone. You may be sad or happy or mildly confused by all of this, which makes sense when knowing how much of an excellent, inspiring, thought-provoking--

(The will contains several pages worth of Mr. Maellard praising his accomplishments and satisfying his ego. You... might be lying when you say you didn't skip any of it.)

--AND practical boss that I am. I had hoped to pass these traits down to you because if not, well, you're probably gonna get steam-rolled by whoever your neighbors are. And there's a lot of them. Lucky for you, I took time compiling a list of the weirdoes calling the shots across the country. And believe me, some of them sound like they rolled straight off the talkies, based on what my guys have gathered.

CORPORATE RIVALS

Evil Adult Industries -- Ran by Benedict Uno, alias "Father". Territories comprised of the states of Virginia (his capital), West Virginia, the Carolinas, Alabama, Missouri, and most of Kentucky and Tennessee. Dubbed "The Swim" by its residents, it is a polluted, industrialized nightmare where the slightest infringement in work and/or pro-kid activities can result in your house being turned into ash by Father. Literally, the guy possesses fire abilities. Notable associates include a hunchbacked man named "Mr. Boss", a dentistry-themed vigilante called "Knightbrace", a weirdo plumber named "The Toilenator", his private group of creepy child soldiers called "The Delightful Children", and many others going as "sooper-villains".
- NOTE: Potential assets to recruit in that area are splinter groups of misbehaving children calling themselves "Kids Next Door" or something silly.

Mandark Inc. -- Ran by Susan "Mandark" Astronomonov (yes, that's his REAL name). Territories comprised of the states of Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Utah, and Arizona in several regions while vying for control against other kings near him. He had the state of Idaho fully under his thumb, but recently, some red midget named "Voltar" won a big land settlement and claimed ownership of the country belonging to his home town. Mandark has been waging war against him ever since. Beware, though, for Mandark is cruel as he is petty. The slightest infringement in his eyes toward him will lead to the man trying to best you in every way conceivable out of petty narcissism alone.
- NOTE: Oregon's unclaimed territories are a radioactive hellhole with few human settlements scattered throughout. Rumors persist that their leader is a man named "Jerry", who claims to know what caused the whole mess, but we couldn't be bothered to ask.
  - ADDENDUM: Several of the scientists that worked on the Space Park project has gone over to work for Mandark Inc, due to lack of job opportunities elsewhere. The traitors.

Endsworld -- Ran by Mandy (no pinned last name). Territories comprised of the states of Texas, New Mexico, Colorado, and small settlements in the states of Oklahoma, Arizona and Utah. Don't let this girl's young age fool you, for she is as ruthless as any corporate leader as they can get and scarier than the demons she rules over. No one knows how she managed to make her way into the Underworld, but ever since then, she's been annexing large chunks of it to her kingdom to expand her enterprise. She deals in manufacturing weapons, armed projectiles and vehicles, and harnessing dark forces to power her fuel supply across all of Endsworld. Rumors speak of her private pirate fleet that sails from the Rio Styx (what used to be the Rio Grande for us mortals) to reap the souls of her enemies.
- NOTE: Mandark tried to intimidate her into giving him back the land she claimed from him with a giant robot tearing up parts of New Mexico. Two days later, it was found crushed down into a soda can in Mandark's private office. Be cautious when entering her territories.

Nowhere -- Ran by Katz (no pinned last name). Territories comprised of the states of Montana, the Dakotas, Nebraska, and Kansas. A strange, ominous creature, Katz assumed control over many Midwest states through various scams and backdoor dealings to create a monopoly centered around the weirdness of that region. Were-weevils, insane French ducks, alien chickens, grandma-stealing foxes, and more odd creatures roam the land. His capital is oddly enough the small town of Nowhere, where his palace is built over the ruins of some old farmhouse. And near his base of operations is a caravan of gypsy dogs, strangely enough. It would seem he keeps them there as prisoners out of some sick amusement, picking on one in particular who has no will to fight back.
- NOTE: Several states ruled by Katz is infringed upon by other elements, some magical and some alien. Katz has been looking into ways to remedy this.

Dan Halen Inc. -- Ran by Dan Halen. Territories comprise of ALMOST all of Georgia, save for one county. A mutated bipedal midget man(?), Dan Halen is as ruthless as he is boisterous. He prides himself on being an all-knowing asshat, content with ripping you off so long as it fills his wallet plum full. His public PR is one Early Cuyler, former sheriff of the county where Dan made his debut in. His main force of intimidation are strangely enough a family of redneck mutant squids that live out in the woods and will do anything for cash. And I mean, anything.If there's anything with the term illegal in front of it, chances are Dan Halen is making a profit off of it.
- NOTE: That squid family that works for Dan Halen are about as dumb as a bag of hammers. You wave anything higher than a $20 in the patriarch's face, chances are they'll turn on Dan Halen. Then again, same could be said about you if it was the other way around.

Boxmore -- Ran by Lord Boxman. Territories comprise of Delaware alone. Running things from his multi-million dollar robotics company, Lord Boxman enjoys making the lives of the people under his thumb a living hell. After the fall of some rival plaza, Boxman quickly moved on to conquer the state during the early years of the Earth Crusades (I think that's what we're calling it, I'm not sure. Ask a historian) and has settled into his state of king rather easily. With an army of diverse and highly dangerous robots, the worst of them being a baby(?) doppelganger of its creator, Lord Boxman associates himself with the Evil Board of Villains, an international group of villains making a profit off of running kingdoms of their own in the Eastern Hemisphere. Boxman is the only one affiliated with them in the Americas, but only time will tell on that.
- NOTE: Several people have noted that there used to be fighters that opposed Lord Boxman before his takeover. And rumor has it that some of them, not all, are still operating in that area today.

SUPER-VILLAIN RIVALS

HIVE World -- Ran by Slade (no pinned last name). Territories include parts of California, Oregon, and small settlements in Nevada. To the north of our beloved home state used to be the headquarters of the enigmatic Teen Titans, a hot-blooded group of teenaged do-gooders that fought against villainy and alien threats in Jump City. However, all of that changed when the mysterious Slade wiped out all the Titans in one night with the help of his new "apprentice", or so the propaganda posters say. Following the defeat of his arch-rivals, Slade expanded his territory to other cities by enlisting the HIVE Academy and other villains among the Titans roster to create his own super-villain army. It only expanded in numbers when he conquered areas like Townsville and Bellwood, each city having its own share of super-powered humans and/or creatures in its vicinity. Alongside that is the destruction of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends by his apprentice, which unleashed the worst of the Imaginary Friends onto the USA. No one knows what Slade's goals are, but one thing is certain: if you pick a fight with the man without SERIOUS help, you will lose.
- NOTE: Rumored sightings of would-be Titan members stirring up insurrection in Slade's territories have become common. Among them are twin speedsters, a marine-based lad, a young archer, and a girl with bee wings. There used to be a sixth one, another speedster, but was recently captured and executed by members of the HIVE.

Dark Kat City -- Ran by Dark Kat. Territories include parts of California. Our neighbor to the north is home to strange and oddly-furry creatures that resemble our household pets and other animals to note. When he took over Megakat City, Dark Kat rebranded it into 'Dark Kat City', turning it into a lawless and anarchic nightmare where the weak perish and the strong (or, in this case, the insane) thrive. He has expanded his territories to include more anarchy and will not rest until seemingly the whole world follows suit. He is one that keeps to himself, but does not look down upon asking other gangsters and supervillains in his area for some... 'reinforcement' when the masses get too uppity about his madness.
- NOTE: A fighter squadron named after two fallen ace pilots harasses the air space above Dark Kat's kingdom, infuriating the feline ruler, but not as bad as their originators used to.

La Obscura Encordada -- Ran by El Malefico. Territories include parts of Nevada. An urban legend brought to life, El Malefico made his debut to center stage by destroying a famous luchador school before seizing control of most of southern Nevada. He spends most of his days in Las Vegas, the city of sin, by displaying his strange and archaic luchador magic by challenging any hero that attempts to take him down. All who enter the ring leaves in body bags. El Malefico is a prideful being, one who can be easily challenged into accepting a fight but also one capable of winning it. You'd better have a strong body-builder helping you out when you step into the ring with him.
- NOTE: El Malefico holds a franchise claim on many casinos and racketeering schemes that earn him a profitable income. Targeting those would be a good way to hurt his authority.

The League of Calamitous Intent -- Ran by The Monarch. Territories include parts of Oklahoma and Arkansas. The League is a supervillain organization that spans the globe, taking on contracts of villainy for reasonable prices and genuinely seeing it as a profitable business venture. Its leader, the Monarch, is a strange man prone to outlandish outbursts in public and suffers from a crippling self-loathing over some recent mishaps with an arch-rival of his. The rest of the league include villains that have been around for decades, such as the Red Death, and up-and-coming newcomers to the ranks of villainy like a kid named Brain Freezer and a gross old guy named Dr. Animo. They seem to be giving out membership cards to anyone nowadays, partly to bolster their reputation with how little territory they have.
- NOTE: Any rumor of a man named "Venture" is bound to drive the Monarch on a mad hunt for whoever they are, dragging many League members along with him.

Crystal Cove -- Ran by Professor Pericles. Territories include Louisiana. One of the strangest kings in the USA, Pericles is a carrier pigeon with the brain and intellect of a genius, years ahead of his time. No one knows where he came from, only that his appearance belays a calculating cruelty behind those beady eyes of his. He enforces his rule with the help of repurposed robotic cybermen lost from the era of the Second World War, callously putting down any attempts of protest against his rule. Many have been scared to speak out after his rather vicious display of executing a canine mascot of some local mystery-solving gang.
- NOTE: Reports say that he is desperately in search of some artifact that, when found, will give him unlimited power to crush his enemies.

Neo-Gotham -- Ran by Anarky (no notable name of interest). Territories include ALMOST all of New Jersey, save for one area. A supervillain mastermind, Anarky is known as the man who took down the Batman and his allies when the heroes fell and evil won. With the Batman gone, the floodgates between sanity and insanity in Gotham was broken, unearthing a plethora of madmen and psychopaths to wreck havoc across the whole state of New Jersey. Some have even gone beyond state borders, offering their services to kings that interest them or randomly appears/disappears after striking hard at some poor innocent bystanders. As for Anarky himself? Well, he's content to sit back and watch the madness. It's what his endgame was after all.
- NOTE: Its king is the man who KILLED the Batman. Beware his skills and manipulation tactics. And also Gotham in general, that place is NUTS.

Foot Domain -- Ran by the Shredder (no notable name of interest). Territories include New York. By far one of the most isolated kingdoms, the Foot Domain is home to the elusive Foot Clan of ninjas, a legendary sect of warriors originating from Japan. Its leader: the Shredder, a ruthless and cold-blooded killer rumored to have been an ancient demon from days long past. However, that is all the information that has been revealed to the public. No one attempting to get inside the state has been able to get out, not without a public display of execution. In this kingdom, there is no hope. There is only the Shredder.
- NOTE: Mutated creatures and flying aliens are heard to inhabit this kingdom, but that's all hearsay. Given the rest of the country's state, though, it wouldn't surprise you if any of this were true.

Rutopia -- Ran by Stewie Griffin. Territories include Rhode Island, New Hampshire, ALMOST all of Massachusetts, Vermont, and parts of Maine. Not gonna lie, this is the weirdest king to claim dominance in America, bar none. A literal baby with plans for 'world domination', only to be stunted by others beating him to the punch. Outraged, he cut off all communications to the outside world from his populace, content on ruling the bloc that he has and enforcing his strange rules upon them. All of them involving the graphic deaths of people over the slightest infringements like not understanding the movie Caddyshack, peeing in the pool, etc. If he's this bitter over not getting what's his, then I'd hate sitting down in a meeting with him.
- NOTE: His vice-president is his dog and he apparently used to be buddies with the current president. Go figure.

Porkbelly -- Ran by Bling-Bling Boy (Real Name: Eugene Hamilton). Territories include small parts of Massachusetts. What is it with these kids and gaining their hands on weapons that could conquer the world for them? Well, luckily, this tub of lard was only able to conquer one corner of Massachusetts before he called it quits. All he wanted was claim over some city called Porkbelly (hence the name) and to win the heart of some girl? Ugh. You could probably take this kid on in a fight, but don't expect to be surprised when people get mad over you bullying a kid, even if it is one as dumb as this one.
- NOTE: Apparently in a cold war against the president of Rutopia over a contest of who can build the better death laser. I hate kids.

ALIEN RIVALS

Great Diamond Authority -- Ran by Colonial Regent Peridot and Supreme Commander Jasper. Territories include Hawaii and Alaska on U.S. soil, main base of operations located across most of Canada. Yes, you read that right: aliens. I know it's hard to believe-

(You take a moment to ponder on how much of the regular park reports Mr. Maellard read from you before pressing on.)

-but it's true. Aliens have invaded our home and want to use us for whatever nefarious space plans they have for us 'lesser creatures'. With these aliens, I've managed to identify them as Gems, sentient rock ladies capable of harnessing weapons from their bodies and possessing inhuman abilities (strength, speed, durability, intelligence, the whole nine yards) all in the name of conquering us for their 'Homeworld'. Their leaders are a joint pair: the brains being a smug, stuck-up and pointy-looking thing called Peridot, and the other a tower of muscle and the secret child of the Cheetos Cheetah (my investigators have yet to confirm this, but it has to be true!) called Jasper, who is the brawn of these aliens. Together, they've conquered most of Canada and are attempting to annex the United States, only to find most of our kings here refuse to let go of their areas without a proper fight. The government is attempting to launch some kind of campaign against these invaders, but with their current standing, it's hopeless. With alien technology and thousands of soldiers at their command, these alien ladies are not that far from seizing our country for themselves.
- NOTE: Rumors have reported a strange splinter sect among these Gem warriors, calling themselves 'The Crystal Gems' whatever that means. They've hit several bases and toppled plenty of them, but are on the backfoot against their enemy's superior numbers and tech. Apparently they even have some humans working with them, based on sightings of a 'warrior knight' carving through legions of Gem soldiers.
  - ADDENDUM: (Read further reports to note the differences in the Gem caste system).

New Cybertron -- Ran by Lord Megatron. Territories include Michigan, Wisconsin, Indiana, and parts of Ohio, Illinois and Minnesota. In my honest opinion, these are the deadliest things occupying our land. Towering mechanized robot aliens from some distant galaxy, these 'Decepticons' made their mark by destroying a city in Michigan before spreading their powerbase from there. Within weeks, they assumed control of the states they now control, only to face heavy opposition from the kings surrounding them. But that hasn't stopped their advancements, continuing to fight even as the other kings' resources dwindle. No one knows where this Megatron is getting the stuff to power his army from, but it doesn't escape the fact that he's close to breaking the stalemate happening in Americana. Their single purpose? Our extinction. What few survivors of the areas he claimed have reported a complete and total genocide of all the cities and towns within New Cybertron's borders, and they are content to continue that trend worldwide.
- NOTE: If you could find out what it is that's enabling the Decepticon war-machine to continue, you might be able to turn the tide of that conflict. Then again, that requires you to go behind enemy lines and fight 50 foot robots in a death battle. Good luck.

Drone Zone -- Ran by Lady Gelorum. Territories include Idaho, most of Missouri, and parts of Kansas and Missouri. Though her true origins are up for speculation, one cannot deny the terror that the name 'Gelorum' brings to the humans that dare to live in hiding throughout what used to be the roads of Highway 35. Any humans that her Drones came across are eliminated with swift prejudice, while those that possessed any semblance of racing skills (for some reason) are taken away for what apparently is called 'remodification'. Based on several photographs I have attached to this dossier, you'll find that it's a horrendous fusion of man and machine. Gelorum's regime is one of conquest, of strength. Every day, hundreds of machines are crafted for her Drones to operate and even more humans are abducted for experimentation in the ghastly bowels of Gelorum's private lair. She finds herself locked in a heated war against Megatron and the Gems up north, matching his towering soldiers and the Gem warriors with an unlimited number of her own Drone racers and lumbering machines of war. Most dangerous are the cars that possess strange, mystical abilities capable of wiping out an army single-handedly.
- NOTE: Gelorum seems obsessed with hunting down and eliminating some street racers that have opposed her rule in the past, and rumor has it some of them are hiding in hide-outs along Highway 35. Might be worth a look.

Imperium of Mutradd -- Ran by Lieutenant General Lance. Territories include most of Illinois and Missouri, and occupies several footholds in Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Kentucky, and Tennessee. A young alien soldier from another distant galaxy (how many of these are there?!), this Lieutenant General initially came to Earth seeking some alien fugitive from his place of origin. Unfortunately, any help he asked for was met with poor reception--typical--and so, he sought to do things on his own. Interrupting Gelorum and Megatron's war, he occupied areas that they previously had under control, as he did to the League of Calamitous Intent and Father's own kingdom to garner attention. It worked superbly, and now half of them are trying to find this 'Princess Ilana' to give over and get him out of their hair or is trying to wipe out the kid's control over their territories. Which is made increasingly difficult by the horde of beastly monsters he calls Mutraddi and a private legion of mechanized soldiers called 'Magnuses' holding back the other alien invader's forces.
- NOTE: The Mutraddi have been reported to shifting their attention east, eyeing Kansas hungrily. Perhaps they've found that princess they're after.

OTHER RIVALS

Elmore -- Ran by... Unknown. Territories include Elmore, located on the borders of California and Nevada. Any spies I've sent into Elmore never come out. It is a void upon California itself, with no one--not Dark Kat, not Mandark, not El Malefico, and not even Slade himself--wanting to spend any time and resources on it. Any attempts yields no results. It's almost as if the place devours any that goes in there. Reminds me of an old talkie show Pops used to make me watch about some chocolatier. What was it again: "Nobody ever goes in. And nobody ever comes back out!"
- NOTE: This world, despite what it may try to paint on the outside, is anything BUT amazing. Finding someone who knows what's going on inside would be a literal godsend.

Old World -- Ran by Jerry Smith. Territories include western Washington. This one isn't as bad as it seems, despite the... terrible... living conditions. Apparently, some kind of freak genetic mutation turned everyone west of Washington into some fungal monster desperately calling out for someone named 'Morty', which turns out to be the ruler's missing son. Blaming it on his also missing father-in-law, this Jerry has dedicated his life to fixing the mistakes made by his family and is clearing out herds of infected by himself while also establishing settlements for survivors to inhabit. It's turned into a refugee camp for those fleeing from the other kings, which gives the king a decently-sized army, not to mention the land around them warding off the Gems and Mandark's goons from attempting to breach in. The king is a calm fellow, if a bit unorthodox. He has a tendency to speak in the third-person, so take that as you will.
- NOTE: As I mentioned, this is one of the few kings considered 'cordial' in the States. Do what you want with that info.

Flame Kingdom -- Ran by Flame King. Territories include the Yellowstone Caldera. A literal fireball of magic and anger, this Flame King made his announcement to the world by turning the Yellowstone supervolcano into his own palace. While normally its eruption would be catastrophic, Flame King possess enough power to hold back its sheer destructive might from wiping us all out for his, quote-unquote, 'amusement seeing the little non-pyronites burn each other out'. The king is a sociopath, completely at ease of snuffing out servants for the slightest of infractions and dealing with internal coups every other Thursday. His rule is so uncontested that neither Katz nor Mandark see any point in trying to regain control over what land he owns, citing it to be a 'wasted business opportunity'. So, as long as there is conflict to keep him entertained, the Western Hemisphere is protected from his wrath.
- NOTE: Do not engage without proper protection. The area is contaminated by enough sulfur and volcanic ash that you'll choke to death within the first minute of stepping foot into his domain.

Peach Creek -- Ran by the Kanker Sisters. Territories include a single county in Georgia. One of the strangest rulers of the USA, these kings (yes, plural, there are three of these sisters) have turned the kingdom they rule into their own personal playground. They bring wanton destruction and carnage wherever they go, are content with stealing and murdering anyone that slights them, and are just generally unpleasant to be around. Dan Halen tried striking up a deal with them, only to be hogtied and dragged by the back of a truck to his capital by the Kankers. All they want is to be left alone and have fun, and frankly, Halen is fine with that. These sisters are powerhouses capable of levelling entire city blocks with their bare hands, so make no assumptions about their appearances. They are THAT deadly.
- NOTE: Reports note that they've had personal dealings with one of Canada's kings in the past, and the sight of them is enough to make him surrender without a fight. Something to consider for future investments up further north.

Dethgov -- Ran by Nathan Explosion. Territories include Florida. The rule of Dethklok is paradoxical, but straightforward at the least; Metal rules. From their massive Mordehaus, the bandmates of Dethklok control legions of loyal Dethklokateers, who in turn are supported by the throbbing and thrashing hordes of the band's legions of fans, eager to serve their living gods no matter what cost. Spread across the state, there are numerous fortresses erected to hold their legions, each one a massive gothic cathedral of obsidian and iron, armed to the teeth with unholy amounts of weaponry. From these powerbases, the entire state of Florida is at the mercy of the band. And yet, not really much has changed, thanks to Mr. Explosion signing a land deal with the state's former governor (Governor "Plank 2x4") in ensuring reasonable boundaries for purchasing Florida.
- NOTE: It's still Florida, but... more honest? Just watch out for the demons flying above your head.

Ricky Falls -- Ran by Ricky Spanish. Territories include western Maryland. One of the deadliest kings in the United States, this Ricky Spanish is a literal ghost who appeared out of the blue one day in a city called Langley Falls, terrorizing the local populance. From there, he went on to do the same for all of Maryland west of the capital, enjoying spreading his cruel tendencies to anyone he sees: man or woman, child or elder, animals and aliens. No one is spared from the threat of--

"RIIIIIIIICKY SPAAAAAANISSSSSSH..."

- NOTE: Ricky has made his home out of the abandoned CIA headquarters outside of Langley, content on partying it up with a harem of sexy demon skanks and the foulest narcotics he can get his hands on.

Neitherworld -- Ran by Beetlejuice. Territories include Conneticut. Following Mandy's seizure of the Underworld, many ghosts, demons, and other supernatural creatures have flooded to the state of Conneticut as refugees to unite under the banner of one Beetlejuice's Neitherworld. In Neitherworld, there is one rule: There aren't any. The previously tight and iron-clad hold of Mandy is replaced by the wackiness and bizarre dealings of Beetlejuice, who scams the state's human and undead denizens for his own pleasure. Any attempt at 'logic' or 'reason' is dealt with by Beetlejuice himself, handing out humiliating punishments and/or executions for trying to restrict the fun of Neitherworld.
- NOTE: Most of the state's legal work is handled by some gothic woman who hangs around Beetlejuice as 'his best friend', along with a strangely macabre family that seem to have been pulled out of a different time era. But at least their humor is similar to my own, so no harm.

Paradigm City -- Ran by Alex Rosewater. Territories include parts of Maine. Appearing out of thin air one day, the man calling himself Alex Rosewater spent no time in establishing a foothold in Maine from his capital of Paradigm City. Seizing almost half of it from Rutopia's king, he has taken on a similar stance of isolation from the rest of the country while watching the wars unfold around him. However, with those pesky Gems poking at him from up north, it seems that desperate times may call for Mr. Rosewater to take desperate measures. Whatever those are.
- NOTE: Definitely a man out of time scenario, with Rosewater seeming to have no recollection of how exactly he materialized a futuristic city out of thin air. Then again... the same could be said for all of the others. Where did all of these kings come from?
  - ADDENDUM: WARNING! THIS INFORMATION HAS BEEN RESTRICTED PER ORDER OF MR. MAELLARD'S (FINAL!) FINAL WILL AND TESTAMENT. FURTHER INQUIRIES ABOUT IT ARE UNAVAILABLE.

Orchid Bay City -- Ran by Juniper Lee. Territories include several cities in central California. Citing to call herself mayor rather than king, this child has managed to keep the cities under her protection safe from supervillain and monster attacks on an almost weekly basis. Within these borders, life moves on, almost as if the world hadn't been flipped outside down around them. Juniper seems to act as the judge, jury, and (rarely) executioner all on her own, possessing enough skill and abilities to take up law enforcement's place in favor of them monitoring the streets of any lesser crimes. Definitely someone to keep an eye out for.
- NOTE: Supposedly, she's the magical guardian of humans and mythical creatures in her city, being some sort of balance between both worlds. Possessing such magic has brought unwanted attention onto her from her neighbors.

Wharf World -- Ran by Calvin Fischoeder. Territories include one county in New Jersey. I personally know Calvin Fischoeder, having done plenty of deals with him before in the past, and the man is as eccentric as they come. Nobody knows how he's been able to avoid the chaos consuming the rest of New Jersey, but he's been able to keep his part of the country safe from the madness around him. Mr. Fischoeder just spends most of his days harassing his little brother and the people under his rule over the minor of infractions, but nothing too severe. So long as he remains alive, Wharf World will remain intact.
- NOTE: A popular food chain in this area is an Italian joint called "Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria". Don't eat there, total lack of respect towards proper Italian cuisine. And don't get me started on the staff.

D.O.O.M.sville -- Ran by Voltar. Territories include one county in Idaho. Whether through divine luck or the gods turning a blind eye that day, the small little man calling himself Voltar won custody over the city of Metrotown (why call a city a town?) through some legal loophole, ensuring total control over the areas around it and its populance. And... that's it. Life pretty much continues as usual, save for Voltar broadcasting his latest evil schemes to the people on a daily night show called "Voltar: Coast to Coast". He is currently facing a pending lawsuit from Moltar for copyright infringement.
- NOTE: Voltar is stated to be Mandark's new "rival", having enraged the man by claiming the one state he previously had untouched until as of late. Mandark will stop at nothing to crush Voltar and his L.O.S.E. organization.

The Federal Government -- Ran by President "Mayor" Adam West. Territories include Philadelphia, and parts of Maryland and Ohio. This is the last remnant of the world you once knew when you left it; when there was order and semi-logic to the events unfolding around us. Now, it's been whittled down to a handful of states still loyal to the red-white-and-blue. Ever since the election of President "Mayor" Adam West following your departure to space, he has made blunder after blunder in dealing with the threats on his doorstep. When the Decepticons invaded Ohio, he was busy hunting down the delivery boy that messed up his Chinese take-out order, claiming it to be the work of a "Golly Gopher" trying to get into his head (I have no idea what that means too). His advisors are the only ones keeping this country from going to the dogs, and if you want an in with the government, they're the ones you should go to. Or, you know, you decide to take over the country yourself. Wouldn't make any difference in the long run.
- NOTE: The President used to be buddies with Rutopia's ruler, up until some adventure in Russia got famous actors Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd killed. Terrible shame, the talkies haven't been as funny since.

NOTE: I got the information about Dethgov's rule from the CN: VV spreadsheet, so apologies if it seems like cheating. But I was kinda pooped out from writing all of this already. :sad:

BensonQuest (RS/CN: VV)

Benson's Quest (Regular Show/Cartoon Network: Villains Victorious)

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

OogahBoogah

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks

Recent threadmarks