Plot: An attempt by the government to make cloned super soldiers runs into a mild snag when it turns out a loophole means they have to use all the DNA donated at least once or they can be sued. The eccentric, sitcom loving person in charge of the project grabs a random scientist and assigns her a new mission; living in a strange family unit with clones from the last few people whose DNA wasn't used to make super soldiers, who have each been artificially aged up into Various stages of life. Not really having a choice, The Scientist (Beatrice) settles in with her new "family" in the small town of Whyruhere, Kansas and antics ensue.
Bad Genes (Sitcom style Technical Multi-crossover)
- Thread starter Boohoo the 3rd
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User Total Boohoo the 3rd 3
Chapter 1: Of Nguyens and Garbage Bins (Part 1)
- Pronouns
- Female
<p>Main Cast:</p>
<p>Beatrice Gene- Sarcastic, easily annoyed and anti-social, Beatrice was arguably the worst person for this assignment. Despite her clear (and, even by the others' admission, fair) disdain for this situation, she at least has the decency to not take it out on her new "family" for the most part and they slowly but surely actually start to bond.</p>
<p>Eric Cartman (South Park) - Age "80". Cartman is pretty much his original, just in an old man's body and not as bigoted and manipulative. As in, he is still rather bigoted and manipulative, just not to the point of sociopathy and his bigotry will usually never extend past assuming stereotypes are accurate… usually.</p>
<p>Napoleon Dynamite (Napoleon Dynamite) - Age "55". The bumbling "dad" of the group to Beatrice's more straight-laced "mom". Napoleon can be airheaded and stubborn and has a tendency to be unintentionally insensitive, but he always means well and will go to great lengths to help his "kids" and even his "dad" Cartman (though even he obviously does have limits for the latter).</p>
<p>Louise Belcher (Bob's Burgers) - Age "20". A workaholic, Louise is the main money maker in the family since Beatrice's previous job in the government turned out to require her to have everything about her scrubbed from the system when she was moved here and they haven't fully set up her new identity yet. Louise is high strung and prone to panic and catastrophizing, a fact Charlie endlessly takes advantage of for his amusement, but she does ultimately enjoy her job and Is fiercely protective of her "siblings". It's a running gag what exactly Louise… does is completely ambiguous though, as there are countless details that make no sense to all be a part of the same job and some of these details even change enough the fact she gets paid a lot is the only sure fire consistency.</p>
<p>Charlie Dompler (Smiling Friends) - Age "13". Charlie is the living embodiment of the bratty teenage son trope: rude, seemingly ungrateful, overly sarcastic and prone to picking on his siblings. However, for all his negative traits, Charlie does have a hidden heart of gold: He loves animals, appreciates art, and while he can pick on his siblings he WILL kick the ass of anyone else who does so. He also is a rather talented musician, but since he likes pop music he keeps this to himself (and Alison, in one of the few things they appreciate together).</p>
<p>Alison Williams (Koala Man) - Age "11". A Naive, dorky goofball who frequently tries to be taken seriously and does not pick up on the perfectly fair reasons people choose not to. While socially awkward and unintelligent studies wise to the point of borderline disorder, Alison is very emotionally intelligent, often picking up on why people would feel a certain way before even they do and can come up with strangely insightful comments that are derived from her own weird logic.</p>
<p>Nurse Bendy (Moral Orel) - Age "6". Even more naive than Alison and a bit of a follower, Bendy practically worships the ground Alison and Charlie walk on, serving as the former's closest companion and the latter's most positive influence. Bendy is usually one to go with the flow and can even be rather prone to be quiet. Her most notable contributions are usually her ability to get Charlie and Alison to get along or do the right thing in a bid to not let her down.</p>
<p>Violet Hart (Bless the Harts) - Age "1". Needless to say, being a literal baby, Violet is usually the least involved in the family's antics and is more likely to be sleeping or eating than doing anything…. On the surface. It's a running gag that Violet is weirdly smart for a baby and gets into endless hijinks when not being watched by The rest of the family, Ranging from wandering the neighborhood to scam people to literally being the head of a local organized crime ring. Alison is the only one who seems aware of The scheming megalomaniac Violet is truly, though she wisely decides to not waste her time trying to reveal it, being genre savvy enough to know it would just result in her looking crazy for no real reason. Indeed, For all Violet's criminal scheming and world domination plans, she genuinely loves her family and would never purposefully harm them.</p>
<p>Beatrice Gene- Sarcastic, easily annoyed and anti-social, Beatrice was arguably the worst person for this assignment. Despite her clear (and, even by the others' admission, fair) disdain for this situation, she at least has the decency to not take it out on her new "family" for the most part and they slowly but surely actually start to bond.</p>
<p>Eric Cartman (South Park) - Age "80". Cartman is pretty much his original, just in an old man's body and not as bigoted and manipulative. As in, he is still rather bigoted and manipulative, just not to the point of sociopathy and his bigotry will usually never extend past assuming stereotypes are accurate… usually.</p>
<p>Napoleon Dynamite (Napoleon Dynamite) - Age "55". The bumbling "dad" of the group to Beatrice's more straight-laced "mom". Napoleon can be airheaded and stubborn and has a tendency to be unintentionally insensitive, but he always means well and will go to great lengths to help his "kids" and even his "dad" Cartman (though even he obviously does have limits for the latter).</p>
<p>Louise Belcher (Bob's Burgers) - Age "20". A workaholic, Louise is the main money maker in the family since Beatrice's previous job in the government turned out to require her to have everything about her scrubbed from the system when she was moved here and they haven't fully set up her new identity yet. Louise is high strung and prone to panic and catastrophizing, a fact Charlie endlessly takes advantage of for his amusement, but she does ultimately enjoy her job and Is fiercely protective of her "siblings". It's a running gag what exactly Louise… does is completely ambiguous though, as there are countless details that make no sense to all be a part of the same job and some of these details even change enough the fact she gets paid a lot is the only sure fire consistency.</p>
<p>Charlie Dompler (Smiling Friends) - Age "13". Charlie is the living embodiment of the bratty teenage son trope: rude, seemingly ungrateful, overly sarcastic and prone to picking on his siblings. However, for all his negative traits, Charlie does have a hidden heart of gold: He loves animals, appreciates art, and while he can pick on his siblings he WILL kick the ass of anyone else who does so. He also is a rather talented musician, but since he likes pop music he keeps this to himself (and Alison, in one of the few things they appreciate together).</p>
<p>Alison Williams (Koala Man) - Age "11". A Naive, dorky goofball who frequently tries to be taken seriously and does not pick up on the perfectly fair reasons people choose not to. While socially awkward and unintelligent studies wise to the point of borderline disorder, Alison is very emotionally intelligent, often picking up on why people would feel a certain way before even they do and can come up with strangely insightful comments that are derived from her own weird logic.</p>
<p>Nurse Bendy (Moral Orel) - Age "6". Even more naive than Alison and a bit of a follower, Bendy practically worships the ground Alison and Charlie walk on, serving as the former's closest companion and the latter's most positive influence. Bendy is usually one to go with the flow and can even be rather prone to be quiet. Her most notable contributions are usually her ability to get Charlie and Alison to get along or do the right thing in a bid to not let her down.</p>
<p>Violet Hart (Bless the Harts) - Age "1". Needless to say, being a literal baby, Violet is usually the least involved in the family's antics and is more likely to be sleeping or eating than doing anything…. On the surface. It's a running gag that Violet is weirdly smart for a baby and gets into endless hijinks when not being watched by The rest of the family, Ranging from wandering the neighborhood to scam people to literally being the head of a local organized crime ring. Alison is the only one who seems aware of The scheming megalomaniac Violet is truly, though she wisely decides to not waste her time trying to reveal it, being genre savvy enough to know it would just result in her looking crazy for no real reason. Indeed, For all Violet's criminal scheming and world domination plans, she genuinely loves her family and would never purposefully harm them.</p>
Episode Plot: After making an unexpected new friend, Alison finds herself having to take her and run for their lives when they accidentally enrage the school's toughest guy; Meanwhile, The adults must deal with Beatrice increasingly escalating things with their neighbors who have been using their garbage cans without permission.
----
We open on Charlie, Bendy and Alison standing around the bus stop.
"...So… Dad says the Spartans are coming to town." Alison tries to strike up a conversation.
"...What the hell are the Spartans?" Charlie asked.
"I don't know. Dad just said he read in the newspaper they were coming." Alison shrugged.
"That's weird. So, like, are they a band? An important family of some kind? Literal Spartans?" Charlie raised an eyebrow.
"I don't Friggin' know bro, I have the same amount of information as you."
"Well, you can't just say something about Spartans coming to town and just expect me to not have questions, dingus."
"...Your mom, dork."
"For the last time, Idiot, we have the same mom, that insult doesn't make sense when you use it on me!"
"What does your mom even mean when said like that anyways?" Bendy wondered.
"... I'll tell you when you're older." Charlie awkwardly coughed.
"Alrighty!"
Silence fell back over them.
"...I wonder what the adults are doing?" Bendy eventually added.
X
"Son, your… wife? Government Partner? Person who helps you? I don't Fucking know. Point is that damn woman is in one of her moods." Cartman called from the living room as Napoleon ate breakfast in the kitchen with Louise feeding Violet, who was secretly sharpening a knife when not being looked at.
"Dad, you really shouldn't word it like that." Napoleon pointed out.
"I'll say what I want!"
Beatrice stormed in.
"SOMEONE KEEPS PUTTING THEIR GARBAGE IN OUR CANS!"
The others gasp in shock like this was the worst thing they have ever heard.
"WE'RE DOOMED! MASS HYSTERIA! CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER, HAVING PREMARITAL-" Louise screeched, before getting smacked by Violet. "...thank you."
X
Back with the kids, they were exiting the bus to enter school.
A quartet of obvious school bullies approach Alison with smirks as she separates from Charlie (who clearly is looking to do this as quickly as possible) and Bendy (who cries in dismay as she always does when having to separate from her siblings).
"Hey, loser. I hear there's a quiz today. Can't wait to see you fail." The leader cackled.
"Yeah!" Two of The others add.
"Yeah, what a re-" the last one starts, but is quickly interrupted by the other three gasping and saying "Whoa!" A bunch.
"What? What?" The last guy complained.
"Jesus man. Not - not cool. We're bullies but this ain't the 80s. You can't just… say that. Like, come on man. Not cool." The leader scolded.
"Sorry Alison, he's new." One of the other two added, looking comically aghast considering they had just been openly bullying her.
"Yeah, no, don't worry. He'll get it. Though I think this is making us late, we might have to reschedule to the lunch period." Alison casually stated, as if discussing business plans.
"Yeah I should be able to squeeze that in." The leader added.
"See ya! Have a happy Valentine's day and all that. If you celebrate, seems some people aren't anymore due to corporations' excessive pressuring people to find love around this time." The last of the usual trio mused.
"Tell me about it. See ya."
Alison walks away as the usual trio wave her off. The new guy stares in utter bafflement.
"....What the hell kind of bullies are we?"
X
Beatrice reenters the house after having left, scowling.
"Hey honey." Napoleon says, lazing on the armchair In his underwear.
"Napoleon, stop being a stereotypical bumbling dad and get your keys! We're going to buy stuff for my inventions!" Beatrice roared as she Continued on.
"... Hoo boy." Napoleon sighed. "...Louise, can you get me my pants? They're too far…"
"No Dad. I'm working online." Louise called from her room.
"... Didn't she mention something involving animals and balloons last week? How can she do that online?" Cartman asked. Napoleon shrugged.
"...What the hell IS her job?" Cartman added, only getting another shrug.
Violet unhelpfully babbles in the corner, finishing sharpening her knife and wondering if she should leave it out for her mom to grab if things really escalate.
X
It was history class, everyone was quite bored as the teacher droned on.
"Ok, here's an easy one. Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in the year…?" He asked. Only Alison raised her hand, and he is blatantly desperate for someone else to do so. After a full two minutes, he sighed.
"Alison?"
"1992. Boom. Easy." She said with complete confidence.
"...You believe Christopher Columbus had his expeditions… only 31 years ago?" The teacher deadpanned. Alison clearly realized her mess up.
"... That's still history?" She attempted to save face. Needless to say, everyone burst out laughing, except one shy-looking girl in the back, who looked on with an unreadable expression.
X
It was lunch and Alison was eating alone as per usual. The aforementioned girl nervously sat down across from her.
"... I'm Lucy. Lucy Nguyen." She awkwardly introduced herself.
"... Alison Williams. You're new right? I think you're lost." Alison raised an eyebrow.
"No. Uh. I wanted to sit here. I, er, saw you in class today."
Alison rolled her eyes and sipped her lemonade as she prepared to be roasted.
"...I wish I could be that confident."
Alison did a spit take. Thankfully, Lucy had not sat directly across from Alison so the drink just barely misses hitting her.
"I know you were wrong, but you said it with such…. Faith in yourself and your abilities. And at least tried to save face instead of folding when you were wrong. I wish I could do that." Lucy kept going, trying not to lose her nerve enough to not even comment on the spit take.
"Oh. I'm sure you could. You're clearly nervous about it but you're talking to me! You just need the right friends and the right situations and you'll evolve into a beautiful social caterpillar!"
"... You mean a social butterfly?"
"Naw. Butterflies are overrated."
Lucy gives a genuine smile… before a roaring is heard. They turn to see… a clear stereotypical Greek Gladiator? With a wet head.
"YOU FOOLS! I AM JOE SPARTAN AND YOU HAVE ENRAGED ME GREATLY!"
"...Ohhhhh. I-I get it now. It was, uh, like, actual Spartans AND a family thing." Bendy commented from nearby.
"Huh. Guess I owe you five bucks sis." Charlie added, amused.
"Yay!" Bendy cheered.
Chapter 2: Of Nguyens and Garbage Bins (Part 2)
- Pronouns
- Female
"Hey man, sorry about this! It was a total accident I swear!" Alison promised. Joe ignored her and pulled out a sword.
"Whoa, how the hell did he get a friggin' sword on school grounds!?" A random kid yelped.
"I dunno. School security can be weirdly lax." A second one added.
"NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR POLITICAL COMMENTARY! IT'S TIME FOR A DUEL FOR MY HONOR!" Joe shouted.
"Dude, calm the fuck down, She got a drink on-" Charlie started, stepping in due to seeing how much this was escalating… only to get grabbed by the arm and slammed back first into the table Lucy and Alison were sitting at with so much force it broke.
"....Yeah, no, sis, I can't stop this guy you might wanna run for it." Charlie stated simply.
"RUNNNNNNNN!" Lucy shouted as she and Alison floored it.
"FACE ME COWARD!" Joe followed with a loud bellow.
"... Charlie, should I call the school nurse?" Bendy asked.
"No, I think I need a friggin' hospital, the- the guy, like, freakin' shattered my spine and dislocated my arm or something." Charlie stated, still rather calm.
".... You're taking that super well!" Bendy smiled.
"...I think I might be going into shock."
X
Meanwhile, Beatrice put a robotic guard dog near their garbage cans.
"You know, robot dogs are a little extreme, but refreshingly, not to the point I was expecting." Napoleon sighs in relief. The dog then grew Gatling guns and sonic weapons.
"...And there it is. Look, Beatrice, I.. I think maybe this is an overreaction? I dunno, it's pretty scummy what they're doing but does it justify.. you know… potential murder?" He tried to reason.
"Yes."
"...Ah. Well, uh, ok then."
X
"HOW!? HOW THE FUCK DID THEY DO IT!?" Beatrice screeched from outside.
"Dad, you gotta do something. She's technically still a government official! If she kills someone she'll… ok she'll probably just get paid leave and a bad reputation but no further repercussions but still!" Louise pleaded.
"Honey, one, we already used our allotted town's political commentary… apparently." Napoleon gestures to a nearby grandfather clock style device that measured such a thing. "and two, come on. Your mom is upset, but she's not gonna do anything too drastic."
"She openly admitted to being perfectly fine with murdering them." Cartman pointed out.
".. Look, she scares me." Napoleon whined.
"Fucking pussy." Violet deadpanned. The other three stared at her.
"Goo Goo ga ga." Violet sighed.
"...man, why do we keep thinking Violet said things?" Louise wondered.
"Beats me. Anyways, son, Stop being a pussy And go talk to Beatrice." Cartman added.
"FINE! Gosh…" Napoleon leaves with a whine.
X
Lucy and Alison continue to run for their lives from Joe, screaming their heads off.
"Hey Alison, we're late but-" the head bully from earlier comments as He shows up.
"SORRY MAN, LATER!" Alison runs past, holding Lucy protectively. Joe runs past too, screeching.
"...What the hell was that?" One of the others asked.
"Ha. Probably going to beat up the little dork and her Chinese food girlfriend. gay, am I right?" The new bully laughed.
".... Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" The last guy sighed. Joe promptly Doubles back and kicks the new guy in the Privates.
"AH! M'DICK!" he sobbed.
"RESPECT OTHER CULTURES AND SEXUALITIES DUMBASS!" Joe shouted before continuing on.
X
Alison and Lucy are hiding in the Janitor's closet as Joe skulks about.
"SHOW YOURSELF! I ONLY WISH TO DESTROY THE ONE THEY CALL ALISON TO RESTORE MY HONOR!" Joe shouted.
"...Wait. He just wants me. Lucy, you gotta stay here." Alison stated.
"What? No! He'll kill you!" Lucy protested.
"Yeah, he might do the same to you! Look, you reached out to me and seeked my friendship. This is my friendship! NAME A CATERPILLAR AFTER ME!" Alison shouted, jumping out.
"You want me? Come get m-"
X
Alison wakes up in the hospital.
"...Did I win?" She asked.
"No. I think he individually broke every bone in your body except the ones you would need to talk." Charlie stated in the bed next to her.
"...Ah. Well I'm alive at least."
"Yeah, that's something."
There is a moment of silence.
"...Lucy seems nice. Hopefully she becomes a recurring character… in our lives." Alison stated, winking at the readers.
"...What?" Charlie raised an eyebrow.
"I might have a concussion."
"Ah, yeah, getting your head stomped on will do that to ya."
X
Beatrice was straight up building a gun when Napoleon entered.
"...Honey, I say this as someone who loves you but also doesn't support murder, please do not shoot our neighbors." Napoleon asked.
"IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING! THEY'RE WALKING ALL OVER NOT JUST ME, BUT PEOPLE I SORT OF LIKE!" Beatrice shouted.
"...You sort of like us?" Napoleon seemed to regard this with the same level of appreciation as if she just said the others were more important than oxygen to her.
"Wha- Of course I do, man. This situation is nuts and you all range from Eccentric to borderline mental cases, but… it's not all bad. You are decent overall. I don't like it when I get taken advantage of, let alone others I Tolerate and sometimes enjoy the company of to a degree."
"...Honey, I'll get the body hiding kit LOUISE, DAD, WATCH VIOLET, ME AND BEATRICE ARE GONNA BE LATE TONIGHT, WE'RE GONNA KILL THE NEIGHBORS!"
Back in the living room, Louise face palmed.
"....My son is an idiot and this day has been utter chaos." Cartman summed everything up.
Violet giggled, enjoying The chaos but obviously just being assumed to be doing it for no reason as this episode comes to a close.
"Whoa, how the hell did he get a friggin' sword on school grounds!?" A random kid yelped.
"I dunno. School security can be weirdly lax." A second one added.
"NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR POLITICAL COMMENTARY! IT'S TIME FOR A DUEL FOR MY HONOR!" Joe shouted.
"Dude, calm the fuck down, She got a drink on-" Charlie started, stepping in due to seeing how much this was escalating… only to get grabbed by the arm and slammed back first into the table Lucy and Alison were sitting at with so much force it broke.
"....Yeah, no, sis, I can't stop this guy you might wanna run for it." Charlie stated simply.
"RUNNNNNNNN!" Lucy shouted as she and Alison floored it.
"FACE ME COWARD!" Joe followed with a loud bellow.
"... Charlie, should I call the school nurse?" Bendy asked.
"No, I think I need a friggin' hospital, the- the guy, like, freakin' shattered my spine and dislocated my arm or something." Charlie stated, still rather calm.
".... You're taking that super well!" Bendy smiled.
"...I think I might be going into shock."
X
Meanwhile, Beatrice put a robotic guard dog near their garbage cans.
"You know, robot dogs are a little extreme, but refreshingly, not to the point I was expecting." Napoleon sighs in relief. The dog then grew Gatling guns and sonic weapons.
"...And there it is. Look, Beatrice, I.. I think maybe this is an overreaction? I dunno, it's pretty scummy what they're doing but does it justify.. you know… potential murder?" He tried to reason.
"Yes."
"...Ah. Well, uh, ok then."
X
"HOW!? HOW THE FUCK DID THEY DO IT!?" Beatrice screeched from outside.
"Dad, you gotta do something. She's technically still a government official! If she kills someone she'll… ok she'll probably just get paid leave and a bad reputation but no further repercussions but still!" Louise pleaded.
"Honey, one, we already used our allotted town's political commentary… apparently." Napoleon gestures to a nearby grandfather clock style device that measured such a thing. "and two, come on. Your mom is upset, but she's not gonna do anything too drastic."
"She openly admitted to being perfectly fine with murdering them." Cartman pointed out.
".. Look, she scares me." Napoleon whined.
"Fucking pussy." Violet deadpanned. The other three stared at her.
"Goo Goo ga ga." Violet sighed.
"...man, why do we keep thinking Violet said things?" Louise wondered.
"Beats me. Anyways, son, Stop being a pussy And go talk to Beatrice." Cartman added.
"FINE! Gosh…" Napoleon leaves with a whine.
X
Lucy and Alison continue to run for their lives from Joe, screaming their heads off.
"Hey Alison, we're late but-" the head bully from earlier comments as He shows up.
"SORRY MAN, LATER!" Alison runs past, holding Lucy protectively. Joe runs past too, screeching.
"...What the hell was that?" One of the others asked.
"Ha. Probably going to beat up the little dork and her Chinese food girlfriend. gay, am I right?" The new bully laughed.
".... Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" The last guy sighed. Joe promptly Doubles back and kicks the new guy in the Privates.
"AH! M'DICK!" he sobbed.
"RESPECT OTHER CULTURES AND SEXUALITIES DUMBASS!" Joe shouted before continuing on.
X
Alison and Lucy are hiding in the Janitor's closet as Joe skulks about.
"SHOW YOURSELF! I ONLY WISH TO DESTROY THE ONE THEY CALL ALISON TO RESTORE MY HONOR!" Joe shouted.
"...Wait. He just wants me. Lucy, you gotta stay here." Alison stated.
"What? No! He'll kill you!" Lucy protested.
"Yeah, he might do the same to you! Look, you reached out to me and seeked my friendship. This is my friendship! NAME A CATERPILLAR AFTER ME!" Alison shouted, jumping out.
"You want me? Come get m-"
X
Alison wakes up in the hospital.
"...Did I win?" She asked.
"No. I think he individually broke every bone in your body except the ones you would need to talk." Charlie stated in the bed next to her.
"...Ah. Well I'm alive at least."
"Yeah, that's something."
There is a moment of silence.
"...Lucy seems nice. Hopefully she becomes a recurring character… in our lives." Alison stated, winking at the readers.
"...What?" Charlie raised an eyebrow.
"I might have a concussion."
"Ah, yeah, getting your head stomped on will do that to ya."
X
Beatrice was straight up building a gun when Napoleon entered.
"...Honey, I say this as someone who loves you but also doesn't support murder, please do not shoot our neighbors." Napoleon asked.
"IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING! THEY'RE WALKING ALL OVER NOT JUST ME, BUT PEOPLE I SORT OF LIKE!" Beatrice shouted.
"...You sort of like us?" Napoleon seemed to regard this with the same level of appreciation as if she just said the others were more important than oxygen to her.
"Wha- Of course I do, man. This situation is nuts and you all range from Eccentric to borderline mental cases, but… it's not all bad. You are decent overall. I don't like it when I get taken advantage of, let alone others I Tolerate and sometimes enjoy the company of to a degree."
"...Honey, I'll get the body hiding kit LOUISE, DAD, WATCH VIOLET, ME AND BEATRICE ARE GONNA BE LATE TONIGHT, WE'RE GONNA KILL THE NEIGHBORS!"
Back in the living room, Louise face palmed.
"....My son is an idiot and this day has been utter chaos." Cartman summed everything up.
Violet giggled, enjoying The chaos but obviously just being assumed to be doing it for no reason as this episode comes to a close.
Chapter 3: Talent Show... OF DESPAIR (Part 1)
- Pronouns
- Female
We open on the kids standing around the bus stop once more.
"...I want a pet dingodile." Alison stated.
"For the last time, doofus, that's not a real animal. It was a made up one for some 90s platformer." Charlie argued.
"Have you ever been to Australia? How would you know? And I'm Cloned from an Australian so I automatically know more than you." Alison sticks her tongue out.
"Checks out to me." Bendy smiled.
"....There is so much wrong with that sentence I don't think I can reasonably argue against it." Charlie deadpanned.
X
Meanwhile, at home, Cartman is reading the newspaper.
"Jose, Can you get me a sandwich?" Cartman asked their new "butler"... AKA a random Mexican guy Cartman had dragged in upon finding him fixing their fences unasked and assuming he worked for them.
"My name is Jeff." He said in annoyance.
"I am not paying you for your conversation, Jose."
"Dad, stop harassing Mexicans." Napoleon called from the couch.
"IT'S A FREE COUNTRY!" Cartman snapped.
"Guys, guys, stop being racially insensitive and listen to this! It's a talent show!" Louise burst in. Violet blew a raspberry to indicate what she thought of everyone's talent.
"Hardy har har. But seriously! There's a prize of an eagle and 3,000,000 dollars!" Louise excitedly said.
"3,000,000 DOLLARS!?" Beatrice choked on her coffee.
"AN EAGLE!?" Napoleon gasped.
"Can I go home?" Jeff asked.
"Not now Jose!" Cartman snapped. Jeff's eye twitched. Violet slipped notes on the perfect way to grievously harm Cartman just enough to not kill him into Jeff's pocket.
"This is perfect! We all enter separately and therefore have a much higher chance of success!" Beatrice exclaimed.
"Oh boy! We're gonna have an eagle!" Napoleon cheered.
"Shut up about the eagle, Napoleon." Beatrice sighed.
"NEVERRRRRRRRRR!"
"Should I call Alison to tell Bendy and Charlie?" Louise asked.
"What about her education?" Cartman asked.
There is a moment of silence. Everyone promptly bursts out laughing hysterically.
X
"And that is why 2+ 2 = 4 but will never equal 22. Even if that would be pretty funny." Alison announced to the class.
"... Alison, this is science class." The teacher said in annoyance.
"Ah. Well, measurements can be a part of science." Alison argued.
"We were discussing the periodic table."
"... dang."
"Please sit down."
"But I didn't get to finish the question! I was about to tell you about the element of Weirdonium!"
A ringing is heard.
"Whoa! It's my mom! Quick, to the Alisonmobile!" Alison proceeds to jump out a window. A car alarm is soon heard, followed by Alison shouting "THAT WAS NOT A GOOD DECISION!"
"... Charlie, please go make sure your sister didn't just shatter all her bo-"
"Already on it, teach."
"Thank you."
"...I want a pet dingodile." Alison stated.
"For the last time, doofus, that's not a real animal. It was a made up one for some 90s platformer." Charlie argued.
"Have you ever been to Australia? How would you know? And I'm Cloned from an Australian so I automatically know more than you." Alison sticks her tongue out.
"Checks out to me." Bendy smiled.
"....There is so much wrong with that sentence I don't think I can reasonably argue against it." Charlie deadpanned.
X
Meanwhile, at home, Cartman is reading the newspaper.
"Jose, Can you get me a sandwich?" Cartman asked their new "butler"... AKA a random Mexican guy Cartman had dragged in upon finding him fixing their fences unasked and assuming he worked for them.
"My name is Jeff." He said in annoyance.
"I am not paying you for your conversation, Jose."
"Dad, stop harassing Mexicans." Napoleon called from the couch.
"IT'S A FREE COUNTRY!" Cartman snapped.
"Guys, guys, stop being racially insensitive and listen to this! It's a talent show!" Louise burst in. Violet blew a raspberry to indicate what she thought of everyone's talent.
"Hardy har har. But seriously! There's a prize of an eagle and 3,000,000 dollars!" Louise excitedly said.
"3,000,000 DOLLARS!?" Beatrice choked on her coffee.
"AN EAGLE!?" Napoleon gasped.
"Can I go home?" Jeff asked.
"Not now Jose!" Cartman snapped. Jeff's eye twitched. Violet slipped notes on the perfect way to grievously harm Cartman just enough to not kill him into Jeff's pocket.
"This is perfect! We all enter separately and therefore have a much higher chance of success!" Beatrice exclaimed.
"Oh boy! We're gonna have an eagle!" Napoleon cheered.
"Shut up about the eagle, Napoleon." Beatrice sighed.
"NEVERRRRRRRRRR!"
"Should I call Alison to tell Bendy and Charlie?" Louise asked.
"What about her education?" Cartman asked.
There is a moment of silence. Everyone promptly bursts out laughing hysterically.
X
"And that is why 2+ 2 = 4 but will never equal 22. Even if that would be pretty funny." Alison announced to the class.
"... Alison, this is science class." The teacher said in annoyance.
"Ah. Well, measurements can be a part of science." Alison argued.
"We were discussing the periodic table."
"... dang."
"Please sit down."
"But I didn't get to finish the question! I was about to tell you about the element of Weirdonium!"
A ringing is heard.
"Whoa! It's my mom! Quick, to the Alisonmobile!" Alison proceeds to jump out a window. A car alarm is soon heard, followed by Alison shouting "THAT WAS NOT A GOOD DECISION!"
"... Charlie, please go make sure your sister didn't just shatter all her bo-"
"Already on it, teach."
"Thank you."