Chapter 11 - Saotome and Himura
Strawberry
Dessert Faerie
- Location
- Derbyshire, UK
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Chapter 11 - Saotome and Himura
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like you've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
- "Pompeii" by Bastille
Himura Nodoka, in the words of one of her most recent houseguests – a girl whose attitude could best be described as 'Indifferent to politeness' and at worst 'extremely uncouth' (in Nodoka's frame of reference), has had a shitty three months.
The diminutive pinkette with the curled bunches leads her from the Nekohanten and down the street. Holding the tiny hand in her own, the other holding the bag with the photograph wallet and bentou box in it, she feels… warm. Like something great has wrapped itself about her.
The pink eyes look at her warmly. "I am called Berry, Miss Himura."
"Call me N-Nodoka, please, Berry-sama."
The tiny goddess giggles. "There's no need to be so formal, child. Just Berry will do."
Somehow in the intervening time, they've walked between Nerima and Juuban… or teleported. But Nodoka finds herself outside of her old house, and she welcomes the pair in. Rachel's stayed quiet, but Berry has kept a constant chatter, a smile on her face as she asks Nodoka about the girls she helped raise.
Eventually they find themselves in the Family Room with tea and snacks and Nodoka frowns.
"Why did you bring me home? I haven't had half the answers I needed."
Rachel's been idly tossing what looks like strawberry laces wrapped around a thread bobbin like you'd find on a sewing machine. "This has the rest of them."
"What is it?"
"Your memories. A whole other Nodoka's life."
Nodoka stares. "…This is to do with that girl, Ranko, isn't it?"
Berry smiles sadly and sips her tea. "Yes. Know this, Nodoka. I'm a goddess. My friend here's an angel on the cusp of apotheosis. We aren't from this universe. We kind of… hop around a bit. Go where we're needed. We started off as magical girls and sort-of… grew from there."
Nodoka stares. "Kami-sama. She called you that…"
"She's right." The pinkette shrugs. "I'm a very powerful goddess too. I had an… incident with this universe. A moon got blown up and, well, I could have left, but I don't like leaving problems behind, so I offered them my work. I can do wish fulfilment if needed. As someone who during her magical girlhood was primarily support… Well, I'm good at facilitating needs."
Rachel nods. "Berry here's all of our mum, auntie and crazy big sister." She grins with those sharp teeth. "Well, everyone's little big sister."
Berry giggles. "Quite. Well, the Bureaucracy that runs this world accepted my offer and I did what I'd term community service. Ranko was my last wish to fulfil, and frankly…" Her face hardens. "They forced me into it using our contract. As something like a concept, you understand my word is binding. She used the words 'I wish' and I was compelled to complete it." Berry wipes her eyes.
"Fucking assholeish fucks who'll fuckin' get theirs." Rachel mutters. Nodoka blinks at the profanity. Rachel shrugs at her look. "So I swear, deal with it."
"Rachel…" Berry warns. "At least try to be polite."
The auburn-haired, purple-eyed girl rolls her eyes as Bob chirps an affirmative. "Yeah, yeah."
"Anyway. I will be taking my displeasure on the Bureaucracy, but that'll come after I've done what I can. I was working on this and Ranko makes a wish. Her best friend, a girl she only just made up with, lost her mother when she was very little and it stained her emotions, her life."
Nodoka nods.
"Ranko wished her friend's mother back to life. But all wishes have their prices."
"And what was hers?"
"I need you to understand." Berry's voice is pleading, sad, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I told her the price. I told her, I made sure she knew the horror and she did it anyway. The price was her existence."
"Her… existence?"
"Yes. Everything that was her – memories, records, the world around her, the influence she had on the world… All of that was fuel for the fire." The pinkette snaps her fingers as she had with Ranko and another her simply appears in a puff of pink smoke. "It'd be like she appeared just like this." They chorus before the second one fades away.
Nodoka puts her hand to her mouth. "Sh-she really is my daughter?"
Berry nods. "Oh yes. It's… a touch more complicated. You'll know if you accept the memories, but she is indeed your child. In this version of the world you had a miscarriage and, well, you know the rest. In that version you gave birth to a healthy, bouncing baby."
Nodoka sniffles, tears pouring down her face. "Oh, why? Why would she do that to herself?"
Rachel sighs. "She hates herself." The brunette says. "There was an… incident, which caused some very rapid changes in her, followed by a few weeks of… Well, I'm calling it full-on abuse. While she was still sort-of forming a new personality. She hasn't got good self-esteem… Probably made worse by isolation lately. I'd help more but me and Berry we're… bound. There's only so much we can do. I push the limits where I can but…"
Berry gets up and walks to Nodoka, enveloping the much taller woman in a gentle hug. "There, there, dear. We're trying to fix as much as we can. But it'll take time."
Nodoka chokes a few sobs out, but masters herself quickly, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry." She says softly. Berry smiles at her.
"Don't be. Love and compassion should never be apologised for."
Nodoka looks to the strawberry lace on the bobbin. "So, this… this is… that other me?"
"Yes. When I was granting the wish, rather than pushing purely Ranko's power in, I extracted this and used a curse she had gained to add a little extra fuel, plus the tiniest thread of my own power which allows me to interfere more regards this particular thread."
Nodoka stares at it. "How do I take it in?" She demands, turning to the pink-haired goddess. Berry holds a hand up.
"In due time. First you need to know how it will be."
"How it…?"
"It will take months to assimilate all of this, and you won't exactly be the same. You'll watch the memories, experience them. And when it comes down to it, you'll have a choice. To be an amalgamation of the Nodoka that is in them and is you, to be you with the extra memories, or to be her with your memories, and it'll be up to you. Both of you."
Nodoka stares. "That's… a lot. Will I be able to work?"
"No. You'll be delirious most of the time – I and Rachel can take care of you and your house during that time. We know you've no real plans coming up, so this is good timing."
Nodoka looks at the bobbin, the strawberry lace glistening a little. She swallows. "Let's do it." She says, eyes going to the open photo wallet, the picture of Ranko and her smiling staring at her. "I want to meet my daughter."
Rachel grins. "Good. I've got to work on Akane in the sidelines when the bureaucracy isn't watching, get her to find the girl. She's a good girl, but my limited ability to interfere is worse when I'm being actively suppressed. If I were Berry's level… Well, maybe not. She's limited by contracts. I'm less limited. But I can only do so much."
Nodoka reaches to the bobbin, picking it up. It feels heavy, significant. She stares at it. "…How do I… use it?"
Berry giggles. "It's been created by me from the spell, how else would you think to use it? Eat it!"
Nodoka takes the lace and unwraps it from the bobbin, then somehow fits it into her mouth, chewing it. It tastes of strawberry and regret and honour and…
Unaware of the physical body currently having fits on the floor of her house while Rachel and Berry look after her, the mind and spirit of Himura Nodoka fly inward, seeking the intrusion into her self of a familiar one. She comes face to face with an older-looking, sadder-looking Saotome Nodoka, who's watching her with a weary expression.
As if by mutual consent, the two find themselves kneeling by the table in her old house's family room. Himura looks at Saotome and they both nod. "Hello." They say at the same time, and then titter in the same cadence.
Himura's dressed in her 'lounging' clothes – a house dress not unlike that which Kasumi wears. Saotome is, as always, in her formal kimono, even if it's her own 'lounging' kimono, for all that she lounges.
"Oh my," Saotome says, looking around. "Yours is much barer than mine, and yet feels more alive."
Himura sighs. "You lived in yours alone. I lived with the Tendou family and rented the place."
Saotome nods, an ache of pain flitting across her face. "Yes. I suppose if you let it out to families, the spirit of the house would be more positive."
Himura looks about the room as it shifts to the busier and yet emptier Saotome version. "Well, at least you managed to have her. What was it like?"
"Painful." Says Saotome, a smile gracing her lips. "But joyous. Holding Ranma was a gift I'm ashamed to say I squandered when he was very small."
Himura stares. "But wasn't this about Ranko?"
"Ranko, hm? 'Orchid Child'? How sweet she'd choose that name. She is a beautiful wildflower."
"We're not making sense. 'Ranma'?"
Saotome looks to Himura and smiles sadly. "Let me tell you the tale of how I gained a son, lost that son and gained a daughter, and loved both of them with all my heart." She picks up a remote that appears on the table.
Himura is treated to their life in full. Every agonising second by minute by hour by day by month by year by decade. She notes the big divergence being the miscarriage.
At the same time, she can see a flicker of the screen, as if Saotome is watching a different show – her version of life, she assumes.
When it is done, she feels no older and yet much older. "That was…"
"Yes…" Saotome replies, rubbing her forehead. "Your life was so much better."
"You had your baby."
"Not really. You saw." Saotome rejoins softly and Himura nods.
"I suppose we both have a hole in our lives. Oh Saotome, she's so beautiful."
Saotome smiles at her other self. "Isn't she? I remember Ryouga-kun telling me her name and my shock when he told me of the curse. And then she awoke and I could tell something had changed – the poor boy was very confused by how polite she was. And she was. So, so polite and – she comforted me! A strange lady, a woman she had no knowledge of who she was, and she comforted me like it was the most natural thing in the world. I was so proud I might burst!" Her face falls. "And then she made that wish."
Himura closes her eyes. "I saw her, Saotome." She says, pain in her voice, anguish in her heart. "I saw her, a pretty young thing who just looked at me, heartbroken. And the sounds she made. I've never heard a person sound that wounded in my life, and I don't ever want to again."
"You have to find her, Himura." Saotome says, nodding and putting a hand on her other self's shoulder. "Find her, love her, bring her home. Even if your home is the Tendou Dojo, it's home and she needs it. She needs to know she's loved, she needs someone who recognises her."
"You? Don't you mean 'We'?"
Saotome shakes her head. "No, Himura, my world's gone. As much as it might be nice to be part of someone new, I think I'm best leaving you with my memories and feelings, but still being you. You've had sixteen years of raising three wonderful girls, now to be four, and you're in a better place than me. I think I'd rather just be a voice whispering in your memories than being there."
Himura drags her other self into a hug and holds her close. "If you're sure." She says.
"On my honour." Saotome says. "The old must give way to the new while imparting wisdom." She chuckles and then dissolves into white light.
Nodoka wakes on a futon in the living room, her head pounding, her mind flashing through two sets of memories. A cool, damp cloth is on her forehead and she wonders if this is how Ranko felt when she first woke up all those months ag-
"Ranko!" Nodoka sits up straight, the cloth from her forehead. She remembers! She makes to stand but only falls flat onto her front a moment, before sitting back up. Remembering anything else makes her head hurt a little. It's like closing each eye and seeing a different picture out of the other at times. "Ugh, this is not fun…"
"That will fade with time." Berry says gently, reaching down to grasp Nodoka's hand and help her up.
"I hope so." Nodoka says with a grimace. "Else it won't be good to keep everything straight. But I remember everything clearly about my daughter." She finishes. "That isn't two different memories. How long was I…?"
"Three months." Rachel shrugs, handing over the photo wallet and bentou in the shopping bag.
"Three… months?"
Nodoka's mind catches up with the vision and the real-world happenings. She remembers waking occasionally and vomiting everything she had been fed. She remembers migraines in her waking hours that felt like her brain was being squeezed to mush. She remembers screaming and crying and horror and terror and begging for it to end, just please end it. Visions of her daughter dying in some hole somewhere.
Somehow she thought the vision of her other self was one continuous one, but her memories are jumbled, doubled, messed up. Migraine pain flash-fries her senses a moment, the memory of the hell that the last three months has actually been replacing the calm and gentle vision, though somehow that is still there.
Rachel doesn't seem to notice or doesn't care for the emotions running through the older woman.
"Yeah. Long time, but it takes a while to settle. And it's never pleasant. We've kept you sorted, fed and well."
Nodoka clutches her head and cries, falling to her knees. She cries for her self from that other world, so sad. Having had the opportunity to have a baby she was denied and still losing that baby to Genma's idiocy. She grits her teeth as a vision she'd repressed flows into her. Ranko, lying on her side, clutching those pyjamas her other self had bought on her first night in the house as if they were a lifeline. As if they were all she had left.
Words, haunting, terrible words echoing through the world, screaming in silence for her mother.
It takes a few hours for her to calm down, and then her head snaps up. "Where is she? Where's my daughter?"
Berry smiles at her. "I think you know. Akane got her, Nodoka. She rescued her. On the verge, but I… caused a distraction with the Bureaucracy and Rachel was able to intervene. They saw her at the last but I threatened them again.
"I have to go there."
"Yes."
Nodoka notes she's in her house kimono. A very specific one. "Did you know I'd wake up today?" She asks. It's the same one she wore the day Ranko came back into her life with Ryouga.
Berry giggles. "I had an inkling. Now. Are you going to get going?"
Her answer is a blur whipping out of the door. The pinkette stands and motions to Rachel. "Let's clean up and lock up. Our work here's pretty much done."
Rachel lets out an explosive sigh. "Thank fuck for that. Next world that tries to limit me from helping gets its deities torn to pieces."
For the first time in years, Nodoka roof-hops as soon as she gets to Nerima. She's not done it, but she's desperate to see Ranko, to make sure she's awake. The two girls had told her during the time she was recovering that Ranko'd very nearly starved to death and she'd found herself shaking the tiny pinkette who just let it happen.
Rachel's yelling about their limitations shook her out of her rage, the very real grief that the two supernatural entities experienced clearly matching her own. Berry's face had darkened when she'd explained how some of the local kami had stopped her, the coldness in those normally-warm pink eyes promising some very unpleasant times.
Nodoka doesn't care. She's going to see her baby.
People were already avoiding the dishevelled, crazed-looking, kimono-wearing, auburn-haired woman nervously shuffling on the train, muttering under her breath for the damned thing to speed up.
Once free of public transport, it's in record time that the windswept woman makes her way, leaps over the dojo wall and lands in front of the genkan, frantically knocking and ringing the bell.
Kimiko opens it and for a moment Nodoka is struck by a memory of crying over her friend's death or mourning her and not being able to face helping look after the girls while Ranko was off on that trip.
"Kimiko, where is she?" Nodoka seizes her best friend's shoulders. Kimiko looks curious. "And… you're alive!" Her arms go around Kimiko and she crushes her best friend to her in a rough embrace. "Oh, it's so good to see you!"
"Where is who, No-chan? You're kinda scaring me."
Nodoka lets go and takes in a breath. "Sorry." She says, removing her shoes at the genkan as Kimiko lets her in. "Sorry I…" She looks Kimiko in the eyes. "I know this will sound crazy, but my daughter."
Kimiko gasps. "R-Ranko?"
Nodoka looks. "Where is she, Kimiko?"
"Sh-she's upstairs, come o-"
Nodoka moves like the wind, flowing around Kimiko and up the stairs before she has chance to say anything.
Akane watches and then dashes along with her mother and stops at the entrance to the guestroom as they watch the reunion.
Ranko lies still on the futon in the guestroom, staring emptily up at the ceiling. She should sleep, she's been told to sleep, but she can't sleep. All that's going through her mind is how much she shouldn't be here. How much she just wants to die and be done with it but promises keep her here, keep her suffering.
She still can't cry, can't bring herself to feel anything other than the numbness that's settled around her like a straitjacket.
The door slides open, but she can't even muster the energy to look until a familiar voice speaks up.
"Ranko?"
The voice sounds horrified and it's probably her appearance. She knows she isn't any kind of good surprise and… wait.
She looks over, heart pounding, straight into the eyes of her mother. She's dishevelled and her face is pale, hand to her mouth. Her eyes travel over Ranko's thin, emaciated form. Kasumi's nightgown is in the wash for today, so she's only got a slip and the soft cotton knickers Kimiko had bought for her on. Other clothes are still irritating her sore skin.
Nodoka can see everything; the ribs as if the skin had been sucked onto them, the gaunt hollowness of her cheeks, the bony, thin arms. Slowly healing sores, blotches, bruises. Lank, red hair. The dead expression on the face, the eyes hollow blue pits. "Oh… Oh, Ranko… By all the heavens…"
Ranko blinks. There's something different in those eyes, those words, that look. Her brain's still sluggish, so it takes minutes in which the redhead and her mother just… stare at each other. Then Ranko's heart starts beating painfully in her chest.
Recognition.
She recognises Ranko.
She knows who Ranko is.
Then Nodoka's kneeling by Ranko and gently picking the redhead up to be placed in her lap, and she's being held and it's how her mother holds her. The folds of her kimono enveloping the redhead in warmth and love and sheer parental terror and anguish.
"Oh kami, my baby, what did you do to yourself? How could you hurt yourself so?" Nodoka cries, squeezing her close, tears splashing onto her daughter's emaciated form. Ranko struggles weakly to hug back, but her strength is still gone.
"M-mother?" She asks, clutching onto Nodoka's kimono, her arms with her thin hands. The warm folds of that same kimono she wore when they first were reunited.
Nodoka squeezes the girl close, shuddering and sobbing, holding her so close Ranko can feel the warmth of her, tears landing on top of her head. "R-Ranko!" Nodoka wails. "My baby, I forgot you, everyone forgot you, how could we? Why did you do it?"
Ranko's numb barrier breaks and she starts to wail her horror, her terror, her despair. Everything cracks and shatters inside of her, the control slipping, the fragile shield against her terrible emotional state shattering into thousands of pieces as she wails like a wounded animal.
Nodoka strokes her daughter's face gently, rubbing the tears away as the redhead sobs, her own choked, heaving breaths equal to her daughter's. She hears the despair and the grief and the loss and all of the other darkness that's settled inside of her daughter and she despairs too.
Akane and Kimiko watch from the doorway, looking at each other, then at the pair and then each other again. "Let's… give them time." Kimiko suggests. Akane's got so many questions but she nods and follows her mother downstairs.
Nabiki and Kasumi are at the bottom of the stairs. Kimiko shakes her head. "Your auntie is… busy, with our new family member." She says. "Let's go to the family room, give them some time and ask for explanations later."
The three girls follow their mother and sit down. Akane looks to the floor as she's the last and finds a shopping bag with a recognisable bentou box – the kanji 蘭子 on the top along with a stylised chibi girl with pink hair, and a black, zipped wallet. She carries them in and puts them on the table as she sits.
"Mom, what happened?" Akane asks.
"Nodoka came to the door and knocked, and she seemed surprised. She said I was alive, as if it were a surprise, though like she'd only been half-surprised. Then she asked where her daughter was."
Her own daughters stare. "But she…"
"I know. I think something strange has happened." Kimiko says as Soun joins them in his gi, mopping his forehead with a towel, the last class of the day having left.
"Strange? Everything about that girl is strange, dear." Soun says, sitting next to his wife and kissing her cheek. "Her chi, especially. I'm no expert with chi sight but she definitely has an odd… signature. Not quite congruous with the world around her."
Nabiki shakes her head. "That girl is like a mystery inside another mystery with a mystery to wrap it up. Every answer just raises more questions. Mom, we need to ask her. She's more or less stabilised, and maybe Auntie can tell us." The bob-haired girl waves her hand. "I mean there's the uniforms, the clothes, the fact that there are things she knows about this place that only people who've lived here for years could know."
Kimiko nods. "I know. And…"
Akane blinks and opens the bag, showing them the bentou box first. "This was hers on her first day and she'd wave it at us a couple of times." Nabiki picks the wallet up.
"This looks like a photo wallet." The middle sister comments. Kasumi takes it from her and unzips it.
The eldest sister goes pale. "Oh my." She says, sounding faint, the wallet falling onto the table and showing the entire Tendou family with Ranko and a panda, minus Kimiko, smiling together as only a family can.
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like you've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
- "Pompeii" by Bastille
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Himura Nodoka, in the words of one of her most recent houseguests – a girl whose attitude could best be described as 'Indifferent to politeness' and at worst 'extremely uncouth' (in Nodoka's frame of reference), has had a shitty three months.
The diminutive pinkette with the curled bunches leads her from the Nekohanten and down the street. Holding the tiny hand in her own, the other holding the bag with the photograph wallet and bentou box in it, she feels… warm. Like something great has wrapped itself about her.
The pink eyes look at her warmly. "I am called Berry, Miss Himura."
"Call me N-Nodoka, please, Berry-sama."
The tiny goddess giggles. "There's no need to be so formal, child. Just Berry will do."
Somehow in the intervening time, they've walked between Nerima and Juuban… or teleported. But Nodoka finds herself outside of her old house, and she welcomes the pair in. Rachel's stayed quiet, but Berry has kept a constant chatter, a smile on her face as she asks Nodoka about the girls she helped raise.
Eventually they find themselves in the Family Room with tea and snacks and Nodoka frowns.
"Why did you bring me home? I haven't had half the answers I needed."
Rachel's been idly tossing what looks like strawberry laces wrapped around a thread bobbin like you'd find on a sewing machine. "This has the rest of them."
"What is it?"
"Your memories. A whole other Nodoka's life."
Nodoka stares. "…This is to do with that girl, Ranko, isn't it?"
Berry smiles sadly and sips her tea. "Yes. Know this, Nodoka. I'm a goddess. My friend here's an angel on the cusp of apotheosis. We aren't from this universe. We kind of… hop around a bit. Go where we're needed. We started off as magical girls and sort-of… grew from there."
Nodoka stares. "Kami-sama. She called you that…"
"She's right." The pinkette shrugs. "I'm a very powerful goddess too. I had an… incident with this universe. A moon got blown up and, well, I could have left, but I don't like leaving problems behind, so I offered them my work. I can do wish fulfilment if needed. As someone who during her magical girlhood was primarily support… Well, I'm good at facilitating needs."
Rachel nods. "Berry here's all of our mum, auntie and crazy big sister." She grins with those sharp teeth. "Well, everyone's little big sister."
Berry giggles. "Quite. Well, the Bureaucracy that runs this world accepted my offer and I did what I'd term community service. Ranko was my last wish to fulfil, and frankly…" Her face hardens. "They forced me into it using our contract. As something like a concept, you understand my word is binding. She used the words 'I wish' and I was compelled to complete it." Berry wipes her eyes.
"Fucking assholeish fucks who'll fuckin' get theirs." Rachel mutters. Nodoka blinks at the profanity. Rachel shrugs at her look. "So I swear, deal with it."
"Rachel…" Berry warns. "At least try to be polite."
The auburn-haired, purple-eyed girl rolls her eyes as Bob chirps an affirmative. "Yeah, yeah."
"Anyway. I will be taking my displeasure on the Bureaucracy, but that'll come after I've done what I can. I was working on this and Ranko makes a wish. Her best friend, a girl she only just made up with, lost her mother when she was very little and it stained her emotions, her life."
Nodoka nods.
"Ranko wished her friend's mother back to life. But all wishes have their prices."
"And what was hers?"
"I need you to understand." Berry's voice is pleading, sad, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I told her the price. I told her, I made sure she knew the horror and she did it anyway. The price was her existence."
"Her… existence?"
"Yes. Everything that was her – memories, records, the world around her, the influence she had on the world… All of that was fuel for the fire." The pinkette snaps her fingers as she had with Ranko and another her simply appears in a puff of pink smoke. "It'd be like she appeared just like this." They chorus before the second one fades away.
Nodoka puts her hand to her mouth. "Sh-she really is my daughter?"
Berry nods. "Oh yes. It's… a touch more complicated. You'll know if you accept the memories, but she is indeed your child. In this version of the world you had a miscarriage and, well, you know the rest. In that version you gave birth to a healthy, bouncing baby."
Nodoka sniffles, tears pouring down her face. "Oh, why? Why would she do that to herself?"
Rachel sighs. "She hates herself." The brunette says. "There was an… incident, which caused some very rapid changes in her, followed by a few weeks of… Well, I'm calling it full-on abuse. While she was still sort-of forming a new personality. She hasn't got good self-esteem… Probably made worse by isolation lately. I'd help more but me and Berry we're… bound. There's only so much we can do. I push the limits where I can but…"
Berry gets up and walks to Nodoka, enveloping the much taller woman in a gentle hug. "There, there, dear. We're trying to fix as much as we can. But it'll take time."
Nodoka chokes a few sobs out, but masters herself quickly, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry." She says softly. Berry smiles at her.
"Don't be. Love and compassion should never be apologised for."
Nodoka looks to the strawberry lace on the bobbin. "So, this… this is… that other me?"
"Yes. When I was granting the wish, rather than pushing purely Ranko's power in, I extracted this and used a curse she had gained to add a little extra fuel, plus the tiniest thread of my own power which allows me to interfere more regards this particular thread."
Nodoka stares at it. "How do I take it in?" She demands, turning to the pink-haired goddess. Berry holds a hand up.
"In due time. First you need to know how it will be."
"How it…?"
"It will take months to assimilate all of this, and you won't exactly be the same. You'll watch the memories, experience them. And when it comes down to it, you'll have a choice. To be an amalgamation of the Nodoka that is in them and is you, to be you with the extra memories, or to be her with your memories, and it'll be up to you. Both of you."
Nodoka stares. "That's… a lot. Will I be able to work?"
"No. You'll be delirious most of the time – I and Rachel can take care of you and your house during that time. We know you've no real plans coming up, so this is good timing."
Nodoka looks at the bobbin, the strawberry lace glistening a little. She swallows. "Let's do it." She says, eyes going to the open photo wallet, the picture of Ranko and her smiling staring at her. "I want to meet my daughter."
Rachel grins. "Good. I've got to work on Akane in the sidelines when the bureaucracy isn't watching, get her to find the girl. She's a good girl, but my limited ability to interfere is worse when I'm being actively suppressed. If I were Berry's level… Well, maybe not. She's limited by contracts. I'm less limited. But I can only do so much."
Nodoka reaches to the bobbin, picking it up. It feels heavy, significant. She stares at it. "…How do I… use it?"
Berry giggles. "It's been created by me from the spell, how else would you think to use it? Eat it!"
Nodoka takes the lace and unwraps it from the bobbin, then somehow fits it into her mouth, chewing it. It tastes of strawberry and regret and honour and…
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Unaware of the physical body currently having fits on the floor of her house while Rachel and Berry look after her, the mind and spirit of Himura Nodoka fly inward, seeking the intrusion into her self of a familiar one. She comes face to face with an older-looking, sadder-looking Saotome Nodoka, who's watching her with a weary expression.
As if by mutual consent, the two find themselves kneeling by the table in her old house's family room. Himura looks at Saotome and they both nod. "Hello." They say at the same time, and then titter in the same cadence.
Himura's dressed in her 'lounging' clothes – a house dress not unlike that which Kasumi wears. Saotome is, as always, in her formal kimono, even if it's her own 'lounging' kimono, for all that she lounges.
"Oh my," Saotome says, looking around. "Yours is much barer than mine, and yet feels more alive."
Himura sighs. "You lived in yours alone. I lived with the Tendou family and rented the place."
Saotome nods, an ache of pain flitting across her face. "Yes. I suppose if you let it out to families, the spirit of the house would be more positive."
Himura looks about the room as it shifts to the busier and yet emptier Saotome version. "Well, at least you managed to have her. What was it like?"
"Painful." Says Saotome, a smile gracing her lips. "But joyous. Holding Ranma was a gift I'm ashamed to say I squandered when he was very small."
Himura stares. "But wasn't this about Ranko?"
"Ranko, hm? 'Orchid Child'? How sweet she'd choose that name. She is a beautiful wildflower."
"We're not making sense. 'Ranma'?"
Saotome looks to Himura and smiles sadly. "Let me tell you the tale of how I gained a son, lost that son and gained a daughter, and loved both of them with all my heart." She picks up a remote that appears on the table.
Himura is treated to their life in full. Every agonising second by minute by hour by day by month by year by decade. She notes the big divergence being the miscarriage.
At the same time, she can see a flicker of the screen, as if Saotome is watching a different show – her version of life, she assumes.
When it is done, she feels no older and yet much older. "That was…"
"Yes…" Saotome replies, rubbing her forehead. "Your life was so much better."
"You had your baby."
"Not really. You saw." Saotome rejoins softly and Himura nods.
"I suppose we both have a hole in our lives. Oh Saotome, she's so beautiful."
Saotome smiles at her other self. "Isn't she? I remember Ryouga-kun telling me her name and my shock when he told me of the curse. And then she awoke and I could tell something had changed – the poor boy was very confused by how polite she was. And she was. So, so polite and – she comforted me! A strange lady, a woman she had no knowledge of who she was, and she comforted me like it was the most natural thing in the world. I was so proud I might burst!" Her face falls. "And then she made that wish."
Himura closes her eyes. "I saw her, Saotome." She says, pain in her voice, anguish in her heart. "I saw her, a pretty young thing who just looked at me, heartbroken. And the sounds she made. I've never heard a person sound that wounded in my life, and I don't ever want to again."
"You have to find her, Himura." Saotome says, nodding and putting a hand on her other self's shoulder. "Find her, love her, bring her home. Even if your home is the Tendou Dojo, it's home and she needs it. She needs to know she's loved, she needs someone who recognises her."
"You? Don't you mean 'We'?"
Saotome shakes her head. "No, Himura, my world's gone. As much as it might be nice to be part of someone new, I think I'm best leaving you with my memories and feelings, but still being you. You've had sixteen years of raising three wonderful girls, now to be four, and you're in a better place than me. I think I'd rather just be a voice whispering in your memories than being there."
Himura drags her other self into a hug and holds her close. "If you're sure." She says.
"On my honour." Saotome says. "The old must give way to the new while imparting wisdom." She chuckles and then dissolves into white light.
Nodoka wakes on a futon in the living room, her head pounding, her mind flashing through two sets of memories. A cool, damp cloth is on her forehead and she wonders if this is how Ranko felt when she first woke up all those months ag-
"Ranko!" Nodoka sits up straight, the cloth from her forehead. She remembers! She makes to stand but only falls flat onto her front a moment, before sitting back up. Remembering anything else makes her head hurt a little. It's like closing each eye and seeing a different picture out of the other at times. "Ugh, this is not fun…"
"That will fade with time." Berry says gently, reaching down to grasp Nodoka's hand and help her up.
"I hope so." Nodoka says with a grimace. "Else it won't be good to keep everything straight. But I remember everything clearly about my daughter." She finishes. "That isn't two different memories. How long was I…?"
"Three months." Rachel shrugs, handing over the photo wallet and bentou in the shopping bag.
"Three… months?"
Nodoka's mind catches up with the vision and the real-world happenings. She remembers waking occasionally and vomiting everything she had been fed. She remembers migraines in her waking hours that felt like her brain was being squeezed to mush. She remembers screaming and crying and horror and terror and begging for it to end, just please end it. Visions of her daughter dying in some hole somewhere.
Somehow she thought the vision of her other self was one continuous one, but her memories are jumbled, doubled, messed up. Migraine pain flash-fries her senses a moment, the memory of the hell that the last three months has actually been replacing the calm and gentle vision, though somehow that is still there.
Rachel doesn't seem to notice or doesn't care for the emotions running through the older woman.
"Yeah. Long time, but it takes a while to settle. And it's never pleasant. We've kept you sorted, fed and well."
Nodoka clutches her head and cries, falling to her knees. She cries for her self from that other world, so sad. Having had the opportunity to have a baby she was denied and still losing that baby to Genma's idiocy. She grits her teeth as a vision she'd repressed flows into her. Ranko, lying on her side, clutching those pyjamas her other self had bought on her first night in the house as if they were a lifeline. As if they were all she had left.
Words, haunting, terrible words echoing through the world, screaming in silence for her mother.
It takes a few hours for her to calm down, and then her head snaps up. "Where is she? Where's my daughter?"
Berry smiles at her. "I think you know. Akane got her, Nodoka. She rescued her. On the verge, but I… caused a distraction with the Bureaucracy and Rachel was able to intervene. They saw her at the last but I threatened them again.
"I have to go there."
"Yes."
Nodoka notes she's in her house kimono. A very specific one. "Did you know I'd wake up today?" She asks. It's the same one she wore the day Ranko came back into her life with Ryouga.
Berry giggles. "I had an inkling. Now. Are you going to get going?"
Her answer is a blur whipping out of the door. The pinkette stands and motions to Rachel. "Let's clean up and lock up. Our work here's pretty much done."
Rachel lets out an explosive sigh. "Thank fuck for that. Next world that tries to limit me from helping gets its deities torn to pieces."
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For the first time in years, Nodoka roof-hops as soon as she gets to Nerima. She's not done it, but she's desperate to see Ranko, to make sure she's awake. The two girls had told her during the time she was recovering that Ranko'd very nearly starved to death and she'd found herself shaking the tiny pinkette who just let it happen.
Rachel's yelling about their limitations shook her out of her rage, the very real grief that the two supernatural entities experienced clearly matching her own. Berry's face had darkened when she'd explained how some of the local kami had stopped her, the coldness in those normally-warm pink eyes promising some very unpleasant times.
Nodoka doesn't care. She's going to see her baby.
People were already avoiding the dishevelled, crazed-looking, kimono-wearing, auburn-haired woman nervously shuffling on the train, muttering under her breath for the damned thing to speed up.
Once free of public transport, it's in record time that the windswept woman makes her way, leaps over the dojo wall and lands in front of the genkan, frantically knocking and ringing the bell.
Kimiko opens it and for a moment Nodoka is struck by a memory of crying over her friend's death or mourning her and not being able to face helping look after the girls while Ranko was off on that trip.
"Kimiko, where is she?" Nodoka seizes her best friend's shoulders. Kimiko looks curious. "And… you're alive!" Her arms go around Kimiko and she crushes her best friend to her in a rough embrace. "Oh, it's so good to see you!"
"Where is who, No-chan? You're kinda scaring me."
Nodoka lets go and takes in a breath. "Sorry." She says, removing her shoes at the genkan as Kimiko lets her in. "Sorry I…" She looks Kimiko in the eyes. "I know this will sound crazy, but my daughter."
Kimiko gasps. "R-Ranko?"
Nodoka looks. "Where is she, Kimiko?"
"Sh-she's upstairs, come o-"
Nodoka moves like the wind, flowing around Kimiko and up the stairs before she has chance to say anything.
Akane watches and then dashes along with her mother and stops at the entrance to the guestroom as they watch the reunion.
Ranko lies still on the futon in the guestroom, staring emptily up at the ceiling. She should sleep, she's been told to sleep, but she can't sleep. All that's going through her mind is how much she shouldn't be here. How much she just wants to die and be done with it but promises keep her here, keep her suffering.
She still can't cry, can't bring herself to feel anything other than the numbness that's settled around her like a straitjacket.
The door slides open, but she can't even muster the energy to look until a familiar voice speaks up.
"Ranko?"
The voice sounds horrified and it's probably her appearance. She knows she isn't any kind of good surprise and… wait.
She looks over, heart pounding, straight into the eyes of her mother. She's dishevelled and her face is pale, hand to her mouth. Her eyes travel over Ranko's thin, emaciated form. Kasumi's nightgown is in the wash for today, so she's only got a slip and the soft cotton knickers Kimiko had bought for her on. Other clothes are still irritating her sore skin.
Nodoka can see everything; the ribs as if the skin had been sucked onto them, the gaunt hollowness of her cheeks, the bony, thin arms. Slowly healing sores, blotches, bruises. Lank, red hair. The dead expression on the face, the eyes hollow blue pits. "Oh… Oh, Ranko… By all the heavens…"
Ranko blinks. There's something different in those eyes, those words, that look. Her brain's still sluggish, so it takes minutes in which the redhead and her mother just… stare at each other. Then Ranko's heart starts beating painfully in her chest.
Recognition.
She recognises Ranko.
She knows who Ranko is.
Then Nodoka's kneeling by Ranko and gently picking the redhead up to be placed in her lap, and she's being held and it's how her mother holds her. The folds of her kimono enveloping the redhead in warmth and love and sheer parental terror and anguish.
"Oh kami, my baby, what did you do to yourself? How could you hurt yourself so?" Nodoka cries, squeezing her close, tears splashing onto her daughter's emaciated form. Ranko struggles weakly to hug back, but her strength is still gone.
"M-mother?" She asks, clutching onto Nodoka's kimono, her arms with her thin hands. The warm folds of that same kimono she wore when they first were reunited.
Nodoka squeezes the girl close, shuddering and sobbing, holding her so close Ranko can feel the warmth of her, tears landing on top of her head. "R-Ranko!" Nodoka wails. "My baby, I forgot you, everyone forgot you, how could we? Why did you do it?"
Ranko's numb barrier breaks and she starts to wail her horror, her terror, her despair. Everything cracks and shatters inside of her, the control slipping, the fragile shield against her terrible emotional state shattering into thousands of pieces as she wails like a wounded animal.
Nodoka strokes her daughter's face gently, rubbing the tears away as the redhead sobs, her own choked, heaving breaths equal to her daughter's. She hears the despair and the grief and the loss and all of the other darkness that's settled inside of her daughter and she despairs too.
Akane and Kimiko watch from the doorway, looking at each other, then at the pair and then each other again. "Let's… give them time." Kimiko suggests. Akane's got so many questions but she nods and follows her mother downstairs.
Nabiki and Kasumi are at the bottom of the stairs. Kimiko shakes her head. "Your auntie is… busy, with our new family member." She says. "Let's go to the family room, give them some time and ask for explanations later."
The three girls follow their mother and sit down. Akane looks to the floor as she's the last and finds a shopping bag with a recognisable bentou box – the kanji 蘭子 on the top along with a stylised chibi girl with pink hair, and a black, zipped wallet. She carries them in and puts them on the table as she sits.
"Mom, what happened?" Akane asks.
"Nodoka came to the door and knocked, and she seemed surprised. She said I was alive, as if it were a surprise, though like she'd only been half-surprised. Then she asked where her daughter was."
Her own daughters stare. "But she…"
"I know. I think something strange has happened." Kimiko says as Soun joins them in his gi, mopping his forehead with a towel, the last class of the day having left.
"Strange? Everything about that girl is strange, dear." Soun says, sitting next to his wife and kissing her cheek. "Her chi, especially. I'm no expert with chi sight but she definitely has an odd… signature. Not quite congruous with the world around her."
Nabiki shakes her head. "That girl is like a mystery inside another mystery with a mystery to wrap it up. Every answer just raises more questions. Mom, we need to ask her. She's more or less stabilised, and maybe Auntie can tell us." The bob-haired girl waves her hand. "I mean there's the uniforms, the clothes, the fact that there are things she knows about this place that only people who've lived here for years could know."
Kimiko nods. "I know. And…"
Akane blinks and opens the bag, showing them the bentou box first. "This was hers on her first day and she'd wave it at us a couple of times." Nabiki picks the wallet up.
"This looks like a photo wallet." The middle sister comments. Kasumi takes it from her and unzips it.
The eldest sister goes pale. "Oh my." She says, sounding faint, the wallet falling onto the table and showing the entire Tendou family with Ranko and a panda, minus Kimiko, smiling together as only a family can.