Six: Paperwork and Pancakes
- Location
- Oregon, USA
Six: Paperwork And Pancakes
After I'd settled things with Rias, I had to talk to Sona. Fortunately, rather than questioning me further, she seemed content to fill out paperwork for my residence in their territory.
"So, to clarify," Sona said, holding a clipboard. "You are not affiliated with the Grigori, yes?"
"No," I said. "Raynare was the first time I'd even spoken to a fallen angel."
Sona checked off something on the clipboard with a pen. "The Church?"
"Similar. I've met a priest or two, but they were just like, priest-priests. Not murder-priests. So no connections there."
Another mark. "Other devils?"
"I was attacked by a stray devil once. Otherwise, no."
"A human magical organization?"
"Nope."
"The Shinto Pantheon?"
"I met a Yokai at the airport."
"Oh, that's normal," Sona assured me. "Any other supernatural organization and or power bloc of note?"
I winced. "Well… not presently?"
Her eyes narrowed, and she clicked her pen menacingly. "Explain."
"So you know how the Greek Gods are dicks? Except Hestia."
Sona nodded slowly. "I may have heard something of the sort, yes."
"Well, so, I was a very weird baby," I explained. "My parents called an exorcist, one thing led to another, and after a brief kidnapping attempt, I wound up affiliated with the Greek pantheon as 'payment' for their rescue. Except, again, they're dicks, so I decided to run away. Kuoh is far enough away and complex enough politically that the only one strong enough to do anything about it, Hades, is willing to wait until I die. He already has dibs, you see."
Sona clicked and unclicked her pen several times, sighed, and then flipped to the back of the paper. She wrote for a while. I looked around her clubroom. It was boring.
"Your clubroom really matches your personality," I said diplomatically. Sona ignored me.
Finally, she finished.
"I've investigated your background, and everything you've said now seems to be the truth. With that in mind, I would be willing to consent to your continued presence in my territory, provided you agree to follow certain conditions.
"…Such as?" I asked.
Sona set down the clipboard on her desk, opened a drawer, then pulled out a thick sheaf of papers. "In here are three copies of the standard agreement and optional modifications. I expect you to read it thoroughly, fill it out, sign it, and present the documents for me to sign by the end of the week. One of the copies will be kept by you, one by me, and one will be put on file at the Sitri Estates."
I took the papers and beat a hasty retreat, before the devil in front of me could shove more paperwork down my throat.
* * *
My new friend licked his lips nervously as we waited at the counter of the store 'General Mart'. Seriously, he looked so skeevy! Though I couldn't blame him. Homeless people have it rough.
He set his shopping basket down on the counter. The clerk stared at the two of us, halfway through stifling a yawn. We must have made an odd picture for him: a dirty, wild-looking man, and a foreign girl in a high school uniform. "…Are you alright, Miss?" he asked me.
"Yup!" I said. "Just running an errand with my uncle here."
"That's right. I'm her uncle," said my new friend unconvincingly.
"If you say so…" The clerk began taking items out of the basket and scanning them. Socks, blip. Wet wipes, blip. Hand sanitizer, blip. A bag of chips, blip. Toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant. Blip blip blip. In they all went to a plastic shopping bag.
Finally, two bottles of trashy wine. "Ah, can you bag that separately?" I asked. "I think carrying alcohol is icky." The clerk nodded, and placed them in a different bag.
My friend glanced at me. I nodded encouragingly, and he pulled my credit card out from his pocket and swiped it. The reader thing beeped. The good beep, not the bad beep.
"All done, here's your receipt. Please enjoy your day," the clerk said. I grabbed the shopping bags, leaving the receipt, and the two of us left the store. As soon as we were out, I handed my new friend his bag, then held out my hand expectantly for my card.
He hesitated. "What's to stop me from keeping the card?"
Well, at least he asked. "It wouldn't do you much good," I said. "I'd just call the company to cancel it, you wouldn't be able to use it for anything, and then I'd never do something like this with you again in the future."
That seemed to be enough, because he passed me the card. I turned the motion into a handshake. "Pleasure doing business. I hope things start looking up for you."
The man glanced at the wine I was carrying guiltily, muttered something, then left in a hurry.
Whatever. I had my alcohol. Yay!
Today was a school day, so I needed to deposit my ill-gotten goods back in my apartment with enough time to get to class…
I stopped in place.
That was a familiar face.
I turned.
Indeed, there she was. Between her blond hair and her habit, Asia Argento was unmistakable.
I fell deep into thought. I hadn't planned to interfere in this section of events. Determining the right timeframe to do so in the first place would've been difficult, not to mention the location. I wasn't suited to divination, so finding things was tricky for me. But now, a chance had been dropped into my lap.
Should I go through with it? Probably not. Asia was a future member of Rias Gremory's peerage, and more importantly, their healer. If it wasn't for her, who knew how many times they would've died? Involving myself would be dangerous.
On the other hand, I didn't approve of how things turned out for her in the source material. She was pressured into competing with the other girls for Hyoudou and sort of forced into a love interest role to keep her connection with him. I didn't know how much of her affection for Hyoudou would have developed under more ordinary circumstances. At the very least, she was pressured into going faster with their relationship than she was comfortable with, which was incredibly shitty.
The logical thing to do was ignore her. However, this wasn't something I could just say would turn out alright, like I had with Hyoudou's injury. According to the story, Asia would die and be resurrected as a devil. She came to terms with it, saying she'd rather be a devil than dead, but if it wasn't a choice between death and life, I don't think she would've agreed to it.
Maybe it was just because of lingering guilt from how I handled Hyoudou's bedeviling. Maybe it was hypocrisy. Maybe it was just not wanting to make the same mistake twice. Whatever the motive, I found myself speaking.
"Asia Argento!" I called out. She spun around, searching. I raised an arm. She hurried over, clutching her suitcase in both hands, and greeted me in a barrage of delighted Italian.
Right.
"Do you speak Greek?" I tried.
Asia's smile fell, and she shook her head. Then she tried saying something.
"Latin?" She nodded excitedly, but her smile drooped again when I shook my head. I knew a little Latin, but not enough to converse.
Ancient Greek was right out. That left…
"Do you speak English?" I said (in English).
She beamed at me again. Seriously, was this girl's face a strobe light or something?
"I speak some English!" she said.
"Great," I said. "Would you like me to get you something to eat?"
As if on cue, her stomach gurgled. She flushed. "Yes please!"
I brought her to a cafe and ordered us both some food. There was a brief moment of drama when some busybody accused me of skipping school, but I told them that my cousin (Asia) was moving to Kuoh and just arrived, so I'd gotten the day off to help her move in.
"What is your name?" Asia asked. Right, I hadn't introduced myself.
"I'm Pythia Angelopoulos."
Asia giggled. "I see. My helper really is a angel."
Urk. Her innocent gratitude just made me feel guilty. Damn it, I was already invested in her. This was a bad idea.
"What is job like?" she asked me.
"What?" I didn't understand.
Asia thought for a moment. "What is it like to do job? You know," she made flapping motions with her hands.
Oh. She thought I was who the Grigori had sent to meet her.
It made sense. After all, I'd known her name. Should I correct this misunderstanding? Then I'd have to explain how I knew she was expecting someone from the Grigori, though… I decided to leave it in place for now.
"Right now, I go to school. I do make money on the side though." Asia probably didn't know what the stock market was, so… "I give advice to people online and they pay me for it."
"On line?"
Oh, wow. I'd underestimated how sheltered she was. Unless it was just the language barrier? I tried to think, but I couldn't recall Asia ever making much use of technology.
"Don't worry about it," I said. "The food's here." Sure enough, the waiter was carrying our food out to us. I'd ordered for the both of us, seeing as Asia couldn't read the menu.
A plate of very floppy pancakes and cheesy scrambled eggs was set in front of each of us, along with a pitcher of syrup for us to share. Asia tilted her head. "What is this?"
"Pancakes," I said. "Watch." I poured some syrup on my plate, then began to cut the pancake into pieces, dip it in syrup, then put it in my mouth. Slowly, Asia began to copy me. She carefully cut into the pancake, a look of concentration on her face as she tried to make the lines even. She poked at a bite with her fork. She tried to pull it up, but her prodding had weakened it enough that it fell off as she lifted it into the air.
"Ah!" she exclaimed, then looked at me with a bewildered expression.
I couldn't help myself. I laughed.
Asia blushed and began to poke at her pancakes again.
"No, no," I said. "I'm not making fun of you. Your surprised face was just really cute."
Asia refused to look me in the eye.
"Here, watch this," I said. Moving slowly, I dragged a piece of the pancake with my fork over to my knife. I used the knife as a support to help fold the pancake over on itself. "This helps it stay on better," I said. "Twice as much piercing."
Asia copied me, and soon, the bite was in her mouth. Her eyes widened, and she stared at the pancakes like they were an alien lifeform. "Is this what sin tastes like?"
I snorted. "No. That's maple syrup. It's bad if you have too much, that would be gluttony. But some every now and then is moderation, and isn't a sin at all."
Asia nodded. "I see."
Like that, we had a pleasant meal together.
* * *
AN: The MC's internal thoughts on Asia's canon portrayal are incorrect. I'm aware. She's just wrong.
Also, no, Asia does not actually think pancakes are alien lifeforms. It's a simile.
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