3.5 - Twenty Fifth Issue
Erien
God's Weakest Soldier
- Location
- Georgia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[Admit your issues]
[Help your partner]
Thanks to Armoury for the beta!
---
You are quiet for several moments, the scent of the kitchen wafting into the room and making the whole environment feel… homely. Both Nora and Kros are good friends of yours, damn good friends in fact. And they also seemingly realize something that you've attempted to keep hidden from Stephanie. Not that you think your fiance can't support you, but that she has enough to deal with at the moment without dealing with your bullcrap.
"More and more lately I've been feeling… worthless. I've always had imposter syndrome to hell and back, but lately, it has only been getting worse and worse."
You open your mouth to say more but are cut off as Kros slithers up next to you, half her body leaning over the couch as she moves to place her around your neck. She's cold, but the action is comforting. "And why do you feel so?"
You swallow, thinking about the question a moment before you start to answer. "I really wanted to be a doctor growing up, and I had the right quirk for it, but they didn't know what else I could be doing when I healed people and that made people wary." You turn your head to look Kros in the eyes, the snake-woman has a deep frown on her face, fangs poking out slightly from underneath her top lip.
"I didn't want to be a hero, there was a really flashy hero in my family already, and she was always flaunting her abilities and wealth. I… really didn't want to be that kind of person." Your hands ball into fists on your lap, and you shake your head from side to side slowly. "I only just found out that my quirk does have a side effect, but one of my own creation. People can become addicted to the painkillers I make their bodies release, I'm a walking agonist. I was terrified of it affecting my partner because frankly, just about everything goes wrong when it involves me."
Feathers tickle your cheek, and you turn your head to see Nora has taken up the hug from the other side, her eyes glinting in the morning light as she grins at you. "Well, things do explode around you. But do you think you do only things wrong?"
Kros picks up where she leaves off, her arms squeezing me a touch tighter. "You have side effect, big deal. You are a hero, you have helped many people. Or would you rather wallow in the self-pity and let those who need you die?"
"Stephanie said something remarkably similar." You say quietly.
"Of course she did," Nora replies. "She's a girl, it's our job to beat the male half of the race upside the head whenever they do something stupid."
You smile slightly at that. "I'm grateful I've had the chance to help people, but I can't help but feel I am a fraud though."
The hands around your neck shift, and you look up as Kros slithers around the couch to be 'standing' in front of you. She leans forward, pressing your head against her stomach as her hands move to run through your hair. "Nobody that you have ever helped would call you a fraud, you are a hero, and a damn good one at that." She lowers herself, planting your face directly into h-
Grk.
"It will be okay," Kros says quietly.
Your hands freeze as you find yourself pressed against the snake woman's bosom. You may or may not be pretending to be a tomato right now given how hot you can feel your face getting. Kros is… gifted in many ways, not the least of which being a rather strong point of interest amongst the male student body for her… assets. A soft hum escapes her, and she seems to be doing your best to comfo-
You find yourself wrenched away a moment later by a claw hooked into the back of your shirt, "he needs to breathe." Nora says, and your gaze darts to the bird-woman to see her grinning from ear to ear. "It ain't so bad until she rolls over at night when you're sharing a bed, then it's a fight for your life. Like a scaly snake version of the Poseidon Adventure, a multi-ton monstrosity is above you and you are fighting for air."
Kros lets out a hiss. "I do not!"
Nora turns her gaze from you to Kros, then shrugs. "Ya fair, you'd crush any bed you laid on anyway fatsnake."
You hear a distinctly Russian warcry from Kros, the snake woman launching herself at the bird who rapidly takes off into the air. The bird-woman sticks out her tongue at the snake then lets out a desperate yelp as Kros fully extends to be almost touching the ceiling. "What have you to say for yourself!"
"That Dylan is grinning!" Nora replies cheerfully.
Kros pauses her murder-in-progress, looking down to where you are, in fact, grinning like an idiot. You can't help it, their antics have always amused you, they are basically sisters. Though, admittedly, how they have gotten along so long without actually killing each other is a myste-
Nora was staring down at you as well, it's the only reason why she didn't have enough warning when Kros reached out to grasp her by the shoulders. Nora's eyes widen dramatically, arms flailing as she is dragged back down to the ground. But it is for her too late, as in the span of mere seconds she is laying back down on the couch with Kros's tail firmly wrapping her up to her midsection.
"Gauze! Help!" Nora cries out your hero name, her wings flapping wildly as she tries to free herself from Nora's death squeeze.
"I uh, I think you did that one to yourself actually."
The flapping only gets more desperate as the tails continue curling up to trap her arms, and Nora gives you one last salute before pretending to fall unconscious. Kros releases her a moment later, the harpy falling forward onto the couch and panting for breath. "Doctor I think I'm dying."
You smile, moving your hand to poke Nora in the forehead. "Hmm, no immediate sign of broken bones. Perhaps some form of… overdramatic disease?"
Nora's eyes cross to stare at your finger, then she flings herself back onto the couch cushion. As you watch she jabs one of her claws into a shirt pocket, it pulls back out with a ring around the talon that has a stylus attached. She produces her phone with her other claw, a ring attached to the top of it that she can hold as she taps on it with said stylus. "Gauze Girls." She says, her gaze turning towards me rather smugly.
[Minor Popularity]
… "Pardon?"
She flips the phone around and lays it on the couch, the first thing you notice is the bright red cross in the corner that is situated in a phrase that vaguely spells out 'G+uze Girlz'. Your gaze lowers, only for the first thing you see is a picture of you shirtless. Specifically what must have been a picture of you when you were wandering the beach with Stephanie a good week back. A towel is slung over your shoulder, and a good deal of water is running down your musculature.
You stare at it, then at the amount of hearts underneath the picture. "What's this?"
"It's your fansite," Nora replies as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
You stare at it, tilting your head. "I… have a fansite?"
"What, you mean you've never checked?" Nora asked, sounding rather dumbfounded.
"I… no? Should I have? Didn't really think I rated one."
Nora stares at me, she stares at me for a good long while, before, with a sigh, she drops her head into her wings. "There's no helping him."
… "Sorry?"
---
You stare after the retreating villainess, the sound of clattering pots and pans filling the air as she makes a break for it via the kitchen.
You are already moving towards your partner. Stephanie's fist slams into the ground, her face a rictus of pain as she howls in agony. You come to a sliding stop, your kneepads skidding along the carpet as you arrest your momentum and place your hands on your partner's back. You reach towards her legs.
*Focus*
Closed fracture. Tibia and Fibula of both legs have broken. Neither has comminuted thankfully, should be easy to fix but will require immediate attention and pain reli-
Your hand pauses, and you turn to look at your partner's face. "This will require pain relievers."
Stephanie's hand grasps at the carpet, and you can tell from the strain on her face that her teeth are bared behind her mask. "Ah won't get addicted, give me a bullet or give me morphine!"
You take a deep breath, then place your hands on her ankles. With a thought your partner immediately relaxes, her muscles deconstricting as you flood her body with relief. Then, once suitably numb you reach down to move her legs back into position, the limbs moving like a doll with loose joints in your hands. Once in the proper position, you fix the bones.
The process takes fifteen seconds, and by the sixteenth, she is standing up. "Where the hell did that bitch go?"
"The kitchen," you reply, standing up yourself. "But I've never seen a quirk like that."
Stephanie grunts. "Ah get it, but we don't have a choice. She stole those purses, and it's ah're job to stop her. Ya ready?"
"As ready as I can ever be." You place your hand on her back, and as your partner bursts forward her skin shifts and turns to fur, your buffing abilities increasing just about every gift she has. You chase after her and into the kitchen, shelves are knocked over, pans, skillets, and various other kitchen tools laying all around from where the cooks fell over onto them or the villain knocked over in her rush to leave.
Your partner is ignoring all of it, sprinting towards the back door on all fours. With a deafening slam she crashed directly into it, the sound of screeching metal filling the air. You are just a few seconds behind her, and by the time you catch up you see the cause of the noise coming to a stop against the far wall. A large dumpster on wheels, now partially crumpled on one side from where Stephanie barged into it.
You see your target beyond it, the villainess has turned back, a look of panic on her face. Whether that is from your partner's miraculous recovery or the fact that said partner has just sent a dumpster flying you have no idea. But Stephanie continues on, her claws and boots digging into the concrete of the alley as she moves along it. Beyond the villain is the open street, where at the end you can see a large white nondescript van. You'd expect that is her getaway vehicle, but instead of heading towards it she instead takes a sharp left to throw herself onto a fire escape. It's an old metal thing, running from a few feet above the alley to the roof of the buildings above.
Pumping your legs you increase your speed, one hand holding your revolver, the other is extended in front of you to deploy your shield at a moment's notice. You haven't seen any accomplices, but you would rather not take any chances. Your partner, for her part, kicks off the wall, launching herself sideways across the alley to slam into the villain.
The villainess screams, body bouncing off of the wall to land on the ground with Stephanie atop her. "Sit!"
The words come out as a desperate gasp more tha-
Your revolver clatters on the pavement as you sit down on your knees, a sense of calm overtaking you as you watch the villainess stand back up and run towards the ladders. Why aren't your legs moving? Why don't you care that your legs aren't moving? You watch the villain serenely as she makes it to the third flo-
You blink, the world coming back into clarity… mother-
"Fucker!" Stephanie cries out, your partner hauling ass towards the ladder.
You raise your arm, pointing it towards the roof and depressing a button on the side. With the burst of a rapidly recoiling spring, the grapple hook shoots upward, slamming into the brick edge of the building. With another button, your body hurtles upwards, and you reach out to grasp the lip of the building and haul yourself up onto it. It's a flat white surface, little more than a space to put an air conditioning unit. This building is taller than those around it, allowing no space to leap down from without breaking a rather fascinating amount of bones.
In other words, she's trapped.
You press your body against the AC unit, listening carefully as the sound of clattering feet on a metal fire escape fills the air. The villainess appears a few seconds later, panting with Stephanie hot on her heels a good two stories down… and making a helluva racket as well.
"Don't move!" you shout, stepping around the unit and pointing the revolver at her.
She freezes in her tracks, her eyes widening as she looks at you, then at the gun in your hands. Slowly she lifts her hands above her head, gulping as she realizes the situation she is in. "Don't open your mouth." You warn.
The grin you saw in the restaurant returns, and she opens her mouth to speak. Your revolver kicks off, the round sailing to hit her in the stomach. But not before she utters a single word. "Die."
You watch as she crumbles to the ground, groaning and clutching her stomach. The clattering of the fire escape fills the air, and you watch as your partner appears on the roof of the building raring for a fight. You only idly note this, you just feel… calm as you move your revolver to point it up underneath your chin.
Stephanie runs over to the villain, clamping a hand over the villain's mouth and looking up at you with a grin.
Your finger slips into the trigger well.
Why does Stephanie look so bothered?
With a click, the cylinder of the revolver starts to turn.
She's running at you now, eyes wide and a look of panic on her features. That's odd.
A deafening ringing sounds out as Stephanie tackles you, the round from the revolver narrowly missing your head. You slam back onto the roof, your partner holding you tightly around the midsection. Your vision blurs, only to return a moment later to see your partner sitting atop you, looking down with panic. Her mask is off, and her mouth is saying… something but you can't hear it beyond the ringing.
You slowly raise your hand to your head, counteracting the deafness. Only to hear your partner shouting a moment later. "Are ya okay?"
"I'm… fine," you reply carefully. "Cover her mouth."
Your partner gives you a wary look before she gets off of you, and as you watch she steps off of you to move over to the villain. The villainess in question is still groaning in pain, clutching her stomach and making no effort to either run away or talk. You situp with a groan as your partner places her hand over the villain's mouth. Your mind is still fuzzy but is clear enough as you place your fingers against the villain's forehead. Not painkillers, she can deal with the bruise. Instead, you carefully fill her body with a sense of numbing until…
[Numbing Touch]
With a soft 'clunk' the blond's head falls on the roof. "I think we got her. Though that's the second time that has happened with that revolver."
Stephanie looks up at you, "the hell are ya talkin' about."
You open your mouth to answer, but you are drowned out by the wailing sirens pulling up to the alley.
---
"Another hopeful for the League of Villains." The cop says with a grunt. The man is older, with a rather extensive belly at that. But going by the rings around his eyes you can tell his job makes him rather busy… and that the stomach is likely due to stress.
"How so?" you ask. Watching as they load the still unconscious woman into the back of a van. A piece of tape has been rather hastily put over her mouth, but that should be enough for now regardless.
"We have her on file, she's been hitting stores all over the area. The League put out a call lately for recruits, with two ways to get in supposedly."
"What would those be?" Stephanie asks, your partner sitting on the sidewalk with her mask unfastened.
"Either a large enough monetary… gift to the organization followed by a meeting, or to kill a hero. The little miss had been doing rather well for herself on the first part."
"She tried the second today," you say. "It didn't stick." You then turn towards the line of ambulances outside. There's a host of them, the street is filled with paramedics checking over her victims and loading them to be taken away to the nearby hospital. None seemed to be anything more than asleep… but there is no reason not to be careful.
Raising your energy drink to your lips you lean back against the motorcycle.
"Well, ah'm glad we got her then. Don't suppose ya'll need anythin' more from us?" Stephanie asks.
The cop shakes his head, "not from me, but they'll be wanting to talk to you." As he says this he points a finger down the street to where a cordon has been set up, behind which is a rather large host of people that have shown up to see what is going on, including a rather sizable amount of the press.
…
Oh dear.
---
[X] [Handle it together]
Thanks to Armoury for the beta!
---
"You like being Doomwulf, you handle the press." You say simply, pointedly looking away from the crowd of reporters.
"Do ya want to sleep on the couch tonight?" Stephanie asks, and you hear more than see her get up from her sitting position.
"Wouldn't be the first time, and it's a nice couch."
"Do ya not want to sleep with me again for the next week?"
"I did that this morning," you tilt your head slightly, staring rather intensely at a rather gaudy looking clothing shop across the way. "It was lovely, and should keep me satiated for some time."
"Do ya want me to be sad?"
You turn back on your heels. "Well, let's go talk to the press then, can't have that."
Stephanie laughs, arm moving to wrap around your shoulder as you both make your way down the street. Her other hand moves to clip the mask back over her face, and following her example you slap the helmet back down over your head, the straps hanging loose down by your neck.
"It's a nice part of town, wanna come here later for a date?" you ask. "Sans villain of course."
Stephanie lets out a hum, dropping the arm that was around your shoulder to instead stretch it above her head. "Dunno, we never much ate fancy in Atlanta, don't see why that should change in Sydney. 'sides, ah think the villain is the most excitement this place gets."
"With a quirk like the one we just dealt with I certainly hope not. That one was… nasty."
Stephanie grunts in agreement and turns her attention from you and towards the line of reports. Raising a hand her claws glint, sparks jumping between the metal blades. A neat little way to get attention, you have your own but you doubt the reporters will enjoy you firing your gun into the air.
It's your first time handling the press, and somehow that makes you more nervous than the villain fight. At least you can punch villains, punching the press usually ends careers.
"Doomwulf!" a female reporter cries out. "Can you tell us what happened?"
Stephanie jerks a finger behind her towards the restaurant. "Villain was in there, her quirk was some form of… mental suggestion. She put everyone in there to sleep and was robbin' 'em."
"Any deaths Gauze?" another reporter asks, male with an elephantine trunk for a nose.
"... None. The most that happened was one gentleman fell face-first into his soup and ruined his jacket." You answer, feeling rather uncomfortable with the question and the situation.
"Any issues taking down the villain?"
You glance over at your partner, and she simply shrugs her shoulders and speaks. "Not really, her quirk was all voice-based, she didn't have no enhanced strength or anythin' like that. So once we caught up to her we took 'er down rather quick."
"Do you think this has any connections to the previous attack on the mall you were involved with?"
You shake your head. "Nothing pointing to it, we're not investigators anyway."
"Are you having the wedding in Australia or are you heading back to the states."
You stare at the reporter like she just started speaking Chinese, is… now really the best time to for tha-
"Back in the states." Stephanie answers.
You turn your head towards your partner, disbelief written on your features. "I thought we hadn't decided yet?"
Your partner looks back, a challenging glint in her eyes. "What, ya want to pay to have our extended family fly out to Sydney?"
You blink, then turn back to the assembled mass of reporters. "So does anyone know any good chapels?"
That gets a laugh.
---
You pull the helmet off of your head and toss it onto the couch as you enter the house. It spins and rolls like a heavy frisbee, before bouncing off onto the carpeted floor with a dull thud. "That was just an entire thing."
"Ah think we handled the press pretty well," Stephanie replies, and you hear a familiar slump of her armor hitting the carpet. It's a tradition you've held since college, namely, get the hot sweaty stuff off now, clean it up later.
"We did, but I can't help but wonder how they'll spin it, we are new to this after all," you say, making your way over to the couch and plopping yourself onto it. It, like most things here, is a bright white. This is honestly a relief, as when All Might said you could have his summer home you were rather terrified of a more… let say colorful choice in the palette. "I'm slightly terrified of my aunt trying to spin it as well."
You close your eyes, letting out a deep breath as you feel the day ebb out of you. A nice dinner is in order, maybe that nearby burger joint you sa-
"Dylan?"
You open your eyes, only to find your fiance standing right in front of you. In the short amount of time it takes you to realize that she has her mask off, she has leaned forward and planted her lips against yours.
Her hands grab your coat and bunch it up, and you tilt your head as it deepens. A soft moan escapes your partner, and she pulls back a few seconds later with a faint blush on her face. She doesn't pull back far, her eyes are staring at your own from maybe two to three inches away as she doesn't let go of your coat. "What was that you were sayin' earlier after we took down the villain?"
What is sh…
Oh.
"I…"
Her finger pushes against your lips and she shakes her head. "Sorry, ya don't need to talk actually. Ya think ah don't know ya've been depressed? Ah'm a canine, we can smell that."
"... Really?"
"No," your partner snorts. "But ah know you. You have always had the self-worth of a particularly ugly kicked puppy. College stress didn't help none, moving to Australia didn't help none, and becomin' an adult all of a sudden didn't help none." At that last bit, Stephanie moves her hand to pat her stomach. "Ya think ah'm not a bundle of nerves? Ah can just fake it better."
You look down towards the floor, only to have your head wrenched up to look your partner in the face again.
"Ain't nothin' to be ashamed of, ah knew ya had been dealin' with it fer awhile, and that ain't the first joke ya've made about it neither. Kros messaged me earlier about your… talk with 'er."
You feel your heart plummet. "She did?"
Stephanie nods. "She said you were feelin' down and that she wanted a threesome." She then grins. "One or both of those things is true, but we messaged back and forth about it, and your happy little butt is goin' in for therapy. They got good staff fer it at the tower. Apparently bein' a hero is stressful work."
"Sorry." You say, and you feel a little guilty that is all you can say.
"Ain't nothin' to be sorry 'bout neither. Just don't hide things from me, we're a team now in every sense of the word, got it?"
You start to nod, only to be pulled forward into her lips.
Stephanie pulls back a few seconds later, an impish smile on her face. "Good boy, now figure out where we're going for dinner."
---
And we're caught up.