A wild last Friend insert has appeared! (A Wild Last Boss Appeared FI, featuring @Hapless Annon)

Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Another walk, another task. Escorting the women was a tense yet calm affair, heading back to the village in one piece; Philip was safeguarding his reward by ensuring these people got home intact. As for them, they were significantly less composed than Philip and Dina, stumbling from their leftover mindwipe, and on the blood splatters Bootleg caused. At least they had no corpses on their path, courtesy of Dina.

"Dina, do you mind if I ask you a question about the legendary heroes? Well, 'heroes.'" Philip added air quotes with one hand, the other on Bootleg as he scanned the area. So far there was nothing, but her expected rant could change that.

"You mean the traitorous backstabbers that betrayed you and everything you stood for?" Dina scoffed, lips curled back in poorly contained rage. "Sure, what do you wish to know, Ruphas-sama?" Yet she still reigned herself in.

"How exactly did they defeat me the first time? In case we bump into one again, I wanna know how they did it. It'd be helpful to know how so it doesn't happen again." He explained. Philip had started to wonder that once they left the cave; with how powerful he was, how did they seal him (well, 'him') away the first time? His current guesses were overwhelming numbers or esoteric spells, the latter he had no clue how to handle.

"Hmmm….." Dina was silent for a moment. "Now, I wasn't there, so I can only tell you what I picked myself together from the official stories and rumors after the fight." She shrugged. "It was shortly after your fearsome duel with Benetnash the vampire princess. You were still recovering when the Sword King Alioth, the smith King Mizar, the Wisdom King Megrez, the adventure King Phecda, the heavenly King Merak and the beast King Dubhe attacked you, together with countless thousands of lesser heroes and the forces of their realms."

She drew symbols of fiery letters in the air, each one representing the different names.

"Altogether the force they mustered was around eight million? All the humanoid Kingdoms except the vampires were engaged with Ruphas-sama. Similarly the vampire Princess Benetash did not participate in the final battle against you." She rubbed her chin in thought. "In short I think it was a variety of things that led to your defeat. Enemy numbers to tie down your twelve generals and armies, exhaustion from the fight with Benetnash and the many complementary skills and teamwork of the six heroes that directly engaged you."

"Ah, that's… good to know." Philip nodded with a frown. They really must've hated him to pull out all the stops like that; on the bright side, Dina's explanation hinted that wasn't likely to happen again. Except… "Say, do you happen to know if Benetnash had gotten any stronger in the meantime?"

"Hmmmm, I do not know. She did not participate in the followup campaign of the heroes against the demon King Orm, and wasn't defeated by him in the disaster that occurred then. At the moment she is clashing with Leo the tyrannical lion, one of your generals, but I don't think she herself ever personally fought him." Dina nodded.

"Ah. The reason I ask is because I'm toying with the idea of paying Benetnash a visit. If she's really this powerful, and she still has a grudge, well, next time I don't think I'll be amnesiac." And there were plenty of other things he had to do, such as learn how to use all these powers. Forgetting how to mould rock with his bare hands was no big deal against orcs, but these vampires wouldn't be so helpless.

Dina cringed, fiddling with her fingers. "Uh, Ruphas-sama? Do you think that is a smart Idea? Benetnash will likely try to fight you…. Or she might just decide that amnesiac you isn't worth fighting. I have no idea what that crazy teen is up to with you."

"Yeah, that's what I assumed. Okay, a reason to delay that meeting, thanks Dina." Given how empty it was around, he felt safe enough to clap a couple times. "Alrighty, when we're finished here we're going back to Yuradril and see about another job." He smiled, as bright as it was faked.

"Yeah." She laughed and walked down the path with him. "Ah, that reminds me, you gotta be hungry after this fight, right?"

Dina pulled a plate out of thin air, waving it in front of him; A savory, golden-brown steak rested on its surface, an appetizing scent wafted through the air. The smell of perfectly cooked meat hit his nose, his stomach growling as a reminder he hadn't eaten in a while.

"Orc steak, it's delicious with a side of rice." She waved it in front of him. Philip smacked his lips, suddenly aware of his watering mouth.

"L-lets get to the village, pronto." He rushed along, academically knowing he should share with the villagers, they needed food more than him. But that delectable smell...

"You don't want any? I made them the way you always liked them." Dina's eyes were huge and round, gazing at him full of innocence.

"Uh, no, that's not it. I just wanna get the payment first, I'm eager to try it." Philip waved placatingly, whatever stopped that puppy-eye look and her getting upset.

"Alright, I have enough stored away for later!" Dina smiled, slowing to share what she had with the women; the sounds they made hinted they were really good.

Twenty minutes later…

"Thank you! Thank you!" The village elder bowed again and again, kowtowing in front of Philip and Dina. Around them the captives reunited with their remaining families, embracing with tears.

"Its okay." He quickly waved him off, considering knocking some coins off the payment given their hardship, although they had plenty of loot the orcs provided. Privately he hoped the old man wouldn't be gushing for hours, Dina's steaks awaited. Steaks made of sentient beings he personally ended… he stopped thinking about that.

Absent-mindedly the village elder handed over a sack of rustling coins, easily more than a thousand by Philip's guess. He refrained from opening up and counting, although the old man wasn't looking at him; he ran to the dark haired woman who was brave enough to speak to him after the slaughter, embracing her as she hugged him back.

Judging things as good enough, Philip tipped his head one more time and left, giving the old man time alone with what he presumed was his daughter. Out the door he went, then out of the village's makeshift fortifications, waiting until they were out of earshot to whip around with raw hunger.

"Okay, ready for steaks now." He slavered, licking his lips.

Dina grinned widely and presented one, a gold brown sauce laced over the well made flesh. Before he snatched it Philip bent over to grab a couple rocks and a clean plate, concentrating to make a plate, a fork, and after a second of thought, a knife as well.

"Thank you kindly." Plopping the steak down, he tore into it; ethical questions aside, this had to be the best tasting lump of meat he had ever tasted. Soft, moist, melting in his mouth, and simply delicious, he scarfed it down in record time. Dina beamed at him; she could teleport stuff, tell him useful things, and was a fantastic cook. What couldn't she do?

Philip squeed, wiggled in place and generally acted overdramatic. He knew that would give Dina a big head, but he didn't care at the moment. What a wonderful taste! She practically vibrated from how excited she was at his reaction.

As he ate all traces of exhaustion left his body, leaving him feeling just a bit livelier than before. When it was gone he sighed in pure bliss, reminded after a second to clump his utensils into unrecognizable lumps, littering on the forest floor. Another sigh had him burp, causing a blush.

"That was fantastic Dina, where did you learn how to make those?" He asked, trying to keep the thought of that meat being a sentient creature a little while ago at arms length. That amazing taste certainly helped.

Dina shuffled in place. "Well, you know. Orc steak is a common adventuring meal, given orc flesh capabilities to increase one's vitality. The sauce is a home recipe."

"Home eh? What was that like? Or, wait, you mean the tower?" He hoped she wasn't homesick for the ominous tower of doom already.

She nodded, smiling but with hints of anxiety. He cleared his throat.

"So, back to Yuradril?" He jabbed a thumb.

Hours later…

Entering the city again, Philip saw many more people than just a couple days ago, the bulk of them armed. Not all were human; beastmen, centaurs and minotaurs, armed with pikes and axes. Elves, archers and robed mages. Small numbers of dwarfs hauling strange machinery with the occasional holem, these ones clearly built for battle. There were even humanoid people with great white wings, as well as tall folk clad in head to toe, hiding every bit of skin.

Philip was very glad to be in his robe, he didn't want to imagine what kind of chaos flying into this powder keg would cause.

Giving everyone as wide a berth as possible, in particular those tall people who seemed like trouble, he made his way to the tavern. Going through the door, he bustled to the bar for the owner.

"Ah, welcome back! I take the mission went well?" The Barkeep greeted them as they entered the adventurers hall. He was busy handing out beers and drinks to some people who probably belonged to some of the armed groups outside, some of which were evidently not satisfied with the situation here.

"Hey, Barkeep, you can't really expect us noble Whitewings to work and eat alongside Blackwing trash, huh?" A white winged fluegel, flanked by two others, angrily complained, making several insulting hand motions to a nearby flügel with black wings sitting down the bar, who looked away and tried to get as little attention as possible.

Contrary to all common sense, Philip detoured to the white winged beings. He acted as calm as he could, leveling a flat look on the irate fighter.

"Hey bud, you know this isn't the only tavern in town?" As punctuation he pointed at the door.

"Huh, and what does this matter to you?" The fluegel stared at him arrogantly. "I am a member of the heavenly band of Gjallarhorn. This goddess forsaken dirt here-" he stabbed a finger at the blackwing. "Is poisoning our stay here before we go join the defence of Suevell against the demonic hordes and the damned Ram, who still can't get over the fact that his bitch queen of a tyrant was slain two hundred years ago. It's critical for our fighting strength to be as well prepared as possible for the coming great clash."

Internally Philip chuckled; if only he knew. "If a black wing bothers you so much, then what about the rest of the people here?"

He raised his voice slightly, so the nearest people could hear him.

"Are they just standing by while you do all the work? That would explain why they don't have a problem rubbing shoulders with other people." He glanced around to the patrons, who started to shift uncomfortably.

The whitewinged fluegel blustered up, rousing for an angry retort that would surely cause a commotion. The barkeep intervened before he could do much.

"Okay, that's enough. You have done nothing but insult my customers and harry my business since you arrived. Out!" His face was almost red from anger, and by a silent command multiple stone golems marched into the room from the back end of the tavern, ready to enforce the barkeep's commands if necessary.

For a moment the three whitewings look like they wanted to start a fight, before looking around at the many people in there staring at them, hands drifting down to their weapons as they did so. The leader scowled.

"Alright, but let it be known that Hans Gruber willingly gives shelter and comfort to minions of the demon lord rather than the rightful children of the goddess." With a final huff he turned around and left with his companions.

Philip waved at his departure, making the gesture as mocking as he could. Plopping himself at a seat, he waved for a drink.

"Water." He ordered. There was a long trip ahead and so much that needed done, he had no need to get sloshed. Peeking at the blackwinged fluegel, he considered then discarded the idea of speaking to him.

The barkeep made sure the whitewings were gone, spitting on the ground before fetching a pitcher of water. Dina waved, and received, a bottle of wine to start sipping.

"Bloody sorry that you had to watch that. Those bastards from Gjallarhorn show up and behave like they own the town. How did the mission go?" He started cleaning cups.

"No troubles, not with my little friend here." He couldn't resist, he patted the smaller girl's head. All in good nature: without her the body count would be in the hundreds and the village would cease to exist. "Killed some orcs, rescued some prisoners, made fifteen hundred eru. All in a day's work."

"Fine work, fine work." The barkeep nodded, going to prepare some ale for a group of dwarfs who had just come in.

"Thank you." Philip almost didn't register the words under the noise of the bristling full tavern. Besides him, the blackwing shuffled closer to show a timid smile, himself not looking older than twenty. Although given that he was a fluegel he may very well be centuries old.

Sparing him a peek, he waved him off then went back to sipping the water. Mentally he was already moving on; he debated whether to accept another job already, or rent an overnight room. There had to be enough for a tiny splurge, he wondered what kind of trinket Dina would want.

"Ruphas bless you." The blackwing whispered, quickly looking around for eavesdroppers. "The black winged goddess approves of what you are doing, standing up for the weak."

Philip kept drinking. "Its just a good deed, don't read into it."

Internally he pleaded for the fool to leave, silently shooing him away before he discovered he was speaking to his goddess, who didn't want his worship. He sipped, hoping he would take the hint. After a second he nodded, sipping his drink and occasionally sending glances.

Dina giggled into her wine, stifling a grin. She had heard everything, and her quiver showed her amusement at it all.

Philip sent her a look but ultimately did nothing; he liked her too much to stop her, but next time he promised he wouldn't be so forgiving. Finishing his drink, he waved again for the barkeep.

"How much for an overnight room?" He searched to find the board, giving it a glance to see what work was available.

"Hundred Eru." He replied with a wince. "Sorry, but with so many mercenaries, adventurers and soldiers marching to Suevell, every room is booked."

"That'll do." Philip dug into his bag and counted out a hundred coins, handing them over. There were plenty left, enough for short term expenses. Or to experiment with counterfeiting. "Which one?"

"First stairs up, last one on the floor."
 
That's right Philip, you're in the body of MLK and Alexander the Great combined. Man that would be weird. Well less non-violent protest and more equal rights based on race MLK. Ruphas and Alexander were rather violent. Most would flip the paradigm so that they and those like them would be on top when they rose to near absolute power rather than try to balance it so that everyone is treated equally.
There were hints that Ruphas wasn't a fluegel but instead a mutant/emergent new species due to her un fluegel like characteristics. Most notable were her lack of aversion to mana that normal fluegels are supposed to have.
 
Is Hans Gruber a reference to something?

Also, I found something incredibly hilarious:

He really IS giving shelter to minions of the Demon Lord as well as true children of the Goddess. After all, Dina is there!

As Venus, she is one of the Seven Luminaries, and therefore a direct minion of the Demon Lord.

As the avatar of Alovenus (and I JUST noticed the name similarities), there is nobody who is a truer child of the Goddess than her.

With only one person, therefore, the curse is fulfilled to the greatest extent possible!
 
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