A New Hero Rises.
- Thread starter ShieldCrown
- Start date
- Original Fantasy
- Location
- USA
Well, this is going to get apocalyptic pretty quick, isn't it?
- Location
- PA
[X]- Insectoid creatures clad in armor and wielding weapons from the far east, with large red skinned ogres with massive clubs.
I'm curious what these guys are like? Samurai bugs with Oni backup sounds a bit more unique thematically, even if I'm tempted to throw the ZOMBIES&SKELETONS for full thematic match with our Holy Man choice.
I'm curious what these guys are like? Samurai bugs with Oni backup sounds a bit more unique thematically, even if I'm tempted to throw the ZOMBIES&SKELETONS for full thematic match with our Holy Man choice.
- Location
- USA
You can have both.
King Tharassian
Governor-Militant
- Location
- Victory Bay, Kronus
[X]- A Combination of the above.
*sniffs*
It's every bit as beautiful as I imagined.... We ARE the Sunbro....
*sniffs*
It's every bit as beautiful as I imagined.... We ARE the Sunbro....
- Location
- New Mexico
[x]- A Combination of the above.
-[x] Automatons with advanced magitek weapons.
-[x] Strange creatures that don't feel natural to the world.
-[x] ZOMBIES and SKELETONS!
We need aliens with magitek, crushing the world with their hoards of soulless automatons and undead!
-[x] Automatons with advanced magitek weapons.
-[x] Strange creatures that don't feel natural to the world.
-[x] ZOMBIES and SKELETONS!
We need aliens with magitek, crushing the world with their hoards of soulless automatons and undead!
Last edited:
KnownParadox
Not a sphere
- Location
- Canada
[X]- A Combination of the above.
Honestly with the knowledge we could pick our teammates makes me feel worse that Macross Magic Massacre didn't win...
Honestly with the knowledge we could pick our teammates makes me feel worse that Macross Magic Massacre didn't win...
King Tharassian
Governor-Militant
- Location
- Victory Bay, Kronus
Technically, wouldn't it have been Magic Missile Massacre?
Given that Macross is associated with that particular setting and all...
- Location
- USA
I've updated the MC's sheet and the Party sheet.
BurningLaugh
Shape Shifting Master of Hiatus
- Location
- The Land of Retconnia
[X]- A Combination of the above.
Ultramandalore
Errant Quester
- Location
- just south of Parts Unknown
[X]- A Combination of the above.
- Location
- USA NYC
The Wandering Wolf stood in the field his body covered with the blood spilt from his brutal fists and savage hands. Foes lay around him broken and shattered by a raw style of brutal fury. One had been battered and beaten by iron palms, another had been gripped by a grip of steel and had his bones shattered and his organs rent as his flesh had been mangled and torn, still another had felt a punch like a lighting strike penetrating into them and exploding withing rupturing the body with terrible force.
Another had been struck by a kick that had snapped their neck and had it spring to stare at the heavens unseing and unblinking, A body bleeding had been pierced by hands like thrown spears and the fingers had spread while in the wounds to split them wide open revealing gleaming bone. Fingers made striking daggers overwhelming the enemy with a storm of obliterating pain as their pressure points were annihilated, Elbows used as battering rams to smash the enemy down to the floor.
Fists impacting like meteors burning past all defenses and legs axes cleaving bone from ligaments and snapping tendons. Karate chops driven downwards to crack and sunder the collar bones and ribs of his foes. Knees crashing into their spine to sever it and break the cluster of nerves there bundled up in vulnerable groupings.
Pulverised by a rain of iron fists and razor feet driven by a furious power bodies were thrown everywhere like the debris of a malstrom. Jaws shattered like glass by the hard mace of his knee rising to crash against the underside of their head as he grabbed them and pushed them to down to meet the driving bone of his rising leg. A punch from him slamming them into the wall cratering it with the explosive force of his power. The indent of his fist leaving a bruised mark a discolored brownish red and painful purple. Every strike brutal and every blow savage with raw force and coiled might. Towering over them triumphant with a mad gleam in his eyes the Wolf spoke in a voice choked with contempt.
"This is the best you can give? This is the measure of your limits? This is not Martial Arts but the scramblings of blind children who cower and cry at the slightest booboo, the pathetic mewlings of kittens and the yelping of puppies. That I should see such shame and dishonor brought near me makes my blood boil with rage and my heart pump with fury. Your form is sloppy, your technique loose, your footwork is slow and your reflexes dull. Your defense is easily shattered and your offense blown away like the aimless leaf in the storm wind.
Word after burning word stripped and flayed the defeated foes with its vitriolic energy. Those that tried to escape the verbal lashing of their pride and dignity had a foot smash downwards to force them to a ground or found a hand around their throat squeezing tight and then bashing them against the ground repetitively again and again until they stopped moving and from there continuing on with his savage triade which had his voice rising in volume like a erupting volcano soon to explode with all its molten rage and scorching hate.
"If you do not want me breaking every worthless bone in your body you will practice your Martial Way until you can at least manage to land a blow on me"
With this last parting blow at their defeated wills the Wandering Wolf left to further train with his beloved master and tell him of the great sorrow that plagued their shared Art. Behind him sneaked a vengeful warrior who sought to regain his honor and redeem his broken fists. He attacked from behind with a clenched spear hand. Vicious glee dancing in his eyes at this opportunity, glee that curdled into horror as faster then a dancing shadow the brutal fighter turned around and took the blow head on directly into his chest and then clenched his abdominal muscles hard.
Grappling with the extended arm of his shocked foe with fingers shaped into dragon claws, he drew him in close and with his eyes blazing spoke one word
"Disappointing"
Dragging the arm he held down there was a distinct snapping sound as bones in the wrist, hand carpals and arm snapped like a oaken log. Before the man could even scream the Wandering Wolf planted his feet on the ground and drew back before unleashing a curving kick that impacted the side of his held opponents head shaking the inside of his skull and making it experience severe whiplash as he flew into the nearby wall.
An: The Idea for our Monk friend is he is the student of a Master that can be described as draconic, brutal, fierce, raw, grim, savage, serious and a whole bunch of other Hard terms as a overblown Martial Arts Master. Who in his extreme intensity declares all as he calls them crippled martial arts should be purged. Now Shield Crown may not like this and so this will just be a little fun fight scene with some over the top kung fu humor. I wrote it up quick so I do not keep going at it forever and never posting it when I just give up.
Another had been struck by a kick that had snapped their neck and had it spring to stare at the heavens unseing and unblinking, A body bleeding had been pierced by hands like thrown spears and the fingers had spread while in the wounds to split them wide open revealing gleaming bone. Fingers made striking daggers overwhelming the enemy with a storm of obliterating pain as their pressure points were annihilated, Elbows used as battering rams to smash the enemy down to the floor.
Fists impacting like meteors burning past all defenses and legs axes cleaving bone from ligaments and snapping tendons. Karate chops driven downwards to crack and sunder the collar bones and ribs of his foes. Knees crashing into their spine to sever it and break the cluster of nerves there bundled up in vulnerable groupings.
Pulverised by a rain of iron fists and razor feet driven by a furious power bodies were thrown everywhere like the debris of a malstrom. Jaws shattered like glass by the hard mace of his knee rising to crash against the underside of their head as he grabbed them and pushed them to down to meet the driving bone of his rising leg. A punch from him slamming them into the wall cratering it with the explosive force of his power. The indent of his fist leaving a bruised mark a discolored brownish red and painful purple. Every strike brutal and every blow savage with raw force and coiled might. Towering over them triumphant with a mad gleam in his eyes the Wolf spoke in a voice choked with contempt.
"This is the best you can give? This is the measure of your limits? This is not Martial Arts but the scramblings of blind children who cower and cry at the slightest booboo, the pathetic mewlings of kittens and the yelping of puppies. That I should see such shame and dishonor brought near me makes my blood boil with rage and my heart pump with fury. Your form is sloppy, your technique loose, your footwork is slow and your reflexes dull. Your defense is easily shattered and your offense blown away like the aimless leaf in the storm wind.
Word after burning word stripped and flayed the defeated foes with its vitriolic energy. Those that tried to escape the verbal lashing of their pride and dignity had a foot smash downwards to force them to a ground or found a hand around their throat squeezing tight and then bashing them against the ground repetitively again and again until they stopped moving and from there continuing on with his savage triade which had his voice rising in volume like a erupting volcano soon to explode with all its molten rage and scorching hate.
"If you do not want me breaking every worthless bone in your body you will practice your Martial Way until you can at least manage to land a blow on me"
With this last parting blow at their defeated wills the Wandering Wolf left to further train with his beloved master and tell him of the great sorrow that plagued their shared Art. Behind him sneaked a vengeful warrior who sought to regain his honor and redeem his broken fists. He attacked from behind with a clenched spear hand. Vicious glee dancing in his eyes at this opportunity, glee that curdled into horror as faster then a dancing shadow the brutal fighter turned around and took the blow head on directly into his chest and then clenched his abdominal muscles hard.
Grappling with the extended arm of his shocked foe with fingers shaped into dragon claws, he drew him in close and with his eyes blazing spoke one word
"Disappointing"
Dragging the arm he held down there was a distinct snapping sound as bones in the wrist, hand carpals and arm snapped like a oaken log. Before the man could even scream the Wandering Wolf planted his feet on the ground and drew back before unleashing a curving kick that impacted the side of his held opponents head shaking the inside of his skull and making it experience severe whiplash as he flew into the nearby wall.
An: The Idea for our Monk friend is he is the student of a Master that can be described as draconic, brutal, fierce, raw, grim, savage, serious and a whole bunch of other Hard terms as a overblown Martial Arts Master. Who in his extreme intensity declares all as he calls them crippled martial arts should be purged. Now Shield Crown may not like this and so this will just be a little fun fight scene with some over the top kung fu humor. I wrote it up quick so I do not keep going at it forever and never posting it when I just give up.
Last edited:
- Location
- USA NYC
Was it fun to read? Any favorite part? and I like Martial Artists which are very different from Monks.
- Location
- canada
I have yet to read it yet, been busy writing essays
but I saw it and gave it a quick glance over and it looks good. I hope to read it soon though, but Uni is op. (college for you 'muricans.)- Location
- USA NYC
The idea for the Master was something like Might Guy but negative in mood who is surly and grouchy who loves Martial Arts and hates everything else. Except his one student. Next up is learning how to yell really loudly.I have yet to read it yet, been busy writing essays
- Location
- USA NYC
I need some over the top hardcore, brutal and extreme training methods.
Ones I have planned are
Learning how to unleash a battle cry to let loose the circulation of your Ki and have your internal energies flow while making it feel like to everything else you dropped a atomic bomb on their ear drums
Footwork training done by dancing between lighting bolts in a storm with the Sensai not even looking like he moved just a flash of white from each bolt and he is somewhere else. Then punching a bolt of lighting to have it bathe him in its currents like a warm bath
Throwing massive logs into the air to split them apart with a shattering rising knee
Learning to counter and block by deflecting dead on some very sharp and razor edged blades
Punching clubs about to hit you as in gigantic ones
Learning how to palm strike by shattering a massive stone with one blow
Spear handing some boiling water without leaving a ripple
Having to hunt your food and take it down with pressure points on things that pressure points do not work well on
Having random beat downs given that you have to be ready to fight back against
Basically think of every martial move done with brutal force and raw power, hard strength and iron might for what the hardcore, brutal and extreme training is like. The more insane the better.
Ones I have planned are
Learning how to unleash a battle cry to let loose the circulation of your Ki and have your internal energies flow while making it feel like to everything else you dropped a atomic bomb on their ear drums
Footwork training done by dancing between lighting bolts in a storm with the Sensai not even looking like he moved just a flash of white from each bolt and he is somewhere else. Then punching a bolt of lighting to have it bathe him in its currents like a warm bath
Throwing massive logs into the air to split them apart with a shattering rising knee
Learning to counter and block by deflecting dead on some very sharp and razor edged blades
Punching clubs about to hit you as in gigantic ones
Learning how to palm strike by shattering a massive stone with one blow
Spear handing some boiling water without leaving a ripple
Having to hunt your food and take it down with pressure points on things that pressure points do not work well on
Having random beat downs given that you have to be ready to fight back against
Basically think of every martial move done with brutal force and raw power, hard strength and iron might for what the hardcore, brutal and extreme training is like. The more insane the better.
King Tharassian
Governor-Militant
- Location
- Victory Bay, Kronus
.... So I see you are only working on the Monk.... Feeling salty, Wheel?
- Location
- USA NYC
I read a lot of shonen with over the top intense characters and wanted to try it out in a written format. Did you enjoy the Omake up top and what was good and bad about it?.... So I see you are only working on the Monk.... Feeling salty, Wheel?
King Tharassian
Governor-Militant
- Location
- Victory Bay, Kronus
Well.
First off, as with any critique I give (san can attest), I noticed a number of errors in punctuation and occasionally grammar. However, those are fairly easy fixes.
The concept is very good. However, the sentences run on sometimes, and formatting could be a bit cleaner.
Admittedly, I didn't understand half of what was going on. Is the Wolf the Master or the Student? If the Master, why do you mention his master in the author's note? If the student, why is he schooling the other students? And why is physical harm that would normally be considered extreme even in elite training in the Middle Ages the punishment for failure, when it would be less time-consuming and potentially fatal to simply cause bruises and knockouts? Why the broken bones? Why the severed tendons and tearing flesh? I don't read much shonen, but I don't think that the training sequences and montages involve potentially-fatal injuries that are intentional on the teacher's part, at least in the ones I've seen.
Like I said, I'm all for training sequences to establish character, so i approve of the idea, but I personally don't understand a lot of this one.
First off, as with any critique I give (san can attest), I noticed a number of errors in punctuation and occasionally grammar. However, those are fairly easy fixes.
The concept is very good. However, the sentences run on sometimes, and formatting could be a bit cleaner.
Admittedly, I didn't understand half of what was going on. Is the Wolf the Master or the Student? If the Master, why do you mention his master in the author's note? If the student, why is he schooling the other students? And why is physical harm that would normally be considered extreme even in elite training in the Middle Ages the punishment for failure, when it would be less time-consuming and potentially fatal to simply cause bruises and knockouts? Why the broken bones? Why the severed tendons and tearing flesh? I don't read much shonen, but I don't think that the training sequences and montages involve potentially-fatal injuries that are intentional on the teacher's part, at least in the ones I've seen.
Like I said, I'm all for training sequences to establish character, so i approve of the idea, but I personally don't understand a lot of this one.
ThatGuyWithIdeas
Treize died for our sins
- Location
- Romania
[X]- Kobolds and Wyverns lead by creatures similar to Lizardfolk without tails and with horns that can breath fire.
Let us not risk losing our very first fight here guys... as going for the "All of the above" option is certain to gives us a fight that we won't be able to win.
Let us not risk losing our very first fight here guys... as going for the "All of the above" option is certain to gives us a fight that we won't be able to win.
King Tharassian
Governor-Militant
- Location
- Victory Bay, Kronus
[X]- Kobolds and Wyverns lead by creatures similar to Lizardfolk without tails and with horns that can breath fire.
The man might have a point.
The man might have a point.
- Location
- USA NYC
These are all fair its supposed to be about the Wandering Wolf which this was started before we got his name fighting some other Martial Artists who are weak. I mentioned the Master to explain who had taught him and the source of his big speech. Also those are not other students but some poor smuchks who challenged him to fight and lost bad.
As for the severed tendons and tearing flesh and the training methods. I'm going with a Master who believes as part of his Martial way you must fight in a brutal and extreme way. Also its K martial Arts training from hell is par for the course and I kinda want this Monk to be one that is not seen as very normal by other Monk standards. In general I write dark stuff that is over the top and kinda edgy. On the shonen I include stuff like Torkio, Fist of the North Star and Kengan Ashua. I go for the bloodier Shonen. In general I want to get others who are better then me writing and get back into the habit of making Omakes. If its okay with you could beta the next one? To make it clearer what is going on.
King Tharassian
Governor-Militant
- Location
- Victory Bay, Kronus
I'd be happy to!