JBO
The prettiest Lucha
- Location
- Making my way to Australia
- Pronouns
- She/They
A Game of Fools - Writing a Better Story
The Abomination
The realm is dead, yet its killing goes on.
The Abomination
After a decade of wars to save the Seven Kingdoms from madness, dragons and white walkers, in the Great Council of 305 it seemed that the great lords of the realm have been driven as mad by the bloodshed as their people have been. How else does one explain a court of midgets, bandits, women and bastards led by a king that is an abomination himself. Soon after the crowning of Brandon the Broken the High Septon had departed the ruined King's Landing for the Starry Sept of Hightower as it was "less destroyed" and "safer". The truth was revealed but a year later as he denounced the false cripple wizard for the monster he was. He called on all true followers of the Seven to denounce him too and only follow a king of true faith and blood. What the avatar of the gods meant by that was soon clear as he crowned Baelor Hightower as the first king in Oldtown in millenia. A true king could have saved the realm then. But there was no true king. Indeed, no true rulers at all as all men and women who had supported his election were themselves people with little or no backing by their subjects. Indeed it seemed like a maester of little learning had written a poor story where he arbitrarily assigned them titles and lands without any knowledge of what such a decision would entail. Indeed it seemed like the lords of Westeros kind of forgot about a lot of rules that governed their society.
Brandon "The Broken" Stark GM PC
Brandon has become utterly consumed by his role as the three-eyed raven and thus leaves all actual rule to his hand, who drinks and knows things. But in the end Brandon will become the best possible king that could ever be. After all who had a better story than him?
Tyrion Lannister, Lord Paramount of the Westerlands, Hand of the King
Tyrion the imp man is the very picture of resilience that this realm needs. He is after all a survivor, not only of various regimes and political forces, but also one of character. After all instead of becoming a creature driven by mad spite and resentment as his trial for the murder of king Joffrey indicated, he has remained a saintly figure of pure character worth, never having made a single morally questionable or unjustifiable decision for the last five years. Like a hero of a cheap character play he has remained ever correct and morally white. Thus it was no great question as to who should lead the realm of the cripple king but the known two time kingslayer. His good graces with the Seven have run out it seems though as the Westerlands have erupted in civil war standing more with his cousin than him. Still, with the kingslander nobles for the most part eager to shore up a united seven kingdoms and quite in love with yet another king uninterested in ruling, Tyrion can at least feel as secure as one can be in his control of King's Landing and the lands sworn to it. How the Hand chooses to react to the chaos across the realm will likely decide the fate of the realm.
Daven Lannister, King of the Rock
Apparently the lords of the Westerlands had an issue with being ruled by an imp, murderer and kinslayer twice over instead bending the knee to his cousin who has taken Lannisport and Casterly Rock for himself. Still the Westerlands at large remain in a state of civil war.
Sansa "The Ice Queen" Stark, Queen in the North
Sansa's entire life had been a preparation to become queen. All signs of the arc of her life indicated that this would end in her wed to a king to embody the ideal woman in this patriarchal society. The fates have instead chosen to interpret this with her ending up ruling in her own right. Yet in this, she also became something of an embarrassing choice. She is the only Stark left in the lands of men, her brothers either exiles, dead or kings of another land, and her sister lost to the realm of men in the west. Yet, this status and embarrassment could easily be fixed if Sansa had actually spent some longer period time in a secluded not war torn part of Westeros. Somewhere for her to steel her knowledge and mastery of courtly crafts. Instead the pure maiden was given a fate more befit for some common daughter of a councillor and given to the fiend Ramsay as victim. She never learned what steel is within silk other than having been the victim in it. Even her realisation of Littlefingers deceptions was more a problem solved by simply talking to her sister. And indeed the one scene most northern lords remember: When Sansa had without any tact or realisation of the possible ramifications antagonised a dragon rider during a feast. Many still bless the old gods that Daenerys the Mad had not chosen that moment to burn Winterfell to the ground. Thus Sansa, a traumatised woman who apparently only learned to be colder and more of a kween instead of having any growth in character has been faced with a nobility already resentful of her given the other options. And that was until the Karstarks rebelled.
Harrion Karstark, King of Winter
His father had been executed by Robb "The Kinslayer" and since then the Karstark had somewhat disappeared from the political stage. While this could be explained somewhat with their lord likely having been a prisoner of the Red Wedding (which I assume involved hostages right? They did not just kill everyone and we have never seen any survivors? Anyways yeah using this explanation it makes sense that Harrion would only make his presence known this year when he rose in rebellion against his cousin, claiming that the Starks had all become corrupted by southern and magic influence and that thus a proper king was needed to rule in place of an all-powerful Stark dynasty that held both the Dreadfort and Winterfell. If this will be successful is unknown.
The Wildlings
For some reason the news we got of them ceased about three years ago. I cannot imagine that their integration south of the wall is going well, but that is something that happens if one writes contemporary history.
Robert Arryn, Lord Paramount of the Vale
Milk grants one strength, the foremost example of this being Robert Arryn, who has grown into a proper man and ruler in his own right. Still his support for the cripple king has sown confusion and distrust, leading his heir presumptive to rise in rebellion with the support of many of the Vale lords to claim the Vale and a crown for himself.
The Burned Men and other mountain tribes
Yeah remember those were a thing? We kind of just forgot they exist it seems. Well they have not done anything noteable for a long time so that's good right?
Harrold Hardyng, King of the Vale
Harry is no longer an heir. After seeing the milk boy accept another sick boy as king Harry has had enough. He has risen in rebellion taking many various lords of the Vale with him in rebellion to break away from a capital far away and not theirs.
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Edmure "The Should Be King" Tully, Lord Paramount of the Riverlands
An accomplished general, an adult man with many family ties to the various great lords of Westeros, Edmure put his name forward in the Great Council to be king. Instead his cripple nephew was chosen. His realm as so often was the hardest hit by the wars of the past decade and is ruled more by bandits than the various lordlings and kings. Then again, who can tell the difference in these times? In many ways it is understandable that Edmure has been stewing in his chambers pondering that maybe it is time for him to take a crown for himself.
Walder Rivers, Lord of the Twins; Walder Waters, King of the Twins; Walder Snow, Lord of the Twins; Walder Walderson, King of the Twins; Walder Stone, Lord of the Twins; Walder Smith, Lord of the Twins; "Violet" Walder, Lord of the Twins; Emmon Rivers, Lord of the Twins; Walder Walderan King of the Trident
The Twins are still shaking from the "Wolffeast" where somehow through her...I apologize to the reader as I as a master had to check my notes for this and have seen I had none. I have hunted down any witness I can find and have talked to nearly the entire citadel about this. But I therefore have to confirm that to all is known about the massacre of hundreds of people in one night that took part at the Twins, to all that is known Arya Stark somehow utilised her skills she learned at the faceless men, an order well known for their targeted assassinations, maybe some eastern magic too, but she shomehow killed the entire Frey family and fed them to Walder Frey. How such a massive massacre of people could take place not only by it being one woman against a people, but the matter of it taking place seems impossible. She somehow killed all these people and nobody took notice of them disappearing one by one? It strains credulity and I cannot make up my mind about it. Something must have taken place. A feast gone bad, one son turning on another and them all killing each other. Or Lady Stark killed the very last and then tauntingly fed them to Lord Frey himself the last survivor? I do not know. I cannot understand or make sense of it. I am a master of the citadel and therefore do not believe that magic is something that should be pursued and this episode only confirmed it to me.
The Twins are still shaking from the Wolffeast. A hundred and one claimant to the keeps have risen with various relation to the Freys from bastards to none. They are all at various times all occupying the lands around the keeps and one of the two towers all in various alliances and schemes with one another. I will not write on these men as ink is precious and of now none have come forward as a true Lord of the Twins to mark down as such.
Gendry Baratheon "The Would Be King" Lord Paramount of the Stormlands
A bastard of the late great king Robert Baratheon Gendry was elevated to his seat for lack of a better claimant. While many respect his blood and prowess in battle, even he is suffering some disunity in his realm as the Swanns are pressuring him to take the crown his father held, otherwise threatening rebellion against him to break away from the court of abominations.
Bronn of the Blackwater, Lord Paramount of the Reach, Master of Coin
A once mercenary now ruler in his own right? I am sorry, this writing was a waste of time. Nobody I describe here has any future. These are now personal notes, not the planned tome. I will only grace the two last rulers with a picture as they have a future of some sort in my mind.
Baelor Hightower, King of the High Tower
Yeah, I guess the Hightowers are back? I will not comment as they are my lords.
Alekyne Florent, King of the Reach
The Florents still worshipping their eastern gods have risen to press their claim to Highgarden with the tip of their swords.
Yara Greyjoy, Queen of the Iron Islands
Yara, a name chosen by her father as the name her mother wished for he kept confusing her with one of his servant (a booty from a raid beyond the wall) is in a better situation than most of the other great lords of Westeros in that her rule is unquestioned. This does not mean peace though as almost immediately after the various coronations across the realm, her lords have started pressuring her to resume the old ways. After all it was the dragon queen they knelt to not some cripple and a midget. Then again Yara had cast her vote herself thus she falls into a bit of an awkward position vis a vis Brandon.
Manfrey "The Nameless" Martell, Prince of Dorne
Manfrey came to rule as there was no one left. After the coup of the Vipers House Martell had come to a gruesome end. All except one a lowly courtier at his cousins court. Indeed his exact descent had to be researched and was found as a third cousin twice removed. Still as he was the only person with the name Martell who was not dead or well if one where to imagine non existant other children of Prince Doran. Thus the lords of Dorne elevated him as their Prince as a weak figurehead as they ruled themselves. And indeed Manfrey has done exactly that being reduced in presence at the Great Council as a laughing presence. Indeed many did not know who he was exactly as they had never heard of him, earning him his nickname. Still Manfrey might still get to make a name for himself yet. After all his more powerless station vis a vis his vassals has meant that so far none have risen in rebellion against him. There are whispers though. Why should a Prince know a king?
Rules
1. Nothing means nothing!
1.1 Nothing mean nothing, man.
1.2 Game Starts April 1st and will have "weekly" "turns" as a result of meme plans you send in for big war stuff. But otherwise feel free to goof off for a week as everything falls apart.
1.3 There will be a maximum of three turns as this is april fools bullshit. Behold a Black Horse will resume as soon as I saved the money to retrieve some data from a dead laptop
As introduction I am unjustifiably in a position that I'd rather not be in. But the cream will rise to the top. Understand that this is Day 1313 of the Never-Ending GSRPG World Tour, and I swear to you, I promise you, it will be the most relevant title on Sufficient Velocity. I could care less about those little kids out for the Gundam Titles, and the Korra Championship, and the other medieval Championships. This is my show. My Show! And I'm sick of all of you, my fiance, sitting there criticizing me, calling me the coward. You're the cowards! I'm not the one here day-in and day-out in that writing ring beating people up. Thank you very much. Yeah. But yeah my genius unappreciated work on never doing anything remains on the outside of this game. Nothing, zero, pure meme TV nonsense yeah and I've been uh yeah, maligned from the top to the bottom and because they can't handle the JBO the cream of the crop. Nobody does it better! And I am the cream.
Any ways yeah just write a claim for any bullshit you want and 95% I will approve you.
