A CYOA in Worm or I think my name is No No

Side Story One
SS1

**Manhattan, New York:
FBI White Collar Crime Division offices:
0900 Monday, January 10, 2011**

"So, what's the deal?" Neal Caffrey asked as he walked into the office and started handing out coffee cups to his usual teammates.

"Something about a multi-agency sting," Agent Clinton Jones said taking the coffee and one of the pastries that Neal had brought for the team. "I don't know any of the particulars, but Peter is hoping you will be up to helping with this one."

"Not just multi-agency," Dianna Barrigan, the other agent on their four-person team cut in taking her cup but forgoing the pastry. "If what I heard them saying is accurate, this could go international and re-open some of the action against you and Mozzie's Nazi problems."

Neal's eyebrows rose at that before he put on a serious face. "Well," he said to the pair, "I guess I should take Peter his morning coffee and find out what is going on." The two agents nodded at him and watched as he walked up the stairs.

"Think he'll take it?" Dianna asked.

"No question," Clinton replied, "the only thing Neal likes more than living the easy life is screwing over Nazis, and if he had a super power, then he would likely be up in Brockton bashing heads like there was no tomorrow." They smiled at each other before returning to their individual paperwork, knowing it would be best to have as much of it off their desks before things got interesting, again.

**

Peter Burke smiled as he watched his former nemesis and now friend and colleague enter the room, "Neal, I'm glad you're here," the Special Agent said looking at the former con man. "We've been asked to lead an inter-agency investigation in another area, and I really want you to be the front man for this."

"What's the job and who's the mark?" Neal asked with his usual smile as he handed Peter his coffee and looked over the other people in the room. Four were male and one female, of the men, two of them were black, while one was white and the other was Hispanic, while the woman was either middle eastern or of Mediterranean decent.

"First let me introduce the friendly players as it were," Peter said noticing his attention on the other people in the meeting. "First we have Agents Hannah Washington and Collin Wallis of the PRT. This is happening at their request and because of their witness."

The white male turned from where he had been updating the flat screen with data and nodded while the woman walked over and shook his hand. He could feel the calluses from years of firearms use in her grip, "Mr. Caffrey," she said smiling, "Special Agent Burke speaks very highly of your abilities, especially considering that you are not a Parahuman."

"Thank you, Agent Washington," Neal said smiling back. "I understand that one of the tests that they put me through when Peter first arrested me was to see if I was a Parahuman. I guess that if that had been the case then I would have likely ended up working with someone like you."

Agent Washington chuckled slightly at that while her partner grunted. "Possibly," she commented, "though you would have likely been sent to either Washington DC or Vegas if you didn't just go to prison."

Neal nodded and Peter continued speaking, "Agent Vincent Dubois is from BATF," the thinner black man nodded to Neal who nodded back. "While Agent Patrick House is here from the DEA." The other black man waved slightly at Neal while looking back from where he was watching the screen be updated. "Finally we have…"

"Horace Harkness," the man that Neal had originally taken as Hispanic said stepping forward. Up close Neal could see that he wasn't Hispanic, or at least not purely. No, this was a man who had spent years in the sun, and to many nights ending up in bar fights. "I'm from the Department of the Treasury and I am hoping that we can finally nail this bastard and his friends."

"Agent Harkness," Washington said calmly as Neal shook the stout man's hand, "has apparently been chasing leads on our target for a number of years without much luck."

"Oh, there has been plenty of luck Hannah," Harkness said with a smile. He had the face of a prize fighter and the knuckles of a barroom brawler but seemed to be a likeable person. "The problem is that with his lawyers, both foreign and domestic, he's twice as slippery as fucking Gotti ever was."

"He is," Wallis said without looking away from the screen. "But now we have an eye into his operations so to speak, and hopefully one of us will be able to bring him down for something."

Neal blinked and then smiled, "So let me make sure I have this straight," he said. "And I want to be absolutely sure what is going on before we go any further, because this is a lot of agency to come down on any group's heads, let alone one mans." All of them but Wallis turned to look at him. "What we have is someone who either is, or at least employs Parahumans for the purposes of smuggling guns, drugs and then laundering the illicit funds gathered from such, or at least smuggling them out of the area. To this we have one witness, who is probably under duress from the subject in question, and in return for consideration of her own parts in these actions has turned State's Witness against the subject and now we are working to gather actual, actionable evidence for various warrants and seizures." The group around the table looked at each other and nodded. "Well," Neal said with a smile, "doesn't that make this a fun job." Turning he looked at his boss, "I do like a challenge Peter, and you usually deliver, now, who's the mark?"

"This man," Wallis said finally stepping away from the big screen and pulling up a picture of a man flanked by two amazing blonde women. "This is Maximillian Anders, current CEO of MedHall Pharmaceuticals. It is our belief, and true according to our witness's testimony, that he is also Kaiser, the head of the gang known in Brockton Bay as the Empire 88."

"Isn't there some kind of Gentlemen's agreement about not going after capes in their personal lives," Agent Dubois said taking his seat.

"The unwritten rules are a thing amongst capes," Harkness said sitting down to Peter's left while Neal sat to his right. "The thing is, there is nothing saying that the normal government agencies, in the execution of their remit to ferret out illegal activities on the part of the civilian identity of such a cape, has to abide by that rule."

"And by having the PRT there to assist just in case the subject is a cape?" agent House asked.

"Well that's just being efficient," Wallis answered. "You never know when someone is going to trigger and being arrested can be a very stressful time." As Neal looked at the table, his gaze swept across the faces of those present and thanked god that he had Peter Burke as his pursuer. If it had been Harkness or Wallis, he would have likely been happy to spend his days rotting in solitary as opposed to trying to bluff those two.
 
I would have liked to see Neal say :

Neal blinked and then smiled, "So let me make sure I have this straight," he said. "And I want to be absolutely sure what is going on before we go any further, because this is a lot of agency to come down on any group's heads, let alone one mans." All of them but Wallis turned to look at him. "What we have is someone who either is, or at least employs Parahumans for the purposes of smuggling guns, drugs and then laundering the illicit funds gathered from such, or at least smuggling them out of the area. To this we have one witness, who is probably under duress from the subject in question, and in return for consideration of her own parts in these actions has turned State's Witness against the subject and now we are working to gather actual, actionable evidence for various warrants and seizures." The group around the table looked at each other and nodded. "Well," Neal said with a smile, "doesn't that make this a fun job." Turning he looked at his boss, "I do like a challenge Peter, and you usually deliver. So the mark is Max Anders AKA Kaiser isn't it ?
 
That would've been funnier, but the how would have stretched credibility, to my mind.

Interesting crossover. I approve! :D
 
"Horace Harkness," the man that Neal had originally taken as Hispanic said stepping forward. Up close Neal could see that he wasn't Hispanic, or at least not purely. No, this was a man who had spent years in the sun, and to many nights ending up in bar fights. "I'm from the Department of the Treasury and I am hoping that we can finally nail this bastard and his friends."

So, does he have a superior called Prescott "Scotty" Tremaine? With nobody knowing how they've stuck together?
 
Oh White Collar.... how you served me well as a really good tv show to watch with equally good main characters. I missed you so.

I'm all in on this crossover, it is wasn't sadly obvious.
 
Interlude: Informational
Interlude: Informational

An excerpt from "History of Japan, Earth Bet, 1945-Present"
Kodansha Ltd. 2006

Parahumans:
Parahumans arrived to the world in 1982 with the arrival of Scion, as is common knowledge, and while the United States had the dubious acclaim of being home of Vikare, the first recognized "cape" or "superhero", they were not the only country to end up with both heroes and villains. History does not record when or even who our first home born parahuman was, mostly because by the time anyone thought to try and find out, there were too many conflicting accounts. After much debate though, as they are wont to do, the Diet finally set down Japan's own laws regarding Parahumans, dividing them into three general legal classifications that are as follows.

Villains: Known as those who break the laws of the land, these people are all wanted by the police as well as heroes. Civilians are warned to stay well clear of them as they are of any other known law breakers who might be dangerous.

Rogues: Unlike the United States, the Diet did not see fit to pass a law similar to the American NEPEA 5 act forbidding parahumans from using their abilities to work in entertainment. In response we have, in the wake of disasters like Kyushu, been able to use the funds gathered from such businesses to provide temporarily for the displaced. Those unable to directly contribute to combat have either worked to help keep things calm in relocation camps or else donated money to assist the work of those camps.

Heroes: The hero classification is the only one to be broken down further into three subclasses, which are as follows;

  • JSDF: The Japanese Self Defense Force gladly accepts any Parahuman who has reached their age of majority and assists them by finding a field where they can put their power to good use, protecting the nation. While the UN looks down on such actions, it is the position of the Diet that, because of the proximity of the Chinese Imperial Union and their suspected use of their group known as the 'Yangban', the JSDF will continue to have its own parahuman response units to counter any possible action by the Chinese or North Koreans.

  • National Police: Much like the JSDF, the National Police has created 'Cataclysm Divisions' in almost every major metropolitan area in the country. These units operate much like a parahuman SWAT team, responding to actions that specifically require parahuman involvement due to a parahuman villain. As such, they act more like the United States Protectorate teams as opposed to their PRT.

  • The Sentai: Technically Vigilanties acting outside the law itself, the Sentai have been recognized unofficially as heroes even though they break the law while protecting civilians from villains. Often too young to join the JSDF or National Police, idealistic teens have been known to engage villains in various metropolitan areas to try and contain them and/or limit damage and casualties until the local Cataclysm Division members can arrive. These teens are often classified by their style of dress whether they act as teams or individuals:

  • Rangers: These are the most common to be seen, and usually operate in teams of four to six members. Like North American heroes and the manga and anime heroes they emulate, Rangers wear bright primary colors and full helmets to hide their identities.

  • Ninja: Dressed in the western concept of a ninja, (which is known to be that of a kabuki theater stagehand,) these teens tend to operate as individuals or in teams of three to four. Ninja are not usually seen unless their plans have either been broken, or else have to react to a direct attack against civilians like they did during the Tokyo Station Gas attack of 1995.

  • Magical Girls/Boys: Distinctive and destructive with a tendency toward large amounts of collateral damage, MGBs are more likely to operate alone as opposed to in a team. They do however on occasion seem to form teams of convenience if an enemy is too powerful or too fast for one to deal with alone. These teams rarely last past the existing enemy but they do tend to network better than other groups and also have a tendency to move into the National Police openly upon reaching their majority.
A known example of this is Tokyo Police: Cataclysm Division Captain Takamachi Nanoha. Active as a 'Magical Girl' during the mid and late nineties, the Captain became known for taking on villains all the way up to just shy of Endbringer levels. When asked by a reporter at her commissioning as an officer, why she didn't respond to Leviathan's attack on Kyushu her response was a sullen, "I was unable to access my powers at the time." It was later realized that the attack happened immediately after she had been involved in the Wolkenritter incident which had apparently left her powerless due to restrictions on the use of her powers.

While it is not JSDF nor the National Police's policy to specifically seek out former Sentai for their service, over seventy-five percent of all Cataclysm Division parahumans came from there, as do ninety percent of JSDF: PRU forces.
 
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An interesting look at some other parts of the world and how they've responded to the whole superhero thing.
A known example of this is Tokyo Police: Cataclysm Division Captain Takamachi Nanoha. Active as a 'Magical Girl' during the mid and late nineties, the Captain became known for taking on villains all the way up to just shy of Endbringer levels. When asked by a reporter at her commissioning as an officer, why she didn't respond to Leviathan's attack on Kyushu her response was a sullen, "I was unable to access my powers at the time." It was later realized that the attack happened immediately after she had been involved in the Wolkenritter incident which had apparently left her powerless due to restrictions on the use of her powers.

A damn shame that. Would have been interesting to see Leviathan being Befriended.
 
Chapter 5.2
**
Ingredients:
2-4 Boneless pork chops
8oz can of pineapple juice
8oz soy sauce
1tsp minced garlic
1-small can pineapple chunks
1 medium can Chinese vegetables
1 small bag frozen stir fry vegetables
Directions:
Cut pork chops into bite size pieces and place in bowl with soy sauce, pineapple juice and minced garlic to marinade for one-half hour
While the meat is marinating start rice or noodles as preferred.
Once meat has marinated, brown in an oiled skillet before adding the vegetables and pineapple chunks, (all drained/thawed).
Mix contents of pan thoroughly and heat through until the pork is cooked through and the vegetables are warmed but still crunchy. (can be cooked until vegetables are soft if necessary but not recommended)
Serve with or over rice/noodles as preferred.

Entirely off-topic (unless this is a cooking channel): Pineapple is one of the best marinating substances.
However, when marinating with pineapple juice, try to avoid using juice from any form of canned pineapple. You'll get the flavour from the juice, but you won't get any tenderizing. When pineapple is canned (or juice-boxed, or anything similar), the pasteurization process denatures the enzyme (bromelain) that tenderizes the meat.

Fun fact:
do not ever make Jello mixed with fresh pineapple for the exact opposite reason. The enzyme in the pineapple will break down the gelatin; it will never set. (Makes decent popsicles or green & pineapple ice cubes, though.)
 
Yum. Makes me wonder how you found that out. Though I think the though of you experimenting is too good to really want to know.
 
Honestly I have only ever had canned pineapple to work with, that said, in that particular recipe it is being used for flavoring more than anything else.
 
Yum. Makes me wonder how you found that out. Though I think the though of you experimenting is too good to really want to know.

I was headed out to visit my mother. She decided to make lime Jello with pineapple. 12 hours later (when I arrived), it still hadn't set. I told her why. Meh. At least the pineapple was nice and cold.

(Won't let me put a
t after "though" in your quote.)
 
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Another thing about pineapple, is allergies to it tend to follow the same pattern as a peanut allergy - either very mild or instant death with very little in between. Allergies to pineapple can very abruptly go from mild to lethal with no warning at all. So if pineapple makes your mouth tingle, it might be a good idea to avoid it.

There has been some research that indicates many people with an aversion to pineapple are averse because they find that allergic tingle unpleasant.
 
Allergies to pineapple can very abruptly go from mild to lethal with no warning at all. So if pineapple makes your mouth tingle, it might be a good idea to avoid it.

Sadly, fresh pineapple makes my mouth tingle and my lips sore. Happily, that only happens after I've generally eaten half or more of an entire fresh pineapple (more than a pound or so). That's about when the acid has finally cut through all of my defences; I then eat the rest the next day. It's painful, yes, but
freezing cold pineapple is worth the pain.

Why, yes, I do like pineapple; why do you ask?
Pineapple on pizza is an abomination before the Lord. Pineapple is meant to be eaten freezing cold, as spears, slushee, or extremely thick pineapple shake.

Anchovies make any pizza better.
 
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Chapter 6.3
**Sophia Hess**
Stepping into the room Sophia looked at the five back lit positions. Two held the silhouettes of men, two more that were obviously women, and then the fifth which she couldn't tell at the moment "Sophia Hess," a male voice but not one of the shadows above her said. "Also known as the Vigilante and soon former Ward Shadowstalker. You have been charged with Assault with the intent to do great bodily harm, attempted murder with a biological weapon, and conspiracy to commit the same. All this is in violation of your previous plea agreement and probation. Do you have anything to say before judgement on the revocation of your probation is rendered?"

Suddenly someone came into the room from behind Sophia, throwing light halfway up the plinths behind which the shadows sat. "Sorry for my tardiness Directors," a woman's voice said as it approached, causing Sophia to look over her shoulder. A brown-haired woman in what had to be a government issue business suit-dress stepped into the light that was spotlighting her in the otherwise dark room. "There was an issue with my verification at the gate."

"And you are?" the man on the left asked in a bemused tone.

"Janet Kowalski, Esquire," the woman answered. "I'm here to represent the Youth Guard and Miss Hess's interests."

All five of the shadowy heads nodded at that, "Very well then," the man on the left continued. "As asked, do you have anything to say before this administrative panel passes judgement on your failure to adhere to Wards standards of behavior and your probation."

"Yes I do," Sophia said loudly and clearly. "I want my lawyer, and my mother here now. You have no legal ability to take action on me without their attendance and permission." Alan Barnes had drilled those arguments into her in case she ever found herself on the wrong side of a courtroom or in this case a directorial panel again.

"First miss Hess," the woman on the panel to her left responded before picking up a piece of paper in front of her. "Your mother has washed her hands of you, Because of the evidence against you she has signed over guardianship to the state in the hope that you can be rehabilitated."

Sophia looked over at the Youth Guard rep who said nothing but shrugged slightly. "Lawyer, and mother," Sophia insisted even as her heart sank a little. If her mother had abandoned her, Not like she didn't do that years ago with that fucking bastard that was Michelle's daddy, she thought and then mentally shook her head. No, mom apologized for that incident, hasn't let anyone get that way with me again.

"Your lawyer is also not coming because he is also up to his eyeballs in the situation," the woman on the right of the panel responded. "Between the possibility of his complicity in your wrongdoing and his daughter's involvement in this particular set of charges, he has been required to stand down from your case."

Traitor, she snarled mentally before blinking. "Then where is my new lawyer?"

"The courts will assign you a lawyer when you go before them for your charges," the man on the right said coldly. "This is an internal PRT review and we are asking you to give us a reason why we should not further violate your probation by continuing on with rescinding your Wards membership."

"Lawyer, mother." Sophia stated bluntly as she cast a glance at the woman beside her who had so far said nothing. "Youth Guard Representative."

"First of all Miss Hess," the figure in the center said, showing her identity to be a woman, though a bit butch by the haircut and figure. "Your Youth Guard Rep is right there beside you, Also, as we have tried to tell you, this is an internal administrative hearing to see if we are going to kick you out of the Wards program and leave you to the not so tender mercies of the state." Sophia tried to speak at that point, to interrupt, but the woman's gaze bore down on her. "Per your plea bargain, if we remove your Wards membership, you are to be immediately remanded to the Massachusetts Department of Juvenile Justice for placement in juvenile detention. While in detention you would receive a lawyer and then have a hearing before a judge to determine if the cancellation of your membership was for cause or not. If the judge determined that it was for cause, this would be added to your charges as a Violation of Probation."

Sophia was silent for a moment, considering what was likely to happen. I could grovel, she thought. Apologize and they might just let it go with a slap on the wrist and a reassignment. But then another part of her mind countered. No, fuck them, she thought, useless bureaucratic bastards. They aren't willing to do what the city needs anyway, so fuck them. After a moment though, she finally shook her head, "If you are not going to get me my lawyer, my Youth Guard Rep, AND my mother, then I have nothing to say to you," she told them.

"Very well then," the woman at the center replied. "This administrative panel finds you in breach of your Wards behavioral requirement and hereby removes your Wards membership. Due to the violation of your plea bargain that termination for cause invokes, you will be remanded to the Massachusetts Department of Juvenile Justice for trial for Violation of Probation, Assault with intent to do great bodily harm, Attempted murder with a biological weapon, and conspiracy to commit said murder. Trooper, return her to her cell and ensure the preparations for her transfer are ready. She had a court date for a bail hearing on Friday." The trooper nodded and took Sophia by the arm, leading the teen out of the room.
**

**Taylor**
When lunch came, I was pleasantly surprised. At Winslow it had been a question of what would happen, which clique would try to get on Emma and Sophia's good side by torturing me and ruining my lunch. It was why I had taken to finding out of the way spaces to eat in in the first place. Because of this though, I entered the cafeteria with a bit of apprehension, right up until the point that Katie patted me on the shoulder and Vicky popped up behind us. "I have a usual group that I sit with," she said bouncing a bit on her toes, while Katie and I both put our hearts back in our chests. "But I'll make sure that there are seats for all four of you." With that she darted off to one of the tables that was already filling with other girls of our general age group.

"I think we all need to focus on staying calm today right Taylor?" Katie half asked from behind me. I gave her a half-hearted smile and headed for the food line. The choices here surprised me for a few minutes. Where Winslow had slop, Arcadia had identifiable food. Here there were wraps, pizza, burgers and salads, milk, juice and bottled tea. At Winslow it would have been mystery meat goulash or stew that might or might not have been spiked by the Merchant kids who passed through ahead of you. At Winslow it would have been all bargain basement backdoor deals to save money, here it was all fresh and pretty and because of that, I felt a moment of disgust that all the money that could have possibly saved Winslow was being spent here. Because the Wards are sent here, my subconscious commented.

It was only for a minute though because then the thought rushed through my brain, Fuck Winslow, what did that hell hole ever do but cause me trouble. "Katie," I said calmly but coldly as I collected a wrap a salad and a bottle of tea.

"Yeah Taylor?" she answered grabbing a couple of slices of pizza, milk and a salad.

"If I ever start bitching about how Winslow could have been saved," I said in a deadpan tone, "smack me."

The blonde chuckled as we used our new student ID's to pay for our lunches, "Sure thing," she said. "I mean, you'd do the same for me for lamenting my former associates right?" I nodded and she shrugged, "Then we're good for that, lets go eat with Vicky and Amy." I nodded again finding that indeed there were seats opposite the pair and their friends at a particular table. The fact that three of the tables had been pushed together to form a monstrous one with Vicky at the center of it meant little to me, but Akane was already sitting down and I watched Katie wave to Greg as he walked in with Dennis and Chris.
**

**Akane**
The rest of the day passed as many school days have before and would later quietly and without comment. Ah the end of the day, I thought as I walked with Taylor and Katie towards our bus. I watched a red sportscar drive by with Dean and Carlos in it and shook my head. "I'm going to have to help Dean get back at Dennis for that prank," I muttered. "A 1971 Hemicuda is not something that should be talc bombed."

"Ah, should we see if we can't get you into the auto shop class as well Akane?" Katie asked in a teasing tone of voice. "I'm sure you could have all the guys you could handle if they saw you fawning over some old muscle car."

"I can and will hurt you Katie," I grumbled good naturedly. "That was a classic though, and it didn't deserve to be used as part of a prank."

"Oh I don't disagree with you there," Katie replied giving me a smile. "Sometimes though you just have to accept the good with the bad." I just had to nod to that because it was true, so she continued. "The question becomes, which of us will manage to get a car of our own first, and what will it be?"

What would I like, and what could I afford? the thought was an interesting idea for discussion. "I won't get one any time soon," Taylor said grudgingly as we climbed onto our bus. "Things are tight enough as it is, and dad needs a newer truck to go back and forth to work in more than I need a car to waste gas in hanging out and running around." Another thought that I could only nod along with. Like Taylor, there was some money put back for me, but that was to go to college with, not for frivolous things like getting a car, or in my case, a motorbike. The thought of the wind in my hair and someone special snugged up tight behind me as we drove down the highway was just, enjoyable. The upside was that there wouldn't need to be any special changes to take it back to Japan with me if I got one. The problems though were that a proper motorcycle though, it would cost as much as a decent car, and I couldn't do half the things I could with a car, let alone the fact that I couldn't legally have one until after I turned 18 due to the endorsement restrictions.

"Honestly I just want something that gets me from point A to point B," Katie supplied even as we sat down on the bus. "Nothing fancy, though a classic like Dean's would be nice," Taylor and I both nodded to that, "but really even a beat-up old station wagon would be fine."

"Maybe by the time we're eighteen we will be able to afford something," I muttered half to myself, half to the others. "Until then we have other things to worry about." They both nodded to what I said and after a few blocks in silence we arrived at our corner.
**

Entering through the "back door" to the PRT Building was becoming fairly normal to me, and I was becoming very adept at triggering the code panel's release with my phone just close enough to put away the phone in a pocket before punching in my personal code. Walking in we turned to the right and took the stairs down two levels to the Wards area and its back door next to the showers. "Hey you guys," Missy said as she came out of her room sans visor. "There was a message left that whoever saw the three of you first to send you straight to Glenn's office.

"Costuming," I said at Katie's questioning look. "Thanks Missy, we'll head straight there as soon as we grab masks."

The younger teen shrugged and headed toward the lounge area, probably on her way to the console. "Not a problem Akane," she said. "Just give him hell alright."

"You got it," Taylor and I said at the same time, smiles going from ear to ear across our faces. Turning to Katie I asked, "You ready to fight the monster that is Public Relations?"

"Lead on McDuck" she said with a smile causing Taylor and I to both chuckle.
**
 
The thing with Hess? Couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Hope they throw the book at her, figuratively and literally.
 
Rare to see Hess get formally booted by a panel.
Nice work on that.

I cannot wait to see what those three do to Glenn! :D🍿
 
Sophia was stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you're in an administrative hearing for an offense that can go to a real court, you probably need a lawyer because anything you say at the administrative hearing can and probably will be used against you in the court. (For all you know, it may even have been deliberately set up that way.)

Sophia attacked the protagonist so not a lot of people have sympathy for her, but she's obviously being railroaded here. (Yes, she gets a lawyer later, but even successfully defending herself at that stage won't let her escape juvenile detention. In order to escape juvenile detention, she has to defend herself now.)
 
A good story in all, but this stood out to me.
Talc has been shown to cause cancer, a talc-bomb is not a prank, it is a biological hazard.
I could see Dennis not knowing that, but someone should bring it up.
I hate to start something but it was public knowledge in the 1980's, my Mom warned me not to use Talc powder on my groin because it could cause vaginal cancer when I was like 8 or 9 years old.
Have either of you got links? because the only thing i can find is Talcum Powder and Cancer which notes that Talc in the wild can contain asbestos and is the only thing it notes as being proven to be carcinogenic and that "Based on the lack of data from human studies and on limited data in lab animal studies, IARC classifies inhaled talc not containing asbestos as "not classifiable as to carcinogenicity in humans." and "Based on limited evidence from human studies of a link to ovarian cancer, IARC classifies the perineal (genital) use of talc-based body powder as "possibly carcinogenic to humans."" which would not apply to this situation as it was a male that was targeted and as such the target lacks the only organ that has even been suggested as possibly at risk of cancer from exposure to talc. I'll note that the dang thing is still sold in stores today intended for use by humans as moisture eliminators for things like the groin area and ones feet. Gold Bond body powder comes to mind off the top of my head, most forms of baby powder as well.
 
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