Chapter 9
Borrowing
Fantasy Seal
- Location
- Gensokyo
Chapter 9
My heart hammered in my chest at the words on the page. My hands shook, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
I dropped the document. I heard the paper crinkle as it fell through the air and onto the bed. Inching one eye open, I saw it laying next to me, the pages that had been stapled together splayed out like a book, one loose page having fallen out.
I clenched my hands into fists and tried to slow my breathing. Up until now, I'd at least been able to pretend somewhat that I was a normal person - not some sort of experimental clone of a teenage girl, who was given a normal life by the fortune of being able to be more powerful than other clones. Other clones who were real people too, and probably deserved to exist more than I did. But the Dark Side of Academy City - because there was no way this document wasn't made by somebody belonging to it - seemed to be intent on reminding me of my status.
Still, this was probably inevitable, as much as I was loathe to admit it. My new life was intertwined with the darker elements of the city, despite its supposed disposal of me from the beginning.
I almost didn't want to read it. My instincts were screaming at me that I didn't want to know what they'd put on there.
Though knowing the background Academy City had created for me would definitely be useful. It probably had some sort of tragedy happening to me in the recent past, considering the way Yomikawa was acting towards me, and hopefully gave some reasoning as to why I looked identical to Mikoto.
There was no way I could think clearly about this when I was so stressed out, though. So I pushed the discomfort and dark thoughts into the back of my mind, instead thinking about what I could do to calm down.
Taking a deep breath, I held it in for a few seconds before letting it out with a sigh. I repeated the action a few times until my heart, already having calmed somewhat, had reached a steady rate. I took a few more seconds to breathe, then reached out again to pick up the document.
This time, it wasn't nearly as difficult to read past the first line. The first page seemed to be an information page more than anything.
I read down the page. The first section seemed to be about how I was to be referred to, considering how it was laid out. There was a small table with three rows and two columns. The left column seemed to contain the category of names.
The first row read 'Official Designation: Optimal Result (Misaka BEST),' the latter part being in Katakana. Not too much of a surprise (though honestly 'Optimal Result' was a bit weird). My eyes skimmed through the second row, which read 'Serial Number: Misaka 9984.'
I tried not to think about what the original 9984 was like, and how I stole her (very short) life from her.
Going to the next line, I saw the left column read 'Legal Name.' I looked at the right column.
I blinked, then squinted. No, that couldn't be right. I had to be misreading it or something, or the Japanese skills Testament had given me were messing up. I read over it again, just to make sure.
It was still the same.
Frowning, I looked at the top row again, then back at the bottom row. Trying to compare every aspect of the kanji in the top and bottom row, I felt my heart sink.
I wasn't seeing things.
My full legal name was apparently Misaka Minami - and I had no illusions that 'Misaka' had different kanji from Mikoto's. The kanji for 'Minami' read 'Beautiful Wave,' though. I liked that.
I shook my head, focusing on the surname - no time for admiring my own name right now. This was, to say the absolute least, not good. I'd already had reasons to avoid Misaka Mikoto, and this just compounded on them. I hoped to god that I got put into a school as far away as possible from Saten and Uiharu. Don't get me wrong, they seemed like cool people - Saten especially, given that I'd already met her - but I didn't want to meet Mikoto through them (which I probably would eventually if Saten was lucky and we went to the same school as each other, given the shared surname and similarity in appearance and how they'd grow to be friends some time, and how Saten seemed to be looking for me to be her friend), and for her to be suspicious of the sheer similarities between me and her, especially since we shared the same surname - and then she'd puzzle out the existence of Project Radio Noise - and by extension, the Level 6 Shift.
I could probably make an excuse that our similarities were sheer variance to be fair; that seemed like it would be more likely than me being her clone, especially in Academy City.
Still, there was probably a way I could manage to be friends with Saten without being introduced to Mikoto. It wasn't like making friends with her would be a particularly bad thing, after all; I mean, she was a pretty nice person. And having one friend who was like that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, right?
And actually, thinking about it, wouldn't it be good if I could let her know about the Level 6 Shift earlier than normal? I felt a smile start to form on my face. I could save all those people. I could make it so that hundreds of people - maybe over a thousand, even - could live, where before they would have died.
Just as my smile was about to widen into a full-blown giddy one, I froze and my heart plummeted. Accelerator was the one who was the focus of the Level 6 Shift. If I told Mikoto about it early, she'd probably rush in trying to stop him and either die, or not make much difference to it at all - she had barely done much to the experiment in the original timeline, after all.
But then again, this wasn't that timeline, was it?
This wasn't some book or comic, or even an anime. This was reality. There wasn't any kind of author or animator or something controlling these people's movements - they had their own lives, their own histories, and their own motivations.
So maybe, in this world, there was a way that Misaka Mikoto could beat Accelerator.
...yeah, right. I would have snorted if this wasn't as serious as it was. Accelerator was insanely powerful, and there was no way Mikoto could beat him. Almost no-one could.
Almost. But there was one person who could.
I needed to tell Kamijou Touma about the Level Six Shift experiment.
Not now, of course, but the first chance I could get. After all, despite my attempts to convince myself otherwise, I couldn't not interfere when someone was being hurt in front of me. Even if the consequences for it were dire.
But still, I had to reluctantly admit that now wasn't the time to think about that or plan for the future like that. I needed to finish reading this document.
I started reading further.
The first page seemed to mostly be information about me - or rather, information about who they'd made me. My blood type, height, weight, even my birthday (the 21st of August, 2007).
There was also one on my ability.
It read 'Level 3.' A couple of lines below read something like this: 'Misaka BEST is projected to be able to project and control electricity with roughly twice the amperage and voltage of an average Misaka clone as of her current level of ability, or 100000 volts and 2250 amperes. Her ability is projected to reach Level 4 within 4 months, and reach Level 5 within 8.'
"What?"
I just stared at the paper, my mind whirling.
Me being twice as powerful as the Sisters was kind of confusing. I suppose it must have been something to do with Personal Reality? As far as I understood it, the concept worked somewhat like self-delusion.
If that was the case, I knew I was good at that.
Still, the fact that they expected me to reach Level 5 by… January of next year, since right now it was May? And Level 4 by October- no, September even?
That was kind of terrifying. If I didn't reach that level by then, I didn't want to know what they'd do to me. I didn't think I could do that.
Still, there was a part of me that was essentially saying that of course I'd reach Level 5 in that short amount of time, since there was nothing else I could be, clearly.
I winced, trying to squash that part of me. It was kind of embarrassing to me that something so arrogant even existed in me. Even so, it was a part of me, to be fair, which meant I did agree on some level.
That is to say, I felt pretty sure I'd be able to reach Level 4, maybe even Level 5 after that. It might have been kind of arrogant of me, but that was just a part of me that existed. But I wasn't so sure I could reach Level 5 in less than a year. Maybe 5 years, but 8 months? That was just kind of crazy.
But once again, this really wasn't the main point of reading this document. I sighed. Once again, I'd gone on a reading tangent that I shouldn't have.
I needed to find my 'background.'
I turned the page, looking at the back of the first piece of paper, and read the top line of the page.
It read 'Personal History.'
My eyes narrowed. This was what I was looking for.
I straightened out the page and started to read.
Ten or so minutes later, I put the document down on the bed, staring at the paper with a blank expression.
Well… that certainly explained why Yomikawa was reacting the way she was.
Supposedly my fabricated 'family' in this life - who were related to Mikoto's family, oh, and let's not mention the fact that I was supposed to be her biological sister according to this fabricated backstory - had died in a car crash, and I'd immediately been snapped up by the Dark Side of Academy City. I'd been a Child Error who'd been given drugs to attempt to increase my Esper ability that messed up my endocrine system, and Yoshikawa had rescued me from that fate in order to deliver me to Yomikawa for safekeeping.
Then there was the fact that apparently, both my fake parents had been infertile, and as such Misuzu and Tabigake (the name was a bit easier to remember in Japanese than English) had supposedly been willing to give me to them after being surrogates. The both of them. Which meant that officially I was Mikoto's biological sister.
I tried not to think about what they had to have done to Mikoto's parents to make sure my cover story didn't fall through.
Or even Mikoto herself.
Still, the story came uncomfortably close to the truth. Not the adopted part, of course, but the fact that something had happened to separate me from my parents, and had essentially forced me into being a guinea pig for amoral Academy City scientists.
It was just that instead of a year ago, it was now instead.
I sighed. It looked like I'd read the last page of the document. There probably wasn't anything on the back of this page, but it couldn't hurt to check.
I turned the page, looking at the back. I didn't expect anything, to be honest, so I was kind of surprised when I found my name written in Kanji in black ink, followed by what looked like a note.
'Minami,' it read, 'I've gone through some trouble to procure a copy of this for you to read. It should allow you to have some semblance of normality in your life, and integrate into your middle school life, as well as your home life with Aiho. Despite the fact that Aiho has knowledge of the Dark Side of Academy City, she does not have knowledge of your status as a clone of Railgun, or the cloning experiments occurring within Academy City as of yet. However, I was not the one to fabricate the majority of this history.'
I blinked. Hold up. The way this was written sounded kind of familiar. I looked down at the next paragraph.
'My involvement only extends to your given legal name, and the final segment. The rest of this fabricated history was created by other Academy City scientists. Despite that, the majority of this information is considered classified by Academy City, with your background as a clone even further classified, with only those with S-ranked Network Terminals and those involved in the experiment able to access this information.'
I stared. "S-rank Network Terminals?" I whispered. I wasn't totally informed on what that meant, but I knew what S generally tended to imply in Japanese ranking systems.
It meant the very top.
And from what I knew, that meant Aleister Crowley.
I really didn't want to think about what that meant, so I turned my attention back to the note.
'In addition, I have become involved with the project focused around you alongside the Level 6 Shift project, so as such, I will try and do the best an unkind woman like me can to help you live a normal life, to help atone for being unable to stop the city from putting you in such a situation in the first place.'
"Signed, Yoshikawa Kikyou," I mumbled to myself. Below it was a short postscript.
'PS: your ID card is in the envelope this document was enclosed in. Also, please make sure to hide this somewhere it won't be found. I wasn't joking about this being classified.'
I wasn't too surprised about who had written the note. After all, Yoshikawa was the one who'd essentially been the only person to help me through everything I'd gone through after I'd awoken as a clone.
I hadn't had a chance to digest the sheer enormity of the document yet. Still, the fact that Yoshikawa was willing to get me a copy of the document was kind of relieving in a way, and the fact that she'd even gone to the lengths of getting involved with the project in order to help me have a normal life made me feel warm in my chest.
But the fact that she said she was doing this to help atone for putting me in this situation… I frowned. That didn't sit right with me. It wasn't her fault that I'd become, or possessed, or hell, maybe even been reincarnated as Minami.
I didn't even know if it was anyone's fault.
If it was, though… I shuddered. The idea that someone had enough power to do that scared me.
Then I remembered Othinus, the Magic God, who had supposedly destroyed and recreated the world.
Needless to say, if I hadn't hastily squashed that particular train of thought I probably wouldn't have gotten much sleep that night.
I shook my head. Making sure to follow the instructions on the note, I stowed the document behind my pillow. I picked up all the other documentation I'd taken out of the manila folder, including the envelope the document came from (which was surprisingly heavy; guess the ID card was in there after all) and put them all back in the folder.
Still, I needed to set things straight with Yoshikawa and let her know it wasn't her fault. Sometimes things just happened, and there was nothing you could do about them.
Like what happened with me, and how I lost my life, my friends, and my whole family.
The corners of my eyes felt wet, before the wetness started rolling down my cheeks.
I touched a wet area on my left cheek with a finger, pulling the finger away and looking at it. There was a wet spot.
"Oh," I said. "I'm crying."
I wasn't too surprised. This had probably been coming for the last few days. I was honestly somewhat of a crier - sometimes even a crybaby. I cried over the most ridiculous things.
So crying over being torn from my life, family, and friends? I was surprised I'd lasted this long.
I shuddered, and sobs started to wrack my body. God… what were my parents even thinking had happened to me? Had I died, to them, or was I missing without a trace?
I wanted my mummy, and my daddy, and my younger sister (as annoying and nitpicky as she could be), and my puppy, and even my plushies that I liked to lay in bed with.
I could feel the sobs wracking my body now.
God, I wanted to go home.
I closed my eyes, whimpering. I took deep breaths, trying to calm down.
Finally, after a couple of minutes like that, I felt myself start to relax. I tried keeping my mind off of the situation by any way possible - even immature methods like counting sheep.
I stayed like that for half an hour as I drifted off to sleep.
My dreams were filled with odd hugging moments and forehead kisses.
My heart hammered in my chest at the words on the page. My hands shook, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
I dropped the document. I heard the paper crinkle as it fell through the air and onto the bed. Inching one eye open, I saw it laying next to me, the pages that had been stapled together splayed out like a book, one loose page having fallen out.
I clenched my hands into fists and tried to slow my breathing. Up until now, I'd at least been able to pretend somewhat that I was a normal person - not some sort of experimental clone of a teenage girl, who was given a normal life by the fortune of being able to be more powerful than other clones. Other clones who were real people too, and probably deserved to exist more than I did. But the Dark Side of Academy City - because there was no way this document wasn't made by somebody belonging to it - seemed to be intent on reminding me of my status.
Still, this was probably inevitable, as much as I was loathe to admit it. My new life was intertwined with the darker elements of the city, despite its supposed disposal of me from the beginning.
I almost didn't want to read it. My instincts were screaming at me that I didn't want to know what they'd put on there.
Though knowing the background Academy City had created for me would definitely be useful. It probably had some sort of tragedy happening to me in the recent past, considering the way Yomikawa was acting towards me, and hopefully gave some reasoning as to why I looked identical to Mikoto.
There was no way I could think clearly about this when I was so stressed out, though. So I pushed the discomfort and dark thoughts into the back of my mind, instead thinking about what I could do to calm down.
Taking a deep breath, I held it in for a few seconds before letting it out with a sigh. I repeated the action a few times until my heart, already having calmed somewhat, had reached a steady rate. I took a few more seconds to breathe, then reached out again to pick up the document.
This time, it wasn't nearly as difficult to read past the first line. The first page seemed to be an information page more than anything.
I read down the page. The first section seemed to be about how I was to be referred to, considering how it was laid out. There was a small table with three rows and two columns. The left column seemed to contain the category of names.
The first row read 'Official Designation: Optimal Result (Misaka BEST),' the latter part being in Katakana. Not too much of a surprise (though honestly 'Optimal Result' was a bit weird). My eyes skimmed through the second row, which read 'Serial Number: Misaka 9984.'
I tried not to think about what the original 9984 was like, and how I stole her (very short) life from her.
Going to the next line, I saw the left column read 'Legal Name.' I looked at the right column.
I blinked, then squinted. No, that couldn't be right. I had to be misreading it or something, or the Japanese skills Testament had given me were messing up. I read over it again, just to make sure.
It was still the same.
Frowning, I looked at the top row again, then back at the bottom row. Trying to compare every aspect of the kanji in the top and bottom row, I felt my heart sink.
I wasn't seeing things.
My full legal name was apparently Misaka Minami - and I had no illusions that 'Misaka' had different kanji from Mikoto's. The kanji for 'Minami' read 'Beautiful Wave,' though. I liked that.
I shook my head, focusing on the surname - no time for admiring my own name right now. This was, to say the absolute least, not good. I'd already had reasons to avoid Misaka Mikoto, and this just compounded on them. I hoped to god that I got put into a school as far away as possible from Saten and Uiharu. Don't get me wrong, they seemed like cool people - Saten especially, given that I'd already met her - but I didn't want to meet Mikoto through them (which I probably would eventually if Saten was lucky and we went to the same school as each other, given the shared surname and similarity in appearance and how they'd grow to be friends some time, and how Saten seemed to be looking for me to be her friend), and for her to be suspicious of the sheer similarities between me and her, especially since we shared the same surname - and then she'd puzzle out the existence of Project Radio Noise - and by extension, the Level 6 Shift.
I could probably make an excuse that our similarities were sheer variance to be fair; that seemed like it would be more likely than me being her clone, especially in Academy City.
Still, there was probably a way I could manage to be friends with Saten without being introduced to Mikoto. It wasn't like making friends with her would be a particularly bad thing, after all; I mean, she was a pretty nice person. And having one friend who was like that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, right?
And actually, thinking about it, wouldn't it be good if I could let her know about the Level 6 Shift earlier than normal? I felt a smile start to form on my face. I could save all those people. I could make it so that hundreds of people - maybe over a thousand, even - could live, where before they would have died.
Just as my smile was about to widen into a full-blown giddy one, I froze and my heart plummeted. Accelerator was the one who was the focus of the Level 6 Shift. If I told Mikoto about it early, she'd probably rush in trying to stop him and either die, or not make much difference to it at all - she had barely done much to the experiment in the original timeline, after all.
But then again, this wasn't that timeline, was it?
This wasn't some book or comic, or even an anime. This was reality. There wasn't any kind of author or animator or something controlling these people's movements - they had their own lives, their own histories, and their own motivations.
So maybe, in this world, there was a way that Misaka Mikoto could beat Accelerator.
...yeah, right. I would have snorted if this wasn't as serious as it was. Accelerator was insanely powerful, and there was no way Mikoto could beat him. Almost no-one could.
Almost. But there was one person who could.
I needed to tell Kamijou Touma about the Level Six Shift experiment.
Not now, of course, but the first chance I could get. After all, despite my attempts to convince myself otherwise, I couldn't not interfere when someone was being hurt in front of me. Even if the consequences for it were dire.
But still, I had to reluctantly admit that now wasn't the time to think about that or plan for the future like that. I needed to finish reading this document.
I started reading further.
The first page seemed to mostly be information about me - or rather, information about who they'd made me. My blood type, height, weight, even my birthday (the 21st of August, 2007).
There was also one on my ability.
It read 'Level 3.' A couple of lines below read something like this: 'Misaka BEST is projected to be able to project and control electricity with roughly twice the amperage and voltage of an average Misaka clone as of her current level of ability, or 100000 volts and 2250 amperes. Her ability is projected to reach Level 4 within 4 months, and reach Level 5 within 8.'
"What?"
I just stared at the paper, my mind whirling.
Me being twice as powerful as the Sisters was kind of confusing. I suppose it must have been something to do with Personal Reality? As far as I understood it, the concept worked somewhat like self-delusion.
If that was the case, I knew I was good at that.
Still, the fact that they expected me to reach Level 5 by… January of next year, since right now it was May? And Level 4 by October- no, September even?
That was kind of terrifying. If I didn't reach that level by then, I didn't want to know what they'd do to me. I didn't think I could do that.
Still, there was a part of me that was essentially saying that of course I'd reach Level 5 in that short amount of time, since there was nothing else I could be, clearly.
I winced, trying to squash that part of me. It was kind of embarrassing to me that something so arrogant even existed in me. Even so, it was a part of me, to be fair, which meant I did agree on some level.
That is to say, I felt pretty sure I'd be able to reach Level 4, maybe even Level 5 after that. It might have been kind of arrogant of me, but that was just a part of me that existed. But I wasn't so sure I could reach Level 5 in less than a year. Maybe 5 years, but 8 months? That was just kind of crazy.
But once again, this really wasn't the main point of reading this document. I sighed. Once again, I'd gone on a reading tangent that I shouldn't have.
I needed to find my 'background.'
I turned the page, looking at the back of the first piece of paper, and read the top line of the page.
It read 'Personal History.'
My eyes narrowed. This was what I was looking for.
I straightened out the page and started to read.
Ten or so minutes later, I put the document down on the bed, staring at the paper with a blank expression.
Well… that certainly explained why Yomikawa was reacting the way she was.
Supposedly my fabricated 'family' in this life - who were related to Mikoto's family, oh, and let's not mention the fact that I was supposed to be her biological sister according to this fabricated backstory - had died in a car crash, and I'd immediately been snapped up by the Dark Side of Academy City. I'd been a Child Error who'd been given drugs to attempt to increase my Esper ability that messed up my endocrine system, and Yoshikawa had rescued me from that fate in order to deliver me to Yomikawa for safekeeping.
Then there was the fact that apparently, both my fake parents had been infertile, and as such Misuzu and Tabigake (the name was a bit easier to remember in Japanese than English) had supposedly been willing to give me to them after being surrogates. The both of them. Which meant that officially I was Mikoto's biological sister.
I tried not to think about what they had to have done to Mikoto's parents to make sure my cover story didn't fall through.
Or even Mikoto herself.
Still, the story came uncomfortably close to the truth. Not the adopted part, of course, but the fact that something had happened to separate me from my parents, and had essentially forced me into being a guinea pig for amoral Academy City scientists.
It was just that instead of a year ago, it was now instead.
I sighed. It looked like I'd read the last page of the document. There probably wasn't anything on the back of this page, but it couldn't hurt to check.
I turned the page, looking at the back. I didn't expect anything, to be honest, so I was kind of surprised when I found my name written in Kanji in black ink, followed by what looked like a note.
'Minami,' it read, 'I've gone through some trouble to procure a copy of this for you to read. It should allow you to have some semblance of normality in your life, and integrate into your middle school life, as well as your home life with Aiho. Despite the fact that Aiho has knowledge of the Dark Side of Academy City, she does not have knowledge of your status as a clone of Railgun, or the cloning experiments occurring within Academy City as of yet. However, I was not the one to fabricate the majority of this history.'
I blinked. Hold up. The way this was written sounded kind of familiar. I looked down at the next paragraph.
'My involvement only extends to your given legal name, and the final segment. The rest of this fabricated history was created by other Academy City scientists. Despite that, the majority of this information is considered classified by Academy City, with your background as a clone even further classified, with only those with S-ranked Network Terminals and those involved in the experiment able to access this information.'
I stared. "S-rank Network Terminals?" I whispered. I wasn't totally informed on what that meant, but I knew what S generally tended to imply in Japanese ranking systems.
It meant the very top.
And from what I knew, that meant Aleister Crowley.
I really didn't want to think about what that meant, so I turned my attention back to the note.
'In addition, I have become involved with the project focused around you alongside the Level 6 Shift project, so as such, I will try and do the best an unkind woman like me can to help you live a normal life, to help atone for being unable to stop the city from putting you in such a situation in the first place.'
"Signed, Yoshikawa Kikyou," I mumbled to myself. Below it was a short postscript.
'PS: your ID card is in the envelope this document was enclosed in. Also, please make sure to hide this somewhere it won't be found. I wasn't joking about this being classified.'
I wasn't too surprised about who had written the note. After all, Yoshikawa was the one who'd essentially been the only person to help me through everything I'd gone through after I'd awoken as a clone.
I hadn't had a chance to digest the sheer enormity of the document yet. Still, the fact that Yoshikawa was willing to get me a copy of the document was kind of relieving in a way, and the fact that she'd even gone to the lengths of getting involved with the project in order to help me have a normal life made me feel warm in my chest.
But the fact that she said she was doing this to help atone for putting me in this situation… I frowned. That didn't sit right with me. It wasn't her fault that I'd become, or possessed, or hell, maybe even been reincarnated as Minami.
I didn't even know if it was anyone's fault.
If it was, though… I shuddered. The idea that someone had enough power to do that scared me.
Then I remembered Othinus, the Magic God, who had supposedly destroyed and recreated the world.
Needless to say, if I hadn't hastily squashed that particular train of thought I probably wouldn't have gotten much sleep that night.
I shook my head. Making sure to follow the instructions on the note, I stowed the document behind my pillow. I picked up all the other documentation I'd taken out of the manila folder, including the envelope the document came from (which was surprisingly heavy; guess the ID card was in there after all) and put them all back in the folder.
Still, I needed to set things straight with Yoshikawa and let her know it wasn't her fault. Sometimes things just happened, and there was nothing you could do about them.
Like what happened with me, and how I lost my life, my friends, and my whole family.
The corners of my eyes felt wet, before the wetness started rolling down my cheeks.
I touched a wet area on my left cheek with a finger, pulling the finger away and looking at it. There was a wet spot.
"Oh," I said. "I'm crying."
I wasn't too surprised. This had probably been coming for the last few days. I was honestly somewhat of a crier - sometimes even a crybaby. I cried over the most ridiculous things.
So crying over being torn from my life, family, and friends? I was surprised I'd lasted this long.
I shuddered, and sobs started to wrack my body. God… what were my parents even thinking had happened to me? Had I died, to them, or was I missing without a trace?
I wanted my mummy, and my daddy, and my younger sister (as annoying and nitpicky as she could be), and my puppy, and even my plushies that I liked to lay in bed with.
I could feel the sobs wracking my body now.
God, I wanted to go home.
I closed my eyes, whimpering. I took deep breaths, trying to calm down.
Finally, after a couple of minutes like that, I felt myself start to relax. I tried keeping my mind off of the situation by any way possible - even immature methods like counting sheep.
I stayed like that for half an hour as I drifted off to sleep.
My dreams were filled with odd hugging moments and forehead kisses.
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