"So where are we going?" Lazuli was dressed in something other than a maid outfit because I told her we were going out and that was obviously a dress for indoors and when she was in my doors. More importantly, I thought it'd be nice to have her dressed like an Average Japanese Highschool Student.
It was a cute look, okay?
"Oh, you know, I just thought we ought to have some awesome adventures... relax a little, get away from the office. I've been in this place for too long! It'll be like a vacation! Look, and we don't even have to sit on an airplane for like ten hours." And I was certainly dressed for a vacation!
"That didn't answer my question, Bulma. Where are we going?" She tapped her feet and leaned against the wall, all delinquent-like and cool.
"Some other worlds—not like space travel though! This is dimensional travel, it's totally different! Watch this, kaboom a portal!" I spun the portal gun out of its holster and shot a portal into the air before us. Little did she know, I had practiced this move in the mirror for a couple of days. It took me some time before the portal gun would stop falling out of my fingers the moment I took it out.
"This is like magic..." Lazuli blinked.
She walked up to the portal with an obsessed and crazed gleam in her eyes. Then she turned back to me before tracing a finger along the edge of the green, gooey portal. It was almost like she was in a trance.
I snapped my fingers before her eyes.
That seemed to do the trick, so I added, "It is magic. Well, partly anyway. Part of it is science, obviously."
"What's the difference between this and your science? That's also very... magical. Don't think I didn't notice the portal gun was running on a fake AA battery!" She pointed at the portal gun.
I smiled sheepishly. "Oh, not, that's Magical ™ , it's trademarked and a marketing thing for our tech."
"That's not what I mean, and you know it, Bulma." She harrumphed and crossed her arms.
"Fine, fine... so science is learning the rules of the universe and bending it over the kitchen counter and fu—"
"Bulma!"
"Okay, fine. Our technology is from learning more about the world. We find out what we can and cannot do and try to push those boundaries. Magic is where we define the rules. I learned that after learning how to track the Dragonballs, actually... you can't impose anyone else's logic on magic. You can't impose the rules of the universe on magic. Whoever makes with the magic is the only one who can set the limits." After saying so, I twirled my fingers like so, and a swirl of glistening sparkles filled the air, like in that Disney movie from a long, long time ago with Cinderella, when she first got her dress made for her.
Lazuli chewed on this for a minute. "That's a very fancy way to say a whole lot of nothing..."
"Magic has no rules." I repeated, "That's all. If you want to do magic, you have to start by embracing infinity and accepting everything is possible."
"Sounds like you learned magic?" She peered at me curiously.
"Oh no, of course not. Don't be silly." I waved her off.
"Then how did you know that...?"
"I have people to do that for me."
"... Of course you do."
I shrugged, I knew her long enough to gauge her reactions by now. "That doesn't mean I can't take what they learned and use it. I suppose it's similar to the C-Phone; people who make the nifty little bits know more about those bits than me, but I can still use the thing—"
"Hold on a minute... that doesn't make any sense." She pointed at me, leaning dangerously close. "You make the phone. You made every part of it, it's all part of your, ahem, 'marketing'. Even I know this!"
"Right." I rolled my eyes again, "But it's not like it's a stagnant device, besides, we want users to replace it every year or two."
"That's... well, kind of evil, Bulma."
"Oh, come on! That's lawful neutral at best!" I protested.
"I'm not going to have this conversation..." She tossed her hands in the air. "I'm not going to have this conversation... Look, so you can do magic, right?"
"Eh... approximately." I shrugged again.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" She turned back to me. "Don't make it confusing, just tell it to me straight."
"It's sort of like one of those classic roleplaying game wizards—"
"Nerd."
"Ahem. You wanna know this or not?"
She sat down, knowing this was going to be a longer conversation than she thought. "... Yes, but can you, like, not talk about your roleplaying games? You already talked my ear off with your obsession with, what was that word again? Cosplay? Don't start that again."
"What's wrong with cosplay?" I pouted.
"Look, can we just...?"
"What's wrong with cosplay, Lazuli?!" I pounced upon her and held her down by her shoulders.
"N-Nothing! Look, it's just a bit much okay?" For some reason, she kept looking away from my face. "I'm fine if you wanna dress up as a sexy angel or a sexy doctor or whatever, but why do I have to do it too?"
"Why not?" I whined. Wait, no, I didn't whine, I, I was just complaining. Yeah, that was it.
"You... you're really going to make me say it, huh?" She was a bit red now, and it reached down to her neck. Was she mad at me?
"I can't read your mind—wait, actually, you know what, I-I could but that's not the point! I can't tell what you're thinking if you're like this!" I stared intently into her eyes, promising myself to learn how to read minds like Muten Roshi in the future.
"... And I'm just going to ignore that and tell you straight. I can't act. I can't roleplay. I. Can't. Act." She enunciated each syllable with painful slowness through her gritting teeth, almost like she was growling at me.
It was kind of hot, to be honest.
"Yes, you can." I poked her cheeks, "You're totes cute doing it too, don't be shy!"
"S-Stop! Just, just stop it!" She slapped away that offending finger, "Let's just talk about something more normal, like magic, okay??"
"Fine... what do you wanna know...?" I backed off.
"Can you do magic?"
"... Yes."
"Stop pouting, you know I don't like surprises." She crossed her arms, "What can you do with magic?"
"Well, I can do just about anything, I guess... probably?" I waved my hands around animatedly. There was a lot to say on the topic, but I didn't really want to bog us down when I was time to head out and have some fun. "Within reason. The more complicated, the more rules I'll have to make, so simple things are better. Like if you told me to erase every bad person who'll try to destroy this planet from ever coming into being, well, I'll probably never finish casting the spell!"
"What about this... traveling to another dimension? How does this work?" She looked over at the portal, which was now wavering and probably going to blink out soon. It was one of the many, many safety measures I had placed into it, for good reason too.
Still, that portal wasn't going anywhere dangerous. It was like, you know, Cross Epic or whatever that crossover one shot was. It was safe, probably. "Oh! You mean like... ah, well don't worry about it. We're going to just other Shonen Jump worlds, it's fast and easy. They crossover all the time anyway."
"... Bulma, I couldn't understand a single word you said." She deadpanned.
"Erm. Timey-whimey-magically-don't-question-it-it's-magic?" I shrugged, not for the first time that day.
"Bulma..." Lazuli hissed.
I raised my hands in submission, "Look, the answer you're looking for is dangerously close to breaking the fourth wall. Now, if you have any other non-universe breaking questions, I'll be happy to answer them."
"... So basically you have magic, but you can't use it. You know the explanations to these hows and whys, but you can't tell me." It sounded like she was working up to a rant. "Okay. Okay. Fine. Can you at least tell me why we can't just fix all our problems with magic?"
"Lazuli, look, magic is without rules," I said again.
"I know that. You just told me," She laughed.
"No. Magic has no rules." I held her down, and stared at her, hoping I could convey all that I wanted with these words. There was no concise way to say it, no way to say it accurately. Any explanations I could give would only fall short.
"I... don't understand?" She was looking away from me again. Why??
"Yes, you don't." I tried, "Magic has no rules, Lazuli."
"Stop that, you're creeping me out." She wasn't laughing anymore, more like a nervous hiccup than even a giggle now.
"Magic has no rules. Magic has no rules." I was inches away from her, and I felt my heart jump when I saw the intensity of my eyes reflected in hers. It made me back off.
I realized I couldn't... I shouldn't try to impart upon her the depths of magic.
It wouldn't end well.
I didn't want to lose my friend.
"You're just repeating the same thing over and over again! That doesn't tell me anything!" She shouted back at me, almost as if she wanted to push me away, but couldn't. That was a silly thought; she was tens of thousands of times stronger than me after all.
"It's simple." I waved my fingers helplessly, not quite sure how to explain it simply. "Just like I have to make the rules for each magic so that they do what they do, so too would I need to make the rules on what it can't do. Or else we're boned."
Lazuli blinked, her eyes were wide. "Like... like if we had a magic spell to make fire, but it didn't stop or there was no limit to how much fire it makes every second? Is that what you mean?"
"More, Lazuli." I nodded, "More. More. You can't just have logical limits, there are also limits that are, well, outside of the box. How else do you think the dragonballs could grant nearly any wish? Imagine if the fire that spell made was fire you couldn't see but it still burned. Imagine there was a duplicate of that fire made somewhere else every time you made one. Imagine it took someone else's fire away from them when it you make it yours. Imagine that fire brought more than just fire into the world. Imagine that the fire was taken from a different time rather than a different place."
She covered her forehead with her palm. "Okay, you can stop now, Bulma. I'm going to lie down and forget this conversation ever happened."
I crept up behind her and whispered in her ear, while holding back a giggle, "The fire burns, but I can't feel it!"
She slapped my face.
