Sune's Solution (D&D/MGE)

Commissioned by @Dragontrapper
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Ignis snorts. "I say you all just stop being pussies and just jump him."

Brynhild jerks back, her hooves knocking rocks aside as she does so. "We can't simply just jump him, it's not proper!"

Ignis looks down at the horse woman, a sneer on her lips. "Proper? What's not proper about it. Things like this are rarely fair, you think there's any honor involved with this? The only way we're gonna break through is with raw force."

"Boss probably would still manage to fend us off," Fuyao says, letting out a sigh as she bounces the ax in her lap with her knees. "Trust me, I've tried."

Brynhild tilts her head, turning her focus onto Fuyao as she does so. "Have you tried slipping a light poison into his food? That's a mainstay of many fairy tales."

"Oh hell no!" Ignis growls, interrupting before Fuyao can answer. "If we're going to do this he's got to be at full strength or it doesn't count."

Brynhild shudders. "I would not mind my knight being at full strength, but he is too stubborn otherwise."

Ignis rolls her eyes. "We just gotta do it hard and fast enough that he doesn't get a chance to fight back. There's three of us and only one of him."

"I've seen him evade a dozen at once… the nobles back in Silverymoon were too fond of him." Fuyao says, letting out a long, drawn out sigh as she does so.

"What, they good fighters?"

Both Brynhild and Fuyao look at Ignis.

"Ignis, dear. What do you believe we are talking about?" Brynhild asks slowly.

"The best way to defeat him. Duh." Ignis replies, slamming the hilt of her poleaxe into the ground as she does so.

"Are you talking about riding his dick or beating him in a fight?" Fuyao asks, staring up at the barbarian.

"There's a difference?" Ignis asks slowly. "Wait, you guys weren't talking about dueling him?"

Brynhild smiles, slowly, carefully, almost painfully. "Ignis, do I carry a weapon?"

Ignis's eyes dart down to the pristine hooves that Brylhild shined every morning.

"Ignis sweetie, if you are suggesting that I use my pristine hooves for battle you'll find out what it feels like when they are kicked where the sun doesn't shine~" Brynhild says, smiling sweetly.

"Sure, regardless, my plan for you was to serve as the bait. Pretend you got injured or something then we'd get him from behind."

Fuyao shakes her head. "A group of Drow tried something similar a few years back, he ended up converting them all to Eilistraee. Think they started a peace and love commune actually."

"The fucks a Drow?" Ignis asks.

"Dark elves, they live underground."

"Oh my, he fought off dark elves? They are some of the fiercest there are when it comes to getting people." Brynhild asks.

Fuyao droops her head. "Didn't even do that, he just started talking to them and they listened, so no, that plan won't work. You got any other ideas?"

"Dark elves aren't anything to compare to. They use whips and shit instead of proper weapons, I bet if we try it'll work." Ignis says, grinning proudly.

—

It didn't.