Polluted Jianghu: 新年少鹏

Your current life long goal of seeing Remora's guts spilled across the rubble is stymied by Yuexia who has a damnable conscience. "No," she says, "you're not going to do it."

"Do what?" you ask. The knife's wooden handle fits in your hand perfectly. Remora stares at it with vague interest. "You don't know what I want."

"Bro, there's only one thing you can do with a knife."

Remora yawns. "Nah, just let'im. Bet the bitch can't even walk over here without keeling over. It'd be funny as fuck to see."

"You shut up!" she snaps at the fish. "I'm trying to de-escalate here."

"But I don't want to de-escalate. I wanna see if he can do the bitch move of killing someone he didn't even properly beat."

Snap. "That's it!" you roar. "I'm killing that motherfucker!" You rush forward and then you stop. "Yuexia?" She's not budging, holding her left hand to your chest, stopping you from rushing at Remora. Also it feels like your guts are going to leak out.

"Yes?"

"Step aside."

"No."

Remora laughs, an ugly, pained sound. "Do it do it do it do it," he chants. Pressure builds in your skull. "Do it do it do it do it." Right. That's it. You leap forward, stepping past Yuexia, knife flashing like a fang in the sun and then Yuexia steps in front of you, a blur of white. Steel rings on steel, her sword held in a reverse grip knocking the knife to the side. Then your head twists and everything goes black.

---

You wake minutes before you bother to open your eyes. Slowly, awareness returns. Your chest feels restricted, like someone scooped out a pound of flesh and replaced it with dead metal. Your limbs are heavy and you can't move them worth shit. Wait, actually, you can twitch a finger. And you can shake a forearm. Anything more than that is dicy. It's warm under these blankets, a soft fuzzy cloud. It's cold outside and there's a pleasant breeze playing across your skin. Why should you wake?

Okay there's a pretty good reason and that's because someone bandaged you up, carried away from the rubble pit, and you have a big stake in this score, so you have to sadly return to the saha world and figure this shit out.

One, two, three, open those rheumy eyes and face up to the world. You smell incense and antiseptic. You crane your head left. You're in a small room, and Yuexia is sitting in the corner browsing her phone. She doesn't notice you. You crane your head right.

You see Remora grinning at you. In this light you get a good look at his face with that mouth full of ivory filed to jagged rectangles. The bed you're lying on shakes, the springs groaning in protest, blanket tossed into the air. They tied your arms down with belts. The leather holds for a minute then it rips.

"Motherfu-"

You get that far before Yuexia leaps and lands on you, pressing you down like a hawk. You feel she is out of her ambit. You get the bird metaphors. She gets stuff like moonlight, whiteness, and other fairy stuff. "C'mon, dude, just let it go," she sighs. "You're both beat and you have so much in common. Why ya gotta hound him to death with such impertinence?"

It's a sweet literary reference but it doesn't do anything to stop you from trying to crawl off the bed and strangling Remora. The door slams open and Zhi Luolan storms in. Yuexia leaps off, and in that split second you are free. This leads to you twisting off the bed and falling face first into the linoleum and breaking a tile with your nose. The doctor hauls you back into the bed and stabs your ren mai point and the ones on your shoulders. "There," she states. "Am I going to have any more problems?" You lock up. You can't feel anything past your chest. It's like she chopped off your arms.

There's a method for breaking meridian blockage. It's in the breathing. Deep breaths, and then build enough pressure to- Zhi Luolan stabs her fingers into your diaphragm up to her second knuckle and then all you can do is breathe shallowly. Fuck. She stares at you in a vaguely pitying manner, then glances at the floors. "You're paying for that," she points at Yuexia, who nods, embarrassed on your behalf.

The door closes. You hear a snatch of some drama- medical, from the words.

You want to curl up and die. You work your jaw. Nope. It's locked up too. Most you can do is growl a bit and pull up your cheeks, and press your tongue against your teeth. Can't even blink. This is hell. Yuexia silently returns to her seat. Remora stares up at the ceiling with you.

"While you were sleeping," he starts to say. You don't care. "We had a talk, me and her. She let me in on the plan. If you don't mind my opinion, it's a bit of a clusterfuck. Flying a little bit by the seat of your pants. Honestly, I don't mind all that much. It's a fun one, and I did some thinking.

"I want in. Not even for the money, you can have it. I want to be around and say I killed the Kirisaki syndicate. I killed Wang. I killed the Oyabun. So on and so forth."

This is the most embarrassing shit. If you had killed Remora you would have at least won at something. A car comes to a halt. You wonder who it is.

Yuexia finally looks up. "He's better at this than you." Do you detect a measure of disgust in her tone? "We have our next move planned out. Rang up Flay, and she's backing it. No more fucking around with Chu and Han. Tomorrow I'll call Oogami and say we've finally got the guy from Huaran. I'll deliver you to him bound up, right into his castle. Then, we're going to kill our way out."

"I'm handling Kirishima," Remora continues. Feeling slowly returns, first to the jaw, then to the throat. If you wanted to talk, you could talk. "You can trust me on that. Once he's gone the accountant can take over. But you two'll have to finish Oogami's entire organization. Han's been tapped in. He's away on business."

You grunt. They assume it's assent so it's assent. It doesn't concern you. What does concern you, because thinking about anything else is better than this, is that Ouyang Meng and Zhi Luolan seem to have rowdy guests. They're coming up the stairs now. Remora and Yuexia've also noticed them.

The doors bang open. One squat ruddy meatball guy, with a pair of double maces hooked behind his neck. You'd recognize those expensive ass sneakers anywhere. That Dan Surname guy. Behind him, a willowly photogenic woman, with a three section staff over her shoulders, presume this is the Wu Changxi he mentioned. They're a very recognizable duo. You wonder if they do this often. They'd make a name for themselves just from how dang memorable they are.

"You told me that you didn't have anyone in," Dan such and such growls, pointing at you. "Then who're they?" Ouyang Meng appears behind them. They don't look worried. "I swear to god, if they're the yakuza, it's going to be a giant mess."

"Then they're not the yakuza," Ouyang shrugged. "Not your problem."

"Not my problem?" It's a shock to see Dan Whatever's face grow even redder. Bona fide miracle. "I got Old Man Wu up on my ass about this shit. Ouyang and Zhi are suspicious, he says. Why the hell did you let that girl from Oogami-" shit. Yuexia looks panicked for a second but then her expression smooths out. "-and Remora, who I know was hired by an affiliate, into your shop?"

Ouyang shrugs. "Please, Ms. Ouyang," Wu Changxi says, almost bowing, "just make this easy for us. You don't even need to worry about getting a rep for handing patients over easy. It's Wu Manor and Dan Surname pressing on ya. Anyone will give."

Interject…
[1.2] {Wrathful Manifestation} "Actually, I'm working with the Yakuza, too. Come and get me."
[1.2] {Harmonious Society} "It's a bitch move to be beating on the crippled. Looks good on the resume."
[1.1] {Chase the Red Sun} "So this is what the jianghu does with their time. Going around on some old monster's nostalgia trip."
[]- Say Nothing. It's been enough out of you.

"So this is what the noble jianghu does with their time." Your voice is scratchy like it's been stuffed in an attic and forgotten about for years. "Going around on some old monster's nostalgia trip." This is a major hypocrisy and Yuexia looks like she really wants to say something about it but since this is a tactically advantageous hypocrisy that goes unremarked on. Wu Changxi storms forwards. "I mean, there probably has to be more to life than this endless rerunning of Yuexia what's hot on TV right now?"

"Murder the Fifth."

"Fuck's that?"

"Detective drama. Really hot lead."

"Eh, cops." You proceed to lose all interest. Wu Changxi slams her hands on the footrest of your bed. Dan's also let himself into the room, but you're only mildly worried about him, because Ouyang Meng is shadowing him, which really speaks to his poor instincts because there is no earthly way you would let probable assassin Ouyang Meng anywhere near the back of your neck.

"That's my grandfather you're talking about. Watch it."

You carefully consider your next words. "Ok. Your grandfather is an old fucker who has a serious case of the nostalgia. He is possibly senile."

And it's good! "You do know who my grandfather is, right?" Wu Changxi asks. "Do you seriously want to do this?"

You consider this with all the due consideration the patriarch of Wu Manor, that luminary of the martial world deserves. "And I want you to tell him what I said, in my exact words, that he is an old and senile motherfucker." Dan's giggling, just a bit. You can tell by the way he stuffs a fist between his teeth. Wu Changxi is too focused on you. "Actually, why is he only starting this now? I would personally fight the Japanese imperialists twenty four seven. He has had all his life to start shit but he waited how long? Remora gimmie a number."

"Hundred years give or take."

"Hundred years?" The mind boggles. "What was he doing?"

Remora's head is propped up on the elbow. It really reminds you of nothing less than a sleepover. A really psycho sleepover where everyone is ready to throw down and ruin the other guy's life. Maybe that's really just how sleepovers are. You wouldn't know. You never had any sleepovers. "He was over in Taiwan. Entire Wu Manor was. Only snuck back, what, thirty years back? Laaame."

You can move around a bit now. You shuffle your body under the covers. Biggest thing is that Zhi Luolan's blocks are still in. While Wu Changxi's busy putting the muscle on Remora, and Dan No-Name is more focused on her rapidly reddening face then watching you or Yuexia or Ouyang, you take deep, steady breaths. It feels a bit like stretching an invisible ache you have after an entire day in the car. Just…

Pop. Like coming up out of deep water.

There. Back to normal. You're breathing good and the vital breath is circulating once again. Yuexia is out of Dan's sight, while Wu Changxi is busy trying and failing to intimidate Remora. You carefully life a hand out of the sheet and point at Dan while looking at Yuexia who seems to get it. She picks up her scabbard and lays it across her knees.

Three, two, one.

You burst from the bed once again, this time with feeling. The force topples Wu Changxi, the side of the bed hitting her face. Remora leaps off to help you. The space between the two beds becomes a confused tangle of limbs as you lock her into a full nelson after she elbowed you in the teeth. You can taste blood, and she fights you as you drag her upwards. Remora hasn't changed out of his swimsuit. There's still the cut bits from the fight, getting larger as he decks Wu Changxi in the face.

She kicks off from the wall, throwing you into Remora with a sudden and violent dip of the shoulder. He ducks, you hit the wall and see pucehead strangling Yuexia. That was kinda a big ask in hindsight. You leap to her defense, one hand grabbing his bald head and squeezing it, fingernails cutting into the scalp. He lets go with a scream, which distracts Wu Changxi enough for Remora to lock a sleeper hold, which was it for her. Yuexia flops around, gasping for breath.

Then you pushed his head into the wall, which had a layer of steel behind it. The man gurgles something out and then slips against the floor, chunks of plaster and drywall following him on the way down.

"You know you could have helped." You look at Ouyang.

"Not my problem," she shrugs, going into doctor mode and carefully laying Dan out. She supports his head with a towel from a free bedstand, and continues while bandaging the side of his head. "That wall is, though."

It makes a pretty solid sound when you rap it with your knuckles. "Yeah, my bad. I'll get the money tonight."

"Mhm. How's the other kid?" Ouyang stands up and dusts off her hands. You help Yuexia up, still gulping air like it's a ten thousand case of some very expensive and vinegar tasting wine. By the end of it Ouyang has shooed you three into this disused cabinet of a storeroom smelling like dried ginger.

It's barely large enough to fit two, let alone three sitting on squat little folding chairs. "Right." You might as well break the ice. Not like anyone else is gonna. "Guess I should apologize to you for trying to gut you." You tilt your head at Remora and study the ground intently. "It was indeed a bitch move."

He makes a rolling gesture, more interested in how you're debasing yourself than accepting the apology. "In uh, light of that incident, when this is over, you may stab me once. We cool?"

"This is the first time I've had this offer," Remora admits. "Heck to it. We cool."

Well, shit. You make a minor note to make yourself scarce after you get the score. "Alright. So, we're doing this tomorrow. Me and Yuexia does Oogami, you handle Kirishima?" A round of nods. "Okay. What about Kirisaki? You know, Chu and Han offered us first loot rights to his mansion."

"Yeah, he did. I think I passed by it once or twice," Richie Rich said. "Big ol' faux Japan thing in the suburbs. Limos, BMW's, whole thing."

You snap your fingers. "Yeah. Here's the thing. We hit that mansion first and get Kirisaki."

"Get?" Remora leaned in. "What, a fucking kidnapping?"

"Got it in one. Motherfuckers don't like him, but they need him if they wanna keep calling themselves yaks. Cho and Han don't, but the Japanese do. Following me?"

"The essential thing is," you continue, "is those three. Kirisaki, Oogami, and Kirishima. Now, we take out Kirishima and Oogami, we still have the senile motherfucker in charge and whatever backup he has. We get Kirisaki, we can make Kirishima and Oogami walk to us instead of going to them. Following?"

"And your plan is to assault the manor, take Kirisaki alive, hope beyond hope that Kirishima and Oogami walk into a trap you've set up." Remora paused. "Do you normally go this hard or did you get brain damaged?"

You lean back. "Probably the brain damage."

End of Discussion
[]- Game as Planned: You opened your fat mouth enough. Let's just go with what they have out and ace it instead of some fancy bullshit.
[]- Shot at the King: And you're not gonna miss. Bust down Kirisaki's doors and bag him and use him to force Oogami and Kirisaki to make a misstep.