Lost on the Road of Life (An AU Naruto Quest)

The terrain in the western half of Demon Country made for poor civilian travel. The edge of the country was filled with wooded hills, creeks, and had two rivers sandwiched in between. There weren't any roads for land travel into and out of Marsh, and any journey between the two countries was going to be a hell of a hike, unless you were a ninja.

Most ninja, that is.

"Dodge!" Kakashi yelled.

Sugiyama darted to the side quickly, narrowly avoiding a shuriken.

"Dodge!"

The medic sidestepped another shuriken, huffing and puffing.

"When I die," Sugiyama said, in between gasps of air, "I am going to petition all of the denizens of the other paths to enact terrible vengeance upon you. Terrible, soul-shearing vengeance!"

"You seem to have some room to spare in those lungs, so I'm going to be tossing two at a time now."

"What is wrong with yo— ah!"

A pair of shuriken whirred by, missing Sugiyama's nose by an inch.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to say dodge that time. You should hurry up. We're running late, and I wanted to start you on dodging some of my Earth Clones later this afternoon."



"Greetings, and may the heavenly court of stars rule in your favor for the duration of your journey," Sugiyama said. She bowed quickly at the giant of a man in front of them. He had to be about seven feet tall and almost half as wide.. The hulking brute returned the gesture, his giant pack and several lengthy cleavers and axes clinging and clanking from the motion.

"Ya honor me, miss," the giant said, a cheery smile on his heavily scarred face.

Sugiyama gave the giant a totally-real-and-not-false smile at that, before engaging him in more conversation.

Kakashi zoned out for a bit, letting the two exchange some small talk for a bit. Let Sugiyama build a bit of rapport with the guy before asking some questions. This was the third person they'd stopped on the highway to Vegetable, so hopefully this individual had some useful information.

Ah, good, awkward conversational pause. Time to ask questions.

"Say, friend," Kakashi said. "Have you seen anything strange around these parts? Ninja, or weird beasts and the like?"

The man paused, rubbing his salt-and-pepper beard. Kakashi made a mental note to shave the next time he had a solid opportunity.

"Naw, don't think uh heard much o' tha'," the giant quickly said, "but tha' may ha been sommat about some beasties in one o' the villages uh passed trou, twendy miles tha'away dawn tha' eyeway hyuh." The man pointed towards the direction he was coming from on the dirt road. "Fraid uh can't say much bout nah ninja. Dun speak much 'bout nah ninja, ain't good for growing yaself, if yuh catch muh stalks tha'. Uh'm just a humble farmuh yuh see?"

"Ah," Kakashi said, nodding as if he understood any of that beyond "Twenty miles this way". He gave Sugiyama a subtle glance that was to convey something along the lines of "???".

"And what prodigious manner of crop do you farm in this cursed earth that sits under these wholesomely blessed skies, good sir?" Sugiyama asked.

"Eh?" the farmer said. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Whadyuh grow?" Sugiyama asked.

"Ah," the farmer said, nodding in understanding. "Uh grow cah-budges."

"Oh, thankyuh," Sugiyama said.

They exchanged farewells and parted ways.

"So, did you get any of that?" Kakashi asked.

"Mmm." Sugiyama said, voice dropping down to a lower pitch. "Said there might be something down from the way he came. The gentleman—"

Sugiyama was interrupted by a coughing fit. She steadied herself after taking a couple gasping breaths.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi asked.

"Mmm." Sugiyama said, voice sounding scratchy again. "The esteemed gentleman is a cabbage farmer, likely from Vegetable Country. Didn't know anything about ninja, but said there were rumors of strange chakra beasts in a village closer to Hakata. That's the capital city."

"I see."

The two continued walking down the road.






They were in the fifth inn along this trade road, and so it was Kakashi's turn to chat up the innkeeper.

After a few drinks bought and some rather generous tips on Kakashi's part, he figured that it was time to start plumbing the innkeeper for information. The man in question was messing about with the cooking fire behind the inn's only bar shelf.

"So, innkeeper," Kakashi said. "My name is Tanaka Migen. I'm a hunter-nin out in these parts, and I was wondering if you heard anything around these parts about any ninja in the area? I've been searching around for one in particular, but I also need some help with a job or two, that sort of thing, so anything would help."

"Sir, this is an inn," the innkeeper said. The portly man was polishing an empty glass with a rag. He hadn't even looked up to answer Kakashi's question. "We rent rooms out to folk for the night, sell piss cheap drinks, run of the mill cheap drinks, and the occasional bite of food. I don't care how much you pay me, I don't know a damned thing about no ninja."

Well then.






"Well, that's your chakra beasts taken care of." Kakashi said. He rubbed some soot off of his shoulder and walked over to the makeshift triage tents that he and Sugiyama had set up for the sick and wounded villagers.

Fire Dragon Bullet, Kakashi thought, is soon becoming one of my favorite jutsu. Shame that it was just an infestation of overgrown grasshopper wasps, and not a lead on the Mantis Summoner. On the bright side, "Any problem that you can solve with a fireball is better than one you can't".

"I see," the village chief said. The middle-aged man turned to eye the smoking remains of the nearby woods. "Not to question your methods, blessed shinobi, but was it strictly necessary to burn down the entirety of the woods?"

"Venerable elder," Sugiyama said, while in the midst of sewing a young man's bleeding leg shut. "Forgive the harm done, but it is often necessary to cleanse the sites of such infestations of beast and spirit alike in the burning flames of purity."

"Oh, no, no of course not," the village chief said. "Yes, that does sound quite sensible when you put it that way. Thank you for that. We had thought that the ritual dances would be enough to pacify the monsters and get rid of whatever shades were causing the sickness to spread about, but they didn't seem to be working for whatever reason. The ninja clans in the region seem to be preoccupied as well. Good thing that you two came along."

"No trouble," Kakashi said. "Though, we were hoping to ask you some things. You said something about the ninja in the area appearing to be busy?"

"Yes," the chief said, taking off his straw hat and holding it in front of himself. "The blessed shinobi have been unresponsive as of late. As far as I can tell, nobody has been able to get in contact with them, our messages and requests for assistance go unanswered."

That doesn't sound suspicious at all.

"Right," Kakashi said after a couple awkward seconds. "Well, thank you for the information. We'll see to the rest of your sick and wounded before heading out."

"Are you by chance heading to the city? Hold on a moment, I still have some prayer talismans left from my last trip there. Inns and the like are banned in Hakata, you see, so you'll have to exchange these for safe lodging at the local temple if you have nowhere else to go for the night."

"Okay," Kakashi said. "Well, thanks."

No inns? This country is strange.






The sky was clear. The stars were twinkling overhead, and Kakashi was lounging around next to the smoking remains of their campfire. Sugiyama had told him to keep the fire running, "To prevent the hungry ghosts that refuse to depart from this world from finding us and possessing us to use our bodies as their unholy meat-puppets" but he was more than a bit skeptical of that. They were lucky so far that they only encountered one random hunter-nin, and not a squad of them. Or worse, a couple teams of Leaf ANBU on a mission to track him down and subsequently capture and/or kill him.

"Mreow."

Huh? Kakashi turned his head. Was that a cat?

"Mreow!"

Yup, definitely a cat, he thought. He started looking around the campsite. Sure enough, on the side of the hill, there was a small pile of blankets, and what looked to be a cat with a few kittens nestled in them.

Kakashi quickly dispelled. Nothing.

"Huh," Kakashi stepped closer. He eyed the forest warily.

Either these just spontaneously appeared, or someone somehow snuck a pile of kittens in here to use as bait for a trap.

Kakashi slowly took a step backwards...

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi turned around, to see Sugiyama beckoning him over. The woman had an urgent expression painted on her face.

"Get away from it, don't touch it, don't look at it!"

An instant later and he was at her side.

Kakashi looked back from his companion to the cat pile. He had no idea what she was on about ("It"? What was "it"?) but years of experience told him it was probably better to be safe than sorry.

"Fire Element: Flame Pillar." Sugiyama shouted. A small, person-sized column of fire erupted where the team's stack of spare firewood was left. The jutsu and subsequent miniature bonfire lit up their campsite.

"What?" Kakashi asked, incredulous. "Why did you—"

Sugiyama pointed to where the pile of kittens was. "Look."

Kakashi glanced back.

Huh. That's strange, I didn't hear anything.

There was a distinct lack of a pile of kittens. No cat, no kittens, no blanket.

Kakashi dispelled. Nothing changed.

He turned back to face Sugiyama.

"Explain." Kakashi demanded.

"I was serious about telling you to keep the fire going," Sugiyama said. "There are some… strange chakra monsters that inhabit this countryside. They're here, and yet, they're also not here. Usually the ones in the wilds are kept at bay with firelight from a campfire, or with ritual dances. Occasionally, at night, a weary traveller will forget to toss enough wood on the fire for it to last 'til morning."

Kakashi digested this in silence.

"I think it's time we had a conversation." Kakashi said.

"Yes," Sugiyama responded, nodding eagerly. "Do start. Something about you being the Copy Ninja instead of this 'Tanaka Migen' fellow, right?"

Kakashi winced. "Right. That. "

He paused for a second.


No, I don't…

…

"Well?"

Kakashi sighed. "Yes, my name is Hatake Kakashi, also known as the Copy Ninja. I'm a missing-nin from Leaf. At the moment anyway."

"At the moment? What do you mean by that?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I'd rather not get into it right now, if you don't mind. It's a bit messy."

"Hmph. Fair enough. Alright then, what about Snow Country? You were going on about it when that other ninja came to attack us."

Alright, at least that one is more tractable.

"My last mission was up there," Kakashi said, "It was a bit of a shitshow. Managed to destroy a hidden village up there— though it was much less dramatic than it probably sounds. They had a pretty shitty guy leading things up there. Started a civil war that killed half of his village, threw most of the rest to the wolves trying to kill my client and take over the country, sent his subordinates to their deaths to try to kill me and get a magic heirloom, something something vault of secret bloodline stuff, take over the world, blah blah blah. Usual crazy cult leader type that buys into his own bunk."

"Huh," Sugiyama said, dumping some strange powder into a pipe, before lighting it up. "Alright, how'd that end?"

"Eh," Kakashi shrugged. "I killed him, most of their jōnin, all except for the guy's little sister. Probably most of their chūnin as well, now that I think about it. Called in a strike team, and then left. There was one clanless chūnin girl that I had taken hostage as an informant that definitely survived. Not sure where she is now. I offered for her to tag alarm, but she was waffling, so I sent her on her way with a pile of money. I think she was more afraid of saying no, or of continuing on to live, or something like that. She probably would have died by now anyway."

Sugiyama let out a puff of dark green smoke.

"Continuing on to live?" Sugiyama asked. "That's a bit of a strange thing to say. A less astute fortune teller and a poor shinobi would probably ask if you were projecting a bit, but I respect your keen powers of observation."

"I'm not projecting," Kakashi said. "That's just how it looked at the time."

Shit.

Was I?

...

I was totally projecting there, wasn't I?

"Anyway," Kakashi said. "That's enough about me. Are you still on board?"

His companion took a deep draw from whatever the hell was in that pipe.

"Oh, absolutely," Sugiyama said. "The day you came over to recruit me, all of my divination results spelled it out quite clearly. If I didn't accompany you, the world would end. So, here I am."

...

"What?" Kakashi's eyebrows couldn't go any higher. "What are you talking about? I hired you. I could have picked one of two other people."

"But," Sugiyama said, punctuating the word with a sharp stab of the pipe, "you did not, did you? 'Twas fated by the decisions of the dead kami, and all of —"

Sugiyama broke off in a coughing fit.

Wow, she is crazy.

"Wow," Kakashi said. "You're nuts."

She laughed at that.

"Well, if you think I'm crazy, you should see the rest of our destined companions," Sugiyama said. "They make me look rightly sane."

"...right."

They both stared off into the fire for a few minutes.

"So," Kakashi said, "in all honesty, I don't care to pry much about your past. That's your business. But, if you have anything that's going to come back to bite us in the ass, or if there's anything weird like the cat thing that just happened, it would be good to know about in advance."

"That's fair."

I should probably ask about the thing, Kakashi thought.

"One more thing," Kakashi said. "It's a bit of an awkward question, but I'm going to ask it anyway."

Her eyes brightened.

"I would be ever so delighted to read your fortune!"

Uh.

Kakashi scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"It's uh," Kakashi stammered. "Ah, alright, I'm just going to come out and say it. Are you... ah..."

Kakashi trailed off, awkwardly. Sugiyama's expression flatlined into one of perfect neutrality.

He felt his face beginning to heat up and probably turn beet-red.

Wait.

'You have a penchant for putting your foot in your mouth sometimes, brat, and in the worst way. I won't be having people go around saying that someone who learned medical ninjutsu from Senju Tsunade had shit bedside manner. You have to actually be good at being a doctor to get away with that, and you fucking suck. If your people skills are going to go to shit at the first sign of a sensitive issue, you might as well try to collapse in a way that helps fix the fucking problem. '

"Wait no," Kakashi said. He raised his hands in what he hoped was a vaguely placating and simultaneously reassuring gesture. "I don't mean this in a weird way. I'm not doing a good job here."

Kakashi took a deep breath.

"Alright," Kakashi said. "So, uh, I'm mostly asking to avoid making an ass out of myself in the future. I think it might be best to just let you explain your own preferences and ... that sort of thing. If you want to?"

Sugiyama exhaled, breathing out a massive cloud of purple smoke this time.

"Ah, that's much easier," Sugiyama said. "So it's actually quite simple. I prefer to be referred to by 'they' instead of 'she' or 'he'. Likewise 'them' instead of 'him' or 'her'. Ditto for 'their' and the possessives. No 'man' or 'woman' or any gendered terms at all."

"Okay," Kakashi nodded. "That's fine. I'll try my best to do that."

"Eh. It doesn't bother me overly much," Sugiyama said. "My personal view on that sort of thing is that I don't really care for the fleshier aspects of the question. At the moment, I view myself as a timeless blob of chakra and soul that continuously reincarnates and happens to have one particular body or another and one particular identity or another at any given lifetime. I'm not really attached to the pile of meat that I'm stuck in in this one. That's all there is for me to say about that for now, I think. You don't particularly need to know or care why. Is that fine?"

Kakashi nodded. "Alright. I'm entirely fine with that. I think."

More silence.

"You know," Sugiyama said, "in all honesty, I was a bit concerned there that you were going to ask something perverted there. You do read all of those ridiculous books."

"What?" Kakashi asked. Now he was definitely confused. "I only read them for the plot!"

Sugiyama peered at him. He could see the barest slivers of h— their eyes. They observed his expression for a moment before their expression turned to one of… increduility?

"You're serious?" Sugiyama said. They blinked rapidly at him.

"Yes," Kakashi said. "Look, the plot is great, and there are only about two sex scenes per book! Maximum. It's a mystery to me why everyone acts as if they completely overshadow the rest of the excellently written stories. Most of the lewd stuff is entirely character driven anyway!

"Besides, Lord Jiraiya releases about one point six entries in the series per year on average—not counting special editions and the anniversary shorts collections— which is great if you're a fast reader like me that likes to keep busy."

"Huh," Sugiyama said.

Kakashi spent the rest of the evening listening to a couple hours-long explanation of why Demon Country was the most haunted place in the world and why they were insane to be inside of its borders.






Hakata wasn't his favorite place. The capital of Demon Country was a sprawling city that was built in the middle of one of the many series of hills that encompassed much of the country's northern landscape. The soil was an earthy red that interspersed with a mess of gravel and dirt, the hills surrounding the city were sparsely vegetated besides some grass, dry weeds, a few shrubs, and the occasional tree, and the buildings and walls in the city itself were made out of clay bricks, or jutsu-cast stone (the walls were thirty feet high and made of a dark red granite, nothing else could be so smooth at such a scale) that was probably brought up from the hillside's interior.

All in all, it was eerily similar to the Land of Earth as far as Kakashi could tell, and that brought back some bad memories. Even though his store of new Icha Icha novels was now "None", he luckily had some other reading material to distract himself with on their walk through the market district.

"So, what are we looking for, again?" Kakashi asked. He flipped through the pages of the small notebook he'd been carrying around in lieu of Jiraiya's latest. Carrying a book around had become something of a habit for him years ago, and it served a decent secondary purpose as an excuse to take random glances around in between reading. Looking idly distracted or preoccupied with something was useful for a ninja in an urban environment for exactly this reason. Plus, he hadn't had a chance to look at Granny Mitsui's oatmeal cookie recipe yet. He had to struggle to make out some of the words.

"Hatake."

Her handwriting always was closer to hieroglyphics…

…

…


"Oi, are you paying attention?" Sugiyama said. They were snapping their fingers in front of his face, their normally half-lidded eyelids widened with concern —to something approximating the average person's gaze, at least if the average person had severely bloodshot eyes all of the time. "Did you eat those dried mushrooms I had in my bag? I wasn't joking about those, you should tell me right away if you did."

"No. No, I didn't eat anything from your bags," Kakashi said. He shook his head. "Sorry, lost in thought. Anyway, what were you saying?"

Sugiyama peered at him for another moment before their eyes narrowed and the Demon ninja returned to their default state of looking perpetually half-asleep or half high as a kite. Sugiyama gestured at the rows of shops, taverns, and market stalls.

"I'm not quite sure, not exactly," Sugiyama said. "Look for a place that has a butterfly displayed somewhere on the storefront. Or a moth. It could be a visible emblem on the store, or it could be a knicknack being displayed inside a front window, or something carved into a wooden plank somewhere."

"Alright. This is to contact someone that can help get us some information?" Kakashi asked.

"Why, yes," Sugiyama said. "Underground types, should still have a place here somewhere, unless they've moved on. Not the chivalrous organization, though."

"Mysterious," Kakashi said.

The duo continued walking through the market, scanning all manner of establishments.

"Ah, look yonder!" Sugiyama said, pointing to a tented stall whose shelves were filled with clay pots, jars, and bins. Sugiyama quickly approached the merchant, while Kakashi slowly brought up the rear. The merchant had a sunburnt complexion, and was wearing a brown cloak. The stall smelled awful, like a pile of rotting lilly pups had died here and birthed some sort of fungal monstrosity out of their corpses.

Kakashi frowned. He hadn't seen any butterflies.

"Good day! What can I help you two travelers with?" the ruddy-faced man asked.

"Fair herbalist, I request your strangest wares." Sugiyama said. "And please, only the strongest herbs will suffice."

The man seemed taken aback.

"Um," the merchant said. "I'm not sure that my strongest would be fitting, traveler, you see —"

Kakashi ignored the man and tapped Sugiyama gently on the shoulder. They turned their head back to look at him.

"I didn't notice anything enticing about this stall. Did you?" Kakashi asked.

"Ah," Sugiyama said, raising an index finger pointedly. They turned to face him directly, pipes and jars and various other items in their pack clinking from the motion. "One of the old proverbs of the roads: if you by chance meet an herbalist on the road, then be certain to greet them with a smile and sample their various wares! Now, it would be remiss of my to invite misfortune and negative karma upon our party by —"

"Alright," Kakashi said. "I'll be over by that food stand when you're done talking to the herbalist."

Kakashi sighed and walked away from the tent. He stopped next to a food shop to read, but the chef greeted him anyway.

"Hello, sir! Welcome to the Butter Fry! We specialize in frying all manner of delicious sweet and savory dishes, in your choice of animal butter out of our selection! Would you like to order something?"

"Huh," Kakashi said. "I would, actually. Let me look at your menu board for a bit, while I wait for my friend to get here."

"Of course sir! Take your time," the chef said. Fat from a number of different assortment of meats sizzled and sputtered on large copper pans in the kitchen behind him. It smelled heavenly.

Hmmm. The password is probably a combination of menu items, or a food that isn't on it at all...






A secret password or two and a few minutes worth of waiting found the two of them on a trip through the shop's backroom to the basement.

"One question," Kakashi said. "How did you know that the password was to order 'Fried Shrooms' and 'Swordfish' in that particular order? Swordfish I get, since obviously that's an Icha Icha: The Kunoichi Who Loved Me reference, but I have no clue how you guessed the first one."

"Ah," Sugiyama said. "A simple matter. I divined the answer from my porridge this morning. You should take care to examine your morning cereals before consuming them. For multiple reasons."

Kakashi looked at them. "Okay, but really, how did you do it?"

"The mushrooms they had were a type basically inedible. They'll cause food poisoning. Totally a sham option in that case."

"I see," Kakashi said. He mentally added "Is really good with plants and fungi" to the imaginary bingo book entry he had of Sugiyama.

The two went down a set of stairs and a rickety old metal door and walked through a nondescript open door into a room that had a pile of crates lining the walls, as well as a cheap round table. The other end of the table had a man seated at it.

The man looked to be about forty. He was wearing a plain black shirt, a gray trench coat, and a small hat that seemed to be woven out of reeds. The hat was covered with gray fabric and had some yellow spots dyed into it.

The man was holding a cigarette over a large ashtray. A dishevelled pile of books and folded paper folders were strewn about in front of him, as were several scrolls and various plates of mostly-eaten food.

"Welcome," the man said. He gazed at the two of them for a moment, smoke floating lazily out of the end of his cigarette. "You can call me Tsuru. What can the Butterfly Brotherhood do for you today?"

Kakashi blinked at the name. He looked over at Sugiyama. They returned the glance, before looking over at 'Tsuru', and then back at Kakashi. Sugiyama gestured at him to take the lead.

"Greetings," Kakashi said. "My name is Tanaka Migen, a hunter-nin that's —"

"I know damn well who you really are," Tsuru said. He put his cigarette back in his mouth with one hand before rifling into the small set of wooden drawers underneath the table that served as a makeshift desk.

Kakashi willed himself to stay still and not immediately kick the guy's ass for putting his hands somewhere that Kakashi couldn't see.

After about ten seconds of pulling out various piles of papers the man opened a red folder, and pulled out a piece of paper with some crude artwork stenciled onto it. "Hatake Kakashi. MIA as of about six months ago. Thirty million Leaf ryou taken alive, relatively unharmed. Finder's fee for information leading to the capture of, etcetera."

Kakashi tensed, hands flexing.

There aren't many escape routes here. Instead of running back up the stairs, I should just jump right through the floor. If I—

"Of course," Tsuru said, "that's none of my fucking business. Cool your jets, relocating is a pain, and I actually like the place upstairs." The man puffed out some more smoke. "And having my guts on the inside of me," he added. "Though, if you do end up sending me off the mortal coil, you'll find I took out several insurance policies, just like that Snow Yakuza guy you offed and his protection contract with Darui and his gang in Cloud. That herb merchant out there is long gone by now with your descriptions. You know, word of advice, there's only like half a dozen ninja missing their left eye, and maybe one or two with a similar height and build to yours. That disguise isn't going to be doing much for you unless you put some more elbow grease into it or figure something else out.

"So, how did you manage to find me? Last I recall, you're not exactly on my mailing list of penpals."

Kakashi relaxed a tiny bit, and filed away that bit of information about the Lightning ninja for later. He spent a few seconds internally debating whether they should be getting the hell out of there now, or stick around to see if this guy would be able to help them out.

Eh. Whatever, the guy doesn't seem like too much of a prick.

Kakashi pointed a thumb at Sugiyama.

"My companion here actually—"

Sugiyama stepped forward.

"We listened to the cries from the mouths of a grasshopper caught in a sparrow's beak, echoing faintly off the morning dew drops in the tongue that resembled the voice of all things."

Kakashi looked at Sugiyama.

Kakashi looked at Tsuru.

Tsuru was looking back at Sugiyama with a long-suffering expression, his lips parted, his eyelids half-closed. The man took his cigarette out of his mouth, tapping the end out over an ashtray. His jaw clamped itself shut and he closed his eyes, before letting out a weary sigh. He opened his eyes and met Kakashi's gaze.

"So," Tsuru said. "That one's definitely from around here then, I take it?"

"Yup." Kakashi said. He drummed his fingers idly against his biceps.

"My apologies." Tsuru said.

Kakashi shrugged.

The man looked off to the side for a bit, clearly mulling something over. Kakashi gave him a couple minutes. Eventually the man nodded to himself and turned back to him.

"Yeah, I think I might be able to help you out with that." Tsuru said. He reached into a drawer on his desk and pulled out a small scroll and some writing materials. He started jotting something down. "Hakubi Kagato, the Mantis Summoner? He usually hangs with one of the local clans up in the eastern half of the country, when he's not buzzing around the continent doing Sage knows what. I've got some assets in the area that are trying to figure out what's got all the local ninja so spooked. They've all gone to ground or something, totally incommunicado."

Tsuru finished writing and passed the scroll across his desk.

"The folks on here are a pile of jackasses that think they can do whatever the hell they want," Tsuru said. "Complex explanations aside, they've been causing a lot of problems in town, and some of those problems have been messing with my work, and I can't be having that. I'll get you what intel I receive about whatever's going on with the ninja in this country, and the whereabouts of your summoner target, after you knock some of these heads around for me."

Kakashi took the scroll, considering it.

"Mmm," Kakashi said, "and you're sure you'll be able to get me some meaningful info about the summoner?"

Tsuru grunted in affirmation. "Yeah. He's a VIP and a frequent traveler around here, one of a half-dozen ninja my people are specifically looking out for."

"Well, I'll take this and get back to you on that, then," Kakashi said. He pointed at the folder of bounty notices on the side of the man's desk. "Oh, mind if I snag those as well?"

"Sure." Tsuru said, sliding the folder over as well.

Kakashi pocketed the scroll and the folder before glancing around the room.

And he noticed something on the side table that made his hair stand on end.

!!!

"How much for the book?" Kakashi asked, gesturing casually at the copy of Icha Icha: Secret of the Forest Nymphs that Tsuru had on the side of his desk.

"Not for sale," Tsuru said. The man shook his head, lips twisting up in a small smile. "I haven't finished it yet, and it's my only copy."

Damn.

"Shame," Kakashi said, shaking his head. "I couldn't find a copy anywhere myself."

"Heh," Tsuru said. "Well, in that case, I'll see what I can do on that front as well. Maybe if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I have a pile of busy work that needs doing as well. Could be if you get that done, I could be persuaded to lend you my copy. Should be done with it in a day or so."

Tsuru's grin disappeared.

"But whatever you do, don't stay out past dark for too long. Shit gets weird and dangerous in this city at night. I didn't used to believe in ghosts and demons and all that crap, but then I moved here."

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully. He turned back to Tsuru, who was a… spymaster? The agent of one, at the very least.

That kind of person could be useful to have access to, if they had the right connections…

"I'll think about it," Kakashi said. "So, you said you had some seals I could buy?"

The man grinned.

"Boy, do I."

---

AN:

"Lost on the Road of Life"? More liek "Lost on the Road of Editing Passes."! Nevertheless, while I'm not quite comfortable with the current state of this chapter, out the door it must go!

Sugiyama is an interesting character. I'm interested in seeing where things end up going with them.

Kakashi as always is Kakashi. Stressed, traumatized, and desperately jonesing for a coping mechanism and ways to keep busy.

Kakashi get's 1 FP from the Compel that was accepted by him in character, and another 1 FP from the players for giving him the assist on figuring out that Sugiyama is non-binary (like me! Though in an entirely different sort of way.).

Speaking of FP:

Compel on I Read for the Plot

Accept the compel, and Kakashi will do some of the misc. stuff that Tsuru could use some help with plus you'll get a fate point. Reject it, and he won't, but you'll get nothing! Nothing, I say!
Please vote for one of the following:
[] Accept Compel (+1 FP)
[] Reject Compel (+0 FP)


Kakashi has a list of the following people to rough up/punch in the face/assassinate along with some mysterious notes to leave next to the groaning targets/unconscious bodies/rotting corpses left behind.

- Shima Kiyoshi, city guard captain.
— "Dereliction of duty."
- Ushijima Bairei, head of the local laborer guild union.
— "Interest repaid."
- Takishima Tsuneari, local street gang leader.
— "Perils of leadership."
- Fukunaga Murakumo, junior monk at the temple.
— "Karma."

Kakashi has also acquired a pile of miscellaneous bounties, which will be sorted through in an infopost later, as well as some smoke bombs, a handful of seals that release a very flammable napalm-like jelly, and a thick stack of seals that apparently store breathable air for use later. There were some others, but Kakashi didn't really deem them useful.

Kakashi's Mild consequence has healed up.

Sugiyama's given you an offscreen tl;dr along the lines of "This city is super duper haunted and dangerous after dark, because ghosts/demons/everything horrible/honey badgers." While Kakashi is somewhat skeptical about some of the specifics, he's willing to listen to the gist of the warnings and try to limit his time outside at night in this city, unless you vote for him to ignore them.



Voting time, what do you do now? Here are some options to start you off:

[] You don't have time to spend days in one location being someone's errand boy without just cause, no matter how well connected and mysterious they are. Quickly do this job for the guy and get the intel he promised you.
[] Work your way down the entirety of the list, doling out vigilante justice as you deem necessary, but as stealthily as possible. A ninja you are.
[] "Chidori! Chidori! Chidori! Chidori!"
[] Go out with Sugiyama and thoroughly investigate everyone on this list, and try to assess the potential knock on effects. You don't quite trust mysterious men with strange connections that ask you to kick ass in exchange for favors.
[] Ignore the list of people for now. Go hang out on a rooftop somewhere and brood for a while. There is a distinct deficiency of solitary brooding in your life.
[] (Write-in)

Remember, we use approval voting, so you can vote for as many plans as you like. Also, feel free to ping @Paperclipped or @MMKII to ask setting or detail questions that Kakashi could plausibly know. Note: This includes specific questions for Sugiyama about Demon (though we might not get to it until the update)

Voting will close Saturday, February 27th at 9am PST.