Lost on the Road of Life (An AU Naruto Quest)

Kakashi stepped through the creaking heavy door of the Yakuza's hideout and dusted off his jacket as the thug hastily closed the door behind him. Within, he could hear the sound of a blazing fireplace keeping the half-underground bunker warm, a warm and familiar crackling that reminded him of Sensei's home in Leaf, where he and his team would gather around the fireplace and eat Sensei's delicately made snacks while Aunt Kushina told tale after tall tale…

Underneath the sound of the fireplace, quiet footsteps were moving through the room as the Yakuza leader and his missing-nin compatriots moved into place to receive him. Kakashi didn't think they'd try to attack him at this juncture. They were cautious people, living in fear of the Snow Oyabun finally deciding to commit the resources to wiping them out. In fact, now that Kakashi thought about it, the main reason they were still around might have been the civil war in Glacier. Without the ability to hire Glacier ninja to solve his problems, the Snow Oyabun might not have had the resources to confidently remove the Frost invaders.

The thug was looking anxiously at him, having gestured at the door a minute ago. Kakashi nodded back at him and stepped through, seeing the leadership trio waiting to greet him, the civilian sitting down and the two missing-nin flanking the fireplace. He crossed the room and settled down into the chair opposite the leader. When he reached into his shuriken pouch, the two ninja tensed, but they relaxed as he pulled out a handful of walnuts and started popping them down the front of his mask.

"So, Hatake, what brings you back to our organization? Would you like to retrieve the valuables you left with us?" said Ryūzaki.

Kakashi waited a moment before answering. "No, I think he is fine with you for now. You've been dripping water into his gag like I said?" he waited for a nod, "then he'll keep a while longer. No, I come to you with a proposition.

"You're weak, Ryūzaki." The man frowned slightly at the accusation, and his expression briefly revealed an inner anger before he hid it under his surprise. "You're what, a minor lieutenant from the Frost Yakuza, chosen to champion a long-shot idea to take fruit from the barren fields of Snow? Whatever plan your Oyabun has you working under, it's high risk, high reward, but you aren't playing it right. You're playing like you've already captured your opponent's generals, and you're waiting for them to blunder into defeat."

Kakashi gestured around the room, "You've got what, maybe ten people between your enforcers and cons? Maybe closer to eight, if my guesses about the size of your territory are right. That's not a way to own a city. And you don't strike at Goda Jin -- why? You've got ninja. Maybe he has some on permanent retainer too, but if you wait, he'll only hire more from Glacier as they stabilize. You're trying to win on time, but you're going to be the one that's behind when the clock runs out."

"I see," said Ryūzaki, nodding in agreement. "While I assure you that we have thought about our strategy, it appears that you have a proposal which is superior. We would hear it, and perhaps we could work it into a… feasible line of action."

Kakashi fake-laughed, and said, "No action for you of course, I wouldn't want to harm your precious manpower. No, the task is easy enough. I meet with Goda Jin and kill him, scaring off any ninja he might have in his employ. I know," he let his lips draw apart in a wicked smile under his mask, "there are no Glacier ninja in the town right now, so he only has missing-nin, people whose loyalties are to their lives and their wallets than to a petty crime lord." Watari and Yaganita looked at each other for a moment before turning back to him, blank-faced.

"I don't mean you. I mean enforcer types who kill who they're told to, not, not full partners who are invested in the success of the operation. Regardless of their level of loyalty, once they see the Copy Ninja, they're not going to want to push the fight. They'll run, leaving the Snow Yakuza headless. From there, all you have to do is subjugate the other lieutenants or kill them and make the street-level members understand that you're in charge."

Ryūzaki turned to look into the fireplace as Kakashi ended his proposal. After a moment, he spoke. "This… would accelerate our plans quite quickly. Everything has a price. What's yours?"

"First, the honorable Watari and Yaganita will have to demonstrate their techniques to me. All of them. Second, you'll have to help me arrange a trap against the Hidden Glacier ninja when they come looking for their missing compatriots. This is in your favor, of course, since they aim to acquire much more direct control over the country anyway, and won't take organized crime lightly."

Ryūzaki considered for a moment before responding. "If it is as you say, then we would do better to lay low, and let the Snow Yakuza draw Glacier's attention."

Kakashi shrugged. "Let's just say that if you hold out long enough, they won't be a problem for you eventually. And if you're worried about me reneging, don't be. I'll do the mission first. We can settle any debts afterwards. I always settle mine."

To his credit, Ryūzaki held his gaze the entire time. "So be it. If you're so confident you can worm your way through Goda's defenses and kill him without repercussion, then we'll gladly work with you on your plans. I warn you, he's more wily than meets the eye." He gestured to the side, where his assistant stood. "Taiga, bring in all the information we've collected about Goda Jin's headquarters. We will give our friend Hatake here everything we have, to ensure his success in the mission.


The giant wandering pile of furs that was Mr. Tominaga hurried up to the door of the jeweler's building. He looked around both ways, then knocked on the door.

"Hello there, is Goda Jin in? I need to speak with you!" he yelled through the visible "CLOSED" sign on the door. He saw a couple of civilians looking his way. After a moment, the door opened and a skinny young man with a ratlike face tried to grab him by the hand and pull him in. Kakashi stumbled through the door frame, nearly bowling the man over as the door was shut quickly behind him. He fell to the floor as the man managed to stay upright.

"What was that?" he hissed, "The Oyabun is laying low while the Daimyo's special ninja escort is in town. Who are you, and why don't you know how to keep your mouth shut?"

Kakashi held his hands up, laughing nervously. "Oh, I'm sorry sir, I wasn't aware of what's happening in your, ah, lovely little city here. I'm just a merchant who is passing through Shibetsu for business, and I had a, ah, lovely proposition for your Oyabun."

"He won't be willing to work with you with the level of discretion you've shown here." The man had a contemptuous look on his face. He clearly enjoyed lording what little power he had over newcomers.

Kakashi laughed nervously again, "now now, friend-"

"Umeki."

"Now now, Mr. Umazi, I'm sure we can work something out. I spent some time in Kushiro with a certain Mr. Tanaka, who runs a rather fun gambling operation there. He offered me this," Kakashi reached into his furs and pulled out a letter sealed with the wax twin-mountain logo of the Snow Yakuza. "There you go. He and I talked business for a bit, and he suggested that I should get in contact with your Oyabun to see if we could find, ah, something a little profitable for both of us when I go back to the Land of Fire in the spring, or back to Wind by summer. I also have some, ah, exotic spices, that I think you might be interested in selling"

The man scrutinized him for a moment, puffing out his chest slightly as if to seem intimidating, then nodded. "I'll take it to him, and we'll see if he decides that you're worth his time." He thrust his hand out expectantly.

Kakashi handed the note over and slowly got to his feet, dusting the snow off of his back and rear. After a moment, he made a show of looking around for the pompous thug, and followed after his retreating footsteps.

Soon, Kakashi took a seat in a surprisingly nice waiting room. A vase with elaborately arranged red and purple flowers sat on a small table off to the side, and one of the walls was completely covered in a tapestry that seemed to depict a young woman, clutching a child to her chest as she climbed a mountain while two great serpents swam in a spiral overhead. Kakashi absently wondered if the Yakuza had commissioned the piece or stole it. Probably the latter, since there wasn't too much money to be spent on frivolities up here. For a piece this size, it has probably been stolen from one of the Daimyo. No wonder they weren't able to find any buyers.

The ratlike man opened the door again and called in, "the Oyabun thinks you're worth his time. Up, and make yourself presentable, Tominaga"

Kakashi pulled himself to his feet. "Oh, I'm quite cold, I don't think-"

"Fine, your loss. Piss him off and you won't get your deal. Worse and we'll be snapping your neck before long."

Kakashi followed after him, close on his heels, and his tour guide led him up the set of stairs to a thick wooden office door. As they approached it, Kakashi asked, "Oh by the way, how much does Mr. Goda pay you?"

He scowled. "That's none of your business, and I can't be bought like that." The scrawny man stepped between the two burly men flanking the door to knock on it. After a moment, a voice within called him to enter. "Now, Tominaga, make sure you're on your best behavior. The Oyabun has had to deal with some complicated situations in the past couple of days, and I'm sure he won't have much patience for antics."

With that, he opened the door, and gestured Kakashi in. Kakashi walked through, and stood in front of Goda Jin.

The infamously ruthless Oyabun of the Land of Snow leaned forwards in his chair as he spoke. "Welcome, Mr. Tominaga, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Please, take a seat."

Kakashi stepped forwards, around the chair to look at Goda Jin from across his small, minimalist desk. He said nothing.

Goda's eyes darted around Kakashi's disguise, and his eyes widened in surprise. He started to exclaim "you're-"

In a burst of motion, Kakashi shrugged off the heavy furs and thrust a spearhand strike through the man's mouth and out the back of his head, cleaving through his brainstem. He spotted sudden movement on the roof outside as Goda's guard started to flee, and he turned to see his escort with the door half-open, mouth agape.

"Well, if you need a new employer, look for someone named Ryūzaki. I hear he should be hiring soon, given the time of year," Kakashi pulled his hand out of Goda's head, letting the man's face thump forwards onto the desk, "and there are new opportunities that will soon be opening up in this town."

With that, Kakashi dispelled himself.



Kakashi didn't move as the clone's memories streamed in. Everything went off without a hitch over at the Yakuza hideout, but now Goda's crony would be coming directly for the Daimyo, intending to foil his mission in some strange tit-for-tat. Goda had clearly hired someone quite skilled given that Kakashi's scouting hadn't noticed them, but they hadn't been fast enough to stop Kakashi from killing the Oyabun.

This could get bad, Kakashi thought as he moved a hair closer to Daimyo Kazahana, who was nodding along pleasantly as fire-spinners threw torches in the air to the rhythm of pounding drums in the town square. The ninja overseeing Goda had clearly been well-trained, as they started moving an instant after seeing their employer die, recognizing him and moving to take action rather than sticking around in confusion or retaliating senselessly when Goda was already dead. That level of instant evaluation and action meant that Goda hadn't just been keeping a homegrown genin around. He needed Kazahana to stay alive for now, if only to cover for him for the eight weeks of unpursued time that Hiruzen had blessedly given him.

Kakashi kept his head on a swivel, watching the rooftops and alleyways for assailants while preparing to Substitute with the Daimyo on a moment's notice, all while the fire-spinners continued their admittedly mediocre act . While he didn't expect a Fire Release-specialist level of performance, even the civilian street entertainers in Leaf were better than these mediocre performers.

He just barely managed to spot a hint of movement near the upper edge of an alleyway, as a ninja crawling along the walls above head height poked her head out for a moment to spot the plaza. Kakashi tensed, expecting a thrown weapon, but a moment later, she jumped onto the roof of the building, a pair of watery claws rippling around either fist, and started running away.

He relaxed an inch. No fight. She must have been surprised to see him there already, perhaps not realizing that it had been a clone that had killed her employer. That, or she had been relying on the element of surprise. Either way, she didn't want to pick a fight, and now was making a hasty exit at a speed comparable to his own.

Hmm, concerning that Goda Jin had the assets to keep such a skilled missing-nin on retainer, when she clearly had no personal loyalty. Killing him hastily might be inviting retaliation, Kakashi mused as the evening wore on. Oh well, that's more techniques for me.


Ryūzaki steepled his fingers. "Well, Hatake, you've done well. The Snow Yakuza are in shambles, and Watari is busy sweeping them up into our clutches. If, as you suspect, retaliation from Glacier is imminent, then we would be glad to support you in whatever trap you wanted to set."

Kakashi nodded, and leaned back. "Though that's not the full deal, is it Ryūzaki? Or, should I be addressing you now, Yaganita?"

Yaganita eyed him back. "I don't think you'll be getting much use out of my techniques, ninja of the Leaf."

"Is that hesitancy I sense?" Kakashi put down his walnuts and tensed, preparing to stand. "Perhaps you should have mentioned this when we were striking the deal then."

Yaganita barked a rough laugh, then raised his hands with splayed fingers. "I mean no offense. I only have the Earth and Mud Release, however, and I understand the Sharingan does little to change your elemental affinity."

"The Sharingan has a number of capabilities, more than you could hope to understand. Show me all that you have, and don't worry about how I'm going to use it."

Yaganita smiled back. "No affordances for an ace in my back pocket?"

Kakashi turned back to Ryūzaki, who seemed to pale slightly, before looking to Yaganita. The ninja's smile slipped off his face and turned sour. "Fine. Follow me, let's do this sooner than later."

---

Another day has passed. The Daimyo is grateful that you've foiled the plot on his life and concerned that you've traced it back to his brother. He will interrogate his brother once the festival is done, but seems torn between giving him the benefit of the doubt, or taking the attack seriously and executing him.He does not know about the heirloom or Glacier's plot to acquire it. However, he does not seem very worried about the remaining duration of the festival.

The Snow Yakuza is being folded into Frost's operations. Kakashi expects a little bit of turf war as some old lieutenants get uppity, but with the ninja advantage, Frost should win. They've agreed to help you set whatever ambush you prefer, though Kakashi thinks they won't stick around if the plan is awful or the opposition is particularly strong, and things go south. Searching the city briefly has shown no sign of the Oyabun's hired ninja.

The Frost ninja have shown you their techniques. Watari knew a number of Fire Release techniques:

• Generic Fireball (Level 40, Effect 5)
• … (tbd, please offer suggestions!)

Yaganita knew a number of Mud Release techniques which the Sharingan dutifully copied but Kakashi cannot cast. He also knew Hiding Like a Mole (Level 20, Effect: 3) and a new Earth Release technique called Earth's Thunder (Level 1, Effect: 1), which he says is much less useful when you're not in the mountains. It shakes the ground near you, possibly causing rockfalls, upsetting people's footing, or even destroying buildings if it gets strong enough.

Voting Time! What do you do now?
Here are some options to get you started.
[] Set up a trap at the dead drop location where Rōga expects to get information from Kazahana Dotō.
[] Construct a scenario where Nadare Shigeru thinks he's been set free and follow him back to the Hidden Village.
[] Raid the Snow Yakuza's storehouses around the city for cash, and finance the rebuilding of the Woolly Yak.
[] Kill Watari and Yaganita, tell Ryūzaki that you're in charge now. Start making arrangements to overthrow the Snow Yakuza in Kushiro.
[] Hunt down anyone who has spoken with Glacier ninja in the past, or knows someone who has seen it or been there to try to determine its location by cross-examination.
[] Write-in.

Remember, we use approval voting, so you can vote for as many plans as you like. Also, feel free to ping @Paperclipped or @MMKII to ask setting or detail questions that Kakashi could plausibly know.

Voting is open, and closes at 9am London Time, Wednesday January 13.