Tengu Reporter Quest (Touhou) (World 7 - Wheel of Time)

Try to interview the Czar Dragon.


You study the island more closely. There are a few damaged pillars standing without any particular relation to each other that you can tell, but there's nothing of real interest down there that you can see. Even the little balls of fire aren't too exciting. "You're sure there's a dragon down there?" Hinopio rolls his eyes.

"Yes, I'm absolutely certain. What do you want, a sign pointing you at him?" You chuckle and shake your head. Hatate catches your eye and shakes her head. You smile and nod, and Hatate deflates. Hinopio looks aback and forth between the two of you. "... I'm missing something, aren't I?" You pat his mushroom-like head (hat? Growth?) and walk to the edge of the rocky outcropping. It's certainly quite warm, but not unbearable. There must be something about this place that lets you be this … not uncomfortable. Well, that's for someone who specializes in that sort of thing. You bound forward, wings spread dramatically as you glide toward the island. Of course, you land without a fuss, apart from some concerned yelling from Hinopio. As if you want to fight a dragon! Ha!

"Hello~? Mr. Czar Dragon? Would you mind answering some questions?" The Pyrospheres ignore you as you call out to the dragon. It's not until you approach one of them that they start to react. The ones that are already active cluster together defensively. Then more of the things rise from the lava surrounding the island, swirling around you as they join their fellows. Over a dozen swarm alongside the handful that were already active, and as they tumble around each other, they start to glow brightly. Then they start to melt against each other, combining into a shape that is … vaguely, almost dragon-like? Maybe?

The form is ugly, lumpy and misshapen, and doesn't appear altogether complete. His legs are missing entirely, the stumps being merely mostly-solidified Pysospheres. His eyes are asymmetrically sized, and its wings are dumpy little things. To be perfectly blunt, you've seen better dragons in children's drawings. Of course, judging something by its appearance isn't the wisest decision that could be made – why, some people do that exact same thing to you! Instead, you smile at the dragon and his triple horns that vaguely resemble a crown. He looks at you, attention seeming to wander as he tilts his head first to one side, then to the other. Then he rears his head back before flinging it forward. In time with its movements, a wave of lava surges over the island, and you hop into the air.

"You crazy lady, you've killed us all! What do you think you're doing?" You tune out Hinopio's deranged ranting – you've certainly been called worse, after all, and you and Hatate are very unlikely to die to this dragon – and smile back at the Czar Dragon. Then you focus the translation necklace on letting you communicate with the dragon instead of just speaking the common language of this land.

"Good morning, Mr. Czar Dragon. Would you mind answering some questions?" The dragon's head rears back, and it turns entirely horizontal, as if examining you from a different angle will provide some insight as to your new-found ability to communicate. Then he … roars, after a fashion – it sounds more like a nasally, bugling honk than a proper roar. Then he repeats the noise, and you rub your ears. Does this mean you can't communicate with it? Is he just not intelligent enough to have a language? Is Patchouli's necklace malfunctioning? The Czar Dragon tilts his head to one side, then the other, then roar-honks to the sky, and a reverse-funnel opens in the lava, and when he looks at you once more understanding begins to seep into your mind.

First, is that the creature is not particularly bright, even by slow-witted tree standards. Second, is that he's lonely, in several senses of the word. Third is that even if you did find lumpy sort-of-liquid lizards attractive, you aren't interested. And fourth is that even if you were, you aren't anywhere near about to let Hatate of all people realize that this particular dragon is trying to come on to you. But how the hell are you going to get her to think this is actually some kind of lava-dragon mortal combat death-ritual … without actually lying to her?

… And what are you going to do about the Czar Dragon, anyway?


What do you do?

[ ] Just try to snatch the Star Piece and get out of the volcano. Let someone else deal with whatever fallout exists.

[ ] … Time to kill a dragon?

[ ] Nope. Nope. You're going to get your bag and go back to Gensokyo. Forget it, time to go.

[ ] Other?