Tengu Reporter Quest (Touhou) (World 7 - Wheel of Time)

Go see Bowser.
- Try and learn about the history of the Koopa Kingdom that you couldn't find in the Mushroom Kingdom.


"Well, since he's here, let's see how things are going for the competition," you say, and Hatate nods after only a couple seconds of confusion. Then she starts walking toward the back of the village.

"Should we tell anyone we're going? Or, I don't know, make up where we're going?" You shake your head.

"Reasonable questions, but we're not that close with anyone, and Geno already knows we're planning on leaving. And we can always come back if you want to lose more feathers." Hatate scowls at you but keeps walking, pointedly examining her wings. Someone with a human's perception probably wouldn't notice anything, but tengu would. She stops once you're out of view from the village and the mine entrance and looks down the mountainside.

"There. You can see some of them, near the trees." You follow her pointing finger and nod as you study the creatures. They look like ambulatory mushrooms, even moreso than the Toads, and you wonder if they're as tasty as they look. Something to ask Bowser, maybe? They seem to be keeping watch, and you look back at Hatate. She nods. "I peeked from a bit lower. He's keeping under the trees."

"Alright, then." You stand up and wink at Hatate. She sighs but follows as you step off the edge of the path and 'slide' down the mountainside on a carpet of air. Down you rush, and the mushroom-soldiers only realize what's going on when you're almost upon them. Up close, you can see that they have toothy mouths and lack arms, appearing more bestial than the Toads, but as you glide to a halt before their perimeter, you see dark robes behind the trees, and behind them, hulking in the shadows, the great Koopa King. More than that, however – things that Hatate didn't notice, or couldn't properly interpret. The robes aren't as clean as they should be, and the mushroom-soldiers have marks of injuries: scorch marks, healing scabs, missing fangs. And if the robed individuals don't cower as the mushroom-soldiers do, they obviously lack the will to actually interpose themselves between you and their king. "Hello," you call out, and wave brightly as Hatate touches down behind you. You ignore the rank and file and stare past the robed – are those supposed to be magicians? No, don't get distracted! "You must be King Bowser! A pleasure to meet you!" Success!

"... Huh?" Bowser stares at you dumbfounded, and you stride forward, past the similarly stunned warriors and – yes, they have wands – magicians, and briefly curtsy to the scourge of the Mushroom Kingdom. Your eyes flit from point to point – discolorations in his yellow scales that might be bruises, a few minor chips and gashes on the rim of his shell, a few spikes with snapped-off points – before you focus on his red eyes peering down at you from behind his snout. "Er, you …?" You put on a puzzled expression.

"You are King Bowser, aren't you? The King of Awesome, the Scourge of the Mushroom Kingdom, King of the Koopas, the Prolific Princess-napper, the -" You're glad when Bowser shakes himself; otherwise, you'd have to dig into the really inane nicknames the Mushroom Kingdom has for him.

"Yes, yes, I – I mean!" With a surprising amount of grace for such a bulky creature, Bowser slithers backward and turns away from you … and gives himself a pep talk. "She's just a fan! Chin up, you're the King!" He growls to himself, then turns with far more majesty than he retreated with, emphasizing his oni-like brawn as he stalks back to you. "You've got a lot of guts! Not many people are brave enough to walk up to King Koopa and start talking to him. Magikoopas! What are you doing, standing there?" The handful of robed Koopas shake themselves out of their daze and start moving around. "I'm not sure you two are Koopa Troop material, though." Hatate squawks indignantly, but you just turn up the brightness on your smile.

"Of course not, King Bowser – we'd never dream of trying to join the Koopa Troop. We're actually journalists. We never expected we'd run into you here of all places, though." Your voice practically drips sweetness – the only way you could more thoroughly butter him up is if you poured some over him – and it works like a charm. "I was actually hoping to interview you, you know. But you're so hard to track down, and the only information I was able to get about you came from the Mushroom Kingdom." You can almost see the gears clicking along inside his skull.

"Journalists? Interview me?" He shakes his head roughly and glares at you. "Why should I let you interview me?" You feign an expression of surprise.

"Why, it's obvious! The only Bowser people know about is the Bowser the Mushroom Kingdom tells them about! The horrifying monster who kidnaps the princess and is defeated by Mario. No one knows about the real Bowser: strong, devastatingly handsome, brave, wise – a wonderful leader! Why, I bet if Princess Toadstool knew the real you and not Mushroom Kingdom propaganda, she'd rethink her marriage plans in a heartbeat!" Bowser tries to maintain his glower, but has to turn around quickly when a dreamy smile threatens to break through. Hatate coughs very quietly and gives you a look, but you smile reassuringly at her. Then Bowser snarls loudly and whirls back to you.

"Magikoopa! Two badges!" A few seconds pass before one of the robed koopas presses two small badges – skeletal impressions of Bowser's face – into his massive claw. "Here. You two are now members in good standing of the Koopa Troop Press Corps!" You and Hatate take your badges – what else are you to do? - and he claps your shoulders gently to guide you toward a large stone that serves as a table. Large shells serve as seats for you and Hatate, but Bowser just looms across from you. "An interview? What sort of questions were planning to ask?" Your notebook is in your hands.

"Well, like I said, everything that anyone knows about you is filtered through the Mushroom Kingdom. So no one knows about your childhood, your family, or even the history of the Koopa Kingdom itself! If we could start – er, is something wrong?" Bowser shakes off his melancholic look and frowns at you.

"The history of the Koopas is long and glorious – much too long for me to bother explaining it all right now. I would tell you to go to the castle and explore the archives with Kamek, but right now …." He trails off, his voice fading sadly, but then he growls explosively. "It's, er, undergoing renovations, and Kamek is much too busy working on that, so it's not possible to tell you much about that." You nod assuringly, and he relaxes at your seeming to believe him.

"Then, your own childhood? It's all in the dark – I even read one bit that called you an 'ancient dinosaur!'" Bowser snarls at that.

"Ancient?! I'm no older than Mario! That's it! Next time I break into the palace, I'm gonna burn down their library!" His anger vanishes quickly, however, and he looks distinctly uncomfortable for a moment. "My childhood … er, well, I guess it was about normal for someone in my position, really. Learned … how to be a king, things like that. It's … it's boring, really, but once we get back to the castle we can go into it, if you really want to." You frown and quietly drum your pen against your notebook. Something about the history of Bowser's people bothers him, and it's probably something that kept going at least through his childhood. Could they have population troubles? Or … If Geno was being at least partially truthful about the Star Road having a function in the actual granting of wishes, then there have probably been people wishing for things like 'Koopas to stop existing' or 'Koopas never existed.' But the truth of that would either have to come from Geno's superiors – unless he knows the truth and will talk about it – or from a close reading of the Koopa histories. If this 'Kamek' is like Keine or Patchouli, then he might even know what's going on already! But Bowser is right here … if you can get him to talk, anyway.


What do you do?

[ ] Keep talking to Bowser.
- [ ] Change the Subject.
- [ ] Try to get more information about the past from him.
- - How?

[ ] Chat for a little longer, then make an excuse and leave.
- [ ] Bowser's Keep.
- [ ] The first Moleville.

[ ] Other?

Keep talking to Bowser.
- Change the Subject.


No, best to leave the touchy subject alone. At least until you have a better grasp on his character, anyway, so you know what levers to pull and what strings to leave alone. "Hmm … then, can you tell us about your latest attack on Moleville? Or is that a trade secret?" Hatate goggles at you, but Bowser is too busy doing the same to notice.

"Attack on Moleville? Er, I …." He glances at one of the magikoopas, who shakes his head slowly.

"Yes, we were just there! There was a cave-in that trapped some children inside the mine, and everyone said it was because a star fell from the sky and slammed into the mountain. And since you're here, and Mario just arrived, and the odds of a something falling from the sky and surviving intact enough to do that kind of damage without simply exploding are incredibly low, of course you must have had a hand in it." Bowser blinks at you, then looks up toward the mountain.

"Mario … arrived. Collapsed mine …." He growl-snorts and shakes his head, and when he looks back at you he's full of confidence. "Heh! My magikoopas are the greatest wizards in the world. Something like that is easier than breaking into the Mushroom Kingdom's castle! But don't go spreading that around just yet." You nod at the warning, and a magikoopa standing off the side catches your attention. He points his wand menacingly at you, then taps his glasses warningly before walking to a group of the mushroom-soldiers. It's good to know that even if Bowser himself has some shortcomings, he also has subordinates capable of making up for them.

"Um, how – how did you manage to get all the way down here without anyone noticing you?" You wince at Hatate's question – she could throw the whole thing off – but Bowser simply roars with laughter.

"Ha! Across the sea, underground, wherever we wish! Goombas are some of the best for underground work – isn't that right, goombas?" The mushroom-soldiers coo loudly in response, and Bowser grins proudly. "And magikoopas are barrier specialists, whether breaking them or placing walls or floors. There's nowhere the Koopa Troop can't get to if they want in!" Hatate glances at you, and you shrug; she might be on a roll with the Koopa King.

"Is that why you're so successful when kidnapping Princess Toadstool?" Bowser laughs again, remembering better times.

"Ah, yes, kidnapping the princess. Hmm … actually, not really. Those Toads are so cowardly that all I have to do is show up and they hide in fear. Not that that's a bad idea, of course – but deploying the Koopa Troop against them is unnecessary. No, they perform real duties, like taking over other countries temporarily so that blasted Mario is away from the Kingdom for a while, or investigating brand new lands." Hatate cocks her head curiously as Bowser preens.

"But … don't you want to conquer the world anyway? Why not start with the Mushroom Kingdom?" The Koopa Troop all stop what they're doing, and Bowser whips around so quickly that he actually falls forward – which merely puts his blazing red eyes level with Hatate's own.

"What?! Conquer the world? Who wants to do a stupid thing like that?" Hatate backs away, holding her notebook up defensively. She freezes as your camera goes off, and Bowser's head snaps toward you.

"I'm sorry, King Bowser, but you looked so amazingly powerful, I had to take a picture," you say, and Hatate shoots you a betrayed look as the Koopa shakes his head and lurches upright. "But what Hatate just said is why we were hoping for an interview: everyone thinks that you want to conquer the world, and only Mario is holding you back." Bowser whuffs, sending a small gout of flame over your heads, and crosses his arms.

"No one wants to rule the Mushroom Kingdom; I don't, Mario doesn't, Toadstool doesn't spend any time there, even the Toads don't want anything to change! No, I just want Toadstool to marry me." His arms uncross and imitate holding a person as his eyes soften dreamily. You wince and take a step back as he seems to carry his lover along with him. "Oh, Toadstool, you've finally come around. Come, let me show you around the Koopa Kingdom." His voice is soft and gentle – at least, as soft and gentle as a three meter tall kappa-oni can make it – and his steps meander crazily. He describes the mountains, the rocks, the mountains, the burrows, the crags, the stormy coastal cliffs, the wind-swept peaks upon which the keeps of the Koopalings are crafted. If youkai do come here, there's going to be some stiff competition for his kingdom, that's for sure! A magikoopa – probably the same one who was irritated by you before – walks up and glares at you, then clears his throat. Then again. And then, with another glare at you, he simply faces his boss.

"Lord Bowser!" Bowser finally snaps back to reality, and the magikoopa salutes him. "Sire, the troops have all been recovered, and we are ready to begin the operation." Bowser blinks, then nods and snaps his fingers twice, his claws snapping loudly. His forces fall in before him, one of the magikoopas shooing you out of the way before joining the formation. Bowser looks at the formation, in places where there are no soldiers; recent losses, probably. Then his eyes slide over to you and he growl-snorts loudly.

"Alright, everyone! I'm the biggest, baddest brute around, and no one's gonna forget it! Let's show those fools who's the boss around here!" He snaps twice again, then leads his troops to the north. A magikoopa slips out of the formation and walks up to you.

"You can, of course, keep the badges," she elongates the s's, not quite hissing but still quite sinister-sounding, "but this operation is off-limits to the press, even the Press Corps. We'll find you when it's finished and give you all the relevant details of our victory." She nods peremptorily and hurries to catch up to the rest of the Troop. Once they're out of earshot, you turn to Hatate.

"... I think they don't like you, Hatate." She glares at you, and you smile as you duck under her notebook.


What do you do?

[ ] Follow the Koopa Troop anyway.
- [ ] Try to get Bowser to talk some more.
- - How, and about what?

[ ] Go to Bowser's Castle and wait for the Koopa Troop to catch up.

[ ] Other?