Remove ads

Hangar Queens: A Modern Military Mecha Satire

Reader mode
Tayta Malikai said:
Throughout it all, 2nd Lt Hansen repeatedly asks to be allowed to fly closer and hit the enemy tanks with his sword.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...



Obligatory meme is obligatory.

[X] The SAA forces did not retreat in reasonably good order.

All the others could reflect badly or reduce the ability of the unit to respond. The social media one is very tempting, but I have a suspicion that it'll be a video of our mech almost frying the humvee and I'd rather not have that on the official record.
 
[X] None of the US mechas took any notable damage during the engagement.

We can fix this, we have the technology.
 
I bet the humvee was waiting there due to an anarchist plot- oh wait this isn't YASFDQ.

[X] The refugee camp at Rubkan was not struck by collateral damage.
 
Either the company that built our mecha skimped on the systems, or the Syrians are using IR smoke, because your bog-standard smoke generating machines and smoke grenades are pretty much useless against legit thermal imagers that we should be running. Testimonial from Desert Storm - Abrams was fighting in smoke and literal sandstorms that blinded the Iraqis, but did just fine because America is a Pay to Win Whale in a sea of F2P minnows and the occasional salty tuna. :V

Tayta Malikai said:
"Well, Drop Mom, it appears that this machine's fifty million dollar, gold-plated, DoD-certified targeting system has officially shit itself again," Buck replies, voice laden with sarcasm.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Goddamnit military industrial complex, you're making the F-35 development look well-managed. :V

...I just realised that one day, decades from now, I'll be on the internet as reformers pooh-pooh the next generation Ace Combat superplane and argue why can't we just stick to the proven legacy F-35, and I'll just pull out all the F-35 arguments from before :V
 
Last edited:
Tayta Malikai said:
Select one outcome which does not occur. This is a meta-vote.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Oh we're doing this now. Following and voting:
[X] The refugee camp at Rubkan was not struck by collateral damage.

Are we going to have a pseudo-grading system like in PoT where good choices and outcomes gives more picks on the meta-votes?

Also, stick with the main reason we're here, intercept and not allow any damage to come to the camp. Anything else is secondary.
 
Vocalend said:
Oh we're doing this now. Following and voting:
[X] The refugee camp at Rubkan was not struck by collateral damage.

Are we going to have a pseudo-grading system like in PoT where good choices and outcomes gives more picks on the meta-votes?

Also, stick with the main reason we're here, intercept and not allow any damage to come to the camp. Anything else is secondary.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Thebigpieman said:
I'm... uh... half certain we're voting for which of the 4 outcomes is false. Course I could be wrong, @Tayta Malikai, love could you clarify?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Ahhh jeez I knew this was gonna happen why didn't I prevent this

The four options listed are events that, by default, do not happen. If you do not vote for "The refugee camp was not struck by collateral damage", then the refugee camp is not struck by collateral damage.

Conversely, if you do vote for "The USAF was not embarrassed on social media", then the USAF is embarrassed on social media.

Or, more simply, you are voting for one bad thing to happen. This was an overall good outcome.

It's probably too late to edit it now, but in the future I should really align this stuff properly. Sorry!
 
[X] The US Air Force was not embarrassed on international social media.

It's obviously just a testament to our skill that we could land right on top of the humvee to provide support.
 
Tayta Malikai said:
Target in the centre, pull the switch.

The armour-piercing fin-stabilized discarding-sabot round leaps from the barrel, crosses the intervening distance, and passes several metres above your target.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Tayta Malikai said:
Your radar can still penetrate it just fine, but it only shows relative positions – you can't tell if you're aiming at the front, or at the side. It makes a lot more difference than you expect: without reliable targeting data, you find that quite a few tanks you thought killed survive to emerge from the smoke cloud and take some potshots. Some of them even come close, forcing you to regularly boost-jump to keep the enemy tankers from getting a lock on you.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
goddamnit cibai these defense contractors dei u all cannot calibrate for shit isit!?

Like FFS, the whole point of the millimeter-wave radar on the Apache Longbow is exactly so that even in a situation like this, you can blindfire radar-guided Hellfires (vs the usual laser-guided Hellfires) into an enemy tank formation.

Cibai these defense contractors, make a mecha weaker than helicopter and fighter. Why the fuck are we using these things again?

Tayta Malikai said:
The duffle bag you carried with you on the plane here is unzipped, and out comes your pilot suit, personally fitted and customized to your needs. It's perhaps most accurately described as the bastard mad science child of a traditional flight suit and Gothic plate armour, Nomex meta-aramid fibre and ceramic trauma plates woven together to provide maximum protection against sudden shocks, spalling, whiplash, and fire. The downside, of course, is a constant and deeply uncomfortable pressure around your crotch as you seal it.

As the captain promised, your Q-35A boots up with a minimum of fuss, something that utterly shocks you as you settle down in your seat and check all the connection points. It's made of an amorphous gel that ripples gently under your weight.

The Q-35A's seat is filled with an amorphous gel that ripples gently under your weight, its tendrils flowing slightly around your limbs and sticking to the material of your pilot suit.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
...skintight pilot suits and cockpit seats with built in gel/lube dispensers that apparently have tentacular properties.

ok, that works for me. I can roll with that.
 
Last edited:
[X] None of the US mechas took any notable damage during the engagement.
 
[X] None of the US mechas took any notable damage during the engagement.
 
[X] None of the US mechas took any notable damage during the engagement.
Hrrmm...Yeah prolly a good call. Our Maintenance skill can only come into play but so much if we don't have anything to FIX. And Ricky here is not a pilot skilled enough that he should be handling upgrades I think.
 
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top