Fate/Barren Lie: A Fate/Zero Quest

Day 19
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Insurgency, urgency, actions without fury or future - what happens to a dream deferred? So insubstantial... subsiding on just that isn't healthy, y'know? You need something more solid then that. Mmm... stake-broiled Saint. Delicious.
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[X] Come to a diplomatic agreement. All Caster wants to do is... well, you don't really know what she wants to do, but there's gotta be a better way to resolve this, right?
-[X] Ask why in particular she needs to subdue her Master.
[X] Ask Assassin for advice. Assassin's surprisingly smart, and she may have some unexpected insights for you.
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Well.

There's a lot of information just dumped on you, and no good way to sort this out. Pros and cons too heavy for you to even consider weighing individually. Caster came to you because... well, you don't really know why. Maybe she thought Saber was more approachable than any of the other Servants. Maybe it was something completely different. The point is, you're here, and there's no point in thinking about what could have happened, only that the burden of responsibility rests squarely on your shoulders.

It's a heavy burden to bear.
Saber watches from behind the counter, her concern palpable. You wave her away. "I'm fine, Saber. Just... overwhelmed."
Actually, when you put it that way- you pause, looking up from the counter. "Saber, can you-"

"Nope." Saber shakes her head, denying you before you even finish your sentence. "Sorry, but you need to figure this out without me, Master~."
Not what you needed to hear. "Really? This is pretty important, y'know." You plead.
You try to keep your tone neutral, but you can't help but feel childish, like a kid throwing a tantrum about something you can't have. It's irritating, to say the least. You glare back at Saber, who pays you no attention. She's doing the dishes, of all things, whistling as she places them into the dishwasher. Holding up a dish so shiny you can see yourself reflected on it, your face tired and haggard.

"You'll have to make a lot of important decisions, Master. I won't - that is, you shouldn't always rely on me to help. You need to figure out decisions by yourself. This will be a good test." Saber doesn't even look at you as she lectures on, multitasking as she puts dishes back into the dishwasher. She makes it sound so simple. So easy. With a low hum, the dishwasher turns on, Saber cleaning her hands on a towel.

"Fine." You snap. "Can you go patrol the house or something?" Stupid... after a second, Saber begins disappears, silently fading into wisps of light as she exits the house. Leaving you alone to stew in your thoughts.
...
...

You know she's right. Of course she's right. It was stupid of you to snap at her. She was just trying to help you, after all. You're just tired, off kilter. And over such a petty thing.
But it's... frustrating. You have a lot to think about, now that you're alone. Maybe you do look up to Saber too much, as a heroic spirit from Japan. Maybe you've been relying on her too much. But you're just... you, and the thought of trying to figure this out on your own terrifies you. You let out a sigh. You'll have to apologize to Saber later, but for now you might as well try to puzzle this out on your own.

Well, maybe not on your own. Saber never said anything about asking for advice from someone else, and you have two Servants.
"Jack?" you whisper, the silence of the house slightly disconcerting. There's a brief tug on your magic circuits, and you turn around.
Assassin materializes into the room, landing silently behind you. "You needed me?"
"Yeah." you reply. You pull the seat next to you out, and your Servant sits back on it, looking completely at ease. "Did you hear about what Caster said?"

Jack's green eyes twinkle with glee. "Yep!"

That's good. Saves you the effort of explaining, something you really can't muster the energy to do right now. Jack peers up at you, her hands clasped together. At least someone's enthusiastic, you think to yourself.
"Did you want my advice, Master?"
Yes, is what you want to say. Instead, you simply shrug. "Do you have experience with things like this?"
Assassin pauses. "Like what, Master? Making big decisions like this?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm... nope!" She twirls, the stool spinning, coming to a stop in front of you. "But I do know something, Master. Want me to share?"
"Sure."
Jack smiles, the scar on her right eye widening slightly.

"Mommy, I really care for you. Because even though I'm... me, you still treat me like a kid. We, who are a collection of grudges, of the dead and the dying." Absentmindedly, she traces a scarred circle on her left arm, rubbing it gently. Comfortingly.
"You'd think that you would get used to it, but you never can. Dying is always scary, painful, so terrifying that you want to scream. But you can't, because the life is getting choked out of you. And it's always cold, freezing cold." She says it so matter-of-factly, you can believe it. That she's died a hundred times before. At her moment of remembrance, Assassin seemed so much more jaded then a child should be.

"But, Mommy-" Jack turns to stare at you, the scar on her left eye giving her a mischievous look "-if you learn how to be immortal, we'll all be happy, right? We'll never die, and we'll live happily ever after."
"So-"
"But, then I think. If we hadn't died, we wouldn't be here?" It takes you a second to realize that she's referring to herself in the plural.
"Death was scary. And painful. But now we're here, and we're happy! And that would have never happened if we hadn't died. If we hadn't died, and come back, we would've been stuck in London forever." Jack smiles. And her logic makes sense, in a roundabout way. But-

"...But what if I die?" You whisper back to Jack.
You don't want to die. You've come face-to-face with death before, and you're scared. Terrified. That's the real reason why you want immortality. It seems so much more pathetic when you think of it that way, something you could never reveal to Saber. Even revealing this to Assassin is shameful, to fear something a child has faced hundreds of times before.

And just like that, Jack is serious. "You won't die. We'll protect you." You're thankful that the look on Assassin's face wasn't directed towards you; a face filled with hatred and vengeance, promising violence at anyone who would dare bring you harm. Assassin's care, however murderous it may be, warms your heart.

"...Thanks, Jack." You pat her head, mussing Assassin's hair around before standing up, leaving a slightly bewildered Jack behind you. You know what to do now.

The first thing you see once you exit the house is Caster, practicing magecraft, the air practically charged with prana as she works. Her hands sprouts wisps of white mist, thin lines of smoke that twirl around itself, forming fragile lines of power. Her face is focused, eyes narrowed in concentration as she brings the ends together - not into a dove, but something bigger, with wings, legs, horns and scales that weave themselves together over a pure-white patchwork frame. It's strangely intimate, how Caster moves her hands over the growing body, pulling the skin together, and you don't dare move for fear of startling her.

In the end, however, imperfections that even you can see begin to form - scales coming off in patches, one side slightly bigger than the other - until finally, the entire thing just falls apart, deflating like a popped balloon. Caster sighs, disappointed but not surprised, the threads pulling themselves together by themselves. Before she can get started again, you walk out, sidestepping the destroyed grass to face Caster.

"Ah. Have you made your decision, Master of Saber?" Caster's voice is softer, now, but still firm. You nod. "Before I tell you, can I ask something?"
"Sure." She responds, easily.
"Why do you want to take out your Master?"
Caster frowns, pursues her lips as she looks away. "I don't necessarily need to incapacitate him. It's just... I have a feeling that he won't listen to me otherwise. That he's too stubborn for his own good, and that's hurting him. And I don't know why I need to do this."
The anger in her tone is unexpectedly sharp and bitter. "I just need to. Even if he's hurting me, I just... need to help him. I don't even know him, but..."
She sighs. "Sorry for venting, I just..."

"No, it's understandable." Even if her particular problem isn't, then the frustration is. There are things that you just need to do, even if it seems ridiculous. Things that, if you were to deny them, would be anathema to your very self. Still, that leads to your next answer.
"I won't try to... I don't know, assassinate Emiya Kiritsugu. I'm not willing to do that. However-" you hold up a hand to stop Caster from replying.
"-I will try to help you come to a diplomatic agreement, under the one condition that you stand with us in the future."

"What's happening in the future?" For once, Caster looks somewhat lost. You shake your head. "We don't know. But, something isn't right with this Grail. There's too many loose ends to be considered a coincidence. And, maybe it is just a coincidence. But if it isn't, we should be ready." And, with three Servant-Master pairs, you'll feel much more confidant.

"Do you still want the research?" Caster asks, after a second of contemplation.
You wait, pause as you think about your choice, tasting the words on your lips, before finally shaking your head. "Nah."

Perhaps a better person would say yes. A savior, a hero, who would revolutionize the world, banish Death.
But you aren't that person. You don't want to be a hero. And some things are best left forgotten, some ghosts should stay hidden, and some secrets should stay buried. Death was a natural part of life, the yin to life's yang, and the end of the road. Getting rid of that would be foolish.

"So, our revised agreement is for you to provide me with protection for negotiations, and in return me and my Master will join your... alliance." Caster tests the words, nodding. "Is that acceptable?"
You smile back. "Yep." And it's a relief, that the agreement's so... mundane. Immortality is too much of a burden for one person to carry. "Do I need to sign a geas, or...?"
"No, this will be fine." She smiles, much to your surprise, a smile that lights up her face. "I'll be counting on you, Saber."

Saber? "Did you mean-"
"No, nevermind." She coughs, turning away. Caster seems distinctly embarrassed for reasons you don't quite understand. "We'll move to negotiations tomorrow. I need some time to prepare."
...

After that last odd comment, silence descends between you and Caster. Business has been concluded, and thus conversations should come to an end. Still, you're a bit curious. You decide to -
[X] Ask about the magecraft you saw before. You haven't seen magecraft like that before, and you're interested in how it works.
[X] Ask some more about Kiritsugu Emiya. You've never seen the famed Magus Killer before and you are morbidly curious of what his methods entail.
[X] Ask Caster about herself. Maybe not about immortality, but you're interested in what sort of Heroic Spirit she was when she was alive. And, maybe about that comment...?
[X] Write-In.

After briefly chatting with Caster, you decide to prepare for negotiations, in one way or another. Yes, the discussion is supposed to be peaceful, but you aren't taking any chances. You decide to-

Choose two choices.
[X] Apologize to Saber. It's something you need to do, and you don't want to go into negotiations with a bad relationship with Saber.
[X] Practice some actual attacks with your Magecraft. Studying research isn't enough to use your magecraft effectively; some basic ways of using Magecraft might be helpful. As for the type of Magecraft, you want to focus on
[X] Ask Waver if he would be of any assistance. Of course, Berserker is a wild card at best, but he might be helpful. Somehow.
[X] Study up on the Magus Killer. His abilities, his tactics - anything that might come in handy. Know thy enemy.
[X] Write-In.