At the same time, I don't think answering Jana would be very high on his priority list either, but he's taken the time to speak with her, so it'd be almost no effort more to make her comfortable.
Hmm. Good point.
Re: this questline as a whole, I think it's clear this is more of a character thing for Jana than something that would lead to solid benefits. If she does want to keep up, she's going to be better served being the wholly platonic Gareth to Elys' Yslena.
That actually sounds pretty cute, if she came back from this determined to learn from her adopted dad, who's got nothing better to do right now and is old enough that he might be thinking of passing on his skills. Father-daughter bonding time.
That, along with utility focused magic, a bunch of spirit bargains and some physical tweaking by Mishrak seems like the way to go here. I also like the general aesthetic of her desperately working to grasp every advantage she can find because she wants to help her sister. It's a nice contrast to Elys' "can't go into a market without bumping into a god" destiny gifted powers.
Thanks,
runeblue360. I kept your comments in mind while I was writing this next chapter:
*
Don't You Want Me, God?
'Uhh… I might as well do what I came here to do,' I said. Sitting down on one of the pews, I began to pray. Amber sat down next to me. I tried not to get too distracted, even though she was tantalizingly close. Instead, I focused on my prayer, on what I wanted to say.
'Hey, Forgotten God, it's me, Jana. Heh, I felt a bit awkward saying your name like that. It's a bit of a mouthful, isn't it? Do you have a nickname, maybe? Something a bit shorter? Could I call you Forgy? Forgo? FG? Or do you insist on people saying your full name every time? Although… it's not really a name, is it? It's a title. Yeah, I've heard the story about how Telthalus tricked you into getting rid of all your names, and how you were erased from existence. But have you ever considered getting a new name? Or two, or three, or more? I know Lissa has many names: she's Lyzani in the West; Belissan or Shelinande in the South; she was Elyssar to the Queli of old; some call her Yanis the Fairest; and no doubt she's got dozens of names I've never even heard of. Have you ever considered following her example in that regard? Just a thought. Uhh… I'm gabbling, no? Please excuse me, I'm nervous. Let me start again.
'I… I hope you remember me. I remember you. When I nearly drowned, you… uh, I'm not entirely sure what you did, but I'm not dead. Thank you for that. Thank you for my life.'
After that, I hesitated. I was about to ask him to do me a big favour. I needed to ask in a way that would get him to take me seriously, make him consider my request and not immediately reject me, and I couldn't do that if I kept blundering around like a blind elephant. I had to be subtle about this. Yeah, I can do subtle, all right?
But it didn't matter. Before I could continue my rant, I heard a faint, raspy voice in my mind: 'Hello, Jana.'
There was darkness, all around. Did I fall asleep? Was it a dream? At the time, I was very disoriented: I didn't understand what was going on.
When I opened my eyes, I was no longer sitting in the Sprawl's stubby grey stone temple. Instead, I was standing on a beach. A very familiar beach. Silvery-brown sand and smooth, rounded pebbles underfoot.
This is where I nearly drowned, I thought. I suppose it's appropriate.
This is where I came closest to death. Close to the Forgotten God.
For years afterwards, I didn't like beaches. Too afraid of getting drowned again. However, over time, I forced myself to conquer that fear. I refused to let unreasonable fear keep me from doing anything I wanted to do. Even if, maybe, that fear wasn't so unreasonable. I mean, it's not paranoia if there really are evil spirits who want to kill you.
So, I forced myself to come back here. Aversion therapy. It seemed to work. I'm always in a state of heightened alertness whenever I get near a body of water, but at least I've stopped shaking, crying, and shitting myself. Uh, forget that last one. That never happened! Nope, never!
Anyway, it's not like I don't have good memories of this beach and others like it. Family time with Gareth and Yslena. Childish games with Elys and Catharne. That sort of thing. While it would never be one of my favourite places I could at least enjoy myself here. And it was a good place to get some thinking done. Even as I felt a shiver of apprehension, it concentrated the mind beautifully.
I glanced around. There was the shoreline, a shining belt of white water nipping at the edges of the beach. On the other side, there were cliffs, piles of weathered rocks, and the hill where Seawatch Keep dominated the skyline. Everything was as I remembered it, even the little shack where I used to live. My mom's old hut.
But… isn't that gone, now?
'This is just a memory,' I said. 'It's a time and place that's gone. Ismar isn't my home anymore, not since the Aspitis took over. Why did you bring me here?'
He was in front of me. Almost transparent, barely even a shadow, he was a cloaked, hooded silhouette hanging in the air. I didn't notice him until then. He was difficult to see. Even after I noticed him, I still felt I was having to strain my eyes to see him.
'Which of your questions would you like me to answer first?' he asked.
'Uhh…'
'Please don't call me Forgy or Forgo. Very undignified. You may call me FG if you wish. In this case, I prefer the acronym to the other options. Just don't overdo it. Also, the reason why I refuse to choose a new name is because my old names were used to destroy me, long ago. I won't let that happen again. While I remain nameless, I am safe.'
'Isn't "the Forgotten God" your name, though?' I asked.
'No. As you said, it is a title.'
'Oh.'
'I brought you here because this place is significant to both of us. It's where I bent my own rules by giving you a chance to live. Perhaps I should not have done so. The god of death should not play favourites. Still, what's done is done.' He didn't have eyes that I could see, but I felt that he was looking at me. 'I'm pleased that you've made the most of it. You have lived well, made good friends, and the world is a better place for your living in it.'
'Um… are you sure? I'm only twelve. I haven't had time to do very much yet.'
'I didn't say it was significantly better, just better.
Infinitesimally better.'
'Oh. Thanks.'
He laughed: a dry, hacking sound. 'You're very young, still. Most of your life is still ahead of you, with any luck. Plenty of time to do whatever you want.'
'Is there anything you want? I mean, you didn't ask for anything in exchange for saving my life, but I guess I owe you a favour,' I said. 'If you need anything from me, just let me know.'
'I have everything I need,' said the Forgotten God. 'Just live. And be happy.'
'Are you sure? I mean… I've heard that some gods choose human servants to act as their representatives, to do things they cannot. Maybe I could do that for you? We already have a special connection, don't we? And you did say I was one of your favourites,' I said, fluttering my eyelashes at him. It seems to work whenever Elys does it. Not me, though. I don't think I've got the eyelashes for it.
'You want to be my Chosen?' he asked.
'Yeah. My sister, Elys, is Mishrak's Chosen. She's a really nice person. Kind, sweet, and always trying to do the right thing. Brave, too. She'd think nothing of walking into danger to help somebody in need. I worry that sooner or later she'll get into the kind of trouble she won't be able to get out of. That's why I want the power of a Chosen One: not for myself, but to protect those I Iove. Whatever you need a Chosen One for, I'd be happy to do it – making sure the Wheel keeps turning, helping people live well, and so on – it all sounds good to me. How about it?'
He let out a sigh like the last exhalation of a dying man. Yeah, I know what that sounds like. 'There are thousands of girls just like you who wish they had the power to save their families. Boys, too. Many of them can't even save themselves. Why should I choose you? Why not one of them? What makes you so extraordinary?'
I felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. 'Because… you saved my life. You kept me alive when I would have died,' I said, trying and failing to keep my voice steady. 'You didn't do that for anyone else. Just me.'
'Perhaps I should not have done so. I am the ultimate fairness. Rich and poor, young and old, the great and the very humble: all are alike in death. So, why did I give you special treatment?'
'I don't know. But you did.' There was a lump in my throat. It was a struggle to get the words out. 'Don't you want me?'
A pause. Even the waves were still. Then, in the silence, the Forgotten God spoke again: 'It's said that if you save somebody's life you are responsible for what they do with it. That makes me responsible for you. I want you to live a good life. To be happy. But… your life is your own. Your choices are your own. I don't need you to do anything for me. I especially don't need a Chosen One: I already have Teryn serve in that role. If I were to
choose you as well, it would only be as a kindness to you. And really, would it be a kindness? I have powerful enemies who would like nothing better than to diminish me by killing my Chosen. You're better off as you are, I feel.'
'Why did you
choose Teryn?' I asked. 'I've heard the story of how he became the god of death in Chamdara, but what made you think he'd be a good candidate?'
'He was of the royal line of the Valhraeg tribe, a direct descendant of Valurhiag the Just, King of Urosh during the First Age. After he died fighting the dread Oudagorgon, Valurhiag's soul was preserved by his lover, the goddess Fiathriada, who merged with him to become a new god of justice for the dead. They had a demigod son who wasn't in line for the throne because he was considered illegitimate. As a mark of my respect, I promised that whenever one of his descendants died, I would show up to collect their soul in person. That could have been a problem if the family had grown very large, but it never did: it was only the royal line of the Valhraegs and a few cousins.
'A few thousand years later, during the Second Age, the Valhraegs went to war with another tribe and were defeated. Some of them accepted their new role as a conquered people; they were subsumed by their victorious enemies. Others, including the chieftain and his family, refused to accept this. They boarded their ships and decided to flee across the Unbounded Ocean, to the western continent where the Golden Men came from. They'd heard that the Golden Men were powerful, wealthy immortals who sailed the skies in flying ships; according to legend, they came from a magical land where there was no death. The Valhraegs dreamed of wealth, prosperity, and eternal life. But it was a difficult journey. Very few of them survived. Most of the elders died, including the chieftain and his wife. Their young children, Teryn and Morlanna, were forced to become the leaders their tribe needed.
'As they drew drew closer to Chamdara, they realised that they'd made a mistake. They saw what it meant to live in a place where there was no death. Undead things, maimed and broken, rotting and swollen with foul-smelling gases… they roamed the land, pecked at by crows and infested by insects, but still were unable to die. The Valhraegs were sickened by what they saw, but they knew they wouldn't survive the return journey across the ocean. They had no choice but to stay, so they were determined to make the best of it.
'They met one of the local tribes, the Cachals, and were impressed by their powerful magic. They accepted the Cachals' offer of hospitality, not realising that it was a trap. Most of the souls that existed anywhere in Chamdara had been warped by centuries of undeath and necromantic magic used to maintain a semblance of life. But the Valhraegs' souls were new and pristine, fresh from the Wheel, and the Cachals coveted them. They plotted to kill their guests and steal their souls. When they found out, the Valhraegs tried to escape. Some of them got away. Others were trapped and killed. Teryn was one of them. His body was pinned to the ground with a spear so that his ghost wouldn't escape.
'While his captors delighted in their plans for what they'd do with the new souls they'd harvested, Teryn remembered the promise I'd made to his family so long ago. He demanded that I come to collect his soul. At that time, I was barred from the Western Continent because the demon Zhordros had tricked the ancient people of Chamdara into banishing death from their homeland; however, I was compelled to fulfil my oath by collecting the souls of Valurhiag's descendants. Two of the rules governing my existence were in conflict. That gave me an opportunity I'd never had before. It enabled me to speak to Teryn, briefly, and give him the knowledge and power he'd need to break the curse.'
'What was he like?' I asked.
'Very young. Bitter and angry. Full of bile and hatred. At the time, perhaps that was what he needed. Without bodies, the souls of ordinary mortals are mindless and insensate. Usually. Teryn's sheer bloodyminded stubbornness kept him sane and coherent even after the Cachals murdered him. I admired him for that.'
'I've never actually met Teryn. Not in person,' I admitted. 'But, from what I've heard, he's not a particularly angry or hateful god. What changed?'
'Suffering. At the time, he was suffering terribly,' the Forgotten God said softly. 'Some people warn against fear, hatred, anger, and other negative emotions, saying that they lead to suffering. As if suffering was a bad thing. But Teryn's suffering was a great and noble thing, which he clung to when consciousness was almost stolen from him, and which gave him the strength to overcome all obstacles in his path. Afterwards, when he'd succeeded in his quest and become the greater god of death for the Western Continent, he showed that he could move beyond suffering. He forgave his enemies and sought to bring peace to all of Chamdara. I knew then what a good choice I'd made. I was so proud of him.'
I frowned. 'Still… did you only make him your Chosen because he was in the right place at the right time?'
The Forgotten God was silent for a moment. 'Yes. Even if he'd been a loathsome individual, even if I detested him, even if he'd sought to make himself the brutal tyrannical god-emperor of Chamdara, I would still have Chosen him. Because the alternative was worse. The Western Continent was dying. Or rather, it was already dead, but some of the other gods – Lissa and Nyssa and their old foes, the Riders of Famine and Pestilence – were allied in keeping its heart beating, breathing air into its lungs, and maintaining the basic functions of life for as long as possible. What they were doing was unsustainable in the long term, but they kept going for hundreds of years until Teryn came along. He was the tool I used to rescuscitate the dead continent and free all of the lost souls who were trapped therein. If he'd failed, I would have used Morlanna instead.' He sighed again. 'Some gods treat their Chosen differently from others. I hope Mishrak treats your sister well. But, what you must understand is this: at bottom, the Chosen are tools of their god, to be used and discarded as he or she sees fit. Over time, Teryn proved himself to me. I came to see him as a friend and surrogate son, not just as a tool. Still, in the beginning, that's all he was to me.'
'For how long? It seems odd to me that Teryn's father decided to sail… uh, nearly ten thousand miles, I guess, after he was defeated in battle. In rickety little boats that normally had to hug the coastline the whole way. Did you encourage him to do that? Were you manipulating the Valhraegs from the start?'
I felt myself wilting under the intensity of the Forgotten God's gaze. 'Would you believe me if I said "no"?' he asked.
'Probably not,' I admitted.
'Then why bother to ask?' A moment's hesitation. 'If you're asking me… would I have sacrificed the Valhraegs to save all of Chamdara? Ah… yes, I would. The Valhraegs endured hardship and misery on their journey. Many of them died from it. At the end, they were met with horror and murder. I am sorry for what happened to them. Sorry that they had to suffer. But… only a few hundred people attempted the journey. Many of them survived. Meanwhile, there were billions of souls trapped in Chamdara: humans, animals, and others. So, the question is… would I sacrifice a few hundred souls to save billions? Yes. Yes, of course I would. Wouldn't you?'
After that, an awkward silence.
Changing the subject, the Forgotten God said, 'Do you still want to be Chosen? When you leave here, will you go to another god and ask them to be your patron? If so, tell them that I'll owe them a favour. That might help to persuade them. If not… ah, just because you're not divinely empowered doesn't mean you have to be useless. Play to your strengths, hone your skills while you can, learn some useful spells, maybe get Gareth or Yslena or one of their friends to train you in their specializations… I'm sure you'll find ways to protect your sister from harm even if you're not as powerful as she is. Often, being in the right place at the right time is more important than being a super-strong demigod.'
How did Jana reply? (Choose one)
[] "Bye."
[] "Thanks for the help."
[] "You've given me a lot to think about."
[] "I hate you! I can't believe you did that to Teryn's family!"
[] Say something else (write in).
What did Jana decide to do next? (Choose one)
[] Go to one of the other temples and ask to become the Chosen of…
-[] Ekku the Signifying Monkey
-[] Lissa
-[] Mawroth
(Other than the Forgotten God, those three seemed to be the most popular choices before. But you can still 'write in' if you want to vote for a different god.)
[] Go back to Mishrak's temple and ask to be transported back to the undersea palace.
-[] Ask someone for training:
--[] Gareth
--[] Yslena
--[] Flawse
--[] Samaya
[] Do something else (write in).
