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Dragon Harem Quest - Or: Saying You Were Gay Wasn't The Conversation-Ender You Hoped For

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[X] Go find the ifrit. He's a dumb stupid asshole idiot that ruined your life, but he's still got two wishes in the pocket and that's worth putting up with him. You can check out the limitations on it, see what problems you can solve.

We could get him to fix the cave back to how it was and then just wish him away. Depending on the mood of course.
 
[X] Go find the ifrit. He's a dumb stupid asshole idiot that ruined your life, but he's still got two wishes in the pocket and that's worth putting up with him. You can check out the limitations on it, see what problems you can solve.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.

Can't seduce a man in a dirty house.

I mean you can, but you have to be really good at it, and considering how much of a shut it we happen to be I doubt we've got that kind of skill.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.

Unlike the other choices this one has the advantage of trying to raise our spirit directly with something that we know we enjoy.
And considering all the stress dragonboi needs it.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.

We really need a pick-me-up.
 
[X] Go find the ifrit. He's a dumb stupid asshole idiot that ruined your life, but he's still got two wishes in the pocket and that's worth putting up with him. You can check out the limitations on it, see what problems you can solve.

I want to Eldingar to talk to people, damn it! While that may happen if the gold pile gets picked, there's no indication of that in the vote itself. Social links go!
 
Now, choices choices. This is a dating sim quest, and in those spending time picking up coins is rarely the right choice. Therefore, we should really take this option to get to know one of our options a bit better.

[X] Go find Jun-ho and spend a little more time with him. Last time seemed to go pretty well! You know a bit more about each other -him about you far more than the reverse- and the wine probably broke down some barriers!

PICK A TARGET BASED ON ONE SCENE'S WORTH OF DIALOUGE AND THEN BARREL DOWN THEIR ROUTE AT BREAKNECK SPEED! THAT'S HOW OMEGAHUGGER PLAYS DATING SIMS!

It's like going through a Pokémon using only the cute Dragon-type you found on route 3!

ZerbanDaGreat said:
Ugh, (learn incubi are actually real and they only show up right when I don't want one)," you mutter angrily.
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It's honestly kinda cute that Eldin probably spent some time in his youth wishing that a hot incubus came around to sweep him off his feet. But of course that only happens right now when he really isn't in a situation to enjoy it.
 
[x] Go find the ifrit. He's a dumb stupid asshole idiot that ruined your life, but he's still got two wishes in the pocket and that's worth putting up with him. You can check out the limitations on it, see what problems you can solve.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.

Jun-ho is likely in just as bad a state as us, Sexy Incubus is likely reconsidering his life choices, and Ifrit seems like the sort to suggest something wretched like hair-of-the-dog as a hangover cure.

Also while we got lucky the first time, we can't chance Mother coming in unannounced and seeing the state of the place and having her every disparaging thought confirmed.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.
 
So considering that this technically is a harem quest and we're therefore inevitably going to catch them all, I should probably work on mitigating my trademark tunnel-vision so as to acknowledge that other ships exist. As much as my goggles don't like it.

[X] Go find the incubus. Make him work for bothering you out of the blue, stupid contract or no. Besides, you're in such desperate need for romantic conversation help that an incubus may just be your last resort.
... I feel bad for the guy, okay? It can't be an easy business, seducing dragons.
and I very much want Eldin to get better at seducing dra-wait no I'm supposed to hold back bad brain don't think like that
 
[X] Go find the incubus. Make him work for bothering you out of the blue, stupid contract or no. Besides, you're in such desperate need for romantic conversation help that an incubus may just be your last resort.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.

It seems more in character?
 
I'm averse to talking to Jun-ho because he'll be utterly hungover and that sounds like hell, and I'm averse to talking to the ifrit because we're hung over and that also sounds like hell.

[X] Go find the incubus. Make him work for bothering you out of the blue, stupid contract or no. Besides, you're in such desperate need for romantic conversation help that an incubus may just be your last resort.

Because A) I want to know who hired him and B) ...Eldingar could probably do with the help tbh
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up thegoldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.

I'm hoping this'll give Eldingar some ideas for hoard reversing wishes.
 
oh. my. god. people. don't waste time cleaning our room. What we NEED is the skills not to just totally fuck up whenever we talk to boyfriend material. WE NEED A TEACHER.

[X] Go find the incubus. Make him work for bothering you out of the blue, stupid contract or no. Besides, you're in such desperate need for romantic conversation help that an incubus may just be your last resort.
 
[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up thegoldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.

Because with the lingering spectre of mother hanging over us, we should know our inventory for the future.
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
The incubus looks extremely concerned about something but you're not really sure what so you just wait for him to say something. He catches himself and stumbles to a start again. "I really don't know anything about your mother beyond really basic details. I'm just here because I'm an incubus and... well this is my job. And nobody else was available for it." He unlaces his claws and gestures vaguely with one hand. "Incubi uh, seduce people. And succubi and the ones in-between or neither that is. It's what we do. They said down in the infernal plane you just got into a relationship so I came up to uh... get in on that action I suppose?"

You look back at Jun-ho. He's still snoring, worming and worrying his face deeper into the barrel's embrace. You look back at the incubus.

"Us?" you ask. "Already?"

The incubus shrugs helplessly. "Not every day you get a chance to siphon lust off a dragon. Just how it works."
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Is this

Does this happen every time a dragon gets into a relationship? Was there an intelligence leak from the Auntie network or something?

[X] Go find the ifrit. He's a dumb stupid asshole idiot that ruined your life, but he's still got two wishes in the pocket and that's worth putting up with him. You can check out the limitations on it, see what problems you can solve.

For goodness sakes I just want to learn goldboi's name.
 
Is that what an reverse harem looks like?

But we're not a girl.

I guess we have an inverse-reverse harem.

[X] Go find the ifrit. He's a dumb stupid asshole idiot that ruined your life, but he's still got two wishes in the pocket and that's worth putting up with him. You can check out the limitations on it, see what problems you can solve.
 
Every time! Every time as I have to head out!

ZerbanDaGreat said:
"M'finewhatsittoyou!" you snap back. Smacking your temple as if to clear all the fog out and shaking your head wildly. You cough, hack, clear your throat. "What's- what're- why's an incubus' out-of-work dad in my cave?"

The incubus blinks a few times. He takes a minute to answer, glancing down and swallowing before he does. "Well... he's here on a job. The only job he could get. On short notice I mean," he adds. He grimaces, exhaling twin jets of breath through his nose so hot they steam. "And I already fucked it up so hey good going everyone throw a party."
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oh god he's a sort of gloomy demon dude who's down on his luck and leaped at an opportunity to try to romance a dragon even though he knows he hasn't got much of a shot 'cause it's the only job he could really pull and even then it was dumb luck

he's perfect.

And while I really, really, really want to go jump on his social link first thing I think thaaaaaat

[X] Stay inside and get to work cleaning up the goldsplosion in earnest. Seeing it all strewn about like this hurts your heart. The least you can do is make it look slightly less awful, and the gold-counting should be soothing.

Is probably for the best. It's a bit of quiet alone time, a bit of a breather after the one-two of "hoard annihilated" and "Mom's here", and while I'd hesitate to say Eldingar is out and out depressed dude's clearly not in a good headspace and hasn't been for awhile. Improving your surroundings is one of the simplest and most straightforward ways you have of improving your mood/easing anxiety iirc. Even if it's just a bit of cleaning and organizing (and it helps that handling his treasures doubles as a favorite hobby).

But god I love the three we've gotten so far. Jun-ho is probably the first friend he's made in ages, and he's sweet and shy and earnest, the Ifrit is a snobby golden asshole with just enough of Something Else peeking through and isn't afraid to needle Eldingar a bit, and Recently Unemployed Demon Daddy is really cute and surprisingly wholesome.

edit: also jesus fuck these chapter titles
 
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