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Dragon Harem Quest - Or: Saying You Were Gay Wasn't The Conversation-Ender You Hoped For

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Unbanshee said:
You guys do remember that we never got the lair actually cleaned up before we started looking for the lamp, right? Making him reverse it to the state it was before we released him isn't going to do much but use up a wish.
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My read is that we did clean up somewhat as part of sorting through everything to find the lamp.
TheOneMoiderah said:
[X] "I wish for you to turn into a sexy dragon and pretend to be my mate until Mother leaves!"

>pretend

oh honey
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Hey now, there's at least five more husbandos out there, we might not end up with this guy. Even if we do go poly.
 
I choose to believe Eldingar's attempts to woo people will come across as



Imrix said:
My read is that we did clean up somewhat as part of sorting through everything to find the lamp.
Hey now, there's at least five more husbandos out there, we might not end up with this guy. Even if we do go poly.
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>implying we don't go poly
 
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[X] "I wish for wine! The good stuff, enough for a dragon!"

Time to go full george on this
 
why did no one tell me this was a thing oh yes Omegahugger approves very much

[X] "I wish for wine! The good stuff, enough for a dragon!"
This is a situation that calls for alcohol.
 
[X] "I wish for you to turn into a sexy dragon and pretend to be my mate until Mother leaves!

Oh look Eldingar, there goes the last chance you had to retain any semblance of sanity. Wave to it as it goes by.
 
[X] "I wish for you to doub- trip- quadruple my hoard!"

This gets better and better with every paragraph
 
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ZerbanDaGreat said:
"I'm- who puts a djinn back in the lamp?" the ifrit asks, lofty airs, if not broken, then visibly cracked with sheer bewilderment. "Ten thousand years I've been in that lamp and you want to stuff me back in because I'm inconvenient? Piss off."
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God I legit love this, that beneath that polished, seductive presentation there's just this baffled, kinda bemused guy whose go-to isn't like "MONGREL" but "w-wha- nah fuck off m80". His knee-jerk is kinda crass but genuine y'know? A sorta lack of poise as he's confronted with the Everything that is Eldingar.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
Your own breath hits the pile of gold and everything comes apart. Lightning flashes, thunder booms in the confined space, and it goes up as if someone planted a bomb at the very heart of it. Every single piece goes flying off in a different direction, gleaming golden shrapnel pelting your scaly hide like hailstones. The jingle of coin and crown and jewels and precious magic items bouncing off the walls alone is enough to be earsplitting. You just stand there, frozen solid, wide-eyed, unable to breathe as your precious hoard is spread across every inch of your lair, coins rolling into every nook and cranny. And the heart of it all, the clump that took your breath directly - a sad, steaming, slagged pile of half-molten gold.

You clap your hands over your horned scalp, fall to your knees, and make a noise somewhere between a mewl, a sob and a squeak, so high-pitched even you can barely hear it. This isn't real. None of this is real. It's just a bad dream, one of your usual fantasies about bringing home some magic items turned into a fucking feverish nightmare. There's no way this could have happened literally right before your mother is supposed to show up because that would just... just be unfair. That's not just bad luck that's deliberate, calculated malice from a higher power.
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ZerbanDaGreat said:
You rise with a hellish screech of fury, not so much shifting back into your true form as bursting free of the bonds of your halfway humanoid one with brute strength. Everything's already fucking ruined so fuck it, fuck it, fuck EVERYTHING! You bring both forelegs down in a mighty slam that shakes the spire, launches the loose treasure up into the air again only to fall like gleaming rain, letting out a literally thunderous roar that rattles the gold and shakes dust from the ceiling. You lay about yourself with your claws with reckless abandon, raking ever-deeper gouges in every stony surface within reach as the ifrit evades you again and again, sweeping your tail around like a colossal whip. Something cracks and splinters - the wagons of food, fuck it, fuck it, that's just typical for today! You pick up the one closest to you and throw it at the ifrit just because it's there, and it shatters impressively in a spray of salt and spice.

It's not like everything can get double-ruined. In a way it actually feels better to make it worse.
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Mmmaaaaan on the one hand this is funny 'cause humor is tragedy happening to someone else but God I do super feel for the big dumb draggy. Just that feeling when you're angry and get clumsy and then "oh no you made everything worse". It's a nice bit of serious-face character stuff actually mixed in with the comedy, Eldingar really comes across as someone who's like...hrm. He didn't just settle into his current life I guess? Like he seems like this genuinely touched a few really raw nerves, like this is the kind of thing that's happened before. Which brings to mind the idea that he's tried or, at least, made some kind of an effort to be more Useful but doesn't seem to have been able to manage it well? Like he tries to Do A Thing but instead he just fucks it up and eventually it became easier to just sit in his room and stop trying.

Hrm.

Might be reading too much into it but it's interesting to note that dragons here seem really social. The OP talks about how his family is deeply invested in, like, the love lives and friendships of their various members and how Eldingar is a bit of a black sheep precisely because he hasn't gotten hitched yet (plus the smooth pivot to "It's fine we'll find you a nice man then!"). Plus the general...Eldingar doesn't. Actually seem to have. Friends?

Like none of the options were for interacting with peers or others who would maybe be in his social group, it was about playing by himself in his personal sandbox or flitting over to annoy someone.


Camellia said:
It was funny at first but then I imagined if someone had tricked me into destroying my set of Indian ink markers so now I completely understand and empathize with his rage. So I'll vote to be nice.
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Yeah about where I am I think.

[X] "I wish for you to clean up my cave!"

It's a bit OOC but vanishing his hoard entirely would feel a little too meanspirited, especially when he's already so obviously distraught. Beyond that I think my major argument against having him pretend to be his boyfriend is that this is a disguise with all the long term durability of soaked rice paper. 'Cause Momma Eldingar's gonna be super suspicious that her standoffish son has just coincidentally managed to find a mate in the time it took her to fly down here and oh what did you say your mother's name was again, and where did you say you're from, and what about your sisters, and they just sent you over here without any gifts.

Mother: "Oh darling, you paid someone to pretend to be a prospective mate?"
Eldingar: "(i didn't pay him)"
Mother: "That's even worse precious, now it's just charity."

Imrix said:
I suspect you're overestimating how much composure and consideration Eldingar has right now, just a wee bit :V
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Expanding on this (not for you I mean, but this is a good jumping off point 'cause I'm too lazy to tag everyone who was doing it) but as a general rule write-in options that try to cover every eventuality and ones that, like, rules lawyer shit for an ideal outcome are generally gonna get shot down or ignored by the QM since it rather defeats the point.
 
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[X] "I wish for you to clean up my cave!"
If this has a chance of saving our poor, poor gold, then I'm willing to give it a shot!

inb4 Eldingar gets thrown out as non-combustible garbage
 
[X] "I wish for wine! The good stuff, enough for a dragon!"

Watched. So when do we encounter a strapping young Werewolf with issues?
 
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