Star Wars Episode VII Rewrite: The Screaming Citadel (Scriptfic)

[KidTau]

STAR WARS EPISODE VII REWRITE PROJECT
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WHAT THIS IS ABOUT

A few months back I decided I was going to give this whole: 'Being a professional writer' thing a try. To that end I signed up to a copywriting course, I bought myself a "Teach Yourself" book called Complete Screenwriting Course, and I set up an online presence under the name: GeeDeeWrites. But the thing about having the online presence is that you have to actually, you know, write stuff. And so, I came up with some stuff to write.

The idea behind this thread is thus: I will attempt to write a sequel to Return of the Jedi using the lessons included in the aforementioned screenwriting book, chapter by chapter, scene by scene. I will also, where applicable, include quotes from the relevant chapter of the study book, and how "real" writers apply them to their professional work.

WHAT THIS IS NOT ABOUT

I chose an Episode 7 rewrite because I think that because of the circumstances that JJ Abrams et al found themselves in there's a lot to talk about from a "craft of writing" perspective. I don't want this to become a thread about how the Sequel Trilogy ruined our childhoods or whatever. Seriously. Don't.

With the preamble out of the way, let's get started.

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The key to writing your script is finding your spark... most sparks can be summarised with the question: What If

Click to shrink...

When JJ Abrams had to write the first movie in the Sequel Trilogy he had to find a question, a hook, to draw the viewer in. He also had the additional problem of having to set the foundations for two sequels, and on top of that had to reassure the fans of the largest franchise in human history that something they loved was in safe hands. Luckily, we do not have to worry about most of the latter. What we will do instead is focus this fanfic around two questions. The first will be the overarching question that will drive the entire series, which I will leave for you, dear reader, to identify. The second will be the specific question that will act as the throughline for this specific script. Luckily, as we have chosen Star Wars as our subject matter, I can post the opening Title Crawl for the movie and have the Question included therein. So, ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy. (note: mobile phone usage is not permitted during the viewing of this film.)

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LUKE SKYWALKER HAS VANISHED!

In the wake of the FALL OF THE EMPIRE, the NEW REPUBLIC has RISEN. And yet the threat has not vanished! The Imperial Remnant fled into the Unknown Regions and regrouped as the secretive and deadly FIRST ORDER. And now, LUKE SKYWALKER - GRANDMASTER of the JEDI ORDER – went undercover into the Unknown Regions searching for the answer to the question left behind with each scorched planet, with each population vanished.

What is the Screaming Citadel?​

 

[KidTau]

Space. An endless field of stars. We hear something like a HIGH PITCHED SCREAM and TURN. We FEEL A RUMBLING. SUDDENLY, a MOBILE SPACE STATION -- THE JAKKU SYSTEM PORT -- JUTS out of hyperspace. We follow it as it weaves its way through real space, before settling in an ASTEROID FIELD.
A FEW TENSE SECONDS PASS, then A STAR DESTROYER OF IMMENSE SIZE JUTS out of hyperspace, searching, slowly searching.

CUT TO:​

INT. JAKKU SYSTEM PORT COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT

Inside a Star Trekkian bridge room. The commander, LOR SAN TEKKA tries desperately to exude an aura of command, but we can see that it is failing. The entire crew looks terrified and pale - the effect of three days running with almost no sleep.

CMNDR LOR SAN TEKKA
Go silent.
The crew begins to turn off equipment. First the lights dim, then turn off completely. We hear a soft hum as the shields are powered down and then a loud CLICK. The station is powered down almost completely. The only thing left is the life support. One of the crew whispers:

CREW MEMBER
Please. Will of the Force please.​

The STAR DESTROYER crawls through the asteroid field, so close it eclipses the window. The crew member continues to pray. The Commander and his second in command wait and desperately hope they have not made a mistake.

They haven't.

The STAR DESTROYER CRAWLS to the other side. A blue flash as its MASSIVE ENGINES flare up and it quickly hurries to the other side of the system. The whole crew begins clapping with joy, laughing, hollering. The Commanders second-in-command half-heartedly yells at them, but she is as deliriously happy as they are.

LOR SAN TEKKA
(laughing)
You guys did well. Give it ten minutes then bring back the systems. Lieutenant?
(The lieutenant nods)
I want you to plot us a way out of this field and then I want a you to prepare us for hyperspace. We're heading to the Republic.​

The Lieutenant begins slowly bringing the power back online. Then, we hear the CREAKING of metal. The crew LEANS FORWARD.

LOR SAN TEKKA
(angry)
I told you wait ten minutes!

LIEUTENANT
Sir, it's not me!
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The Lieutenant raises his arms to show that he's not pressing any buttons. The ship suddenly SPINS AROUND. In the windows we see an EVEN LARGER STATION in the distance, SURROUNDED BY STAR DESTROYERS.

SECOND-IN-COMMAND
By the Whills... They've found us!
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The FIRST ORDER STATION opens, a yawning maw ready to swallow. Red light flashes across the View Screen. The crew feels as the ship is DRAWN FORWARD.

SECOND-IN-COMMAND
Sir, we're in a tractor beam. There's no way to escape.​

Lor San Tekka closes his eyes and breathes in deep. When he opens them, his spine is strong with manufactured steel.

LOR SAN TEKKA
Get the civilians into their quarters, inform the security staff that they need to be armed and ready. Colonel Darr?
(the Second-In-Command nods)
Let's head to the docking station.
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