- Location
- Here and There and Back When
winslow is what brockton bay would be, if worm was a highschool au
Sanctioned (Splintered Reboot; QAylor Crack Quest)
- Thread starter Alivaril
- Start date
Powerofmind
In Madness Fallen
- Location
- United States
For a high school I'm almost surprised it's not worse. I live in a fancy suburb and our township's high school is nicknamed is heroin high. There was a stabbing in the neighborhood elementary school.
- Location
- United States
I'm always never sure how much to believe when I read about the horrors of public school in in fiction, because I live in north Virginia where the schools are almost all fancy to some degree. However, there are some utterly wretched stories on our 'Earth-Aleph' planet. For Earth-Bet? In the city the nation has essentially abandoned? Winslow is completely plausible.
Last edited:
- Location
- usa
Yeah, but mentally, she's 8-11 year old Emma who presumably was a decent person back then and now is having to live with a paralyzed body due to the sins of her mentally older self. It's no different than you getting body swapped with someone who is a criminal and should be punished for their actions, but instead you're punished instead for their crimes because you're occupying the criminal's body.
Kai Merah
Hound Hearted Hedonist
- Location
- Somewhere in the corners of my imagination
I'm sure QA can make a friend who can help with that! And friends help friends right?
Frescopino
(Verified Air Freshener)
- Location
- The Pit of Hate
I have never been happier to see a person suffer the loss of almost ten years of her life.
And I probably will never be again.
I hope.
Anyway: thanks, Danny, for the idea! A Friend that can be put inside a person would be perfect to let our disabled friend walk again!
And I probably will never be again.
I hope.
Anyway: thanks, Danny, for the idea! A Friend that can be put inside a person would be perfect to let our disabled friend walk again!
We only know about four from canon, but Brockton Bay has 350,000 people in it. There's got to be a few more; my hometown has a third as many people and it has at least that many.
I love PHO segments in Worm fics. Also, yeah, Winslow IS too awful to be believed but with the lack of funding and the Cape-politics and the gangs, it would be bad either way. At this point I think the people in charge are just trying to stay afloat or pass responsibility.
I feel pretty bad for New!Emma. She wakes up years older, half paralyzed, and her best friend is gone/doesn't remember her/doesn't care because she's not a host.
Also this psychopath keeps sneaking into her room at night and talking about predators or some other bullshit.
Frescopino
(Verified Air Freshener)
- Location
- The Pit of Hate
On one thing you are absolutely wrong, and I think it's the thing that makes this whole situation into a slight positive: we opted to try and be with Emma if she lost any memories of recent events. And oh boy has she. Depending on the sort of kid she was, she may even be of help in sorting
Emma can go in two directions: the right one (assuming Taylor is gone and nothing can bring her back) or the blatant lie (thinking she can reawaken Taylor's memories by staying with her), but on our end we already expressed the will to try and mend the relationship.
Sinsystems
Patron Librarian
Judging by how Emma likely has a bud from Sophia I am all in favor of spending as much time around her as possible, since not only will it result in some positive emotional development for QA but it can also be seen as an older sister helping to raise a new child by how coaches Emma on using the powers I bet that she has now.
Also on the subject of Sophia I am curious as to what memories she has lost, since depending on what they were she might no longer be as much of a bitch as she used to be.
Also on the subject of Sophia I am curious as to what memories she has lost, since depending on what they were she might no longer be as much of a bitch as she used to be.
So has Emma triggered despite being paralyzed?
Frescopino
(Verified Air Freshener)
- Location
- The Pit of Hate
There's nothing to suggest she has triggered, and why would being paralyzed influence shard connections anyway?
:lol And the actual cape avoids notice. Am curious about who/why though...
And of course QA is the best at raising children.
Nixeu
Lord of Madness, Harbinger of Llamas
- Location
- Your nightmares.
Northern Virginia has a lot of government employees and computer tech companies, as the area is where a decent chunk of the internet's hardware, particularly for the East Coast, is located (for whatever reason), and there are a lot of major military bases and government offices in the area (the Pentagon, USGS main offices, Norfolk Naval Base, and probably more I don't know of). So yeah, it's not that surprising that the schools there are good, even the public ones.
I don't think it's a bud. I'm guessing she's the preferred new host that Phantasm, Sophia's Shard, mentioned was already taken by Perfection.
- Location
- A single human dimension
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This turned out to be sufficiently silly that I feel comfortable linking it here: Alivaril's Perfectly Ordinary Snippet Corner
- Location
- Russia
You don't understand - it is not robots was made to Scout the space hulk, it is space hulk appearing because robots were made
Assembler
Rocking the life
Immaculata is the Catholic school (except it's only fanon that makes it a Catholic school, in canon it's just a school for rich kids, though the name makes it very believable that it's a Catholic school). Arcadia, Immaculata, Clarendon, and Winslow were the first four Brockton Bay schools Regent found with a Google search, but that doesn't mean there aren't more.
2.5: Montage
- Location
- A single human dimension
- Pronouns
- She/Her
QM's Note: I stupidly used the SV editor for the first two versions of this update, got distracted both times, and had it eaten both times. Those were not my finest days. Still, at least it's done an excellent job of teaching me to use Google Docs religiously even if I do have to go back and format everything later.
Mostly beta-read by @Nixeu and @Vebyast.
[x] Grudgingly let Danny guide you through making cuter Friends and Guardians no matter how frustrating it might be.
-[x] Danny is making things too difficult; draw your Friends instead. You have plenty of practice guiding your hosts in such.
"If you really think it'd make that much of a difference, I suppose I can comply. Still, even ignoring the additional problems with my computer — namely, that I no longer know the password or passwords and cannot access it as a result — you are making this far more difficult than it really needs to be. May I have a..."
You searchyour Host's memory for the right word and frown. Pen, pencil, marker, crayon, other?
"...Writing and/or drawing implement?" you finish.
"There should be some in your desk. Er, the one up in your bedroom. Are you sure?"
"Rarely."
That is, after all, the sign of a good scientific mind. Few things are ever certain; they tend to have loopholes, especially once you push enough energy into them.
A few minutes later, you sit at Host's desk while carefully drawing an exterior outline of your first Friend proposal. Danny Hebert lurks over your shoulder, judging your work.
"I don't remember you ever being this good at drawing."
It isn't difficult to mentally rearrange Danny's words into the proper question format: "When did you gain the ability to draw?" Since you don't know what body language would appear suspicious, it's effortless to avoid invoking it. Well, probably. You're not sure why you look away and toward your work, nor why you feel vaguely guilty. Danny was the one who was neglectful! He's the one who should feel bad!
"Judging by the circumstances leading to my loss of memories, I didn't share quite a few things with you. I can draw now. Does it matter if I can do that because of powers or if I could do it before as well?"
As expected, the reference to Danny's own neglect helps draw his attention away from you and onto his own failings. Part of you might even be feeling a little sorry for him.
"...I suppose not. Will you be upset if I reject something after you spend so much time drawing it?"
"Not prohibitively so. I would rather have good Friends than rushed ones."
It takes around an hour to sketch your first Friend proposal. You think you could manage it in a quarter or half that time now that you have a fairly good grasp of how to manipulate the drawing implement. Strangely enough, even though you can't effectively access Host's memories of acquiring the skill, you're still able to utilize the skill itself and even improve it.
After Danny finishes gawking at your sketch, he shakes his head in rejection.
"Tentacles are banned until further notice. Just... no. Stingers are probably a bad idea, too."
"But they're so useful!"
"No means no. I'll consider it when your attempts at 'cute' don't look like mini-Cthulhu."
You try to search Host's memories for the organism in question. All you get is some jumbled excuse for a fictional language.
"There's an idea..." you muse.
"Absolutely not."
You frown, plant both fists on Host's hips, and direct the full force of Host's displeasure at Danny Hebert. The full force of your own would reduce him to subatomic particles scattered across multiple universes, but you're never allowed to do that sort of thing anyway.
"Daaaaad, I meant the language! I should make sure my Friends have a way to communicate across models. It'd be a shame to have them fight. Or are you going to object to that, too?"
You don't understand why Danny Hebert's face only reflects increased amusement in response to your indignation. Contrition is the condition he should be displaying. His incorrect reaction even delays his response by several seconds as Danny struggles to control his breathing patterns.
"No, that's — snerk — that's fine," he manages.
"It'd better be," you threaten quietly. If he's that unreasonable, you see few reasons to continue listening to him.
You don't understand why the implied boycott threat provokes full-fledged laughter. The situation is made even more confusing by Host's own rising amusement. Human laughter is apparently a memetic hazard. At least it's one you can currently keep under control.
Probably.
"Why the bat wings? Why not feathered ones?"
"I don't want to reroute their entire muscular system just for flight. Feathered wings take more effort."
"...I'll take your word for it. Still, maybe no flying or gliding creatures until later? Making them cute would have its own style."
"Understood. I suppose it would make their movements predictable anyway."
"Taylor, that looks like the unholy lovechild of Satan and a badger. No. Actually, just skip curved horns completely in the future. I don't think you can get them to look natural until later."
You pout, but obediently brush your drawing onto the growing pile of rejects. The repeated refusals are less frustrating than you'd initially expected. Partly because it's a surprisingly fun challenge, partly because Danny Hebert's exasperation is rather satisfying. You're forcing him to be a responsible parent whether he likes it or not. Which, well, he might actually enjoy. You're beginning to worry about human self-diagnostic capabilities; why would he ignore an activity that increases average happiness?
"...Why specify the presence of love? I thought it was a biological requirement for human breeding. Or heavy encouragement, anyway."
Danny stares at you for an uncomfortably long time before slowly shaking his head.
"Not... always. I'll tell you when you're older. Just don't go into the city alone, okay?"
I am older than your entire species. What more do you want from me?
You can't muster up anything stronger than dull indignation. His refusal to share information is irritating, but you are deliberately withholding context capable of changing his opinion. And anyway, it was followed by a legitimate attempt to keep Host safe. You suspect the two are related.
"Okay."
"New rule: nothing with more than four legs."
"Does that count arms?"
"No arms unless it's your 'caretaker,'" Danny orders firmly. "And I think you should make that a biped if you can help it. Arms and hands would be creepy on, say, a dog."
"Understood."
"...Why did you use crayon to color the tips of its spikes green? It really stands out on an otherwise monochrome pencil sketch."
"For the venom!"
"Next," Danny sighs immediately.
"But—"
"Taylor, you want to bring a toxic porcupine-lizard thing into a populated city with curious civilians. Strangers are going to want to pet anything cute you make, to say nothing of what happens if it wants to explore. Keep that in mind for future models."
"...Yes, Dad."
"It's... closer, I guess, but why does this one have mandibles? It gives a disturbingly alien appearance to what could've been a cute animal."
"Communication, carrying objects, and to help consume prey. I suppose I could give them some sort of electric bite to help with that last part, but then I'd need to—"
"Taylor, no."
"You didn't even let me finish!"
"Can't you just stop trying to make some sort of hybrid thing? It's..." Danny visibly struggles with his sentence composition. "It just doesn't look right. Take traits from different mammals if you really want to, but maybe you shouldn't mix categories? Cats and dogs are cute, lizards can look 'cool,' hornets and bees can be scary, but mixtures of them bleed into horrifying."
You wrinkle your nose and mentally browse through the listing. It's easier than it often is; you're sorting through your own biological database, not Host's.
"So human standards of 'proper aesthetics' are based off similarity?"
"...Close enough?" Danny hazarded. "It's a good start, anyway."
"I'll try it next."
You pass your latest sketch to Danny and wait for the inevitable rejection. Or likely rejection, anyway. You're feeling pretty good about this one. You just had to mentally switch to thinking of it as an assassin or infiltrator instead of a bodyguard. The result is a Friend that's still capable of protecting you, but looks like an innocuous ball of white fluff with huge eyes to any casual observer.
"...It looks good," Danny begins slowly. "A lot like a rather poofy sheep, really. But does it have anything disqualifying hiding under that fur? A contact poison, for example?"
"Daaaaad, that wasn't part of the deal!" youwhine object. A moment passes in silence before you decide to ignore the bleedover from Host. "You said it had to look harmless and adorable. Conditions fulfilled. Are you happy?"
Your frown deepens as you reflect upon your final question. Obviously, he's not happy, so why would you need to ask that?
Danny drags one hand over his face, straining the skin as it goes. It's a little gross to watch, honestly.
"Should've seen this coming. Taylor, what other surprises are in this one?"
"Not until you clear or reject it," you say stubbornly.
"...It's not going to come out of fights covered in the blood of its enemies, is it? Because nobody would be able to forget that, originally cute or not. And those teeth don't look sharp," Danny drags one finger across the appropriate part of your sketch, "but I'm starting to learn that's not really something that would stop you. It's a bad sign when poison is one of the least horrifying parts of your arsenal."
You mentally edit the design to remove their ability to store biological samples for you by eating them. After another moment of consideration, you also remove the ability for their teeth to rapidly rotate and instead add the ability to shoot hollow toxin-filled teeth at their foes.
"...No. No it will not," you say blandly.
"Taylor," Danny says strangely. You think it was supposed to be grumpy, maybe?
"What? They're fine. Red on white would mess up the deliberate association with innocence anyway."
Danny shakes his head and sighs.
"Alright, I suppose this one looks okay. Whether it'd stay that way is another story. Now what surprises does this one have?"
Host's lips stretch in an involuntary expression of happiness. You don't try to stop them. Danny finally approved something.
"Those itteh-bitteh—" You pause and revise what you were going to say. Deviating from standardized communication is only acceptable inside your own system. "Their little feet have folded webs between the toes; I took the idea from cats since nobody objects to them. They'll have gills underneath hidden by the fur, but nobody will ever see those. If they're hurt, chemicals in their blood will make their fur stiffen and turn into quills and you aren't allowed to complain because that's a matter of personal survival by then."
Danny holds up both hands in what you'd expect to be an overenthusiastic greeting had human body language not been strange. "I wasn't going to say anything. I really don't want to console you over a lost pet."
You squint suspiciously at Danny before switching to the next point. You're not sure if he's lying, but so long as he behaves himself...
"Retractable climbing claws and yes, their limb shape is wrong for using them as good weapons. Purr-based echolocation—"
"Nix that one," Danny says quickly. "You don't want it purring when fighting, that's a little scary."
You have Host express unhappiness, but otherwise comply. Their senses should still be good enough to fight with and you can use the freed space for a little more cunning.
"The last important thing is that they can fire their teeth, shift new ones into the appropriate spots for launch, and regrow all of them within a few hours. Also, the teeth are filled with a temporary contact paralytic and I know you seem to think those are still scary, but they have to have something to defend themselves!"
Honestly, you think Danny might've missed the part where fear is an instinctive reaction to something dangerous. You want your Friends to be dangerous. What's the point of even having defenders if they're ineffectual?
You open your mouth to introduce this topic when Danny holds up one hand with its palm facing you. You're pretty sure that's supposed to be the sign for stop, but Host doesn't seem to think that's quite appropriate in this situation? Why do humans use the same gesture for multiple signals? Do they want to be misunderstood?
"I wasn't going to say anything. This is supposed to be small, right?"
"About the size of a tribble," you confirm before stopping and trying to determine what that even is. Some sort of invasive parasite living in space? How would that even work? Any other celestial bodies nearby don't have conditions conductive to growing complex life. Simple, sure, but that's easy.
"About the size of my head," you try instead.
"Then go ahead. If you can carry a fuzzy protector in a backpack, I'll feel a lot better about eventually letting you go out alone."
"I could make a fuzzy protector that is a backpack," you offer magnanimously, still pleased by your successful Friend proposal.
Danny shudders rudely.
"That is way too close to the sort of thing Bonesaw does. No biological accessories or clothes, okay? Please, Taylor, just stick to pets. And no, accessories that are themselves pets are still banned."
You close Host's mouth and nod grudgingly. It's not as though you can't have future Friend models manually cling to you. So long as they're closer to tagalongs than something truly worn, you won't technically be breaking Danny's arbitrary restrictions.
"Dad!" you call from the basement door, hugging the patriarch of the Fluffy Gamma line to yourself. "I'm done making His Lordship Fluffy the First!"
Why Host felt Fluffy I needed some manner of title, you're not sure, but also not one to complain. At least the associated numbering should make them easier to track.
After several seconds go by without a response, you have Host express displeasure and move further into the floor. Fluffy I wiggles just enough in your arms to scan your surroundings, but not enough to actually let him slide toward the floor. Just as planned. Still, you don't want to resist his desires when the cute little assassin turns huge, soulful eyes upon you. Host's body obediently sets the fuzzball down on the floor and lets him explore the surrounding area.
After about two minutes of searching, you find an ink-on-paper note attached to a white metal box via a round magnet.
You're just beginning your search for any hidden messages when a conspicuous ding-dong reverberates through the house. Fluffy immediately jumps off from the very top of a nearby chair and rushes toward you, already prepared to defend his creator from whatever unidentified threat could have produced the unfamiliar noise. You spend a few seconds on incomprehensible mouth-noises before remembering why Fluffy was displaying his loyalty in the first place.
Instructions from Host are conflicting on the correct course of action. Open the front door, but don't answer said door? Some sort of reason it'd be socially unacceptable to ignore it? You're not sure. Ultimately, you pick up Fluffy I and move toward the front of Host's house. If the individual at the door is hostile, you have an assassin-fluffball and aren't afraid to sic him on foes.
Opening the door, you find yourself looking up at Efficiency's host. Efficiency didn't even say he was within range! Rude. At any rate, the human is lacking any visible weaponry, but you somehow doubt the folded mass of metal across his back is for decoration. Assuming, of course, that his motivated armor does not have concealed weaponry of its own. Given Efficiency's recent obsession with optimizing possible engineering layouts, you don't believe that to be a safe assumption.
The gaze of Efficiency turns — the gaze of Efficiency's host angles away from Host's face and toward Fluffy I. The Fluffy patriarch blinks innocently back at him. You feel the shared urge to show off your new Friend, but should you? Efficiency isn't much for small talk and his hosts are seldom any better. You aren't too proud to admit you want admiration for your successful creation, something your visitors would be terrible at providing.
Or... most of your visitors. You believe Replicate's host is currently monitoring the proceedings, but to be quite honest, it's hard to be certain.
<Replicate?>
<://AUTOMATIC/DO_NOT_DISTURB/BUSY/>
...Hmm. Odd, but okay. You wonder what project could possibly be using all of Replicate's available processing; even :Newborn: should have more than they'll ever need. Maybe Replicate granted her host self-replication abilities this Cycle? You know from experience that tracking such powers can get out of hand in rather short order. Analyzing previous memories during off-peak hours is the only reliable way to compensate. Alternatively, Replicate could've been naughty last cycle and been punished by :Mother: for her misdeeds.
[] As Danny Hebert is off ensuring his underlings could survive his absence, you should not be speaking with outsiders. Apologize for the inconvenience, shut the door, and go back to testing Fluffy I.
[] Give in to your desires. Show off Fluffy I, Patriarch of the Fluffy Gamma line.
-[] Focus on how he's actually cute this time rather than his overall capabilities.
-[] You managed to fit in a bunch of nice functions, including toxic teeth and gills and retractable climbing claws and...
[] Write-in
Mostly beta-read by @Nixeu and @Vebyast.
[x] Grudgingly let Danny guide you through making cuter Friends and Guardians no matter how frustrating it might be.
-[x] Danny is making things too difficult; draw your Friends instead. You have plenty of practice guiding your hosts in such.
"If you really think it'd make that much of a difference, I suppose I can comply. Still, even ignoring the additional problems with my computer — namely, that I no longer know the password or passwords and cannot access it as a result — you are making this far more difficult than it really needs to be. May I have a..."
You search
"...Writing and/or drawing implement?" you finish.
"There should be some in your desk. Er, the one up in your bedroom. Are you sure?"
"Rarely."
That is, after all, the sign of a good scientific mind. Few things are ever certain; they tend to have loopholes, especially once you push enough energy into them.
A few minutes later, you sit at Host's desk while carefully drawing an exterior outline of your first Friend proposal. Danny Hebert lurks over your shoulder, judging your work.
"I don't remember you ever being this good at drawing."
It isn't difficult to mentally rearrange Danny's words into the proper question format: "When did you gain the ability to draw?" Since you don't know what body language would appear suspicious, it's effortless to avoid invoking it. Well, probably. You're not sure why you look away and toward your work, nor why you feel vaguely guilty. Danny was the one who was neglectful! He's the one who should feel bad!
"Judging by the circumstances leading to my loss of memories, I didn't share quite a few things with you. I can draw now. Does it matter if I can do that because of powers or if I could do it before as well?"
As expected, the reference to Danny's own neglect helps draw his attention away from you and onto his own failings. Part of you might even be feeling a little sorry for him.
"...I suppose not. Will you be upset if I reject something after you spend so much time drawing it?"
"Not prohibitively so. I would rather have good Friends than rushed ones."
It takes around an hour to sketch your first Friend proposal. You think you could manage it in a quarter or half that time now that you have a fairly good grasp of how to manipulate the drawing implement. Strangely enough, even though you can't effectively access Host's memories of acquiring the skill, you're still able to utilize the skill itself and even improve it.
After Danny finishes gawking at your sketch, he shakes his head in rejection.
"Tentacles are banned until further notice. Just... no. Stingers are probably a bad idea, too."
"But they're so useful!"
"No means no. I'll consider it when your attempts at 'cute' don't look like mini-Cthulhu."
You try to search Host's memories for the organism in question. All you get is some jumbled excuse for a fictional language.
"There's an idea..." you muse.
"Absolutely not."
You frown, plant both fists on Host's hips, and direct the full force of Host's displeasure at Danny Hebert. The full force of your own would reduce him to subatomic particles scattered across multiple universes, but you're never allowed to do that sort of thing anyway.
"Daaaaad, I meant the language! I should make sure my Friends have a way to communicate across models. It'd be a shame to have them fight. Or are you going to object to that, too?"
You don't understand why Danny Hebert's face only reflects increased amusement in response to your indignation. Contrition is the condition he should be displaying. His incorrect reaction even delays his response by several seconds as Danny struggles to control his breathing patterns.
"No, that's — snerk — that's fine," he manages.
"It'd better be," you threaten quietly. If he's that unreasonable, you see few reasons to continue listening to him.
You don't understand why the implied boycott threat provokes full-fledged laughter. The situation is made even more confusing by Host's own rising amusement. Human laughter is apparently a memetic hazard. At least it's one you can currently keep under control.
Probably.
"Why the bat wings? Why not feathered ones?"
"I don't want to reroute their entire muscular system just for flight. Feathered wings take more effort."
"...I'll take your word for it. Still, maybe no flying or gliding creatures until later? Making them cute would have its own style."
"Understood. I suppose it would make their movements predictable anyway."
"Taylor, that looks like the unholy lovechild of Satan and a badger. No. Actually, just skip curved horns completely in the future. I don't think you can get them to look natural until later."
You pout, but obediently brush your drawing onto the growing pile of rejects. The repeated refusals are less frustrating than you'd initially expected. Partly because it's a surprisingly fun challenge, partly because Danny Hebert's exasperation is rather satisfying. You're forcing him to be a responsible parent whether he likes it or not. Which, well, he might actually enjoy. You're beginning to worry about human self-diagnostic capabilities; why would he ignore an activity that increases average happiness?
"...Why specify the presence of love? I thought it was a biological requirement for human breeding. Or heavy encouragement, anyway."
Danny stares at you for an uncomfortably long time before slowly shaking his head.
"Not... always. I'll tell you when you're older. Just don't go into the city alone, okay?"
I am older than your entire species. What more do you want from me?
You can't muster up anything stronger than dull indignation. His refusal to share information is irritating, but you are deliberately withholding context capable of changing his opinion. And anyway, it was followed by a legitimate attempt to keep Host safe. You suspect the two are related.
"Okay."
"New rule: nothing with more than four legs."
"Does that count arms?"
"No arms unless it's your 'caretaker,'" Danny orders firmly. "And I think you should make that a biped if you can help it. Arms and hands would be creepy on, say, a dog."
"Understood."
"...Why did you use crayon to color the tips of its spikes green? It really stands out on an otherwise monochrome pencil sketch."
"For the venom!"
"Next," Danny sighs immediately.
"But—"
"Taylor, you want to bring a toxic porcupine-lizard thing into a populated city with curious civilians. Strangers are going to want to pet anything cute you make, to say nothing of what happens if it wants to explore. Keep that in mind for future models."
"...Yes, Dad."
"It's... closer, I guess, but why does this one have mandibles? It gives a disturbingly alien appearance to what could've been a cute animal."
"Communication, carrying objects, and to help consume prey. I suppose I could give them some sort of electric bite to help with that last part, but then I'd need to—"
"Taylor, no."
"You didn't even let me finish!"
"Can't you just stop trying to make some sort of hybrid thing? It's..." Danny visibly struggles with his sentence composition. "It just doesn't look right. Take traits from different mammals if you really want to, but maybe you shouldn't mix categories? Cats and dogs are cute, lizards can look 'cool,' hornets and bees can be scary, but mixtures of them bleed into horrifying."
You wrinkle your nose and mentally browse through the listing. It's easier than it often is; you're sorting through your own biological database, not Host's.
"So human standards of 'proper aesthetics' are based off similarity?"
"...Close enough?" Danny hazarded. "It's a good start, anyway."
"I'll try it next."
You pass your latest sketch to Danny and wait for the inevitable rejection. Or likely rejection, anyway. You're feeling pretty good about this one. You just had to mentally switch to thinking of it as an assassin or infiltrator instead of a bodyguard. The result is a Friend that's still capable of protecting you, but looks like an innocuous ball of white fluff with huge eyes to any casual observer.
"...It looks good," Danny begins slowly. "A lot like a rather poofy sheep, really. But does it have anything disqualifying hiding under that fur? A contact poison, for example?"
"Daaaaad, that wasn't part of the deal!" you
Your frown deepens as you reflect upon your final question. Obviously, he's not happy, so why would you need to ask that?
Danny drags one hand over his face, straining the skin as it goes. It's a little gross to watch, honestly.
"Should've seen this coming. Taylor, what other surprises are in this one?"
"Not until you clear or reject it," you say stubbornly.
"...It's not going to come out of fights covered in the blood of its enemies, is it? Because nobody would be able to forget that, originally cute or not. And those teeth don't look sharp," Danny drags one finger across the appropriate part of your sketch, "but I'm starting to learn that's not really something that would stop you. It's a bad sign when poison is one of the least horrifying parts of your arsenal."
You mentally edit the design to remove their ability to store biological samples for you by eating them. After another moment of consideration, you also remove the ability for their teeth to rapidly rotate and instead add the ability to shoot hollow toxin-filled teeth at their foes.
"...No. No it will not," you say blandly.
"Taylor," Danny says strangely. You think it was supposed to be grumpy, maybe?
"What? They're fine. Red on white would mess up the deliberate association with innocence anyway."
Danny shakes his head and sighs.
"Alright, I suppose this one looks okay. Whether it'd stay that way is another story. Now what surprises does this one have?"
Host's lips stretch in an involuntary expression of happiness. You don't try to stop them. Danny finally approved something.
"Those itteh-bitteh—" You pause and revise what you were going to say. Deviating from standardized communication is only acceptable inside your own system. "Their little feet have folded webs between the toes; I took the idea from cats since nobody objects to them. They'll have gills underneath hidden by the fur, but nobody will ever see those. If they're hurt, chemicals in their blood will make their fur stiffen and turn into quills and you aren't allowed to complain because that's a matter of personal survival by then."
Danny holds up both hands in what you'd expect to be an overenthusiastic greeting had human body language not been strange. "I wasn't going to say anything. I really don't want to console you over a lost pet."
You squint suspiciously at Danny before switching to the next point. You're not sure if he's lying, but so long as he behaves himself...
"Retractable climbing claws and yes, their limb shape is wrong for using them as good weapons. Purr-based echolocation—"
"Nix that one," Danny says quickly. "You don't want it purring when fighting, that's a little scary."
You have Host express unhappiness, but otherwise comply. Their senses should still be good enough to fight with and you can use the freed space for a little more cunning.
"The last important thing is that they can fire their teeth, shift new ones into the appropriate spots for launch, and regrow all of them within a few hours. Also, the teeth are filled with a temporary contact paralytic and I know you seem to think those are still scary, but they have to have something to defend themselves!"
Honestly, you think Danny might've missed the part where fear is an instinctive reaction to something dangerous. You want your Friends to be dangerous. What's the point of even having defenders if they're ineffectual?
You open your mouth to introduce this topic when Danny holds up one hand with its palm facing you. You're pretty sure that's supposed to be the sign for stop, but Host doesn't seem to think that's quite appropriate in this situation? Why do humans use the same gesture for multiple signals? Do they want to be misunderstood?
"I wasn't going to say anything. This is supposed to be small, right?"
"About the size of a tribble," you confirm before stopping and trying to determine what that even is. Some sort of invasive parasite living in space? How would that even work? Any other celestial bodies nearby don't have conditions conductive to growing complex life. Simple, sure, but that's easy.
"About the size of my head," you try instead.
"Then go ahead. If you can carry a fuzzy protector in a backpack, I'll feel a lot better about eventually letting you go out alone."
"I could make a fuzzy protector that is a backpack," you offer magnanimously, still pleased by your successful Friend proposal.
Danny shudders rudely.
"That is way too close to the sort of thing Bonesaw does. No biological accessories or clothes, okay? Please, Taylor, just stick to pets. And no, accessories that are themselves pets are still banned."
You close Host's mouth and nod grudgingly. It's not as though you can't have future Friend models manually cling to you. So long as they're closer to tagalongs than something truly worn, you won't technically be breaking Danny's arbitrary restrictions.
"Dad!" you call from the basement door, hugging the patriarch of the Fluffy Gamma line to yourself. "I'm done making His Lordship Fluffy the First!"
Why Host felt Fluffy I needed some manner of title, you're not sure, but also not one to complain. At least the associated numbering should make them easier to track.
After several seconds go by without a response, you have Host express displeasure and move further into the floor. Fluffy I wiggles just enough in your arms to scan your surroundings, but not enough to actually let him slide toward the floor. Just as planned. Still, you don't want to resist his desires when the cute little assassin turns huge, soulful eyes upon you. Host's body obediently sets the fuzzball down on the floor and lets him explore the surrounding area.
After about two minutes of searching, you find an ink-on-paper note attached to a white metal box via a round magnet.
Taylor,
I need to head over and make sure the Dockworkers Union doesn't burn down while I'm gone. Please don't leave the house or make anything unapproved until I get back. There's a TV dinner in the fridge.
-Dad
I need to head over and make sure the Dockworkers Union doesn't burn down while I'm gone. Please don't leave the house or make anything unapproved until I get back. There's a TV dinner in the fridge.
-Dad
You're just beginning your search for any hidden messages when a conspicuous ding-dong reverberates through the house. Fluffy immediately jumps off from the very top of a nearby chair and rushes toward you, already prepared to defend his creator from whatever unidentified threat could have produced the unfamiliar noise. You spend a few seconds on incomprehensible mouth-noises before remembering why Fluffy was displaying his loyalty in the first place.
Instructions from Host are conflicting on the correct course of action. Open the front door, but don't answer said door? Some sort of reason it'd be socially unacceptable to ignore it? You're not sure. Ultimately, you pick up Fluffy I and move toward the front of Host's house. If the individual at the door is hostile, you have an assassin-fluffball and aren't afraid to sic him on foes.
Opening the door, you find yourself looking up at Efficiency's host. Efficiency didn't even say he was within range! Rude. At any rate, the human is lacking any visible weaponry, but you somehow doubt the folded mass of metal across his back is for decoration. Assuming, of course, that his motivated armor does not have concealed weaponry of its own. Given Efficiency's recent obsession with optimizing possible engineering layouts, you don't believe that to be a safe assumption.
The gaze of Efficiency turns — the gaze of Efficiency's host angles away from Host's face and toward Fluffy I. The Fluffy patriarch blinks innocently back at him. You feel the shared urge to show off your new Friend, but should you? Efficiency isn't much for small talk and his hosts are seldom any better. You aren't too proud to admit you want admiration for your successful creation, something your visitors would be terrible at providing.
Or... most of your visitors. You believe Replicate's host is currently monitoring the proceedings, but to be quite honest, it's hard to be certain.
<Replicate?>
<://AUTOMATIC/DO_NOT_DISTURB/BUSY/>
...Hmm. Odd, but okay. You wonder what project could possibly be using all of Replicate's available processing; even :Newborn: should have more than they'll ever need. Maybe Replicate granted her host self-replication abilities this Cycle? You know from experience that tracking such powers can get out of hand in rather short order. Analyzing previous memories during off-peak hours is the only reliable way to compensate. Alternatively, Replicate could've been naughty last cycle and been punished by :Mother: for her misdeeds.
[
] Tell Efficiency's host that your parental unit is not home at this time, and as such, you likely should not be talking to strange men who live over water and don't distribute weaponry to children in need. Subsequently shut the door and ignore any further hails.
] Tell Efficiency's host that your parental unit is not home at this time, and as such, you likely should not be talking to strange men who live over water and don't distribute weaponry to children in need. Subsequently shut the door and ignore any further hails.[] As Danny Hebert is off ensuring his underlings could survive his absence, you should not be speaking with outsiders. Apologize for the inconvenience, shut the door, and go back to testing Fluffy I.
[] Give in to your desires. Show off Fluffy I, Patriarch of the Fluffy Gamma line.
-[] Focus on how he's actually cute this time rather than his overall capabilities.
-[] You managed to fit in a bunch of nice functions, including toxic teeth and gills and retractable climbing claws and...
[] Write-in
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Torgamous
Aspiring Gynoid
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Efficiency should appreciate this, right?
- Location
- United States
[X] As Danny Hebert is off ensuring his underlings could survive his absence, you should not be speaking with outsiders. Apologize for the inconvenience, shut the door, and go back to testing Fluffy I.
- Location
- Canada
[x] Give in to your desires. Show off Fluffy I, Patriarch of the Fluffy Gamma line.
-[x] You managed to fit in a bunch of nice functions, including toxic teeth and gills and retractable climbing claws and...
-[x] You managed to fit in a bunch of nice functions, including toxic teeth and gills and retractable climbing claws and...
