I am writing a crossover fic of Worm X Dragonball with an OC pair of main characters (derived mostly from dragonball universe). Both the Dragonball and Worm universes begin at a time point well prior to their canon starting points.
I'm mostly looking for help with how I set up and frame the scenes, as well as suggestions for improving readability for the general audience. My main problems are verbosity and a tendency to info-dump and a tendency to write very densely "cramming too much into my sentences", but i'm sure the occasional continuity mistake or spelling or grammar error slips through so being on the lookout for those is always a plus.
General thrust of the story is a character with a Saiyajin father and a mother of a species I added tries to use space-folding jump-drive tech to escape from Cold Empire space to a boondocks border world (earth) without his destination being detected or traced. The drive Folds space through a multidimensional tear created by the entities and he ends up on Earth Bet instead of Dragonball earth. (Second MC is the ship's AI )
I'd prefer to go through any overhauling and editing that occur as a result of the editing/suggestions before i actually publish it to a thread on here; results in fewer locations to edit, but I do plan on posting this story to sufficient velocity as well.
spacebattles: Jump Drives and Multidimensional Rifts Don't Mix on SpaceBatlles
fanfiction.net: Jump Drives and Multidimensional Rifts Don't Mix on Fanfiction.net
Send me a PM if you are interested.
I'm presuming that it isn't against the rules to link to stories off-site, if this isn't correct, please just let me know that and i'll hold onto the links to share with any prospective betas privately.
I'm mostly looking for help with how I set up and frame the scenes, as well as suggestions for improving readability for the general audience. My main problems are verbosity and a tendency to info-dump and a tendency to write very densely "cramming too much into my sentences", but i'm sure the occasional continuity mistake or spelling or grammar error slips through so being on the lookout for those is always a plus.
General thrust of the story is a character with a Saiyajin father and a mother of a species I added tries to use space-folding jump-drive tech to escape from Cold Empire space to a boondocks border world (earth) without his destination being detected or traced. The drive Folds space through a multidimensional tear created by the entities and he ends up on Earth Bet instead of Dragonball earth. (Second MC is the ship's AI )
I'd prefer to go through any overhauling and editing that occur as a result of the editing/suggestions before i actually publish it to a thread on here; results in fewer locations to edit, but I do plan on posting this story to sufficient velocity as well.
spacebattles: Jump Drives and Multidimensional Rifts Don't Mix on SpaceBatlles
fanfiction.net: Jump Drives and Multidimensional Rifts Don't Mix on Fanfiction.net
Send me a PM if you are interested.
I'm presuming that it isn't against the rules to link to stories off-site, if this isn't correct, please just let me know that and i'll hold onto the links to share with any prospective betas privately.