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Iris is a trans girl who has seemingly run out of hope. When her life ends prematurely, she is offered a second chance in a fantasy world where she can be the person she wants to be - whoever that is.
1.1
Location
Great Khanate of Scotland
Pronouns
She/Her
Hello! Okay, this is what it says on the tin - an isekai novel with a trans girl protagonist. This isn't a mean-spirited deconstruction of the genre, rather this is my attempt to seriously take the concept of escapist wish fulfillment and, instead of a bland male self-insert protagonist, shape it around a trans lesbian protagonist. This concept ended up going to some raw places, so there will be some discussions and depictions of issues trans people face such as transphobia and body dysphoria. I will endeavor to include content warnings.

Also, since this is an isekai, the protagonist is obviously going to end up with a harem of cute girls so eventually there will be explicit sex scenes.

CWs for this chapter: Body dysphoria, self-loathing, transphobia, implied suicidal ideation, and nudity.

Chapter 1

Iris couldn't remember how she died. That was troubling to begin with. She was pretty sure she was dead, though.

"I mean, I could be dreaming," her voice rasped. Ugh, her throat was sore for some reason. That didn't usually happen in dreams, did it?

She was standing in a black void surrounded by drifting fingers of white mist. There was light coming from somewhere, but all it illuminated was the mist and herself. She looked down at her clothes; she was wearing her oversized hoodie and stained jeans. It was kind of a stupid outfit to die in, she thought, as she scratched at her body self-consciously. No, this was all too real and uncomfortable to be a dream.

Then again, it was also too real and uncomfortable to be death. Being dead was supposed to feel like nothing. Iris didn't believe in Heaven or Hell, but this was too normal to be either.

"I haven't been abducted by aliens, have I?" she asked. Maybe that's what that bright light was.

"Not in a manner of speaking, no," said another voice. This voice was much smoother than hers, confident, unmistakably feminine. Iris turned around and froze like a deer in the headlights.

It was an apt metaphor, the first one that came to mind, because the beautiful, naked woman lounging on the couch in front of her had four arms and the head of a wolf.

She was tall, maybe a full head taller than Iris' own six foot one. She was naked, except for a strategically placed loincloth of red silk. Her breasts hung across her chest, full and topped by pink nipples. She was muscled like an athlete; her thighs, casually stretched out in front of her, were thick and powerful; her stomach was flat and chiseled; her four arms were each draped across the back of the couch, and each one had biceps thicker than Iris' thighs.

She was, in short, a goddess.

"You were expecting Madokami, maybe?" the goddess asked, laughter playing on her voice. The way her mouth moved when she spoke was too real for this to be a trick. Iris wasn't sure where to look – her hot body, or the wolf head attached to it.

"This is a lot, man," Iris said to herself. The goddess' smile faded, and she made a soothing gesture with one of her right hands.

"I understand you're probably disoriented, so let me answer some of your questions." She raised another hand, began lifting fingers as she counted. "One: you are dead. I am, genuinely, very sorry about that. You didn't deserve it. Two: I have removed your memories of your death. I feel that they would have been too upsetting for you."

Iris nodded slowly. Okay, her first feeling was correct: she was dead. She tried to wrap her head around it. She'd never have to go to her shitty job again, fine. She wouldn't have to pay rent on her shitty apartment, good. Her family, well, they hated her, so, whatever. Her friends online…they'd miss her. She actually felt bad about that. She'd never wanted anyone to worry about her.

"You're taking this rather well."

"Yeah, I mean…I didn't have much to look forward to, did I?"

The goddess gave her a sympathetic look.

"You might have had everything to look forward to, if you'd lived. That's why it's sad. Don't feel guilty about your friends, though. Mourning is for the living. And besides," she suddenly gave Iris a wolfish grin, "In the fullness of time, you may see them again."

She sounded like she was quoting from something. Iris opened her mouth to ask another question, but the goddess was a step ahead of her, raising a third finger.

"Three: I am your goddess. Not like your patron goddess, more like…your personal goddess. If that makes any sense to you."

"It doesn't, but thanks. I just…don't know why any of this is happening to me," Iris said, the words rushing out.

"Four: you are here because someone appreciates what you went through."

"…appreciates?"

The goddess sighed and lowered her hand.

"Ugh, how do I explain this…? Suffering…it doesn't mean anything. Nothing happens that makes suffering worth it. But your suffering is recognized nevertheless."

"I didn't suffer that much," Iris said lamely, "Not as much as some people. I lived in the first world and—"

The goddess waved her hand.

"Iris, please," she said, the first time she had used Iris' name, "When you're a goddess, you learn that suffering doesn't have equivalence. It's all just…pain. As your personal goddess, I am giving you permission to feel bad for yourself."

"…huh."

Iris thought about it. Really thought about it.

It was freeing, being dead. She didn't have to keep her feelings bottled up to make it through the day. She could finally relax, stop being in survival mode, and take stock of her emotions. And the second she did that, everything came pouring out.

Her family, her job, her shitty apartment, her own body that seemed to hate her and that she hated back because it made her feel disgusting, weak, and helpless. It was enough to make her want to…to…

Iris dropped to her knees and started crying. When she was done—she wasn't sure after how long— her throat was raw from sobbing and tears streaked down her face. She brushed them away with the sleeve of her hoodie and sniffled. It felt like years of bottled-up pain had come welling out. It felt…

"That…that actually felt pretty good," she rasped, then coughed again.

"Crying is good. You're allowed to grieve for yourself," the wolf-headed goddess said in what Iris thought was the sort of tone a therapist would use. "You're brave, and strong."

"Why is this happening to me?" Iris asked again. The goddess waved one of her hands.

"You're getting another chance. A chance to actually turn into the person you want to be, deep down."

Iris didn't know who she wanted to be deep down, but that was sort of the point. She'd never been given the room to find out.

"Right. This is…some stupid isekai story, isn't it?" Iris said. She wiped her nose with her sleeve, sniffled one last time, and stood up. "Alright, tell me where I'm dropping."

The goddess raised her hand, finger extended. At first, Iris thought the goddess was pointing at her, but then she turned around.

It was beautiful. The mists had parted to let her look down on a marble. It wasn't Earth, she could tell with a single glance at the shape of the continents. Clouds scudded over the face of it, oceans shone in blue and green, sunlight glittered on the ice caps. Iris knew that this was no illusion, it was real, and that she was looking at this world as the gods must.

"What kind of world is it?" Iris asked. She looked up; the goddess was still sitting across from her, as if Iris hadn't turned around at all.

"Oh, I think you know the deal. Knights, elves, magic."

"I'm not going to, like, die of dysentery, am I?"

"I think you'll find magic makes up for a lot. No, this world will have everything you need."

"So, do I get some cool overpowered ability?" Iris asked, only half-seriously expecting the goddess to say yes. Instead, the goddess gave her a smile that was positively wolfish. Iris once again felt like a deer about to bolt.

"You aren't going to be the best swordsman in the realm right away. However, there is something I can give you that will keep you alive down there, if you'll accept it."

"What do I need to do?" Iris asked. Not dying again was pretty high on her list of priorities here. Once she was alive, she could figure out who she was.

"Become my avatar. We'll share a form, and I'll lend you part of my power. You'll have to learn to use it, but I think it's exactly what you need."

"What, like, possess me?"

"No, more like…let me along for the ride."

Iris wanted to ask a million questions, not least of all what the goddess got out of it, but frankly she was done questioning her second chance. She wanted to live, to actually be free and happy and loved. She was desperate enough for it that she would accept anything.

"What kind of goddess are you, anyway?"

She gave Iris that wolfish grin again.

"A violent one."

"Oh." Yeah, that would keep her alive alright. "Okay, uh, how do we do this, then?"

Iris breathed softly. The goddess was gone, and Iris felt hands touch her wrists, shoulders, the back of her neck. The goddess' voice was in her ear.

"I like you, Iris. You're a fighter."

It was the most uncanny feeling. It felt like the goddess was putting her on, sliding into her like a new coat. Iris looked at their hands, moving in perfect sync together, like a choreographed dance, and Iris understood. They were the same, just for a second, and then Iris was in control again.

"You're a brave girl. I know you can do this," she said to herself.

And then Iris saw a bright, white light, and she went towards it.
 
Never been able to get into isekai cuz of the dumb stereotypical male fantasy. Dumb Female fantasies are better anyway, I'm liking this for so far, especially the part about body sharing with a giant dommy wolf goddess That's a more interesting super power than most.
 
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heck yeag transbian isekai lets go

Seriously though, I'm definitely following. An intriguing start so far. Also mostly relatable!
 
On the one hand, god I wish that was me. On ther hand, I don't want to die. But I guess that's what vicariously living through fiction is for!
 
This is pretty neat and makes me feel a lot less bad about the more self-indulgent projects I've been working on lately, watched to see where it goes!
 
I was genuinely curious at first because it was new and different but seeing the mindset of this thread being "boring dumb male stories ew, this better" I find it distasteful. Not the atmosphere I was hopeful for. I will say good luck on the story and may you not have writing burnout too quickly.
 
I was genuinely curious at first because it was new and different but seeing the mindset of this thread being "boring dumb male stories ew, this better" I find it distasteful. Not the atmosphere I was hopeful for. I will say good luck on the story and may you not have writing burnout too quickly.
You don't have to read the story if you don't want to of course, but I'm kinda confused as to why you would think that's the attitude of this entire thread? Only one person said anything like that?
 
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I was genuinely curious at first because it was new and different but seeing the mindset of this thread being "boring dumb male stories ew, this better" I find it distasteful. Not the atmosphere I was hopeful for. I will say good luck on the story and may you not have writing burnout too quickly.
My personal take is "most isekai is bad because it's written by bad writers to ape the few gems of the genre mindlessly in a way that drags down a very interesting base concept- what it's like to be in another world without the people you depended on- without understanding them and has gathered a lot of not so great tropes that I feel this take on it might not have given the writer and the main character's gender" and I think a lot of people agree and are saying what you're criticising because it's an easy and concise way to express frustration with a particular issue of lazy, hacky male writers writing the most boring power fantasy takes on isekai they can think of because it sells
 
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My personal take is "most isekai is bad because it's written by bad writers to ape the few gems of the genre mindlessly in a way that drags down a very interesting base concept- what it's like to be in another world without the people you depended on- without understanding them and has gathered a lot of not so great tropes that I feel this take on it might not have given the writer and the main character's gender" and I think a lot of people agree and are saying what you're criticising because it's an easy and concise way to express frustration with a particular issue of lazy, hacky male writers writing the most boring power fantasy takes on isekai they can think of because it sells
"It's only isekai if it's from japan, otherwise, it's just sparkling portal fantasy"
There are plenty of intresting Earth to another world stories, they just aren't assosiated with isekai because it has very specific connotations with a region(and outside of that region, specific audiences). I can think of plenty of media that would fit to an extent, we just don't call it that because there are other names for it with different connotations.

Excited to see where this story goes, so far it's been good
 
I was genuinely curious at first because it was new and different but seeing the mindset of this thread being "boring dumb male stories ew, this better" I find it distasteful. Not the atmosphere I was hopeful for. I will say good luck on the story and may you not have writing burnout too quickly.
What's so distasteful about people having opinions about media?

Honestly this post comes across as pretty ungracious and unnecessary.

If the thematics of the story are not your taste, fine. No need to snidely imply that people who dislike a certain character archetype are misandrist. :/
 
Should I be getting gender euphoria/validation from the fact that someone mistook my clearly a joke comment about the fact that I'm a huge lesbian for being me being some kind of She-woman man hater? It's not even been a week since I'm a girl off the LGBT sub form!

But clearly, male fantasies are fine, like I enjoy the most Bro-ish part of 40K, and you can pry Star Wars and Luke's SI ass heroes journey for my cold dead hands. Plus, as someone who is Genderfluid, I would literally kill to be the Wesley to somebody's Buttercup.

What I meant was that the reasons that Isaikai is usually bad, is super tied up in the misogynistic framework of their story, which portrays everyone except the male protagonist with a complete lack of autonomy and agency.
 
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1.2
CW: Accidental misgendering

Part of my mantra for this story was "earned wish fulfillment", so Iris does not immediately get her ideal body right at the start of the story, she's going to have to transition on her own.

"Are you okay? How the Hell did you get down here?"

Iris was sitting against a stone wall, blinking in the light of – what was that? It wasn't a torch, it was too steady and bright, but it couldn't be electric.

"I don't know. Where am I?"

She remembered the goddess, she remembered — oh, right, she had been dead, briefly. This place was too uncomfortable to be death. She was starting to ground herself, and she saw now that she had woken up in a bare stone room. Moisture dripped from the ceiling and trickled down the walls, and puddles splashed beneath her converse when she shifted her position. To the side, Iris saw a door, made of heavy wooden beams and barred with twisted iron.

And kneeling right in front of her was a woman with a stern, beautiful face. Smooth, pale skin, with a dusting of freckles and a scar across the bridge of her nose. She was wearing full plate armor, the visor of her helm pushed up to show her face. A few locks of feathery white-blonde hair escaped from beneath her mail coif. She held in her hand a stone that glowed with bright, steady light.

"Are you alright, sir?" she asked.

"I'm a woman," Iris said testily. A blush crept across the woman's fair skin.

"I apologize, my lady." She stood up, offering her hand to Iris, "I must say, I didn't expect to find a lone maiden at the bottom of this dungeon, and in such strange garb."

Iris looked down at her clothing. Ugh. She was still wearing her old black boymoder hoodie and unwashed jeans. Her black hair fell lank and greasy around her shoulders. She had just died and been possessed by a goddess and come back to life, and she hadn't even gotten a chance to wash her hair? Awful.

At least she didn't look out of place with how dirty she was. The knight looked like…well, like she had been living underground for the last few days. There was grime smeared all over her armor and her cloak was spotted with mildew stains.

The lady knight drew herself up, and seemed shocked for a moment as Iris towered over her. Iris wobbled slightly; she suddenly realized it must have been a long time since she'd eaten. The lady knight put out a hand to steady her, but Iris brushed her off.

"I'm fine," Iris said.

"I only meant to assist you!" the knight said. Iris rolled her eyes. "May I ask your name, my lady?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm Iris…Iris Pfenning."

"Iris Penny," the knight said, half to herself. Iris opened her mouth to correct her, then realized she actually didn't care. She'd never been very attached to her family name, not after what her family had put her through. Penny was a cute last name anyway.

"Sorry, I don't even know where I am. Who are you?" What the fuck is going on? she wanted to add, but she was trying to just take stock of the situation.

"I am Madame Alessa Harcourt."

"And, let me guess, you're on a quest?"

Alessa drew herself up, trying to look dignified. Iris felt herself smile; she liked the defiant set of Alessa's jaw and the way her pretty blue eyes caught the light.

"I have been sent to delve into this ancient, ruined temple of a lost heathen war goddess, to uncover lost artifacts that may be of value to my house." She looked at Iris skeptically. "We did not expect to find a strange maiden who doesn't even know how she got down here."

Iris filed away bits of information, like that the use of "we" probably meant Alessa had not come alone, and that this was the temple of a war goddess, which could not have been a coincidence.

"Alessa-"

"Madame Alessa," the knight said, glaring at her. Okay, so it was going to be like that.

"Madame Alessa, may I trust you with a secret?"

Alessa paused, glanced at the door, then nodded.

"I am sworn to treat maidens well. I suppose that includes being trusted in their confidence."

"Right. I'm from…another world. I died, in my world, and I woke up here."

She could add all the stuff about the goddess when it became relevant. Along with the details of her life, when she decided to actually trust Alessa. The details she could remember, anyway.

Alessa, to Iris' shock, merely nodded, pursing her lips in thought.

"Such things are known to happen. Why, the King himself came from another world."

Something about the way Alessa said that told Iris that there was something she wasn't saying, but she didn't press her. So far, this conversation was going well.

"So," Alessa continued, "You mean to say that you cannot go back, and you are alone here?"

"Yes, I…suppose so."

"Hmph. Then I suppose it is my duty as a knight to provide you with protection."

"Gee, thanks," Iris mumbled. Alessa either missed her comment or ignored it politely. Instead, she offered Iris the door.

Iris stepped out into a hallway, where she discovered what Alessa meant by "we". There were three other individuals loitering in the hall, an older man and two teenagers.

"Everyone, it appears our strange guest is the Lady Iris Penny. My lady, this is my man-at-arms, Bors," Alessa said, gesturing at the older man.

Bors had the look of a grizzled veteran. He looked to be in his forties, with a short, bristly black beard, a weathered face, and an expression of hardened professionalism. His skin was so deeply tanned Iris wasn't sure if it was his natural skin tone or if he had just spent that long in the sun. He tapped a finger against the brim of his half-helm. He wore a steel breastplate, gauntlets and vambraces, and had a longsword belted at his waist. On his back was a heavy pack that clanked when he moved.

"M'lady," he said. Iris felt herself relax just a bit. At least wherever she was, the people would be accepting of her identity. Or maybe just very polite.

"And these are my cousins, Alexa and Robert," Alessa continued. "They are serving as my squires."

Iris blinked in surprise. They were young; Iris guessed that they were about middle school age. Surely they were a bit too young to be going on dangerous adventures in dungeons. Both wore suits of full plate, and had removed their helmets to reveal youthful, eager faces. Alexa had a bit of a family resemblance to her older cousin; Robert had a darker complexion.

Both of them bowed and murmured polite greetings.

"Yeah, nice to meet you," Iris said quietly. She glanced at Alessa, who had pursed her lips thoughtfully.

"Lady Iris, since you are under my protection, I must consider your safety. Our task remains to retrieve artifacts of power from this dungeon, and we cannot allow you to be injured. Bors, do we have any extra gear she can use?"

Bors cast about in his pack, producing a spare helmet and a mail shirt. The mail was heavier than she expected, but sat easily on her broad shoulders once she had tightened a spare belt around her waist. In the end she had to pull up the hood of her sweater so that the helmet could fit her more comfortably.

"I feel stupid."

"Better than feeling dead," Bors said casually.

"You're telling me," Iris muttered to herself.
 
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HAH, You are hilarious, any way, general isekai fantasy world?, how does magic work there? Those are my questions

I got bit by the worldbuilding bug something fierce, so while it started out as your Generic European Medieval Fantasy Setting (or "GEMFS") I ended up putting a lot of my own twists on the setting and the cosmology. Much shall be revealed in due time, so keep reading!
 
So the king was also an Isekai and they called the goddess heathen- I'm curious what bits of culture he may have brought with him. It'll make for an interesting meeting with out protagonist for sure.
 
Honestly it would be so hype to bring back some like classic 70s Arthurian fantasy vibes of the Noble Savage Pagans being pushed out by the coming hegemony of the White God and the Civilized But Blindly Zealous And Statist medieval church. The good shit of the fantasy pastiche narratives that birthed the cliches that birthed now gamified Isekai setting elements.
 
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