How to tastefully portray slavery in a fantasy-(ish) mecha story

[Hawkatana]

So, I'm presently in the midst of writing a mecha story in a fantasy setting, and is about a revolution overthrowing a tyrannical empire and the resulting wars to install democratic republics in its place. The main character of the story is a former slave who was liberated in the initial revolution and is currently fighting for the Republic to bring about a better world, and I want to make sure I'm doing it right without pissing off marginalised people and trivialising the worst thing we as a species have ever done. Especially as I am a white Australian who has never experienced slavery, nor any experience comparable to it more extreme than high school.

To summarise the major points I'm worried about for context:

• Most importantly: slavery is portrayed as what it is: a completely negative thing that enables our species' worst and cruellest behaviours and only benefits those in power, and that violent resistence to both this institution and tyranny as a whole is not only morally-justified, but completely necessary.
• The Empire in which slavery is/was rampant, the Asterian Empire is structured like the Holy Roman Empire with 11 duchies and one crownland. It's a counterpart in culture to Western and Central Europe, primarily France, Prussia, Austria, Spain and Italy. Serfs, the working class, merchants and especially slaves are held in disdain while the nobility are exalted as paragons of virtue, grace and glory.
• Despite being a confederation of multiple autonomous, culturally-diverse duchies, it holds a very narrow view of who is considered "Asterian" on account of religious dogma, and routinely enslaves other ethnicities, even "white" cultures from the same continent as them. Though it absolutely still enslaves those of darker skin, and they get a worse deal.
• The model of slavery the empire implements is similar to Roman slavery as opposed to American chattel slavery, often as a punishment for prisoners of war and their children. Different types of slaves are specialised for different purposes (labourer, servant, gladiator etc.).
• Slaves are branded with a permanent tattoo on their face denoting them as either being or having been a slave, with the expressed purpose of causing further discrimination down the line.
• The MC, Roland is half Garl on his father's side (one of the duchies, based on France), half Efrigardian on his mother's (Scandinavian, transitioning out of a viking phase, have red hair), discriminated based on the latter. Trained as a gladiator to fight in Mail (the name for the aforementioned mecha) and learned under another gladiator taken from Abyssinia (an old name for Ethiopia).
• He was concieved through... non-consensual means after his mother was captured following a failed coastal raid, though she escaped after giving birth and not only retains agency in the plot, but is a badass in her own right.
• The revolution of the Republic of Garland ended up freeing Roland and other slaves, though he still faces discrimination from the public ("Barbarian" is a common slur against Efrigardians).
• Roland is not the only formerly-enslaved character, not even among the main characters. Seif Al-Mufti is a Zazamanci (Maghreb-inspired culture) Mail knight who was captured by the empire in a prior war and is both a sous-lieutenant in the Garl Revolutionary Army, an ace pilot and a major character in the story.

If any of this is a bad idea, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I'd rather be told mean things now while I still have a safety net to make mistakes.

 

[Tithed_Verse]

I usually also go with Roman style slavery in my works when I want to include slavery.

Last work I made with slavery, slaves could only be captured in war... the children of slaves must be 'free'. So of course the country in question constantly goes to war, and deliberately mistreats her protectorate so that they'll rebel against her so she can have more slaves.

This was also inspired by the Aztecs.

In the work in question, slavery had been getting worse because the government approved debt slavery, and now the country was undergoing a sort of enslavement crisis where more and more citizens were being enslaved every day, causing social unrest and an unraveling of the social contract.

Look, just so long as you make it clear that slavery is unpleasant and undesirable, it's usually OK.

 

[Evenstar]

I would say you are already putting in the work simply by asking the question, but if you wanted to get a closer perspective the best idea IMO would be to read firsthand accounts. Primary sources are always ideal when you can get them. You could also try getting a sensitivity reader. (Which is basically the process you're doing here.)

 

[daniel_gudman]

Despite being a confederation of multiple autonomous, culturally-diverse duchies, it holds a very narrow view of who is considered "Asterian" on account of religious dogma, and routinely enslaves other ethnicities, even "white" cultures from the same continent as them. Though it absolutely still enslaves those of darker skin, and they get a worse deal.

Click to shrink...

I'd avoid leaning too much into Modern Era concepts of Race, it's a little... anachronistic, is what I'd like to say?
Language groups were often as big a marker as skin tone in the past - for example, the Bible story of "Shibboleth" was about discriminating people based on pronunciation, not appearance.
Especially since "the main character is discriminated against for Looking Too Aryan" is going to load this up with exactly the kinds of Implication you're looking to avoid.

Is this supposed to be like an alt-Hist where it's recognizably Europe, but like, the Magic Came Back in 800 AD, history changed a lot, and that's how mechas work? Or a full-on Other World?

The model of slavery the empire implements is similar to Roman slavery as opposed to American chattel slavery, often as a punishment for prisoners of war and their children. Different types of slaves are specialised for different purposes (labourer, servant, gladiator etc.).
Slaves are branded with a permanent tattoo on their face denoting them as either being or having been a slave, with the expressed purpose of causing further discrimination down the line.

Click to shrink...

Rome debated requiring slaves to wear indications of their status in public, but actually decided against it, on the grounds they didn't want slaves to develop a sort of proto-class-consciousness. "We can't let them know how many of them there actually are" kind of thing.

Also, Freedmen - buying your freedom and become a citizen - was a recognized social class in Rome. They were second-class citizens (couldn't hold certain political offices) but they were citizens, and their children were full citizens. In some ways that helps keep a slavery system stable, because there's a socially designated path to getting out of slavery for people that don't want to be slaves.

Shipping people around so they were excised from their original culture was a huge part of the slave trade; grabbing people and sending them somewhere where they were Foreigners, were the locals didn't think of them as kin, made it both easier to sell slaves and harder for them to escape / organize.

The MC, Roland is ...Trained as a gladiator

Click to shrink...

Honestly, this guy kinda sounds like a Sparticus expy? Gladiator-slave who revolted and became a genuine military threat to the state....

 

[Hawkatana]

I'd avoid leaning too much into Modern Era concepts of Race, it's a little... anachronistic, is what I'd like to say?
Language groups were often as big a marker as skin tone in the past - for example, the Bible story of "Shibboleth" was about discriminating people based on pronunciation, not appearance.

Click to shrink...

Noted, I'll try leaning into that then.

Is this supposed to be like an alt-Hist where it's recognizably Europe, but like, the Magic Came Back in 800 AD, history changed a lot, and that's how mechas work? Or a full-on Other World?

Click to shrink...

The latter. That said, the map is basically just Earth's, but reversed.

Shipping people around so they were excised from their original culture was a huge part of the slave trade; grabbing people and sending them somewhere where they were Foreigners, were the locals didn't think of them as kin, made it both easier to sell slaves and harder for them to escape / organize.

Click to shrink...

That is a major aspect of how the empire handles it. So I guess it's a good thing I was planning on introducing it.

Honestly, this guy kinda sounds like a Sparticus expy? Gladiator-slave who revolted and became a genuine military threat to the state....

Click to shrink...

Partially, yes. Roland is a combination of several historical figures & fiction characters I like. Others include his namesake from the Matter of France, Hector from Fire Emblem 7 and Addam from Xenoblade 2's Torna DLC.

 

[Princess Scribe]

While I don't think you'd do this from our interactions, I also want to point out some people try to hedge their use and have a slave say how it's not that bad compared to <other worse treated slaves>. That never goes over well, people only remember hedging on the slavery, not the relativity of it.

 

[Hawkatana]

While I don't think you'd do this from our interactions, I also want to point out some people try to hedge their use and have a slave say how it's not that bad compared to <other worse treated slaves>. That never goes over well, people only remember hedging on the slavery, not the relativity of it.

Click to shrink...

The phrasing comes down to "And I thought I had it bad" from Roland to Seif. I'm going to be very careful in regards to the way I word it to avoid downplaying it.

 

[daniel_gudman]

Don't over do it though either. Real risk that you just end up tilting at windmills if you try to be too polite about it as the narrator.

Its a shitty exploitive system, so there's gonna be shitty exploitive people. Let characters be assholes in ways that don't get remarked upon, because that's normal to everybody.

The latter. That said, the map is basically just Earth's, but reversed.

Click to shrink...

That's a little too cute, I'd say. Reversed how? Flipped so the poles are different? The problem here is it's another kind of "alternate Earth" that you're maybe going to have to explain.

Work backwards from the kind of geography you want as the setting; a big super-continent so there's a massive inland desert? Dozens of tiny continents so everywhere is wet? No super-huge Moon like ours, so that tides are much smaller?

Others include his namesake from the Matter of France,

Click to shrink...

Name him after somebody else. Don't name anybody after real-world historical figures, don't import regional names. Otherwise it's too confusing for the audience that you're doing a fresh-world fantasy but using all these IRL names.

 

[Hawkatana]

That's a little too cute, I'd say. Reversed how? Flipped so the poles are different? The problem here is it's another kind of "alternate Earth" that you're maybe going to have to explain.

Click to shrink...

I think it's best if I just show you:

 

[daniel_gudman]

Uuuh yeah that really is too cute. At least set it along the coast of like the Tethys ocean or something if you don't want to invent your own maps entirely.

 

[plotvitalnpc]

That's a little too cute, I'd say. Reversed how? Flipped so the poles are different? The problem here is it's another kind of "alternate Earth" that you're maybe going to have to explain.

Click to shrink...

My favorite What If!

And yeah, europe but backwards is just silly.

 

[CV12Hornet]

The model of slavery the empire implements is similar to Roman slavery as opposed to American chattel slavery, often as a punishment for prisoners of war and their children. Different types of slaves are specialised for different purposes (labourer, servant, gladiator etc.).

Click to shrink...

And Roman-style slavery was very often as brutal as American chattel slavery. Work in mines, quarries, and especially sugar plantations on places like Cyprus were notorious for the death rates.

Slaves are branded with a permanent tattoo on their face denoting them as either being or having been a slave, with the expressed purpose of causing further discrimination down the line.

Click to shrink...

In addition to what others have said, while this was done by the Romans it was specifically reserved for those enslaved as a legal punishment.

He was concieved through... non-consensual means after his mother was captured following a failed coastal raid, though she escaped after giving birth and not only retains agency in the plot, but is a badass in her own right.

Click to shrink...

Fun fact: the Romans used slaves as prostitutes!

Oh, wait, no, that's not a fun fact at all.

 

[Hawkatana]

And Roman-style slavery was very often as brutal as American chattel slavery. Work in mines, quarries, and especially sugar plantations on places like Cyprus were notorious for the death rates.

Click to shrink...

I am aware, but they were handled differently from each other and I don't want to mix my metaphors. It's not a difference of brutality, just in the minutia and ways it functioned.

 

[WriterInTheVoid]

And Roman-style slavery was very often as brutal as American chattel slavery.

Click to shrink...

I think what often trips people up about slavery outside the American context isn't that it was less brutal but there is a greater sense in many societies that not all slaves seem to be equally slaves.

So much so that its arguably a failure of language more than anything else.

Its why I'm kind of peeved by how people whitewash slavery under civilizations like the Romans or Muslim Empires. Because those societies had slave plantations and places where slaves were just as brutally mistreated as the Antebellum south.

But at the same time there existed a social echelons who were essentially indistinguishable from the working class or even had higher status than most free men if we're using cases like the Ottomans or Mughals who had slave viziers, generals and court officials.

 

[Tithed_Verse]

But at the same time there existed a social echelons who were essentially indistinguishable from the working class or even had higher status than most free men if we're using cases like the Ottomans or Mughals who had slave viziers, generals and court officials.

Click to shrink...

I have a setting with an massive, ancient, extremely stable empire where all accountants, lawyers, engineers, doctors, and recordkeepers/historians are, technically, property of the government (they're also all eunuchs). They also have a special written language that's not taught to non-eunuchs that includes it's own set of mathematical notation that's better than what everyone else uses... they have integrals and derivatives for example. This written language is the only language that official records and laws are kept in and it's illegal for non-eunuchs to learn it.

They basically run the government and the emperor is a figurehead. Every so often there's a revolution, but the eunuchs are too useful and wind up keeping the same position under the new government, and wind up running it too. They also usually wind up running the provinces, companies, and districts that rent them from the government. So basically the 'slaves' have more power than a free man, though it comes at the cost of their reproductive organs.

Men have the whole bait-and-tackle ripped out and women are given a hysterectomy, and they're not referred to as men or women but just as eunuchs. They're their own thing.

Heh. It's a fun setting, though the empire doesn't really take anything resembling a major role in it, the more important figures are the more modernized countries. The empire is incredibly stable, but... they're incredibly stable. They don't need steam powered factories, they've got river powered ones. They don't need steam-carriages and railways, they've got canals. They had plumbing, running water, paper, sanitation, sustainable agriculture, and printing before anyone else. And when a peasant, or a worker, or whomever has more children than they can care for? They don't abandon them to the woods, they sell them to the eunuchs.

But, like, I don't think of that as slavery. Because, the eunichs are not subject to brutality, nor starvation, nor discomfort. Even though they are slaves, on average they live longer, happier, healthier lives than the middle class of workshop owners, merchants and small farm holders. Though not as well as the noble classes.

So you're right, there is a bit of a language problem with there being different types of slavery, and some of them are noticeably worse than others.

 

[Mouse]

I don't feel competent to comment on your depiction of slavery, but I would like to poke your proposed geography:

The latter. That said, the map is basically just Earth's, but reversed.

Click to shrink...

I think it's best if I just show you:

Click to shrink...

Two points:
This is far too obviously 'Physical Europe, but mirrored with random national borders superimposed' to fly without in-story explanation. Either: make sure this map never gets published and just use it for your own reference (there are any number of fictional lands which have never had a canon map published, for good and proper reasons - so long as your descriptions of the environment and geography are consistent in the text the reader doesn't need a map, and if they can't follow your story without a map learn to write better); Or, hide this map away, read your own story (it sounds as though you have a pretty solid outline, at least) and figure out from that what your map is. Better, you might have someone else (ideally someone with suitable art skills) read your outline/stories and have them work out a map - this is how the official map of the Discworld was created (both the Disc as a whole and Anhk-Morpok).

Anecdote: Supposedly, 'Treasure Island' began when the author and his nephew (IIRC - might have been his son) drew a map of an island, and decoded they wanted to know the story which led to the map. That map went in the package with the manuscript to the publisher - but never arrived. The publisher couldn't find it in his office, the author couldn't find it in his home. Eventually, the author sat down and recreated the map from the descriptions in his story so it could be printed in the book... but forever afterwards believed that the lost map was 'better' than the one everyone is familiar with.

A side point: Labelling your British Isles-equivalent as Forbidden/Unknown will require an explanation in-story, and I'd suggest unless it's a plot point or a hook for a future story you'd be well advised to just delete the whole of the Isles. Dover is visible from Calais and the North Sea was one of the most important fisheries accessible to Europeans in the Middle and Dark Ages (and before and for a long time after) - there is no chance that any civilisation with boats better than hollow logs is not well informed about those islands.

Second point, weather. The prevailing weather patterns in Europe are caused by the prevailing winds, which circulate clockwise over the North Atlantic and therefore generally bring cold/wet air in from the west and northwest, leading to rain over the Atlantic coast regions (wide enough to encompass the whole of the UK, most of France, etc). This is caused by the rotation of the Earth. Mirroring the geography (without reversing the rotation of the planet) would lead to a prevailing wind from the south and southeast mainly bringing warm/dry air from northern Africa. The Iberian peninsula (Spain & Portugal IRL; 'Hibiska' & 'Lillea' in your map) and the southern (Mediterranean - you need names for the seas as well) coast will be hotter and drier than IRL, the rest of the continent will be drier and in many places colder (because of clearer skies at night), and also significantly less fertile as a direct result, all of which will have a knock-on effect on the civilisations there.

There are, of course, a lot of other considerations, but I'm in sight of the limits of my own competence already and there isn't room for an encyclopaedia in this post even if I wasn't.

It's worth noting that in many major cities in Europe, the 'better' districts are to the west, because that way the smell from the industrial districts blows away from the upper class. Most of the exceptions to this are on western coasts, so the docks have to be to the west and the local industries built up around that. London is the example I am most familiar with - even today, the western suburbs (especially north of the Thames) have larger, more luxurious homes than the east and a higher proportion of upper-middle-class residents and neighbourhoods.

While I don't think you'd do this from our interactions, I also want to point out some people try to hedge their use and have a slave say how it's not that bad compared to <other worse treated slaves>. That never goes over well, people only remember hedging on the slavery, not the relativity of it.

Click to shrink...

The phrasing comes down to "And I thought I had it bad" from Roland to Seif. I'm going to be very careful in regards to the way I word it to avoid downplaying it.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, be careful with this. Maybe 'show, don't tell' and never have the characters explicitly say so.

 

[Hawkatana]

A side point: Labelling your British Isles-equivalent as Forbidden/Unknown will require an explanation in-story, and I'd suggest unless it's a plot point or a hook for a future story you'd be well advised to just delete the whole of the Isles.

Click to shrink...

Oh I have many plans for it. All I'll say for now though is that it ties into the endgame in some way.

 

[Hawkatana]

Well in any case, I made a new map with completely new landmasses.