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Guda 1/2 (F/GO)

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Wu Zetian; an Empress of China. Almost quite literally dragged herself to her ascension onto the throne. She has poisoned, tortured, and framed her rivals and enemies.

Her Noble Phantasm is the Torturer's Manual which she wrote, which turns the target into the tortured and her the torturer.

When she heard that she was destined by the heavens to claim the Chinese throne, she told the prophet off and proclaimed that it will not be the heavens that bring her the throne but her own efforts. Which she promptly made reality.

Ambitious mixed with cruelty are amongst her most known traits. However she is intelligent, having studied various fields in order to ascertain and hold her claim on the throne. Economics, Politics, Martial Arts, all this and more she learned in her quest.

Her rule could be considered a tyrannical one, where she had the laws enforced with a cast iron fist wearing spiked knuckles. However, while she likes to make sure everything is controlled and orderly, she is not above delegating tasks to competent officials. She is also not afraid to get her own hands dirty if she must.

Also fears/despises cats due to a victim 'cursing' her to be reborn as a mouse to be eaten by a cat.

Just what I felt from her from reading the Agartha story/her bio. At least that I can remember.
 
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justinkal said:
I like the 5* version of Vlad. This is literally the first time I've ever heard anyone say they like the F/E version.
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You have trouble enjoying his pleasures? You just need someone to teach you. Most would rather ease you into it, but for such a man, it's better to be rough on showing you the appeal rather than gentle.

The spearwork of Extra Lancer is without peer, and to understand the joyous reaction he can cause, you must first understand the mindset of one such as him. He who has his spear rise in giddy joy at the idea of a good battle, letting fluids flow as he impalea his opposite through the sweet flesh.

The battle is a dance, and the screams he elicits once it reaches the climax, once his strong hard spear in impales the other party as fast and as strong and as long as he can. Do not underestimate his stamina, either. Just because you have spilt his fluid means nothing in regards to his action of filling you with his spear.

Sure, his pleasure causes a little death, but in the moment of combat, with blood pumping and his spear in motion, Extra Vlad is joyous.
 
justinkal said:
I like the 5* version of Vlad. This is literally the first time I've ever heard anyone say they like the F/E version.
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See, I used to agree with you that Extra Vlad was kind of eh at first, but then Grand Order gave him a lot more character depth and it turns out all things considered he can be a surprisingly cool guy with a flair for the poetic. Check it:

"Oh comrade. Let's start a war to to correct all immorality and injustice."

"Our bond is something to shine on the battlefield. Gentle conversation is something beyond the reach of my spear."

"My spear is stained in blood, my wife is lost. But... here, I have gained a new fate. Comrade, let me serve you."
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Bladestar123 said:
WELL DONE ROLLING A DIE AND NOT DYING IN THE PROCESS. MOST ADMIRABLE. YOUR SERVANT TODAY ISSSSSSSSSSS



this pervert, apparently. ask bondo or daze, i know fuck all about her besides the fact that she's supposed to be Wu Zetian. not like i give a fuck, ill write what i want anyway
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Oh god why.

I don't think there's anyone I would've wanted less.
 
Just use the Kaleidoscope as an excuse and anything can happen. Everything can be canon if you're willing to stretch your suspension of disbelief far enough. :V
 
Khawy said:
Yes, Dante from the Devil May Cry series will make a cameo in this quest, and Knuckles.
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I honestly wouldn't mind Dante as a Servant. We could kick back and eat pizza, enjoy strawberry sundaes and he could teach us how not to be a scrub.

>inb4 we summon Dante Alighieri, who secretely hunted demons in between writing the most famous piece of SI Fiction in history.
 
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Lolipocolypse
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    • [X] Mashu, go deal with that while I play with Fou. It's for a good cause, I swear. Oh hey, there's a shiny red egg thing over there!

    You quickly scuttle off to the red gleam in the dirt, rightfully assuming that Mashu gave up and went to deal with the screams. Better her than you, frankly. What if you needed to take responsibility? Horrid.

    The red thing turns out to be a weird fucking egg thing, with bits of a face that not even a mother could love haphazardly pasted about.



    You walk up to it slowly, and stop, leaning over it. It's an ugly sumbitch, no question, but something about it draws you in. You remember Mashu's comments, about the heroes, and even as you think to yourself, the face slides like runny yolk over the surface, realigning in a way that seems more akin to a "human".

    And then its eyes open and it weeps in bloody agony.

    You pity the poor fucker. Born an egg, grew up laughed at by the other egg children for eating out of his forhead, maybe got dunked in the egg-latrines a few times. Grew up literally talking out of it's ass, maybe worked a dead-end job, tried to find a nice egg-wife that could love him for who he was. An egg. An egg, that was maybe a little sensitive, maybe a little shy, but willing to give anyone a second chance. To look at someone not for the thickness of their shell or the shade of their spots, but for the consistency of their yolk. A diamond in the egg carton. Someone that, could anyone actually meet his eyes, would perhaps surprise them, maybe with a little wit, or by showing them more of a heart than they expected. You let yourself go a little, feeling your heart go out to the thing.

    And step on the little bastard, turning it into so much mulch on the dirt. Gross. You bend over, gather the loose bits, and raise it to the sky.

    "BY THE DEMONS OF SELZAR, I SUMMON A HERO. COME SAVE ME FUCKER."

    The eggbits burn coldly in your hands, evaporating into shards of light that too rise into the sky. Lightning flashes high above, rumbling thunder chasing after as you sit in the cold dirt. A loose brick is beside, and you pick it up with numb fingers.

    Before you, light shines, and a presence steps forth from nothingness.



    "Yo", she grins roguishly. "I'm here to be a fucking hero, s'up?"

    You nod slightly, eyes wide. "Dope."

    "Hell yeah," she chuckles. "Now, any questions?"

    "Why are you so fucking short?"

    She frowns. "Why are you so fucking tall? Eat shit, I be as I is." You shrug. Good enough.

    You turn back to Mashu as she returns, with what appears to be her redheaded older twin sister. Whatsherface. You don't remember. "Good news! I've saved us all."

    Mashu has a complicated expression on her face. "And what, exactly, have you done to save us all Senpai?"

    "I summoned this pervert."

    The pervert flashes a peace sign. "Yo. Nice pajamas."

    Mashu looks tiredly at the two of you. "I feel saved already." She clears her throat. "What...ah, where did she come from? Actually, I mean."

    "I summoned her," you insist. "I called her down from the heavens to help us." You wave a hand top to bottom at all of the new hero. It isn't much of a gesture. "She's def here to help us. She said so."

    "Senpai, return her before we're saddled with a lawsuit I'm really not prepared to handle."

    "I refuse."

    She hefts her shield. "Senpai, I wasn't asking."

    "Denied regardless."

    Whatsherface seems rather peeved at being shunted to the background, but you're frankly not interested, since your issues are clearly more important than whatever this chick has going on. You feel rather unappreciated, actually. You had to deal with several whole minutes of Mashu telling you facts, and then when you proceeded to ignore them all and still summon help, she has problems. Clearly, the issue is with her facts, but you doubt the nerd would be willing to admit that. You look at your dependable help, picking her nose with all the grace you expect of a true hero. "Fix this."

    She looks askance at you. "Why."

    You turn to her and kick her in the shins. "Be a hero."

    "Where?"

    You point at the visibly exasperated Mashu and the NPC next to her. "I'm being threatened. Threatened. Me. I am. Get it? Fix it."

    The pervert looks at them. "Stop that."

    Mashu shoots her the driest look imaginable, and the perhaps-not-entirely-a-pervert sniffs in offended slight, ruffling the absurd bits of lace glued together she calls an outfit. Urgh, you're willing to bet even a scrap of that lace is worth more than your whole paycheck. Safe bet, since you're not sure you're actually being paid, but all that tells you is that you need to secure your own source of monetary compensation.

    Mashu sighs, and ruffles the back of her head. "She's clearly not some random child at least." She glares down at Lacey. "Since no child I know of, is quite that much of an asshole. But we have bigger problems."

    You perk your ears up. She may not know much about children, but Mashu knows danger. This sounds like a heroes job. Surely.

    "Not quite, Senpai. The aftermath of one, actually."

    "That explains the blood, certainly." Lacey points out, pointing a disgustingly manicured finger at the redhead. Who isn't actually a redhead, on closer glance. "Wew son, that's messy, the hell did you do?"

    Sharkey glares back. "I did nothing." She flushes a little, and hedges. "Of my own accord. Or intentions."

    You arch a brow as Mashu, who clears her throat awkwardly. "Her coordinates overlapped with someone already in this plane."

    Instant telefrag, not bad.

    "Yes, well, turns out the being in question was a servant, with no small degree of Magic Resistance. The result was not pleasant, as no small part of the Rayshift is also magic."

    The redhead coughed out what looked like a thumb sized lump of gold, and then flushed in mortification, hiding herself. Lacey quietly snickers beside you.

    "Big fucking deal. Buffalo Bess here is cool and all Mashu, but weren't we here for something? That's a real question, by the way. I don't remember. Trauma, maybe. I can sue for that right? On-site trauma?"

    Bessy looks to be somewhere between shame and anger, and all it does is make her look more like the egg. You miss that egg.

    No you don't.

    "Unfortunately," Mashu has that constipated look again. "Unfortunately, that was our way out. Maybe. I think."

    "So we're stuck." Lacey interrupts. Mashu grits her teeth at the interruption, but nods jerkily in reluctant affirmation. "Shame, that. This place is goddamn filthy."

    "So's your vocabulary," Mashu mutters, and Lacey simply smirks in response. "It's called blending in. When with the plebs, you speak like the plebs. Get it? Because you're the plebs. You're plebs. In case you didn't notice. 'Cause you're poor. And dirty. And poor."

    That cuts deep. Really, it does, though you're sure you could staunch that with some of that real nice lace. Weren't Masters supposed to be responsible or something? Surely, it's your responsibility to ensure this small child is dressed properly, and you dispose of these, hah, rags she currently sports.

    Mashu gets in her face. "Some hero. Really, what can you do? Hmm? Can you fight?"

    Lacey looks offended. "Fight?! What, like you? Against the things in this place?" She shudders slightly. Mockingly. "Ew. What if I catch poverty?"

    She turns away from Mashu audibly gritting her teeth. "More importantly, we need to get out of here. It's dirty."

    You agree. But where to?

    "Actually," Bloody Mary interrupts, "I have my credit card. And cash."

    Lacey looks intrigued at the idea of paper dosh. Fou borks mournfully from where he sits in the dirt, obviously unqualified to be making decisions at all.

    [ ] China. "The superior option, obviously. What, don't you know anything? Are you not aware of how many magical artifacts we have just lying around? Are you uneducated too? Are you? Shit, of course I got stuck with the ones that can't even file taxes. The worst kind. Ugh."
    [ ] Britain. "My home, and the seat of the Magus Association. It will be of no small help to gain allies, and perhaps even advice. The Wizard-Marshall, is he exists in this time and space, is likely to be of help, should he bother to be bothered. It is, however, no small amount of danger, as the lot of you are unqualified at best, to traverse those halls."
    [ ] America. "Senpai, the filthy Americans may be unqualified, but they certainly are creative. Perhaps they managed to make something useful for someone else for once?"
    [ ] Write-in, and why. Guda is judging you. "Lol, I dunno, what about this fucking place. It has something worth a damn, right?"

    I don't even remember who the boss of this area was. No one important, surely.
     
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