As you wish. Here's the post describing my rather bizarre mass-crossover that I thought up while bored at home during a quiet summer day. Now I originally posted this on SB, but I actually imagined it all when I was 13:
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Once upon a time, I thought up a mega-crossover. Now, mega-crossover's are something that every geek imagines at one point in their lives, so I don't consider it too embarrassing. However, like many of my compatriots, when I tried to sit down and write the thing, it was just a complete and utter mess that would never make it on paper so I gave up. However, I do remember it quite well:
Basically; sometime in the year 1870 in a world not quite our own, Konoha exists as a rundown wild west town in a area often contested by the bickering United States and the confederacy, populated by Western! versions of the Naruto cast. Naruto himself is resurrected after the third Hokage committed a necromatic ritual with the bones of his father, in a desperate attempt to save his people from eventual extinction (the events of Naruto happening millennia before). The result was... Naruto, fused with the soul of Kyubbi. After that, Naruto essentially is treated as the village idiot by the Cowboy-Ninjas, partially of fear for Kyubbi, partially out of disgust and shame due to the ritual.
Victorian!Sartobi is all around a good guy, and is one of the few members of Konoha who treats him with respect. Naruto grow's up into the same hyperactive dumbass he was in canon, but then as soon as he hit's his twelfth birthday (sometime in the early 1880's), shit get's out of control. Itachi, goes nut's much the same way he does in canon, and massacres his family and all the slaves on their plantation. However, it's not 'quite' Itachi, rather it's a sapient golem made out of stitched leaves and twigs left behind by a Sidhe who decides to make Itachi her 'pet.' After that, the Villagers get paranoid and chase Naruto out of town, despite the best efforts of both the ANBU and the third Hokage.
As it was a little, rundown, village out in the middle of nowhere, Naruto does not care. Thankfully, the Hokage delivered him a assload of supplies and a note directing him to New Orleans, so the poor guy doesen't get gunned down by Bandit's or get's arrested by Federal troops. So, Naruto head's down to a Confederacy that was never brought back into the Union, and is, to be frank, the 'Empire' of North America. Slavery's still legal, 'President' Orochimaru is a all around nut, and Supermen/Mages/Elves run amock and do whatever in the hell they want to muggles. Along the way, he passes through a independent Texas, which is presented as a 'decent' place to live... And stays in Arlen. Yes, THAT Arlen.
After a day of wacky hijinks, he moves on and a few weeks later he finally arrives in the Bayou. After a brief adventure with a Cajun dude (one of the better OC's I've written), he arrives at the... God... 'The Armstrong Academy for the Gifted.'
God... This is particularly embarrassing for me. It's pretty much Hogwarts, just with the serial numbers filed off, and in a steampunk and rather mosquito filled environment. At this
wonderful Magic-School, he pretty much run's a plethora of character's from pretty much everything, befriends all of them, and becomes a Gary Stu (believe me, he did).
This would take too long to describe in it's entirety, so basically he has kick-ass teachers, has a awesome selection of friends, and generally learns everything with relative ease. I really don't remember a whole lot about the alumni or the teachers, but I believe I had Greed teaching Economics, that and every female student pretty much fell in love with Naruto. Which I'm guessing all came from a plethora of Animes, the Persona games, probably a bunch of comic books, and likely Harry Potter... I don't know anymore. Just assume it was pretty much every High School Harem Crossover AU but with steampunk and use your imagination.
After a few years when Naruto begins approaching graduation, Sasuke in the... Rundown slum of Konoha
somehow learns of Naruto's recent successes and get's rather angry. I think Sasuke see's Naruto's name in the newspaper and decides "the Demon is alive!?" And decides to capture him, because Sasuke was a two dimensional asshole to bash. So, he talks to Danzo, who agrees to let Asshole!Sasuke gather a posse and bring Naruto back alive. Or dead, I don't know. But it's down under the Third Hokages nose.
So, Sasuke set's out with all the teams and heads down to Louisiana, and he hates Naruto for reasons. Oh and Sakura's there for reasons, even though she lives in a sexist time period and is portrayed as being a worthless **** who clings to Sasuke. I don't exactly know what happens during the event's leading up to Naruto's graduation, but at the prom (young!Data didn't do a whole lot of research) or whatever, Sasuke bursts in and start's beating people up. The other Naruto character's join in, a lot of people get hurt, and Naruto get's concked in the head real hard and get's amnesia (...).
Amnesiac Naruto get's scared and rides away into the west, while Sasuke 'n company get their collective asses kicked. Sakura dies, Neji get's left behind as Coward!Sasuke and the other's decide to follow Naruto. Neji get's captured and get's interrogated, while the other's become a bunch of outlaws. After that... I really don't remember.
I do remember Las Vegas as being a hive for Wild West gangs, with the
Joker in charge of his own goddamn Casino. As our hero travels the wastes, Naruto run's into a group of Mormon missionaries (who thanks to
Honest Hearts, were badasses), and Gaara as a Bandit. Oh, and he run's into Russian!Kisame. Who was rather awesome, when he finally reaches Mega Vegas and starts getting tangled up in the families business. That in itself was fun, but the stuff that came before... This is the extent of what I had planned, I do remember the Wild West as much more anarchic than the one from our world, that and Clark Kent was the President of the freaking United States.
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In retrospect, it's pretty un-salvageable, and would work better not as a fanfic, but as a standalone work with
massive rewriting. For one; I'd drop everything about the 'Armstrong School for the Gifted', and just either replace it with something funner to write, or just have 'Naruto' wander off into the west and start there. Also; I feel rather ashamed of how I portrayed the CSA, to be honest I feel as if I disrespected the men who died in that horrible conflict. The geo-political scenario was a mess; with the CSA as a evil Empire, the USA as the Federation of freaking Planets, Independent California as Switzerland, Texas as the Republic of Gary Stu, the Communist Manhattan Commune as *Oceania, Deseret as Jesus-land, and the Wild West was just the Fallout wasteland without Mutants (but with Werewolves and Vampires, and other stupid shit). That, and the 'Ninja' had to be depowered significantly, which makes sense given the setting, but may stretch the DOD.
It would need to be revised and rewritten. For one, I'd portray the conflict between the CSA and the USA as being more grey, similar to something you'd find in a Turtledove novel. Texas would be heavily pro-America, California would still be apart of the Union, and the ol' west would just simply be less 'crazy wasteland' and more 'spaghetti western.' I would also do a lot of research to make the thing historically accurate, just to ensure that I would write a respectful portrayal of not just the Native Americans and Mormons, but all the people that lived and died during the times and trials of the 19'th century.
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My younger self had a rather strange imagination, to say the least.
