Alchemical Solutions [Worm/Exalted]: STORY-ONLY THREAD

Chapter 10.3
Chapter 10.3


[X] Taylor Takes A Break In A Few Days
- [x] STUNT: Nostrils flaring in the cold air, Taylor stared down the length of the Calgary, Alberta ski run, resolutely ignoring the sneaked glances of the other late-season skiers. "Dunno how I let you talk me into this," she muttered into her headset, adjusting her goggles. Dragon's low chuckle was her only reply. She exhaled sharply. "Here goes nothing," and kicked off.
[X] Taylor Honors Her Deal With Bastard Son
- [x] STUNT: Bastard Son stepped out of the bathroom in the early morning light, towelling his hair vigorously as the steam billowed around him. He whistled as he turned to the mirror, slathering shaving cream on his face as he reached for his razor. Then stopped. On the mirror was finger-painted a message in the condensation: Seven days =^._.^=∫
[X] Sirkalla's Focus For The Next Few Days: Fix Relationship With Kali
[X] Work With The PRT To Start Ciara's Parole Process
[X] Aisha Heads For Philadelphia
- [x] STUNT: "Why?" Valefor moans piteously as the pummeling continues. "I don't even know you!" "What a coincidence!" Aisha crowed, never ceasing in her beat-down of the Fallen cape. "I don't know who you are either!"

XP Expenditures:
[X] EOA - 2XP - Craft (Drones ●●○)
[X] EOA - 6 XP - Ally (Armsmaster) ●●○○○
[X] FPoP - 3 XP - Mentor (Contessa) ●○○○○
[X] FPoP - 4XP - Medicine ●●○○○
[X] WoRI - 2XP - Stealth (Completely Harmless ●○○)
[X] WoRI - 9 XP - Ally (Glaistig Uaine) ●●●○○
[X] WMS - 4 XP - Linguistics ●○○○○
[X] WMS - 2 XP - Ride (Like It's Stolen ●●○)
[X] WMS - 4 XP - Medicine ●○○○○


***


Pain sucks.

'S been a big part of your life for the last few months, though not in the usual scuffs, scrapes, and shoves that followed you through school, alleyways, and home in Brockton. If you had one of those dopey "Rate Your Pain," smiling-frowning-crying charts that've decorated the walls of nicer hospitals, your daily life before Behemoth blew everything to shit was filled with the usual twos and threes. A few fours? But that's life, right?

No big deal, no reason to complain since no one cared.

Hah. Good thing your life was shitty enough before Taylor rolled through so all the fucked-up stuff that came after didn't break you. Bobby, Saki... even Missy…

Eh… you guess you shouldn't play them like that. They got, like, used by Bonesaw, and you only got almost-killed… what? Three times? Oh, and that bomb Hatchet Fuck shoved in your guts during your fight. Does that count? Yeah, you're gonna count it.

Whatever. Point is: you're used to pain.

Taylor told you that this'd hurt more than anything else. Prayer and Saki backed her up.

You were pretty sure none of them had gone through Armsdouche fuckin' cuttin' them in half, so you told 'em you were pretty sure you'd gone through worse already.

"Just remember," she'd sighed, rolling all those freaky eyes of hers, "I warned you."

Waving her off, you sat Indian-style on top of the Big Black Ball of Fuck You Simurgh and let it hover up to... wherever the thing in the air was supposed to be. You weren't sure if it would be in the same place as before, since now you were in a forest instead of in the air above a lake, but then…

No warning.

No sound, no feeling that something had changed.

One second you're looking straight ahead at some old-as-fuck trees in some out-of-nowhere forest, the next-


PAIN.


The kind of hurt that makes you lose time, since you can't even think.

Which you're only doing now, because the PAIN-

Oof. Fuck. Not thinking too hard about that ever again. Guess that explains why Tay and Saki and Prayer all flinched when you talked about it. Huh, maybe Saki can get in your head and take that memory out?

Whatever. From what Saki explained when Big Bro was grillin' her (heh) for how the whole thing worked, after the... hurt... you're supposed to have some sort of Come To RoboJesus experience? Get some eyetime with the big A?

...

… so how come you're just sorta… floatin'... in... nothin'?
...

You're not sure how long you've been stuck here, but you're already bored.

"Helllloooooo?"

Well, even if you don't have a body, you can still talk? That's something.



Yup. Still bored.

Awaken.

Maybe you need to… do some sort of magic? You're supposed to be a magical robogirl now, right? With lots of extra kick-ass-actual-magic powers on top of your super-awesome-but-kinda-annoying parahuman power?

Awaken.

Now that you're thinking about it, you still… kinda feel your parahuman power? The PRT said yours was a "subconcrete" power or something, like breathing - you just did it without thinking, but if you thought about it then you could control it. And yeah, turning off your power feels like holding your breath with another set of lungs… or, at least… it did?

Awaken.

Yeah, it-... wait. What was that?

Ach, ye'r gettin' nowhere! Here, lemme-!

Did… did you hear something? Is someone-

HEY YEW! WAKE! UP!


***


You blink wildly, dozens of blinding lights filling your vision as-

AACHGH WATER IN LUNGS GAH! CAN'T BREATHE! CAN'T BREATHE! CAN'T-

… wait, you're… breathing? In water? What the fuck?

You stop flailing and blinking long enough to let your eyes adjust to the light-

"Hah! What'd aye say? They be made o' stronger stuff'n than yew first-gen-ers!"



You're in some kind of tube. With kinda-clear goo-liquid. Which is in some kind of metal room with lots of blinking lights.

There's a dwarf outside the tube.

… and some kind of guy-version of Prayer, who's wearin' a bedsheet instead of actual clothes.

But who cares about that?! The dwarf's even got all sorts of blacksmith-lookin' gear on and everything! And a metal eyepatch! Hah!

"You are awake," Big Blue says, his voice that weird windchime-echo like Prayer's when she goes super-robot. "Deactivate your Shard of Safeguarded Perception charm."

Ignoring that, the tube's just big enough for you to extend your arm fully as you point to the grinning shortstack.

"You! You're a dwarf!" you laugh. You started reading The Lord of the Rings just so you could make jokes about Taylor's bullshit - you didn't think it'd be a guide book! "Hey! Do you have an axe?"

Gimli stops grinning at you, blinking (or is it 'winking' if he only has one eye?) in confusion because you've clearly already figured him out.

"Eh?"

Bedsheet McBlueface takes a step closer to the tube, though he still keeps his left hand on Gimli's shoulder for some reason.

"Chosen of Autochthon. Your Shard of Safeguarded Perception charm interrupted the work of your attendant spirits and Sodalites. Deactivate it."

Wiggling in the goo-broth, you manage to squirm closer to the glass and squint at Big Blue. Crystal-like hair shaped… yeah, that's an undercut. Not a bad-lookin' face, though. Pecs and abs? Yyyyup.

Yeah, he'd be hot if it weren't for that robo-voice and bedsheet. Still: not a dwarf.

You look back at Gimli, who's pretty clearly the brains of the bunch.

"In English?"

Even through his awesome beard, it looks like he just bit a lemon. "Blech! No way, lass - don' eva ask me 'ta translate in'ta tha gutter-garglin' tongue!"

You pause. "Uh… wait, then what are we-?"

Oh.

Aw, fuck.

"Aw fuck," you groan, sagging in the goop as you reach up to cradle your head. "BotGod messed with my brain, didn't he? Are we talkin' in that weird bullshit language?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you see both of them flinch. Hard.

Blueface makes a weird, echoing, hissing sound as lightning crackles over his skin.

"Heresy detected."

As you lean away from the glass while making worried noises, Gimli heaves a sigh and shakes his head - absently slapping his right hand into Big Blue's toned stomach while his left massages his eyepatch.

"Ach, come off it ya over-tightened clogged-socket! Ye think the Maker'd catalyze a tainted soul? 'S not like the Herald's had much a go at proper proselytizin', and ye know it!"
...

There's a long enough pause that you're about to wonder ask what all that just meant, but Bedsheet finally snaps out of it and makes a weird grunt-like noise.

"Do not use such vulgarity in front of the Chosen. Their language-centers must remain pure."

Both you and the dwarf snort in laughter, only for the sensation of goo flowing out of your nose to make you spasm in disgust. This causes Gimli to laugh harder - enough to start wheezing. You give him the double-bird when you recover, but that only makes him worse. Traitor.

Big Blue keeps looking stoic, but after eyeing you for a few more moments he closes his golden eyes in disgust.

"Moonsilvers."


***


You and the dwarf trade a few more rude gestures while cracking up (you're not sure what that trumpet-looking move is supposed to mean, but you're gonna use it when you get back anyway), until eventually Big Blue Butthurt fidgets enough to get McBeardsly to translate what was said earlier:

Your power's screwing things up like usual, and you gotta turn it off so they can finish workin' on your sweet new bod.

Which is when you finally notice that… uh…

… you're kinda lookin' like a half-finished Bonesaw-built robot, what with all the exposed silver muscles and weird-colored-metal skeleton, wire-like guts and… ugh.

You're really glad you can't see your reflection in the glass tube. Gonna need to get Saki to wipe that memory later.

"Fuck, okay," you grunt, shuddering as you switch off your power. Which… took about the same effort as before, but you don't feel the same 'holding your breath' pressure to let it re-activate - it's more a toggle than an always-on, it feels. Huh. "Done. That all you need?"

Blueface closes his eyes for a sec, then nods once before letting go of Dwarfy's shoulder and tucking both his hands into his bedsheet dress.

"Confirmed: charm effect no longer active. Thank you for your cooperation, Chosen. Resume unconsciousness so that you may be fully processed and returned to Nowhere."

You blink, then squint for a sec as you figure out what he wants…

"Uh… you want me to go back to sleep? But… my power usually turns back on when I do that."

Wide and Tall both give you a blank stare before the dwarf starts toying with his beard nervously.

"Ye… ah... ye certain 'o that, lass? Me 'an the crew dinnae get ta look'n 'a yer charm b'fore the exmachina plugged 'er in, but tha seems… eh..." he draws out wincing as he glances at Blueface, "...a mite inefficient fer summat the Maker'd fashion fer a Chosen."

You shrug. "'S how it's always been."

Big Blue takes a step forward, bland face and voice lookin' like there might be actual confusion leaking into it. "You do not understand the full working of your own charm? While it is installed and fully operational?"

"Uh, yeah?"
you snort, but manage to not gag this time from the goo going through your nose. "I haven't, like, stared at my bellybutton for a few hours yet. Gone all Zen or that bullshit, so I could get all my shit aligned and stuff."

Despite Blueberry wincing each time you drop a curse word, what you're saying doesn't seem to make him look any less confused. Beardsly squints a bit more, but makes an uncomfortable grunt a few seconds after you finish that causes Bedsheet to spin around to face him.

"Explain."

Holding up one hand cautiously to ward off McBluehimself's getting all up in his face, Beardy turns his eye back to you and wiggles his mustache in a way that makes him look constipated.

"So, ah… we been wonderin' 'bout that ourselves, what with the bits we be gettin' 'o the downloads Noi's been pass'n down tae us 'bout Nowhere and tha Herald's Assembly. Are ye sayin'... the other Chosen 've nae had their charms work'n as they should?"

"Uh, I guess?"
you shrug again, reflexively reaching up to scratch your hair-

"Wait, don't-!"

Your fingers poke into something squishy and suddenly your right eye blanks out, while your tongue tries to flip upside down in your mouth.

Ugh. Fuck. You think you may have just barfed, but all that's in you is the same goo you're floating in.

The two outside your tube give you a sec to get your shit togther again, so you close your eyes and try to be a bit clearer this time.

"Y-yeah, okay. So… Admini-... Taylor and… everyone else, they needed to, like, meditate to make everything work right? Everyone that came back had their powers acting weird at first, until they took a few hours to get in tune with their new awesomeness or something, and then their powers made sense and worked right all the time."

Blueface turns and is about to say something to you, but Shortstack puts his big, gloved hand on his chest and beats him to the punch.

"What'dya mean… 'weird'?"

"Uh…"
you pause, thinking of a good example, then laugh as one memory pops up. "Heh, yeah, like for example: Prayer's jetpack power could only go MAX SPEED whenever she turned it on - no way to go slow, just pedal to the metal or nothing. And Taylor's 'big creepy smoke spider' power scared the shit out of everyone, even if you were friendly. Saki..."

You wave a hand, absently.

"Sorry, she sorta had nightmares and shit to deal with on her own when she came out, so I didn't really see or hear anything of hers screwing up big before she got the power stuff sorted."

As robot-like as Blueface usually is, he's lookin' pretty damn furious at Gimli - who doesn't seem to really give a shit about the taller dude, and instead is sorta lookin' absently past you as he thinks while you talk.

"I was mistaken to ignore Ku's counsel," Bluey grinds out. "The secrets of the Demiurge were not fit for Firstborn-"

The dwarf tenses, but snorts a dark laugh as he shoves Cerulean Wonderboy out of his personal space.

"Aye, les' all be listen'n ta Ku. An' is 'is wisdom tha's got us an Elemental Dragon rampagin' thru tha Pole 'o Metal now!" He turns his head just enough to give the taller guy an evil eye, and points a finger back in Bluey's face. "Tha Maker 'imself spoke tae us. He gave us 'is blessin'. Ye nae wanna tread this road 'gain, Om."

Before Big Blue Blunder can sneer a response, a still-fuming Gimli turns back to you and steps close enough to poke the glass loudly enough to make it ring like a bell and do weird things to your ears. Dick.

"An' I ain't gonna stand 'ere and let ya get 'n impression we Firstborn ain't executin' Autochthon's will better'n any human. Ya got that, lass?"



… the fuck any of that mean?

"Uh?" you blink. "Sure? I mean, Taylor figure'd it was 'cause Earth is, like, um… made up of different stuff, I think she said? So it was more like the powers and stuff needed to sort of translate how to work there? I sorta tuned her out when she started making comparisons about LEGOs."

You shrug holding both empty, semi-skeletal hands up to show how many fucks you give.

"Whatever. I get everything's super freaky between here and there, and Godbot's clearly dealin' with some heavy shit himself, so whatever. You're giving me fuckin' robot bullshit magic so who gives a shit if I have to sit on my ass for a few hours to make sure it works right back home?"

You sorta have a stare-off with Dwarfy for a few seconds, until you notice Blueface behind him is giving you a weird, blank look.

Beardsalot grunts, then wipes his nose with a finger as he mutters to himself.

"Eh… Ah guess that'll do," he grumbles, taking a step away to share a quick, narrowed glance with Bluebeef. After that few seconds, he looks back to you. "Ya know, I'mma suspectin' this's part 'o tha Maker's plan; makin' ya need ta wake up, so's ya get a look 'a how's things be on this side 'o tha hole."

Bluey makes a weird, echoing sound and tilts his head slightly to look at you at a different angle. So weird.

"Through his works, we glimpse his will. Schedule time frame?"

"Heh,"
he snorts, "we be waaaay ahead, before'ny 'a this. Wasn't 'xpectin' her spirit charm 'ta be put in 'til two days from now. I ain't so sure we c'n keep'er tanked up 'till-"

"Uh... yo?"
you blurt out, swimming up to the glass. "Still right here. Not cool."

Both of them share another weird look at each other, then the dwarf shrugs.

"What? Ye sayin' ye dinnae wanna have a walkabout tha place after we put ye all-tagether?"

You pause, then squint your eyes and try to make out the rest of the room…

"I guess… whatever? This place is just like a... Tinkertech planet, right? That's more Taylor's thing - shit was kinda crazy when I left, so I'd rather you just shove me back in the hole as soon as you're done."

Uh. Judging by their stares… that... may not have been the right thing to say? Shit, quick, backpedal!

"I was kinda hoping to get some cool stuff, though, since I heard God-... err… Autochthon is like the King... Craft...guy? And none of us on the other side have the cool magic bullshit gear that Lord Grasp said He made for that huge war, when I'm pretty sure that'd make our job, like, way easier."

Slowly, Beardsly covers his face in his hands.

"How…" Bluemanchu blurts out before trailing off, still staring at you weirdly. "How do you function?"

You cross your arms over your ribcage, then lift one hand to your mouth and give him the trumpet.

"Well fuck you too, buddy. Just for that, now you're gonna give me a car."


***


Blueballs and Shorty may be able to blab nonsense bullshit about magic, but they ain't got shit on your haggling skills.

"Two cars and a lightsaber and a TV and jetpack!"

Gloved hands wring nervously between gripping at his smock in anger.

"Wh-... what-... but tha's even more'n ye just said! Make up yer blasted mind!"

"
Three cars!"

Pretty sure you just saw that blank-faced bastard's eye twitch.

"Cease your illogical demands. You are incapable of piloting more than one-"

"
Four!"

It's like they've never haggled for shit in their lives! So dumb. Still, it works out pretty well: Dwarfy says there was already a team workin' on makin' you a "Familiar" so he's gonna pass on your demand for a "car" to them while you're bein' worked put together. As for the other stuff, he said he'll just let ya look through their armory and pick out what you need.

They don't know that pretty much the only TV your mom's janky set managed to reliably get was the channel with Supermall Scatter. You've watched all five seasons... and even a few episodes of the Aleph version that they cribbed the show from. You are going to run this shit.

Still, first you gotta… get put all together.

And, because no one's sure if your pimped-up power will turn back on if you pass out, you gotta stay awake while a whole bunch of weirdos in jackets and lab coats lay you out on a slab and replace your guts and bones and eyes and skin and…

Urgh.

But there's not just dwarves here! There's some mutherfuckin' elves too! Though their ears are round? They still look totally like elves, even if they got angry you called them that. How can they be "Firstborn" like the dwarf if they're elves?!

Which, uh, may be why you didn't get any painkillers. Though they gave some lame excuse about drugs messin' up the circuits in your brain as they're workin' on it.

"Thissss… suuuuuuuuucksssssss."

"Please do not speak while we are replacing your vocal chords, Chosen."


Still. Doesn't hurt as much as… uh… that did.

"Hrhk."

"Please stop twitching, Chosen."


Close second.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"


***


So many times you're tempted to turn your power back on during that bullshit. But no, they always seemed to be in the middle of a bunch of different jobs at once, so if they all up and stopped because you made them forget you were there… you'd just be stuck on the metal slab with your guts hangin' out or your legs halfway taken apart or whatever.

Bet they did that on purpose. Fuckers.

"You appear healed, Chosen. How are you feeling?"

With a goo-clogged groan, you wiggle just enough to float towards the front of the tube and see Blue Boy staring at you again. He seems… less pole-up-ass this time, since he's actually looking normal-confused now. Voice sounds a lot smoother, too.

"Fffffuck."

Full-on shudder, not just an eye-twitch. Awesome.

"Please… do not use such vulgarity, Chosen. It is unbecoming of one of the Great Maker's paragons to speak so crudely. Ah, but forgive my own rudeness: I have not introduced myself."

Bluebutt bows at the waist, holding his right arm to his stomach like a waiter at a fancy restaurant. It gives you a good look down his toga, too.

Nice.

"I am Omnideific Martyr, the Matropolis of the Core."

Huh. This is really the same dude? Weird. He's definitely better eye-candy now, but you almost liked him better when he talked liked a robot. Less smarm.

You manage a half-squint and check around the room. Huh.

"Where… did everyone go?"

Hot Blue Bastard just looks at you for a few seconds, then motions around the empty room.

"The vat complex was evacuated after your return to the nutrient tube, in the event your return to unconsciousness would reactivate your spirt-charm," he explains, as if he's confused why you're asking. Then he pauses again and tilts his head. "My diagnostic scan confirms your physical rejuvenation, but your eight hours of rest was expected to restore a degree of your mental fortitude. Are you unwell?"



"Fucking. What?"

Head-tilt the other way.

"I have installed the necessary charms to enable proper socialization despite my deepened connection to the Great Maker, Chosen. Am I still unintelligible-?"

"You mean I could have
slept?!" you fume, balling your fists and pounding the glass. "I thought you fuckers wanted me to keep my power off! FUCK! Why didn't those twat-punching cum-shitters say so?! I've been bored outta my mind here!"

If you weren't so fucking mad, you'd probably laugh at the bastard lookin' like he's gonna gag and cry at the same time. Still, it looks like he figures out what you said a few seconds after he manages to stop being such an uptight wad, and… huh, okay, he looks actually angry now. Good.

"Disprespectful, precocious... shards! This…" he fumes, balling his own fists as he stops lookin' directly at you. "This heresy shall not be tolerated! I welcome them as the Maker's lost children, Autochthon himself grants them his gift of knowledge, we allow their involvement instead of the Maker's chosen humans, and now they recklessly endanger-!"

Uh… maybe not good. Like, you're definitely gonna kick those dudes in the dick when you see them next, but the way he's mutterin' now sounds… familiar.

"Hey, uh-"

"-quarantined. We must ascertain whether their... Creation bias is not tainting-"

Oh shit.

"Whoa there, Blueballs! It's… cool your tits, man. I ain't that mad. And Gimli seems pretty chill about hookin' me up with the good shit, so I can just ask for more time to grab stuff in exchange for his bros bein' douche-coats."

Good, throwin' out curses seems to break his stride. Serves him right.

"Please, Chosen," he finally manages to whine, after taking a few seconds to quit spazzing out. "I understand your… vernacular may be limited, but surely you understand your status as a beacon of hope for us? Your words carry weight… even the ones I believe you made up just now."

You backhand the glass absently and give him a good 'try the other one' glare.

"Says the dude spoutin' some Empire Eight-Eight, 'seig-heil' shit. Cut that crap out, and maybe I'll clean my filthy fuckin' mouth a bit."

He wiggles a bit.

"I... don't understand?"

You blink. "Oh. I guess you don't have Nazis here, huh? Uh… so yeah, you were being super racist. That's shitty. Just because they're dwarves and elves doesn't mean it's cool to treat them any differently than people."

For all he's been lookin' normal, now he's givin' you that blank-faced stare again.

"But… they are different. Jadeborn and humans are fundamentally-"

"Shhhp-"
you interrupt, making the 'zip it' motion. "No."

He winces, holding his hands up.

"But their dietary-!"

"No! Nuh uh! Bad racist! Stop it!"


Pansy-ass bastard makes a few more tries to weasel out some racist excuses, but eventually you get through his deep blue skull that being a shitbird will not be tolerated by the Assembly Of Awesomeness And Savers Of Everything.

"I… apologize for my… ignorance. I will defer to the…" he sighs, running a hand through his crystal-hair, "wisdom of the Chosen of the Great Maker."

"Damn straight,"
you nod. Then wince. Might as well... "Oh. Uh. Darn straight."

He blinks a few times, opens his mouth as if to ask you something, then rubs his face and shakes his head.

Yeah, buddy, be thankful you're not Saki. She'd fix his racist ass by blowing his brains out with weaponized hotness-...

Oh, shit! That's right!

"Hey, Blue! Is Sakura around?"

He frowns. "Cherry... blossom? That is from a type of organic tree?"

Fuckin'. Facepalm.

"Wha… what do trees-? Whatever! No, man - Saki's sister! The twin of the last 'Chosen'? She got left here 'cause Autobot didn't have enough juice to send both of them back?"

Any trace of tiredness at your awesomeness fades away as Blue stands up straight and gets right up close to the glass with a seriously serious look on his face.

"Torrek spoke of a bizarre mutation possessed by Warden of Reflected Infinities - that the magics of the Great Maker obscured its nature from even the Demiurges amongst his team. So... what do you mean, 'twin'?"

You blink a few times and float back so he's not up in your face.

"You know… twin siblings? Like, two people born at the same time that look the same? Saki's power had a bunch of stuff showing that Sakura was over here doing things, and… uh… oh yeah, Taylor said that Iris figure'd Auto sealed off her side to make sure his robo-cancer didn't spread to Earth."

His eyes glow purple as you can practically see gears in his head- oh, wait. Those are actual gears in his eyes.

Bullshit robot magic, right.

"You have confirmation that a Chosen of the Great Maker is… here? Were they… constructed elsewhere...?"

You hold your hands up and shrug.

"Man, don't ask me. Bullsh… Bullpoop magic and Autobotworld stuff is Taylor and her Doom Ball's whole thing. Ask them."

For a split-second he starts to sigh, but then blinks and scrunches up his face.

"'Doom Ball'?"

"Uh, yeah… Taylor's familiar?"
you wince and rub the back of your bald head. "Don't tell him I called him that. Really."

He just sorta… twitches... then keeps staring at you.

"No memory logs have shown Enduring Order Administrator possessing a familiar, and she was not sent one. Did she... craft it herself?"

Huh?

"I don't… think so? She said he's, like, Auto's… fetish ball or something?"

… he goes perfectly still.

"What."


***


Blueboy drops the whole 'being human' act and grills you for details on Taylor's Big Ball 'o Fuck-You-In-Particular-Simurgh, but even if you sorta were able to remember some stuff Big Blue didn't exactly explain anything back. So after a few minutes of explaining stuff like "It's a big black ball," and "It does what it wants," and, "It ate Taylor and brain-jacked a whole city," eventually Toga Boy just up and walks away...

… into the nearest wall.

But not like in a funny way, and not because there was a secret door there. Like, straight-up into the wall. Some sort of Mover power, you guess, since he doesn't even leave his bedsheet behind.

Which, you know. Dick move. Could'a at least said "thank you for being so awesome, Aisha." Or "let me go get a bunch of robo-studs to give you a massage for your aching everything, Aisha."

And of course, now that you know that you're allowed to go to sleep, you don't really feel like it. Sorta got worked up there with the racist bullshit he was poppin' off with. Guess it's back to trying to blow bubbles in the goo-

...

Wait. What was… that?

You can't really hear or see anything farther than a few feet away from the tube so… maybe something from the doorway at the other end of the room? Ugh, sounds get all weird with the echo in here and the warbling through the goo-

There's a snap-hiss like you remember hearing when the door opens, and suddenly there's a whole bunch of dwarfs and elves talking over each other and makin' it impossible to understand what they're sayin' beyond a few bits and pieces.

"-thurized, misuszin'-"
"-at is because you
fail to recognize when rules must be-"
"-supply'n mah rotory-"
"-aker, there ya go on a'gain 'bout-"


At least you can tell the elves and the dwarves' voices apart, since the dwarfs have that ridic Scottish accent and the elfs… well, it's like they kinda have the same accent but actually say the words 'nstead of just mumblin' them like the shorties. Must be the stick up their asses that's also makin' 'em walk so stiff.

Whatever. You've got a score to settle.

"Hey! Thundercunts!" you yell, pounding on the glass tube to make a point as the group goes quiet. "Why the fuck didn't you say I could go to sleep when you left! I thought I still had to stay awake 'n case my power went back on!"

There's not much of a reaction that you can see, since they're still mostly a big blob of colors through the goo and thick glass, but you don't hear anything in the way of a response so you're pretty sure they got that you're pissed off at them. Well… not actually angry angry, but… whatever. You get what you mean.

Orrr… maybe they don't get that?

Big Blue did seem to take whatever you said pretty seriously. Like… way more seriously than you're used to being taken, honestly. And from the bits and pieces you remember of Taylor's big presentation on Roboland, Alchemicals are supposed to be a Big Fuckin' Deal, right? And you're like… even bigger than that, since you and Taylor and everyone are basically Autobot's last hope?

Ehhhh… maybe better clear things up. Razz 'em a bit more so they don't shit themselves in panic.

You pound once more on the glass.

"So yeah! That car better be fuckin' pimped out as shit! Like, with a pool and a fishtank!"

The blob shifts in colors and shape a bit and you think you hear some mumbling over the gurgling of your goo tank, until a few seconds later Gimili himself slowly waddles close enough to your tank to see clearly. He's stroking his awesome beard in thought, but his one eye is lookin' at you like he knows he fucked up but doesn't wanna lose face.

"Ah'm… naht so sure me'n the crew understood ye, lass," he grumbles, clearing his throat while usin' his spare hand to pull up his tool-filled belt a bit. "Ye mean 't say ye di'n't knock off when we put ye back 'n there?"

"No~pe,"
you drawl out, poppin' the p.

"... ye been awake tha whole time?"

"Eeyyy~uup."

"Ahh…"
he coughs again, lookin' at you strangely with that one dark-green eye of his. "An... why'd ye think ye needed our permission ta do... anything?"

You scowl back at him. "Uh… 'cuz you're the ones puttin' me together, and my power fucked with all your heads before? And you're the ones hookin' me up with the sweet bullshit swag, so… you know. Be cool to your dealer and all that shit."

Not that you ever wanted to do drugs after all the shit your mom dragged home, but she made you pick up drops every so often anyway to earn your "allowance." You skimmed when you could, of course, but you found out the hard way that bein' shifty with dealers is a quick way to get in deep shit.

… These guys seems cool and not likely to haul you off into an alley, but whatever. Reason stands.

Gimi's just starin' at you for a long bit, until he glances back to the rest of his crew for a sec before turnin' back to you and crossin' his big, beefy arms over his dirty leather apron.

"An… what if I told ye tha' we decided we ain't gonna be givin' ye any artifacts ta take back?"

You blink, bobbing in the goo for a bit.

"Uh… the fuck? Why not?"

Shorty just shrugs. But… there's something… off in his voice.

"We'r'n tha middle 'o a war, 'n resources 're tight. Not tha' we we 're swimmin' in orichalcum ta begin wit', but… may be we jus dinnae like yer tone."

You roll your eyes.

"Yeah, right," you sigh, snorting up a lungfull of goo as you lean against the glass. "What gives? I told Blueballs to cut it out with the racist shit before you guys got here, so… what? Does he treat you guys like-..."

… Wait.

Oh shit.

You spin around in the tank, putting both palms flat on the glass as you stare him in the eye.

"Hold up. Are you guys… like, actual slaves?"

… he doesn't immediately say 'no', but just as you think you feel the goo around you start to bubble and you're gettin' so fuckin' pissed-...

He holds up a hand to stop you from bustin' out of this fuckin' tank and shoving your foot so far up Blue Bastard's ass he'll be tasting your new while-metal toenails.

"Nay, lass, but..." he shakes his head, letting out a long sigh, "... we Firstborn ain't had tha best history wit' Exalted. Ye… eh…" he pauses again, meeting your eyes with his one. "... Whaddye know 'bout Creation?"

You frown. "Uh. I wanna say 'It's a word for makin' stuff' but... I can, like, tell you used a proper name so… I dunno?"

He grumbles something in a weird language you don't know and there's an also-grumbled response from the crew behind him. You open your mouth to ask what's up, but he waves it away again.

"Tha Solar Exalted? Chosen o' tha Unconquered Sun?"

You tilt your head, because da fuck?

"Wait... the sun was another big god guy like Autobot? How did that work?"


He winces and there's more grumbling from the crew behind him, but he quickly shakes his head to cut 'em off.

"Ach. Tha's a history lesson we dinnae 've time for, but… tha long and short 'o it: use'ta be there were a bunch 'o different Exalted types. Solar, Lunar, Sidereal, Dragonblooded... 'an some others. But Solar were tha... bosses, ye'd say, an... we Firstborn 're... bound so we couldn'a said 'No' if they wanted us 'ta make 'em things. An it dinnae take'm long ta figure out they dinn't have ta ask politely."

One of your balled fists punches the glass as you growl.

"... But they're all fuckin' dead now, right?"

More wincing, which is confusing? But Gimili and the rest of his crew eventually make a few grunts of agreement before Shortstack himself finally shrugs it off.

"'S been o'er two thousand years since we got 'ere, lass. None 'o us 're left tha e're met any, but… tales say Solars got what were commin' ta them - an then some - 'fore tha whole 'a Creation fell ta Oblivion. 'N no matter what, they dinnae deserve that. No-one did."

You purse your lips in thought. "Then… what happened to 'em? And why aren't there any of those other Exalted here, if just the Sun-guys were the dicks?"

He shrugs his huge shoulders.

"Tha Viator dinnae talk much, 'cordin' to tha tales, 'n I ain't keen on askin' 'im if 'e e're pops back up again."

"'Viator'?"
you ask, squinting. "I… think I heard that name before…"

Eh, probably just some name Taylor said in passing. Or maybe a cape? Bunch of weird shit has the same name back home as it does here, apparently. You shake your head and point at Gimli, who's blinking in surprise.

"Whatever. Even if you're not fuckin'... slaves… anymore, it still sounds like things are pretty shit here for you guys. We gotta straighten these fuckers out before I leave."

Gimli frowns, and you hear the crew behind him murmur some stuff in that harsh language of theirs - enough to make him turn around and bark some shit back at 'em for a bit. They go at it for a few, but eventually he shakes one of his big gloved fists at the rest of 'em to pipe down, and then turns back to you with a look you've seen a lot of on Taylor.

"Lass… we're used ta bein' second-rate behind tha humans an Exalted because tha's tha word 'o tha Divine Ministers. Now... ye may be Chosen by tha Godhead o' tha Great Maker Hisself, but ye ain't gonna be changin' anythin' o'ernight…" he sighs, shoulders slumping as he looks up at you. "An'... maybe 'taint tha best time ta be up-endin' tha social strata? We gots bigger problems right now than a few jagged edges pokin' us e'ry so often."

But before you can bitch at him that that's just what The Man wants him to do, the crew behind Gimli starts shuffle forward.

"Your words are appreciated, nonetheless, Chosen," one of the elfs says, while the rest of the crew stepping up behind Gimli nod in agreement. They're lookin' at you all weird, too, as if they're havin' a hard time believing that you are so awesome. A few of 'em mutter similar "oh man Aisha you're so amazing" words of praise, but... you shrug it off. It's fun sometimes, but now they're just makin' things weird.

"Eh… keep it in yer pants," you grumble, waving their words away because you haven't really done anything. "I... guess we still got some serious shit to deal with first. But… I'm still gonna make sure Taylor and the rest of the crew know we gotta fix this racist crap when all 'a this is over."

"Thank ye, Chosen!" / "Yes!" / "Aye!"/ "Praise the Maker!"


Ugh. This is why you told the PRT Image guys you didn't want to deal with crowds. Feels wrong.

You're tempted to flip your power on and off just to shut 'em up… but Gimli seems to catch on that you're not really comfortable with all the bowing and praising.

"Ach, enough scrapin' ye sorry lot - les' get 'er outta there for a final check" he grumbles, making a few rude gestures to the rest of the crew to send them scurrying back to their positions around the room. Walking over to one of the panels near the side of the tank, Gimli himself keeps his eye on you as the goo starts to bubble and churn from whatever bullshittery they're prepping next.

"... ye still wanna grab some artifacts fer tha road?"

You start to grin, but wince as you realize-...

"... ugh, fuck. I guess demandin' shit from you before was a dick move what with-"

There's a loud bong that rings your ears as he backhands the tank glass.

"Ah! Fucker!"

"I dinnae fasten a brown jade nose ter yer face, Chosen. You makin' use 'a yer Husk Sculptin' Apparatus charm already?"




You place both middle fingers tight against the glass, just to make sure he can see them clearly.

"Five cars, motherfucker!"

You lose the sound of his laughter in the toilet-like flushing of your tank.


***


Their "final check" is just them pokin' you with needles that zap and hammers that thwack. Kinda like those rubber mallets cartoons say doctors have to test yer reflexes, or somethin'. Never seen one yourself - and before you joined the PRT, you hadn't even seen a legit doctor before - but these guys hit your kneecaps with the definitely-not-rubber hammers and your legs bounced like in the cartoons so… you guess it makes sense?

You're a robot now, so… yeah. Real hammers for metal knees. Checks out.

One of the big things they ask first when they're pokin' and poundin' (heh) is how yer charms are workin' out. You… don't really know how to answer that, since you can kinda feel all the new powers but they're all just... kinda fuzzy. Like a bundle of lint balls stuck to the inside of your shirt. Except not in shirt but in your head and chest.

Wrong answer, apparently, since that makes them all groan and bitch and you think you catch them wonderin' if they should just open you back up and put you back together again.

"Yeah, I'm gonna cut you off and say 'fuck that'. I just need to… you know, think on 'em and stuff! Same as Taylor and Prayer and Saki."

The tallest elf with the green hair and a weird glowing-hammer tattoo over his right eye is the one standin' over your slab when you yell at 'em, and his face does a weird dance as you figure he wants to tell you off but also wants to know more and also doesn't want to piss you off because he worships the ground you walk on.

You're alright with that last bit.

"Chosen, do you-"

"Also, why the fuck does no one want to use my actual name?"
you snort, this time without goo coming out of your nose. You'd wave your arms, but they're kinda plugged in (like the rest of you) to the you-shaped impression in the metal slab-table that pops out of the floor near your tank. "Like, I get that Taylor and Godbot 'chose' me, but-... oh, wait, shit - is it a religious thing? Is it actually a sin for mortals to call me by my real name?"

Man
are you glad you're basically a saint to these guys and can't really be a heretic; you're pretty sure the choking sounds and awkward expressions you're causing are because they can't bury you under bibles or burn you at the stake. And these guys are the chill ones - Blueballs would probably explode if he could hear you now.

Green Elf pinches the bridge of his prim-as-fuck nose with the hand not holding a magic tablet-paper-thing. "Typically, Champions volunteer their names when they first awaken, or - if they do not initially possess a name upon first emerging from their vat - in the days afterwards. We… presumed-"

"Yeah, but, I already have a name, from before,"
you grumble, wiggling your head just a tiny bit so you can meet his eyes. "And you guys said you, like, saw my memories or some shit, so you can just call me that: What Memory Serves."

He blinks at you. The rest of the crew is silent.

You blink.

Then you strain at the plugs all along your body keeping you attached to the table, because you really want to double-facepalm right now.

"Fuckin'... really, RoboGod? That too?" you groan, closing your eyes. "That's not…"

...

Except…



Well, it… did sorta feel... right? Like something you'd forgotten for a long time, but finally just remembered.

Stranger powers are fucked up, man. And yeah, you do get to say that because you know how fucked your own power is.

Eh, fuck it. Rolling with it.

Opening your eyes, Greenie looks like he's a kid on Christmas strugglin' to hold back from tearing into a pile of presents. From the whispered, rapid-fire dwarf-language you hear around you, the others are probably freakin' out that they get to be the first ones to hear your new Robo Saint name.

"Fiiiiine... you can call me that."

And then they all promptly lose their shit. You even hear a few cracks and pops that sound like-

Sniff. Sniff.

"Whoa, hey! The fuck?! Get your drink on after you're done operatin' on me!"



***


It takes them a bit to get back to work, and you even have to yell at a few not to go runnin' off to tell their friends until they're done with their current job: you.

What you said earlier about just needin' to 'think' about your new powers gets them thinking, once they're all back to business. Since you don't even know the names of all your new fancy bullshit, they figure… well, will just going through the list work?

You remember Taylor talking about how she mentally thought about each of her powers and what it must look like… but these guys are the ones who put that shit in you - they know exactly what each new bit looks like and where they stuffed it into your new bod and are super enthusiastic about explaining how they work. It's… uh… kinda weird and kinda cool at the same time?

Not that you understand the magic bullshit parts, or even anything more than general biology stuff like "spine" and "brain" and "heart." Kinda kicking yourself over not paying attention to your Biology classes. You're at least grateful they seem so into it, because even if you can't understand or remember much beyond the names of the new bullshit you've got access to… there's still a lot of names to keep track of.

Too many to even keep in your body at one time! They had to plug some into you and then take them out to make room for more! Which is kinda fuckin' ridiculous, but you're not gonna turn down even more awesome magic powers even if they've basically turned you into a badass super-Swiss Army Knife.

Apparently you'll be able to swap your powers out and around in your car? They said that with a straight face, so you just rolled with it, but… yeah, totally gonna ask about that before they send you back home.

On the bright side, keeping track of all the new powers isn't as hard as you thought it might be. You were never very good at memorizing shit like Taylor does, but one of your new powers is literally just a flat boost to your smarts. And they installed two of it. Probably explains why you're havin' an easier time remembering things Taylor talked about, too.

Even still, you just know you're gonna forget a lot of what they said today, so you tell Greenie to write down everything they've been saying in a book or tablet or whatever and send it back with you. And to include your own "easier to remember" summaries that you've been doing at the end of each explanation. Greenie didn't like that last bit, but you looked him in the eyes until he started squirmin' and agreed.

Damn. You wish it were that easy with the PRT.


***


APPENDIX: TRANSCRIBED MUSINGS FROM WHAT MEMORY SERVES

Opening Note From Transcriber, Jade Visions, The Chosen Of Nowhere's Senior Prolific Scholar of the Furnace Transcendent:

What Memory Serves insisted these be sorted alphabetically according to her "normal" language, "English," despite the order in which we reviewed them at the time. We eagerly anticipate your fruitful efforts at converting Nowhere to proper Old Realm, Enduring Order Administrator.

I have chosen to keep these transcriptions apart from the Charm schematics collected within this dataslate in order to facilitate future historians' work immortalizing the words of Autochthon's Chosen Champions; given your reported skill with your
Technographic Integration Engine charm, I have faith that this segregation will not impede your research and understanding, Enduring Order Administrator.

What follows are
What Memory Serves' exact words during our review of her initial Charm panopoly prior to her return to Nowhere - as truthful to her standard speech patterns as Old Realm allows, despite how confusing they tend to be for those of us not as enlightened into the Movements and Wisdoms of the Great Maker. I apologize for any difficulties this may cause, and pray that you may divine your Assembly members' true intents and insights from my rudimentary efforts.

Blessings of Autochthon be with You and Your Fellow Chosen.

Jade Visions
Artisan Caste Firstborn
Senior Prolific Scholar of the Furnace Transcendent
Chosen of Nowhere Vat Complex
Om



---


4th Dexterity Augmentation
Uh… I guess this just does what it says it does? Make me all… super dextrous? But I've got two of these, 'cause they stack together easy? Bunch of tubes filled with moonsilver and stuff through my body and bones. No mods.

4th Intelligence Augmentation
Another Four-Aug, but this one makes me smarter! Not sure what that really means, but I'll probably figure it out because, hey, smarter! These two (because of course they put two of a Four-Aug in, duh) are a couple 'a microchips in the back of my brain. No mods.

4th Manipulation Augmentation
A power that helps me trick people and lie better - but not like a specific thing, just a general always-on boost. Fuckin' awesome. Like the other Four-Augs, got two of these microchips plugged into front of my brain since they're like puzzle pieces. No mods.

4th Stamina Augmentation
Another Four-Aug, but this makes me tougher and lets me last longer. <Laughter> <Increased Laughter When Transcriber Expressed Visible Discomfort With This Innuendo> Yeah, yeah, you like that, huh? You got me-... oh, right, uh… it's the chunks of rock-metals on the backs of my legs, abs, and shoulders. No mods.

Accelerated Response System
[Legs - Dodge]

Hah! Okay, you only need to take this part down: FUCKING BRING IT BLADEDANCER. What's next?

Alloyed Reinforcement of Flesh
Tireless Pneumatic Musculature

This is the power that let Prayer get blasted in half and survive! … What? Oh, yeah, Taylor's familiar ate her and then took over her power and Prayer had to fight him until Taylor got control back. … Look, I know you guys don't know about her familiar or whatever, Bluestreak flipped out about it earlier okay? Let's just get through this first so I don't have to- yeah, yeah, right so this is lots of flexible plates along my bones and muscles. Mods let me not be tired for a full day without sleep… hey, wait, how does that work with my other 'no sleep' power? … Okay, they don't know so I guess we'll find out when I get back.

Aura Dampening Component
Hey, this is one of the charms that Autobot made a better version of, like Saki's creepy mind-control spike! They're saying that the version they had here before we came along couldn't be used to hide when you use any powers, just stealth powers. Anyway, it's a bunch of white rock-metal heatsinks above my ass. A tramp stamp that's actually useful. But, uh, probably gonna hide it anyway.

Chemical Fog Generator
Tear Gas
Psychogenic Gas
Sense-Destroying Gas
Clandestine Toxin System
Vectored Toxin Deployment

I… Ugh. I really want to be excited about this power, but these fuckers put the vents in my goddamned armpits. How can I be excited about tear gas powers when they come from my pits?! Listen- yeah- I know- No, just shut up for a sec: I don't care how many times you say you couldn't fit them around my neck with everything else - you can fit like a dozen powers in my fucking brain! Ugh. Okay… um, so. Right. This power is basically just the vents, with the actual stuff it makes as mods you code into it: tear gas, fuckin... LSD gas, ugh... and gas that melts your eyes or ears or nose or skin or tongue or whatever one you want. The two other mods change how I can dish it out: one makes the gas invisible, and the other squirts out the gas into a grenade so it doesn't always look like I'm the middle of it. Man, I swear, if you guys had put this power coming out of my ass I'd- <Unrelated, Unnecessary Threats>

Dynamic Reaction Enhancement System
Subsynaptic Accelerator
Cluster Action Hyperprocessor

This is the charm that lets Taylor and Prayer go all bullet-time, right? Okay, yeah, thought so. I mean, it's awesome, and I can probably do it better than them because I'm me, but nothing super new here. It's even a bunch of wires in my spine like they're saying Taylor and Prayer have it. Mods let me go bullet-time with anything that my Four-Aug boosts, but not really sure how I could… like, lie super fast? Eh, I'll figure it out. Another mod lets me use the power a bunch of times in a row so I can do a bunch of things in slow-mo not just one.

Essence Irradiation Corona
Optimized Trauma Upgrade

This is part of Prayer's big super-punch, right? … Okay, yeah, I thought this sounded familiar. It's… uh, not the whole punch, just the lightning-explosion part at the end. Not… really sure why I have this? I mean, everything we've talked 'bout so far is just cool powers to make me the best spy ever. We've got Prayer for turning people into ex-people with flashy shit… oh, I've got flashy combat powers, too? … oh, so I'm a glass cannon? Eh, I guess that explains why I have that "don't die when you're killed" power like Prayer-... No, we don't actually build cannons out of- it's a term for capes that- ugh, fine, I'll stay focused. Um… right, this is the crystal rods inside my arms that fold out. And, uh, the mod makes it hit harder in a way that goes right through armor? That's pretty bullshit. Apparently I don't have the other mods that Prayer does, though... eh, I'll make it work.

Gyroscopic Stability System
Stabilizer Beacon

So, like, I've got all these powers to help with my dexterity and all, but this just… automagically makes me never fall over when I turn it on? I guess it's so I don't have to think about balancing on stuff or tripping over things in the middle of a fight or something-... oh, okay, they're saying that's exactly what it's for. Makes sense. Why didn't they give Saki this? She's always trippin' on shit and falling on people since she got back. Anyway, this-... no, I don't know why she is. She didn't say anything was wrong? It's always… ugh… super cute when she does it, so maybe she's just fuckin' with us? Anyway... this looks like a hearing aide on my right ear - oh! Taylor, did you know your sense of balance comes from your… wait, no, she probably already knows that. Don't write that last part down. Uh… so, mod, right: turns this into a sixty-foot-wide Shaker power that makes enemies wobbly and my buddies get this power's effect.

Husk Sculpting Apparatus
Self-Sculpt
Identity Distortion Mirage
Vocal Modulator Field

Saki's charm that lets her not always be, like, paint-the-walls-with-your-brains pretty. But she didn't tell us that it can be also be used to make her - or me! - look like anyone. Oh man I can't wait to get back and-... <Laughter> Oh, right, yeah, sorry. Uh, it works through hooking into the Transmog power and boosting that with inks and shit. Mods let me make permanent changes, make changes bulshit-hard to see through, and change my voice to basically anything. <More Laughter>

Imprinted Data Cluster
[NONE], [NONE], [NONE]

So, this is like that Tranny Implants power that's powers-within-a-power... except this is, like, skillz-within-a-power? They say this is a pretty common power for Alchies here to have in the bank, since it basically lets you be an expert on three different things that you get to choose whenever you get it plugged in. Need 'ta know how to paint? Bam, go back and plug this in. Though they say this usually adds to whatever skill you have, but not... always? It's, like, a boost at one specific thing, so they say that guys that use this a lot tend to go for jack-of-all-trades builds and use this to boost whatever they need right now. Kinda cool, but they didn't load anything into this 'cause it's not in the powers I can fit when I go back. Gonna have to play around with this when I get back to- uh, right, sure. This is another bunch of crystals in my brain hooked together with wires that hook up 'ta my soulgem. Which is... weird. Whatever. No mods, but they did say if I ever get a chance to grab more powers I can stack more of these together? Heh, I guess I'd be like Uber or something like that. Wonder whatever happened to- right, right. Next?

Incomparable Efficiency Upgrade
Hypercalibration Benediction

Right, this is Taylor's Thinker-boost, Cape-boost power… but these guys have no idea why this works like that on Earth. It's supposed to just let you work on shit faster, not, like give you a bunch of extra yous in your head. They're asking me to say now that they-... okay, yeah, they're being super polite about it and stuff, but you get the idea. Anyway, Taylor, when you read this: talk with whoever you're picking next and explain why you think this boosts Cape powers so these guys can get the memory of that talk from them. Right. Uh, this is a bunch of crystals all in my joints and nerves. Mod lets me boost other people instead of just myself. Next?

Industrial Survival Frame
Crystal
Lightning
Metal
Oil
Smoke
Steam
Sixfold Transcendence Synergy

This is the power that lets you ignore Ziz and Behemoth and all those other cape powers! And, like, a whole ton of extra shit, too, according to them - though they're still confused how there's... "sharping?" Right, "shaping"... how there's any of that at all back home when there's no magic there? Because they're saying that shaping is usually because of crazy magic or "Wyld" which... heh, they brought up what they saw of Amelia and man there's definitely some weird crossover shit going on because they were really nervous about her and why she calls her team that? They said there was this whole thing in Creation with-... okay, right, just make a note to bring this up to Taylor when I get back. Uhh... yeah, this power is the gold lines all over my body that go up to the top of my skull. Mods... whew, okay. Usually can only turn on one mod at a time, buuut... Mods: protect me from shaping stuff and from random normal-nature stuff, protects against fire, lightning, and energy shit so fuck you Behemoth, protects against heavy metal shit like traps and stuff, protects from acid, protects from poison, protects from crazy pressure and temperatures like bottom-of-the-sea kind of stuff, and finally the last mod lets me activate all of those other mods at once... which I bet you have active, like, twenty-four-seven, Taylor. Not judging - I'm totally gonna have it up non-stop too!

Integrated Artifact Transmogrifier
Loom Server Migration
Essence-Muting Baffles

Make me look human and hide all my other powers so I look even sleeker and sexier. It's lots of little holes all over my skin. Taylor had this one, I think, before she went all glowy, so make a note in there to remind me to rub this in her face. Has mods that make me blend in with Earth, and let me hide all the "magic" bit about my bullshit magical robot-ness.

Interpolative Syntax Emulator
Infallible Fluency Vocoder

Man, I am just fuckin' Jane Bonding it up in here with these powers. And I don't care what Dennis says, the newer movies are better than the old ones with the dude playing her, and Aleph is dumb for still having a dude version! Ellie Roper is fuckin' amazing-... oh. Uh, sorry. Did you guys get to see any of those movies from my memories? ... Damn, okay, see if you can dig them up when I leave, they're sweet. ...Aaaanyway, this lets me permanently learn any language I listen to! Oh, can I learn your guys' language that you've been using-... oh, this doesn't fit with my initial loadout. Damn. I'll have to swap things around when I get back to learn a bunch of stuff so I can make my disguises better. <Laughter> ... Right, right. Uh... this is a bunch of wires through my brain hooked up to a little ball near my left ear. Mod lets me learn accents, not just languages! <More Laughter>

Manifold Transhuman Implants
[Supernatural Quickness] (Abomination)
[Inexhaustible] (Affliction)

Okay they had to, like, explain this a few times to me: it's a power that has space for other powers that you can customize from a huge list they have here. Think Eidolon except some of his powers cost more 'slots' and some cost less. Problem is, once I'm back home I'm sorta stuck with what they gave me now, which isn't too bad… I guess? This jackoff won't let me see the whole list of what they could give me- says it'd take too long. Whatever. Anyway, they gave me a huge Mover power that makes me way faster just moving around, and a smaller power that makes me basically never tired and never need to sleep. Hey, I can keep Miss Militia and Weld company at night, now! <Laughter>

Momentum Redirection Pulse Injector
So you know how I have super-jumps now? Well this allows me to double-jump in mid-air, like in a fighting game! These guys don't have video games here, by the way, if you needed any more proof that this place needs saving. The power is a bunch of nozzles on the outside of my shins, kinda like wingboots. … Oh, uh, you have actual wingboots here? Weird, but whatever - I don't need 'em now.

Omnitools Implant
Comprehensive Surgical Systems
Secondary Telefractor Assembly

<Laughter> I got your make-anything-hands, Taylor! Except my hands and arms aren't super edgy and black but, like, liquid-metal and slick as fuck like all my other powers. They told me I'm not instantly gonna be as good a cook as you, though, 'cause that takes know-how, so you're still on kitchen duty. Uh… right. Mods for surgery that fix people up automagically, and mods to make sure anything I make are at least not junk.

Optical Shroud
Dynamic Cloaking Module
Sense-Countering Upgrades
Echo Chamber Vocalization

Yeah, your super-invisibility, Taylor. I was thinking I was gonna swap this out like these guys said I can but then they mentioned what the mods do and I remembered that you use this to hide from cape powers! Pretty sure no one can track me if I use this with my remixed cape-power-... <Laughter> … Okay, right, order. Uh, this power why I look like I jumped in a tub of glitter if I'm not hiding the power - it's a ton of sand-sized crystals all through the top of my skin. But yeah, the mods: lets me keep invisible even when I run, upgrades it from just invisibility to letting me hide from fuckin' powers, and lets me throw my voice! I don't even need to be invisible to do the voice trick, too! Yeah, keeping this one plugged in.

Parabolic Leap Overcharger Device
Super-jumps! But… kinda? Like what a bunch of the non-Alexandria Package Brutes do to get around, I guess, but the way these guys explained this sorta isn't really a solo power but is more designed to work with all the other powers I have that make me faster and lighter. They call it a 'multiplier' power. I… uh… haven't really paid attention in Algebra, but I think I know what they mean by that. Wait, no, scratch that out Taylor'll make me go to school if she reads that. … Did you scratch that out? Okay. Um, right, this is the disks on the outside of my knees. Next power!

Paramagnetic Tether Beam
Recursive Force Suspension
Cohesion Buffer
Psychokinetic Reinforcement Array

Hey, Prayer has this one, I think! It sounds like her invisible grapple-hook and- oh, okay, yeah, Greenie's saying Prayer does have this. Though it also sounds like it can do way more than just be a grapple? Hey, make a note in there to talk with Prayer when I get back about that. Uh… okay, how it fits: it's tubes in my forearms that extend out to my palms. Mods are to lock shit I grab with it in place, extend my range, and make my grabbing power with it stronger.

Pheromone Regulation Systems
Instinctual Aversion Formula
Biochemical Lozenge Machine

… More stink powers. That'll make me look like I have sweating problems when I use it if I don't hide it with my Transmog power. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Can't you make your Stranger and Master powers not super embarrassing?! … Okay, sorry, I just needed to make sure you wrote that down - I get that GodBot picked out these charms, so He's the one with the stinky girl fetish, not you guys. … Anyway, this is basically Dean's emotion-shoving power, except silent and invisible instead of big 'ol glowing balls of "Hey Look At Me!" Which… actually this is pretty scary when you put it like that. Taylor, fix this part up before the PRT reads it, alright? Yeah, so, this power is all those extra "glands" under my skin in my joints. And the mods, uh: scare-animals-away stink, and… uh… squirt out a roofie version of the stink I can use later to spike drinks and holy Jesus fuck what- <Unrelated Unorthodox Profanity>

Personal Gravity Manipulation Apparatus
The power that makes Prayer not fat! Well, not weigh as much - because have you seen dat ass? Wait wait- you guys made dat ass. <Brief, Interrupted Laughter> Hold up. My ass is better, right? I can't move like this, so I can't check right now. <Laughter At Discomfort Of Transcriber> Oh, lighten up, elfy - learn to roll with a joke like the dwarves. Uh, okay, right, this also lets me walk on walls and ceilings, like Prayer and that cape in Atlanta. It's the gold and white wavy-things along the back of my thighs and calves.

Radiant Iconography Display
Chromatic Lies

Saki's Shaker power that lets her make illusions! And I checked with the guys here, and they think it'll work with my remixed para-power and my invisibility power as long as I make the illusions far enough away from me. Oh maaan, I can't wait to test this out- <Laughter That Bodes Ill For The Foes Of The Great Maker> … Ah, hah, okay, right. This, uh, is the gold trim along my ribs and up my back. Mod lets me use this for any little thing I want to try instead of only with big, showboat stuff... which explains how Saki keeps using this for everything. Huh. Nice. Next?

Shard of Safeguarded Discovery
Detritus Defragmentation
Memetic Guardian Protocols
Cascading Memory Fault

My old para-power, remixed! I can toggle it now instead of having to keep focusing on holding it back. Not sure if it works exactly the same, but it was strong enough that it totally Stranger-dangered this whole building they were making me in when GodBot installed it. Like before it's in my brain, except that is just a portal to some other big space where a giant spirit is... hanging out and doing all the hard work? What the actual fuck. GodBot literally prevents these guys from lookin' at it too hard, so Greenie make a note to ask Taylor about that when I get back. It's also got mods that probably let it do other stuff, but we can't tell what they do now.

Technomorphic Integration Engine
Precursor Technology Absorption
Endodiagnostic Analytical Routines
Pattern-Mending Integration
Instant Aegis Upgrade
Resonance Harmonizer

It's your pocket-dimension power, Taylor! Same gold-and-grey disk in the middle of my tits, too! It's even got all the mods you have, too, though they said there was some weird stuff going on when they were putting me together that didn't let the "know everything" mod fit in until they took it out and put it back in. Yeah, I make sure to give Greenie here shit for how he phrased that, too. Anyway, all the mods: yoink non-magic stuff, know everything about what I grab, fix up what I nab while it's stored, insta-armor equip from storage, and three installs of the mod that makes it cheaper to pop out magic shit. Hey, I just realized: Prayer is the only one of us that can't shove infinite amounts of stuff inside our- <Unrelated Innuendo Followed By Laughter At Inspired Discomfort Of Transcriber>

Perfected Lotus Matrix
Lotus Filament Conduction

<This Charm is listed out of alphabetical order, but it was the final Charm we reviewed together. This is because What Memory Serves did not provide commentary, or clarification regarding its use, appearance, or submodules... save for laughter for five uninterrupted minutes after being told that we received the Charm from the Great Maker's attendant servants already containing a complete repository for the Celestial Martial Arts style Crystal Chameleon. As none of What Memory Serves' attendant Sodalites are enlightened to the mysteries of Crystal Chameleon Style beyond a cursory understanding of this ancient style's flamboyant nature, we were unable to provide insight as to how she might come to better understand its use and applications. Given most Celestial Martial Arts styles are astonishingly powerful, combined with What Memory Serves' enthusiasm, we urge extreme caution: none but First Prayer of Perfection should attempt to spar with her until she has full control and understanding of the style. Please see our earlier collected notes on this Charm's construction for further details regarding its physical appearance and installed submodule.>


***


You're still giggling to yourself when they finally give up and tip the slab almost-vertical and disable the plugs keeping you attached to the form-fit metal contraption. Greenie has given up at this point and wandered off to put together your awesome notes with his super-boring ones so that Taylor can see that you totally understand all this magical bullshit nonsense now.

But whatever. Magic kung fu! Oh man maybe you can trick Bladedancer into-

"Ya 'bout done there, lass?"

You cough, then take his oversized hand as you step outta the slab imprint and shoot him a proper grin full'a teeth. You're… a little bit wobbly, but even though your body feels all super-charged and your skin's too small for your body somehow, you're not actually... unsteady? Opposite, actually - like you're too steady?

Magic Bullshit: Makin' Problems And Solvin' 'Em All At Once.

"Ehheheh… hem. Yeah. So what's next? Gonna let me test all this crazy shit somewhere?" You giggle again, letting go of his hand and striking that awesome both-arms-up, one-foot-up pose. "Let's whip out the robo-magic kung-fu on some training dummies!"

Huh. Weird. That pose doesn't… feel right? Maybe… lean back and-

Gimli coughs loudly enough to make you blink and look back at him as he crosses his beefy arms over his chest.

"Nay, lass," he grumbles, scowling. "Ya gotta keep a lid on tha fer now - yer charms'll be needin' ta acclimate ta Nowhere, 'n iff'n ya start breakin' 'm in 'ere first… might make 'em act up like tha way the other Chosen've had ta deal wit'."

You give him a stink eye. "Uhh… what? You mean I'm still not all done with this configurin' crap? What gives?"

He shrugs, then reaches up and pokes you in the arm as if he's checkin' a car's tires.

"Ya tell me. Our scans've always been sayin' yer runnin' as ya should, even b'fore we jus' did tha rundown… but do ya know 'xactly how all've yer charms werk and 'xactly what they all do? 'Specially the Celestial Martial Art tha' just got plugged in'ta yer soul?"

Frowning, you open your mouth to instantly tell him off, but…

Well, you can feel all the powers you've got plugged in now, instead of them just being all these fuzzy, tingling bits in the back of your mind. Hell, some of your powers are active, even without you doing anything - like, it's really easy to tell how much all those Fourth-Augs that're boosting your brain and bod make you even more awesome, because you just feel… better? Smarter?

'S not like all new ideas are floodin' your head or anything. It's just… easier to remember stuff? And when people talk, it's easier to figure out what they're talkin' about. Was everything so-…

Was it so hard to think before?

Ugh. Yeah, you're never swappin' out any of those Fourth-Augs. Ever.

"Eh... kinda?" you frown, scratching your head while shifting your weight on your legs. "If I think about the kung-fu I kinda get a feeling… like, how to breathe and move and stuff? The other powers I'm pretty sure I could whip out now, no problem."

Shortstack doesn't let up with his own scowl, but he snorts after a few seconds of staring at you and turns to walk away - his hand waving at you to follow him.

"Jus' a feelin' ain't enough, lass. Tha's an old style ya got plugged in now; buncha Sidereals made it durin' tha Primordial War fer 'shock 'an awe' sneak attacks tha lett'm tear through tha enemy without anyone able ta see 'em. Haven't been able ta pull up much else, 'an none 'o tha Adamant operatin' around Om right now know it, so… jus' be careful. Don' wanna burn out bunch'a folks' eyes on accident, do ya?"

You'd started walking after him as he talked, the two of you striding out of the door and into the plain-metal corridor past it, but you'd snorted a laugh when he mentioned that the style apparently is a stealth style. Even more stealth powers? Talk about overkill, GodBot.

But then that last bit...

"Okay, hold up," you blurted out, bare feet halting on the cold metal. "Burn out people's eyes?! What? How's that sneaky?"

His own stompy boots stop ploddin' along just long enough for him to turn back and give you a one-eyed stare.

"'S not like they can tell what's goin' on if they can't see ya," he snorts. "'N if'n there ain't anyone left alive, no one c'n raise a warnin'."

… you just sorta stare back at him for that.

"Uh… preeeetty sure the PRT will flip the fuck out if I start goin' round killing people. Or even just burning out their eyeballs."

He gives you a slow nod, that kind that says 'welcome to The Point, glad you could finally make it.' Dick.

"Aye, lass… so don't go pickin' fights 'till yer charms're all square. Ya ken?"

You cross your arms over your awesome, upgraded chest and give him a flat look.

"Basically all the shit I've been in the last month or so have been 'cause fights picked me. What'm I supposed to do if I've still gotta straighten out all this crap out and I get jumped again?"

"Hah!"
he barks out full, belly-rollin' laugh. Then, shaking his head as he keeps starts walking again, he holds up his left hand high enough for you to see him countin' off a finger at a time with the other hand. "Well, fer one: did ya ferget ya got a Maker-built spirit-charm ridin' shotgun in yer braincase there? From the memories we've been gettin' back, those spirit-charms ain't nothin' 'ta shake a spanner at. Two: lass, there'r Adamant operatives with hundreds 'a years more 'xperience under their belts tha ain't half 's squirrely as yer built 'ta be. An' three:..."

Turning to his left, he uses his now-closed left hand to punch at a part of the corridor wall-

There's a whole bunch of hissing and clanking and whirring as parts of the wall pop to life with gears and whatever, causing the "wall" to turn into a door wide enough to drive a car through. Which is kinda weird, since the corridor isn't that wide. Still, it lets you see inside...

"Where'd ya think I was takin' ya?"

Crackling with electricity, rows and rows of the big, weird cylinder-light-bulbs they have around here flare to life - each row deeper and deeper into the room. Well, "room" is more like "warehouse" because there's all these tall racks of…

Uh…

Okay, yeah, some of these things look like swords and spears and axes and stuff, and there's a whole sets of armor in that one row, but most of the rows just look like they're covered in weird random shit, like orbs and mirrors and… is that a flute? Hey whoa a guitar-?!

McBuzzkill throws out his arm, 'cause… you sorta started walking in without realizing it. Whoops.

"'Ere's tha deal," he snorts, turning enough to give you a narrowed one-eye glare. "We's got 'bout an hour 're two ta kill b'fore yer Familiar's gonna be ready fer review. So lemme walk ya through what we're already gonna be givin' ya... then ya 'kin ask 'bout what else ya 'been wantin' ta grab... 'an I'll show ya what tha Maker's dumped in 'ere fer us 'ta catalogue and rework b'fore it's passed out to tha troops."

You give a half-hearted push against his arm, your own arms still outstretched making grabby motions, but he's about as solid as a rock. Though… you could just flip on your para-power and-

"'An dinnae even think 'bout usin' yer spirit-charm!" he huffs, jabbing your ribs with his free hand. "We're gonna check all tha logs b'fore ya head back ta make sure ya ain't makin' off with sumthin' extra!"

"Oh come onnnnn,"
you wheeze, deflating… then hitting Dwarfsalot with the puppy eyes. Not that it's ever really worked like Saki and Sakura could pull off (Saki even more now), but he hasn't reacted at all to you bein' robo-naked so your usual go-to clearly isn't gonna work...

"Tha Maker's gifts lemme see through yer tricks, lass," he snorts. "Tha answer's still 'nay.'"

You double-facepalm. Ugh.

"Oh this is just bullshit! We're literally saving the universe! Why can't you just let me take whatever I want!"

"'Cause I've an inklin' none 'o you Chosen t'wern't supposed 'ta ever
see som'ma these Artifacts, giv'n tha we've found a few dumped in here tha were tainted wit tha Great Maker's sickness."

Now that causes you to stand up straighter and give the rows of shiny magical shit a hard eye. Maybe… you don't want to go inside that room anymore...

"Uh… then why the fuck are you showing me this? I'm guessing me catching the robogod-cancer is, like... game over."

With the hand not keeping you from running inside, Beardsly rubs at his metal eyepatch while heaving a sigh that makes his whole big frame sag.

"'Cause whenever ya figured out we had a room full'a 'magic toys,' ya would'a found a way ta sneak in here without me."

Narrowing your eyes, you give him a look, then glance back at the stacks of magical bullshit before you…

"Eh," you shrug. "Probably, yeah."


***


"So… uh… you guys sure you haven't been watchin' the Jane Bond movies from my brain? 'Cause this right here…?"

You wave at the workbenches that stick out from the walls, the tables littering the area before the rows of magic toys, and at the blank kinda-human-dummies that are even blasted and burnt and cut like the dwarves here have been testin' stuff on 'em. It's all kinds of Tinker-crazy in here, with most of the tables and benches covered in stuff that looks either half-broken, half-taken-apart, or just a mess of pieces.

"This is some straight-up Q shit."

Though instead of super-tech it all looks… uh… kinda like weird magic-tech? Tinkertech - at least the bullshit you've seen Taylor and Chris build - all has that "normal tech but fifty years in the future" feeling to it. But here?

Crystals with glowin' runes, rods that look like magic wands crossed with smartphones, weird sets of gears that are turnin' without anything pushin' them, and even one glass ball-testtube that… you're pretty sure has some kinda creature in it, since it's got a swirlin' ball of steam inside that has glowin' eyes that just blinked at you. You know: stuff that if you showed a picture of it to some dudes on the street back home, they'd be all, like "yeah, that's magic."

Dwarfy just snorts a laugh but doesn't say anything as he keeps walkin - though he does make sure to walk only in front of you enough so he can still see you outta the corner of his one eye.

You try not to twitch, but…

…you really, really… really wanna touch… everything.

But… damnit.

Robogod-cancer.

It's one of the main (...only...) things you remember from Taylor's whole presentation to you and the resta the Wards a while back. She mentioned it's why Autogod's in trouble in the first place: some kind of plague or robot AIDS that makes shit go crazy and break down? And it's been spreadin' to the people in here, makin' them go bugnuts and fall apart too. Blech.

So... yeah. Hard nope to pokin' shit to see how it works.

Too bad you're pretty sure Beardy wasn't jokin' about that just to make you behave, 'cause then you'd be all over this place in a hot second. Figures that the one time there's a chance to go Supermall Scatter in a warehouse of tricked-out magic armors and weapons, there's probably "make you crazy and evil" plague in some of them.

You made that gamble with your Halloween candy once, and you had the shakes for days after. Ugh. Brockton Bay: good fuckin' riddance.

Wincing, you grit your teeth and shake your head as you follow Shortstack to some random table along the right side of the wall, deeper in the room. This isn't the time to get all stuck in your head - you're gettin' magic gear! Ooh, maybe you'll get a magic grappling hook-...

Wait, you already have a power for that. That also is, like, a 'move shit with your mind' power, too. Huh. Maybe… a cool pen? That's also a-

"Here, lass," Gruffmaster Squat huffs, stoppin' so fast you almost bump into him. But you don't because you have all the dexterity now, yeah! (Need to look up that "dexterity" means what you think it means when you get back.)

You stare at the table with…

"... What? Party masks?" you snort, lifting your hand so it's close to your chest (and away from any maybe-cancer) and point with your finger. "I mean, they look… uh..."

He side-eyes you and raises an eyebrow.

You cough.

"... whatever, man," you sigh. "They look like you threw magic pixie dust on blank metal faceplates then carved a bunch'a bullshit runes on 'em. They don't even have eye-holes!"

He keeps staring for a while… then finally cracks a grin and snorts a laugh while back-handing your abs. Which you totally now have, by the way, even if they're weird, stringy-bio-metal abs.

"Good eye on ya, lass. Ha ha! Don't worry, none - figure'd we'd start wit' tha basics."

From the pile of about a dozen of the similar-lookin' masks, he digs his hand in and seems to pick one out at random, then hands it to you.

"Not much more basic than a Mask, eh? Don' even got a fancy name, but it'll do good work for ya."

You eye the thing in his hand for a sec… but, whatever. If he's just handing it to ya, it's gotta be safe.

Also, is it weird that you heard the capital 'M' when he said its name? It's probably 'cause of this weird new language you're speaking now, but still.

"So, what?" you ask, grabbing it with two fingers and turning it around. Huh, inside's totally blank - not even any glowy shit. "Do I just… stick it on my face? What's it do?"

Grumbly McBeardsalot just flaps his hand at you, waving off the question.

"I ain't gonna waste me breath jawin' at ya when tha Great Maker Hisself saw fit 'ta give ya a Charm that'll make sure ya know what it does. An' aye, I know Ah jus' told 'ya not 'ta use yer Charms… but I dinnae see a reason fer Him 'ta give ya tha Endodiagnostic submod if'n it wasn't so 'ya could-..."

From his sigh, it sounds like he finally noticed you've been trying to stick it to your face.

It's not working. Maybe you need to press harder?

"... jes use yer Technomorphic Integration Engine Charm, lass."

You'd blink, but your eyeballs are sorta jammed up against solid metal. Still, you give him a thumbs-up with your free hand.

That's… your pocket-dimension power, right? Okay, easy enough…

Schlooooorp!



You can blink again.

You do it a bunch.

Because...

… your face… just ate the mask. The "Mask." Whatever.

Not… not like you opened your mouth and ate it… that would'a made some sense.

For a few seconds you felt all the weird clay-skin of your face go gooey and… engulf the Mask? And then it was suddenly gone and you could see again? What? How does that even-

You cough.

"Uhhhh... that was... different than how Taylor's does it. Pretty sure."

He just laughs.


***


It's a shock, sure, but you get over it real quick when you're able to actually see how it looks when it's not your face doing the eating.

Like seeing your legs - from the knees down - go all liquid-metal and smother your next magic toy: new shoes! Well, less "shoes" and more "boots."

Which… after closing your eyes and getting a 'feel' for the pair of kicks now in your pocket-dimension, your brain gets a whole truckload of info about what they are, how they work, how and when they were made…

"'Perfected Boots'? Really?" you scoff, looking over at Gimli from the stool you used to help slip your feet inside the Boots. Your voice's even, and your face is completely dead as you give the verdict. "You guys suck at names."

Also, you're wearing Taylor's face.

Because, turns out, that's what that party mask does.

Instead of needing all those social powers like Saki (probably) has to make it impossible to figure out what she's really thinking, now you can just use your Mask (again, super boring names here) to change your face. You could just change your face to look like a 'super unimpressed' version of yourself, but Taylor's got some great 'get out of here with that bullshit' expressions. And Dwarfy actually looked a little uncomfortable when you swapped to Taylor's face to test it out, so… yeah, keeping that.

Sure, you could use your shapeshifting power to do the whole 'look like Taylor' thing without the need for a magic facemask, but Beardy mentioned the power can't do the 'hide your emotions' trick and it takes up a spot in your body that you could use for another power if you needed the space.

Seems to be a theme, so far, since these Perfected Boots mostly just make you move faster - like your... powers-in-a-power power.

Uh. Okay, need a new mental name for that one. It's called… uhh… Manifold Transhuman Implants so… no, "tranny power" is bad. "Implants Power" maybe? Wait, no, that's even worse, because you're all-natur...

... Ugh. Whatever, figure something out later.

Still, McGruff here is waitin' for you to try 'em out, so… just push the energy in your chest through and focus on the Boots-

Blllooorp!

You're glad you have the Mask on, because… just… wow.

"Holy... fuck. These feel amazing."

Sure they look like swanky medieval army boots, going all the way up to your knees, but they feel like… well, like what foot heaven must feel like. The brain-dump your power'd given you told you they're magically supposed to be the most comfortable pair of shoes you've ever worn… but… it's totally different actually feeling it.

"Aye, lass," Dwarf McDorf laughs again, sticking out one of his own big feet out from under his big leather work apron to show he's got a pair, too. "Cheap 'n easy 'ta make, help ya git around quicker, 'n make standin' fer hours 'n hours a soft, steamy breeze. Evr'yone's got a pair, 'round these parts."

You nod, 'cause that makes sense, but you just sorta… keep staring at your feet as you wiggle your toes and shift around in the Boots because damn. And standing up-... yup, it doesn't seem to add to any of the pressure you feel on the bottoms of your feet. Is this what leather shoes're supposed to feel like, when you break'em in? There's a word for this, you think...? Oh, right, the perv word: supple.

Very, verysupple.

You giggle, which probably looks super weird from Gimli's point of view since you don't change Taylor's 'I am sick of your shit' expression at all.

He clears his throat. "A-aye. You… about done there, lass?"

You nod, then look at him and shift your Mask to Taylor's 'you are an interesting bug and I am going to dissect you and make a robot version that is better in every way' face.

"So, are are you just givin' me gadgets that kinda duplicate what all my powers do, so I can swap 'em around and still be mostly covered?"

Q-Dwarf (Qwarf? Yes, Qwarf.) flinches a bit, and you're pretty sure you saw his eyepatch-covered eye is trying to twitch, but he quickly shakes his head and grumbles something in his dwarfy language and stomps off towards another table.

"...holdir kundrun-... ach," he huffs, stomping on the metal floor a bit harder than he was before. "No, lass, but ya aren't amiss fer think'n tha. I jes' wann'd 'ta give ya tha easy bits first - artifacts tha'd ya have a startin' point 'ta think 'o them from. But-!"

He stops and turns back to you, just as the two of you are in a four-way intersection between racks of crossbows, bows, spears, and shields. He stabs a meaty, gloved finger at your new Best Boots and grins.

"Sure, those're like tha Quickness mutation ya got installed. But both'a those boosts stack."

You raise one of Taylor's eyebrows.

"Stack? Like… they make me taller?"

He winks at you a few times, his grin turning to a wince.

"Wha-..." he sighs, then stops pointing and rubs his face. "No. Just… let's say… tha Quickness mutation makes ya run twice as fast. And tha Perfected Boots also make ya twice as fast. Use 'em together…"

You don't change Taylor's expression, but inside you're wide-eyed. Holy shit!

"Wait, don't some of my other powers make me run and jump faster, too? Do they all add up like that if I use 'em together?"

"Now yer thinkin' like a
proper Champion, lass!" he grins again, nodding once before turning around and starting to walk again. "Figurin' out how powers work tagether is an ooold tradition 'round here, an' Ahm sure Jade Vision'll toss in a few tips with tha report 'o his yer makin' him send with ya. Jes... be sure'n check in with Enduring Order Administrator first, ya ken?"



You think there's a joke there with you being able to turn into Taylor, but you're… just loving how these Best Boots feel so you'll let it go for now.

"Yeah, yeah," you sigh. "What's next?"

Qwarfy makes a grunting sound, turns left around a row of hundreds of magic-lookin' halberds (gonna rub that into Armsdouche's face when you get back), and then stops at the start of a row of… armbands? Thousands of 'em are hung up on the row that stretches for a few hundred feet, all pretty much the same: solid band of gold about a few inches across with some blocky glowin' runes.

There's one, though, that's got a silver price-tag-lookin' piece of string on it that's sitting just at eye-level for him on the first column, middle-ish row of the rack. He snags it with barely a glance, tears off the tag without any real effort and stuffs the thread into a pocket, and then tosses the golden armband to you.

Just for fun, you push a bit of energy into your Glorpin' power and absorb it right outta the air with your left hand.

Schhllllooorp!

You can't help but laugh as a kinda-blob, kinda-mouth of liquid silver bursts outta your palm and eats the armband before pulling back to disappear into your hand completely - all done in barely a few seconds, about as fast as Taylor's version.

Yeah, you're gonna have a lot of fun with this power.

Looking back at Gimli, he raises an eyebrow but otherwise just looks like he's waitin' for you-

Oh, right. Okay, uh… checking this newest gadget…

"'Sanitization Band'?" you sigh, at the same time as pushing a bit more energy into the power to make it pop outta-and-around your left bicep all snug and activated. "Who picks these names? You're makin' cool shit sound boring!"

Because fuck yes never having to take a shower again is amazing, and you already can feel the goo residue from the tube clearing away. Hell, you could probably roll around in a sewer for days and come outta it smellin' fresh… which is probably good, 'cause you're probably gonna have to sneak in through some sewers, now that you think about it.

Godbot's really on the ball if this is all under his orders. You approve.

Though you kinda wonder if you could grab an extra one for Prayer? It'd let her keep her hair styled no matter how many fights she gets into or how many times she put on and takes off her helmet! Though... she loves taking showers now, so… eh, maybe not. You'll keep it in mind for the end.

"'S what we call 'em here," he shrugs, then turns and starts walkin' in a different direction. "I think they were called… 'Collars 'o Dawn's Cleansin' Light' in Creation? Bah. Why use a bunch'a words 'ta sound good when ya just need a few 'ta make sense? 'Sides, 'vry worker's got one ta keep 'em from sweatin' on parts an' leavin' grease 'vrywhere, an even tha mortals use'm ta keep their uniforms clean. Do ya wanna haf'ta say some long-bolted name each time ya wanna talk about it?"

You let the Mask show your unimpressed glare at the back of his head.

"Then call'em something like… I dunno… 'Everclean Bands'? Somethin' catchy and punchy."

Qwarfy freezes, and you're following close enough behind him while pokin' at your new bicep-band that you almost crash into him. But, again: all the dexterity. So you just sorta… bend, so you're leaning over him enough that you can see him all blank-faced and starin' straight ahead.

Then he winces and sighs, makin' his whole big square body sag a bit before he starts walkin' again.

"Ah'm gonna haf'ta do so much relablin'..."

Following behind him, your Mask adopts Taylor's, 'of course I'm right, peasants, now bow down to your queen' expression.

Well. It might be your expression. No one will ever know.


***


Your next stop in your trip through the Warehouse O' Goodies is another small table squashed between two rows, both completely packed with what looks like different types of glasses and goggles; the row on your right has a few different styles, but they're basically all kinda the size (and in some cases, shape) of snow goggles. Some are even armored up like the PRT-trooper shaded goggles (that they wear under their blast visors), which is… kinda weird, but they're not exactly the same, and you guess it makes sense that they have some kinda SWAT-like forces around here with this level of magic-tech.

The ones on the left... look like super-magic versions of those one-eye glasses that rich people wear.

"Eh? Ya mean… monocles?"

You snap and point at him, grinning. "Yeah! Wait… how do you guys know about those? Do you have super-posh rich asshats here, too?"

Qwarfy slowly turns from where he's been makin' a few final tweaks one of the goggles to give you a scowl.

"Wha's bein' fancy got anythin' ta do with..." he trails off, staring at you for a few more seconds, before shaking his head and waving the idea away. "Wha'ever, lass. C'mere an' take these two here."

He passes you one of the PRT-trooper look-alike goggles, and one of the super-monocles - both of which are immediately devoured by your suddenly-liquid hands.

Schllllooooorp!

You're never gonna get tired of that sound. Heheh.

"Ya don' haf'ta make it so loud, ya know? Ya should be able 'ta make it quiet-like, if'n ya focus-..."

Now it's you giving him the scowl with Taylor's 'bitch please I have thought of everything you will ever think' face, which only makes him sigh again.

"Fine," he shrugs, then points at your left temple. "Anywho, we're givin' ya tha Regulator-issue duo: tha style 'a Essence Scryin' Visor c'n fit yer Dragonfly's Rangin' Eye under tha lef' headband. Ya see?"

You purse your mouth as you close your eyes and focus on the two new weird glasses in your pocket-dimension. The first - the 'Essence Scrying Visor' - seems pretty straight-forward, since it just lets you see in the dark, through smoke, and when magic bullshit is afoot, but the other…

"Huh," you blink, pushing both out so they're set up like Shortstack explained. "These are both... kind'a like Taylor's eye-powers? One sees in the dark, the other sees through walls. Why didn't I get those powers?"

He offers up both hands in a shrug.

"Tha Great Maker musta figgure'd ya didn't need 'em like Endurin' Order Administrator did? Tell ya truthful, we dinnae get much'a warnin' fer her - all'a this," he gestures to the near-endless stacks of magic stuff around the two of you, "only start'd gettin' dumped in here right b'fore First Prayer 'o Perfection came through, but 'Is Plan dinnae'd call fer any artifacts fer her, neither. Or Warden… tho we had a bit 'o a hassle gettin' Crushin' Grasp away from Domadamod, so 'E prob'ly knew we'd 'ave our 'ands full, then."

You… just sorta... nod along, filing that all away to have Taylor explain later. She's probably gonna flip her lid with questions you should'a asked him, but… whatever. You're livin' out your Jane Bond fantasies, alright? Can't interrupt those. Still, what you've figured out about your Dragonfly's Ranging Eye makes you wonder...

You taping at the little thumbnail-sized piece of metal that's sticking the super-monocle to your left temple under the Visor and changing the view through it to look back at you from behind Qwarfy.

Yes, you do look like an absolute badass with all these gadgets and robot-powers stickin' outta your body. Kinda weird seeing yourself without hair, though, but you'll fix that with your shapeshifting powers when you get back. No big deal.

"Hey, uh…" you draw out, "... am I allowed to share these things?"

He leans back a bit, then crosses his beefy arms over his chest.

"With tha other Chosen?"

You nod at his squint, cracking a grin.

"Yeah! This'd, like, be super awesome for Saki if it'd let her see inside a place through it and then bam-" you slip your flattened right hand through and past your vertically-held left hand "- teleport right inside."

His beard twitches a few times, like he's movin' his mouth in thought, before his whole bulky body sorta… bobs in a sorta half-shrug.

"Fer most 'o these we're givin' ya…? Sure. But tell me, lass: do ya ken what 'avin' a major magical material c'mponent 'ta an Artifact means?"



"Yeah... I have no idea what you just said."

He snorts, then waves for you start following him again as the two of you begin walking to the next Cool Shit station.

"Oookay, lessee if'n I c'n break this down fer ya. First... do ya recognize these words:" he grumbles, ticking off fingers on both hands, "Soulsteel, Adamant, Starmetal, Jade, Orichalcum, an'..."

He glances back at you, squinting. "... Moonsilver?"

You roll your eyes.

"I know that much, duh. Those are, like, the flavors of magical robots you make here."

Qwarfy freezes, like before, but you're ready for it this time… 'cause your new goggles light up this whole dark place like it's freakin' noon, so there's no way you're getting surprised in here again.

And again, he just… sighs.

"We…" he groans, sounding pained. "I… dunnae ev'n have tha time 'ta tell ya how many things're wrong with what'cha jes said."

You flip him off.

"Whatever, drama queen. Fine. What are they, then?"

Still not even looking at you, he takes a few steadying breaths and mutters something like "... Om wasn't listin'n…" before he does a whole-body shake and starts ploddin' forward again.

"'Ta keep't simple: think 'o 'em as… 'super-magical' types 'a differn't metals," he huffs, sarcasm thick in his voice. "Orichalcum's... super-magic gold, see? 'N… well, jes like a sword made outta copper ain't holdin' an edge like a sword made'a steel, but ya wanna use copper fer conductin' 'lectricity… differ'n types 'a magical metals're better at differ'n types 'a magic. Ya ken?"

You give him Taylor's 'get out of here with that weak shit before I melt you down for parts' look.

"You're a pretty shitty teacher."

His head just sags.

"... Maker pr'serv me...," he mutters, holding his head in his hands as he walks. "Flav'rs. Sure. Jes…"

He stops, turns, and jabs a finger at your chest.

"You 're made'a Moonsilver. So do ya ken tha if'n an Artifact be made out'ta Moonsilver… it'd be easy fer you 'ta use but nae for Endurin' Order Administrator?"

You visibly roll all eight of Taylor's eyes.

"Weird, but… makes sense. Why didn't you just start with that?"

Sure, driving the guy giving you magic toys crazy is probably a bad idea… but Jane Bone always drives Q nuts, so you gotta keep livin' the dream.

Judging by the way he just wails and stalks off in a frantic pace to keep himself from strangling you, the dream is very much alive and well.


***


It takes Qwarfy a while to simmer down, especially since you follow him wearing Taylor's 'you know I'm right and I know I'm better than you' face while you giggle inwardly.

This leads to the amusing drive-by of one table packed with what looks like a bunch of empty smartphone screens with some slick borders, Grumpy just grabbing one of them and tossing it over his shoulder to you while he continues on. You catch and schlorp it easily, of course, because you gotta keep repeating this: all the dexterity.

Schhhloorp!

He groans, then hunches his shoulders a bit as he keeps trudging on through the giant racks of random-looking magic swag. You snicker, but don't change your face.

The thing he passed you is kinda cool, at least: a Translation Crystal. About as big as your hand, stick it over words or numbers or whatever and it auto-translates on the fly to Old Realm - the weird robo-language BotGod stuck in your brain. You're… uh… not really understanding what you're getting about how it does that ("least god interface matrix" huzzahwhat?), so you sorta just... ignore those parts of the brain-download for now.

But whatever - now you've got a 'speak any language' power and a 'read any language' gadget. Bases: Covered.

That only takes about a minute to deal with, though, so the rest of the time you're following Beardy McGrumpeye you try fooling with your Ranging Eye gadget. It can see through walls and stuff for, like, a mile around you, right? Might as well check out what else is around this place…

Except… as soon as you tap the control to zoom the point at which the Eye is looking through past the ceiling above you-

Uh… what? Okay, maybe look down-

"Hey! What gives?"

Qwarfy stops marching, turning around as you're still staring at your feet and getting a weird sorta buzz from the bit of metal attached to the side of your head when it fails to zoom through the floor.

"...Eh? Wha-?"

"This Ranging Eye thing is supposed to be able to see through walls right?"
you grumble, looking up at him with Taylor's 'resting sick-of-your-shit' face. "Why can't it see through these walls? Is this thing, like, secretly busted?"

His face twitches, and he stares at you for a few seconds, then finally chuckles and shakes his head and waves you off.

"Nay, lass. Tha wards 're what's blockin' yer Rangin' Eye. Ye ken wha wards are, lass?"

You don't change your face, but inwardly you scowl for a bit. Uh… probably not talking about the PRT program you're in. Wait… your bullshit detector is flaring...

"Wards are, like, magic spells that stop stuff from entering or leaving, right?"

"Aye,"
he nods, his good eyebrow raised a bit in surprise as he chuckles. Dick. "'N we got e'nuff wards worked in'ta tha walls 'a this vat 'ta block out anythin' short 'o tha Big Eight. Yer Eye's werkin' jes fine, dunnae worry none."

You shrug, 'cause… you guess you understood that. Super-strong magic spells in the walls are stronger than your magic monocle. If they've got Bad Shit in here along with the Cool Shit...

"Makes sense," you huff, scratching your nose. "Are you gonna let me see what's outside before I go, at least?"

Judging by his wince, that's probably a 'no'.

"Ahh… tha's nay my call 'ta make, lass. We c'n ask b'fore ye get processed 'n sent back on through."

You stop itching and wave the worry away.

"No big deal. I get I'm not supposed even be awake, so… you know. Would we have to wait for a whole bunch of approvals or something?"

He bobs his head side-to-side, squinting in thought.

"... Ahh, well… Om'd prolly wannae keep ya locked up tight, an she… dinnae really answer 'ta anyone but tha Maker 'Isself. An gettin' anythin' from 'Im is… ah… nay somethin' ya ever plan on."

You shift to Taylor's 'gonna cut open and study a bitch' face.

"Who's 'Om'?"

He blinks a few times, looking at you strangely.

"Lass? Ya Fourth Intelligence Augmentation's werkin' alright? Om's tha Adamant ye 've been talkin' wit b'fore."



"... pretty sure that was a dude, dude. Not sure how you missed what's under that bedsheet, what with it being eye-level with you and all."

He snorts. "Pah. Tha's jes one 'o 'er avatars. Dinnae she intraduce 'erself as a matropolis?"

You just sorta stare at him for a few seconds until he facepalms and remembers that you have no idea what that means. With his off-hand, he waves absently at… everything around you.

"Alchemicals dinnae jes get powerful on they own, lass. Ye gotta get… upgrades, ya ken? 'N atta certain point, 'n order ta get… really powerful… well, yer normal-sized body t'aint strong e'nuff 'ta handle tha kinda load. So we rebuild ya bigger. 'N bigger… 'n bigger each time ya get stronger. Until… well…"

He brings his hand down, giving you a weird look and a kinda half-smile and then stomps his foot once.

"Ya see how yer Charms' 're part 'o yer body? Well this buildin's tha size 'o one a those 'skyscrapers' ya got in Nowhere, an it's one 'o 'er Charms."

...

You look down at the floor where he stomped.

You look up at the rafters, at least a hundred feet up.

"Yup," you nod.

"Pretty sure this is gonna make Saki's head explode."


***


You try - and fail - to stop imagining subways plunging into deep caverns, wondering if "construction work" counts as plastic surgery, and giggling about "landscape trimming." You're about to ask Gimli what happens when two city-sized robots get down and dirty, but then he makes a turn and stops in front of a new kind of table:

Set against the polished-metal wall is a table covered by a darkened glass shield. And big metal locks.

… and wards, since your new Monocle can't see through it, either. Man, you can't wait to get back home where there isn't any bullshit magic stuff to get in your way anymore.

"Heh," he laughs, brushing you away from where you're already leaning over his shoulder to try to both watch him unlock the big metal padlocks and to try to see through the glass with your normal eyes. "Gimmie a 'sec, lass. They ain't goin' nowhere."

You lean back and grin, but then set your Monocle to look over his shoulder anyway. Seems his gloves are magic, too, the way they're glowin' now as he fiddles with the locks.

Clunk-click!

"We finally gettin' to the
real good shit, then? I haven't seen any other tables locked down like this!"

Beardsly pauses in his work.

"Mmmh," he snorts, his voice a bit darker. "Takin' yer new toys fer granted already?"

Wincing, you shrug your shoulders as you sigh.

"Ugh, that's… I don't mean it like that, man, c'mon."

"Oh? Then
how did'jya 'mean it like', lass?"

"I mean… I meant it like…"
you grumble, waving a hand at everything around you despite him still lookin' at the locks he's workin' on. "... well, everything you've given me so far has been just one from the pile, you know? Piles of awesome, don't get me wrong, but… they were all just sittin' out like they weren't that big a deal?"

He grunts again, still focused, but there's a laugh in his voice again.

Clack-clunk!

"Oh, there'r
plenty 'a dangerous 'n rare bits 'n bolts stuffed away in tha back. Ya think I've been walkin' randomly, lass?"

Just as you reach up again to start refocusing your Monocle, he stops and turns his head back to glare at you with his lone eye.

"'N before ya start trainin' tha Eye 'o yers 'ta look fer 'em, remember wha I tol' ya 'bout some 'a them still bein' tainted?"

… you slowly retract your index finger from your temple, then schlorp up the Monocle.

Nope.

"... Got it."


He nods, then turns back to his work while you just… sorta stand there, not wanting to look around anymore. Might as well study his clothes? Mostly different layers of some kinda leather-ish material, some metal wirings through some of it with non-glowing runes, but it's all… dull and beat-up? Which is weird if he's got one of those Everclean bands on all the time. Oh, maybe it's like it keeps it clean but if you scuff it up a bunch it never gets completely back to 100% so… after a long time it starts to fade? That'd make sense, and… kinda fits with what your power told you about how it works? Eh, you'll ask Taylor about it later.

Click-clack!

And, now that you're thinking about it…

"Hey, how come you and the other dwarves and elfs don't have soulgems? I thought everyone here was supposed to have one to... keep your soul in, or something?"

Qwarfy grunts, bobbing his head but not takin' his eyes off the locks as he works.

"All humans 'ave 'em, lass. They're fer trackin' 'uman souls 'cross reincarnations, so's we c'n make sure they're right-proper heroic when we're pickin' one 'ta make a new Alchemical. An tha Great Maker designed Exaltations fer humans only, so... tha's that. B'sides, we Firs'born… our souls work a wee bit differn'ly, anyhoo."

You… uh… got some of that. At least the last part?

"Different how?"

Clunk!

"
There we go," he grumbles. "'S a hassle whenever Pearl Wisdom's on clean-up duty. Good 'ead fer security, but… eh, bit 'o a waste when tha whole vat's warded ta Xexas 'n back. Now... lessee if she messed wit' 'ow I packed 'em all proper..."

With a limbering of his arms, he grabs both sides of the wide, rectangular glass case and lifts - causing a ton of steam from the pistons keeping the thing down to spew out and cover the whole area.

You can't help but laugh. "Man, you guys are on point with makin' this look straight outta a Jane Bond flick."

"Om's gonna
make us watch 'em now, I c'n jes tell," he sighs, waving away the steam to reveal-

"You even put them in briefcases!"

Qwarfy turns his head from the three okay-kinda-more-square-than-normal briefcases to stare at you with a strange look.

"Aye… dinnae see any sign tha ya 'ad Theomantic Reg'yalation Lockboxes in Nowhere."

You recoil at such a weird name. "Uhhhhh… no? We have briefcases. Ya know: boxes you put important stuff like papers and money and guns in to carry around when you need to look legit."

He just… sorta stares at you for a while, before finally blinking once.

"Ah'm… gonna keep prayin' tha Nowhere's all sorted out b'fore we're suppose'd 'ta leave fer it, 'f tha's alright with you."

You roll your eyes. "Earth is way more sane-..."

… oh. Right. Capes. You guess in Big Bro's power is… pretty weird, when you think about it. Then you've got Case 53s and fuckin' Endbringers...

"... just… whatever, okay? Don't knock it before you've even been there."

"... seen
plenty 'ta know-"

"
Annnnnyway:" you grind out, pointing over his shoulder at the three steel-and-some-other-metals containers laid out on the dark-stone table. "What's in the briefcases?"

Shorty McSlander's beard twitches like he's grinning at you, then reaches over with his huge, gloved hands and grabs the biggest of the three - the one which looks the most like a briefcase - and turns around, presents it to you like some kind of dealer about to show off his goods.

"Well, if'n ya think Ah've been hold'n out on ya with only mass-produced Artifacts..." he chuckles, the fingers of his gloves glowing with lit-up runes as he toggles the small locks on the front. Then, with a small series of pops, the four locks snap open and the briefcase lets out a small crackle of electricity around its lip as the top lifts up. "Feast yer eyes on one've tha oldest, most legend'ry-!"

There's a scared warbling from the briefcase and then your face is suddenly wrapped in tentacles.


***


"Ah'm sorry, lass, it… err… looked dormant when Ah finished review'n it yesterday," Qwarfy hedges, rubbing the back of his neck with a thick, gloved hand as his wary eye remains locked on your new hat. Having dropped the briefcase in startlement, his other hand is free for him to wiggle his fingers in your general direction, causing runes to light up all along his glove before they seem to flow down his arm and into other parts of his clothes. "Mah Reson'nce Suspension 'Arness les'me run diagnostics 'n do maintenance without attunin' 'ta it fully, but Ah guess… it musta played dormant 'ta keep an extra mote 'r two, so it'd be able 'ta bug out next time Ah open'd tha Box."

You've got Taylor's 'I am the Queen of Paperwork and your after-action reports are a capital offense' look plastered on your face, even though your right hand is carefully petting the…

Well, it moved kinda fast, so you're not really sure if it's a squid or octopus? You're not really sure what the difference between the two is, though? Eh, whatever.

From what you can feel on your hairless head and with your right hand, its body is about the size of your PRT phone, and it's got a whole bunch of tentacles coiled up so it's like you're wearing a turban. A silvery, magical, whimpering turban.

"Dude, what've you even been doing to it to freak Squiddie out so much?"

"... 'Squiddie'? Lass, 's already
got a name-"

You stare. He winces harder.

"Ahlright, ahlright… but ya see, 's… just'n ahtahmata? It cannae ev'n be scared. 'S jes… look'n like it."

… you don't really understand what he just said, so you keep staring at him with Taylor's cold, disapproving face. Seems to do the trick, since he ducks his head and waves a dismissive hand at your poor, traumatized hat.

"Ach, ye'll see: jes use yer Technomorphic Int'agration Engine on it already!"

Your Taylor-face increases its disapproval level.

"No," you command, squaring your spare hand on your hip while you reassuringly pat your quivering turban. "Tell Squiddie you're sorry, first."

Dwarfy McPuppypuncher freezes, then slowly turns a disbelieving eye back to you. His gaze meets your Taylor-face for a split-second, then he quickly shifts his eye to look at your new headwear instead.

"... Fer what?"

Taylor-Face Disapproval Level: Maximum.

"You know what you did."

Looking caught between a sigh, a facepalm, and tearing his hair out, Qwarfy's hands twitch as he makes a few pained, grunting sounds. Finally, he closes his eye and slightly bows his head in your general direction.

"... Ah'm… sorr'ah fer… mah inc'nsiderate treatment 'o yah durin' yer diag'nostics…" he trails off for a second, before heaving a longer sigh. "... Squiddie."

Squiddie doesn't seem to react, not even ceasing its whimpering during your constant petting.

"Hmph," you snort, raising your chin to keep Squiddie away from the abusive blacksmith. "Both of us can tell you didn't mean it."

Balling both hands into fists, Shortstack brings both fists up against his eyes in a quasi-facepalm as he bows his head and groans.

"... 'S jes a... rud'mentry personality 'mprint, lass. 'S nay really fright'nd," he moans. "It'd be ah piss-poor guardian fer ya if'n it were scared all tha time."

You dial Taylor's face back juuuust a bit as you… sorta get what he's saying. Except you also... don't get it?

"Wait," you wonder aloud, shifting Taylor's expression at him to more 'what the fuck' than 'you done fucked up.' "So… you're saying that this is supposed to be some sort of… self defense drone thing?"

Bringing his hands down from his face, relief seems to wash over him as he nods. "Aye, lass. 'S a Quicksilver Aegis Tals'man - it'cn turn in'ta armor 'r weapons with nay but'a thought, 'n ya c'n even tell it 'ta attack on 's own."

You blink, and for a moment stop petting it. It shifts on your head to nuzzle your stalled hand.

"Then… why'd they made a magic armor-weapon-drone-thing a scaredy-...squid?"

"F'rm what Ah dug up?"
he sighs, shrugging, "... tha Champion tha made it was one'a tha early 'xplorers 'a Autochthon's reaches, 'n he wann'd it 'ta always be ready 'ta lash out at anythin' tha got close."

You can't help but make Taylor's face blink at that thought. Also, maybe... keep petting it, just to keep it from freaking out even more.

"... and you're giving me a tweaked-out, trigger-happy, self-defense drone… whyyyy?"

He bobs his head side-to-side.

"'Twas specific'ly put on'ta tha list," he grunts, shrugging helplessly before turning back to the other two briefcases on the table. "Had'ta wrangle tha whole team 'ta hunt it down, since it 'twas hidin' in with tha el'amental cores."

"Okaaaay, but…"
you pause, picking your words so that you don't freak out the murder-Squiddie on your head. "Is there a way I can make it… uhh… not afraid? I sorta like my friends with the number of holes they have now."

"Ya c'n order it'ta do what ya want with yer mind when'yer attuned 'ta it,"
he grumbles, waving over his shoulder before picking up the smaller of the two briefcases still on the table. Already fiddling with the locks on it, he turns back around and gives you a quick side-eye as he works. "If'n ya'd jes absorb it, ya'd already ken tha, ya know."

You keep petting Squiddie.

"Meh. Maybe later."

Rolling his eye, he sighs and focuses back on the briefcase in his hands - after a few more seconds of fiddling, you hear a similar set of four pops like before.

"Movin' along, then, since we got'ta schedule 'ta keep..."

With way less drama, he pops open the briefcase and reaches into it, grabbing a... piece of jewelry?

"This," he snorts, grinning beneath his beard as he holds up the stamp-sized blue crystal in between his thumb and forefinger. The crystal itself is wrapped in a super-detailed little multi-colored frame, which… shifts a little in the light as you look at it. "Is tha last piece 'a clothin' ya'll ever need."

You have Taylor's face match your slow, unimpressed blink.

"Prrrretty sure the PRT will flip its shit if I run around only wearing a belly-button piercing."

There's a twitch under his missing eye, and his grin loses a bit of its enthusiasm.

"... Jes… absorb it, ya sassy bolter," he grinds out, flicking the jewel at you.

You snort, recognizing that 'bolter' was one of the insults that had really riled up Blue Balls earlier. In return, you turn your left hand up and give him the finger - and use the middle finger to loudly suck the jewel out of mid-air.

Schlooooorp!

You make sure the noise is as loud and long as possible, too. Squiddie wiggles in fright for a bit as a result, but you make sure to keep your other hand in place, soothingly patting it so it doesn't go stab-happy or flop away into the dark stacks of magical toys behind you.

Alright, well, if he says it's supposed to be clothes, then let's see… what… it...

… oh. Holy shit.

"Aye, lass," he laughs, since you… said that out loud, you guess? Whoops. "Ya see? An yers 's a special make - them Inf'nite Resplendence Am'lets 're pretty common 'mong Sodalites, but they'r typic'lly made'a jes one magical material. Ah'd never seen one with all six b'fore yers dropped 'n here!"

If it weren't for your Mask, you're pretty sure your jaw would be on the floor.

You'd never… had much clothing of your own, before. Now… you've got a magic piece of jewelry that can turn into anything. And depending on what type of clothing you make it become, you even get new powers. What are you even-...

Wait. What are you even thinking?! Of course you know what you're gonna wear first.

Pushing a decent amount of energy into your storage-space power, you shove the new Super Jewel to the surface of your skin, just at the base of your neck, and let it do its bullshit magic.

You can feel the strands of silk-like threads burst out of it, squirming and slithering across your body as it starts to form the necessary pieces of your outfit: white button-down shirt, fancy black suit jacket and pants, tie (with the Super Jewel as the tie-holder-thingie), flat dress shoes. If Squiddie wasn't already on your head, you'd even have it form her ass-kicking hat that she wears in some fight scenes.

Squaring your shoulders, you stretch your neck and adjust your tie even though it doesn't need it. At Beardy's raised eyebrow, you let your Mask shift back to your normal face.

"Good show, Q," you grin. "Double-oh-Awesome, reporting for duty."


***


"Okay, so… I still don't get a few things?"

A step ahead, your dwarfy arms dealer snorts a laugh as he punches a random part of the wall to make the door out of the warehouse-room appear again.

"Oh, aye. Only a 'few.'"

You flip off his back and roll your eyes, but still follow him as he starts power-walking again down the corridor again like last time. Only now, with your Goggles on, you can actually see shit - it's like they're deliberately using as few lights as possible around here, or something? Dumb.

Anyway, the whole corridor isn't just grey and silver metal, now that you can basically see as if it were a sunny day at all times: there's tons of that same crystal that Prayer makes with her power all over the place, and some of the shiny bits you'd thought were polished metal are actually just panes of that same light-blue crystal.

Which… makes… sense? Qwarfy didn't seem to be bullshittin' you about how this whole damn building is like a super-sized version of your own powers, and most of Prayer's powers have that whole crystal-shard theme going for them, so… yeah. Kinda weird.

… buuuut it makes you want to see if there are city-sized Moonsilvers? They'd obviously have the best-looking power-buildings, after all, but would their roads be, like... giant silver slip-n-slides? Or would people get schlorped up in one place and spat out in others-...?

"... ya 'ad questions, lass?"

You let your Mask keep your face calm and cool like Jane Bond, but inwardly blink and put a pin in that last thought.

"Uh, yeah. Right," you clear your throat, adjusting your tie again because you're still getting used to it. "The powers this super Amulet has? I get most of 'em: super shiny to make me extra hot, tighten up to act like armor, secret pockets, turn into super-sharp weapons..."

For show, you demonstrate that last power by thinking at your Amulet for a split-second and then casually flicking your left hand - causing one of the buttons of your jacket to slip out into your fingers as a razor-sharp throwing dagger, made of that same kinda magic blue crystal as Prayer.

… okay, you didn't mean for it to look that bad-ass, but damn.

"Aye?" he nods, turning his head just enough to side-eye you as he continues to lead you through turns and down flights of stairs. Stairs without guardrails, too, which is sorta… weird. "Whadda 'bout tha Jade 'n Soulsteel 'ffects don'cha ken?"

Grunting, you think at your Amulet again and swap it to the 'Jade' power, causing the dagger in your hand to straight-up disintegrate in your hand, and your suit to suddenly sprout a bunch of weird army medals and shoulderpad tassles. Catching his eye, you point to the new bling.

"Yeah... this? How is this supposed'ta…" you pause, lowering your voice to ape Taylor's teacher-mode, "'reinforce my troops and ensure proper lines of communication'? And what the fuck does any of that even mean?"

His power-walk slows a bit so he's stomping around at a more normal speed, and you catch his mouth working as if he's either confused himself or thinking of something.

"Ah'm… nay much 'o a battlefield maven, lass. If'n Ah were 'ta guess, tho, it'd…" he pauses, humming for a second, before shrugging. "Maybe make any troops with ya tougher? An' they'd hear what ya'd be tellin' 'em 'ta do no matter what's goin' on 'round ya? Ach, bes' jes 'ta ask Endurin' Order Admin'strator when ya get back."

You roll your eyes, even through your Mask. "Duh. I mean, I was already gonna ask her to check out everything anyway, but… whatever. So anyway, about the last power?"

"Aye? Soulsteel?"
he snorts, focusing his gaze back on the dimly-lit corridors filled with random doors and… no other people, that you've seen these last few minutes. Huh. "Thinkin' Admin'strator's gonna wanna borrow yer new Amulet fer tha power?"

"Psh, as if - Taylor's always wearin' her power armor, and
that can just barf out fuckin'... millions of those robobugs she's been making," you groan, shuddering a bit at how creepy those things are: like some sorta spider mixed with a wasp and an ant, the size of your thumb. There's no fuckin' way she got those approved by Image.

Qwarfy sighs, his whole body slouching a bit as he shakes his head. "Ain't a day goes by tha Ah dunnae wish 'ta get mah hands on summat tha 'Tinkertech' we've been see'n in those memories. Been gettin' ideas 'f our own jes from watchin', but… 'ta be able 'ta run diagnostics-"

You cough, because he looks like he's about ready to start drooling in the middle of his power-walking. As fun as it'd be to watch him walk right off the edge of the stairwell you're in at the moment, he probably wouldn't take the fall as well as you can.

"Uh, yeah, that's great and all-"

He blinks, just in time to turn before hitting a wall of the stairwell.

"... A-ah, right! Right. Sorry, 'bout tha, lass-"

"-buuuuut as I was gonna say,"
you sigh, "it's not the power part I don't get, but, like, what happens if someone busts up the bees or rats that I make with the Amulet? It… 'de-attunes' for a whole day? What's that about?"

Shorty McRedbeard stops, still standing on the last stair before the bottom of the… what, fifteen floor? Twenty? You weren't really counting… stairwell. You keep walking, then stop at the bottom and turn around, just so he's about eye-level with the bottom of your chin instead of with your stomach. He's giving you a scowl, but again it's one of those 'damnit I should've thought of that' looks, not anything angry.

"Fergive me, lass," he sighs, looking away for a long moment before meeting your eyes again. "'S easy 'ta ferget tha ya don' ken ev'n tha mos' basic rules 'a tha world 'round here. 'Nd 'ere Ah've been - tossin' ya gear without 'splainin' tha firs', mos' basic part 'a Artifacts."

You frown, cocking your head as you try to figure if he's bullshittin' you, but… nah, looks like he's genuinely sorry about whatever this is. Idly, you pet Squiddie to make sure he doesn't freak out even more despite the movement, but he's been relatively chill this whole walk.

"Eh," you shrug. "No harm, no foul? You've cool with all the shit I've been giving you, so don't worry about it."

His beard twitches with a smile, and he does a long, slow half-bow.

"'Preciate it, Chosen."

"Ugh,"
you groan, waving away his formal-sounding tone before he starts getting like all the rest of the dwarves and elves around here. "Yeah, no. Just…. keep bein' real with me and I'll say we're even."

"Err… right, then,"
he blinks, then shakes his head, snorts, and wiggles the fingers on the hand not carrying the last metal briefcase at you. "Lemme 'splain 'bout attunement. Ya ken how y've been pushin' motes in'ta yer Tech'namorphic Inta'gration Engine 'ta… ahh… 'power up' tha Artifact yer gonna use?"

You cross your arms over your chest. "'Motes'? Is that what the energy I've got is called?"

Again, he just sorta stares at you for a second, then groans and facepalms. "... rrright. Lemme try tha again. Lass, do ya ken wha Essence is?"

You open your mouth to make the joke about precious bodily fluids, but… just shut your mouth and grunt, waving a hand that he should get on with it.

"Maker," he groans. "Dinnae Endurin' Order Admin'strator teach ya anythin' 'bout wha ya were signin' up fer?"

Wincing, you shrug. "I… guess? She only really gave, like, one presentation and I sorta forgot most of it by the time the Nine rolled through. Things have been fuckin' crazy, you know?"

"Too right,"
he grunts. "Well, make sure 'ta get 'er 'ta sit ya down 'n 'splain everythin' so ya don't run 'round half-blind when ya get back."

"Yeah, yeah. So… attunement? Essence?"


He grunts again, scratching his ponytail-held mess of hair. "Riiiight. Essence. Ah'm… nay quite sure how 'ta 'splain it to 'ya… quickly… any other way beyond... 'fuel fer magic'?"

You scowl, thinking about that for a few seconds.

… huh.

"So, like, my powers-"

"Charms."

You blink, then focus on him again as he raises a finger at you with a stern look.

"Ya gotta use tha right werds, lass. Werds 'ave meanin' with magic, ya ken? An each 'o yer new 'powers' 's a 'Charm'. Tha gear Ah've been givin' ya 're 'Artifacts'."

You grimace, squinting for a second as you pet Squiddie absently. Yeah, you remember seeing stuff in movies and books about magic how 'words have power' and all that junk, but… damn, that's both dumb and total ass.

"Ugh, damn. Really? Alright, then… what do I say when an Artifact does some magic? Is that a Charm too?"

Whoa, weird: you totally felt that capital 'C' when you said it. This new language is crazy.

Waggling his hand in a so-so gesture, Qwarfy shrugs. "Ehhh… tech'nally aye, tha's us'ally tha case, but... ther're times 's a Protocol 'o even Sorcery… an tha's more'n ya need 'ta ken righ' now. I… guess ya c'n say Artifacts 'ave 'powers' 'ntil ya ken tha diffr'nce fr'm Endurin' Order Admin'strator."

"Great,"
you sigh, making a chopping motion with your hand, "right. Okay. So, again: my Charms and Artifacts are powered by Essence. That's right?"

You can even see the teeth in his grin this time. "Too righ'!"

"Bitchin'. And so… the way I've
felt it so far is 'attunement' is when something sorta… holds on to the Essence in order to keep working?"

Nodding enough to send his ponytail floppin' about, Qwarfy keeps grinning. "Aye, tha's 'bout tha long 'n short 'a it! Ya jes gotta ken tha any 'o yer Essence bound up 'n keep'n Charms 're Artifacts runnin' ain't able 'ta be resperated 'till ya let tha Charm end or break tha attunement 'ta tha Artifact."

… you… stare at him for a few seconds as you work that out.

"Is… uh… 'resperated' meaning, like, 'regenerated' or something? So I can't regen the Essence that's stuck in a Charm or an Artifact until I'm done with 'em?"

Qwarfy laughs, then shoots you a thumbs-up. "Ya got't, lass! Put'n yer Fourth Intell'gence Augs 'ta good use 'lready!"

"Psh, whatever,"
you grin, buffing your fingernails on your jacket. "Shit's easy enough."

"Mhm,
sure," he snorts, pointing up at your head. "'N I'm suppose'n tha means ya ken wha 'ta do with yer pal up there, now?"

Pausing, you consider what he's implying.

"I… don't have to schlorp stuff up in order to attune to it? What, do I just… shove Essence into whatever to make it work?"

Again, he shrugs and offers a so-so hand waggle. "Ehhn, 'pends on tha Artifact. Ya c'n brute-force yer attunement if'n it dinnae 'ave 'n owner, buuut… pro'lly nay a good way 'ta go 'bout it. Fer instance, yer pal there's got a bit 'o a ritual wit-"

"Yeah, no,"
you snort, coinciding with a warble of surprise as the back of your head suddenly liquifies and devours Squiddie. "I know that word: long, boring ass bunch'a magic stuff like chanting and drawing runes and whatever. No thanks."

As Qwarfy snorts a laugh and rolls his eye, you focus a bit on your new tentacle buddy and what your… Charm says… about…

"Dude," you blink, then glare at Shortstack McGunsforbabies. "This thing is nuts! … Both ways!"

At his blank stare, you grab his leathery apron frustration. "Oh, yeah, sure, it's got all sorts of ways to give me armor and defend me, but that idiot made it so paranoid that it'll kill the shit outta anyone that even gets close to me if I don't keep telling it not to! Fuck, man, if I put it on now it'd probably try to stab you first thing!"

His unimpressed expression morphs into confusion, getting darker as you go on.

"Lass…" he starts, voice losing his usual joking tone, "... does yer Charm say tha it was always tha way? From tha start? Orrr did it… change 't all o'er tha years?"

Leaning back from his sudden serious tone, you let go of his apron and focus on what your Charm's telling you about Squiddie.

"Uh… yeah it... got more paranoid over the years until it got dropped somewhere in the 'Wastes'?"

Qwarfy's lone eye goes wide and what you can see of his tan skin goes pale as he jabs a finger at you while dropping the briefcase and using that hand to search his apron pockets.

"Lass, tha's- tha's tha firs' sign'sa tha Maker's Sickness! Get't outta ya! NOW!" he shouts, pointing the finger at the metal-and-crystal-patterned floor of the stairwell. "Spit it out there, an DON'T ATTUNE 'TA IT!"

A twisting, cold dread spikes through your spine as you throw your hand out and practically scream at your Charm to get it out of you RIGHT NOW-

Blooorp-splat!

The whimpering squid-thing hits the floor and looks ready to bolt-

Qwarfy's big, meaty hand - now wrapped in a much bigger, bulkier and tricked-out glove - slams down on the phone-sized squid. The silver tentacles arch up as if to lash out at him, but suddenly there's a blast of heat and light-

FWOOSH!

Screeeeee-!

FWOOOOSH!


...

FWOOOOOSH!

...

… and all that's left is a bubbling mess of silver and gems, the floor beneath even melted to slag in the shape of his head-sized handprint after the third blastwave.

Qwarfy stays bent over as he pulls his gloved hand away, only to bring up a half-sphere of solid black metal that he flips over on top of the whole area - causing a series of wicked-looking claws to pop out of the half-sphere's side and dig into the floor around it, sealing it completely.

… that looks a lot like how the PRT troopers are supposed to take care of bombs, now that you think about it. Not the fire-glove thing, the half-sphere thing.

Shit. Shit shit shit.

Qwarfy slowly turns to you, the look in his eye the same you saw in Taylor's during the Nine fight.

"Tha one Ah checked yes'trday dinnae'd come from tha Wastes, lass," he explains, coldly. "Any 'o tha others changed since they 'er made? Or came out'ta tha Wastes?"

You shake your head.

"I-I've been checking while you were roasting Squ-... that thing. Nothin' else."

"Right,"
he nods, slowly, never taking his eye off you. "Still… ya realize we gotta check ya out now?"

You try very, very hard not to make any sudden movements, despite all your normal instincts itching to snark back or even blow it off. Hell, this sounds like a Jane Bond kind of setup to get her framed and have to restore her good name or some shit like that.

You… could probably take him, but… no. That's like the worst possible thing you could do right now, and you have no fucking clue how this world works outside anyway. So… yeah. Gotta play it cool.

"Alright, sure," you sigh, holding up your hands in surrender. "Let's… just get it over with so I can go home."

He nods, a bit of a sad smile flicking across his face that doesn't reach his eye.

"Square on, lass. 'M sure Mog 'll see things right. Fer both'a us."


***


The two of you wait in silence for at least a minute as the black dome rumbles disturbingly before finally giving off a deep, creepy bong sound at the same time a gem on its top changes from red to green. Qwarfy keeps his eye on you, even when he bends down and presses the gem to cause the whole thing to collapse up into a thin, curved sheet of black metal again.

All that's left behind is a perfectly flat, steaming-white sheet of glass.

Still with your hands up, you glance at where Squiddie got completely obliterated, then back up to your hairy guide.

"So… uh… what now?"

He doesn't respond immediately, but instead seems to consider you for a few awkward seconds before sighing and shaking his head.

Closing his eye, he finishes tucking away the black strip of metal into one of his pouches and brings his hands together in a weird kinda-prayer hand signal. His beard twitches a few times like he's mouthing something, but you don't hear anything - not until he sighs again and breaks his hands apart to reach to the left and knock three times on one of the flat planes of crystal on the stairwell's wall.

"Espinoquae," he says, flatly, like he's reciting something. "Ah clear ya fer entry."

You frown in confusion as the crystal pane ripples where he knocked on it, the motion carrying out and away from his last knock until it's passed over everything in the stairwell and moved past where you can see it.



"... was that supposed to do someth-?"

"Director Torrek."

"-iiING MAKER FUCK!"

Jumping halfway out of your own damn skin, you flip around in mid-air to see there's some kinda tall, blue-robed dude looming over where you just were standing. Except he's… made out of cables and has a bluish mirror for a face, and is still part-way sticking out of the crystal on the wall you were standing in front of.

Landing in a combat ready pose that isn't what Bladedancer taught but… feels right… you point at Mirror-douche.

"Not cool! That's my schtick!"

Both of them slowly turn their heads to you.

… You retract your hand and go back to holding both your arms up in surrender.

"... Sorry."

Qwarfy-... Eh. Torrek, you guess…

Torrek looks like he ate a whole lemon, but doesn't say anything before turning back to Lookinglasshole and bowing at the waist… and staying bowed.

"This Honored Servant 's graced by yer presence, All-Seeing Espinoquae. Ah r'pealed tha ward 'cause…" he trails off, gesturing with one hand to the still-steaming circle of hot metal. "Someone tried 'ta-... someone swapped a tainted Artifact fer what Tha Great Maker ordered us 'ta give 'ta What Memory Serves."

It's… weird hearing him be so serious. Nervous, even. Considering how he was mouthing off to Bluesy before and he/she's the entire damn city

Shit.

Mirror-face doesn't reply immediately, as he's busy still… staring at you? Checking you out? He doesn't have any eyes or face-parts, so you can't really get a bead on what he's doing besides pointing his head in your direction. It's creepy, and you make sure to keep your own Mask-face from showing anything but your own calm, collected expression back at him.

Finally, after what feels like an hour, he finally turns his whole body to look back to the still-bowing Torrek and speaks in a voice that feels and sounds like it's drifting out of every piece of crystal in the stairwell.

"Warned Omnideific Martyr."

Torrek's whole, huge frame flinches.

"Ah-… Ah'm nay one 'ta speak 'ta Om's reasonin', sir. But she does seem 'ta 'ave contact with tha Great Maker 'isself? Wouldn'ta blocked off tha whole Complex without a reason, aye?"

The Cable Guy tilts his head to the side, as if considering this for a few seconds.

"Correct."

The voice is so… weirdly calm, like he's not even really paying attention to you. Kinda pissing you off for some reason, since this is sorta a big fuckin' deal here-...

… and then he's back to staring at you.

Wait. Now you get it. This is, like, their version of Director Uriel, isn't it? Except actually powerful, instead of just being able to take you off patrols or assigning you extra training sessions with Bladedancer. Which means you can't just use your power to dick with him in return.

There's a little more interest the voice when it drifts out of the walls again. Interest in the 'I'm sorta busy but I can come over there and nuke your town' way.

"Exposed Chosen?"

Uh. Shit.

Torrek finally straightens up a bit, holding both his arms out in a 'wait up' gesture even though Mirror-face isn't looking at him. "S-She dinnae attune 'ta it, sir! 'N… 'nd she only 'ad it in 'er Tech'namorphic In'tagration Engine fer less than a minute!"

You shoot him a glare at that last part. What the hell, man!? Snitches are bitches!

Robo-mirror tilts his head as he looks at you, causing your reflection in his face to… tilt with it? Weird.

"Endodiagnostic Analytical Routines?"

Huh? What's- oh, right, the submod that lets you understand… ah, fuck.

Even though you can tell it's like pulling teeth for him, he still gives a slight nod. He doesn't meet your gaze, though, still keeping it stuck to the floor.

"... aye, sir."

You clear your throat.

"I… uh… don't feel any different? … Sir?"

Chromedome doesn't say anything back, but Torrek doesn't freak out any more than he was freaking out already so you figure it was a solid try.

… still, though. Suuuper awkward the way he's just staring at you.

"Completed Scan. Confirmed Clear."

You slump, letting your arms down as you sigh in relief. Torrek doesn't collapse, but instead… falls to the floor in a sort-of hasty, kiss-the-floor kinda bow instead of what he was doing before. He sounds relieved, too, but… is he… crying?

"P-praises 'ta that Great Maker, fer 'Is 's tha Glory tha Designed-!"

"Tripped Contingency. Notified Mog."

You blink as Torrek's chant cuts off, strangled in his throat at the casual announcement. He stays that way for a few seconds before he glances up at Mirrorface.

Mirrorface stares back.

Swallowing heavily enough to shake his beard, Torrek glances over to you and motions for you to get down as well.

"Lass," he whispers, grinning hard despite the tear still in his eye, "been a right pleasure-"

The world goes white, your ears ring and you're suddenly against the far wall as the force of some sort of thunderous explosion sends you staggering back until your back foot hits the wall.

"FAILURE."

The word is a thunderclap against your senses, going right through your ears and into your brain. It hammers you like a physical force, almost driving you to your knees if you weren't already gritting your teeth through the sudden, crushing pressure to sit down and shut up that's hammering at your very soul. Makes it… hard to think.

Isss'a... familiar feeling. Hard to forget.

You blink a few times and look up at the Endbringer in the room.

Like a bunch of lightning stuck together in the shape of a person. Wearing a cloak that's waving all around, not really hiding his 'body' at all, and… a pair of gold gloves and boots. Human-ish face, kinda... like Accord's mask.

Looks pissed as fuck at Torrek.

… You've faced bigger. And scarier.

Looks like Mirror-face left, though. Fucker called the cops and split.

"YOU ARE PROVEN UNWORTHY, FIRSTBORN. THIS DIVINE TASK IS BEYOND YOUR KIND."

The ten-foot lightning man stops pointing angrily at Torrek, turns, then floats over to you. You don't even have time to react as his giant gold hands start crackling with even more lightning and he reaches out with both arms to grab your face-

"THE INNOCENT AND THE PURE FEAR NOT THE MAKER'S JUDGMENT."

Your mind your body your soul is on fire it burns it burns-!

"PROVE YOURSELF, CHOSEN."


***


...


***


"...-eaning of this, Mog?!"

Wh… what…

Too hard to… move your head. Can't… look up from the floor, but... sounds like... Blueboy? Musta… come outta the wall behind you? Or... one of the walls...

… Too late.

"YOUR SERVANTS IMPERILED US ALL, MARTYR. THEY HAVE BEEN JUDGED."

There's another thundercrack of sound and light, scattering the nearby pile of ash and sending you tumbling away into darkness again.


***


When you wake up in the tank, you blink a few times and stare blankly through the greenish goop.

You feel… calm.

Like, way too calm for what just happened. Is… is this that robo-mode that Taylor got stuck in before? And that Prayer is in, like, all the damn time?

Ugh. You hope not. Robomode is super lame.

After a while of just... floating there for a while, you… don't think this is robomode? Taylor and Prayer can get, like, frustrated and angry and shit when they're robo'd, but…

It all feels… far off. Like you're not actually feeling anything, or you're in a dream or something.

Detached, yeah, that's the word.

See? You don't even feel pumped that you remembered a big word like that. Sorta just, 'yeah okay whatever I guess what's next' about everything. Even thinking about… dumb shit you've done in the past doesn't really make you feel any different.

That fucker… Mog? Yeah. He must'a done something to you. Damn. Maybe you can ask-...

… all the elves and dwarves are gone.

These guys look... human. Even got the gems in their foreheads.



Huh.

"Judged," he said.



Fuck.

... could you have... said something? Stopped him?

Who knows.

He's gonna pay, though. That's for sure.

...

Aaaaaaaand Mogerfucker also took all the shit you were wearing. Fan-fucking-tastic. Probably would've jacked the shit in your storage if he could have, too.

Oh, hey. Looks like these chumps have finally noticed you're awake again. The... other guys would have noticed faster.

...

Whatever.


***


LIGHTNING VOTE: WHAT DOES AISHA FIND IN THE ARTIFACT VAULT?
[ ] Aisha Finds Something To Troll Brian
[X] Aisha Finds Something Awesome For Brian


***


You ask the tech dudes what the hell Mogerfucker did to your head to make you feel all not-feely.

They freak out for a while at you calling him that, then start kissing his ass about how "in his benevolence" he cast some magic-tech lingo stuff to keep you "ordered" and "dedicated" and blah blah blah.

You tell them to fix it.

They say they can't. Right.

You tune all these bozos out and ask for Om.

They say she's busy.

You tell them to give you your shit back and send you back home.

… and that Torrek promised to give you something awesome for Brian before you left, on top of your normal shit.

And a car.

They get pissy.

You toggle your Power-Charm and try again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

You sorta lose count after a while, but these guys just reek of bein' Mogerfucker toolbags, so… fuck'em.

It doesn't even feel good (or bad) that you eventually figure out a way to convince 'em that yes, the Maker totally approved of what was happening before, since he wouldn't have made you wake up at all otherwise, and so what Torrek (fuck that "previous administration" crap they keep calling those guys) promised you is legit.

It also helps that Om finally shows up to tell you cut it out with the Power-Charm trick and to tell them to just give you what you want. You sorta… blink at him when he glances at you with a weird expression, but just as you're about to ask him what happened to the rest of the dwarves and elves… he walks back out through a wall again.

You're not even mad. Because you literally can't be mad.

So you just sorta... wait, half-sitting on the slab as they bring up a bunch of copies of the things from the checklist that you don't have in your storage. Takes 'em a while, but eventually they come through with copies of what you're missing.

Except for your kick-ass Amulet. You get the same one back, since there's apparently only one of those in the warehouse. Lord Lightning Douche tried to hide it by putting it back in the racks, but Om eventually found it for you after having to come and tell you to knock off using your Power-Charm again to get them to keep going back.

You get a brand-new Squiddie instead of an older one, even though you're pretty sure Torrek had set aside an older one for you. Still, kinda weird how it looks when it's actually off - ike a sortof… squid-themed arm-thing? A... bracer, right. You just schlorp it - and the rest of the gear - up without any extra noise or fuss, and keep it all inside instead of wearing any of it before you get sent back.

For the "awesome" Artifact for Bro, they try to get you to explain what you mean but you just tell 'em that your Bro can't use Essence and that they should try to impress you.

… okay, you totally use your Mask to make sure you give them a your-face version of Taylor's 'obey me or I blacklist your entire department from the orgasmic coffee deliveries' when you give that order. Then you put it back in storage before anyone figures out to call you on it.

They come back with a few options.

The power armor looks rad, and they said it'd even be good against guns and shit... but it'd age Bro by a year for every hour he wore it. You were pretty sure you'd have slapped the dude for even suggesting it if you could feel angry.

The armchair that could turn into any type of furniture was… weird. Cool? You're not sure how you would feel about it if you could feel. Bro sorta does live like a bachelor, so it's not a bad idea… but you only really consider it until they explain what the third thing they brought up was.

A never-ending bottle of body oil that makes you "hard as steel."

You really… really wish you could laugh. Like, you know it's hilarious… you just don't feel like laughing. Damn that fucker for killing even your mood.

You settle for just grabbing the flask and schlorping it before the dude finishes explaining what it actually does. Which, turns out, is magic-up a single body's worth of 'make you damn-near bulletproof for five hours' oil every twenty-four hours. Doesn't work with armor, though, but Bro doesn't really wear any so… yeah. Keep his squishy meat-body safe. Fuck yeah you're the best sister ever.

The dude who brought it outta the warehouse is the oldest of the crew. You give him a pat on the head, and tell him that he's almost as good as Torrek.

They all sorta get awkward and uncomfortable at that, but the dude at least thanks you for the "compliment" before going back to work.

Toolbags.

The final thing they bring up is… Torrek's last briefcase. He'd been trying to take you down to the "testing room" at the bottom of the facility to show it off there. He'd led the team that made it, he said.

The ass-kissing jerks just pop open the case and hand it over, all huffy like… they should'a been the ones to make it, not Torrek.

You take out the sleek, silver, rune-and-circuit-covered gloves, and schlorp them up.

...huh.

It's… weird, how it makes a sort of Torrek-like sense.

Pushing a whole bunch of Essence into your Charm, you equip the gloves and bring your hands together. With another push of Essence and a sound straight outta Star Wars, a giant-ass sword made entirely outta a pale, silver-blue hissing energy screams to life from your hands.

With barely a thought and a single drop of Essence, the giant sword becomes a giant mallet. Repeating the effort, it becomes a halberd like Armsmaster's.

How do you make a shape-shifting lightsaber that doesn't cut off the user's hands?

Easy. "Make't a pair 'a gloves!"

If you could still feel anything, you'd probably threaten the dipshits here or test out the cutting power by slicing through the examination slab.

You dismiss your Omnibeamklave and schlorp the gloves back into storage.

He even managed to give it a half-way decent name, all on his own.

You give the tech dudes a stare.

"Where's my car?"


***


The car, apparently, will meet you at the portal back home.

That sounds weird, but then you remember: robots.

It's probably a smart car. Which… makes sense, since the PRT'll still think you're only fourteen when you get back. Not that you've spent a bunch of years over here or something, but… you've got an adult body now! Or, hell, any body you want with your shapeshifting Charm. Also, tons of robot junk in your brain to make you better at stuff, which definitely should count for at least a few years of age.

Eh. Taylor can make you a fake ID.

… scratch that. She'd probably put a GPS tracker in it or something to keep tabs on you.

Whatever, you'll just ask Kinzey to hook you up with whoever did hers. Worst case, you can just loot an ID off a perp and shapeshift until you get it modified. Or... modify it yourself with your omnitool Charm-hands? Might be worth a few tries.

By the time you settle on just driving as your older-self and mind-whamming cops that stop you with your Power-charm, they've carted you on the slab all the way up to the top-most floor of the building. Boring, and it's weird that Torrek made you take the stairs when there was a perfectly-good elevator in the building this whole time, but… whatever, you don't wanna think about that right now since you can't get worked up over it like you should be able to.

Turns out the top floor is just one giant-ass room with a crystal ceiling, so when they push you out of the elevator you stare straight up and through…

...

"Fascinating, yes?"

You blink, and realize they've pushed you almost all the way into the center of the room, judging by a quick turn of your head to check out the room's walls.

Also, Saki is standing next to your slab. A fuck-huge jungle cat made of silver is sitting next to her, taller than her even sitting down.

The cat is frowning at you. Saki is smiling.

Also, all the tech dudes are face-down on the floor, praying in Saki's direction.

You sit up and stare for a few seconds, then point at the Saki-from-a-few-weeks-ago.

"Saki gave herself bigger tits when she got back, so Sakura probably did too. Who're you?"

Not-Saki laughs, holding her hand in front of her mouth, and you realize that the voice from before hadn't sounded like Saki or Sakura either.

"Astute, yes," Fake-Saki sighs. "But she didn't, no."

"... so she doesn't have the shape-changing Charm?"

Copy-Saki shrugs in a way that's way more liquid-y than a human with bones can pull off, still smiling.

"She does, yes. Have I asked why not? No."

Huh. Weird.

"Can you get her to come here before leave?"

She starts walking towards the giant circle-portal-thing that's set up in the middle of the room. It kinda looks like Saki's portal in her dimension… but with tons more wires and crystals and magic-tech bullshit all over the place and up into the walls and floor. The biggest difference is the mad-Tinker lightning coil-thing that runs from the top of the portal all the way up to the ceiling a hundred feet up.

"Come here? Yes. Before you leave? No."

… you're pretty sure you'd be feeling really annoyed right now if you could feel anything.

"Why not? You're like, super-powerful if these toolbags here are kissin' dirt like this, so just… magic her over here or somethin'."

Sham-Saki stops smiling. 'Cause she stops having a mouth at all, though that doesn't stop her from talking.

Her eyes are… kinda sad, though, even if her voice is cheery.

"Powerful, yes. Would take her away from battle, yes. Would result in many lives lost, yes."



You look up for a bit. Stare.

Eventually, you turn your head back down and look at the tech dudes, who haven't stopped mumbling prayers this whole time. Then you look at Fake-Saki again.

"This place is fucked up."

Not-Saki freezes for a few seconds, then... ripples from the top of her head all the way to the floor.

Her eyes are still sad.

"Yes."

Hmm.

You turn and look at the giant-ass robo-tiger. He's got that slick-as-hell style of kinda-organic machinery mixed in with liquid metal parts that you do when you're not hiding your Charms, so… you suppose he's alright.

"Are you my car?"

It… blinks. Slowly, like you just said the dumbest thing it's ever heard.

So… like a cat, you guess.

Then it gets up, pads over so it's right in front of you, sits down again, lifts its right paw-

-and smushes your face.

"Muuuruffh."

… you'd insult him back, but you can't exactly talk like this.

So you just flick him off.

"Murr."



You lick his paw. It tastes like vengeance.

He retracts his paw and glares at you.

"Mmmmmrrrrr."

"Curious, yes."

Mock-Saki is close enough to breathe on you, leaning-and-stretching over the slab to stare at you from your left, close enough to breathe on you if she still had a mouth... or nose, anymore, too.

"Fucked and crazy."

At least her eyes are kinda happy, now.

"Stagnant, no. Hopeful? Yes."

You grunt. "Well, Taylor and the rest of us are gonna save the world and all."

The Hoax-Saki head bobs up and down.

"Expedite this, yes?"

You wave a hand and lie back down on the slab.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see if I can speed things up even more than Taylor's already do-hooooof!"

"Mmmmuuuurf."


You lean your head up to meet the eyes of your pussywagon, which is now comfortably - for him - squashing you.

"... I'm only gonna feed you diet oil when we get back home."

He stares at you, glowing blue eyes stabbing into your soul-

-then smooshes your face back down onto the slab with a big, fat paw.

You feel the slab start moving again, and there's a loud mess of noise from the portal area - lightning crackling, gears turning, all that sorta magic-tech stuff that'd be really cool to watch if you could feel any sense of awe or stuff.

The slab stops just as you feel the tilt of the ramp leading to the portal, and Fatcat pulls his paw away to let you see and speak again.

...

Not-Saki leans over, obstructing your view of how the crystal ceiling has opened up to allow the lightning rod to reach up… up… up…

… into the millions, billions of strands of spun diamond criss-crossing the entire sky, lit up by city-sized bolts of lightning. Lightning that is now pouring down into the crackling portal just a few feet from your head.

"Careful, yes?" she whispers through the storm of noise and power around you, eyes melting into solid, glowing silver. "We know no Iris, no."

"Wha-"

"Shhh," her finger across your lips cuts you off. "Shhhh. A question, yes? Before you go, yes?"

You blink. She leans in closer, and a grin grows from the blankness to split her face.

"What are you?"

The slab rumbles, and you can feel the power in the air pulling, tearing as the portal continues to stay open for longer than it's probably designed to stand. It's like the whole world around you is vibrating, pent-up and ready to blow at any second-

"I'm awesome. Duh."

The face widens in order to grin even more, and the finger slides up to poke you in your gem-

PAINJOYDESPAIRMAGICARTIFACTSCHARMSBODYOILGIANTCATCRYSTALSKYTORREKWHYDIDNTIDOSOMETHING-

Every emotion you've ever had floods your mind, your soul-

"Come back soon, yes?"

The slab is shoved into the portal-


***


In an empty, star-less universe, a planet-sized Eye regards you tiredly, then closes in satisfaction.



Damn right.



***


In a burst of forest-fresh pine air, you make use of ALL THE DEXTERITY and flip, orienting yourself to stick the landing on-... Taylor's Doom Ball? Oh, right-...

Wait! You're back! Ahahaaha, fuck yea!

You feel… everything. Every-...

...

… everything.

… you wanna scream, curse, barf... but... Taylor's probably watching.

You start laughing and jump into the air, starting to pull on your movement Charms, but… then you feel The Cat underneath you, carrying you up and away.

... yeah. Probably for the best.

Better for everyone if Taylor doesn't see you crying first thing when you get back.


***


CHAPTER 10.3 CHANGES: WHAT MEMORY SERVES CHARACTER SHEET ESTABLISHED, SEE BELOW
NAME: What Memory Serves
ALIASES: Aisha Laborn (Human-form Name), Who (Cape Name)
EXALTATION: Alchemical
CASTE: Moonsilver
ICONIC ANIMA: Rippling field of pale silver and white extending outwards, as if ripples from a pond, through which a pair of feline eyes can be occasionally glimpsed reflecting back out.
MOTIVATION: Be Remembered
ESSENCE: ●●●○○

ATTRIBUTES:
(Points in Red are from Augmentation Charms)
- CASTE:
Dexterity ●●●●● ●●
Appearance ●●●●●
Wits ●●●●●
- FAVORED:
Strength ●●●○○
Manipulation ●●●○○ ○○
Perception ●●●●○
- OTHER:
Stamina ●●●●● ○○
Charisma ●●●●○
Intelligence ●●●●○○


ABILITIES:
Archery/Firearms ●○○○○
Athletics ●●●●○
Awareness ●●●○○ (Specialty: Street-wise ●●○, Pranking Opportunities ●○○)
Bureaucracy
Craft
Dodge ●●●○○ (Specialty: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT ●●○)
Integrity ●●●○○
Investigation ●●○○○
Larceny ●●●●○ (Specialty: Fucking With People ●●○)
Linguistics (Native: Old Realm, English) ●○○○○
Lore ●○○○○ (Specialty: Parahumans ●○○)
Martial Arts ●●●●●
Medicine ●○○○○ (Specialty: Walk It Off ●○○)
Melee ●○○○○ (Specialty: Baseball Bat ●○○)
Occult
Performance ●○○○○
Presence ●●○○○ (Specialty: In Your Face ●●●)
Resistance ●●●○○
Ride ●●○○○ (Specialty: Like It's Stolen ●●○)
Sail
Socialize ●○○○○
Stealth ●●●●○ (Specialty: Not Worth Your Time ●●●)
Survival ●●●○○ (Specialty: The Streets ●●○)
Thrown ●○○○○
War

PURCHASABLE ABILITIES:
We are using a House Rule with flat XP costs and reduced training durations.
*-Linguistics (Autochthonian Insults ●○○)
*Occult ●○○○○


CHARMS: ([Red] is the Internal Essence Pool Cost)
- DEDICATED:
Shard of Safeguarded Perception [3m]

- Sub-Module: Detritus Defragmentation
- Sub-Module: Memetic Guardian Protocols [INACTIVE]
- Sub-Module: Cascading Memory Fault [INACTIVE]
4th Dexterity Augmentation (x2) [1m]
4th Manipulation Augmentation (x2) [1m]
Aura Dampening Component [0m]
Gyroscopic Stability System [0m]

- Sub-Module: Stabilizer Beacon
Husk-Sculpting Apparatus [2m]
- Sub-Module: Self-Sculpt
- Sub-Module: Identity Distortion Mirage
- Sub-Module: Vocal Modulator Field
Integrated Artifact Transmogrifier [1m]
- Sub-Module: Loom Server Migration
- Sub-Module: Essence-Muting Baffles
Momentum Redirection Pulse Injector [0m]
Omnitools Implant [1m]

- Sub-Module: Comprehensive Surgical Systems (x2)
- Sub-Module: Secondary Telefactor Assembly
Parabolic Leap Overcharger Device [0m]
Personal Gravity Manipulation Apparatus [1m]
Perfected Lotus Matrix
[2m] [CANNOT BE REMOVED]
- Sub-Module: Lotus Filament Conduction
Radiant Iconography Array [0m]
- Sub-Module: Chromatic Lies

- GENERAL:
4th Intelligence Augmentation
(x2) [1m]
4th Stamina Augmentation (x2) [1m]
Alloyed Reinforcement of Flesh
[0m]
- Sub-Module: Tireless Pneumatic Musculature
Essence Irradiation Corona [0m]
- Sub-Module: Optimized Trauma Upgrade
Industrial Survival Frame [1m]
- Sub-Module: Crystal
- Sub-Module: Lightning
- Sub-Module: Metal
- Sub-Module: Oil
- Sub-Module: Smoke
- Sub-Module: Steam
- Sub-Module: Sixfold Transcendence Synergy
Optical Shroud [2m]
- Sub-Module: Dynamic Cloaking Module
- Sub-Module: Sense-Countering Upgrades
- Sub-Module: Echo Chamber Vocalization
Paramagnetic Tether Beam [1m]
- Sub-Module: Recursive Force Suspension
- Sub-Module: Cohesion Buffer
- Sub-Module: Psychokinetic Reinforcement Array
Technomorphic Integration Engine [1m]
- Sub-Module: Precursor Technology Absorption (x2)
- Sub-Module: Endodiagnostic Analytical Routines
- Sub-Module: Pattern-Mending Integration
- Sub-Module: Instant Aegis Upgrade
- Sub-Module: Resonance Harmonizer (x3)

- PANOPLY: (Charms Not Currently Installed)
Accelerated Response System [Dodge] [1m]
Chemical Fog Generator [1m]

- Sub-Module: Tear Gas
- Sub-Module: Clandestine Toxin System
- Sub-Module: Vectored Toxin Deployment
- Sub-Module: Psychogenic Gas
- Sub-Module: Sense-Destroying Gas
Dynamic Reaction Enhancement System [1m]
- Sub-Module: Subsynaptic Accelerator
- Sub-Module: Cluster Action Hyperprocessor
Imprinted Data Cluster [1m]
Incomparable Efficiency Upgrade [0m]
- Sub-Module: Hypercalibration Benediction
Interpolative Syntax Emulator [1m]
- Sub-Module: Infallible Fluency Vocoder
Manifold Transhuman Implants [1m]
- Mutation: Supernatural Quickness [●●●●●●]
- Mutation: Inexhaustible [●●]
Pheromone Regulation Systems [1m]
- Sub-Module: Instinctual Aversion Formula
- Sub-Module: Biochemical Lozenge Machine

- MARTIAL ARTS CHARMS:
Style: Crystal Chameleon

This ancient Celestial martial art dates back to the Primordial War, when it was innovated and used by the Chosen of Mercury to help deliver vital mes-sages despite overwhelming Primordial opposition. Demons and Lintha alike were left blinking and confused as practitioners quickly blurred through their blockades, leaving only footprints and corpses to mark their passing. It is still strongly favored today for its mixture of surprise and speed. Those who have fought a Blinding Prism (as practitioners of this style are known) rarely know precisely what hit them, and that suits the needs of the Viziers of the Second Age perfectly. Unbeknownst to its Sidereal inventors, the style is also widely popular in Autochthonia.

Weapons and Armor: Crystal Chameleon style treats attacks made with the spear, rope dart, weighted rope and their artifact equivalents as unarmed for the purpose of its Charms. It is incompatible with armor.
Complementary Abilities: To properly execute the lightning-fast movements and sudden ambushes of the style, practitioners must have at least three dots spread between Stealth and Athletics.

Just Another Branch Deceit
Cost: 4m; Mins: Martial Arts 2, Essence 2
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Combo-basic
Duration: Instant
Prerequisite Charms: None
Radiating Essence through his chakras in a precisely controlled array, the character breaks light around himself, creating intermittent highlights of illumination and shadow throughout the area which help draw attention away from himself. This Charm may supplement an attempt to reestablish surprise (see Exalted, p. 156) during combat, adding three automatic successes to the attempt. If the character enjoys more than 50% hard cover due to the environment at the time of activation, the Charm provides four automatic successes instead. The martial artist must still have the opportunity to attempt to reestablish surprise in the first place.

Light-Treading Technique
Cost: 3m, 1wp; Mins: Martial Arts 3, Essence 2
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: Combo-OK, Obvious
Duration: One scene
Prerequisite Charms: None
Extending her anima in an ablative envelope around her, the martial artist eases her passage through the world. She adds her Martial Arts rating in yards to her Move and Dash actions, and raises her Dodge DV by one against ranged attacks.

Flashing Passage
Cost: 2m, 1wp; Mins: Martial Arts 3, Essence 2
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Combo-OK, Obvious
Duration: One action
Prerequisite Charms: Just Another Branch Deceit, Light-Treading Technique
Collapsing her Essence into pure forward momentum, the martial artist briefly blurs and disappears from sight. This Charm supplements a Dash action, which may not be part of a flurry. The total distance the character travels is quadrupled after all other modifiers, and she cannot be seen or targeted while moving. This Charm"s stealth element explicitly fails without provoking a roll-off against effects that would allow others to notice an otherwise perfectly invisible character.

Crystal Chameleon Form
Cost: 6m; Mins: Martial Arts 4, Essence 2
Type: Simple
Keywords: Form-type, Obvious
Duration: One scene
Prerequisite Charms: Flashing Passage
The martial artist strikes her anima banner, fracturing it into a shifting prism. It becomes impossible to precisely fix her location, imposing a -2 external penalty on all attacks directed at the character. She is always considered to meet the requirements to attempt to reestablish surprise during combat while this Charm is active.

Flashing Leaves Evasion
Cost: 6m; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 2
Type: Reflexive (Step 2)
Keywords: Combo-OK, Obvious
Duration: Instant
Prerequisite Charms: Crystal Chameleon Form
Putting on a sudden burst of speed, the martial artist melts into a blur as an attack closes in on her, briefly disappearing and reappearing to evade the blow. This Charm sets an incoming attack"s successes to 0 in Step Three after all other modifiers. This does mean that rerolls (which occur in Step Four) may allow an attack to bypass this form of defense. This weakness is considered to be a special flaw of invulnerability. Flashing Leaves Evasion does not function against attacks that are undodgeable or unexpected.

Shattered Crystal Rebuke
Cost: 5m, 1wp; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 3
Type: Reflexive (Step 9)
Keywords: Combo-OK, Counterattack, Obvious
Duration: Instant
Prerequisite Charms: Flashing Leaves Evasion
Subjected to attack, the crystal shatters, wounding its attacker rather than defending itself. This Charm may be invoked in response to an attack, whether it strikes the martial artist or not. The character vanishes in a blur of speed, reappearing behind his attacker. This movement allows for a reflexive attempt to re-establish surprise. This action does not impede resolution of the original attack in any way, and is considered to be a form of counterattack. If the martial artist is the target of a flurry, she may invoke this Charm in response to only the final attack in that flurry.

Razor-Edged Prism Assault
Cost: 7m, 1wp; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 2
Type: Extra Action
Keywords: Combo-OK, Obvious
Duration: Instant
Prerequisite Charms: Crystal Chameleon Form
Accelerating into a flickering blur of unleashed violence, the Blinding Prism strikes a foe from many angles, moving so fast that her attacks seem to occur simultaneously. The character launches a flurry of (Essence) unarmed attacks at her full dice pool against a single opponent. This flurry ignores Rate and has a total Speed and DV penalty equal to the highest of any single attack in the flurry. These attacks all impose a coordinated attack penalty on the target"s DVs equal to the total number of attacks in the flurry.

Death From Nowhere Method
Cost: 4m; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 3
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Combo-OK
Duration: Instant
Prerequisite Charms: Razor-Edged Prism Assault
In one moment the battlefield is serene; in the next, the martial artist has already struck. This deadly Charm may be used to supplement an unexpectedmunarmed attack, doubling any levels of damageminflicted in Step Ten.

Stepping Beyond Light Prana
Cost: 10m; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 3
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: Obvious
Duration: One scene
Prerequisite Charms: Death from Nowhere Method, Shattered Prism Rebuke
The martial artist focuses her Essence into her lungs then breathes it out into her anima, which shivers into a kaleidoscope that expands to intermittently flicker through an area with a radius of (Essence x 50) yards, roughly centered on the martial artist and moving with her. While this emphatically announces the Blinding Prism"s general presence, it also conceals her precise location. She becomes invisible, imposing a -2 external penalty on all attempts to precisely locate or target her with attacks. This invisibility fails during any tick when the martial artist attacks, voiding the protection it affords during that moment.


BACKGROUNDS:
Artifact
●●●●● ●● (Autochthonian Chosen: Requisition five dots of Artifact for cost of one dot.)
- Collar of Dawn's Cleansing Light ●○○○○
- Essence Scrying Visor ●○○○○
- Perfected Boots ●○○○○
- Klaxon of the Authorized Passage ●●○○○
- Mask ●●○○○
- Endless Phial (Steelskin Oil) ●●○○○
- Translation Crystal ●●○○○
- Dragonfly's Roving Eye ●●●○○
- Infinite Resplendence Amulet (Orichalcum, Moonsilver, Starmetal, Jade, Soulsteel, Adamant) ●●●●●
- Omnibeamklave ●●●●●
- Quicksilver Aegis Talisman ●●●●●
Backing (PRT) ●○○○○
Eidolon/Past Lives ●●●○○
Familiar (J-L-001) ●●●●○
Mentor (Autochthon) ●●●●●
Reputation (Ward) ●○○○○
Resources ●○○○○

PURCHASABLE BACKGROUNDS:
*Connections (Jadeborn)
●●●○○


INTIMACIES:
RED Intimacies have not been fully-established yet, and are not used for bonuses/negatives.
GREY Intimacies yield the normal bonuses/negatives until fully eroded.
My Mortal Existence (I Believe I Am Aisha) [Illusion] ●●●
Enduring Order Administrator (Queen of Getting Shit Done) [Servitude] ●●●
Enduring Order Administrator (She Remembers) [Illusion] ●●●
Brian Laborn|Slate (Gotta Look Out For Big Bro) [Servitude] ●●●
Philadelphia Wards (My Jerks) [Illusion] ●●●
PRT (Being A White Hat Has Perks) [Illusion] ●●●
Armsmaster (Keeps His Spare Halberd Up His Ass) [Illusion] ●●●
Missy|Vista (Grouchy Baby Sis) [Servitude] ●●●
Dennis|Clockblocker (He Can Keep Up) [Emotion|Infatuation] ●●●
Saki|Tatsu (Super Magical Robot Girl Pervert) [Emotion|Comraderie] ●●●
Bonesaw (Taylor's Pet Monster) [Emotion|Nervous] ●●●
Brian/Kinzey (Watch Out For Penny) [Emotion|Wary] ●●●
Glaistig Uaine|Ciara (Messed With The Best) [Emotion|Schadenfreude] ●●●


VIRTUES:
Compassion: ●●○○○
Conviction: ●●●○○
Temperance: ●○○○○
Valor:
●●●●○

CLARITY:
Temporary:
●○○○○ ○○○○○
Permanent: ○○○○○ ○○○○○

WILLPOWER:
Temporary:
●●●●○ ○○○○○
Permanent: ●●●●● ●●●●●

MOTE POOL:
Respiration:
Normal (4/hour active, 8/hour resting)
Personal: 0/19 [Charm Installations(19)]
Peripheral: 53/53

HEALTH:
Sleep:
Rested
Mental Integrity: Overwhelmed
Wounds: None
Ailments: None



Now that was certainly an unexpected and eventful side-trip! Probably more questions raised than answered as we saw a bit more of how things are working - or not working, as the cases may be - over in Autochthonia. Aisha also got a bit of a wake-up call (hah!) regarding the gravity of her new existence and her ultimate responsibilities, since prior to all this she hadn't really been able to grasp just how serious things were on the other side of the Cradle.

For those wondering why the last vote covered where Aisha was headed after emerging from the Cradle, rather than leaving that vote for now, there was a number of parts of this Chapter that were influenced by that vote - had we voted differently, there wouldn't have been as much emphasis from the other characters here for Aisha to go talk with Taylor first thing once she got back, for example. Also, I didn't want to ruin the surprise.

Regardless, Aisha's world(s)view has certainly been shaken up by this side-trip and how her frame of mind settles is worth discussing and deciding. Specifically, Aisha is now the only Earth-Bet Alchemical with experience in Autochthonia; does she want to take up the torch of being the driving force for change in the Realm of Brass and Shadow? This would require her to start seriously studying researching and studying up about how magic and Autochthonia politics (both mortal and spirit) work, on top of her 'normal' workload of whatever Taylor has planned for our new Moonsilver. Conversely, Aisha could decide that all this Earth-Side stuff is taking up too much of Taylor's time when Taylor should be prepping to kick ass and take names over in Autochthonia, so Aisha would start being more... proactive in clearing up Taylor's workload in order to free up her schedule. Or maybe some other option - this is a complicated and polarizing decision for Aisha, so I'll allow for a single Write-In option if we can come up with one that is distinct and not just a mash-up of these other two.

Secondly: unlike Saki, Aisha's Charms are considerably more... broad in their range of uses, and can definitely shape her general attitude (read: how she solves problems) depending on what sort of load-out she equips as her 'default'. Swapping out Charms is a matter of less than half an hour, certainly, but there's something to be said for how you view things when you've got, say, a hammer in arm's reach at all times instead of just down in the basement toolbox. Rather than have this choice deal with exactly which charms are part of her default, the options will be about the mindset her loadout engenders: Combat Focus, Infiltration Focus, Utility Focus, Trolling Focus, etc.

Thirdly: Aisha has a car. More importantly: it is a cat. This cat is fresh off the cathedral-factory floor, where a lot of Essence was thrown around to buff it up to meet the demands of what Aisha will likely be facing in her adventures. Unfortunately, this has left her new Familiar with a lot of power at its pawpads but... not much in the way of unique self-identity. Does Aisha give her feline familiar a name (influencing its development) or does she let it figure out one for itself (and hope for the best)?

Finally: we heard that Sakura was too busy to be pulled away to see Aisha. Upon what battlefield was Sakura engaged when Aisha popped in to visit Autoland?


Regarding XP Expenditures for this vote: we may only spend XP on Aisha this vote, since time has not passed for the other characters. Her options are:

WMS - Linguistics (Autochthonian Insults ●○○)
WMS - Occult ●○○○○
WMS - Connections (Jadeborn)
●●●○○


CHAPTER 10.4 - VOTING OPTIONS

The Buck Stops... Somewhere (Choose ONE, NO STUNT ALLOWED)
[ ] Aisha feels that fixing Autochthonia Society is her responsibility, starts taking steps to learn how to not screw this up.
[ ] Aisha feels that fixing Autochthonia Society is a job for Taylor, starts proactively taking care of Taylor's current Earth-based problems to lighten her workload.
[ ] Aisha feels that fixing Autochthonia Society is extremely time-sensitive, starts looking for ways to get herself back to Autochthonia as soon as possible.
[ ] Aisha feels that fixing Autochthonia Society is going to require kicking in the teeth of some extremely powerful beings, starts looking for ways to power/train herself and Prayer up.
[ ] Aisha feels that fixing Autochthonia Society is a Saki/Sakura job, starts hounding Saki so that Saki gets 'practice' fixing things on this side before they all go to Autochthonia.
[ ] Aisha feels that fixing Autochthonia Society is a job only for an Assembly filled with people she can trust, gets Taylor's 'list' of remaining candidates and starts putting them through the wringer to make sure they're up to snuff.
[ ] Write-In

Sharp As A Toolbox Full Of Hammers (Choose ONE, ONE Stunt Allowed)
[ ] Default Charm Loadout: Disco Ninja
[ ] Default Charm Loadout: Sneaky Sneaky
[ ] Default Charm Loadout: All Bases Covered
[ ] Default Charm Loadout: MAXIMUM OVERTROLL
[ ] Default Charm Loadout: No Default, Fuck You Ziz!

Robocat Wants Belly Rubs And Open Roads (Choose ONE, ONE Stunt Allowed)
[ ] Aisha Picks A Name For Her Familiar
[ ] Aisha Lets Her Familiar Decide Its Own Name Whenever It Wants

Sakura's Adventures In Autochthonia: Everything Is On Fire Edition (Choose ONE, NO STUNT Allowed)
[ ] World War Z
[ ] Clash of the Titans
[ ] Grave of the Fireflies


XP Expenditures should be formatted as such:
[X] NAME - ? XP - Item ●●●○○
[X] NAME - ? XP - Item (Specialization ●●○)


VOTING DISCUSSION BEGINS NOW
NO VOTES WILL BE COUNTED UNTIL VOTING BEGINS
USE THIS TIME TO CRAFT STUNTS

VOTING DISCUSSION ENDS:
 
Last edited:
Chapter 10.4
Chapter 10.4


[X] Aisha doesn't want to deal with everything that's wrong with Autochthonia by herself, works to get Assembly involved with fixing things there.
- [x] STUNT: Aisha focuses on proactively lightening Taylor's workload

[X] Default Charm Loadout: No Default, Fuck You Ziz!
- [x] STUNT: "Bitch can't form a plan 'round my plan if there is no plan. Score one, Aisha." Murr. "Don't you start with that 'maybe no plan was her whole plan all along,' mindgames bullshit." A lazy eyebrow rises, before his head settles on his paws, unimpressed. Murfle. "Yea, it'll be a pain to decide every day, but fuck that bitch."

[X] Aisha Lets Her Familiar Decide Its Own Name Whenever It Wants
- [x] STUNT: The fighting intensified as Aisha and her companion swarmed the panicked gang. "So what about *punch* Chairman Miaow." Murr. "Genghis Cat?" Murrrr. "iCat." Muuuuuur. *kick, thud* "Scratch Fury. Notorious C.A.T. Catastrophe." Hearing no reply, she turned, and ducked under the gang member flung at her head. Hisss. They locked eyes, amused human and annoyed feline. "Touchy." Huurrrrggghh. "Fiiiiiine."

[X] Clash of the Titans

[X] WMS - 4 XP - Occult ●○○○○
[X] WMS - 9 XP - Connections (Jadeborn) ●●●○○


***


"Mmmmrrufff."

A sound like a twelve-cylinder car revving rumbles through your ride, which you've taken to hunkering down and laying low atop. He's been bouncing gracefully between tree-trunks for the last few minutes, avoiding the thick underbrush after you made some complaints about having to swat away non-stop bush-to-the-face.

...

So many jokes. Kinda sucks that you're too bummed right now to really dig into 'em, but… eh, Saki'll help you with the ideas when you meet up.

You sniff and absently move to wipe away at your face, but your Mask and super goggles are covering up the snot and tears. Or, at least, the Mask feels like it is? Eh, you'll take it off later, when you find a bathroom and can see what the damage is.

"What'dya mean, the forest is different?" you scowl, glancing around as RoboCat's car-speed leaping has started to slow down a bit. Blinking, you lift up the goggles and- yup, still dark as shit out in a thick forest. Your eyesight's waaaay better now, you can tell, but… it's still pitch black. "I don't... see anything?"

You were tempted to ask him at the start if he wanted your goggles, but then you realized: cat.

"Rrrmmhhhfff."

His disgusted exhale is punctuated by him slowing from highway speeds to a complete stop within four tree-trunk leaps, leaving the two of you stuck almost-sideways to a car-thick tree. Neither of you fall over or go flying, of course; you're not sure how the math works out, but you've come to the realization that both of you somehow have All The Dexterity.

Still, it helps that you've used your Charms to drop your weight from, like, a few hundred pounds to a few dozen, and that you've made him your new center of gravity so you're always falling 'down' onto his back no matter which way he's spinning. Because hell yeah you're gonna use your new powers for everything.

Mirroring his alert posture, you sit up (sideways?) a bit. "The air? Wha-"

Oh shit oh shit-

You shove a double-fistful of Essence into your Industrial Survival Frame Charm to turn on all the things. You don't even bother with pushing the Essence through your hide-it Charm, 'cause if the fuckin' Simurgh is trying shit you might as well go LOUD.

RoboCat's body tenses underneath you and there's a sound of wood cracking and splintering as his nails dig in even more, but that's not really what you're paying attention to as the world around you starts to ripple- like a giant rock got dropped where you're sitting, making reality wibble and wobble out in waves. There's occasional white or silver flashes of light from some ripples, as if a bending branch or blade of grass was catching the moonlight…

… huh.

No giant smoke clouds. No giant metal spiders. You saw a few pics of Saki's from her testing, and even she had a big 'ol black comma and crazy rave lightshow when she went loud. Prayer… has some sorta Stranger effect on hers, so you're not even sure if you've seen it before. So what-

Having rotated your head to look up and behind you...

"... huh," you blink, then look back at RoboCat. He's turned his head and is staring at what you just saw, but his reflective eyes turn to meet yours with… a hint of approval.

"Psh, yeah, yeah. That's probably not you, you know?"

Not that either of you could see the whole thing, just the odd flicker of some massive feline predator looking out between the ripples of reality caused by your 'lightshow.'

Fuckin' awesome, is what it is. Gonna have to figure out a way to make some gangers shit themselves using just that. Still, as much as a boost to your mood it is now that you know even your lightshow is better than everyone else's…

"So…" you sigh, looking again at the Pussywagon. "You weren't feelin' Ziz tryin' to fuck things up?"

Any trace of respect washes off his face, like water off a… you get the idea.

"Mrrumm."

You flip him off, then cross your arms over your chest. "Man, you said the air felt 'wrong!' Last time I heard something like that I got dumped onto a different Earth and cut in half! And for me that was only, like..."



"Wait. Shit. Why wasn't Taylor and everyone waiting there for me when we got out? And why is it night?!"

Unimpressed cat continues to be unimpressed.

"Don't you fuckin' start with me, Josie! You're the one that carted me off-"

"Mrf."

"I know I
wanted to get away, but that didn't mean it was an order to-..." you wave off, "I mean… ugh."

He blinks, slowly, then somehow sits down. Sideways, because you're both still horizontal on the tree. Bullshit, man.

You groan, feeling your heart start to slow down from that burst you just gave it. "Whatever. Okay. Let's just... think this through. Doom Ball was still at the Cradle so not everything's-..."

You trail off as you notice a slight hitch in his slow rumble. Quirking an eyebrow, Robopussy doesn't meet your eyes as you stare at him.

"I felt that shiver, mister."

You hear his tail flop around on the tree trunk and he turns away to look out into the darkness, ears twitching.

"... nnnfff."

"HAH! Admit it! You
were scared of him!"

His threatening rumble doesn't make you stop laughing. If anything, it makes your smile grow even more.

"Don't wanna play with the ball, Mr. Tabby? What if I cover him in string for you? Ah heh heh heh-"


The world

stops.


Motionless.


You stare, because your eyes are stuck wide open.


Silence.




Until

finally

the world vibrates.


RETURN TO ENDURING ORDER ADMINISTRATOR
IMMEDIATELY




Seconds,

minutes,

hours,

days later, the world suddenly speeds back up to normal-

"-heaauughhh," you cough, reaching out to grip your Familiar's smooth, metallic back as he springs back up into a battle-ready stance, his own head turning back-and-forth enough so you can see his panicked expression that matches his flattened ears and raised hackles.

"Nnnnnnrrrrrhhhh."

You gulp, take one more glance around at the otherwise-empty forest, and nod.

"... right. Let's… uh... Do that."


***


It's dark. You can't see the stars. Or the moon.

Sure as shit ain't gonna turn around and ask Doom Ball for directions. Or that pack of super-wolves the two of you scared shitless as you zoomed over them at highway speeds.

Since you haven't hit the water yet, though… you're probably headed away from the coast? You remember some weird trivia thing that said moss grows on the north side of trees, but so far you've seen it growing everywhere so that's a bunch of bullshit.

So 'cause you don't wanna talk out loud, you've been thinking really hard at your pet mecha-tiger. Things you've learned over the last few minutes as a result:

Vrrrmm.

He thinks in engine noises. You manage not to laugh, but only barely.

Vrrruuum vvvvvurm. Vuurm.

The essence in this forest feels weird to him; it's not like the harmonic patterns of Roboland, but some kind of flat, dormant pattern that's… sleeping? Not dead, he says, but just not active.

You have no idea what any of that means, so you just think shrugs at him.

Vrumrumumum vroooom.

He got a memory download of a bunch of bits from your own memories about Earth, but only the stuff about cats and cars because you screwed up the time schedule and his Jadeborn construction crew had to rush his empowerment. This is completely fine with him, because he expects you to do everything else for him.

Vurmrumrummmm.

Since he doesn't have a Sanctum-

Vrmmm.

-which is a pocket-dimension just for him that he can recharge and heal in (so, like Saki's power), he's got the ability to drain you of Essence directly if he needs more than what your Familiar link gives him back every hour.

You think he should clarify that-

Vrumrumvroom.

-and he does, by explaining that he can basically go robot-cat-vampire on you.

You think that's bullshit. The bad kind. You are not robo-catnip.

Vroom.

He demands to try catnip before he can confirm or deny your statement. You will provide him with this as soon as possible. Also, milk of various animals. And different types of fish.

You regret watching all those old cartoons when you were younger, and feel that the dwarves and elves are trolling you from the grave.

...Vrm.

He, too, is saddened by the loss of his construction crew. The human crew that finished the final rituals and installed his Alchemical Charms were not nearly as doting.

You blink, and think he should clarify that last part.

Vroooooom.

He clarifies.

Which brings you to now.

The two of you, hidden under your Para-Charm, standing on the side of the highway. Since this is still Rhode Island, "highway" means "slightly-wider two-lane road," and there aren't any street lights.

If you look left (East, you guess?), you think you can almost see the glow of the PRT cordon where the highway just ends in suddenly, ancient forest. Both behind and in front of you are empty rustic houses, because everyone got evacuated when packs of super-wolves started roaming out of the forest - wolves that hadn't got the memo that humans aren't on the food chain any more.

Huh. You wonder if Rachel is still roaming around here - judging by that pack you scared she's clearly not done rounding them all up, but you have no idea how much time has passed since you… left.

"You realize there's no way we're gonna see any civvie cars out here, right?"

The giant silver tiger-panther-thing looks decidedly grumpy as he flicks his ears and scans the road. "Grrrmmff."

"What's the big deal?"
you frown, absently straightening your new hairstyle; you really wanted to rock the 80's fro, but that's not Jane Bond. And it's sorta Prayer's look, so you're gonna try out having straightened hair for the first time in your life - purple streak coming up from above your right eyebrow as usual, of course. Still, feels weird. "Just… you know. Transform and roll out."

Your Super-Goggles let you see him turn and glare at you, even though you get the impression that glint in his eyes would shine through the darkness anyway.

"Mrf."

You blink.

"You don't-... oh. Yeah, I guess I… haven't really been in many cars."

You wince.

"Please don't tell me you're gonna turn into my mom's piece of shit clunker just because it was a fuckin' Jaguar."

His silent, shamed tail-flick is damning. Damnit.

"... dude, my mom only had that car 'cause she got it free, and it still wasn't worth it. I learned how to hotwire cars because that was the only way to start it up!"

He shrinks down a bit, and now you feel bad for kicking the cat.

"... you can't turn into a PRT van, right? Because that's too big for the Charm?"

"...mrm."

"And you can't turn into a
bike, because that's too small for the Charm."

"...mrm."


You sigh.

...

"Wait a minute," you mumble, frowning, as you mentally review the tablet with your Charm instructions you have in your pocket dimension. "Okay, so… do you also have that submod that lets you, like, disguise yourself as a different version of yourself? Permanently?"

His usual contempt-filled stare burrows into you. "Mmmmrfm."

You snort, and gesture to the empty, pitch-black roadway. "Yeah I know that's what you wanted to do, but there is zero percent chance we're gonna see a better Jaguar than my mom's here, now. Just… how much of my memories did you get?"

"...mmmrmmrm?"

"Ugh. Right, sorry, too vague. Did you get any of the Jane Bond movies?"


An empty, flat stare is his response.

You stare back for a while, then nod. "Dumb question. Okay, 'Never Die Twice'? That's the only movie where you see the whole interior, 'cause the sex scene and all. Think you can do it?"

He keeps staring.

"Yeah I rewound that part a few times extra. So what?" you shrug. "Shit was hot."

Stare.

"... whatever. Uh… how 'bout the Jag from the latest one, 'Broken Star'? There's a whole bit with Q explaining why they had to make it a hatchback to fit the rocket engines and you see the inside there, too."


His stare slowly warms, his mouth moving around as he considers it. Finally, he nods and straightens up from the grass so that his shoulders are at the same level as yours again.

"... don't do the hatchback part, though," you clarify, because fuck that. "Hatchbacks are dumb. Remember how they totally made that clear in the movie?"

He rolls his eyes, shrugs, then starts to shift.

It starts at the top - from his spine - falling down like a waterfall of spindly little bumps as the liquid-metal of his kinda-skin and exposed kinda-muscles becomes actual skin and actual hair. Your Super-Goggles let you see the shift as if it were mid-day and the skies are clear, so you're able to scope out his glistening black fur that shimmers with other colors as he begins to breathe for the first time.

He swivels his head and gives your shocked expression a smug grin.

You can't help but laugh, and even throw in a few solid snaps of appreciation.

"Daaaaaaamn, dude! You're a Black Panther! That's fuckin' sick!"

"Hmmmurrr,"
he rumbles, a sound that makes the hairs on the back of your neck raise even though you know he's just playin'.

Still, you can't help but pause at that.

"What'd'ya mean? What's a 'Laser Panther'?"

You've seen cartoon cats smile, and it was funny. You've seen plenty of pics on the Internet of 'smiling' housecats, and it's cute.

When a jungle predator with a head as wide as your shoulders gives you a full, open-mouthed smile and shows off crystalline teeth longer than your fingers, it is neither of those things.

And then with a chorus of familiar, crackling pschhhrvrrmmmms, each crystal tooth becomes a fuckin' silver lightsaber tooth.

Lightsaber teeth!

At the sudden smell of burning grass, your wide eyes glance down.

… Lightsaber claws!

You look back up and meet his silver, actually-glowing eyes...

...

... but for some reason, the smug, half-lidded stare totally squashes whatever fear you had.

Turning your Mask to Taylor's 'I have kicked Endbringers, you don't measure up' expression, you hum to yourself and re-adjust your tie.

"Does this mean you're stronger than Taylor's Doom Ball?"

The massive, burning jaw snaps shut, sounding like a whole bunch of lightsabers grinding against eachother. His eyes, however, start to trail a little smoke... but his flattened ears give away his awkwardness.

"...rrrrrrrrr."

You're pretty sure he's tempted to smush your face again, this time with a claw-filled paw.

You pat him on the head-

Hisss-snap!

-and keep all your fingers. Nails are a little burnt, though.

You grin, but don't let it show.

"Then let's not piss him off again and get movin', alright?"

He glowers at you for a good, solid minute, even though you turn around and face the road some time around the thirty second mark and start playing with your Super Monocle to check out the empty houses around you. Most are stripped pretty bare, 'cept for furniture…

Finally, he sighs a long cat-breath in your face and plods over to the road.

This time, you let the grin show.

Yup. Still got it.


***


The change is rapid - faster than you'd think it'd take, but not blink-and-you'll-miss-it quick. One second the grumpy, horse-sized mecha-cat starts yawning, leaning backwards while pushing his paws forward on the dark asphalt as if he's gonna do that typical cat stretch… and then his whole body just sorta slow-motion-explodes from the inside-out in a bunch of liquid silver and stringy metal-muscles and gizmos and whatever.

And now your jag jag is a jag Jag. You wonder if Taylor has realized that Godbot seems to love puns as much as you do.

"... wait," you frown, pointing at where you lost track of his limbs as they became parts, "did your paws or elbows turn into the wheels?"

Yeah, gonna have to watch some slow-mo vids of that a few times to figure out what went where. For now though... who cares? New car!

It's not as shiny as a bunch of the moonsilver stuff you saw back in Roboland, with its silver paint job almost the same color as your skin, buuuuut… you guess an all-chrome car wouldn't really be good for spy shit, even if it'd be hilarious to basically drive a disco ball around and blind people with reflections. Besides that one difference, it otherwise looks exactly the same as the Jag from 'Broken Star' - a sleeker, bigger Jaguar E-Type that they started selling to the public the next year as the O-Type. Public versions didn't come with the cool stuff, like ejection seats and rocket engines and the ability to go into space, which was a bummer.

… wait, you don't need to breathe anymore, right? That means you probably can go to space in this! Gonna have to talk with Taylor about building a big ramp for you like in the movie so you can try it.

You don't bother hiding your grin as you skip a few loops around your slick-ass new ride, leaning in to check out all the little details like trim and contours and other sports-car stuff you don't know the names for but look awesome.

"Ya'know," you snort, poking the front-left 'Goodyear' tire with a finger, "I was totally expecting you to have, like, Robo-land names for everything 'stead've Earth names. What gives with the normal shit?"

The low, idle purr of the beefy engine revvs juuust a tiny bit.

Vvvvvuuurrr.

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, no. Pretty sure they'd be too busy lookin' at the brand-fuckin'-new '95 O-Type to notice any funny names on the tires."

… vvrrrrrr.

"...Eh,
I think it would'a been funny."

Straightening up, you shrug and finally walk up to the left-side door and open it, because this O-Type has its steering wheel on the right side.

Not right right, left right… ugh, whatever.

You pop the handle and swing the heavier-than-expected door wide, then slide into the plush leather seat with barely a whisper as the door slides closed behind you on its own with a whispered click.

Plush, supple, and (most importantly) heated leather seats? Check. Mmm.

Pristine, luxurious, brand-new interior? With no signs of cigarette ash, food wrappers, dirt, cracked-and-or-worn upholstery, or crusty bodily fluids? Check.

Functional dials and gauges, even if you don't know what all of them do? Check… probably? The stuff in the dash all lights up and stuff, but you're not getting any mental hints from him telling you which is actually the ejector-seat button on the console so... yeah, not gonna touch anything until you figure that out.

Animated 'leaping jaguar' logo on the center of the steering wheel that is giving you a judging side-eye? Check.

Vrrrm.

"Yeah, yeah. We're goin', we're goin,"
you huff, then flip off the tiny silver representation of his cat form as your eyes still wander around the world-famous interior. "Sue me for takin' a minute to check out how awesome all this shit looks. 'S… really like it's straight outta the movies. 'Cept… better, you know? 'Cause it's real…" you breathe out, not bothering to stop the grin that's stretching your face, "... and mine."

Rruurrrrrrr.


The oversize engine revs hard and low enough that you feel the tremors through the sound dampening. The rumble even bleeds through the pedals, steering wheel, and cushioned seat.

You blink, eyes drifting back to meet the narrowed gaze staring up at you from the steering wheel's center.

"... Dude, no. I'm not saying I, like, own you or some shit, but… didn't the dwarves make you for me?"

Rrrruuuurm.


A less threatening rev - more grump than anger, so you wave your hand absently at his gettin' all pissy.

"I mean I get what you're saying, but… I haven't really had much that was mine, you know? Was hoping to save up my Wards paychecks for a car or bike, now that I've got money rolling in… or I guess I could just have Taylor build me a motorcycle or car for me later…" you sigh, drumming your fingers on the wheel.

… rrrrrrrrrr.

You blink at the feeling that the threatening rumble inspires: a creeping dread that any other ride you might try to claim for yourself from now on will quickly come down with a terminal case of 'sat on by giant robot cat.'

You reach up through your Super Goggles and massage your eyes.

"... let's just… get going, alright? You at least gonna let me drive?"

Vvvvvvvrrrrrruum.


The scathing disbelief in that rev makes you squint and poke the sassy cat in the steering wheel logo. The tiny, animated leaping jaguar bats your finger away dismissively.

"Hey, I totally know how to drive now," you huff, tapping your right temple as you also idly twitch your left foot on the clutch. "Prolly 'cause of the new skillz Godbot shoved in my head, but I definitely didn't know how to work a stick-shift before the upgrade."

… mmmmrrrrrvvm.


You eagerly wiggle in the seat, grinning as the side-view and rear-view mirrors shift into place with slow, grudging acceptance.

Letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding, you flip the mental switch on your… power-Charm? Yeah, that feels right… and feel it flow out like an invisible wave to hide the two of you from any observers. Huh, that... feels different than before? Either it felt like you were tryin' ta hold in a mental piss while you were suppressin' it, or you just felt nothing when it was active. Wonder if you'll notice when it starts messin' with people? That'd be pretty cool - it'd sorta be like how Missy can tell when people are in an area 'cause she can't use her power there.

Eh, the PRT'll probably have a whole bunch'a tests 'ta figure out what's different later. For now, you don't need to worry about freaking people out on the road if they can't notice you, right? Right.

Vrmm...

"Yeah, yeah,"
you grin, though the little cat on the steering wheel is starting to look worried. "We'll be fine!"

Then, making sure your grip on the steering wheel is strong, you tap the clutch, shift into first, then slam down on the gas pedal-

VROOOOOOOOOOM!

The world narrows as you're thrown back into your seat, barely keeping your hands on the steering wheel as car leaps forward hard enough to shove the air from your lungs.

Even though no one'll hear it, you let your Background Charm roll out a echoing laugh behind you as you tear off into the night.


***


Thick forest and scattered large-acre homes blaze past, barely more than dark blurs in your peripheral vision without any overhead light poles or active headlights. You can see just fine with your Super Goggles on, and since your car is also a cat you're pretty sure he's not having any problems either.

It takes almost fifteen minutes to finally see another car - some truck driving the other way - which is weird given that you're travelling on the US1 highway… also because you're doing your best to keep to triple-digit speeds. Traffic picks up within a minute after that, but there's enough space on the four-lane road for you to slide between the slowpokes for a while…

… until a dude in a black Porsche tries to pass the guy in front of him at the same time you're screaming by at over 90 MPH.

The wheel, brake, and gas pedals all lurch out of your control a split-second before you're about to tear the Porsche in half. Time slows to a crawl as blood (or whatever's in your veins) thunders in your ears loud enough to almost drown out the sound of tires squealing at the same time that you're violently heaved from your seat as the car leaps-

SCREIIIEEETCH-GRHUUUURGRGH!

- up onto the curb of the grassy median, past the oblivious Porsche with an impossible powerslide-

GRRUNCHTCH-SCREEEEUUUURTCH-THUNK!

- and back down onto the road, without a single drop of speed lost as you continue cruising at twice the local speed limit. A move that should have sent you pinwheeling off into oncoming traffic and the houses on the far side of the road.

Crisis averted, your ride prowls down the road as if all that was no big deal.

...

Arms splayed out against the roof and passenger seat, you let a quiet moment pass before carefully settling back into your seat…

… and fasten your seatbelt.

Clearing your throat to get rid of whatever was stuck in it, you slowly set your hands on the steering wheel again and place your feet on the pedals. Not with enough force to take back control… just enough to get a feel for them again.

"Uhm… thanks?"

Somehow, the engine's growl grows louder for a split-second without the car speeding up in turn.

Vvvvmmm rrrmmmm.

You snort and roll your eyes.

"Showoff."

Rrrrm rrrrvm mmrm.

"You did
not know that'd happen!"

Vrm.

"Err… not since I triggered, no. I mean, there was Suzy but… I was flying with her, and there weren't really cars on the road either."

Rrrrrm vrrrmmvvv.

"I thought I could handle it! I've got ALL the reflexes now!"


The animated jaguar in the steering wheel's center gives you a flat look.

Grrrrouuoowllg.

You frown, then notice that the little logo is also staring at you in confusion…

Oh. That wasn't in your head - you heard that.

"Huh…" you muse, poking your toned, complaining belly. "... I haven't eaten since I got upgraded, huh?" Looking back up, your eyes dart to the steering console and note the mostly-full meter furthest on the left - which hasn't really budged since you started driving, now that you think about it.

"Your 'Fuel' meter's your… whatchacallit? 'Essence', right? How much you've still got to use on Charms and stuff? Will you be good for a while?"

Ping!


Blinking, you notice a typical 'Check Engine' warning light just popped up on the dash-…

Wait, it doesn't say 'Check'...

'Feed Engine'," you snort. "Ha ha, very funny. What'dya want me to do, pour a bottle of milk in your oil tank?"

….Rrrrr?


You lean back, crossing your arms over your chest. "If there is a gas station with milk pumps, I don't wanna go anywhere near it."

Vuuuurrrrrurm.


A sad-sounding engine rev. This is your life now, you guess.

"Aaanyway," you sigh, "unless you can hack up a hairball of bills, it's not like it even matters - we're kinda broke until we get back to Philly."

… rrrvvvrm vvrm.


Wincing the harsh growl or the engine, you rub where your goggles rest on the bridge of your nose. "No not-... not broken. Broke like... poor. No money."

Vuurm. Mmmmrrummm rrrrrmuvvvmm.

"Yeah, sure,"
you huff, staring at the sassy little Jaguar logo in the steering wheel as it tilts back in forth - the car barely shifting as you slip around and through traffic. "Then what'm I supposed 'ta say when Taylor asks me where I got the money for the food?"

The logo stares back at you for a while, long enough for the two of you blaze through the eight stop lights of another small New England town and pass back into the darkness of night-time highway driving.

…vvvvrm.

You laugh. "Yeah right, Tay's prolly already hacked-"

...

… ah, shit.

"Let's… uhhh….
slow down when we get near cities, 'kay? And anywhere that might have traffic cams-..."

You blink, think about it a few more seconds, then cover your face with your hands.

"Fuck, she'd still be able to tell how fast we're goin' between cities jus' by timing us. Bot damnit."

He's silent for a moment, then the already-quiet engine dims as you feel the car start to bleed off speed. Then, just to be on the safe side, his headlights turn on.

"Ugh," you sigh, leaning back in the driver's seat to get settled in for the longer trip.

"She's not even here and she's not letting me have any fun."


***


The first thing you notice, now that you're a passenger and don't really need to pay attention to the road anymore, is that your new ride is too quiet when it's not deliberately making engine noises at you; the sounds of the world outside barely registering as the two of you slowly make your way down the same path your Wards caravan took barely over two months ago.

Scowling, you experimentally lean forward and… okay, so, that's the air conditioning at the top, and all those extra switches and buttons at the bottom are for cool shit, so the middle section with the screen and turning knobs must be the radio… right? That's about where the hole was in your Mom's Jag, so… yeah. Radio.

Relaxing your body - just in case you need to flip out of your seat if it suddenly tries to throw you out through the roof - you push the big, left-most turn-knob-thing on the 'Radio'. That's usually how you turn on radios, right?

...

Nothing happens, but you also didn't hear any clicking sounds. You try twisting it. Still nothing. Maybe it's the other knob? No, pushing or twisting that one does nothing, too. Okay, there's a few little buttons in a row at the base of the screen… nope, pushing those does nothing.

"Hey, so… how'dya turn on the radio?"

Silence.

Did he… fall asleep while driving, somehow? You sit up and start to poke the Jaguar logo in the steering wheel, but it bats the finger away like before. Only this time, it seems to be… avoiding your gaze?

… vvvvvrm.

You blink a few times at the embarrassed-sounding rev, then point back at the console.

"Whatd'ya mean 'you don't have one'? It's these buttons and screen right here in the middle!"

… vvvvvvvuurr.


You just sorta... stare at him for a few seconds.

"Yer shittin' me."

The Jaguar icon shifts uncomfortably.

"How… how do they not know how'ta build radios? We've had 'em here on Earth for, like, a hundred years! They were buildin' 'em in my new school's science class the week before I transferred in!"

You sigh as he makes a shrugging motion, then point back at the 'radio' on the console.

"Well, does it at least play music or something?"

… vrruum.


… those useless motherfuckers. How're you supposed to ride with style if you don't have a soundtrack to go with it?!

You lean back in the seat and shift your goggles so you can rub your eyes again.

"... the hell'm I supposed to do 'till we get to New York, then? Yer not lettin' me drive or listen't anything."

The car doesn't respond for a while as you mumble about backward-ass super-tech-magic, but you don't have it in you to really bad-mouth the team that got wiped out for trying to hook you up with as much cool shit as possible.

… rrrvmm mmurrv rrrrumm?

You blink, bad mood flying from your head at the question, then lean back up in shock at the little Jaguar icon.

"Wait, you have my other Charms? I thought they got left behind when that fucker-..." you wince. "You know, when everything went to shit."

Your new eyesight's good enough to pick up the 'are you an idiot' raised eyebrow he's giving you now, even though you're still leaning back in your reclined seat.

VVvvvVVvvm?

"Eh, I figured the new guys were just shovin' me out the door as quick as they could,"
you shrug, then frown as you consider what he first suggested. "So, what? How do I swap around my Charms? Are they in the trunk with the space rockets?"

...mmmuurrr vrmm.

"Oh
COME ON!"


***


It takes you a few minutes to finally break down all the cool shit from the movie that he doesn't have, but he makes the point that he wasn't designed with a specific version of the Jane Bond Jaguar in mind. You were the one that told him to morph into the Broken Star model, after all.

Still, you do get a kick out of how the 'vat' function they built into him for swapping your Charms around causes a tube to come out of the sides of the chair - just like the ejector-torpedo function from the submarine car Bond had in Atlantis Rising. But then the tube fills with some oil-smelling liquid and...

… the world...

… just…

… falls...

...away.





In the darkness, a heart with... eight beats. The heart and soul of a predator, smothering in its power and confidence - a liquid warmth that flows in, around, and through you.

...

...Gaaaaaay.

...

In this dream-like, bodiless state, you get the feeling of a massive furry beast suddenly smooshing your 'face' with a paw.

You try to recoil and slap away the feeling, but without hands you are helpless. Any sounds or thoughts you try to make are quickly rendered into sputtering nonsense under the smothering weight of your familiar's smug enjoyment of being able to keep you under his paw for a while.


***


Some time later, the pressure lessens enough for you to manage a coherent thought again. You feel warm and fuzzy, like you've managed a good night's sleep after a full meal, but also - strangely - like you've got cat hairs stuck in your eyes, nose, and mouth.

Hmmmmuurrf?

… well, there's only one response to that.

Mentally, you give him both middle fingers.

You're getting spoiled milk for the next month you fatass tinfoil tabby-!

The paw comes back down.

You regret nothing.


***


LIGHTNING ROUND VOTE: A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE ASSEMBLY
[X] Bank Thieves
[X] Parahumans Involved


***


Time gets a bit weird for a while, 'cause you can't really tell what's goin' on outside of the void that the damn cat's been keeping you. Still, the… third?... time he stops squashin' your face-brain he finally gets around to what he suggested you do in the first place: showin' you your extra Charms that you have but don't all fit at once.

You get smooshed again for making more jokes about that.

Despite how fuckin' annoying that is, once he actually pulls back and lets you get a feel for the extra Charms… you're still sorta floatin' in a black void, but now you've got a bunch of these blobs of you-shaped glowy stuff floatin' around with you too - the way the colors of their glow move around makes you think they're some kinda clear oil, since you can see the weird tech-implants each has in 'em.

Pretty easy to tell which ones you've got plugged in now, since those're the ones really glowin' and floating up around your 'eye'-level, while the rest are sorta back-lit but floating lower. Doin' a sorta mental frown-scowl at each one lets you remember all the stuff they had you go over with your Charms before, but it's cool bein' able to see what your stuff looks like on the outside; they're mostly just weird muscle- and skeleton-shaped blobs of silver with extra tech bits cleanly grafted in with other metals, though the brain ones have a lot more wires and weird shit goin' on.

Swappin' one out only takes a bit more focus - like you're tryin' to push it down with your brain, which cuts out the glow, causes it to sink down with the others, and also makes you feel… lighter? It's weird the first time it happens, but you figure it out by tryin' different combos; each one you activate sorta… weighs you down, until you feel too heavy and can't lift anymore up with the others.

You guess all this does fit into your weird... liquid-metal-oil, organic-machine... theme? Taylor's totally got that creepy-scary-hot black-metal shit goin' on with all her Charms, and Prayer's stuff looks all crystal-y with weird windchime-soundin' effects all over, but now that you think about it, you… didn't really get to see much of Saki's new style?

Still, the more you think about it... you guess that means that you probably can't just have everyone jump in and out of your 'vat' tube so you can all swap parts out with each other? Kinda a bummer, since it woulda' been cool to try out Taylor's bug-control power-Charm for a while to see what that's like.

You get smooshed again for that train of thought, for some reason. Prolly 'cause he's a tubby piece of shi-



When you come back to consciousness again, though, it's to actual real life not the glowing-blob-filled void. It takes you a second to get your bearings - the tube opening up and your seat automatically straightening up as you blink away the little globs of oil trapped in your eyelashes and snort loose the blobs in your nose hairs.

Why does your robo-self have nose hairs? Ugh. You blame the dwarves.

"Whuuu-..." you groan, grumpy because you're just now realizing that the vat-tube feels waaaay comfier than real life. It's still dark out, but you can tell there's a bunch of lights around you now. "Whuzz up?"

Mvvvvuurrr vrm.


Your eyes snap fully open. "We're here? What-" you cough, "the hell, man?! I thought we were gonna stop in New York not go straight to Philly!"

Except with the fog lifting from your senses as you actually start paying real attention to where you are, you notice you're at a… gas station? It's a Shell station, you're pulled up at a pump in the middle row, and… there's a big-ass tanker truck a few dozen yards away that looks like it just pulled up too.

"... you little shit."

Ping!


You glance at the LOW FUEL warning light popping up, but note that his actual fuel gauge is just about under half. The big baby. Still...

"You were doin' fine on gas before-"

Vvvrrmrmmvvv.

"Ah,"
you wince. "Damn. Vat shit takes that much outta ya?"

The little Jaguar icon gives you a flat look.

… mmmmmrrmrmvmrm.

"... oh c'mon I didn't swap
everything-"

VVVrrruur.

"- I was practicing-!"

VVRRR VUURR?!


You cough again and look away. Whatever. Not like you had anything else better to do in there beyond playing musical Charms. At least he waited until you had a full loadout again to kick you out.

"... soooo… uh… where are we?"

The little icon just gives you a flat side-eye. Why-... oh.

"You can't read English, can you?"

Vr.


Sighing, you shake your head and start looking out the windows to see if you can get a hint of how close you are to-...

You stare at the rear-view mirror at what just pulled up to the pump behind you. Huh.

"...Ooookay," you drawl out, eyebrows rising at how easy that was. Still, might as well check things out further. "Be right back. Don't move."

He makes a half-hearted rev while still obviously staring at the tanker truck, but you ignore that and instead focus on not being buck-ass naked anymore - sure, your power-Charm doesn't make it a problem (and being a Barbie-smooth robo-girl also makes it a non-problem, too), but you've got awesome magic-clothes now that can turn into anything so might as well use 'em for everything! Beyond that… you can also look like anyone with your Husk-Sculpting Apparatus charm, so who do you wanna look like?



Eh. You've been having fun with your Mask giving you her face, so might as well go all the way.

After about a minute of making tweaks and checking yourself in the rear-view mirror, you step outta your Jag lookin' like Taylor in her Wards uniform. The angry gold glow in her veins was tricky, and you're… pretty sure you got her head-legs right, but since the legs're just hollow fakes you're gonna have to control them manually if you want them to twitch like hers constantly do.

Eh. Too much effort - you just set them to fold back a bit and leave 'em there.

You're tempted to cut off your power-Charm just to see what people's reactions would be, but that wouldn't let you do this:

Smirking, you do Taylor's 'ain't got time for your shit' power-walk over to the New York taxi that's filling up behind you, and snatch the phone out of the old, tired driver's hand. As usual, he sorta just… stares blankly for a second or two, then frowns slightly and puts his hands in his pockets as he waits for the gas pump to finish.

Looking at the phone yourself, you see he was using it to read some website about… dalmatian breeders in the New York area? Whatever. You close the browser and… yup, GPS app already open in the background. Fiddling with the screen to focus on where you are now, it looks like you're… Allerton Avenue and US1? Okay, that's…

You snort to yourself and grin, glancing back at your ride.

"Hey fuzzbot! The Zoo's a few blocks away! Wanna go see some real-...?"



He's back in cat form, and has frozen in place - his whole body low to the ground, tail mid-twitch, and some of his hair awkwardly raised in surprise that you've caught him sneaking up on the unsuspecting tanker truck. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he slooowly turns his head just enough for him to see you glaring.

You shove the phone in the old driver's suddenly-fumbling hands, while with your off-hand you activate your Paramagnetic Tether Beam to pull the window-washing tool out of its grimy, dirty-soap-filled bucket several feet away.

The glowing silver light in his widened eyes dimming, his ears flatten backwards on his head as he lowers himself even closer to the ground.

"... muuuurr?"

Snagging the washer out of the air without getting a drop of it's disgusting water on you, you brandish it like the weapon of terror it is.

"Naughty kitties get a bath," you growl, cranking up Taylor's glowing veins effect for extra oomph as you slowly march back to him. By the time you're within striking distance, he's basically as flat on the ground as he can get with his hair standing completely on end. "Were you being a naughty-?"

BZ-ORCH


A lightning-fast strike from a lightsaber-tail shears off the top of your sponge-squeegee.

With a sad clatter-splat, the top lands at your feet and gets dirty water all over your shoes and pants.



Turning your eyes from the floor to him, you purse your lips at the shit-eating grin on the big cat's face, then raise your gaze past him and stare.

After a few seconds, you notice him follow your gaze…

...to the nearby fire hydrant.

His grin disappears, while yours only grows.

"Ooooh yeah, it's bath time motherfu-!"

In the corner of your eye, a flash of blue light lances out from down the darkened road to the west and connects with the tanker-

KRAC-BOOOOOOM!

The world slows to a crawl as the Accelerated Response System in your legs instinctively kicks in, slowing the incoming world-consuming fireball just enough for you to drop to the pavement to avoid the worst of the pressure wave… only for the worst of the shockwave to be absorbed by the massive metal cat already curling protectively around you. The fireball that washes over the two of you sucks out the air and making your ears pop while the heat sears the back of your hands and the top of your head.

As the world achingly begins to speed back up with your Charm wearing off, you idly remember mocking Taylor that her bullshit magic came at the cost of being a magnet for shit like this.

Fuck. You were only joking...

The updraft's still pulling up and away when you stand up and glance around at the wreckage from the tanker's explosion: there's burning fuel everywhere, the taxi driver and some other dude on the far side have been tossed down and away, and the overhang above you is slagged and crumpled enough that it's starting to fall.

The warm flow of Essence surges through you and into your Charms as you pull out all the stops, making you lighter, faster, better-

Step.
Grab smoldering old taxi dude.
Step. Drop smoldering old taxi dude on far side of station, just around the attached convenience store's corner wall-

The middle-aged guy from the other car is dropped - with a bit less care - next to the old taxi driver, mechacat having grabbed him by the collar with his teeth and dragged him over as well. Almost like he can read your-

Oh, right. Nice.

Then you look back to both of the squishy humans and… uh. Right. Check… breathing? Pulse-?

KRAC-BOOOM!

You spin around, just glimpsing another blue beam from the west as it passes by the gas station and slams into a storefront further down the street, setting the entire thing - brick, stone, and all - ablaze in a massive fireball.

Grimacing, you turn back and slap one hand on each of the dudes' chests and just mentally yell at your magic healing bullshit to make sure they don't die if you leave them here.

The 'skin' of your hands and forearms practically falls off as it turns to liquid and splashes down onto - into - the two KO'd dudes, soaking through their clothes like it's not even there. At the same time you feel mechacat take up a shielding position behind you, accompanied by the hiss-crackle of his lightsaber bits coming out to play and an instinctually-unnerving growl rolling through his chest loud enough to cause the glass shards around you to vibrate.

Ghhhrrruuuuuuwwwwuuurrrr.

"Fuck, just-" you feel a twinge in your left arm and the skin starts flowing back up into your emaciated Taylor-costume sleeve. "Just gimmie a sec!"

KRAC-BOOOOOM!

Even farther away this time, but you think you can hear the sounds of more fighting down the road where the blasts are comin' from.

KRAC-BOOOOOM!

Gunfire sounds out after the latest shot, along with some yelling that seems to now be getting closer.

"C'mooon c'mmoonn-"

You hear a pair of motorcycles scream past the gas station headed east, away from the source of the blasts, at least a pair of machine guns firing away blindly as a few of them are yelling-

KRAC-BOOOOOOOOM!

Another blue flash lights up the night, sounding like it was aimed at the fleeing bikes.

Only for a loud truck to go roaring by a few seconds later, accompanied by the sound of another beam being fired from it.

KRAC-BOOOOOOOOM!

"-ack here you little shits!"


You don't recognize the deep, echoing voice, but he sounds angry, dumb, and like he has too many teeth in his head.

The flesh glooorps up your right arm as the taxi driver's breathing stabilizes, allowing you to stand up and clench it in a tight fist as you snarl along with your familiar - the air around you rippling and shimmering with white and silver pulses that match your pounding heart.

In one fluid step you're back atop the massive lightsaber-cat, just as he leaps the few hundred feet from the gas station store to the road - only to immediately take a ninety-degree turn, the two of you blurring after the fleeing vehicles with zero-to-highway speed acceleration.

Trouble wants to find you now?

It better fuckin' bring it.


***


As you're focusing on pulling out and shaping the weapons and armor from your Technomorphic Inte- no, Charms that have dumb and long names get 'breviated - your TIE, the world around you blends into a mix of pulse-pounding sensations.

KRAC-BOOOOOOOOM!

The thrumming, engine-like heartbeat and breath of the giant mechanical predator you're riding. The rhythmic searing cracks of pavement getting torn up by lightsaber claws with each paw-fall. The strobing pulse of passing street lights and traffic signs against your closed eyes as the two of you blur past them at highway speeds.

KRAC-BOOOOOOOOM!

It takes less than a minute for you to go from looking like Taylor in her Wards costume to a more… generic version of yourself, fully-armored with both your pet robosquid and super-clothes max'd out for combat, your shapshifting everything-lightsaber strapped to your back.

KRAC-BOOOOOOOOM!

Ultimately, though, you're a tiny bit leery about using it here. On one hand, lightsaber fuck yeah! On the other hand, you're… pretty sure it doesn't have a stun setting, and you'll definitely get 'Master/Stranger Box' treatment from the PRT if you start offing idiots first thing.

After all, you just need to knock these morons out, right? That shouldn't be-

KRAC-BOOOOOOOOM!

You open your eyes and turn your head to the left to see why that last blast was so loud, only to notice that your totally awesome-

Rrrrrurrmm!

-mechacat ride is now easily keeping pace beside the tricked-out humvee that Mr. Bluebeam is using as a chariot. He's… been yelling this whole time too, and taking a quick look backwards makes you realize that your 'chase' has taken you around several corners by now. Guess you'd just tuned all the bullshit out since this ride is so damn smooth.

Muurrrrhh.

"Yeah, yeah,"
you snort, grinning as you look again at the oblivious gangers crammed into the humvee barely ten feet away. Because your power-Charm is the best. "This almost feels… unfair, you know?"

Rrrrrummmrr?

"Nah. I'm sure we'll run into someone that can shrug it off later, so might as well abuse the shit outta it while I-"


KRAC-BOOOOOOOOM!

You blink, then look forward to the two bikes still dodging and weaving up ahead, causing the giant blue beam of death to miss and tear a gouge outta the road before sending a parked car airborne in a massive fireball.

… uh, right. You need to stop the bikes up ahead to figure what that's all about, sure, but Beamboy needs to stop now.

Flexing once just to psych yourself up for it, you tense up and… hop the fifteen-ish feet from mechacat's back onto the top of the humvee, landing effortlessly on all fours just behind the villain cape who's standing up in some kind of turret-like rig made for him into the top of the truck.

Huh.

You're not sure what disappoints you more: how easy that was, or how dirty and torn-up this asshole's costume is. As you watch him, though, you figure the holes might be intentional given how his body seems to pulse with light as he gathers it up, bringing his right arm back to prepare another car-sized blast from his fist.

"HOLD STILL AND DIE, YOU RATS!"

"Alright, that's enough outta you."

As you snark into the roaring wind, reflexively your hand goes to your back-left pocket to draw your electrified stun baton… from your Wards costume…

Ah, shit. And you don't have your stink Charm to give you knockout gas, and he'll totally start throwing beams randomly if you don't KO him in one shot.

Uhhhh… okay, so... 'if you can't disable a parahuman threat immediately, you should instead move to disarm him if possible.' Right.

PSHZZzzzraaoww-SHRACK-zzzraaoww-SHRACK!

A blazing blade of silver flashes out in an arc once, twice.

...

There. Disarmed!

You flick the lightsaber off and tuck it behind your back again just as the now completely harmless villain passes out with a gurgled cry of pain, collapsing back down into the humvee-

You feel a burst of ravenous glee that isn't your own, just in time to catch a glimpse of the giant mechacat streaking through the air behind you… to catch both of the dismembered arms in his lightsaber-toothed maw as they fall off the back of the truck.

"Wha-... what the fuck, man! I was gonna re-attach those later!"

Grraawaaraawal.

"Ugh!"
you cringe, ignoring the cries of alarm and confusion from within the humvee. "Don't… don't talk with your mouth full!"

A flicker of movement up ahead makes you notice that the two bikes appear to be pulling away- oh, the humvee is starting to slow down. Makes sense: they probably have no idea what the fuck just happened and aren't as excited to keep going now that something just took out their boss. Shows they're not totally brainless.

"Hey," you bark out at the giant metal jag, waving a hand in the direction of the truck below when he stops chewing while he's running long enough to look at you. "Can you slash out their tires and keep these morons from bolting? I gotta go take down the bikers before they get away."

His glowing silver eyes narrow in thought for a split second, then narrow further in eager anticipation as he nods - the action causing the blackened and charred arms in his mouth to flop around gruesomely.

… eh, you' can get Ames to fix 'em. Probably.

Now though… you've got several hundred feet to make up as the two bikes turn on the speed now that they realize they don't have to dodge anymore. Sure, you've got your super-speed mutation Charm in now, along with the Charms that let you drop your weight and jump farther… but that might not be enough.

Too bad for these bitches that you've got magic kung-fu.

Crouching low in a runner's stance atop the speeding humvee, two names flicker through across your tongue as you gather more and more Essence into a shimmering ball in the back of your mind: Light-Treading Technique, Flashing Passage. These Charms aren't machinery or circuitry stuffed into your robo-body, they're… patterns etched in your soul. Instructions that, as the gathering Essence bleeds into the Perfected Lotus Matrix disk at the base of your skull, tell you how…

… to MOVE.

You leap-

- time stops, light bends into a collapsing hallway-

CRUUUUNCH!

The sound of the top of the humvee roof crumpling under your feet seems to follow along with you, as suddenly you're right there between the bikes-

Oh. Generic-looking goons with bags leaking cash on their backs. Guess you don't have to be too gentle.

Four thin, silver tentacles whip out from the base of your neck, each one immediately wrapping itself tightly around the neck of a goon - yanking all of them off their respective bikes and hefting them into the air around you. Your knees buckle at the added weight, but you just barely manage to avoid crashing and burning as you sliiiiiiide to a stop in the middle of the road - the two motorcycles careening forward a few yards before twisting, flipping, and crashing messily without their riders.

...

… they didn't explode. Damn. That would have been cooler.

Glancing at your four choking captives, you absently reach up to the back of your neck and pat your robo-squid for a job well-done. It doesn't seem to react like the other one did, still just a lurking presence in the back of your mind awaiting further orders. Gonna have to work on that, too - what's the point of having cool shit if it doesn't have attitude?

SKREEE-CRRRUUUNCH!


You turn your head just enough to catch your giant mecha-cat jumping down from having pancaked the front of the humvee straight into the pavement.

… not sure any of those dudes were wearing seatbelts, either. Huh.

You sigh and glance at the four guys suspended in the air around you by popsicle-stick-thin tentacles.

"Hurry up and choke already, I need to go make sure my cat didn't kill any of the dudes that were just trying to blow you up."

They keep gurgling. One of them slumps enough for their duffel bag to fall from their shoulders and land on the street with a puff of escaping bills.

You stare at it for a few seconds, ignoring the pained, panicked screams from the gangers in the truck.

"… welllll," you drawl out, reaching over to the bag, "if you're just gonna leave these laying around-"

And then a giant ghostly bear streaks down from the sky, dive-bombing your equally-giant mechanical jaguar with a thundering crash that rattles all the nearby windows and sets off even more car alarms.



You blink for a few seconds as the two oversized animals scramble against each other, tearing up the street even worse than it already was, then sigh to yourself.

Taylor's gonna hear about this, isn't she?


***

LIGHTNING ROUND VOTE: IT WASN'T ME, OFFICER, IT WAS THE NO-ARMED MAN
[X] Explain What Happened, Wait For Taylor To Show Up
[X] Take No Money


***


…. uuuuuuugh. This is why you never want to do patrols alone: dealing with all the boring shit after the fighting wraps up is just… not what you signed on for.

Sure, you could just peel away with robopuss and bounce before they realize you're here… but then Tay's gonna hear about some dude losing his arms to a laser sword and she'll tell the PRT, and then people'll start losin' their shit again how you're all actually evil robot clones and blah blah blah.

Fuck you're not lookin' forward to dealin' with all that bullshit about provin' who you are and doin' power tests again and stuff. You just wanna kick ass in style! Why's there always gotta be so many rules and paperwork?!

You tap robosquid with a finger, and mentally tell him to wrap up these four idiots and stay put while you go deal with… uh… Ursulora? Ursula? Ghost Bear lady. Since he's not talkative (yet!), you just get a weird sense that the command was understood and he untangles himself from you and starts dragging the four KO'd dudes together so he can get all his eight tentacles around 'em more easily.

You eye the big 'ol bags of money one last time and...

Nah. If you knew it was from a drughouse or whatever, yeah, you'd pick that shit up without blinking... but this could be be looted from some store or bank and they'll need it back. Not like you'll be hurting for cash once you're back in Philly, anyways…

Huh. Never thought you'd ever just walk away from cash, but here you go. These last few days have been weird.

ROOAA- *CRASH* -OOOAR!
GHHRROOARARRRRARRWWWL!


You wince and turn around, just in time to see the two huge animals roll into a parked car and crush it like a soda can. Sure it looked like a beat-up Honda, but… damnit, this is gettin' outta hand.

You start jogging towards the oversized circus brawl goin' on a few hundred feet away while mentally pullin' Essence around to shape yourself back into… yourself underneath your clothes-armor. It only takes a few seconds, after which you start reshaping your outfit into your Wards costume - the generic-looking silver 'power armor' suddenly melting, flowing, and recoloring into the more stylish armor in the time it takes you to jog a few steps.

As much shit as Taylor gives the Image team, they totally knocked it outta the park (heh) with your costume: it's like a Philadelphia Phillies jersey, except with PRT white, purple, and black colors and your 'team' the Philadelphia Wards. You've got extra armor, too, like obvious shinguards, gauntlets, and your batter's helmet has a shaded visor to hide the top half of your face. If there's one part that isn't totally awesome, it's that they didn't let you have '69' as your jersey number to go with your cape name on the back - you got '5' since that's Philly's PRT Department number.

The real costume you left behind in Philly is also made outta some bullshit combo of spider silk and coal that Taylor whipped up that eats bullets for breakfast while also keeping you from sweating or getting cold. Your new super-clothes does all that and more, but… probably worth grabbing the old one when you get back and keepin' it in your TIE for emergencies.

And now that you're within a hundred feet of the brawl, you might as well transform back into human-mode before you turn off your... power...Charm-...?

Staggering as you feel your human-mode Charm jarringly fail just as it starts to activate, you stop jogging and bring your gloved hands up to feel your still-robogirl skin. What? Why…?

The waves of rippling reality that you've been trailing in your wake catch up now that you've slowed down, washing around and past you in a way that eerily reminds you a little of the grainy footage Taylor showed you of Leviathan and his water echo.

Oh. Is… this your 'going loud' effect, like Taylor has with her lightning-smoke and Prayer has with her disco lightshow? You have been throwing around a shit-ton of Essence, and that always made Taylor drop her human-mode... before she got upgraded, at least.

Well shit, so much for trying to pass as 'ol Aisha one-point-oh. Guess you might as well let this robocat outta the bag.

...vvrrrmrvmm.

Shaking your head with a snort and starting to walk towards the ongoing brawl, you turn off your power-Charm with a hard mental shove and start waving your arms above your head. At the same time, you also start scanning the air and nearby rooftops for where Bear Lady must be chillin' but don't see any obvious trace of her.

"Hey, HEY! Yo! HOLD UP! Same team, SAME TEAM!" you yell out, while also giving a mental poke to robocat to get him to chill and get his furry ass over here.

The two massive super-animals break apart mid-roll, mechacat leaping over a dozen feet away in a single graceful move before quickly padding over to you - his flat glare telling you what he thinks about your mental command. Looks like he's lost his chew toys somewhere along the way… ugh, you're gonna have to look for those around here, aren't you?

The van-sized, blue-and-white ghost-bear makes a loud roar-huff in your general direction, its smoking blue eyes seeming to flicker as it finally notices you.

Still waving, you point one arm at the smashed-up humvee where the idiots inside have at least stopped screaming - though the way the truck is shifting you think they're trying to find a way to jam open the... doors melted shut with lightsaber claw marks?

Oh, hey, nice! That was pretty smart!

His giant cat form raises a 'what did you expect' eyebrow as he smoothly encircles you protectively.

Vrrrrmoovrm vrmmmrm.

Snorting, you reach up with your right hand and scratch him behind his left ear - more to show Bear Lady that all's well than to reward him for his snark, but you guess he deserves a reward for his good work during the whole mess.

His whole body freezes as you start scratching, and you get a whole bunch of weird feelings through your connections to him, but after a few seconds he finally loosens up again and starts leaning into it… while still trying to seem like it's no big deal.

"Mmmmrmmrmmrmmurm."

"Pff. I'm gonna have to stop
some time, ya know? I sorta need my hands for other things, like punchin' dudes."

"Grarruuurrrrm."


You roll your eyes.

"... and gettin' you food and stuff, sure. Whatever."

He huffs in offense at your casual dismissal of his needs, but before he can say anything more his ears twitch and he shifts defensively to look behind and above you. Following his gaze you turn… and see - floating about twenty feet up and thirty feet back - another giant, floating ghost bear… and a similarly-ghostly floating woman in a bear-themed costume. They both look about as pissed as the bear on the ground.

"Unknown cape," she calls out, her deep voice echoing as if there's a bunch of versions of her at different distances all around you. "Impersonation of a member of the Protectorate or Wards is a federal crime. Drop your disguise if you wish to avoid criminal charges."

You squint at her and focus your Dragonfly's Ranging Eye monocle on her face… huh. Yeah, she looks legit pissed. Also she should really shave that unibrow. Eh, might as well raise both your hands-

Vvuurmm.

-your free hand to show you're not a threat, even though this is still weirding you out.

"Okay, did Tay-... wait, no, first: that's cool, I didn't know I could legally punch people that dressed up like me," you grin, then point to her helmet and then back at yourself. "Second: I am Who! Did Weaver not call ahead about me? I'm still sorta pissed I didn't get a 'Welcome Back' party, but I guess if I am early then I'll let that slide."

You blink, then bonk yourself in the helmet for not using the taxi driver's phone to check.

"No no no, wait! Before all that! What day is today?"

Since one of your eyes has a close-up view behind her bear-head half-helmet, you see her expression slowly shift to the usual tired-slash-confused look you like getting from people. Good, you don't wanna get more ghost bears dropped on you tonight.

"So…" she trails off, echoing voice sounding worried. She lifts a hand to point at mechacat, "that's another of Weaver's new drones?"

You start to laugh, then stop as you realize… ah shit: the cover story. Which you sorta didn't pay attention to. Uh… wait, didn't Saki say that she was gonna have to tell people her robobug was a new Taylor drone-?

The smooth metal 'hair' along robocat's back starts rising as he emits a low rumble in your brain.

VRRRRMVMVRRRMUURM.

Dude, calm your tits! Just, uh, think of it as… as a way to make people underestimate you! You just gotta play dumb for a while, okay?

VRROOM.

C'mon! I
know it's dumb, but we gotta just deal with this now and figg're it out with Tay when she gets here, 'kay?

Why is she looking nerv- oh shit, you haven't responded yet.

"Sorry, sorry," you wave off, tossing a glare at robocat before looking back to her and nodding confidently. "Just giving it a few commands to relax - Weaver's still working out the AI kinks for when she's not in the area and can't pilot it around normally. Don't worry, we're all cool now. No sweat."

If anything, that made her look even more worried. What-

"It was eating people!"



You only ate those arms, right? Nothing else?

...vrm.


You sigh and roll your eyes. "It was just one guy's arms! And I'd already cut 'em off, anyway!"

The guys in the truck make some noises at that, but you ignore 'em and focus on her just staring at you like you're crazy.

"... I'm calling this in."

"Hey! It totally made sense at the time!"


***


Bear Lady - Ursa Aurora she clarifies with a flat expression after you call her Ursula at one point to try to make conversation - makes you wait for the PRT cavalry to arrive while she and her giant bears round up everyone and get them all zip-tied up. She looks especially alarmed at your robosquid when it hauls the four biker dudes over for her to secure; its approach automatically draws a bunch of new growls from her two ghost bears, but after making sure the bikers' necks aren't snapped (they'll have bruises, though) she adds them to the pile of groaning gang idiots.

As for Armless Wonder…

Well, he isn't really bleeding out, since your anything-lightsaber burned everything that could bleed, but he's definitely not in any condition to make a break for it so she doesn't bother zip-tying his feet together. You're about to suggest that you can help make sure he doesn't die with your Omnitool hands, but… you're not sure how much you're supposed to reveal yet? Sure there's tons of talk about Prayer getting a new upgraded robobody 'cause she was a Case 53, but has Saki been revealed yet? It sure doesn't look like it's common knowledge that you were up next for getting a robobody, at least.

And now that Bearsy mentioned she's recording everything now (helmet cam? microphone?), you can't just toggle your power-Charm after asking questions to reset the conversation if your questions throw her off. At least… not since you're planning on keeping it off for a while now; poking around with your Charms let you figure out GodBot upgraded the power with a 'submod' to make it to work on cameras now, as long as you keep it on to let it slowly fudge up any recordings. There's a few other submods in there that aren't on so you don't really know what's up with them, especially since you don't understand what their names mean. Whatever, stuff to ask Taylor later.

Besides, you've found something better to keep your attention while you wait for the white-and-green lights of the PRT vehicles to show up.
"Oh, and that table over there? I bet that's where they go next to do nails and comb fur and stuff after drying!"

Mechacat narrows his glowing silver eyes as he follows where your finger's pointing, the low lighting from the nearby broken streetlights not stopping him from seeing through the Pet Grooming Salon's glass window.

"Mmmmrurmrrr?"

You tap a finger against your lower lip as you consider it. "Prrrrrobably not? Might have to get a special table for you or somethin' if you want 'em to do your robo form, right? Or can you make yourself weigh less in both forms?"

"Rrrm."

"Eh,"
you shrug. "Prayer likes to wash her hair in her robo form and her human form differently, so I guess it doesn't really carry over? Or does switching undo stuff like that every time?"

He rolls his shoulders, causing his head to duck a bit - his version of a shrug, you get the feeling through your link.

"What are you talking about?"

You look over your shoulder where Bearsy is floating with her arms crossed a few feet away, keeping both you and the rounded-up criminals in her field of view. Not that you've stopped having your Dragonfly monocle stay rooted on her face, so you're well aware that she's been watching the two of you this whole time.

… this is sorta like what Taylor feels like all the time, right? Seeing everything? Feels weird.

You snort. "Gonna let me use a phone yet?"

She stares back evenly. "Do you remember your ID code yet?"

The hand still scratching Robocat's ear balls into a fist as you grumble, causing his ear to flick absently at the lack of constant attention.

".... I gave you the parts I remember! Just-... look, I told you: just call Weaver already, she'll know what's goin' on!"

"We did try to call her, but she's apparently 'out of contact' right now," she grumbles right back, her whole semi-translucent body seeming to give off a bit more ghost-steam as she glares at you. "So until we get some answers, you stay where I can see you."

Ugh. Serves you right for not just headin' straight home.

"Whatever," you sigh, unclenching your fist and getting back to cat-scratching. "... was just tellin' him about gettin' his nails did."

You let your Mask hide your smile at her obvious confusion, until it morphs into alarmed concern.

"You… said it was just a drone before. It's an AI?"

… you let your Mask hide your reaction to that, instead just shrugging.

"Ehhh… it's just got the brain of a cat, pretty sure. 'Cept it actually listens to what I say," you snort. "Most of the time."

Her eyes narrow even further, but she doesn't call you on the bullshit.

"And Weaver said you shouldn't turn it off?"

Rolling your eyes, you take a deep breath and let out a long, loud sigh and turn back around to face her fully. Making sure to swap to your left hand to keep scratching Sir Spoiled's left ear, of course.

Vrrarrrum.

You're most'a the reason we're in this shit, you know that right?

Vrrr.


"Look, Bearsy-"

"Ursa. Aurora."

You meet her flat stare with your own, but let a slight grin grow on the Mask. "-... Lite-Bear. The only reason I let you know I was here was 'cause I knew Weaver'd figure out I was here and didn't hang around to help with securin' the perps, clean-up, and…" you frown. "Debrief? I… haven't actually gone on a full patrol yet, but that's the order, right?"

She grunts, but you keep talkin' before she can open her mouth to say anything back.

"Right, right, so," you barrel on, pointing at her to keep her off-guard, "as much as I love gettin' treated like I didn't just save a bunch of lives, prevent a shit-ton of stuff from gettin' blown the fuck up, and stop a bunch'a dudes from gettin' away with that bank money… when I wasn't even supposed'ta be on-duty… I'm pretty sure all'a THIS?"

You sneer, throw both hands up, and then make a swirling gesture at yourself and Robocat - who turns to give Bearsy a typical 'fuck off' cat-look when you do so.

"Is so fuckin' high above your pay-grade, Carebear, you'd better be packin' a telescope in those furs."

And suddenly the two big ghost bears warp to her sides, both eying you like you just stole all their ghost honey. Carebear herself, though...

… uncrosses her arms, flexes her hands… and lets out a long, controlled breath as her face slowly ticks down from 'gonna maul ya' mode.

Psh. Whatever. 'S only like a 6 on the Taylor scale.

Vrrrrm rrrmuuurmmrum.

Oh. Was wonderin' why you didn't just... laser that bear 'ta death before. But… nah, I'll just toggle my power-Charm if she loses it.


In the silence of the early-mornin' Bronx commercial district, you think you hear one of the gangers snicker at your statement-

One of the bears turns a murderous glare to the pile of tied-up gang bangers, and Carebear herself actually growls.

"Listen here you little shit-"

There's a bright burst of white-blue light that makes even your super-goggles blank out for a split-second, and suddenly the intersection is 1000% more fabulous.

"Ah, there you are, Who," the blue-and-white-spandex hero sighs, shaking his head with a wry smile as he tones down the glow to float down to your group. Despite the lateness and the carnage, everyone in the area feels like the day just got a bit better. "I got a notice from Weaver that you'd be coming down this route, but it looks like you're still a tough one to track down. Sorry I wasn't there for you when you got out."

VrrrrOOm.

You snort, smiling even wider at the shared feeling of awe.

Man, get in line. Everyone's gay for Legend.


***


Time's weird.

"I mean, it feels like it's been weeks since I was hangin' out right here with everyone, right? But… turns out it's only been a few days? Not even one week?"

You frown harder, staring at bottom of your empty styrofoam cup. New York does have the best water, but what gives with them not giving you coffee? Not that you drink the stuff, but still!

"Which still doesn't really add up," you sigh, waving the cup at Legend as he sits across the break-room table from you, head tilted with a curious smile on his face. "I mean, I was only awake in Roboland for... a day or so? Prolly has somethin' to do with gettin' a new bod and turbo-fying my soul and all that."

His oversized domino mask has blank white lenses covering his eyes, but you can feel the hard blink he makes by the way his eyebrows and posture react in surprise.

"Wait-... Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt," he speaks up, the first time in a while ever since he let you ramble on about how you've been 'holding up' lately in Philly and with the rest of the team. "You mean… are you saying you saw the other side of the Cradle? Did you get a chance to actually speak with Autochthon?"

Vuuuuurrr rmmrmrm?

Carfield audibly grumbles with the mental thought, looking up from his array of platters to glance between you and the Protectorate leader. You just wave away his concern - he doesn't seem to know everything you hear, see, or think, but he picks up on enough-

He was just asking if I talked with GodBot, not if you were made by GodBot. Sheesh.

Rurrrumrmv.


"Is he asking if we're talking about him, again?"

You look back at Legend and see him fighting off a smile at your apparent staredown with the lazy robocat. You shake your head and lean back in your seat enough to (easily, hah!) balance on the back two legs.

"Ah, yeah. Sorry," you grunt, tossing the cup in the air absently and squinting at the ceiling as you get back on track with Legend's question. "So, uh… to answer your question… yeah and no? Or kinda? I woke up at the big factory thing-"

Voormm.

"-vat complex," you nod, "early 'cause… I'm just awesome like that? There were a bunch of elves and dwarves there doin' the work of puttin' my new body together and all my Charms and stuff, and they sure as hell didn't know why I woke up there, too. 'Parently everyone in our crew is supposed'ta only wake up when they're all done and we get shoved back through the portal they got on that side."

Legend just sorta… stares at you for a few seconds. Huh, you stumped Legend. Nice. But what- oh, yeah.

"Yeah, like, actual dwarves and elves, not just funny-lookin' humans," you snort, holding up a hand to stop him just as he's opening his mouth to probably ask that. "I heard 'em called 'Jadeborn' and 'Firstborn' though and the pretty ones looked at me funny when I called 'em elves, but they were totally dwarves and elves..." you trail off, frowning as the next thought occurs to you. "They get treated like shit by the racist pricks in charge, though. The-..."

Burning, sizzling pain as arcs of lightning course through your body, robbing you of control as it twitches and spasms wildly. The smell of charred skin and meat and bone hangs in your nostrils…

...

A large, wet, heavy something that smells like a gas station nuzzles under your right arm and plops down in your lap.

You blink, only to realize that you're slouched at the table, the cup crushed in your hands. And now you've got a giant robot cat head parked on your thighs, gettin' your 'costume' all stinky with jet fuel from his muzzle.

You rub his ears anyway. "Stupid cat."

...

Legend seems fine to let you sit for a while and get over yourself.

"This is still, like, super-classified, right?" you sigh, jutting your chin towards to the tiny camera and microphone he set up on the white-lacquered table before he shooed the few night-shift guys out and locked the break-room door. "Like all the other crazy shit Taylor's told you guys about what's really up with us?"

He nods seriously, arms crossed. "She's given us the full story, yes, and it's classified at the highest level possible within the PRT and Protectorate. Additionally, we've taken several steps to make sure another… incident like what happened with the Nine doesn't happen again. That being said..."

Working his mouth as he considers his words, the blue-and-white hero that everyone thinks of when they use the word 'hero' regards you with a degree of weariness as he leans forward and clasps his hands on the table.

"We live in a world where someone could trigger today with the power to just… look backwards in time to see what I or Director Costa-Brown said at any point in our lives. I've seen someone that could turn into electricity and simply walk through firewalls and encryption like it wasn't there." He shakes his head, his mouth in a firm line at the memory. "There's never going to be a perfect way to hide something without also making it impossible for us to actually use that information. The best I - or any of us in the Protectorate and PRT - can give you is that we're doing everything we can to keep private information private, and that everything you give us is being treated with the respect and seriousness it deserves."

After taking a moment to soak all that in, you sag down even further and sorta slowly plop face-down on the table. Keeping your hands scratching the dumb cat's ears, of course.

"Uuuuuuugh... Why you gotta be so cool? Just let me be sad and shit with my secret magic robot trauma."

You feel Legend reach over and softly pat your back, but he otherwise remains quiet. For a while, the only other sounds in the room come from the the fan on the ceiling and the light purring of robocat.

...

Youuuu should probably ask Taylor just how much she's actually told 'em, but… it's fuckin' Legend. If anyone's gotta know the whole deal if the PRT's gonna help with everything, it's him. Right? Right.

... and now that you're thinkin' about it, he might actually be able to help you blast the shit outta Mogerfucker since you've heard he can tank Behemoth's lightning bolts. Oh, and you can use your razzle-dazzle charm to do pictures and voices, too, to really sell how fuckin' shitty what happened was, so they'll totally be down for helping!

Fuck feelin' sad, you're pumped as shit for this now! You can already imagine that fucker gettin' gay-lasered in the face!

Taking a deep breath as you straighten back up in your foldable seat, you flex your arms and then crack your knuckles as you give the now-chuckling Legend a shit-eating grin.

"Arrrright! In that case, just remember: you asked for it!"

Closing your eyes and focusing on your RIA charm, you give it a push and feel the breakroom around you melt away into your memory of waking up in another dimension.

"Welcome to Robotland! You are now in a giant blue bitch's crack!"


***


As much as you'd like to say you automatically did a perfect recreation of your entire time in Roboland, there were a few… not so perfect parts. The first being that while your memory and eyesight are WAY better than they were before, you're still not Taylor - and it's not like you walked up and examined all of the fiddly bits in the rooms you visited, so there's lots of situations where the people and things that you did focus on are way more detailed than the rest of the scene. Which is a huge bummer the more you think on it, 'cause even though a lot of the holy shit factor you had was because of how detailed and crazy and magical and different everything looked... there was also how it felt; your Charm can't really get across the sense of belonging and rightness you had bein' in a world with actual Essence floatin' around, not like here on Earth where it feels like the air is just slightly off if you focus on it too long.

You also don't remember every little word and moment you were there in perfect order, so it kinda plays out like a mashed-together speed-cut of a bunch of the important stuff that sometimes flashes back when you remember something someone said later - usually when Legend asks who someone is or what a part is or whatever. It is kinda nice that you remember the whole 'Charm review' part mostly word-for-word, though, since Legend admits that giving the science team a cut-out version of that memory'll speed up the tests the PRT are gonna want you to do for your new ratings. (No matter how much they keep tellin' you all that rating numbers aren't a competition, they totally are.)

It's also nice that you can break up his controlled, neutral reaction to all this with a few laughs at the jokes you made back then, and a few of the new ones you make while explaining things. You reward yourself with a few victory fist-pumps while you're hidden behind the illusions, since it must mean he's not completely freaking out.

Things get a bit more serious when you get the part where Torrek took you to the Artifact storage warehouse-room, and you have to repeat a few times that yeah, there totally was that many spare magical items, weapons, and armor sets just sittin' there, ready for use near the portal back to Earth. Which… you realize now could totally look like they're getting an invading army ready, even if you explain that Torrek said it was just stuff they'd found lying around all over the place and brought back to clean up and ship out to other teams and forces through Roboland. He seems to buy it, just nodding for you keep going while swallowing uncomfortably, but that leads to the explanations and parts about what they're cleaning out: GodBot's sickness...

… and the reaction people have when they find it.

...

"Spit it out there, an DON'T ATTUNE 'TA IT!"

...

"YOUR SERVANTS HAVE IMPERILED US ALL, MARTYR. THEY HAVE BEEN JUDGED."

...

That whole part is probably more detailed than the rest of the memories put together.

Even though the whole illusion is a part of your own charm, you can taste the ash in the air.

Since your own memories are spotty about the rest - except for whatever the fuck that was at the portal room - you finish up the retelling fairly quickly with a few explanations. Mechacat even chimes in mentally to help fill in some of the blanks about what he knew about what happened when you were out of it, but when you ask on Legend's behalf for more details about his creation and how he got to the portal room, he shrugs and goes back to finishing off the 'taster' platters full of various foods and industrial liquids.

You and Legend both share an unsurprised glance at that, which makes you wonder...

"Hey, um… about that? Do you have a cat?" you ask, trying to break the downer mood - the illusion of Roboland fading away around you as Legend gets up from his chair and starts stretching absently as he visibly considers everything you've just dropped on him. "You haven't really been surprised by the way he acts."

Vrrrruurmmr?

You don't answer him, which causes him to look up from the barely-touched platter of actual dry cat food (why did they have that laying around in PRT HQ?) and give the two of you a suspicious glare.

"Hm? What? Oh-..." he mutters for a bit, then turns his head to you once he actually considers the question. "Ah, no we don't have any pets at the moment, though I did have two cats when I was younger and living with my parents. I take it you've never had one yourself before?"

You shrug and give a so-so hand gesture as you plop down in the chair again and lean back. "Eh, there were a bunch of strays that hung out behind my mom's building that I'd hang out with sometimes. Most only really paid attention when I brought 'em stuff, but watchin' the old lady that sorta took care'a them was funny."

"Mmm," he hums, a tiny smile growing as he glances between the two of you. Robocat notices the attention and… pushes the dish of cat food away while keeping Legend's gaze.

"Yes," he laughs, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. "You don't own cats. Cats own you."

You give the veteran Protectorate Leader a flat look at that bit of wisdom, then turn and give the smug pussy the 'ol double-bird. It takes him a moment before he reacts, but eventually he smoothly sits up just enough to reach out towards your face-

"No," you growl, leaning away from him. "No no no-"

There's a whoosh of twisting air a few feet away near the couches, causing everyone to look and see a large, swirling portal of black-and-white hexagons-

Smmmmooooooosh.

"Mthr fckr!" you try to curse, having stopped leaning back when you were horizontal with the floor. It wasn't far enough. Worse, your frustration only increases when you hear the high-pitched squeal of a young girl.

"IT'S A KITTY~!"

There's a few pitter-patters of tiny feet and then suddenly the giant paw is yanked away from your face - letting you catch a glimpse of the horse-sized, mechanical, laser-wielding apex-predator duck its ears back and slink away from the leaping arms of a tiny blonde bio-tinker.

"KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY~!"

There's a loud series of crashes as your giant cat impossibly squeezes under tables and through chair legs, only for the preteen to plow through them in her chase.

"... that wasn't how I expected that to play out," you hear Taylor say behind you, causing you to glance back and see her, Saki, Saki's cat-sized scorpion buddy, and Prayer now watching Bonesaw chase the terrified giant mechacat around the breakroom.

As the tenth chair gets flipped over, joining four other tables and several seat cushions, you finally make up your mind and nod in approval.

"So... can I keep her for a while?"


***


After giving all the party crashers a smile and a welcome, Legend bows out to head back home for a few minutes - it's almost seven in the morning, so he wants to be home for his son and husband when they wake up and head off to school and work.

You… want to believe that. Really.

But you could see him gettin' more and more tense as you showed him more and more memories 'a Roboland. Questions came a little slower each time he spoke up for you 'ta clarify somethin', and even to you it was obvious he was pickin' his words so's not to sound down on you or GodBot. You were hopin' it was just him gettin' tired because it's so late - or early, you guess - and that droppin' all this on him now was just stressin' him out more than usual…

… but you think you saw him flinch when Taylor and everyone showed up.

...

Yeah you… prrrrobably should'a had Taylor in the room when you showed all that off. Shit.

"I'll make sure to get a copy of Aisha's report to Director Uriel and Chevalier, Weaver," he offers with a tired half-smile, before nodding to Saki. "It's been a long night for everyone, and not all of us have Who's new 'never get tired' power - make sure Tatsu gets back to her vacation in time to get some rest, okay?"

Taylor's mouth twitches as she finishes straightening the couch cushions and looks up, though you see some of the weird extra eyeballs on her forehead look towards you as she starts moving towards the wrecked appliances on the nearby counter. "Not going to tell me to get some rest as well?"

His smile falls along with his shoulders as he opens the rec room door, but after a moment of silence he huffs a laugh anyway and runs a hand through his short, dirty-blonde hair.

"I haven't lived this long by trying to win every battle," he finishes with a sigh, then offers a departing nod to Prayer and a wave to everyone else before ducking out wearily and closing the door behind him.

Taylor's expression goes all stone-faced (metal-faced? clay-faced?) at his last comment, but she turns away from you and suddenly you have a wide-eyed Saki, razor-focused in your face. Because she somehow now has your face in both of her sleeve-covered hands.

Huh, this close, you can really tell the difference between her gunmetal-gray skin and your own unpolished-silver, especially the way the breakroom's lights reflect off-

"Did you see Sakura?"

You blink and try to pull away, but the tiny little asian girl is waaay stronger than you remember. Also… you like boys. Yes. Right.

… even though Dennis probably would be super down for-

"Uhhhh…" you gulp. "Kinda? Someone shapechanged to look like her then... said she was busy and couldn't make it when I called 'em on it."

Her mouth drops open and her eyes go even wider, to the point where you're not sure if it's an RIA illusion or she's usin' her HSA Charm to make her eyeballs cartoon-big. She doesn't say anything for a few seconds while you stare into her eyes - so black you can just fall right in-

Suddenly she realizes what she's doin' and yanks away from you, blushing furiously before muttering a bunch of apologies and bowing a lot. You blink-

"Ugh," you groan, covering your own face out of sheer reflex as you lean back in your fold-out chair. "Don't… don't get up in people's faces when you're fuckin' full-throttle pretty, Saki. Just... fuck. I think I need an adult."

A big 'ol hand plops down on your head, even you know the owner of it was across the room from you just a second ago. And wearing full armor. Bot damnit! You're supposed to be Stealth Queen of the party!

"You hold yourself well, already," Prayer hums, her voice still all echo-y with crystal chimes. She pats your robohair, like she's testing it for something. She surprised it's still got the same kink-frizz to it as your old human hair? "How went your communion with the Great Maker?"

You frown and bring down your hands after a few seconds to cross your arms, considering the question as she continues to pat your head. Whatever, fuck you it feels good. "I mean… it's me, so he was like, 'yup you are fuckin' perfect and I'm a genius so go forth and kick ass in my name while I take a nap'."

Most of the action in the break room freezes at that, except for Bonesaw who's still got one arm wrapped around robocat's neck and the other tiny hand scratching gleefully under his chin - the little monster having finally grappled the huge cat when he stood his ground with all the enthusiasm of someone gettin' dragged out in the street and shot. The mixture of pleasure and nervousness you're getting through your link to him is making it hard for you to do anything but giggle in amusement, but you've got your Mask to cover it up.

The roboscorpion isn't bothering to hide his giggles.

"Grrummmrrrr."

"It's
not bullshit! That's what happened!"

Taylor sighs loudly enough to interrupt whatever anyone was going to say next, shaking her head as she pulls her hands together after reassembling the breakroom's coffee machine. Wait, did it have three spouts before-…?

"Let's head back - the PRT's morning shift is starting soon and I'm seeing a few office workers already making their way here. Saki, could you please...?"

Back to having regular-sized eyes and no longer making you feel uncomfortably warm just looking at her, Saki nods a bit too eagerly and steps over to the large empty area between the tables and the couches, then waves for everyone to get close. As you grumble to yourself and get up from your chair to make your way over, Taylor intercepts you with an arm around your shoulder that…

You hear a hint of concern in her voice. "Aisha?"

Okay, sure. You hug her back. Whatever.

...

"You're not in your power armor," you mumble into her armpit, the fabric of her stupidly-soft undersuit muffling it enough so that no one else hears it. Probably. Hopefully.

"Mmm," she hums. It feels nice. "Should I be?"

"... eh."




"Thanks."

She hums again.



"Brian says you're grounded."

"MOTHERFU-"



***


Going back into Saki's freaky pocket dimension, both you and Catcar share a few blinks of surprise that end in shivers: it feels a lot like Roboland… if Roboland was ruled by some sort of super-anal judge that's barely tolerating your existence. Sure, you remember it feeling kinda spooky and stifling in here the few times you passed through here before, when you were made of meat, but now it's like you're visiting a place that runs entirely on the idea of NO FUN ALLOWED.

Taylor makes you try to explain this when she notices the two of you react (because of course she did), but all you end up doing is making Saki frown, huff, then reach down and pat the weird wavy-black floor tiles while muttering gooey stuff - as if you'd hurt its feelings or something. You snort a laugh at that, but stop when you feel your feet rumbling and there's a huge clank of metal bars slamming down deep below.

You think you hear Prayer cough as you quickly slide away from the area, but that was probably just an echo.

Trying to change the subject, Taylor asks what you've been up to since she felt you pop out of the Cradle through the Doom Ball - literally - as apparently they'd all been hole'd up in here shovin' rocks in peoples' heads (like what Bonesaw's got) all night, and now Armsdouche, Accord, and Crazy Fairy are all stuck inside the prison-floor while they're healin' up from the job. She'd managed to get a message out to the PRT and Legend that you'd come out early, but then Doom Ball had shut the drones around him down 'cause they were interferrin' with his calculations or somethin'.

You're kinda surprised by the question, since you figure'd she'd just hack the PRT or something in the few minutes she was in the break room with you. So then you ask her if that meant she didn't see the whole song 'n dance you just did with Legend tellin' him what happened when you were in Roboland...

Apparently they thought you were joking around when you said all that stuff before? Okay, yeah, that would'a been hilarious and you're gonna have to remember that for when you meet up with the rest of the Wards.

Still, that… gets you a whole 'nother round of Saki in your face, but thankfully Catmobile smooshes her away from you before things get super weird because now you're startin' to worry that she's been hangin' round Dennis and she's- no. Whatever. It's fine.

Buuuuuut that sorta leads into you having do the whole show again.

Only this time with lots more questions that you mostly can't answer 'cause fuck if you know what that guy in the red overalls was doin' with those tubes or what that giant set of armor against the wall was or whatever. Also, ignorin' Bonesaw's questions ("No faaiiiir! I don't know what you're saaayyyiiinng!") until she finally shuts up is pretty great.

Still, it's easier the second time around - not only have you got a better hang 'a the RIA charm after a few hours of practice, but you aren't doin' flashbacks or anything now that the order of how everything happened is still fresh in your mind, and you even point out the stuff that Legend asked about last time. You do get a kick out of Taylor's eyes (all eight) nearly poppin' outta her head when she sees the warehouse-'o-loot, though.

As excited as everyone was when you started, when shit gets dark at the end… it's rough havin' to re-live all that shit again and again.

That fucker's gonna pay.

Vroom.

Damn straight.

It doesn't all end on a downer - Saki squeeling in surprise and clapping at seeing "Sakura" at the end breaks the mood, makin' everyone smile a bit after the heavy shit. You can't help snorting a laugh yourself when you get the impression from her wiggling on her raised-tile seat that she's sorry for not having believed what you said before.

Still, the good mood doesn't last long when you show 'em what you saw of GodBot lookin' all tired and satisfied and goin' back to sleep - Prayer especially starts gettin' fidgety and castin' helmeted glances at Taylor's back. You're about to ask why everyone suddenly got all serious 'n shit, but Taylor holds up a hand as you're lettin' the RIA charm fade.

"Wait," she bites out, her voice cold enough to make you wince. "Keep going. Show us what you did that made Legend debrief you."

"Whoa, whoa, hey,"
you reel back, before leaning forward again and pointing a finger back at her. "I saved the fuckin' day is what I did! I could'a done what Doom Ball said and just let those jackasses tear up the city, ya'know?"

There's not a lot of heat in your voice, but it's still enough make Taylor pause-

Saki pokes her in the leg, leaning into Taylor's personal space and glaring at your black-metal boss with a too-cute pout. Taylor doesn't turn her head to look at Saki, but she does lean slightly away when the roboscorpion on Saki's shoulder huffs and pokes her arm as well.

"Right," she groans, blinking a few times with all her eyes before she sighs and reaches up and rubs her face. Slowly, the stiffness in her whole posture melts away, leavin' a much more tired-looking Taylor. "Sorry, I… didn't mean it like that, I'm just… still trying to process everything you just showed us. Most of it is… bad."

Saki turns her head just enough to level her glare at you, making you gulp. "She's also supposed to be on vacation. Not dealing with this kind of... poop. You just had to come back right after I'd convinced her to take a break, didn't you?!"

You snort, giggling at that idea. "Hah! Yeah, right: Tay, taking a break? Good one. How're ya gonna make sure you don't get jumped? Go relax on the moon?"

Most of Taylor's extra eyes start looking in random directions while her main eyes blink briefly before scowling in thought.

"... huh. That-"

"No! Bad Taylor!"
Saki interrupts, covering Taylor's ears and then glaring at you with frantic eyes. "Stop that! Don't give her dumb ideas!"

...

"Wait… you were serious?"

You laugh harder.


***


"Aisha, wait," Taylor interrupts - in English - just as you're done showing how you and Catcar got yelled at by Doom Ball… but when you turn back to look back at her, but she's not even a bit guilty at her 'Familiar' freaking you out. Actually, she looks more confused than anything.

"Yeah?"

"What's-..." she tilts her head, some of the top eyes glancing to your side. "Are you… deliberately not using or telling us your Familiar's name? At first I thought you were joking around, but you've used eleven different names for him now and he hasn't reacted to even the mocking ones, so I haven't been able to figure out which name is correct."

"Oh," you sigh, rolling your eyes and waving absently at where he's been sitting beside you. "No, he's got a name-"

You stop, just now noticing that at some point Prayer has crept up beside you. And is sitting, legs crossed, with Carfield's head in her lap as her gauntlets stroke his head and scratch his chin. A small noise from Saki and robopinchy means she just noticed it too.

You stare at the big blue slab of crystal armor. Her helmet stares back for a few seconds, looks down, and then looks back at you.

"The <s'la r'kra>," she murmurs, more tongue clicks than words. "Grass stalkers. My first… relationship. Her tribe tamed them as companions. I was… reminded."

You blink as some of the echo drops from her voice at the end, soundin' more like her normal voice, and glance at everyone else for what the fuck to say to that. Figures that they all look as surprised as you are, which is weird 'cause haven't they… talked to her about gettin' her memories back and stuff? Actually, hold the fuck up-

"They had laser jaguars as pets? How the fuck they'd do that?!" You laugh, before realizing a second, more important part. "No, wait, really: how'd they do that? Can you teach me?"

Even though he definitely doesn't understand English, you may have been a bit too eager with that realization in your head; judging by the low growl that you can feel from five feet away as he opens one eye just enough to glare at you, he doesn't approve of whatever you're thinking.

"Guuuurrrr rruuww."

You heave a huge sigh and shake your head. "Ugh. You are such a baby if you can't even take-!"

"Mmmuuuururuwwlll-"

"Oh 'superior' my perfect silver ass! What about that tanker, huh? You were totally gonna blow our cover!"


The wisps of power flowing from his gleaming blue eye trail off as he looks away from you for a second, then lays back fully into Prayer's lap. She resumes her petting automatically.

"... rrruuuwwl."

"Pff, right, like you
really needed-"

"A-ano…?"

Saki's hesitant interruption startles you enough to make you turn your head fully to face her. She darts her own eyes back and forth between the two of you, then hesitantly wags a sleeve-covered finger to you, then Mechacat, then back.

"W-what is he saying?"

… you narrow your eyes and glance at Robopussy, but he doesn't react.

"You... can't understand him?"

The other three robot girls all look at each other, but even though they each shake their heads, Taylor is the one to answer. Riley continues to just huff at Prayer hogging the best petting spots.

"Again," she shrugs, leaning back a bit further on her hex-tile seat as she considers him evenly, "I thought you were joking around before. Is he speaking to you at the same time in your mind?"

You… huh. You scratch your head at that.

"Uhh… not really? Like, yeah, he can talk to me in my head, but that's with engine noises not cat noises," you snort, smirking a bit as Saki boggles at that. "You really can't hear what he's sayin'? It's in our… you know... secret robot language-"

"Old Realm," Taylor grunts, while patting the tiny, grumpy blonde beside her on the head. "You have baby dragons at home, Riley."

"... fiiiiine."

You blink.

"... Old Realm. Right," you drawl out with a nod, then look back to Metal Gear Sassy. "Can you talk? With words?"

He doesn't look up, just flicks his ear. Prayer soothes it back.

"Huurff."



Covering your face, you sigh again. After a second of silence, you hear Taylor and Saki make consecutive noises of realization and start giggling. A moment later, the robobug heaves an overdramatic sigh.

"Clear lines of communication are essential to battlefield coordination, young one," he scoffs, and you look through your hand to see him clacking one of his pimped-out pincers at the huge cat. "You serve only yourself with this mummery, not your charge."

For a moment there's no reaction… but then Mechacat flicks his metal tail up, passing right in robobug's face-

SNAP!

The bolt of sheer 'what-the-fuck?!' shock that floods through your connection is almost drowned out by the hiss/yowl that the giant cat peels out as it flips itself several feet straight up into the air from it's flopped position on the floor - yanking the actual-cat-sized robopinchy off of Saki's shoulder and flinging it wildly through the air as it continues to hang on-

"Disrespect me, you flash-forged little cast-iron-!?"

Ksshaow!


There's a flash of light as the metal tail suddenly retracts to reveal its lightsaber core-

"AAAH!"

- and with a slight hissing noise of boiling metal the bug is launched up higher into the air. You get a split-second feeling of smug satisfaction from the link-

And suddenly there's a GIANT FUCKIN' PALACE over your head oh shiiiii-

Pouring Essence into your charms, you grab Taylor while Prayer grabs Saki and Bonesaw as both of you lunge… and just make it to the edge of the walls when the whole thing SLAMS down with a ground-shaking CRASH. A split-second later you see a streak of glowing silver light bolting off into the distance, which is followed immediately by the booming, wordy curses of the running-on-bug-legs palace as it takes off in hot pursuit.

...

...oooohkay. Maybe... maybe not gonna sass Saki's Familiar in the future. 'Least until you get a better read on 'im.

Still laid out on the tile where she landed after you body-checked her, Taylor grumbles something in English - you think you catch the word 'spirits' in there somewhere. A few yards over, where Prayer has delicately placed Saki and Bonesaw, you hear both of them giggle as everyone watches the silver streak now swerving erratically to avoid blasts of yellow light from the top of the thin, rear-attached secondary tower of the skittering palace. Prayer only twitches her hands.

...

"Is he making you guess his name, or is he just not telling you?"

You look down, but Taylor hasn't budged from her splayed-out position - if anything, you think she's trying not to fall asleep. Oh, right, it's probably almost noon and not everyone is awesome as you.

Eh. She's on vacation. She can sleep in later.

"He said it's 'J-L-001', but I told him that's another dumb Roboland name and I'd help him pick a better one."

… slowly, she opens her main eyes to look at you…

… then closes them again.

"Nevermind," she sighs. "You completely deserve each other."

***


While Sourpuss and Pinchy Palace fight off in the distance, Taylor gets you to explain what happened in New York - occasional booms and zaps and yelling echoing over the horizon sometimes make everyone pause, and you also get distracted by the flashes of pain and anger through your link.

Part of you want him to win the fight… but you mostly want another way to keep him in line, so you're cool with him getting his metal-fuzzy butt kicked all over this little dimension. And as Taylor said when Saki started gettin' fidgety about how hardcore it sounded like they were fighting, Prayer can heal'm both back up to full before you all get back so it's no big deal either way.

Other than those interruptions, you don't bother stopping to answer Bonesaw and Saki's questions because you don't wanna break your momentum while Taylor is givin' you the stone-faced 'not gonna let you know what I'm thinkin' look. So as you wind down the show - cutting things off when you started to give Legend the trip down Roboland memory lane - it's freakin' you out a bit how she's not really saying anything or doin' more than just starin' at you…

Ah shit you fucked it all up didn't you?

"Uh… Tay?" you try, coughing when no one says anything for a while after you're done. "We're cool, right? I didn't-"

She raises a hand, cutting you off, but doesn't say anything. Bonesaw fidgets uncomfortably on her left while suppressing a yawn, and Saki's eyes are darting between Tay and you while covering her mouth. Behind the three of them, still standing, Prayer could be asleep for all that you've seen her move - at least since everyone noticed her wiggling at your RIA showcase of what Catmobile looks like when he's in his 'living' disguise. Finally, after a few more seconds of awkward silence, Taylor closes her eyes and lets out a long breath that makes her golden-glowing veins dim almost completely.

"There's still… so much you need to know, Aisha, but we need to get back. I…"

She opens her eyes again while taking a deep breath. She looks… sad?

"You don't need to sleep, it sounds like you've already completed the meditations and synchronizations the rest of us needed to get in-tune with our new bodies, so all that's left is running through the PRT's power testing to update them on your new capabilities. That shouldn't take more than two hours, I think, since we have the basics from the vat technicians and more than half of your Charms are… stylized versions of ones that I, Prayer, and Saki have shown them. After that, with Legend giving the go-ahead to let you bypass Master/Stranger screening, you'll have a few hours before Saki wakes up again to come get you..."

She trails off, turning her halting gesture up in a half-shrug when she notices your hands twitch.

"Unless you don't want to go back with Saki?"

Man, it's like you're not even wearing your damn Mask. Eh, fuck it, might as well absorb it for now so ya don't have to hide that you've had it on the whole time during testing.

Schlorp!

Oh, sweet bonus: shocking everyone when it looks like your face pops off, only to then be eaten by your real face. Taylor, of course, only reacts for a split-second before sighing again.

"Of course you've been wearing it non-stop."

"Psh, duh. Shit's hilarious," you snort.

Bonesaw is instantly wide-awake again, clapping her hands together. "Ooh! Oooh! Can I try it on!? I have Essence now, too! Oh oh oh wait! Can I see Mr. Squiddy?!"

You open your mouth and are about to point to the little gremlin to shut'er down, but-

Damnit, 'Mr. Squiddy' is fuckin' perfect for a super-deadly wearable robo-octopus. Why didn't you think of that?

"No," Taylor says flatly, causing you to freeze just as you're about to glorp out the Mask through your hand to toss to her in exchange for the help. She turns her head to stare Bonesaw down, completely immune to the soggy puppy eyes now being used against her. "We're all going straight to sleep when we get back, but if you get your hands on an Artifact now your Shard won't let you sleep once it reconnects."

"Umm-" Saki mumbles, raising a sleeve-covered hand, only to have Taylor immediately turn and hit her with a look. "No, it's not- I don't want the Mask… but, um, if you aren't using the clothes Artifact-"

Taylor starts glowing again, golden mist beginning to radiate from her eyes.

"Aah! No! Gomen! Gomen! I mean I-I just… I w-was wondering if the PRT will let her... keep her l-lightsaber? After what... happened?" she stammers, eyes widening as she realizes something at the end. "I-I'm just worried! I don't want it!"

The glow dims… a little bit.

"Ehhhh…" you mumble, waving the concern away, "I'll tell 'em to fuck off if-"

"Language!"

Turning, you stare, unimpressed at Bonesaw as she points at you - puppy-eyes now turned down into a broody frown. After a second of consideration, you look back at Saki and swap to Old Realm.

"GodBot told the dwarves't custom-make it. For. ME," you grind out, thumbing your own chest to make a point. "They want me not 't use it? Fuck, whatever, fine - still gonna bust it out when shit really hits the fan. But if they try to take it from me-"

"Tell them to come to me," Taylor interrupts, still in English, smoothly standing and taking the few steps needed to get close enough to put a hand on your shoulder. "I'll deal with the PRT if they try to take any of your Artifacts away for Tinkertech testing or-"

Only for Saki to interrupt her with a tired, explosive sigh that flips up the black hair that's slipped down over her eyes. "Uuuugh! Taaayylor! Nooooo," she groans. "Vacaaaation!"

Taylor's hand clenches on your shoulder. Not enough to hurt, 'cause Taylor's a noodle when she can't get leverage on stuff, but she's… burning hot when her glowy veins start flarin' up like this, and you had to turn ISF off to get into Saki's pocket-world.

She's not looking at you - just staring off into the distance now - but the actual steam rollin' off her eyes and comin' outta her nose as she breathes in and out is super creepy and uncomfortable this close. After she doesn't say anything back for a few seconds, you raise the arm not being kept down by her clawed gauntlet.

"Uh-"

"Fine. Fine," she grits out, lifting both hands up in surrender and taking a step back as she closes her eyes. Only now there's an edge - a forced cheer in her voice that is making you… even more uncomfortable.

"You know what? Sure. Vacation time. Great idea."

Eyes still closed, she walks past you. As you watch, she strides right up to the giant circle-portal then throws her arms up above her head completely in celebration.

"Vacation time, Saki! Pick a place!"

With a whispered whirl of not-air, the scene through the ring changes to a twisted vision of… a ski resort? But just as you, Bonesaw, and Prayer start to blurt out her name, Taylor walks right through.

"Tay, the fu-?!"/"Taylor wait, let me come-!"/"Administrator-!"

"Have fun handling things, everyone! I'm on vacation now!"

Without even thinking, you're barely two steps away from the portal, chasing after her-

The scene disappears with a soft whuff of non-wind, and you halt.

...

Turning, you notice Prayer was only a half-step behind you while Bonesaw had barely managed to leap off her seat. Only now, all three of you are staring at one person.

"A-ano..."

Straightening up slightly from her dashing stance, Prayer's voice is tense - the remaining echo in it sounding like a finger rubbing across a thin crystal edge.

"Warden... What. Did. You. Do?"

The gunmetal-grey-skinned babe in a super-pretty dress gulps, the action drawing your attention to the line of her- bot damnit stupid sexy Saki arrgh-!

Pain!

The burst of feedback through your Familiar link thankfully destroys that line of thought as it flashes through mind, smashing through those traitorous thoughts. You scowl at Saki's blatant attempt to distract you and open your mouth-

WHAM!

The body of a broken, seared, sliced-up mechanical panther slams down a few feet away from your group, rolling only once before coming to a goopy, bleeding stop. Somewhere in the distance, you hear a deep, pompous "HAH!" of triumph.

...

...kuuuff...

... you have zero sympathy for him at the moment.

"Ahem…" Saki coughs, shrinking back as everyone finishes taking that in and turns back to her. Panicked black eyes dart between you all as she reaches up to hide her strained, nervous smile behind her sleeve with one hand while the other is offered up in a half-hearted shrug.

"...Oops?"


***


CHAPTER 10.4 - INTIMACY CHANGES:
RED Intimacies have not been fully-established yet, and are not used for bonuses/negatives.
GREY Intimacies yield the normal bonuses/negatives until fully eroded.

EOA - Intimacy LOST: Who|Aisha (I Won't Forget Her) [Illusion]
EOA - Intimacy GAINED: What Memory Serves (The Mayhem I Made My Own) [Servitude] [4/4]
EOA - Intimacy GAINED: Legend (How Much Is The Hero And How Much Is Cauldron) [Emotion|Reservation] [4/4]
EOA - Intimacy STARTED: J-L-001 (The Cat Aisha Deserves) [Illusion] [3/4]

FPoP - Intimacy GAINED: What Memory Serves (A Test Of Faith) [Servitude] [3/3]
FPoP - Intimacy GAINED: J-L-001 (Wild Master, Wild Spirit) [Illusion] [3/3]

WoRI - Intimacy GAINED: What Memory Serves (Sisters In Trauma) [Servitude] [3/3]
WoRI - Intimacy GAINED: J-L-001 (Makes Lord Grasp Look Even Better) [Illusion] [3/3]

WMS - Intimacy GAINED: J-L-001 (Partners In Ass-Kicking) [Servitude] [3/3]
WMS - Intimacy GAINED: First Prayer of Perfection (Crystal-Cold Badass) [Servitude] [3/3]
WMS - Intimacy GAINED: Warden of Reflected Infinities (We've Been Through Some Shit) [Servitude] [3/3]
WMS - Intimacy STARTED: Warden of Reflected Infinities (Stupid Sexy Saki) [Illusion] [2/3]


CHAPTER 10.4 - ABILITY CHANGES:
WMS - Occult ●○○○○ - GAINED!


CHAPTER 10.4 - BACKGROUND CHANGES:
WMS - Connections (Jadeborn) ●●●○○ - GAINED!


ABILITIES-IN-TRAINING, PURCHASABLE-BACKGROUND CHANGES:
As a reminder: from now on, each character will have ONE Ability, Specialty, and Background (each) available for purchase at the end of each Chapter. These options will either be relevant to the events of that Chapter, or will be forecasting events of the next Chapter. Spending XP on these Abilities/Specialties will also serve as another way to influence the narrative of the subsequent Chapter, as there will be at least one scene dedicated to showing off how the character is improving/has improved that Ability/Specialty. Note that because what is available will change each Chapter, you may want to jump on options when they appear; multiple Chapters may pass before you get the option of spending XP on that Ability/Specialty/Background again.
Virtues, should we ever want to raise them, may be increased with XP at any point - such a dramatic shift in character personality, however, will likely dominate the subsequent Chapter's narrative.


CHAPTER 10.5 VOTING - ABILITY/SPECIALTY/BACKGROUND PURCHASE OPTIONS:
EOA - Medicine ●●●○○
EOA - Presence (Parenting ●○○)
EOA - Connections (PRT) ●●●○○

FPoP - Occult ●●○○○
FPoP - Stealth (Heavy Armor ●○○)
FPoP - SEE VOTING OPTIONS

WoRI - Bureaucracy ●○○○○
WoRI - Performance (Illusions ●○○)
WoRI - Connections (Youth Guard) ●●○○○

WMS - Bureaucracy ●○○○○
WMS - Investigation (Criminal Scum ●○○)
WMS - Backing (Cauldron) ●●●●○


Don't worry, Taylor! Aisha and Saki are on the job!

...Poor, poor Philadelphia.

Aaaanyway, looks like the rest of the Assembly is going to get a glimpse of just how much Taylor's been juggling when all these chainsaws come crashing down around us. Thankfully, our massive investitures into Ally and Backgrounds for Taylor and the rest of the Assembly will be around to keep things from becoming catastrophic. Hooray for planning ahead!

"Vacation" can mean many things, however, and Taylor's ability - and proclivity - to meddle and take control can easily get away from her and make this entire get-away pointless. As a result, this vacation is also a measure of trust due to how she's placing her faith in the Assembly to handle things while she recovers. Now, while I won't reveal whether or not Bad Things are going happen to/around Taylor while she's away, it's a safe bet that Bad Things are going to happen around the Assembly; obviously Taylor will come running should an S-Class Threat make an appearance, but we'll need to decide just how low the threshold is for us to "Light the Weaver Signal" so to speak.

Lastly for Taylor, we need to choose how public we want Taylor to be with her Vacation. It's a fairly binary decision, since given her level of fame any confirmation of where she is will immediately be picked up by anyone even paying casual attention to cape culture. While there are obvious pluses and minuses to both sides, I will go ahead and declare that the level/number of Bad Things that happen to Taylor on vacation will be the same regardless - this decision merely influences the flavor of Bad Things (if any do happen).

Of course, if Taylor's not around... that means there's no one to really keep Aisha in line if she wants to get up to shenanigans. Sure, Brian has 'grounded' her, which means that with Aisha going straight back to Philly she'll be stuck in the Wyld Hunt's new, secure base (since the apartment building he bought a place in for his "non-cape affiliated permanent residence" got blown up during the S9 mess). However, as much as she cares for 'Big Bro' Aisha's never really let him dictate where she goes and what she does. We already voted for her to be... proactive in lightening Taylor's workload before, so this vote will cover just how much she balances that against Brian's attempts to establish himself as an authority figure over her.

As Aisha works her (often literal) magic around town, something she'll need to consider is just how easy it is for her to one-shot (or just permanently maim) all these dumb, squishy criminals. An extension of this fact is something she's also already discovered: being ridiculously overpowered means there's no challenge. So, then, the question becomes: how does she operate while Taylor's away? Sandbagging, deliberately holding herself back and making things harder for herself while guaranteeing she stays within the standard PRT rules of engagement, or does she decide time and efficiency is more important than these bozos' well-being. Since it's worth clarifying, in neither scenario is she deliberately cruel or vicious so "maximizing efficiency" doesn't immediately mean Alex Mercer-levels of "threat neutralization."

Finally, Contessa will be interacting with Prayer in the near future to smooth out the delivery of Case 53s into Camden. In one of these interactions, she will counsel Prayer to direct a great deal of her personal wealth - as well as her bounties from the S9 - but Contessa can only provide the Path; Prayer must provide the destination. What kind of future does Prayer want for the Case 53s?


CHAPTER 10.5 VOTING - VOTING OPTIONS:


Do Not Stare Into The Weaver-Signal, It Stares Back (Choose ONE, NO STUNT)
[ ] Don't Call Taylor For Anything Short Of An Endbringer
[ ] Call Taylor In The Event of A Major Catastrophe (Gang War, Natural Disaster, Alchemical Candidate At Risk)
[ ] Call Taylor If Medium Problems Get Out Of Control (Cascading Bureaucratic Messes, Big PR Disasters, Alchemical Candidate Shenanigans, Assembly Arguments)

How Do You Do, Fellow Human Vacationers? (Choose ONE, NO STUNT)
[ ] The Public Is Not Aware That Taylor Is On Vacation
[ ] Taylor's Vacation Is Public Knowledge

No Ladders Required (Choose ONE, ONE Stunt Allowed)
[ ] Aisha Sneaks Out To Pursue Assembly Business At Every Opportunity
[ ] Aisha Occasionally Sneaks Out With At Least One Wyld Hunt Member In Tow
[ ] Aisha Circumvents Grounding By Always Tagging Along With Brian

Rules Of Engagement, Rules Of Nature (Choose ONE, ONE Stunt Allowed)
[ ] Aisha Sandbags, Follows PRT Rules of Engagement, Minimizes Inflicting Long-Term Injuries
[ ] Aisha Does Not Risk Herself Or Slow Down, Maximizing How Much She Gets Done

To Dream Of Better Days (Choose ONE, NO STUNT)
[ ] The Camden Revival Goal: Rome
[ ] The Camden Revival Goal: Mecca
[ ] The Camden Revival Goal: Shangri-La
[ ] The Camden Revival Goal: El Dorado


XP Expenditures should be formatted as such:
[X] NAME - ? XP - Item ●●●○○
[X] NAME - ? XP - Item (Specialization ●●○)



DISCUSSION BEGINS NOW
NO VOTES WILL BE COUNTED UNTIL VOTING BEGINS

USE THIS TIME TO FORMULATE AND FINALIZE STUNTS


DISCUSSION ENDS:
 
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