Day 67
Sapphire was back to brooding this morning. I probably should have expected that, but I actually need her in the field. Just in case any scouts come our way.
I wanted to talk to her about fighting and my stance on it, but Jeanne's words are still echoing in my ears. It is true I think differently from them; I do not think my perspective is wrong or bad, but that can easily be bias. This subject is so difficult because war is not a good thing. I forgot who it was attributed to, but I like the quote about it being a continuation of negotiations in a different form. In the end though, that does not change what it does to people. Or humans, rather.
Maybe that is the crux of it? How close or far from the human mentality are shipgirls? How far do Abyssals deviate from that? War changes humans with few exceptions. But Abyssals are born for war. The Abyss concurs with that if nothing else; they have the mental fortitude and mindset to walk through what humans would call hell and shrug it off.
Perhaps my plan to make domestic Abyssals was doomed from the start. Or it just takes more time than I have at the moment. I need to gather my thoughts and have a few words with Sapphire. Ionia and Orion are fine as per usual because they are 'civilian' models without direct combat applications. I guess I can not quite relate to them being born with a purpose in mind; humans only have the purpose they make for themselves after all.
It still feels wrong to even consider allowing anyone into battle. I already worry about Jeanne and Ariel.
Speaking of those two, Frostbite called earlier and called me insane for sending her two Demons as support; after apologising for doubting me when I said I would only send two ships, she called me insane again for making both together. I gather that this is overkill by the fact Frostbite only ever had one Demon, once, who fell when she was chased out of her previous stronghold. But as we all know: there is no kill like overkill.
I am sorely tempted to make more Demons right now, but I need to watch my resources. I absolutely will have my scientists look into upgrading regular Abyssals to Demon status, though. The Abyss itself seems curious about my rationale, but I feel it is a solid idea; if I build a normal Abyssal who ends up surviving a number of engagements and becomes a veteran, making them a Demon is prudent to make them stronger. Or if I want Demons but do not have the resources at a given moment. That one goes more for people not me with the resource cheat, though.
Either way, tomorrow I need to talk to Sapphire.
Day 68
It seems the Abyss was cooking up something as well. I woke up to a new line of tech, starting with Abyssal Conversion. Reading up on it, this branch of the tree covers converting an existing Abyssal into a Demon; upgrades lower resource expenditure and time spent, the base amount is the same seven days as a regular Demon.
That gave me food for thought as well. I needed a few minutes to consider the implications, but then I made up my mind. As much as I dislike it, I can not always keep my girls from danger; this conflict does not allow it. What I can not afford is going down the slippery slope to try and end it faster; the road to hell is paved with good intentions after all.
So I pumped the water out of Sapphire's favourite grotto and walked down there. She was sitting in a corner, decidedly not looking at me. She did not move when I asked her to come along, so I ordered her. As rebellious and upset as she may be, she did not refuse an order from her Princess.
I took her outside to the beach where we could look onto the sea. The endless cresting of waves has something calming to me. What I told her feels kind of cheesy in retrospect, so I am a little reluctant to relay it word for word. But what it boils down to is that I care more about her safety than any gains made in battle. That I hate the prospect of losing any of my girls.
She raised a good point with the twins, I admit. Maybe it was hasty, but Frosbite is among the people I want to keep around. I also told her that I made Demons specifically because they are that much hardier. That their roles were supposed to be the hammer to Sapphire's dagger. That I figured they could do with actual combat experience because they are the most likely to fight later. I also apologised for not considering her feelings.
It took me a while to actually say that; I do not apologise often.
It almost hurt to see that fledgling hope on her face. "So can I sally too?" she asked me then. Maybe I really underestimated how much she wanted it. I am normally someone who just goes along with others, but this time I stayed strong and told her no.
"Not for this engagement. We need to do some preparations first. Also, some ground rules that I really should have thought of before sending the twins out."
Her disappointment was immeasurable, but a reminder that this was no longer a complete no kept her attentive. So I laid down the law, which was basically just two rules.
First, do not die. Come hell or high water, do not die. Even if it means you can not destroy an enemy or you need to retreat, your own survival has the highest priority. No amount of defeated enemies is worth your own life. I think I grew more animated than normal when I talked about this to her, more fervent even. Perhaps that finally got through to her why I am so careful.
Second, protect your allies and work with them. No running solo where it can be prevented, no using each other as dispensable fodder. Demon or no Demon, this does not fly. I did not say it then, but if I actually catch any of my girls doing this, I will remove their battle privileges. I do not care if the regular Abyssals can be built on a factory line, I do not condone treating lives as numbers. This is a situation where I give them enough rope to hang themselves with; consequences are not stated beforehand because I want to see what they do without such a threat looming over them.
One could argue that an exception can be made for mindless Abyssals like drones, but sacrificing those just sounds like a gateway step toward becoming an asshole.
"Do you understand?" I asked Sapphire once I was done talking. She had a bit of an odd look and nodded quickly. Whether she actually understood is unclear, but I will see in time.
"Good. Then we will now convert you into a Submarine Demon."
That was when the severity of the situation started to slip. Sapphire sputtered in surprise, eyes wide and a little blush on her cheeks. She certainly did not expect that. I grinned at her little display.
"I already decided I won't go for legions of ships. Quality is the name of the game here. The only ones I produce from here on will be Demons, and you will join them, now that I have the resources to afford it."
She snapped to her feet and stood at attention. I would not have been surprised by a salute. "Yes, Princess! Thank you!"
She only came down from her high when we were at the spawn pool; Sapphire swam inside, only her head visible while I merrily dumped steel and other metals in. She was almost timid when speaking up again: "Actually, I had no idea this is even possible. Aren't Demons born as Demons?"
"It wasn't possible until this morning," I told her with some cheer, mainly about her dumbfounded look. "And technically, what you said is still true. From what the Abyss tells me, it's not a refit but rather a rebirth. You will still be you coming out, with all your memories and character intact." And if not, I will tear the Abyss a new one for lying to me.
That was when I finished with the rare metals and the pool began bubbling. "Now duck under, I'll see you in a week."
In retrospect, I am not sure to be flattered or worried about the blind trust she had in me and a thus far untested process. Maybe a bit of both. Sapphire vanished underneath and dissolved; it is a bit like turning from caterpillar into a butterfly.
I just realised I put my only scout out of commission for a week while my neighbour expects hostiles any day now. I am such a genius.
Day 69
Ey, nice!
Not much to say outside of that, though. I remembered to call the twins and tell them the rules as well; they took it with grace, but Ariel had an important question for me: how do their allies count into these? Should they flee a losing battle even if it throws Frostbite under the bus?
I had to think about that one for a bit. Like I wrote before, I like Frostbite. But I can not order her to follow the same rules as my girls. It is a special case, but an important one. When I called back, I told them in basically these words: "If it comes to this and Frostbite insists on making a stand, which I doubt, you drag her away kicking and screaming."
I really do doubt she would make such a choice, too. Frostbite survived a previous wipe by fleeing with her small core of veteran escorts. If she were the type to fight to the last, we would have never met. But at the same time, something may make her choose to face certain death if in a similar situation; expecting logic to prevail in highly emotional situations is an exercise in futility.
Day 71
I made certain to count the days until Ionia gets her candy privileges back. Almost forgot to tell her with tension running high. Then again, being presented with a piece of caramel once she returned got me that sweet little smile of hers; she seems to like the stuff a lot more than I anticipated. Just realising she can have it again made her all but glow.
Come to think of it, she also said she was craving sweets more as the days wore on. I researched this a bit today and now I have to worry. Sugar is not supposed to be addictive like tobacco or alcohol, but does that hold for Abyssals? If what I perceive as a little nudge to kill humans is a nearly unignorable desire for the others, would the effect of food they have no frame of reference for not be amplified as well?
I tried synthesizing meat based on what formulas I could find, but it just did not taste right after cooking. The only other sources I have on this island are fish and some tiny critters I do not want to hunt. And Abyssals, I guess. But I will unseal the poison gas research before I resort to cannibalism.
Maybe I can sell the concept of an infiltration unit to the Abyss, so I can get someone capable of going ashore to buy groceries. But that is such an incredible risk I am not sure I even want to try. At least the Abyss is interested in the idea.
Either way, I need to cut back on handing out candy until I can reliably make other foodstuffs to balance my girls' diets. At least nutrients or lack thereof are a non-issue because we are all Abyssals. Accidentally becoming a drug lord was not on my bucket list, no matter how well it would work to keep people dependent on me.
Maybe I am being paranoid and the girls just react more strongly because they never had sugar before, but I refuse to take risks here. Say no to drugs, folks!
Addendum: I just got a message that fire was opened in Frostbite's territory. I think I can faintly here the echoes outside, too. How nice that they have to show up overnight when I am trying to sleep.
Day 72
Today may have been the weirdest day yet. I have been an Abyssal for close to three months, but this was new.
First I was wide awake with worry for half the night, waiting for word from Ariel and Jeanne. Then the relief upon hearing they were fine, though Ariel took a few shells to her armour belt. Nothing penetrated and her escorts kept the enemy bombers away, thankfully. From how they told it, Frostbite's doctrine consists of grouping battleships in clusters of three with one designated leader, then surrounding them with escorts. Jeanne was her only carrier, but the sheer amount of planes she sent kept the opposing carriers busy enough.
They sunk several cruisers and destroyers, but their opponents fell back upon realising they were evenly matched. What they sent would have been a lot harder to fight without my two Demons in the mix; Frostbite still lost a number of her own girls. The escorts dutifully threw themselves in front of any torpedos that would have hit her battleships.
It was a dry recounting from Jeanne. Even now I have to appreciate that determination the Abyssals possess. I am not sure I have that myself. But then, neither am I 'expendable' nor am I devoid of personal experiences. Abyssals have not naturally evolved, maybe they just do not have innate self-preservation instincts? Or theirs are less pronounced. Princesses definitely have one if Frostbite is any indication.
The Abyss just tells me these instincts are optional; some Abyssals have them, some do not. It just becomes more likely as their power increases. So I was basically right.
None of this was the weird part, though; that came in the morning.
I woke up around my usual time despite going to bed at like four. Perks of being Abyssal, I guess. I even felt pretty rested, knowing Jeanne and Ariel were fine. So I went on my morning walk as always.
Guess what I found at the beach?
I can not describe the feelings I felt when I saw a small form curled up in the sand, just far enough to not be caught by the tide. First I thought it was one of Frostbite's who swam for safety, but I felt the truth about as soon as I registered her torn clothes and bruised body. That was a shipgirl.
It could have been a minute or ten that I just stood there, trying to figure out how this could happen. The constant nudges to dismantle the girl while she slept did not really help there; I kept losing my train of thought because of them. She was injured, but very much alive.
In retrospect, bringing Hydra to kill her at once would have been the prudent thing to do. Letting her live is inefficient, not to mention dangerous. Her presence will constantly rile up my girls. If she returns to her home base, humans will learn about me.
But looking down at her small form in the sand, I could not do it. Maybe part of it was spite at the Abyss telling me what to do. Either way, I picked her up and carried her inside instead. She was even smaller than I thought at first, not tiny like a submarine but definitely petite. Maybe she could have gone as a light cruiser, but I pegged her as a destroyer. I was right on that, by the way.
My mind was awhirl at the time. I did not even think about the possible repercussions when I put her in the repair bath. She must have been exhausted, not waking from either being jostled around or the warm water. The strips of cloth that were left of her rigging faded as well.
The reality of my situation hit me at that point. I sat with my feet dipped in the water for at least an hour, trying to decide what to actually do with this girl. I have no holding cells here, I do not really want to keep any prisoners, and letting her go back sends a torpedo into my operational security. Killing her was not an option either, even if I thought long and hard whether maybe it should be.
Then she woke up. After groaning and sinking deeper into the bath, she muttered something in Japanese; that was my first sign it would get even more difficult: I do not speak Japanese. Just German, English, and Abyssal via racial memories. Moreover, this girl started to look familiar.
It was a weird moment, really. When she opened her eyes to figure out who found and recovered her, we just stared at each other for a few long seconds. Then she rubbed her eyes, blinked, looked around, then stared hard at the water as if trying to solve the world's greatest mystery.
Then she screamed. It was high-pitched, with some screeching involved as well. After that it was scrambling around the room and as far away from me as possible, spreading water on the smooth floor in the process. I am not sure what she thought to achieve hiding in the corner opposite to the door, but panic makes everyone do stupid things.
She babbled questions in Japanese, I got that much from her tone. The few things I picked up through pop culture were nowhere near enough to figure them out, especially not in real-time. I had to scrounge together this knowledge to talk to her; at least she paid attention when I cleared my throat. And what I said at least cut through her panic, even if it was basically "I no Japanese".
Maybe it was the giant Abyssal talking to her in badly accented Japanese; I sounded mighty stupid there. Stupid enough to replace her panic with confusion.
We did not get much talking done after that, beyond that she speaks English and that her name is Akatsuki. At which point I realised why I knew her in particular; her hair is more black than the purple I recall and the sailour outfit was already in tatters then.
She is understandably paranoid, but also still weak. With my Demons staying with Frostbite in case of a second attack, I tabled the issue. There is still a lot to figure out and I need sleep, so I will continue this in tomorrow's log. Good night.
):
