Dedicated to Aule and my undying annoyance over getting the idea planted into my head and having to spend an hour writing this "parody song with swtiched lyrics" cliche. Again.
(Gretel)
There! Right There!
Look at those plaits, that tinted skin
Look at the killer shape she's in
Look at that stylishly pointy hat
Oh please she's gay, totally gay
(Cadaeth)
I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate the totally straight associate.
This gal's not gay, I say not gay
(All)
That is the dragon in the room
Well, is it bigoted to assume
that a woman with a huge sword
is automatically magically fay?
(Cadaeth)
But look at her coiffed and crispy locks
(Gretel)
Look at her wide and muscular arms
(Cadaeth)
There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seeing
(Gretel)
What are we seeing?
(Cadaeth)
Is she gay?
(Gretel)
Of course she's gay
(Cadaeth)
Or Ranaldian?
(All)
ohhhhhh
Gay or Ranaldian?
It is hard to guarantee
Is she gay or Ranaldian?
(Heidi)
Well, don't you look at me
(Roswita)
You see they bring their lads up different
Behind the Colleges' locked doors
They learn peculiar things
(All)
With wooden staves and shapeless robes!
Gay or a night prowler?
The answer could take years!
They will say things like "Meine Liebe"
while they stab you in both sides!
(Gretel)
Oh please!
(All)
Gay or Ranaldian?
So many shades of Gray
(Max)
Depending on the time of day
Bretonnians go either way
(All)
Is she gay or Ranaldian?
or-
(Gretel)
There! Right There!
Look at that smug and knowing smirk
Seen it on every Gray at work
That is a metro-hetro jerk
That gal's not gay, I say no way
(All)
That is the dragon in the room
Well is it bigoted to presume
that an SV protagonist
(Gretel)
Is automatically, radically
(Cadaeth)
Ironically, chronically
(Cython)
Scurtinly, certainly
(Roswita)
Genetically, netically
(All)
Gay!
Officially Gay!
Officially Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay!
Dammit
Gay or Ranaldian?
(Cadaeth)
So shifty and two-faced
(All)
Is she gay or Ranaldian?
(Cadaeth)
Let's ask the Karak Vlag!
(Roswita)
But they bring their lads up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a magic curse
(All)
If she wears a suit or wields a sword
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code
(Max)
Yet her shadow is so weird
but her shoes are steely toed!
(All)
Huh
Gay or Ranaldian?
So many shades of Gray
(Egrimm)
But if she turns out straight
I have a tome with eldritch lore
(All)
Is she gay or Ranaldian?
Gay or Ranaldian?
Gay or Rana-
(Johann)
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this gal
I have an idea I'd like to try
(Cadaeth)
The floor is yours
(Johann)
So Ms. Weber...
This alleged project with Waystones
has been going on for...?
(Mathilde)
4 years
(Johann)
And your first name again is...?
(Mathilde)
Mathilde
(Johann)
And your girlfriend's name is...?
(Mathilde)
Panoramia
*Everyone waits for three seconds, but Mathilde doesn't retract her statement and doesn't seem to quite understand what the fuss is about.*
Thus the song ends, without everyone realizing that Mathilde is both gay and Ranaldian.