This is the voting phase for the 2024 User Choice Awards. Look at the thread titles below to select Award categories to vote in, and help your favourite threads be crowned as UCA champions!
Users' Choice Awards Voting - Best Original Work
- Thread starter Arcus
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Hello!
Voting for Best Original Work opens , and will remain open until . For those of you who are looking for more information on the Users' Choice Awards generally, you can find it in this thread!
In short, the Users' Choice Awards are about celebrating the best and most beloved quests, stories, and other creative wonderfulness on SV, as decided by SV users. The Awards take place in two phases. During the Nomination Phase, almost four hundred nominations were made across nine categories. These have been narrowed down to only five* in each category.
Now, in the Voting Phase, you get to vote to see which is crowned as champion!
*(In the event of multiple nominees tying, then the tied nominees will all go through to voting so long as the total number of nominees does not exceed ten. In this case tied or excess nominees will not be counted. We will adjudicate this so that no tied nominees are ever privileged any other tied nominees, and nominees with the lowest number of votes are always discounted first.)
Please try to take the time to read the nominees before voting. Each of them had to fight really hard to get here, and they are worth giving a chance!
At , the poll will be closed, and the thread with the highest number of votes will be the winner!
In the event of a tie, we will have joint winners.
This thread will serve as a discussion thread for the voting.
Please feel free to discuss the threads you are voting for, and why. Whether it's an impassioned argument for why people should vote for your favourite work, or just some great commentary and analysis, we love to see it, and this is the place for it!
Voting for Best Original Work opens , and will remain open until . For those of you who are looking for more information on the Users' Choice Awards generally, you can find it in this thread!
In short, the Users' Choice Awards are about celebrating the best and most beloved quests, stories, and other creative wonderfulness on SV, as decided by SV users. The Awards take place in two phases. During the Nomination Phase, almost four hundred nominations were made across nine categories. These have been narrowed down to only five* in each category.
Now, in the Voting Phase, you get to vote to see which is crowned as champion!
*(In the event of multiple nominees tying, then the tied nominees will all go through to voting so long as the total number of nominees does not exceed ten. In this case tied or excess nominees will not be counted. We will adjudicate this so that no tied nominees are ever privileged any other tied nominees, and nominees with the lowest number of votes are always discounted first.)
How Voting Works
Voting will be done via the poll you see right at the top of this thread. You can vote for as many or as few of the nominees as you like, and you can also change your vote if you wish, up until the close of voting. It's just that simple!Please try to take the time to read the nominees before voting. Each of them had to fight really hard to get here, and they are worth giving a chance!
At , the poll will be closed, and the thread with the highest number of votes will be the winner!
In the event of a tie, we will have joint winners.
Nominees
And now, without further ado, the User Choice Awards Nominee for Best Original Work:Article:
Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion, by @Winged_One
Project Prometheus (Original Setting Superhero Quest), by @Bitterman
ELDRITCH VOIDTUBER VIRIDIAN S. LAUGHTER HUNTING BLOOD-STREAM | BLUE HILLS APARTMENT COMPLEX FULL WALKTHROUGH, by @Omicron
Castles of Steel - Lesbians Good, Imperialism Bad, by @open_sketch & @Artificial Girl
Fluid Pestilence (Sci-Fi, LitRPG), by @E.I.G.
This thread will serve as a discussion thread for the voting.
Please feel free to discuss the threads you are voting for, and why. Whether it's an impassioned argument for why people should vote for your favourite work, or just some great commentary and analysis, we love to see it, and this is the place for it!
Last edited:
Should be fixed now!
E.I.G.
Robo-Bird
- Pronouns
- It/They
Fluid Pestilence is my first attempt at an entirely original work, and is exploring my own take on a story based around RPG style mechanics.
I started with a set of mechanics I wanted to explore, along with a number of plot elements that I wanted to tackle from the genre of "stories about people playing games".
For starters, if you have a game where you feel your ingame body due to sufficiently advanced tech, then what is that like when it has a really open character creator?
How does the person who wants to try being a slime snake like it, and what is that like for them?
What limitations and complications would that sort of person put up with in order to have that body?
From there things get more complicated, in ways I don't want to spoil here, and I think I managed an interesting mix of topics over the two arcs that have been written so far. Both of the current arcs are complete, but the story itself is currently on a pause while I finish my major fanfiction project (I have about four chapters of that left to write) with the intent to restart work on Fluid Pestilence at the start of next year.
I hope that everyone who reads as a result of this event has a good time with it, and am happy enough just to have been nominated.
I think the only other one here I have read so far is "Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion". It was a fairly interesting story as far as I read it, although not quite something I stuck with.
Probably need to check out the rest before the end, just to see what else we have.
I started with a set of mechanics I wanted to explore, along with a number of plot elements that I wanted to tackle from the genre of "stories about people playing games".
For starters, if you have a game where you feel your ingame body due to sufficiently advanced tech, then what is that like when it has a really open character creator?
How does the person who wants to try being a slime snake like it, and what is that like for them?
What limitations and complications would that sort of person put up with in order to have that body?
From there things get more complicated, in ways I don't want to spoil here, and I think I managed an interesting mix of topics over the two arcs that have been written so far. Both of the current arcs are complete, but the story itself is currently on a pause while I finish my major fanfiction project (I have about four chapters of that left to write) with the intent to restart work on Fluid Pestilence at the start of next year.
I hope that everyone who reads as a result of this event has a good time with it, and am happy enough just to have been nominated.
I think the only other one here I have read so far is "Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion". It was a fairly interesting story as far as I read it, although not quite something I stuck with.
Probably need to check out the rest before the end, just to see what else we have.
Kermie
Surprisingly Not A Frog
- Location
- Somewhere On The Planet
- Pronouns
- He/She/They
I'd like to shill out Project Prometheus one more time, this time on a thread where it's more likely to win. Ahem…
I'd like everybody to consider voting for Project Prometheus. It has great prose and world building, and all the other reasons why you should are here. To quote my past self:
And you know what? I'm going to put forth one more opinion of mine about this quest that you might not like but I stand by.
That's right, I'm going to challenge God. This quest is better than Worm and I stand by that opinion. And if you don't agree with me, how about you read until the end of the first issue?
I'd like everybody to consider voting for Project Prometheus. It has great prose and world building, and all the other reasons why you should are here. To quote my past self:
And you know what? I'm going to put forth one more opinion of mine about this quest that you might not like but I stand by.
That's right, I'm going to challenge God. This quest is better than Worm and I stand by that opinion. And if you don't agree with me, how about you read until the end of the first issue?
Last edited:
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hey, everyone! I'm Bitterman, and I write Project Prometheus. I didn't want to write another blurb, so I copied one from another thread and posted it verbatim expect this part. I like character creation votes, so I thought, "Let's make a quest that's just that and also really, really sad."
I keep trying to lore-dump on my readers, but the dice won't let me. Check it out if you like superheroes, agonizing examinations of grief, Dr. Mammoth Ibis, or a PC that everyone is lowkey down bad for both in and out of character!
I keep trying to lore-dump on my readers, but the dice won't let me. Check it out if you like superheroes, agonizing examinations of grief, Dr. Mammoth Ibis, or a PC that everyone is lowkey down bad for both in and out of character!
A nice mix of works that are new to me and works that I know and am fond of made it this time, thanks to ties.
I am tentatively voting for FFFF. Its chapter from today had a great little snippet showing off its delightful mix of serious military thriller and fun queer sci-fi.
I am tentatively voting for FFFF. Its chapter from today had a great little snippet showing off its delightful mix of serious military thriller and fun queer sci-fi.
(In case it's confusing. 'Brood' here refers not to the mold monster swarm, but to the mercenary-polycule of transhuman dog-women)
- Pronouns
- she/her
I haven't read and can't honestly vote for FFFF but it's definitely going on my to-read list. ELDRITCH VOIDTUBER was a great time though!
Winged_One
Head Engineer of ATHENA
- Location
- Low Earth Orbit
Gossip and rumor flickered through the air like a flock of hummingbirds as the audience filed into the small studio theater. Some came here knowing; others, just walked in from the street - but all of them were excited for the day's events.
Even though the room had seats for only about a hundred people, more filed in, standing next to the walls and sitting down in the walkways. The overhead lights shut once everyone was seated, projectors bringing the scene into focus. A woman, wearing a suit, walked out in front of the curtain, the words "SUFFICIENT VELOCITY" projected onto it behind her back.
"Greetings!" she said, bowing to the audience. "And I once again welcome you to the annual Sufficient Velocity User Choice Awards! You can call me the interviewer. Over the past week, I've presented to you every other nominee, and today, it's time for the last one."
The interviewer gestured to the curtain behind her. "And now, without further ado, I present to you - Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion!"
The curtain began to rise, revealing a cluttered scene.
A wooden tripod taller than a human being took up the left side, each leg as thick as a tree trunk, with a winch at the top and a large open crate suspended from it, full to the brim with glassware. Around it, other tools were set - shovels, rakes and axes, measuring ropes and a crude dioptra, together with blueprints and diagrams, arranged on different easels.
On the right side stood an enormous glass globe, easily three meters in diameter. It was filled up halfway with dirt, tall grass and flowers growing out of it, and in the exact middle of it lay a pile of treasure - gold and gems, and thirty different, beautifully decorated swords, all piled up without any rhyme or reason. Around the glass globe were a dozen pots, filled with bean stalks, berry bushes and even a small apple tree, as well as ten cages of rabbits.
The middle of the scene was occupied by three mysterious square curtains, like pillars supporting the ceiling.
"Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion has everything a curious mind desires!" the interviewer continued, gesturing around the scene. "It has engineering on the brink of death, like in The Martian! It has scams, like in Better Call Saul! It has adventure! Philosophy! Mindgames! But of course, no novel is complete without the characters - and it's time to introduce you to the cast."
Stepping over to the leftmost of the three curtains, the interviewer clapped her hands. The curtain rose, revealing a beautiful woman sitting in front of a small desk. She was wearing long, scarlet silk robes, with a sword at her waist. Her long black hair fell all the way down to the ground, secured at the top with a pair of pins, framing the sharp features of her annoyed face, glaring up at the interviewer.
"Please welcome our plucky protagonist," the interviewer said, "Qian Shanyi!"
Some scattered applause resounded from the audience.
"You again," Qian Shanyi deadpanned, glancing around the room. "What in Netherworld's name is this about?"
"This woman had scammed more people than some of you have ever met," the interviewer said, ignoring Qian Shanyi entirely. "An unrepentant gambler and trickster, she lies as she breathes - all the while searching for justice and fairness in a world that was built on slaughter!"
"I resent the unproven accusations," Qian Shanyi said. Her hands and feet were handcuffed together by a steel cable, descending into the floor, and she had to bend down to scratch her nose. "Am I to simply sit here while you sing me compliments? These curtains of yours are soundproof, you know. I'd appreciate an introduction."
The interviewer finally glanced at her. "Those chains would electrocute you if you try to tear the cable, so please be careful."
Qian Shanyi glared back. "Thank you, I already noticed."
"And of course they lock the flow of your spiritual energy inside your body. We wouldn't want you to escape."
"Of course not. Will you answer my question?"
"No," the interviewer said, stepping over to the second curtain. "Yet despite Qian Shanyi's ambitions, rising up to the peak of cultivation had always remained out of her reach - until she met our second cast member! Some would say he is the luckiest man in the world, for every manner of fortunate coincidence had fallen into his grasp - yet for all of that, he cannot find peace! Please welcome, the one, the only, Wang Yonghao!"
The second curtain rose as well, revealing a young man in white silk robes, chained to an identical desk. He was stuffing his mouth with cookies from a plate in front of him, and choked, trying to swallow them all at once when he saw the audience.
"Where are we?" Wang Yonghao said, coughing up crumbs, and glancing at Qian Shanyi in a panic. "This is different from last time."
"Your guess is as good as mine," Qian Shanyi grumbled. "But it seems this woman is continuing to pretend we are characters in some novel. She just called you a cast member."
"Characters?"
"And finally, the last member of our cast -" the interviewer continued, stepping over to the third curtain. "kitsune on the run, who had stepped onto the path of cultivation! It is, of course, Linghui Mei!"
The curtain rose, revealing a short-haired young woman, with fox ears on top of her head and a pair of long tails swishing behind her. Seeing the audience, she screamed in terror, covering up her ears with both hands. Because of the cuffs, she had to bow all the way to the table to do it.
"Deep breaths Mei," Qian Shanyi said quietly. ""
"I can't - I can't change," Linghui Mei said, her teeth chattering. "Why can't I change?!"
"That's probably the handcuffs. As for the people, it's that damnable interviewer again."
"How could you do this to me?" Linghui Mei screamed at the interviewer. "They've seen me now - oh Heaven's mercy, is this just your sick prelude to an execution?"
"I told you she was evil," Qian Shanyi said grimly. "This was all just a matter of time. We really should get rid of her before she causes any more trouble."
"I mean… They don't seem aggressive?" Wang Yonghao said. "They aren't from our world. Maybe for them, kitsune doesn't have the same meaning?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, readers and authors," the interviewer continued, ignoring all three, "please check out the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion! And once you do, should you like it, vote for it for the User Choice Awards!" Leaning forwards conspiratorially, the interviewer lowered her voice. "But just today, we have decided to grant everyone in this room a unique opportunity!"
She stepped over to the side of the stage, and rolled in an enormous and colorful lottery wheel next to Qian Shanyi. At the top of it was written "WANG YONGHAO'S WHEEL OF PAIN", with the word "pain" crossed out and "luck" scribbled hurriedly over the top.
"Just this once, if you vote for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion, you could also choose to replace one of the options on his wheel of luck!***" the interviewer said, gesturing to the wheel. "If you'd like to make his life easier, you can! Or, if you'd like to make it that much harder - just come up with an option of your own, and we'll add it to the wheel!"
"What?!" Wang Yonghao cried, craning his neck around to look. "No, no, no, don't you dare do that!"
"I told you she was evil," Qian Shanyi said, raising her voice.
"Oh, it seems that we have some first votes already coming in!" the interviewer said excitedly. One of the rare green sectors on the wheel winked out, replaced by a red one. "What does this say - ooh, 'cursed to have his head fall off every morning, like a dullahan'! How exciting!"
Wang Yonghao's eyes widened. "This can't be happening," he said, beginning to panic as well. "This cannot be happening!"
"Calm yourself. Panic never helps," Qian Shanyi said. She looked at the lottery wheel, where different sectors began to wink from one color to another. "Can we vote as well?"
"You aren't the audience," the interviewer said dismissively.
"You said 'everyone in this room'. We are in the room, correct?"
The interviewer paused, frowned, and took out a phone. After a hushed conversation, she turned back to the three. "Fine," she said. "You can vote as well. But nothing crazy."
"Oh thank Heavens, Shanyi," Wang Yonghao breathed out. "I vote to get rid of that head falling off thing. Replace it with… us getting a free meal in the best restaurant."
The option on the board winked out again, replaced with a green one. Wang Yonghao breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Alright," Qian Shanyi said, "I have another request. Let us spin this wheel once, and get whatever it picks immediately."
The interviewer looked at Qian Shanyi curiously. "And why should I?"
"It's the least you owe us after kidnapping us so many times," Qian Shanyi said with a sigh. She nodded towards the wheel. "Looking at it. It's going to land on red anyways. But at least it could give us some hope, right?"
"Very well," the interviewer laughed. "One spin."
"Alright then," Qian Shanyi said, reaching for the wheel. "Before I spin it, I want to vote for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion, and replace this option -" she tapped on one of the wheel's sectors. "- with Yonghao being cursed to spit out a spirit stone the size of his fist whenever he coughs."
"What?!" Wang Yonghao cried. "Shanyi, don't you dare!"
"Yonghao, just trust me. Do you realise how wealthy we'd be this way?"
"No! You greedy witch, do you really only value me for my luck?!"
"Look, I have a plan, it's fine."
"I hate your plans!"
"You don't get sick in the first place, why are you worried?"
"Your vote has come though!" the interviewer announced.
Qian Shanyi reached for the wheel, but just before she could spin it, her option winked out, overwritten with another. She glared at the wheel, hatred filling her eyes.
"Don't worry Yonghao, I also voted for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion and changed it back!" one of the people in the audience called out. Qian Shanyi turned her hateful glare towards them.
"Thank you, whomever you are!" Wang Yonghao called back, sagging in his seat once again. "I can't believe Shanyi would betray me like this."
"I also would like to vote for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion," Linghui Mei suddenly said at his side. "With the same option as my master."
"What?!"
"I trust her."
A single tear rolled down Wang Yonghao's cheeks.
"At least someone appreciates me here," Qian Shanyi said, and spun the wheel before the option could change again.
The wheel spun a three quarters of a turn, and then stopped suddenly, a needle Qian Shanyi had stabbed into her option lodging itself against the selection arrow. The wheel flashed with purple light, before an equally purple glow had descended upon Wang Yonghao, and vanished.
"Would you look at that," Qian Shanyi said neutrally. "What great luck we have - it seems I won. Yonghao, quickly, cough up a spirit stone. We'll break the handcuffs with it."
"I should have known you'd try something." The interviewer sighed, raising the phone to her ear. "I'll get it cancelled right away."
Wang Yonghao glared at Qian Shanyi, but coughed, and then choked, as a giant, pale blue spirit stone forced itself out of his throat. It dropped to the ground just below his feet.
"I really hate your plans," he said with tears in his eyes.
"You can hate me later," Qian Shanyi said. "Mei! Stab one of your spiritual tails into that stone and it should blow the fuck up."
"No, stop -" Wang Yonghao said, turning to face Linghui Mei, but before he could finish, an explosion rocked the theatre scene. The interviewer was tossed away into the audience, while the three protagonists were thrown back into the rest of the clutter of the scene - the cables connecting their handcuffs to their feet tearing themselves out of the floor. Qian Shanyi had managed to spin herself in the air and land on her feet, whereas Wang Yonghao had landed in a crumpled heap at her feet.
"I really, really hate your plans," Wang Yonghao said, gritting his teeth as he started to get up.
"Wait just a moment," Qian Shanyi said, unsheathing her sword, and with two quick strikes, cut the handcuffs of Wang Yonghao and Linghui Mei. The two spasmed from the electric shock, but quickly recovered. "Help me with mine," Qian Shanyi said calmly, fixing her hair that was ruffled by the explosion, and sitting down on the floor. "I can't cut them myself without dropping my sword from the shock."
Wang Yonghao glared at Qian Shanyi again, but took out his sword. A moment later, both cultivators were free, Linghui Mei transforming into a two-tailed fox right by their side.
"What now?" Linghui Mei said.
"Now? This entire Heavens-damned studio is coming down," Qian Shanyi said grimly. Turning to the audience, she gestured with her sword. "You came here to see a show? We'll give you a show to remember. A show of danger and excitement, of bombs and terrible violence. Just keep voting for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion so that Yonghao can keep coughing up explosives, and it will go on."
***Due to technical problems caused by the explosion, the votes on Wang Yonghao's luck would not be counted, and all the previous ones will be annulled. Thank you for your consideration
Even though the room had seats for only about a hundred people, more filed in, standing next to the walls and sitting down in the walkways. The overhead lights shut once everyone was seated, projectors bringing the scene into focus. A woman, wearing a suit, walked out in front of the curtain, the words "SUFFICIENT VELOCITY" projected onto it behind her back.
"Greetings!" she said, bowing to the audience. "And I once again welcome you to the annual Sufficient Velocity User Choice Awards! You can call me the interviewer. Over the past week, I've presented to you every other nominee, and today, it's time for the last one."
The interviewer gestured to the curtain behind her. "And now, without further ado, I present to you - Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion!"
The curtain began to rise, revealing a cluttered scene.
A wooden tripod taller than a human being took up the left side, each leg as thick as a tree trunk, with a winch at the top and a large open crate suspended from it, full to the brim with glassware. Around it, other tools were set - shovels, rakes and axes, measuring ropes and a crude dioptra, together with blueprints and diagrams, arranged on different easels.
On the right side stood an enormous glass globe, easily three meters in diameter. It was filled up halfway with dirt, tall grass and flowers growing out of it, and in the exact middle of it lay a pile of treasure - gold and gems, and thirty different, beautifully decorated swords, all piled up without any rhyme or reason. Around the glass globe were a dozen pots, filled with bean stalks, berry bushes and even a small apple tree, as well as ten cages of rabbits.
The middle of the scene was occupied by three mysterious square curtains, like pillars supporting the ceiling.
"Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion has everything a curious mind desires!" the interviewer continued, gesturing around the scene. "It has engineering on the brink of death, like in The Martian! It has scams, like in Better Call Saul! It has adventure! Philosophy! Mindgames! But of course, no novel is complete without the characters - and it's time to introduce you to the cast."
Stepping over to the leftmost of the three curtains, the interviewer clapped her hands. The curtain rose, revealing a beautiful woman sitting in front of a small desk. She was wearing long, scarlet silk robes, with a sword at her waist. Her long black hair fell all the way down to the ground, secured at the top with a pair of pins, framing the sharp features of her annoyed face, glaring up at the interviewer.
"Please welcome our plucky protagonist," the interviewer said, "Qian Shanyi!"
Some scattered applause resounded from the audience.
"You again," Qian Shanyi deadpanned, glancing around the room. "What in Netherworld's name is this about?"
"This woman had scammed more people than some of you have ever met," the interviewer said, ignoring Qian Shanyi entirely. "An unrepentant gambler and trickster, she lies as she breathes - all the while searching for justice and fairness in a world that was built on slaughter!"
"I resent the unproven accusations," Qian Shanyi said. Her hands and feet were handcuffed together by a steel cable, descending into the floor, and she had to bend down to scratch her nose. "Am I to simply sit here while you sing me compliments? These curtains of yours are soundproof, you know. I'd appreciate an introduction."
The interviewer finally glanced at her. "Those chains would electrocute you if you try to tear the cable, so please be careful."
Qian Shanyi glared back. "Thank you, I already noticed."
"And of course they lock the flow of your spiritual energy inside your body. We wouldn't want you to escape."
"Of course not. Will you answer my question?"
"No," the interviewer said, stepping over to the second curtain. "Yet despite Qian Shanyi's ambitions, rising up to the peak of cultivation had always remained out of her reach - until she met our second cast member! Some would say he is the luckiest man in the world, for every manner of fortunate coincidence had fallen into his grasp - yet for all of that, he cannot find peace! Please welcome, the one, the only, Wang Yonghao!"
The second curtain rose as well, revealing a young man in white silk robes, chained to an identical desk. He was stuffing his mouth with cookies from a plate in front of him, and choked, trying to swallow them all at once when he saw the audience.
"Where are we?" Wang Yonghao said, coughing up crumbs, and glancing at Qian Shanyi in a panic. "This is different from last time."
"Your guess is as good as mine," Qian Shanyi grumbled. "But it seems this woman is continuing to pretend we are characters in some novel. She just called you a cast member."
"Characters?"
"And finally, the last member of our cast -" the interviewer continued, stepping over to the third curtain. "kitsune on the run, who had stepped onto the path of cultivation! It is, of course, Linghui Mei!"
The curtain rose, revealing a short-haired young woman, with fox ears on top of her head and a pair of long tails swishing behind her. Seeing the audience, she screamed in terror, covering up her ears with both hands. Because of the cuffs, she had to bow all the way to the table to do it.
"Deep breaths Mei," Qian Shanyi said quietly. ""
"I can't - I can't change," Linghui Mei said, her teeth chattering. "Why can't I change?!"
"That's probably the handcuffs. As for the people, it's that damnable interviewer again."
"How could you do this to me?" Linghui Mei screamed at the interviewer. "They've seen me now - oh Heaven's mercy, is this just your sick prelude to an execution?"
"I told you she was evil," Qian Shanyi said grimly. "This was all just a matter of time. We really should get rid of her before she causes any more trouble."
"I mean… They don't seem aggressive?" Wang Yonghao said. "They aren't from our world. Maybe for them, kitsune doesn't have the same meaning?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, readers and authors," the interviewer continued, ignoring all three, "please check out the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion! And once you do, should you like it, vote for it for the User Choice Awards!" Leaning forwards conspiratorially, the interviewer lowered her voice. "But just today, we have decided to grant everyone in this room a unique opportunity!"
She stepped over to the side of the stage, and rolled in an enormous and colorful lottery wheel next to Qian Shanyi. At the top of it was written "WANG YONGHAO'S WHEEL OF PAIN", with the word "pain" crossed out and "luck" scribbled hurriedly over the top.
"Just this once, if you vote for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion, you could also choose to replace one of the options on his wheel of luck!***" the interviewer said, gesturing to the wheel. "If you'd like to make his life easier, you can! Or, if you'd like to make it that much harder - just come up with an option of your own, and we'll add it to the wheel!"
"What?!" Wang Yonghao cried, craning his neck around to look. "No, no, no, don't you dare do that!"
"I told you she was evil," Qian Shanyi said, raising her voice.
"Oh, it seems that we have some first votes already coming in!" the interviewer said excitedly. One of the rare green sectors on the wheel winked out, replaced by a red one. "What does this say - ooh, 'cursed to have his head fall off every morning, like a dullahan'! How exciting!"
Wang Yonghao's eyes widened. "This can't be happening," he said, beginning to panic as well. "This cannot be happening!"
"Calm yourself. Panic never helps," Qian Shanyi said. She looked at the lottery wheel, where different sectors began to wink from one color to another. "Can we vote as well?"
"You aren't the audience," the interviewer said dismissively.
"You said 'everyone in this room'. We are in the room, correct?"
The interviewer paused, frowned, and took out a phone. After a hushed conversation, she turned back to the three. "Fine," she said. "You can vote as well. But nothing crazy."
"Oh thank Heavens, Shanyi," Wang Yonghao breathed out. "I vote to get rid of that head falling off thing. Replace it with… us getting a free meal in the best restaurant."
The option on the board winked out again, replaced with a green one. Wang Yonghao breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Alright," Qian Shanyi said, "I have another request. Let us spin this wheel once, and get whatever it picks immediately."
The interviewer looked at Qian Shanyi curiously. "And why should I?"
"It's the least you owe us after kidnapping us so many times," Qian Shanyi said with a sigh. She nodded towards the wheel. "Looking at it. It's going to land on red anyways. But at least it could give us some hope, right?"
"Very well," the interviewer laughed. "One spin."
"Alright then," Qian Shanyi said, reaching for the wheel. "Before I spin it, I want to vote for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion, and replace this option -" she tapped on one of the wheel's sectors. "- with Yonghao being cursed to spit out a spirit stone the size of his fist whenever he coughs."
"What?!" Wang Yonghao cried. "Shanyi, don't you dare!"
"Yonghao, just trust me. Do you realise how wealthy we'd be this way?"
"No! You greedy witch, do you really only value me for my luck?!"
"Look, I have a plan, it's fine."
"I hate your plans!"
"You don't get sick in the first place, why are you worried?"
"Your vote has come though!" the interviewer announced.
Qian Shanyi reached for the wheel, but just before she could spin it, her option winked out, overwritten with another. She glared at the wheel, hatred filling her eyes.
"Don't worry Yonghao, I also voted for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion and changed it back!" one of the people in the audience called out. Qian Shanyi turned her hateful glare towards them.
"Thank you, whomever you are!" Wang Yonghao called back, sagging in his seat once again. "I can't believe Shanyi would betray me like this."
"I also would like to vote for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion," Linghui Mei suddenly said at his side. "With the same option as my master."
"What?!"
"I trust her."
A single tear rolled down Wang Yonghao's cheeks.
"At least someone appreciates me here," Qian Shanyi said, and spun the wheel before the option could change again.
The wheel spun a three quarters of a turn, and then stopped suddenly, a needle Qian Shanyi had stabbed into her option lodging itself against the selection arrow. The wheel flashed with purple light, before an equally purple glow had descended upon Wang Yonghao, and vanished.
"Would you look at that," Qian Shanyi said neutrally. "What great luck we have - it seems I won. Yonghao, quickly, cough up a spirit stone. We'll break the handcuffs with it."
"I should have known you'd try something." The interviewer sighed, raising the phone to her ear. "I'll get it cancelled right away."
Wang Yonghao glared at Qian Shanyi, but coughed, and then choked, as a giant, pale blue spirit stone forced itself out of his throat. It dropped to the ground just below his feet.
"I really hate your plans," he said with tears in his eyes.
"You can hate me later," Qian Shanyi said. "Mei! Stab one of your spiritual tails into that stone and it should blow the fuck up."
"No, stop -" Wang Yonghao said, turning to face Linghui Mei, but before he could finish, an explosion rocked the theatre scene. The interviewer was tossed away into the audience, while the three protagonists were thrown back into the rest of the clutter of the scene - the cables connecting their handcuffs to their feet tearing themselves out of the floor. Qian Shanyi had managed to spin herself in the air and land on her feet, whereas Wang Yonghao had landed in a crumpled heap at her feet.
"I really, really hate your plans," Wang Yonghao said, gritting his teeth as he started to get up.
"Wait just a moment," Qian Shanyi said, unsheathing her sword, and with two quick strikes, cut the handcuffs of Wang Yonghao and Linghui Mei. The two spasmed from the electric shock, but quickly recovered. "Help me with mine," Qian Shanyi said calmly, fixing her hair that was ruffled by the explosion, and sitting down on the floor. "I can't cut them myself without dropping my sword from the shock."
Wang Yonghao glared at Qian Shanyi again, but took out his sword. A moment later, both cultivators were free, Linghui Mei transforming into a two-tailed fox right by their side.
"What now?" Linghui Mei said.
"Now? This entire Heavens-damned studio is coming down," Qian Shanyi said grimly. Turning to the audience, she gestured with her sword. "You came here to see a show? We'll give you a show to remember. A show of danger and excitement, of bombs and terrible violence. Just keep voting for the Reach Heaven Via Feng Shui Engineering, Drug Trade And Tax Evasion so that Yonghao can keep coughing up explosives, and it will go on."
***Due to technical problems caused by the explosion, the votes on Wang Yonghao's luck would not be counted, and all the previous ones will be annulled. Thank you for your consideration