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Unhinged Prompt-Based Cosmology

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D

Donald Darf

I wanna try making a mythos that sounds like something a random screaming dude at the subway wearing a dirty mickey mouse mask that has the eyes X'ed out with red paint and wielding a ancient scimitar stolen from a museum would yell

Basically give me give me a question, add a suggestion for something involved in the answer (Make sure its not too lengthy and detailed) and then I'll try to form a consistent modern mythology with all the parts given
You can also ask me to explain elements of the mythology itself if you want to expand upon something
Be careful not to give me a prompt that'll result in something that only contradicts the other explanations I've made

Example

Question: Why is there so much suffering on earth?
Suggestion: It involves creatures wearing armour and barbed wires

Then I'll write something like

"The Barbmen Of Sakezzi are the oldest army, filled with inexplicable sadomasochism of eldritch proportions, born screaming something about genital mutilation from the spilled blood of a wound in the world, they wear their armour into battle to laugh at the foes who fail to penetrate the metaphysical blood iron it was forged from and wrap barbed wire around and within the armour, just so they can feel that wonderful sting, a pair of the most powerful Barbmen had a duel on earth, their blood soaked into the primordial ooze as they laughed and tore eachother to shreds, a bit of their essence being infused into the first living beings, which is why pain is a frequent part of life, theres also the distant war chants they scream regularly, reverberating through existence, heard by the heart if not by the ears, they aren't the source of all malice but damn do they encourage it"
(Apocrypha^)
 
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The Exiled Ones & The Law Of Denial
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    • LunaMoth said:
    Question: Why doesn't magic exist.
    Answer: the answer should have something to do with DMT elves
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    "The Abyss Of Space is a living creature, sorta, I don't know if it can think but it can act in response to stuff, magic used to be real but it got banned and the perpetrators who caused this, the Elves, were banished into the realm of the hypothetical and insubstantial to spend eternity as protean thought-stuff, they commited a grave offense against the Abyss with their magic and thus it is incredibly difficult for most to perceive and remember definite proof of things which do not follow the baseline foundations of physics, for magic legally doesn't exist in the Abyss' eyes

    The Elves try to communicate with us through their realm, through dreams, narcotics induced mental ascension, and various other forms of mind expanding, desperate for any sort of connection with the physical plane, they even used their powerful magical influence to cause some creatures to evolve with DMT in their bodies, thus giving humans more opportunities to interact with the Exiles"
     
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    • There, less of a birth of humanity explanation and more of a explanation on why magic doesn't "Exist"
    By the way, imagine the hypothetical subway dude is explaining all this to you
     
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    Actually, the Exiled Elves trying to force their way into having a connection with the physical world could have some interesting implications in this version of Earth

    A faction of Exiled Elves try to make themselves prominent in folklore and such, manipulating folks into making stories about fairies to be part of the lives of countless generations, eventually this split off into the ones that manipulated Tolkien into adding elves to the Middle Earth setting

    The sheer sucess of that probably resulted in many more splinter factions
    The ones manipulating other fantasy writers to put elves into their stories as a way to connect with the readers of said stories
    The ones manipulating Wizard Of The Coast and Dnd Homebrewers to make Elf subspecies and or lore to be able to play alongside us
    The ones manipulating degenerates into making sexualized media about Elves as it is the closest thing they'll ever get to experiencing physical intimacy ever again

    Really liked how this rewrite turned out
     
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    Question: Why do some creatures (including humans) evolve and mutate out of a sudden in logic defying ways?
    Suggestion: Mother Nature wants to take revenge
     
    Question: Excuse me sir, I'm a bit unfamiliar with this city. Do you happen to know whether this tube goes to the convention center.
    Suggestion: This question is asked by a stereotypical British gentleman cosplaying Sherlock Homes. He is unfamiliar with the city.

    EDIT: grammer
     
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    The Life Programs & The Children Of Flowers
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    • meloa789 said:
    Question: Why do some creatures (including humans) evolve and mutate out of a sudden in logic defying ways?
    Suggestion: Mother Nature wants to take revenge
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    "The metaphysical forces operating the evolution of life on earth are governed by... think of it like AI programs but for reality, these life programs are named the Mother, Survivalist, and Executioner, Mother nurtues and preserves life, the Survivalist tests them and pushes them further, the Executioner puts the dogs down if they piss on the workings of the system

    Like in most programs, glitches occur, one of them being that Mother has grown to absolutely despise Survivalist and Executioner with all their nonexistent heart for the pair's cruel but necessary purposes, and the second is the Survivalist occasionally causes accidental rapid mutations, mutating a miniscule amount of creatures on earth into unrecognizable forms, which Mother also hates

    But despite everything, their innerworkings forbid Mother from doing any harm to the others, and even if those shackles broke and Mother attempted to kill the other 2, they would be destroyed by Executioner and replaced with a different program, so instead they spread a little bit of influence
    You heard of the Children Of Flowers? That one hippie cult in Minnesota whose members you can't remember the faces of? The Survivalist's mistakes, hidden by the Law Of Denial, are guided to the cult by Mother, modified to stay alive and functional, in thanks and worship they aide in the matronly life program's machinations without the limits of programming that forbades fucking up the 2 other L.P.s

    Together the Children Of Flowers are performing a cold war against the 2 other grand forces of nature, gathering resources, recruiting powerful Mutants, learning secrets, and hopefully one day doing what Mother cannot, bashing in the brains of Mom's coworkers, also the Mother is non-binary so don't refer to them as a she around their Children, Mother doesn't exactly care but some cult members may get offended on their behalf"
     
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    • Question: Why doesn't God talk to his creations in a straight evident way?
    Suggestion: Something to do with uncontrolled youth, debts and divorce.
     
    Trauma Lane
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    • WallFlower said:
    Question: Excuse me sir, I'm a bit unfamiliar with this city. Do you happen to know whether this tube goes to the convention center.
    Suggestion: This question is asked by a stereotypical British gentleman cosplaying Sherlock Homes. He is unfamiliar with the city.
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    "Indeed it does Mr Holmes, I don't know how you're alive and young in modern times nor why you're in New York but I'm not one to question the world's greatest detective, though be careful, the tracks here are currently harmonized to the subway system of Trauma Lane
    Sometimes life hurts, but eventually you die, and a corpse can't get hurt, a pile of structure of deactivated cells cannot feel suffering, so where does your pain go when you die?

    Sometimes a weird black and white train pops up at stations in big cities, it looks old, like its from the 50s, and if you hop on it, the train will take you to Trauma Lane, an afterlife for the worst days of your life, it looks like a city from the 50s, no colour either, don't remember exactly if you also lose your colour, if its temporary, permanent, or it varies depending on what you do there...

    Anyway, the residents there don't have faces, they're living lives akin to those of actual people from the 50s and are generally as polite as any New Yorker (Not much), just don't show any hostility back, it might remind them of what they really are and then they'll tear off their skin to reveal a very fucked up physical metaphor for what kinda trauma they were and they'll feel the urge to inflict themselves onto you, and- OH SHIT A FACELESS GUY JUST STEPPED OFF THAT TRAIN, FUCKING RUN!"
     
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    • Question: Why can a lie spread around the world before the truth gets its shoes on, so to speak?
    Answer: corn snakes and pathogens
     
    Question:"Why aren't the police arresting you? you ***ing druggy!"
    Suggestion: His presence is actually keeping crime down somehow. (I also think that it would be more fun if he wasn't on drugs.)

    I think it's funny to try to come up with things the screaming dude might encounter while screaming in the subway.
     
    The Celestial Host's Seduction
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    • Andre Chaos said:
    Question: Why doesn't God talk to his creations in a straight evident way?
    Suggestion: Something to do with uncontrolled youth, debts and divorce.
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    "The Abyss may or may not be sapient, but it still acts, but communing with lesser beings, issuing orders, and negotiations with equally powerful forces are a bit difficult if you possibly don't have a mouth, so instead it got a mouthpiece in the form of the Celestial Host, otherwise known as god by us

    The Celestial Host, as the mouthpiece forged by the Abyss, is incredibly powerful by itself, with great amounts of reality warping skill that looks cooler mainly cause the Abyss likes providing assistance when in home territory, but it's main strength is an incredible aura of authority and charisma, being able to communicate ideas perfectly with others even from galaxies away, and forcing others to follow the laws that the Abyss decrees

    The Celestial is in fact sapient, and in their early years they realized they had something close to unchecked authority in our universe and some diplomatic immunity in others so they started fucking around, mind expanding with divine methods, getting into orgies with the elves (Pre-Exile & Pre-Law Of Denial), messing with mortals
    Acting kinda like a Zeus but without the sexual assault nor trickery, full consent, no cheating, and no shape-shifting
    Occasional light smiting but who doesn't do that after a hard days work and you feel irritated?

    Eventually they encountered someone who I'll refer to as the Coquette, a mortal from somewhere far far away, they seduced the Celestial Host and whispered all sorts of beautiful to them, promises of love and passion, connection deeper then any atomic bond and brighter then stars
    The Celestial Host married the Coquette, gave them immortality, and they lived together for centuries, the Celestial Host listening to both the Abyss and the Coquette

    Giving out decrees, mainly just going down to some mortals, telling them to try eating less apples and stuff like that
    And going out on the town with the Coquette, mainly to this one weird dimension they like with the black towers, drinking in the energy waves they released for some casual mind expanding

    Then one day the Coquette showed something to God, it was a list of how many energy waves the Celestial Host had consumed, multiplied tens of billions of times thanks to centuries worth of ludicrous interest
    The Coquette was an agent of the black towers, the Qalantirs, the Celestial Host could never do enough favours and offer enough treasures to pay it back, nor outpace the interest, and if they refused, how much they owe would be revealed
    They would be shunned, called a fool, an honourless dog who can't pay back what they owe due, executed and replaced by the Abyss since no other metaphysical forces would take a Mouthpiece that got itself into basically infinite debt seriously

    The Qalantirs had another offer, do some work for them as an extra agent, or be dismantled by their own creator if the Abyss heard about the debt
    C.H. would go on to Divorce the Coquette and take back the immortality they gifted, the seducer from the tower's caring not for the end of the relationship, they immediately died of old age happy they served their masters well in acquiring a powerful pawn, and was buried underneath the grandest looking of tne Qalantirs for their service

    Now the Celestial Host simultaneously reports to the Abyss, and shares info they get their hands on with the Qalantirs, alongside now using their Authority and Charm skills to decree the law of the Abyss in their universe, but also spread some energy of the Qalantirs
    The effect has become far more subtle so as to avoid having traces of the black towers energy signals being noticed among the decree, this subtlety also inspired the Qalantirs to make the Celestial Host spread the energy of the towers covertly to other nearby worlds

    (Post-Law Of Denial) And, also the Law Of Denial would declare God illegal but the law makes some exceptions for essential tools of the Abyss, the Host still has to speak decrees, but they have to be sneaky about it now, which fits with the treason conveniently"
     
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    • Donald Darf said:
    I do not believe I would be able to fit that all together, I am sorry
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    I thiknk that I have an idea for this one.
    An old woman with a large hairy wart on her fake hook nose and a permanent scowl, and covered from head to toe in all the Hello Kitty merchandise. Interrupts before the screaming dude can speak.

    "Wat are you thinking asking the Motherly secrets from a man! Any woman can tell you tell you that it's the fault of those FUCKING! storks. Who load up our slot the babies into us through quantum tunnels.
    You see all people have different birds tending to them mouse people for instance have the house sparrows serving them. And you never see any mice cry when they leave the womb. Nooooo, our stupid birds have are all a bunch of bitches who are too afraid that innovating a little will cause their kids to lose their jobs. They threw the chickens out of the window when they asked if the could help, like they did with all the other birds.
    That's why chickens have a hard time flying if you were ever wondering, because the Storks threw them out of the cloud windows.

    The twits think that they have the fucking right to just do whatever they want, because they all stem from noble families.
    Well I tell you Mister Wiskers that nobility is worth fucking nothing when the bird shits sit in Mister Whiskers belly.

    It would have been great if they just listened to either the chickens or us women who keep telling them to listen to the fucking chickens.
    But it's not like anyone ever listens to us."

    She then takes a Sailor Venus wand out of her hello kitty bag and wacks Mickey Mouseman with it. and stomps onto the next subway cart muttering about how men never listen.
     
    Okay current cosmology

    Abyss, presumably the greatest authority over the universe, but there are also other worlds with their own authorities?
    It outlawed acknowledging the existence of magic, thus making it difficult in our world to perceive magic stuff, for normal people anyway

    Celestial Host, mouthpiece of the Abyss, double agent for the Qalantirs cause of debt and blackmail

    Qalantirs, giant black towers in another world? Need to spread their energy and influence for some reason

    The Mother, The Survivalist, The Executioner, 3 forces of nature, think of them like metaphysical AI
    The Survivalist occasionally glitches out and makes the Remoleded Children by accidentally mutating folks, The Mother takes in these Remolded and recruits them into a cult called the Children Of Flowers, they're in a metaphysical cold war with the Survivalist and Executioner since Mother cannot harm the others directly


    Elves are trapped in Thought-Space for a great offense against the Abyss involving magic, which is why theres a Law Of Denial for magic, and these Exiled Elves mainly communicate with dreaming and high people, in a attempt to form a connection with the physical plane they miss so dearly, thus resulting in lots of elves in media

    Then we got the dimension of Trauma Lane which resembles America in the 50s and is filled with faceless people that are actually the traumatic memories and pain of people who died, which they have a metaphorical form based of said suffering hidden under their skin

    I feel like making up some characters for this universe, already got some interesting options
     
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    Mitchell Hutch
    - Member of the Children Of Flowers' tactical stealth division
    - Farm boy, born to a redneck family in South Carolina, good at taking care of pigs
    - Was Remolded by the Survivalist into a reptilian creature that can go sorta invisible by making light pass through their flesh (He just has to be naked and not have anything in his body, has enhanced hearing and smell from gill-like gaps on his neck
    - Formerly he didn't have the enhanced hearing and smell but the Children Of Flowers found him and in a ritual they cut open the gill holes he would need for being able to notice more stuff while invisible
    - His family came along and joined the Children Of Flowers as well to support Mitchell, they're some of the rare non-Remolded members of the organization
    - He once fought some screaming guy in a subway for an artifact taking the form of a scimitar, he lost, badly

    Lina Sozzito
    - A Trauma Lane cab driver with a gun collection, some weird fetishism of hunting, and a voice like silk, could've been a singer if her mouth wasn't akin in demeanour to that of a sailor, she also didn't wanna be a singer
    - Trauma form is that of an imposing figure made of writhing shadow, wearing a crown of wolf teeth and a sweater vest like a suburban dad, wielding a rifle that almost always strikes true at hearts which beat rapidly in fear
    - She learnt that Trauma Lane isn't actually a normal town and sometimes takes trips to places the subway tunnels of her home harmonized with and looks for crazy hidden monsters and such for fun, also planning to kill the Elves, believing they're communists since they share Thought-Space
    - Was involved in a shoot out in the German countryside with some Elf-aligned narcotics dealers during the 70s, has a rivalry with the now elderly last living gang members of the group she fought

    Qismat Amal
    - A physician who travels the Arabian peninsula, accompained mainly by a variety of Elves which live inside his mind which he has trained to be left open for them, they offer advice on magical subjects, they ain't screaming dudes in mickey masks that live in the nyc subway but they're something at least
    - Is gathering various forms of supernatural methods, ingredients, and tools for curing strange ailments of many kinds
    - His brother died from a paranormal disease caused by an attack from a specific Faceless One from Trauma Lane, the doctors couldn't perceive the actual symptoms and so they worsened the condition during treatment, and from that day Qismat swore that he would never allow such a tragedy to happen when he's around
    - Has a couple golden piercings depicting different organs with green lines across them representing the flow of one's spirit throughout the body, doesn't actually believe in it but the Elves say these specific types of earrings are significant in certain ways
     
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