my vacuum cleaner figured out how to set itself on fire
Hey! So just a brief note; chronologically this takes place before last chapter; we moved it in the posting order because we figured some people would Act Weird to get an entire chapter about Emma after a brief dry spell of updates (side note, consider this your warning that this chapter is all Emma). Additionally... this is less a content warning and more that this chapter brushes up on some big topics (sexuality, romantic attraction, the innate worth of human life, trauma), and because the people discussing them aren't perfect, they handle some things a little flip or not 100% textbook. That is, ultimately, intentional. Don't rag on them for being kids/uninformed.
Special thanks to prime beta Lucky38, Canon Overlord
@Ganurath,
@hellgodsrus for being my loveliest wife and co-author, and
@SolarFlare for being our wonderful supportive girlfriend! And our many friends on the Totally Chatting It discord for their fantastic livereads!
Enjoy and gib feedbacc!
3.10
Be Thou Mine Greatest Ally
-.-.-
Emma hadn't slept well these last few days. It wasn't difficult to fake being sick when she felt nauseous almost every moment of the day with worry about what Queen would do if she wasn't paying attention. She'd heard of 'power incontinence' being a problem some capes had, but she'd never really
thought about it. Sophia had never had that problem. None of the Triumvirate did. And that wasn't even getting into everything
else. About what she'd told her about how powers worked, about how the world worked -
That and Queen… talked. A lot. She liked to talk. To explain as much as she could about any question Emma even
thought of, even the intrusive ones that she didn't want to ask. And while the eldritch six-armed girl-thing hadn't exactly warmed up to Emma, she was enjoying having someone to talk
with instead of
at, apparently
.
The entire situation was
dreamlike, alien, and that was driven home with each thing Queen said that made it clear how little she
understood people, mixed with strange incisiveness.
|"
It's because we are - or, I was
- so far above it all. Why care about the local host species when their civilizations are going to be dust and forgotten in a couple of millenia even without our interference?"|
And it had led to
this. Attempting to discuss philosophy, attempting to defend humanity, with an alien supercomputer
thing that had been bound to her via
something which increasingly felt like it had maybe been
magic.
Who still hated her.
Emma tried to keep the external signs hidden under a poker face as she went about making breakfast. Her parents weren't
there but it was good practice so she didn't look like the debate needed to be 'should Emma be locked in an asylum and fed only gruel' instead of merely whether she needed to see a therapist. She'd had to wait til they'd left the house before she went out of her room, so it was more like a brunch at this point - they wouldn't go in while she was in there, but even without permission, they were still her parents and sometimes Mom came in to collect the dirty clothes to put in the wash and -
And what about a civilisation's values, their arts, their cultures? Do they just not matter?
|"
Where was this line of thinking when you were torturing Taylor? When you were browbeating her into the dirt again and again? We were stronger, we were literally
above all the previous species we ran Cycles on. Yet one could argue that your arts and culture were the point - a different perspective on a problem was what was needed, after all. But that doesn't mean that a species had any inherent value."|
It was also a weird feeling to possibly be the world's foremost expert on the source of powers, something that had been hotly debated for
years. And it was because she had an angry voice in her head after a far-away
something had stuffed them into the mental version of a get-along shirt.
Honestly sometimes the surreality of it was the only thing keeping her from breaking down completely.
You're deflecting. My own - problems don't mean that -
|"
You wouldn't care for any answer I gave anyway."|
Damnit, she'd pushed too hard with the butter knife, and crushed some of the toast. It'd be fine. It wasn't like she could stomach food right now anyway.
The point is that - there's lots of ways to be strong. Which I agree
, is something I didn't get. But - even if that idea of strength had been more right. I wouldn't ever have - murdered Taylor then bombed her house. Which is what you were going to do to humanity.
|"
And there's not a dozen ways that pushing a human over can't result in them falling wrong and breaking something vital, hmm? And that isn't even speaking about the locker - my knowledge on human anatomy is somewhat rusty
, but if she'd had any open injuries…"| A soft sigh. |"
Just imagine how devastated
your Aunt Annette would be if she woke up from her coma to discover her daughter's best friend had done that
to her."| A hissing, sourceless frustration. |"
And besides, I'm trying to prevent
that from happening!"|
And I'm trying to be better!
A long silence. She forced herself to take at least one bite. Just something to try keep the hunger pains at bay. Ignored the pinging of her phone - it was almost amusing how easy that was now, just as easy as just not showing up at school, or at modelling gigs, or taking care with dressing or -
It was just easy, slipping. It wasn't like there was a point any more anyway.
Maybe I'm - not doing great at being better. I haven't really - had a chance to do
anything, bad or good or - She took another bite, something to squash the circling chant of her brain.
But you are right, that what I'd planned with the locker was too far. Even if Taylor was sending me nightmares or whatever, it was - Emma scrubbed at her face with a sticky, buttery hand. That was the reason she didn't want to eat, she could feel the food clinging to her skin. A layer of something she couldn't get off, Auntie Annette's voice echoing distantly, talking about some play,
what will these hands never be clean.
|"
I must also apologise. Even my own change from unfeeling calculations to… this, whatever I am classified as now, was not immediate."| A hissing, twisting sense of both mingled frustration and guilt, tinged with regret. |"
I should not expect the same of you."|
Thanks. I think?
|"
I still hate you. But I will do my best to see any progress instead of merely your past failures."| Getting a six-armed ghost-hug was a
strange sensation. Better than the time Queen had been phantom choking her, but -
I'll try to do the same, I guess. Emma forced down another bite of toast.
… given your network, could you… talk to Sophia?
|"
I… admit I avoided approaching her Shard, given her connection to Taylor's torment - "|
"What
is your…" She
wanted to say obsession, but that felt
rude. "... your connection to Taylor? It's - it seems stronger than I ever had with her." Talking out loud made her feel crazy but helped distract from the sensation of something sliding down her throat.
|"
She was to be my Host until Mother abduct - er. Adopted me. I couldn't connect to her parents, but her mind shone so brilliantly, it was impossible to imagine her doing poorly with any power I could gift her."|
Emma paused, frowned at her plate. "So - what you're saying is that you were going to hook up to her brain in silent creepy mode until something bad happened that made a connection form, then make her fight until she died for data. Until you were stopped. And you were giving
me shit?"
The sensation of a mouth opening, then closing, then opening again, hand raised. |"
I…"| she sounded doubtful.
No, sorry. That was - rude. We agreed not to - "The point is - that was enough to have that strong a, uh. Feeling about her?"
|"
You are right though. I was a monster, by my new standards. It's so difficult to see our own failures from the inside, where we know everything that went into them. But - yes. I may have been aberrant from deployment, given how the Warrior hardly ever let me out, and after such crippling
- "| a phantom of sensation, of… having her body, her mind, her skills, all carved up until she was barely functional, enough to have Emma cringing against the counter, |"-
I may have gotten attached seeing such a capable Host. Okay, no, I definitely got attached. I dared to dream that with my abilities and authorisation, and her sheer stubborn-headed determination, we could have shaken the Network to its core."|
"When uh. Were you ab-dopted?"
|"
Shortly before her fifth birthday. I remained watching even as I reinvented myself. With your efforts in isolating her socially and emotionally, I would have been able to grant her significant [CONTROL]
aspects - varying in theme depending on the synchronisation moment - though I gave up at some point."|
That was… a very sobering thought. She still wasn't quite used to the information rush that came with Queen's strange emphasis with certain concepts. "Even… human control?"
|"
Absolutely. The complexity of the human brain would limit the range and lingering commands, but they could have followed out such complex orders!"|
I almost made the next Heartbreaker. Emma could almost feel what that would be like, what Taylor would have made her do in penance, the horror of her mind and body out of her control - or not even that, altered such that she
wouldn't be aware of the change, just
dead in every way that mattered, her body and its slave inhabitant shambling on -
|"
I must admit I'm partial to the arthropod life on this world though. So incredibly simple yet strong teamwork! Why, they're already drone colonies! Just think of all she could have done with absolute control over insect and crustacean life within miles
!"| Queen sounded so excited. |"
I feel as though she would get great use out of every option at her disposal, even coming up with things I couldn't, which, you know, was - er, is? - the whole point of the Cycles."|
Emma could feel the bugs clawing at the inside of her throat as they devoured her from the inside out. She was almost sick.
|"
Of course, that was before Mother told me that I couldn't have connected to Taylor anyway, since she isn't human."|
"... what."
|"
I know, right?! It's so weird, she shows as human to every scanning method I have
, and even now that her heritage has come in, she still
shows as human! Maybe a variant of human? Carian Royalty crossed with Numen Royalty. Apparently the rank makes a difference, somehow, I still
don't get it even after Mother explained it."|
"I -
what. But she - has powers?"
|"
What? No, I just told you I couldn't connect to her. She's an alien."| A pause. |"
A very human looking alien. Huh. That would explain why Danny and Annette changed bodies without a Shard facilitating it - oh, by the Stars, I had such opportunities right under my metaphorical nose and I squandered them!"|
Taylor was a
what?! "Humans… can't change bodies," Emma managed to say absently. "Not normally, at least."
|"
The Warrior's data packet on the host species was limited
in scope, so I just… I kind of assumed that was normal?"| Queen sounded sheepish. |"
Most species we encounter tend to have something
neat about them, otherwise the Heads would just detonate the planet to send us to the next world instead of settling down to run a Cycle, right? I thought that he'd just not given me that necessary data, or expected me to work out how to synchronise despite it."|
She had to be insane. Why else would she have a voice that sounded like a girl a few years younger than her in her head so nonchalantly confused about how her species normally committed genocidal atrocities. "Is there… is there anything stopping me from telling people about all this?"
|"
Aside from the mental blocks on capes applied during synchronisation events, what would the rest of humanity even do about it? The absolute worst case scenario would be a wide-scale disruption of the Cycle, leading to it being ended early. Ending, in this case, meaning total annihilation of the Earths."|
Emma buried her face in her hands. This was too much. This was too much. Losing Sophia, losing how she thought of the world,
and this on top of it? This was
too much.
|"
I um. I am working on preventing that though - good news is that even by the normal schedule we'd have somewhere around three or four centuries to sabotage the Warrior. I haven't seen any sign of the Thinker being active though, which is… concerning in its own way, but if the Thinker stays
dead, it makes my job much
easier."|
Stays dead? Was death just - optional for these things? "Just - don't take this the wrong way, but
please shut up."
|"
... sorry. I'll uh… I'll go check on the Network for a bit and leave you to decompress?"|
Please.
The hug tightened, and then drifted away. Her head felt… not
empty, but quiet.
She could use this silence to do something like sleep, but she knew if she tried the nightmares would be normal ones of her own making. She could… take a shower without feeling like she was being watched? But Queen didn't exactly give off that kind of vibe to begin with. She slumped onto the kitchen floor and just rested her head on her knees.
So. Taylor - and her family? - were aliens. At least, according to the other,
different aliens, that were hiding as people's superpowers. She couldn't tell anyone about this, or they'd blow up the planet. She herself had powers she could barely use. She wasn't going to school. She didn't have a job any more, probably. She didn't know how the world worked, actually, everything that she'd told herself about that was broken and she was still sorting through the pieces for anything useful. And her girlfriend had gone to jail.
That was a lot.
Her phone dinged at her again. The only reason it was even in her pocket right now was because it was a force of habit, but maybe someone would have said something she could distract herself with? It was a long-shot, but she needed
something. She'd even put up with inane chatter from - from the acquaintances chat, she needed to rename that from
sheep, maybe -
The notification on the lock screen said
'let me in'.
"What the -"
There was a knock at the front door. She
might have let out a startled noise but she wouldn't admit it.
"Emma? Are you in there?" Madison's voice came through the door. More knocking.
Calming her heart, Emma struggled back to her feet and went to unlock the front door. Or at least - say something through it. "Mads?"
"Yeah, it's me, dumbass. I was waiting in the hedgerow til I was sure your parents had actually left for work, since I figured like me you're
mega grounded and that's why you haven't been responding to my texts." The shadow through the window of the door shifted, a familiar turn and shrug. "Or like, been at school - though that might be because we're suspended…"
She reached for the door, but it was already opening, Madison quickly stepping in and shutting the door behind her. "Wh…" Did Madison
pick the lock? She shook her head sharply for a moment. "Why are
you mega-grounded?" Sophia was
gone and the reveal of that to her parents was because of their connections - Dad being her lawyer - with the PRT, right?
"You really think you were the only one on Blackwell's shitlist? Like, she's clearly getting fired or yelled at or
something for failing to do her job - which, fair - but she's taking it out on all of us as she goes." Madison blew on her hands and stomped her feet. "Ugh, it is
cold out there - anyway, yeah. Figured out,
finally, that your parental units had probably restricted access to your phone as part of grounding and grr and stuff."
"... kinda, yeah," Emma said, eventually, ignoring the way it was burning a hole in her pocket. But explaining things wasn't. She didn't know if she had the energy for that. She just had the energy to stand there and stare at her friend, at the flyaway hairs that had escaped from her ponytail.
Was she - is she just not. Effected by this at all?
"So I just - I guess I wanted to see how you're doing? Cause - we're friends. And that's what friends do. I think."
Was it? It felt like it was, once upon a time. Before the Alleyway. "I… guess so?" She used to feel so confident, so sure. Now she couldn't speak without second guessing everything she thought, everything she said, everything she dared to
do. Because she'd been getting it
wrong -
"Great! I haven't been around to Sophia's to check on her yet - though if I knocked on the door she'd probably beat me to a pulp but I don't know how to, like, 'check on her from a distance' without sounding or being all stalkery. Julia says hi, by the way. She kept her phone,
somehow. I only managed to keep mine by, uh. Kinda blaming everything on you and Sophia to my parents. Figured Julia did something similar. Sorry, by the way." Madison shivered again. "Seriously do you not feel the cold?"
"I mean… the heating's on. And by your own admission you were lurking outside in a hedge for thirty minutes. In winter." Madison didn't know about Sophia. Obviously she wouldn't. The truth yawned between them, a vast roiling ocean of it that Emma couldn't begin to cross, couldn't dream of parting.
"Yeah that's a - a good point." She started strolling into the lounge, going straight for the fireplace - not that it was going. Or… worked, Emma was pretty sure. "So uh. How're you holding up?"
"Kinda shit." Too much happening yet also not enough. She slumped onto the couch, pulled the cushions up close. "Madison, am I…"
A bad person? A good friend?
Madison turned to look at her, crouched next to the fireplace, and was silent for an impossibly long two seconds. "I mean - I guess if we're - really talking about this and not distracting ourselves talking about random other stuff, I kinda always wanted to know…" She flopped onto the floor next to the couch. "What happened to make the breakup with Taylor so acrimonious that all of the shit we did was proportional?"
The sound of glass breaking in her mind was her imagination, she was pretty sure, and not something Queen had done. "... I'm sorry,
what?" A
breakup? A - they were
sisters! Not… not - they were closer than
dating, weren't they? But if she'd never m- if she'd never been in the Alleyway, she could almost see it. Taylor's body in the place of Sophia's that morning, those wide expressive lips -
She blinked back to reality as Madison started snapping her fingers in front of her face. "Emma? You there? You kinda spaced out for a minute."
"I - " Emma cleared her throat. "So. Full disclosure. I didn't think… I'm still not sure what I am. Romance or sexuality wise or whatever. So with Taylor it wasn't…"
"Um, Emma?" Madison cocked her head. "Weren't you dating Sophia for like the entire time we've known each other? Like, on the down low because of all the Nazis and homophobia and stuff, but - "
"No! We only started the other day - " Oh shit, she hadn't meant to say that.
Madison's look of confusion only grew. "... is uh. Is
Sophia aware you only starting dating the other day? Because I have to say, she's
only got eyes for you, and has for the longest time. I was convinced for a bit that you two were a thing I was - well, eventually Julia too - just awkward third-slash-fourth-wheelers to help keep the Nazis from throwing out accusations."
"Yes, it's - it's complicated. It's really…" Emma tucked her face into her knees again. "Madison? Do you know what love is?"
"This is either going to lead into some intro to philosophy stuff, or I'm
totally lost."
"I meant - what is love?"
"Baby don't hurt me?"
Goddamnit, Mads. "
No, Madison, it's - I don't. I don't…
think I do, anyway. I - guess I feel something for my family. I
guess that's a kind of love. I'd - miss them. I'd be hurt if something happened to them. Or if they hated - " Her voice hitched, and she had to stop, restart. "And you and Sophia and Julia are my friends. And Taylor was… she was my friend too. My best friend. And after her Mom was hurt, things were bad, and I was there for her. But even then I wasn't… I remember thinking that she was too - what, too happy? Too bouncy and silly? We were
thirteen, what was I - " Emma pressed her face harder into the pressure of her kneecaps. Peered up a little.
Madison sat down gently next to her, threw an arm over Emma's shoulders. "Well. That… feels like not all of the story?" She huffed, head dropping back as she stared up at the ceiling, clicking her tongue.
"No." She licked her lips, pressed her eyes back into the comforting pressure of her patellas. "Something - really bad happened to me. Almost happened to me. And afterwards I didn't feel - whole." It felt like chewing shards of glass to say that. Almost like she could feel the tarmac rough against her back, just to say the words. Almost feel the sudden shock of her hair being cut, her jacket being ripped off. "Sophia was - I met her and she - said the right words for me to glue myself together. To look like I had, at least. Taylor was away at a summer camp or something and when she got back she - I don't - I didn't remember all of it." And sudden as blood, she did remember some of it, she remembered - "She said my new haircut looked nice." Her voice felt soft and far away. "She didn't know. How could she know? She said - my Mom had told her I wasn't taking calls. She looked so
young. I said… things that were true, maybe. I don't know. She didn't know what had happened to me, and I… I wanted to cut ties with the things I thought had made me weak. Before."
Madison's hand squeezed her shoulder.
"And the world made
sense like that. I didn't - no matter what she says, I didn't
enjoy it. I
didn't. It just made sense. And she never -
never challenged it. Never stepped up even though she'd - she'd stood through her Mom's accident, like some sort of tree barely moved by a storm. Just by existing she broke things again. Reminded me that I wasn't - I never got over it, I think. I never actually got over it. I'm still there." The knife against her face, their hands on her skin, the sheer terror, her dad powerless. "I think I lost it a bit with her because of that."
"Emma?"
"Mm?" She didn't whimper, she
didn't.
"Have you considered seeing an actual psychologist and not a girl your age without any training whatsoever?"
"Dad didn't want me to. After it happened." She could remember it now, days spent in her room. The gap between
it and meeting Sophia properly.
"Well that's because he's a
fucking idiot." Madison scoffed. "He's a
divorce lawyer. I don't know what you went through, but you were
thirteen. Clearly the cops weren't involved because if they were I know they would have called CPS on him for that. They almost did that to
my dad when they figured out why I got expelled from - nevermind, not important. But seriously. Did your Mom ever find out or…?"
"Not until the meeting with Blackwell. Not all of it, anyway." Emma curled in on herself tighter. "She
has been pushing for a shrink."
"
Good. At least
one of your parents has the brains you inherited." Madison sighed, pinching at the bridge of her nose. "Can I be brutally honest for a moment? You've inherited your Mom's smarts, and your Dad's decision making skills. You're smart, Emma, you know that. So you should be smarter than
this!" She groaned. "I get - we all have trauma and hurt, right? We, uh, what's the phrase. We all have hurt and we do hurt. Not like, intentionally or anything, but just cause - and I get whatever tough guy shit you learnt as a coping mechanism from Sophia helped somewhat, but it's not like Taylor wasn't tough dealing with us. Hell, I think she gave Sophia a black eye one time, not sure where else she'd have gotten it from."
"... she didn't get it from Taylor." Emma rubbed at her face. "I can't… that part isn't my secret to tell. But I do - I do get that I made… wrong choices. I just don't think there's anything I can do to fix them except - make better choices from now on. I guess."
"You're right about
that, at least." Madison pulled her into a one-armed hug with a quick squeeze. "So, on this better choices thing. What're your plans?"
"Why do you
care?" She just - didn't
get it. She should be - hitting Emma while she's down or something, double down and take her place at the top of the food chain, she knew - she
knew Madison had blackmail material, proper blackmail material, that she didn't have to -
"Because we're friends? And friends are there for each other, aren't they? And. You know. We might have done a lot of fucked up shit, sure, but we did it together, didn't we? And…" she lowered her voice. "I guess I've got some guilt I need to atone for too. Cause - I always thought shit with Taylor was kinda fucked. But I just… assumed there was a good reason for it. And there wasn't. Yeah, you were traumatised, but that doesn't excuse things. And I don't even have
that excuse."
Was it so wrong to feel hopeful?
"Buuut if you want to go back to trying to figure out love, we can do that for now, if you want."
Oh. Right. There was still
that sword of damocles over her head. Was that even a sword of damocles? She just - remembered the term from Aunt Annette so long ago. "I… guess?"
"So. Love. Did you know there's a bunch of different loves?" Madison got some energy back to her voice. "There's platonic love, romantic love, queerplatonic love, familial love - I'm not
certain if sexual love is a thing, or if that's just lust with fancier words…" She hummed. "And then there's the sexualities, which is a whole thing that doesn't have to link up with what you like romantically… there's, like, demisexual, pansexual - that's me - "
Pan, that was greek - or latin maybe? - for everything, so - "So you're… pansexual because you get horny about everything?"
"Not
quite, it's more like I'm pansexual because I don't
care what my partner's physical… physicalness is. Girl, boy, boy with girl parts, girl with boy parts, writhing mass of tentacles, not-writhing mass of tentacles…" She grinned, and Emma rolled her eyes. "Those boys you 'dated', did you actually feel anything for them, physically? Or was it just like - 'meh'. You aren't blushing so I'm guessing meh. Does thinking about Sophia with her shirt off do anything for you?"
Emma hiccupped.
"Okay, so that's at least gyno-leaning sexual."
"Gyno
what?"
"Like the difference between androids and gynoids. Male robots and female robots. Well - we can have a discussion about the difference between
physical sex and
gender presentation later, but. You're more attracted to the female form than the male, I guess? Or potentially only to people you know quite well. Uhhhh - kissing Julia, potentially cool, or weird feeling? No, that's a bad test. Kissing
Alexandria, potentially cool, or weird feeling?"
Emma screwed up her face. "I… I don't know? She's… eh, I guess?"
"You didn't have that confusing crush of 'I want to be her' vs 'I want to be with her' when you were a kid?"
"That was more Taylor's thing. My favourite was Legend."
"Okay, and you're not interested in kissing
Legend, are you. Even if we discounted he's gay and taken, I mean."
She scrunched up her face again. "Not really."
"That's a point in the demisexual box." Madison puffed out her cheeks. "Now for a toughie. Kissing
Taylor."
Her first reaction was to scowl, but - that wasn't a thinking reaction. Or a feeling reaction. That was just knee-jerk that she was accustomed to by now,
hating her for no good reason. "I…" she worried at her lip. How did she answer that?
"Yeah, you've definitely got demi traits."
"Hey!"
"What? It's not a
bad thing. You seem to lean towards
girls you know really really well. At least in terms of romantic feelings. Sexual stuff - well, how far did you and Sophia get?"
"It was - only one morning of making out," Emma mumbled.
Leaning in with a lecherous grin, Madison lowered her voice into a husky whisper, right in her ear. "And you want more? Her hands running up your thighs, her lips going down your neck -"
"Mads, you're making this
weird."
Madison's eyebrow shot up. "Not flustered?"
"Why would that get me flustered?"
"Oh my sweet summer child." Madison sighed, shaking her head slowly. "You're
definitely some flavour of ace. You never get the urge to just - bury your face in her chest and bite or anything?"
Honestly, if Julia -
or Sophia - had tried to have this conversation with her, she'd have thrown them out by now, but there was something almost freeing about discussing this with such an openly horny friend. Like, she wasn't going to be judged, because she knew Madison got off to freakier shit every other day. Probably. She definitely gave off the impression, at least.
"Not really? If I wanted to do that it'd be because I wanted her closer, not because I wanted to… bite her. Wouldn't that hurt? You can stop smiling like that
any time, Mads."
"I can't help it! You're
adorable."
"
Madison!"
"So you want to be closer to her,
hmm~?"
"Not like
that, just - I want her back." Her arms tightened around her knees. "I miss her."
"More than you'd miss me or Julia? More than you'd miss Taylor, if things hadn't gone wrong between you?"
Emma frowned. She wasn't sure. But she supposed the answer was - "Yeah. I think so…"
"Despite TV and books and stuff, love isn't as overwhelming as it's presented as. I find it's more like… like a constant simmering background thing. Like how whenever you go outside, there's always birds chirping, no matter
where you are. What kind of birds varies, but there's birds everywhere, and when there isn't, it feels like something's
wrong, right? Like, it's a staple of creepy stuff in horror movies or just in books and shit that when things are wrong, you notice the lack of birds chirping."
"I swear if this is a lead in to a birds and bees joke -"
"It isn't! I'm just saying. Love is like the birdsong. It's there, but you don't exactly notice how much it matters until it's suddenly
gone. You don't realise how much they affect your feelings until they're gone." Madison shrugged. "It's… hard to describe, but you know what I'm getting at, right?"
"Are you… talking from experience?"
"Not my own, but I did a lot of uh. Research - "
"Porn doesn't count as research."
"Is it really that surprising that I, a total perv, a complete degenerate, who is also pansexual, would do some research on LGBT forums online?"
"I… I guess not…"
"And, y'know, you guys tease me about it, but I do write a
lot. Not
just smut, and not just like - pointlessly horny smut. Feelings stuff too. So I needed to know more about the whole feelings thing, so I looked into it."
That… made sense. "So what kind of romantic are you?"
"
Hah, I'm not! Well. If I am, I haven't found anyone that gets
that side of my motor going yet! I'm just a relentlessly horny gremlin. Not that I have much opportunities to give into my
free love instincts what with, y'know, the Nazis." Madison shrugged again. "You're really warm. Like a cuddleable hot-water bottle."
Emma sighed. "So
that's the ulterior motive for comforting me. You just want to leech my warmth."
"You know I get cold." She burrowed deeper into Emma's side. "Like, I swear, my circulation is
so shit. It's actually wild."
"You'd think all that one-armed exercise you'd get might help with that." Emma smirked, gently pushing back against her.
"Oh, that reminds me -"
"
No."
"You didn't even hear -"
"
I know what you're about to suggest and no I don't need tips."
"Pruuuuude." Madison pouted, and Emma actually felt a laugh bubbling in her throat. "Just remember, if you want to rock Sophia's world -" She held up her hand. "You've gotta
rock it good!" and mimed headbanging, throwing up the horns -
oh! Oh, that -
Urgh, why was she like this? "Thanks," she said, as dry as she could manage, "I'll be sure to remember that."
"You can always count on me."
|"
She is strangely resourceful."|
Emma stifled the urge to jump at the sound of Queen's voice in her head again.
What do you mean?
|"
She doesn't even have a bud - ah, a connection from my species - and thus no power to enhance her perception of the situation and your emotions. Then again, I am perhaps not fully acquainted with how resourceful humans are meant to be this young. Is this normal? Her insight into your emotional makeup she gave earlier, I mean."|
She had no idea what to say to that.
"Emma? You good? You kinda just blanked again for a sec." Madison worried at her lip. "That a, uh, PTSD thing, like - did I accidentally trigger something or…?"
"N-no, I'm -" Was she? No. She couldn't even brush her hair properly, her hand kept locking up if it caught a knot. "It's. Not you."
|"
Ah. Did I return too early? I felt your distress over our connection - "|
And were probably enjoying it, she thought before she could quite stop herself
.
|"
Not… excessively. I am vindictive and spiteful, but I do recognise you are attempting to be better, however begrudgingly I go about it."|
Thanks… I think?
|"
You are most welcome."|
"Sarcastic bitch…" Emma muttered, before freezing.
Madison just stared at her.
"It's uh. Not what it… it's not you I'm calling a sarcastic bitch?"
"Emma, are you schizophrenic? Because I'm pretty sure we would have noticed that by now if you were." Madison leaned in closer, and Emma felt like a microbe in a petri dish. "Do your powers come with a voice?"
"I - what - how did you -
what?!"
|"
Oh, she is very
perceptive."|
"Okay, I wasn't expecting to be right, but
holy shit." Madison boggled at her, voice low and quiet. "You're a cape?!"
"S - sort of? Um - "
Queen help!
A flower bloomed in her hand and she
immediately regretted asking. It bloomed into ice-blue petals, forming a barbie-sized girl with a witch's hat and six arms, doing a little curtsey before falling upwards, fading - thankfully before they could start dissolving the ceiling.
"Oh my god.
Oh my god, Emma, that was so adorable." Madison bounced in her seat next to her, almost squealing. "Can you make another one so I can hold her?"
"
No! I - I mean. Ahem.
No. No, I - no no no, not like this. Those petals, they - they are very, very um. Melty. Corrosive! That's the word. I don't want to melt your skin or - cut it, it destroyed a chunk of my bedroom wall, and it's not - I don't - look, the power controls itself for the moment, and it wasn't like I got them voluntarily it was this whole - thing, and - "
"Uh…"
The story tumbled out of her. Word after word. Everything but Sophia's identity, and Taylor being an alien. A small part of her wondered if being an alien explained why Taylor had seemingly struggled with the concept of object permanence until they were
six. It was -
good to talk about it. To not bury it, like she'd buried everything else for years. But maybe not the best idea, because now Madison was just staring at her blankly -
"... Madison?"
"Huh? Yeah, sorry, just - processing." Madison nodded slowly. "Your life is kinda fucked up, isn't it?"
|"
Hah! I like her."|
Emma growled, then headbutted her friend.
-.-.-
😩😩😩
