Things that Overwatch Agents aren´t allowed to do

Sabertooth

Currently on a road trip with Magnus the Red
Location
Portugal
Inspired by the XCOM thread.


Things that Overwatch Agents aren´t allowed to do:

1: No, I am not cosplaying as Harambe or Donkey Kong again. It was just that one time. - Wiston

2: No Hanna, you cannot paint Bastion red and blue and call him "Optimus Prime".
2a: And please do not ask Sombra to hack him in order to play "The Touch" whenever he switches modes.
2b: Same goes for hacking his voice modules to make him sound like Petter Cullen.
2c: And Frank Welker. I cannot stress this enough, but come on people, at least try to not make the traumatized former killer robot sound like a world conquering villain.

3: Singing the "Itsy Bitty Spider" as a way to taunt Widowmaker is seriously ill-advised.
3b: Same goes for "french surrender" jokes.
 
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4: Hanna, you're not allowed to detonate your mecha just because it's got some dirt on it. They're not cheap and the other agents tend to get jumpy when there's an explosion without any reason.
 
5: If you start singing "Doctor Doctor Give Me the News" to woo Angela , it´s not going to end well. Just ask McCree.
 
6. Stop throwing your guns after shooting once at everyone Reaper!
6.B. Just because you throw weapons doesn't mean you can use Gun-Fu at your allies.
6.C. Nor you are a master of Gun-Fu.
6.D. Nor we should bow before your 'Gun-Fu-ness'.
 
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7: Sombra, stop trying to blackmail McCree. Do you honestly think a man that dresses like that in public has anything close to shame?
 
9: Wall and imigrant jokes around Sombra are a good way of having your entire internet history and every shamefull thing you saw spreaded across the internet.
 
9: Moira, we know you're a major otaku but you're a fully grown woman, stop crying at the first Pokémon movie.
 
12: For the last time, Mercy, Sigma is not the reincarnation of Sigma from Megaman X! Nor is Megaman X even exists in the real world! JUST STOP!
12.b: Genji, stop cosplaying as Zero.
12.c: McCree, you're not a Megaman despite your gun being colored blue.
12.d: You're not wearing a Rider Armor, Reinhardt.
12.e: Nor is D.Va wearing a Rider Armor.
 
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13. While it is a mystery to all of us why Soldier 76 forgets how to run when Sombra hacks him, agents should stop making fun of him for "having his motorised walker turned off".

14. For the safety of Overwatch Agents, they are likewise barred for making fun of Roadhog forgetting how to take drugs or throw a big metal hook when he gets hacked.

15. No, Dva, just because you are immune to your own self-destructing mecha does not make you immune to all explosions. Just trust us on this.

16. While we appreciate the use of the suggestions box, we have already read the suggestion that we should glue Symmetra's turrets to Reinhardt.
16a. Yes, we do appreciate that this would stop people running away from him.
16b. No, we cannot "just give Reinhardt Moira's Fade".
16c. Yes, we appreciate that a giant German man with a hammer would be absolutely terrifying if he could just teleport like she could.
16d. No, we cannot get Torbjorn to build a turret on Reinhardt's back.

17. The suggestions box is no longer accepting suggestions on "how to make Reinhardt better".

18. Brigitte has been banned from using the Armour Pack Mk1. She is only allowed to take the Mk2 to battle now. However, she is allowed to take up to three Mk 2 packs.
18a. No, that does not mean she could have taken 3 Mk 1 packs.
 
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