It was a silent walk back to the village as I returned from my latest hunt, the corpses of two large bears carelessly slung over my shoulders.
I was not greeted with cheers. People did not come streaming out of their tents to greet me, and children did not look at me with eyes filled with wonder.
No. Instead, what greeted my arrival was absolute silence. I looked around, seeing barely a few souls in sight, with said souls quickly scurrying away as I stomped through the village, my heart tightening more and more with each step I took.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be, I thought glumly as I arrived at the center of the village, shrugging the two massive corpses off of me.
"Leana!" I called out loudly, feeling my fingers twitch as the woman answered my call, hesitantly stepping out from her tent and walking over to me, her face torn between fear and anxiety.
That look alone did not bode well, I immediately knew. She was the woman I'd put in charge of the remaining savages while I went out to hunt something for them, mostly because she was one of the most learned and well-educated people I'd found due to her being a bastard of some lesser nobles down south or whatever.
"My lady... I..." Leana struggled to say, flinching at the look on my face.
I sighed. "How many?" I asked tiredly, running a hand through my greasy, dirty hair. God, how I missed being able to have proper baths...
She cringed, fiddling with her fur shirt in a clear sign of nervousness. "Twelve, my lady." She whispered.
I remained silent, closing my eyes even as I took a deep breath, counting to ten and back several times over. Then, I looked up at the cloudy sky, staring at the sun that was hidden behind a particularly thick cloud.
It had been two weeks since I'd taken over these savages. Two weeks of stress, anxiety, and anger as I struggled to keep these people alive, most of whom I knew probably deserved death.
I wish I could say that I had handled it with grace and experience and that I had solved all of their issues singlehandedly. However, to say such a thing would be nothing but a bold-faced lie.
The truth was that I had no idea what I was doing. For all of my strength, for all of my power, for all that I could annihilate the entire village with a single blast... None of that helped with actually keeping them alive.
It had started slow, at first. First, the food supplies began running low, then water did as well, and then commodities. The people were restless, the surviving warriors angry and humiliated while the more civilian-oriented were fearful of my presence.
In hindsight, I should have tried to do something. I could have tried calming them down, tried to relax the tension, tried to bond and get to know these people.
However, frankly, I didn't and still don't want to do that. These people were savages of the worst kind, slavers and rapists and cannibals one and all, regardless of the fact that it was necessary for their survival.
I breathed out, opening my eyes and looking back at Leana, who was tense as a spring, her pupils blown wide with fear.
My gut clenched, anger and shame and guilt mixing together into a disgusting morass of negativity.
I hated how even the people I found tolerable were terrified of me, and I hated how I'd grown so used to it at this point. But, perhaps most of all, I hated how a not-so-tiny part of me relished in it.
I'd been a college student before this, and not a particularly impressive one either. I'd been a faceless nobody, just another body in the sea of people coming and going through the day.
Now, however, I might as well have been a god to these people. A god of terror, perhaps, but still a god.
"I see." I forced myself to say, pushing down on my warring thoughts. "How many are left?" I asked the woman, stepping away from the corpses and making my way over to my personal tent, my little haven of peace in this shitty wasteland of scumbags.
Leana, like the good girl she was, followed me. "Um... Around..." She hesitated, clearly afraid to say it. At my look, she nonetheless relented. "There are just six people left, my lady, including me." She whispered.
"Jesus." I cursed, turning my head to stare at her as we stopped before my tent. "Six people? Does that mean they took the kids with them too?"
At Leana's meek nod, I couldn't help but sag, even as I gave out a hollow chuckle. Leana nervously chuckled alongside me, taking several steps back as I started outright laughing, throwing my head back as I did.
It didn't last long. "I should have just evaporated them all," I murmured, my laughter trailing off abruptly into a violent snarl. "Now, these fuckers will just go back to what they were doing before. I knew I should have just let fucking loose!" I hissed.
This exodus wasn't the first one, far from it. Ever since I'd taken command, people had been gradually fleeing into the forest, heading out towards the nearby tribes and clans. At first, I'd tried to stop it, threatening death on anyone that attempted to leave.
That hadn't worked, obviously. Between the food and water issue, my insistence on them stopping their barbaric practices (who the hell sacrifices living animals to fucking trees? God!), and my orders to free the thralls, the savages had apparently decided that braving the deep forest, my wrath, and the chance of being rejected by their destination tribe was better than remaining under me.
It stung, I will admit. It stung a lot, especially because by the time I'd realized that things had already fallen apart, it had already been too late to stop it, and no amount of threatening to turn them into a red mist would stop it.
And so, here I was. Surrounded by a ghost village now inhabited by only those who straight-up couldn't leave, all of them because of injuries, I'm betting.
It felt like I'd failed. I'd put so much effort into this, all the beatings I gave to those who defied me, the hours and hours spent hunting down elusive beasts, the days spent scheming about how I could civilize these people... All of it turned out to be completely useless.
"Fuck it." I snarled. "Gather everyone in the main tent. I'll be there in a bit." I ordered Leana before entering my tent, closing the curtain-fur that acted as a door a moment later.
I didn't bother hearing her response as I made my way over to my crappy bed which was actually nothing but a pile of furs. Thankfully, I didn't actually need it since, just as I didn't need food or water or even air, I didn't need to sleep either.
That being said, in moments like these, I found it came in handy as I collapsed into it, burying my face into the coarse fur.
"God damn it," I murmured, tightening my eyes. "Fuck this. Fuck them. Fuck these savages with a fucking fuckstick." I rambled, letting the curses flow from my lips like water. It made me feel a little bit better, at least.
I felt like a failure. It had felt good to finally feel like I had a purpose in life, that there was finally something meaningful that I could do. Now, it just made the taste of defeat all that much worse.
I don't know how long I lay in that bed, tossing and turning as anger and depression warred within me. In the end, though, I eventually forced myself to get up.
My chest felt like it was full of lead as I then made my way over to the main tent, tearing its 'door' open as I stepped inside, glaring at the assembled host of weak and sickly savages.
There were five men and two women, one of whom was Leana herself. The moment I entered, all eyes landed on me, their fear obvious.
However, at this point, I couldn't bring myself to care.
"I'm done," I said simply, smirking at the confused looks on these people's faces. "You're free. Go. Leave. Fuck off. I'm going south where there are actual baths and actually good food, and with people who aren't fucking savages for company." I bit out.
Nobody said anything, and yet, the looks of sheer relief on their faces spoke a thousand words.
And by god, did it hurt.
It shouldn't have, and yet, it did. It felt like I'd just been stabbed through the heart with a rusty spoon, and my fists clenched in response, anger surging through me.
Well, if they didn't want me, they could go and die on their own. See if I care!
I'd wanted to give them one last gift before leaving, something that would have helped their chances of survival.
Now, I found that I didn't care. I'd go and heal some people who actually deserve it, like all the animals I'd basically tortured while I'd practiced this power of mine.
I whirled around and stomped away. There was nothing that I needed here, as I had no basic bodily needs, so they could keep all their shit for all I cared.
Well, everything except for one thing.
I made my way back to my tent for one final time, pointedly not looking at the deserted village as I did. Once inside, I stalked over to my 'desk' and grabbed the thing on top of it.
A map.
It wasn't amazingly detailed, but it was still far more than I could have hoped for. While my skills for reading maps were, uh, lacking, I was sure that between all my powers, I could manage.
Satisfied, I once again headed out of my tent, feeling slightly happy at the thought that this would be the last time I would consider this thing as my home.
However, what greeted me outside wasn't at all what I expected.
Leana stood in front of the tent, twiddling her thumbs nervously. She squeaked when I came out, acting more like a scared kitten than a person as she looked at me with naked desperation.
"What do you want?" I asked with thinly-veiled hostility, glaring at the woman suspiciously.
I doubted she thought she could assassinate me. There had been a number of attempts already, and all of them failed, the perpetrators all dying soon after (or, well, at least the ones I could catch).
"Take me with you!" The girl blurted out. At my stunned look, she quickly fell to her knees, bowing her head as deep as she could. "Please, I beg you, my lady. I, I will do anything you say! I will serve you for life! Just, please, don't leave me here!" She begged, tears streaming freely from her eyes.
I blinked, really looking at Leana for the first time.
She wasn't a legendary beauty, but that didn't mean she wasn't attractive. She was short and skinny with wild brown hair, and yet nonetheless possessed a chest and ass that I had no doubts made her rather desirable to men.
Which, in all likelihood, was the reason why she'd been kidnapped and then kept as little more than a sex slave despite her learned status.
I remained silent, just staring at the girl as she continued begging, clearly desperate. Unlike many of the other women here, Leana was not strong of body (nor of mind, really), and she had never adapted to this hellhole. She was also, to be frank, a coward, which I suspected was the reason why she hadn't run where so many others had.
But at the same time... She was also one of the very few people here that I wouldn't call a disgusting savage, and for all that she could barely speak a few words to me without stuttering, she was nonetheless rather pleasant.
I sighed. "Alright." I acquiesced, my mind already recalculating how I would need to go about this journey now that I had a tag-along that actually needed things like food, water, sleep, and shelter. "I guess you can come with me."
"-I will never betray you, I pro- huh?" Leana stopped, blinking at me. Then, when she finally registered my words, she gasped in relief, thank-you's pouring forth from her lips.
"Yeah, yeah." I waved her off, grabbing her arm and helping her to her feet. "That being said, if you come with me, then let's make a few things clear. You obey me without question, clear?" At her nod, I continued. "Good. Also, no whining. I'll do my best to help, but until we're past the Wall, I don't want to hear a single complaint. Capish?"
Although she looked confused at my lingo, Leana still nodded eagerly, practically sagging in relief.
Despite my earlier mood, I couldn't help but smile wryly. "Mm. Go and get ready, then. Meet me over at the south exit of the village as soon as you can." I ordered, amusedly watching as the girl scrambled to obey.
I knew that I was most likely going to regret including her in this already probably annoying trip, but... Well, I wasn't completely heartless. Besides, at least I wouldn't get lonely, and maybe she'd even stay with me as I explored the south.
Which, speaking of, I couldn't wait to do just that. I would literally kill for a bath and some clean clothes, honestly, and all these rumors about nobles and such had me curious. I was eager to learn more about the southerners and see their castles and palaces.
Hell, maybe I could even meet their king. That would be pretty cool!