"I will not apologize again for accessing your systems," I told Torres, "Nor will I take any blame for the loss of your ship. The first was necessary, the second was Seska's action."
B'Elanna Torres took a deep breath before letting it out again, "I know."
She was still clearly agitated. Annoyed. Angry.
I didn't need to be an empath to see that. She was fidgety, barely able to stand still.
"You are angry. You lost your ship, the one you put so much time, blood, late nights, and tears into," I said, "You lost your home again."
She turned away, walking a couple of meters away before she turned back, fists balled at her sides, "Damn right I'm angry!" she snarled, "Wouldn't you be?"
I calmly sat down, curling my tail a bit to the side as I regarded her, "Apocalyptically so. More so than you, I'd wager. My species is quite territorial. If I met Seska right now, I would likely try to kill her. You can be as angry as you wish, 'Lieutenant' Torres, but what I demand of you in my engine room is control."
She made a disgusted sound, "Lieutenant, now that's a joke."
The Maquis crew had been given ranks and positions according to their ability, skills and similar metrics.
Tuvok had taken a step back into the role of Chief of Security, displacing Dinah.
Dinah had been torn between being annoyed at the demotion and glad to be rid of the department head issues. In the end, it seemed to work out as she was still senior tactical officer. She would still be the one on the bridge, pressing the fun buttons while Tuvok would take the chair next to Janeway, opposite to Chakotay's.
Replacing Tuvok was Chakotay as first officer. That was mostly a political appointment to be honest.
Hopefully none of which will come back to bite us.
Which brings us to my current problem.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres had gone to engineering this morning and been so furious at everything around her that she'd almost vibrated like a chihuahua. I took her out of there before she could hit someone or get someone killed.
"I don't know about that, you've got the skills. You were the chief engineer on your ship," I said, "The question is if you'll be an engineer on mine."
"And what the hell do you mean by that?!" she asked, rounding on me.
I tilted my head slightly, meeting her eyes as I bared my teeth slightly, "Do you wish to fight me, Lieutenant Torres?"
She froze.
"Control, B'Elanna Torres," I told her, shifting my wings slightly on my back as I shifted to lay down, keeping my head raised, "I live a life of control. Absolute. Control. My surroundings are made of cardboard, my coworkers are made of barely set gelatine. And I'm piloting a cargo mech. One wrong move might wreck a piece of equipment, one careless emotional outburst could kill someone."
I watched her for a second to make sure she was paying attention before I continued, "We work with antimatter, Lieutenant. With devices that can vaporize everyone on the ship if handled carelessly, with the power to depopulate planets. All of which requires careful thinking, swift motion, and complete control. Emotion does not belong in my engine room. And if you can't leave yours at the door, neither do you."
Her fists clenched so tightly I thought she would draw blood before I saw her visibly and forcibly relax them. She turned away and crossed her arms, head slightly bowed.
I left her at it and simply waited.
"And how is that supposed to work?" she asked after a couple of minutes, her voice calmer but she didn't turn to me, "I'm a damn good engineer."
"You are," I agreed, "But if you can't keep a calm head, I have no use for you. They'll find another job you can do. I need you in engineering, so I'd rather you get a grip."
She spun to me, arms dropping, "Like it's that eas-"
I surged to my paws and was suddenly nose to nose with her and she stumbled backwards. I moved in, my clawed paw pinning her back against the floor as I bared my teeth centimeters from her face, "Easy, Lieutenant?" I asked, letting a growl fill my voice, "Since when did I say it was easy in any way? What would you say my mood was right now?"
B'Elanna didn't answer, she just stared up at me with wide eyes, swallowing.
Lifting my paw off her chest, I took a step back, regarding her laying on the floor as I put my paw back down onto the carpeted deck plates, "I am furious, B'Elanna Torres. Like I said, my species seem to be quite territorial. Seska worked against me, she took what was mine, she disrupted my systems and hurt what was mine. She managed to trick me. Me! I want to kill her in a most messy manner. I am apocalyptically furious."
I lifted the paw I had used to pin her, studied the claws for a second before I put it back down onto the floor, continuing in a calm voice, "Easy? Whomever said it was easy? I am no vulcan. I'm not suppressing my emotions. I feel every bit of it. It's burning, screaming at me to find and kill her. I do not care if you spend your evenings in the holodeck murdering hordes of Seskas in an increasingly cartoonish manner or however you express your displeasure of her continued existence. When you are on duty... control."
She remained still for several long moments before she pushed herself up to sit, "I... I don't know if I can just switch it off like that," she said quietly, "It got me kicked out of the academy. I've never been able to... do that."
"Is it every day or just times you have been antagonized in some manner?" I asked her, shifting to lay down once more as I regarded her.
Torres shook her head, "Not every day. I just... get so angry."
"Have you considered that your human and klingon ancestry may be giving you a chemical imbalance?" I asked.
She scowled at me, "Of course I did! Even back when I was a kid. Tried all sorts of things, but it all just stuffed my head full of cotton. I can't think like that!"
I nodded, "In which case, if you still wish to work in engineering, you talk to me. Normal days, you work. If you're upset or feel yourself becoming angry, you'll talk to me and we will decide what to do. Be it some other duty for the day, a couple of hours to cool down or taking the next couple of days off."
"I can't just keep taking half days!" she shouted and climbed to her feet, "Because that's what it would take!"
"Then it's what it takes," I said, "Half a B'Elanna Torres is still a damn good engineer from what I've seen."
She looked out the window for several seconds before turning back to me, "And if it's an emergency?"
"Then it's an emergency," I said, "And we do whatever we can to make sure everyone is alive at the end of it. You have heard my rules. Any thoughts?"
She crossed her arms again and scowled at me, "I don't exactly have a choice, do I?"
"Of course you do. You can choose another department to work on," I said, "Plenty of jobs to go around, even with the Maquis joining the crew, we're critically understaffed in every department."
Torres took a deep breath before letting it out, nodding, "Alright."
"Very well," I agreed and got to my paws, "In which case, how do you feel right now?"
"...Still angry. Frustrated..."
I nodded, "It's still fresh and in a new environment. Take a couple of days. Study, work out, play in the holodeck. Talk to someone. Find a mate. Do whatever lets you work on those emotions. When you're back in control, come see me."
She let out a sigh, "I'll think of something," she said and headed for the door.
"Lieutenant Torres," I said, stopping her before she got there, continuing when she glanced back at me, "If your issues get one of my people killed, I will be displeased. Do you understand me?"
She visibly swallowed before she nodded once and then she was gone.
I turned to look out the window of the meeting room at the stars and the streaks of the warp field.
I was almost as furious as I wanted her to think I was.
Seska. The Kazon. The situation we were in.
Finally I snorted and headed back towards engineering. Fuck'em.
Let Seska enjoy her Kazon friends. A couple of months at high warp away from the course she was expecting and we'll leave them all in the dust.
Congratulations Seska. You won.
Enjoy your prize.
We're going home.
AN// And that's it for now! Next week we… continue with the sequel of this story. Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! I will of course post a link to that one in this thread!
