Winged One
Not the Simurgh
- Location
- definitely the ground
- Pronouns
- They/Them/It
Tasting horrible to the biggest predator in the environment is a feature!
The Voyage Without
- Thread starter Hiver
- Start date
At least it's not Dragon-nip.
Maybe somebody on the ship wants Zephyr to get high off licking them, but that's another thing Zephyr could live a long and happy life without knowing.
- Location
- On the sofa. (Probably)
I had this thought the first time Zephyr brought up that Neelix smelled terrible... could it be that millions of years ago Neelix people were prey animals to Zephyrs? Then the smell might just be an evolutionary adaptation to predation. If it also had the effect of calming other sophonts it would explain why nobody punched Neelix every time he opened his mouth. I distinctly remember him as being very annoying when watching Voyager.
Darth Cooter
(Verified Lord of Cooters)(Dark Proprietor)(AP)
- Location
- error -loc root/users/dcooter not found
Ohh Makeup is very nasty. Originally made from Bat Guanno. Essentially Zephyr just licked bat shit off of her
Working in Telecom, sometimes we have to clean up the deskphones when our lady employee's leave the company.
When you get a deskphone back, and it's peach color, instead of the original cisco dark grey color....you typically consider dropping it a few times on the carpet, then just ewasting it....cause that stuff's just nasty. Luckily I've been on my team long enough that get's delegated to the new guys....but /shudders..... I agree Zeph, I agree!
- Location
- England
Quark, In his sleep: Gets the sudden urge to develop ketchup flavoured makeup.
Quark: *Wakes up* What the Frinx was that?
I would not be at all surprised if this already exists. Bacon flavored lube is already a thing.
Pudding cups, lip balm, and condoms too...
Humanity am I right?
One of these things is actually intended for human consumption, one is a product the wearer expects to taste over a long period of time, and the third is... Well, if you don't know your partner's sexual history, using one for oral might make sense I guess.
However, if lube is required for a location where you intend to put your mouth, seek medical advice.
Gelasin
(Not A Fox)
- Location
- Sweden
- Pronouns
- He/Him/Sergeant
Guano has never been used in makeup, that's just a myth which started because there is guanine in a fair amount of makeup, guanine has literally nothing to do with bat guano, in fact it's one of the building blocks of DNA, every living thing on the planet is partially built of guanine.Ohh Makeup is very nasty. Originally made from Bat Guanno. Essentially Zephyr just licked bat shit off of her
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A bit too far here.
It was originally extracted from guano, which led to the name.
But as you say it is in no way specific to guano, yeah.
42
The EMH handed me my oversized PADD, "Please complete these cognitive tests."
Taking the PADD, I put it onto the floor before laying down, tail a bit curled to keep it from pressing against one of the biobeds. Then I flexed my right paw and caused the claw covers to deploy from the vambrace around that foreleg.
Then I got to work.
A week.
A week I had spent off duty in my cabin as we waited for whatever the fuck was in my brain to do something. Anything. So far, as far as we could tell, all it did was hug my neurons.
Why anyone would make something that insanely advanced and not have it do anything, I had no clue. But quite frankly, I have been out of commission for a month.
We're short staffed as is and simply can't afford having me just laying around doing nothing like somebody's pet iguana.
Even if I had to admit that getting to sleep in for once had been kinda nice. I even managed to get some reading done.
What's more, if this whatever it was didn't liquify my brain, I'd end up clawing my own eyes out if I ended up not having anything to do for seventy years.
So it has been decided by Captain Janeway and Commander Tuvok that we'll take as many tests as necessary and then let me get back to work.
Hence, this cognitive test.
My sixth test today actually. The first ones had been knowledge tests, math, physics, engineering... basically academy exams. Real easy stuff.
With some luck, this will be my last one.
It was also really easy. Basic logic, cube rotation, some fourth dimensional stuff. Pick the next in the pattern puzzle and the usual things normally used to measure how good you were at taking cognitive tests.
Okay, that's unfair.
They were a lot more scientific than the ones I remember back from my time. The concept of something as stupid as IQ had been disproven even back then, but the testing methodology for some sort of baseline was not completely flawed.
I had done these sorts of things plenty at the academy and during my time at the institute..
This one however, seemed especially easy. Which I suppose makes sense, they were measuring if my brain worked, not trying to see if I'll overheat or something.
Tapping the last image with a covered claw to confirm the shape of a fourth dimensional pyramid passing through a two dimensional plane at 50%, I looked up while watching EMH, "Completed."
He nodded and took the PADD when I handed it over before returning to his office.
The door to the sickbay opened and Captain Janeway walked inside. She smiled when she spotted me, "Lieutenant. How are you feeling?"
"Captain," I said and pushed myself up to sit, retracting the claw covers before putting my paw onto the floor, "If this continues much longer, could I be allowed to requisition a big wheel to run in? Maybe one of those water bottles that hang from the ceiling?"
She grinned, "I'm sure something could be arranged."
"I'll be fine as soon as I can get back to duty," I admitted, "I don't feel any different than before I think. And I want to get my cabin repaired."
That made one eyebrow go up, "Repaired?"
"One of the gravity platings by the window fluctuated," I sighed, "I had not noticed until now. Not a lot, but it shifts up and down by a hundredth of a standard gravity with the frequency of the plasma power."
That made her other eyebrow join the first, "You can feel that?"
"Yes?"
"What's the gravity in here?"
I shifted my wings to mimic a shrug, "9.80 meters a second square. Shipboard standard according to regulation. No fluctuations."
"Ah, Captain," the EMH said as it exited the doctor's office, "Just the person I wanted to meet. If you'd come with me, please?"
"Should I not be in this conversation?" I asked, tilting my head.
"Just a minute," the EMH said with a smile, "There are matters I need to discuss with Captain Janeway first."
I snorted in slight annoyance but let it go. I really need to see what can be done about safely adjusting its personality matrix. The EMH was a sealed program so messing with it was risky, it wasn't meant to be field adjusted. It was blackboxed just to keep someone from messing with such a sensitive program.
But maybe a translation layer could be safely added? Not sure anyone ever done anything like that before but I think it can be done. Wouldn't even be that difficult, just send the input/output through a specially adjusted holographic matrix.
Hmm.
I need to tinker with the concept some, I'll poke around a bit next time I get some free time.
"Lieutenant," Janeway said as they exited the doctors office, "One final test," she said and held her PADD out, "What's the answer to this equation?"
I glanced at the PADD. A string of numbers in different bases and a mix of operators, "The answer is twelve in base three."
Captain Janeway nodded and looked at her PADD before looking back at me again, "Lieutenant, you passed every test."
"Thank you, Captain. Does that mean I can get back to work?"
Janeway frowned, "You misunderstand me, Lieutenant. You passed every test with flying colors, even the ones you're not meant to pass. Nobody could have passed some of the ones mixed into the last cognitive test you did, not without the aid of a computer. Now you solved an equation using a mix of sixteen different numbers in different bases, some of them non-integers. With barely a glance."
I tilted my head, "Captain, I have done a lot of cognitive tests, especially during my time at the institute. I'm pretty good at them."
The EMH walked up and tapped at a console, bringing a screen online to show several graphs, "These are the scores of your previous tests on file."
I nodded, "Looks familiar. As you can see, each time I take one, I have scored better than the last as I get better at taking them. That happens with everyone."
"Actually, no", the EMH said, "You were quite a bit above average intelligence before."
I looked at it, "Were?"
The EMH nodded and tapped a couple of buttons, "This is your latest score."
A new dot appeared at the top of the screen. I nodded, "So the tests are broken."
"I thought that as well," Janeway said, "Which is why I gave you a spot test."
"Anyone in Starfleet could have solved that," I protested, "We're literally learning that stuff in grade five."
"Not non-integer bases," Janeway said, "And not that quickly," she tapped on her PADD and turned it around to me, "Solve this, please."
I sighed in annoyance and glanced at it again, "Warp factor 8.3," I answered before I frowned, "Wait, that's a warp field calculation." I had done warp field calculations by claw before, but I always needed something to write on and like an hour to work. They were seriously complex math.
I had not even done the calculations this time, I had just looked at the calculation and known the answer.
"That's..." I started to say before I blinked, "...Really strange."
"I think we just figured out what the alien device is doing," Janway agreed, "It's an intelligence enhancer."
"I don't think so," I said as I looked at my test results, "I'm not sure I'm any smarter than before. It does not seem to tell me why it gets the answer, I just get the answer itself."
Which could be really dangerous. But who the hell had something like this laying around for close to seventy million years, how did it possibly survive for that long, and why did it react to me?
Oh, now you don't have any answers for me.
Isn't that just convenient.
Taking the PADD, I put it onto the floor before laying down, tail a bit curled to keep it from pressing against one of the biobeds. Then I flexed my right paw and caused the claw covers to deploy from the vambrace around that foreleg.
Then I got to work.
A week.
A week I had spent off duty in my cabin as we waited for whatever the fuck was in my brain to do something. Anything. So far, as far as we could tell, all it did was hug my neurons.
Why anyone would make something that insanely advanced and not have it do anything, I had no clue. But quite frankly, I have been out of commission for a month.
We're short staffed as is and simply can't afford having me just laying around doing nothing like somebody's pet iguana.
Even if I had to admit that getting to sleep in for once had been kinda nice. I even managed to get some reading done.
What's more, if this whatever it was didn't liquify my brain, I'd end up clawing my own eyes out if I ended up not having anything to do for seventy years.
So it has been decided by Captain Janeway and Commander Tuvok that we'll take as many tests as necessary and then let me get back to work.
Hence, this cognitive test.
My sixth test today actually. The first ones had been knowledge tests, math, physics, engineering... basically academy exams. Real easy stuff.
With some luck, this will be my last one.
It was also really easy. Basic logic, cube rotation, some fourth dimensional stuff. Pick the next in the pattern puzzle and the usual things normally used to measure how good you were at taking cognitive tests.
Okay, that's unfair.
They were a lot more scientific than the ones I remember back from my time. The concept of something as stupid as IQ had been disproven even back then, but the testing methodology for some sort of baseline was not completely flawed.
I had done these sorts of things plenty at the academy and during my time at the institute..
This one however, seemed especially easy. Which I suppose makes sense, they were measuring if my brain worked, not trying to see if I'll overheat or something.
Tapping the last image with a covered claw to confirm the shape of a fourth dimensional pyramid passing through a two dimensional plane at 50%, I looked up while watching EMH, "Completed."
He nodded and took the PADD when I handed it over before returning to his office.
The door to the sickbay opened and Captain Janeway walked inside. She smiled when she spotted me, "Lieutenant. How are you feeling?"
"Captain," I said and pushed myself up to sit, retracting the claw covers before putting my paw onto the floor, "If this continues much longer, could I be allowed to requisition a big wheel to run in? Maybe one of those water bottles that hang from the ceiling?"
She grinned, "I'm sure something could be arranged."
"I'll be fine as soon as I can get back to duty," I admitted, "I don't feel any different than before I think. And I want to get my cabin repaired."
That made one eyebrow go up, "Repaired?"
"One of the gravity platings by the window fluctuated," I sighed, "I had not noticed until now. Not a lot, but it shifts up and down by a hundredth of a standard gravity with the frequency of the plasma power."
That made her other eyebrow join the first, "You can feel that?"
"Yes?"
"What's the gravity in here?"
I shifted my wings to mimic a shrug, "9.80 meters a second square. Shipboard standard according to regulation. No fluctuations."
"Ah, Captain," the EMH said as it exited the doctor's office, "Just the person I wanted to meet. If you'd come with me, please?"
"Should I not be in this conversation?" I asked, tilting my head.
"Just a minute," the EMH said with a smile, "There are matters I need to discuss with Captain Janeway first."
I snorted in slight annoyance but let it go. I really need to see what can be done about safely adjusting its personality matrix. The EMH was a sealed program so messing with it was risky, it wasn't meant to be field adjusted. It was blackboxed just to keep someone from messing with such a sensitive program.
But maybe a translation layer could be safely added? Not sure anyone ever done anything like that before but I think it can be done. Wouldn't even be that difficult, just send the input/output through a specially adjusted holographic matrix.
Hmm.
I need to tinker with the concept some, I'll poke around a bit next time I get some free time.
"Lieutenant," Janeway said as they exited the doctors office, "One final test," she said and held her PADD out, "What's the answer to this equation?"
I glanced at the PADD. A string of numbers in different bases and a mix of operators, "The answer is twelve in base three."
Captain Janeway nodded and looked at her PADD before looking back at me again, "Lieutenant, you passed every test."
"Thank you, Captain. Does that mean I can get back to work?"
Janeway frowned, "You misunderstand me, Lieutenant. You passed every test with flying colors, even the ones you're not meant to pass. Nobody could have passed some of the ones mixed into the last cognitive test you did, not without the aid of a computer. Now you solved an equation using a mix of sixteen different numbers in different bases, some of them non-integers. With barely a glance."
I tilted my head, "Captain, I have done a lot of cognitive tests, especially during my time at the institute. I'm pretty good at them."
The EMH walked up and tapped at a console, bringing a screen online to show several graphs, "These are the scores of your previous tests on file."
I nodded, "Looks familiar. As you can see, each time I take one, I have scored better than the last as I get better at taking them. That happens with everyone."
"Actually, no", the EMH said, "You were quite a bit above average intelligence before."
I looked at it, "Were?"
The EMH nodded and tapped a couple of buttons, "This is your latest score."
A new dot appeared at the top of the screen. I nodded, "So the tests are broken."
"I thought that as well," Janeway said, "Which is why I gave you a spot test."
"Anyone in Starfleet could have solved that," I protested, "We're literally learning that stuff in grade five."
"Not non-integer bases," Janeway said, "And not that quickly," she tapped on her PADD and turned it around to me, "Solve this, please."
I sighed in annoyance and glanced at it again, "Warp factor 8.3," I answered before I frowned, "Wait, that's a warp field calculation." I had done warp field calculations by claw before, but I always needed something to write on and like an hour to work. They were seriously complex math.
I had not even done the calculations this time, I had just looked at the calculation and known the answer.
"That's..." I started to say before I blinked, "...Really strange."
"I think we just figured out what the alien device is doing," Janway agreed, "It's an intelligence enhancer."
"I don't think so," I said as I looked at my test results, "I'm not sure I'm any smarter than before. It does not seem to tell me why it gets the answer, I just get the answer itself."
Which could be really dangerous. But who the hell had something like this laying around for close to seventy million years, how did it possibly survive for that long, and why did it react to me?
Oh, now you don't have any answers for me.
Isn't that just convenient.
- Location
- Elsewhere
Maybe your neurons were under-performing because they were depressed?
They just needed a hug!
- Location
- Omniverse #1345
Ah, the database crew were the closest. It's an internal computer that's running the calculations. Is it doing them from knowledge that was pre-loaded into it, or is it pulling the priors from Zephyr's brain and using those to run the calculation, then returning the result?
The first could be extremely dangerous because you don't know the priors that were loaded into it. The second is mostly not a problem, as it is basically just running the math he knows how to run for him. But it is a problem if his priors are wrong, since it doesn't seem to bother showing its work so cannot be checked against easily.
The first could be extremely dangerous because you don't know the priors that were loaded into it. The second is mostly not a problem, as it is basically just running the math he knows how to run for him. But it is a problem if his priors are wrong, since it doesn't seem to bother showing its work so cannot be checked against easily.
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"if this whatever it was didn't liquefy my brain" It's quite possible that one of it's purposes is exactly the opposite. That is, it may be intended to ease the physical burden of using psychic abilities like fire breath and flight.
I wonder how this will impact his warp enhancement project.
I wonder how this will impact his warp enhancement project.
- Location
- Pacific Rim
Leftover bit of entity or really stable tinkertech; they will find the planet it was on was glassed those 70 million years ago, calling it now.
I don't think this is mathematically possible? A base is a way of writing numbers. Twelve in base three is just twelve. An equation doesn't care what base you write the answer in.
Saphire
Lurking dragon
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I think this is 123, as in 1*310+210. You could say "one and two" but it's confusing. So, "twelve"
I would very much not recommend that practice for communication, but it doesn't address the problem anyway.
Zephyr is asserting that the equation's solution has a specific base. What value and base are meant isn't the point - the point is that the solution is a number, not a way of writing a number, so base isn't an applicable attribute.
- Location
- france
Zephyr is right.
This isn't an enhancer. It's just the advantage of having a calculator in your head... Which also means the whatever-that-was has access to all his memories and senses.
I think my "Psionic Probe with integrated AI" theory is right... so far.
We can only say twelve as we have a name for that number. But you get to Hex and after 9 it just goes a, b, c, d, e, f. 45 in base ten is 45, translate it to hex and suddenly you no longer have a set name for it but 2D.
In base 3 you only have 0, 1, and 2 to make up your numbers for 12 in base 3 is 110. 5 in base 3 is 11. One lot of 3 with 2. so 110 is zero lots of 1, 1 lot of 3, and 1 lot of 3 squared. in other words. 3x3 is 9 plus the one lot of 3 to get 12.
If you have played Myst and fucked about with D'ni numbers it's the same reason 233 is the D'ni symbol for 9 and 8. 9 lots of 25(225) with 8, 233
- Location
- Orbit
I had figured something like this was up when we saw he mentioned the deck plating in his quarters.
My guess as to why it's "12 in base 3" is that a) we've been told star fleet use base 3 a lot now for some reason (I think their computers used it more often than binary) and b) it's deliberately designed to be tricky so that nobody can easily solve it without a lot of mental gymnastics, which Zeph can now do with all four claws tied behind his back. it's not well-designed, it's designed to be dumb
I figure the macguffin ball is a neural lace of some sort, though hopefully it's just an enhancer, not a replacer. It winds his intelligence up from an iq of 200 to 600 or more, a little bit like that machine from the Forbidden Planet...
Yes, I know what a base is.
It's a mapping between numbers and strings, ultimately.
The thing is that equations describe relationships between numbers, not between strings.
If the solution to the equation is twelve, Zephyr could describe it as 110 base three or as "c" base anything greater than twelve or 1100 base two if he wanted, because they are all the same number. (Or similarly if he actually meant five.) But he wouldn't, because they're all the same number and nothing is gained by such obfuscation.
Saphire
Lurking dragon
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Oh, missed that part entirely. Now I get what you were talking about
Ueah that is... yeah. If the output is an integer of some kind, it wouldn't have a base. Maybe if the underlying system assumes it's supposed to be in some, sure. But just a math exercise equation, probably not.