The Twilight Man: Let the Good Times Roll (JJBA)

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This is a series of short vignettes bridging the gap between books one and two of our JoJo's Bizarre Adventure AU fic, The Twilight Man.

Book one, which is an AU reimagining of Phantom Blood, can be found here. Book two, adapting Battle Tendency, will hopefully start going up sometime in the tail end of this year. In the meantime, these will be going up periodically.
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Playing With Fire
Location
Patriarchova
Good Time #1: Playing With Fire


On Sunday, President Woodrow Wilson issued a statement concerning the previous day's catastrophic explosion and ensuing fire at the Fort Pepper army base in Pennsylvania. "The government and people of the United States of America are both ashamed and heartbroken at the incident which claimed the lives of our countrymen and those foreigners to whom we owed our protection. The investigation into the cause of this incident is ongoing, and has the full backing of our Federal and Army institutions. The cause will be discovered, and any guilty parties that may be responsible will face the harshest retribution."

The incident, which occurred at four fifteen in the afternoon Eastern Time, remains mysterious, with federal and internal army investigators not yet having made themselves available for comment regarding findings to date. Survivors from other parts of Fort Pepper reported hearing shouts and other, unidentified, loud noises coming from the secondary barracks, which was being used to house German navy men taken prisoner on the Atlantic. The explosion, which originated from an equipment shed near the barracks, destroyed nearly a third of the building and set fire to the surroundings. Four American servicemen and forty-nine German prisoners of war were lost in the incident, with seventeen others recovering in nearby medical facilities. While much of the lingering fire was found to be caused by gasoline fuel released from an army motorcar caught in the explosion, the blast itself and the disturbance preceding it are unexplained.

Responding to the President in an open telegram, Kaiser Wilhelm has demanded an immediate explanation for the event which claimed the lives of German soldiers in American detention. Among other measures, the German Kaiser urges the United States to investigate Serbian and White Russian instigators within the country, and to investigate the possibility of a Communist plot to increase hostilities between nations and prolong the war to their ideology's benefit. Representatives of other nations, including Austria-Hungary, the Ottoman Empire, Spain, and Japan have made statements to the effect of their certainty that the American government will find the cause of the tragedy and take appropriate measures to ensure that its prisoner of war facilities are properly secured in the future.

-The New York Times, October 21, 1918
 
Well that's an interesting little piece with lots of implications. Always happy to see content from this verse.

Huh I wonder given supernatural events happening behind the scenes if the political climate of JJBA's world will be radically different than our own.
 
>implying Theodore Roosevelt wasn't a pillar man in OTL as well

He could be a Twilight Man!

Anyway, with the change... huh, so maybe it's American that experiment with Pillar Men? I suppose that makes more sense, since US is closer to Mexico than Germany, obviously.

Also, it's a bit hard to believe Germany set-up base on US, though American Nazi is a thing.
 
End of this year? End of this YEAR?

How will I survive for that long? You monster!
 
I will say I'm looking forward to these and the BT Adaptation! I am a bit sad that the wait is increased but considering the circumstances I more than get it.
 
Oh Susanna
Good Time #2: Oh Susanna


The April sun glinted off the gray flagstones and slender columns of the high balcony. Below, the sea was calm, but seemed to hold a secret restlessness. As if a storm were waiting in the murk below the small, skittering waves, just barely held back. The old man sighed, letting the salty air he'd sucked down escape between his teeth. This would be his last day looking down from this balcony, onto the waves and foam spray he'd spent the last nineteen years coming to think of as his. That feeling of ownership was an illusion he'd always known he'd shatter the day he left for India. He simply hadn't expected it to be such a convincing one.

Perhaps it was simply that being near this sea reminded him of his country of birth. He hadn't thought of it as his homeland in nearly forty years, but the beige rocks and the murky sea still had a place in him.

Well. The woman behind him was patient, but they also both had more important things to do with their time than standing here staring. He raised his hands and pulled the saffron hood back over his neck, letting his snowy hair fall free, and turned around.

"It was a surprise decision," Straizo said as he strode back toward the table set with tea and cups, "with how little time you've spent at the monastery. But, Master Tonpetti rarely made mistakes."

The tall, black-haired woman lowered her head in a nearly invisible bow. "I hadn't left it in four years, until this month. Master Straizo."

"I know," he said, pulling back one of the bare wooden chairs and sitting at the stone table, motioning for her to do the same. "But I spent twelve there without leaving before I took up the mantle, and Tonpetti spent fourteen." He poured himself his first cup of tea before passing the pot across the table to his successor. "And you and I are both foreigners."

Her face, impassive to begin with, took on an almost stony appearance. Her blue eyes glared coldly from across the table. "They object to westerners," she said, her voice barely hiding its contempt, "holding an island in Europe?"

"Not that." Straizo said, putting down the cup after swallowing a hot, sweet sip and letting out a steamy breath. "Tradition holds that you'd succeed me in Bengal, just as you have here." He closed his hands around the glass teacup, staring into its orange murk. "It will not be my decision. That's why I'd rather prepare you for it now."

He looked up from his glass at the dark haired and fair skinned woman. She had put on her mirrored sunglasses, preventing him from seeing how her eyes reacted to his words. The rest of her face and statuesque body, at least, were unmoving.

"I don't much care," she said after a short pause.

He studied her a little longer. Was that really true? He'd been similarly tested, when the late Master Tonpetti had installed Straizo here all those years ago. It was, of course, a formality. No one would really feel no resentment at being passed over. But still, the character of the new guardian must be beyond suspicion.

"Posso avere del tè?" A tiny, feminine voice asked in Italian from somewhere behind the table. Can I have some tea?

Straizo was not startled. He was never startled. But this was probably the closest he'd come in multiple decades. The mouth of the woman across from him twitched, and her head bowed forward.

"Excuse me, Master Straizo." She looked down at someone hidden behind the stone table, and switched to her own broken Italian. "Non ti avevo detto di aspettare dentro?" Didn't I tell you to wait inside?

Straizo said nothing. He just sat very, very still, and watched.

"È noioso!" It's boring! A pair of child-sized hands threw themselves up, making their fingers visible behind the glasses near Lisa Lisa's chair. "E freddo! Posso avere il tè?" And cold! Can I have tea?

Lisa Lisa raised her head slowly back toward the new master of the Ripple Order, her expressionless face finally showing a crack of embarrassment. "Cara, per piacere, aspetta un momento." She said soothingly to the little girl beside her chair. Wait, please, dear. As she spoke, she looked almost cautiously back at Straizo.

"E...Lisa Lisa," Straizo said, keeping his voice calm, quiet, and even, "why have you brought a child to this island?"

"I...didn't have anywhere else to leave her."

As Lisa Lisa's voice grew quieter, a small, silver-blonde head poked itself up over the table and turned its big, sullen eyes on him. "Signore, posso avere del tè?" Can I have tea, mister?

Straizo stared at the little girl in a way that normally made armed men back down. She didn't seem to notice. Brave child, if nothing else. Without responding to the girl, he looked back into Lisa Lisa's dark lenses.

"Never mind the secrecy," he said, letting his voice go icy, "or this island being no place for children. First, if you have nowhere to leave her, kindly tell me where you found her in the first place."

…​

The first major influenza outbreak since 1919 had hit Venice hard. It did help, she was sure, that they didn't have a simultaneous war to fight this time. Even so, the city was short on first aid personnel, which meant that the crew and passengers of the aging ferry boat Santa Lucia had precious few rescuers when her steam engine exploded. If the sun had still been up when it happened, Lisa Lisa was sure, a plume of black smoke could have been seen over the harbor, rising from behind the rows of terraces and bridges. It being late evening, however, only the bone-jarring boom had been sensed from the shore, followed by the racket of horses and motor ambulances rushing to the docks. With everyone speaking even faster than Italians normally did, she could only understand perhaps a quarter of the words being shouted and babbled back and forth around her. When she strode purposefully up to the approaching rescue boat, a uniformed man had gotten in her face and started asking frantic, incomprehensible questions. She had remained calm, looked down at the officer, and said the words "Infermiera. Americana. Io non parlo italiano."

His sweaty, disheveled face had relaxed at that, and given her a series of equally incomprehensible instructions while remaining directly between her and the arrival. She gently picked him up and placed him back down a few feet to the left, trusting him to be too scared to struggle overmuch. He did not disappoint her. She moved on into the crowd, and found no shortage of patients being brought ashore. Some burned. Some soaking wet. Some simply appearing trampled and suffocated.

She took a deep breath, and held it inside her for exactly one and a half heartbeats before curling her tongue to channel it out between her front teeth. She always did that with her first breath, to help the charge build faster over the next three or four. It felt good, sick though it sounded. Feigning interest in the Venetian music and night life had exasperated her into giving up nearly an hour ago. She wondered, at times like this, how ill suited she would be to a world without disasters. By the second breath, her skin was warm and tingling. By the fifth, she was having to rhythmically tense and relax her arm and leg muscles to prevent the capillaries from bursting from the turgid blood. Having to heal those as she worked, Lisa Lisa had learned, resulted in marginally worse efficiency than taking the trouble to tense and relax. At least for her.

The burn victims were surrounded by paramedics. Pushing herself into place beside them would have caused more disruption than it was worth, probably. Ripple healing was less efficient against burn wounds anyway. Instead, she turned to a gurney being brought toward a horse carriage. The man laying in it was moaning softly, his face wrapped in blood-soaked bandages where he'd fallen or been knocked down or something of the sort. From the smears on the sides of his mouth, it looked as if he'd been narrowly saved from drowning in his own blood.

"Mi scusi," Lisa Lisa said to the woman rolling him forward as she accidentally bumped into her, nearly knocking the nurse over. With an apologetic smile, she looked down at the patient, and laid her fingers around his head and neck. When the Italian nurse had recovered, her eyes widened at the sight of the patient climbing off of the gurney and pulling the bandage off of his face with a confused expression. The nurse's jaw dropped, hands hovering motionless in the air, whatever she'd been about to say forgotten. Lisa Lisa indicated the burn victims who, really, probably needed more urgent attention in the first place, and went on to her next patient.

The next body that Lisa Lisa laid her fingers on was, technically speaking, dead. The fair haired little girl - no more than six or seven - wasn't breathing, and Lisa Lisa's trained fingers felt no pulse when they scanned her carotid artery. However, the little body was still warm. The lungs might have still had water in them, but that was a solvable problem as long as she had an intact diaphragm to work with and the nerves hadn't yet had time to decay.

She hadn't actually done this before. But she'd been walked through the process by people who had. If she failed, it wasn't as if the child's situation would get any worse.

The first step, of course, would have to be letting the body process air again. It needed oxygen, and - Lisa Lisa had learned from more esoteric sources - it needed the invisible power left in those molecules by the previous day's worth of sunlight. Fortunately, an intact diaphragm was easy to take the wheel of, assuming you knew what you were doing and had the ripple output to light those nerve endings. She pulled up the little girl's shirt and placed her fingers carefully around her lower chest and upper stomach. Sharp ripple pulses, accompanied by sharp - but not too sharp - jabbing motions into the underside of the muscle. The chest heaved, and a malformed, gurgling cough that almost made Lisa Lisa wince emerged from the parted lips. She pushed down again, after sending out another ripple pulse, and this time she felt the diaphragm contract sharply. This cough was louder, and uglier, and accompanied by a volume of foul seawater that exited the child's mouth and nostrils.

This part was working. Lisa Lisa hadn't doubted that it would, though. The part of the operation she was most worried about was restarting the heart.

She repeated the process for two more pulses. The next cough had less water coming up. The one after it had none. That was probably as clear as the lungs were going to get, then. Now, to direct a charge straight into the heart and hope the nerves connecting it to the brain were still in good enough shape. She adjusted her hands upward, looking for the heart area, when the little girl opened her eyes.

Lisa Lisa's hands stopped in place, half an inch from the child's skin. But...how could that? Some sort of autonomic reaction? Did she channel the energy more clumsily than she realized, and somehow reach all the way up to the eyelids?

No, no that wasn't it. The girl coughed. On her own. No further input from Lisa, or even physical contact with her skin. Then, a rattling, choking breath, air coming in and then being sputtered out. The girl's torso wriggled. Not a sharp twitch like you would get from energizing the nerves from outside. She was clearly trying to move.

She had no idea how this could have happened, or even exactly what had happened. But, she knew, as soon as she felt the weak vibrations of the girl's heartbeat unsteadily rising, that helping her breathe on her own was the best she could do. Murmuring words that the child almost certainly couldn't understand in the most comforting voice Lisa Lisa could manage, she turned the girl over to make sure no water trickled back down her trachea, and kept a continuous, low intensity ripple-to-waves pattern in her own breath to help the body heal if it could.

…​

"Ha detto che ho assorbito la magia come una spugna!" The girl chimed in, jumping up onto her tiptoes and grabbing the edge of the table to look at Straizo again. She said I soaked up the magic like a sponge!

Straizo locked his eyes on the beaming pair at the table's edge, and narrowed them slightly before looking back at his successor. "She understands English?"

Lisa Lisa was silent, but not in her usual, stony way. More like she was actually on the spot and at a loss for words. "I...it seems that she does."

Straizo looked back at the upper half of the little girl's face where it peered up from between her hands. "Do you understand what I'm saying to you, child?"

The girl stared at him blankly.

He waited a few moments to see if she changed her expression, or said anything at all in the way of a response. When she didn't, he addressed Lisa Lisa again without taking his eyes off the girl. "She understood a word like sponge? That's rather esoteric, for beginner's English."

"Ah. No." Lisa Lisa said. "She asked me what I was saying when she regained consciousness, a few hours later. I had to use an Italian dictionary."

He was quiet for an even longer minute. This time, he kept his attention on both of the others, not sure which of them to trust less at this point. His tea was probably getting cold, but he could hardly care. When the silence was broken, it was by the little girl again.

"Allora, POSSO avere del tè? Per favoooore?"

Straizo pushed his own half-empty cup across the table and left it a few inches from the far edge. Lisa Lisa, after giving him a silent request for permission and being given an impatient scowl in return, picked up the glass and held it within the child's reach. "Fai attenzione, Susie," she said in her halting Italian, "è bollente." Be careful, Susie, it's hot.

Straizo didn't respond as the little girl, Susie, thanked him enthusiastically and proceeded to spit out a gulp of tea that must have been a little warmer than she'd expected. As the fluff of silvery blond hair disappeared back behind the table, he asked Lisa Lisa "Why do you think she came back to life on her own?"

Tearing her concerned face away from the sputtering girl and trying to look businesslike again, Lisa Lisa replied "The only explanation I can think of is that she has a familiar spirit."

Straizo nodded his head, glad to see that Lisa Lisa hadn't forgotten her knowledge along with her propriety. "She does," he said quietly, "of that there can be no doubt." Lisa Lisa must have known what he was going to say next, but he said it anyway. "Spirit masters do not always react well to our art."

Lisa Lisa pushed her lips together more tightly. "Well, in this case…"

…​

The pigeons took panicked flight, leaving a small cloud of feathers rolling through the air to the pavement behind them. Susie's hand closed around one of them, and she looked up at the escaping birds with a frown. "L'avevo quasi preso stavolta! Quasi!" I almost got him that time! Almost!

Lisa Lisa stopped in place, halfway between the fountain she'd been sitting by when the child suddenly dashed away, and the girl in question. The morning sun caught in Susie's hair, making it shine almost like real electrum after the brushing and combing Lisa Lisa had given it. A couple of passers-by stared at the rambunctious child, but not nearly as hard as Lisa Lisa.

She was dead less than twelve hours ago. You don't almost catch a pigeon less than a day after that. You don't even want to catch pigeons at that point. Not even if you're her age.

It had been flabbergasting enough when Susie asked if they could go on a walk. Now, just fifteen minutes later, this.

"Signora Lisa Lisa!" Susie's disappointed expression lightened in a flash as she turned back toward the woman who had played at least some role in her resurrection, even if Lisa Lisa wasn't sure exactly how much of one. "Tenga questa piuma!" Lisa Lisa didn't actually know the word piuma, but the way Susie waved the pigeon feather in front of her as she ran back toward her made its meaning obvious. Five feet away from her, the girl tripped over her own feet and sprawled out across the pavement. There was a moment of silence that Lisa Lisa knew - as anyone who had ever been around children that age would know - was about to be broken by crying. Hoping to stop that before it could start, Lisa Lisa dashed the rest of the way to the fallen Susie and cycled some quick ripple breaths as she knelt over her.

Susie did start crying, but it barely lasted ten seconds before the girl realized that the pain had stopped. She pushed herself up onto her no longer skinned knees, and then stood.

"Come ha fatto?" she asked, looking up at Lisa Lisa's sunglasses with wonder on her little face. How did you do that?

"Magia."
Lisa Lisa gave her the same answer as last time. She knew she'd never be able to explain the Ripples of the Sun and the art of channeling them in Italian, even if the laws of the Order didn't restrict her from speaking of such things so openly. "Magic" was a good enough explanation. And, to be perfectly honest, Lisa Lisa always felt guilty about letting ignorant people go on not believing in magic.

"Wow." Susie lowered the pigeon feather and stared at the tall woman in renewed awe. "Diceva la verità." You were telling the truth.

Lisa Lisa couldn't help but smile. This was what, her fifth smile of the morning? Her sixth? That was more than she'd had in at least the preceding week. A pang of guilt immediately followed that realization, but she quickly stamped it out. No. She wouldn't let her mind go back there. She had no more excuse for it, after all these years.

"Mi sento tutta…" I feel all… Susie said a word whose meaning Lisa Lisa didn't know. The girl was grasping her own wrists in turn, and giggling a little, as if something were tickling her just slightly. "È questa la magia?" Is that the magic?

Lisa Lisa's smile came back before it had finished fading away, and she shook her head. "No." She'd given Susie a very small infusion, just enough to heal the abrasions on her knees and palms.

"Davvero?" The freckled little face grew concerned. "C'è qualcosa di strano allora. Mi sento strana. Come se…" There's something wrong then. I feel weird. Like I'm… more words followed that Lisa Lisa didn't understand.

Some aftereffect from whatever happened last night? Weakness and tiredness from the resuscitation coming back to hit her all at once, after its mysterious day-long absence? Beginning to become concerned herself, Lisa Lisa put a hand to Susie's forehead, feeling for any changes in temperature or heartbeat. She felt neither of those things, however. Only the tingle of ripple energy flowing back from Susie's body into her own.

For the second time in less than a day, Lisa Lisa nearly startled back away from the girl. That didn't make any sense. The amount of energy she had given the girl's body should have been nearly all used up healing the scrapes, and any leftover would have diffused out into the air around her body within a few seconds at the longest. She'd have to have used an advanced Shifting Of Sand maneuver to make it stay coherent outside of Lisa Lisa's own body any longer than that, unless Susie was ripple-activated herself. Which she wasn't. Lisa Lisa had checked.

"Mi sento meglio ora." Susie said. I feel better now.

As she stared in bewilderment at the child, Lisa Lisa thought back to last night, when she'd pumped the water out of her lungs. Her heart started on its own, I thought. Maybe I was wrong. If her body is some sort of...natural ripple reservoir, for some reason...then when I charged her diaphragm…

"Lasciami provare una cosa,"
Lisa Lisa whispered to the girl. Let me try something. Susie looked excited, and stood up straight as Lisa Lisa took a deep breath in through her mouth and forced it out quickly between her teeth. She'd give the girl a slightly bigger infusion, and then see how long her body stayed charged.

…​

"It's like she said herself, Master." Lisa Lisa took the empty cup back from the girl named Susie and poured it full again before handing it back to Straizo. "She's a sponge. Her body uses any ripple it absorbs more efficiently than mine does, and any excess stays in her until it's used for something else."

Straizo said nothing. Spirit-masters were rare. Ones who had beneficial reactions to the ripple, rather than detrimental or simply bizarre ones, were rarer still. The threads of destiny were showing themselves before him. As a young man, he'd have ignored them. After certain events he'd witnessed thirty-two years ago, and lessons taught to him by Master Tonpetti in the time since, however, he'd learned better.

Lisa Lisa took the final sip from her own glass, and waited longer. Finally, Straizo decided it was on him to speak now.

"I see." He wrapped his thin old hands around his refilled glass and looked down at the part of the table Susie was likely behind. "It would be a waste not to train her."

"My thoughts exactly, Master." The big woman looked relieved, though she was trying to hide it. He supposed she was right to be nervous about how he'd react. Especially since she hadn't let him know about this beforehand. That, by the way, was something she should have done.

"You've spoken to the girl's family, then?"

Lisa Lisa shook her head, causing her long, black hair to shimmer in the sunlight as it swished before her broad shoulders. "She's an orphan."

Ah. That might be fortuitous, sad though it no doubt was for the child. "You've spoken to her caretakers, then?"

The expression on his successor's face looked pained. Behind the sunglasses, he knew, she was probably wincing. Straizo's own eyes narrowed, and his fingers tightened around his glass.

"You've spoken to her caretakers, then?" He repeated, slowly and icily.

Her head hung. As if twenty years had just been stripped away from her, and she was an awkward teenaged novice at the monastery once again. Straizo felt his pulse in his head. There were easy techniques for calming himself down, but this situation did not call for calm.

"She ran away from her orphanage," Lisa Lisa said, still looking down at the floor between her feet, "and snuck aboard that ferry. I asked her which orphanage it was and…" she shuffled uncomfortably, almost long enough for Straizo to open his mouth again, before continuing "...she said she couldn't remember. She might be lying, but if she is I can't get her to tell the truth."

He still felt his pulse. Lisa Lisa raised her head partway again, risking a look at the new grand Swami of the Ripple Order. Straizo looked down into his murky orange tea. Slowly, he let out a sigh.

"You kidnapped an orphan girl."

"It was her idea."

"You took your directions from a seven year old girl over the law."

"I told you, I didn't have anywhere else to leave her."

Straizo glared at her, harder and sharper than he ever had before. She wouldn't be able to deny it, when he made his accusation. They both already knew it would be true, and that she'd have no answer to it. Seconds ticked by. Overhead, seagulls called. A cloud passed over the sun, turning the deck a darker shade of gray and changing the tea from murky orange to something like crimson.

"You," Straizo said, keeping his voice very carefully measured, "will ask at every orphanage and cottage in Venice until you have found the one Susanna came from. When you have found it, you will contact me immediately and await my instructions." He wondered, as he spoke, what the most prudent decision would be, when that happened. Lisa Lisa's immigration status in Italy was not something they wanted scrutiny applied to. One of the underlings that sometimes stayed here with the Guardian of the Aja, then? He'd have to review the possible candidates. The best option would be to move the child to Bengal, but the legality of that would be more complicated still.

"You don't want me to just put her back?" Lisa Lisa had regained her composure, for the most part. But there was still more emotion, more reflexiveness in her voice, than she usually showed.

Straizo pursed his lips. "Of course not. What if someone adopts her?"

Lisa Lisa raised her head the rest of the way back up. "Thank you, Master," she said, her voice quiet.

"Hmm." He took a sip from his second cup of tea and looked over across the deck, at where Susie was now standing. The girl was watching a seagull perched on one of the battlements, a predator's steely gleam in her eyes. "I can't say this is a good start to your career as Guardian." He pursed his lips again, and adjusted his saffron hood where it had started bunching up behind his neck. "But if you can be entrusted with the Aja, I suppose you can be trusted with her as well."

Lisa Lisa adjusted her sunglasses. She'd regained her composure fully now, sitting sternly in her own tall, imposing frame once more. Across the deck, a panicked seagull took flight, having just narrowly evaded capture.

"We won't let you down."



...

Author's Note: Special thanks to Suppergiulia for her help with the Italian.
 
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Well!

That does explain why she's on the island!

Now Lisa Lisa actually doesn't seems to like being in her present situation, but since Pillar Men busy resting... is it still vampire attack? Or something else? Wonder~
 
Very happy to see more content from this verse as ever. Lisa Lisa's characterization is interesting, the dynamic between her and Straizo is entertaining while shedding light on the internal structure of the Sendo Monks.
 
An Englishman In New York
Good Time #3: an Englishman In New York


When met face to face, Robert Edward Orville Speedwagon is both exactly the man one would expect and the exact opposite. While he wears the top hat and waistcoat expected of one of America's most successful entrepreneurs, the scars across his face tell an older, murkier story of a youth spent on the mean streets of last-century London. This final detail, which sets Mr. Speedwagon's origins apart from those of his peer industrialists, is what leads critics to call him a symbol of the undercurrent criminality of America's nouveau riche, and admirers to point to him as living, breathing proof of the American dream.

"I'd like to say all of it's down to my razor sharp intellect and godly work ethic," Mr. Speedwagon jokes as he shares a pot of black coffee with TIME's interviewers, "but it's got as much to do with luck as anything, and being in the right place at the right time. This nose can smell good investments, it can."

The first notable investment of Mr. Speedwagon's life – his marriage to the just-widowed Erina Joestar (née Pendleton) shortly after their immigration to the United States – may have laid the groundwork for the Speedwagon business empire. The legal documentation corroborates the man's own story, however, when he claims to have launched his first enterprise in the acquisition of obscure pharmaceutical company Fiddler's Green in 1892 with only a one time investment from the Joestar & Bunton spice company. The latter remains financially independent and under his wife's complete ownership to this day. Mr. Speedwagon claims to have not needed to take another loan from his wife's company until 1900, when Fiddler's Green – now one of the nation's leading cannabis producers and distributors – faced an increasingly competitive market, leading Mr. Speedwagon to diversify his holdings while continuing to reinvest the bulk of Fiddler's Green's profits back into the company itself. It was during his personal participation in a string of oil-prospecting expeditions in central Texas that Mr. Speedwagon smelled his best investment yet.

"It's the funniest thing," he comments after finishing his first cup and pouring a second, "I really was just trying to get some more aeronautic experience. Had just got my pilot's license, see. And, well, after a few surveys we got lucky."

The rest, as they say, is history. Robert and Erina Joestar-Speedwagon's business interests doubled and then quadrupled off the profits of the brand new Movin Oil company, now second only to the former Standard Oil Company remnants among the American-based fossil fuel giants. To this day, the bulk of the Speedwagon business empire remains under Robert Edward Orville's ownership, while Erina retains the comparatively minor Joestar & Bunton Spices and Dyes. Both Speedwagons, however, have contributed proportionally equal amounts of their profits to philanthropy. The Washington DC based Speedwagon Foundation, first established after the success of Movin Oil in 1909, has gained international recognition in recent years for its advances in medical research, ethnography, and – somewhat surprisingly – archaeology.

"The medical part is down to Erina, of course. She was a nurse back in England. The rest…well, I suppose you could say it's our final tribute to JoJo. He'd just been about to graduate as an archaeologist before the fire." He refers here to Jonathan Joestar, Erina's previous husband who died in a housefire in England. Mr. Speedwagon's face grows preemptively exhausted as the topic of the late Mr. Joestar comes up. Hardly surprising, given the ongoing shadow the deadly Joestar fire has cast over the Speedwagons' reputation.

"If you want to see the 1889 London Times articles, I've still got copies." Mr. Speedwagon says, looking and sounding his age for the first time since the start of the interview, referring to coverage of the deadly fire. Investigators ultimately concluded that an estranged sibling of the wealthy Jonathan Joestar was responsible for setting the fire in a grandiose act of revenge. However, the exact sequence of events – with the arson taking place only days after the titled Mr. Joestar's marriage to Erina, who was near the house along with Robert at the time – continues to generate ugly rumors. So too does the disappearance of the Speedwagons' only child, reportedly fathered by the late Mr. Joestar, who vanished from public life at age twenty-eight before being claimed by the Spanish Flu the following year, leaving the elderly couple with a single grandson to look after.

"We've both done our best to make time for the lad," Speedwagon says when asked about his ten year old grandson, "I've even taken him on business trips to Europe since he was old enough to understand what was going on. Already speaks French and German, he does. Can't wait until I can teach him to fly." Whatever rumors might circulate about their family history, the pride in Mr. Speedwagon's voice when the topic of his grandson rises is unmistakably genuine.

Aviation has been Mr. Speedwagon's best known hobby ever since it led to his oil success at the turn of the century. While his own investments in the automotive industries have been mostly limited to automobile and railroad car production, Mr. Speedwagon claims to have merely "not yet gotten around" to making aeroplanes a part of his professional life as well as his personal one. He also expresses a desire to add an aeronautics research division to the nonprofit Speedwagon Foundation.

When the coffee pot is emptied, Mr. Speedwagon's personal assistant brings another. Like her employer, the woman retains a subdued British accent through the acquired New York City dialect. Several of Mr. Speedwagon's personal staff share this trait. When asked, he claims that he's known them for longer than he's known his wife.

"She's been working for my sister and I since before I was in any sort of investment business," Mr. Speedwagon says fondly. The woman smiles brightly, and jokes that it's been this way "ever since he and Clara were my pimps." Both laugh uproariously. One assumes that the Speedwagon inner circle has had to learn a sense of humor to deal with the ongoing rumor mongering. Mr. Speedwagon's late sister never followed her brother to the United States, but one of her children currently holds a managerial position at his uncle's nonprofit.

"It's almost a right penny-dreadful, our little family is," Mr. Speedwagon continues to joke, "The rags have made us all very exciting, present company excluded I'm sure." This writer can only hope that TIME's article will live up to Mr. Speedwagon's exacting standards. "But, you know," he continues, returning the focus of his humor to self-deprecation, "we both know you'd be off interviewing Mr. Chrysler if I wasn't quite so scandalous."

Scandalously or otherwise, Mr. Robert Speedwagon is one of the later generation of businessmen who took root, grew, and thrived in the soil cleared by President Roosevelt's trustbusting actions. His rags-to-riches life story, as well as his seemingly earnest philanthropy, puts a friendlier face on the twentieth century's business world than the nineteenth's. With Movin Oil's expansion into Eurasian markets, and more recently ascendant automobile company SwiftCoach beginning to compete seriously with established industry leaders Chrysler, Rolls Royce, and Chevrolet, an argument could also be made for Mr. Speedwagon and his peers heralding a new peak of American economic power around the world.

As we work our way into the second pot of coffee, we ask Mr. Speedwagon if he has any advice for aspiring entrepreneurs seeking to follow his inspiring example. "I wish I could say there was a recipe," Speedwagon answers, "but the scary truth of it is it's mostly down to luck. I didn't work harder, or even smarter, than plenty of others who never made it. Being honest, there's a part of me that expects to be back on the streets any month." Even when pressed on his remarkable track record of stock market success, he merely shakes his head and chuckles. "Like I said, mostly just luck. For instance, I just put my biggest investment in the last few years into the Electric Boat Company. Couldn't tell you why it's a good investment, or even if it really is a good investment. I just follow my nose."


-Man of the Year, TIME Magazine 1928.
 
SwiftCoach! SwiftCoach!

I'm glad that Robert and Erina are livign their best lives and staying as moral as it is possible for big buisness owners and totally not orginised crime lords

its cool to see them building up information and institutional power that the Pillarmen won't think to check on or prevent as well.
 
I really do enjoy the chance to experience an outside/not in the know perspective on a tangled up in the supernatural character.

The little in jokes made by the cast and the less than pleasant rumours that surround Robert and Erina give the piece a nice sense of depth.
 
Electric boat. It's been years since I last watched part 2, but... is that a foreshadowing to something.

It probably is, but I honestly don't know.
 
If You Were There
Good Time #4: If You Were There


There are certainly viler books in today's oversaturated market than C. W. Pyke's "The Adventures of John Gabriel: the Slaying of Jack the Ripper," but in this particular title and its neverending procession of sequels one sees a disturbing trend in the reception such works (to use the word generously) receive. I am not in the business of pretending that there is no market for pornography, or that our nation's publishing houses have ever been adequately scrupulous in discouraging it. Rather, what one cannot help but grimace at is the innocent presentation of the John Gabriel novels as simple pulp adventure novels rather than the almost compulsively fixated series of vulgar descriptions and depraved characters that they are. Goodness knows what would have happened to the publisher that attempted to market such material alongside merely typically tasteless penny-dreadfuls a mere decade ago.


In broad summary, "John Gabriel" differs but little from the glut of recent fantastical adventure stories that today's youth so enjoy. A rather ludicrously intrepid hero figure, the titular Mr. John Gabriel pursues hidden monsters and secret witch-covens across the England of thirty years ago. Pyke's success may be in part down to lucky coincidence. The recent obsession with vampires brought about by the popular "Nosferatu" moving picture has instilled in the public an appetite for ghouls and blood-drinkers, and it so happened that such creatures appear as Gabriel's most frequently recurring nemeses. Were these books published a few years later, one might readily conclude that Mr. Pyke was simply chasing the easy money. With the publication dates that we have, at least this kind of cynicism cannot be definitely added to Pyke's already overlong list of faults as an author. That the blood and gore released in Gabriel's repetitive confrontations with the supernatural is excessively detailed even by the standards of pulp adventure stories is, while unfortunate, only a minor departure from the norm for such tales. The prose with which these battles and investigations are related is uncreative and poor in vocabulary, and most of the plot twists and developments cliched and paint-by-numbers, but in these regards the stories are merely unremarkably mediocre. Far more objectionable than the hero's monstrous adversaries and his bloody method of dealing with them are his allies and companions, and the nature of this man - who is presented without criticism as a figure to be admired by the reader, including probably young readers - and his lifestyle and habits outside of his monster-slaying career.

Most lurid among these habits, of both John Gabriel the character and C. W. Pyke the author, is a veritable obsession with harlotry. From the very second chapter of "The Slaying of Jack the Ripper" in which he makes his introductory appearance, our heroic Mr. Gabriel enters the story surrounded by disreputable women. His companions in the train car that first brings him to London are (through messy and unconvincing coincidence) an assortment of harlots. The "gentleman" he came to the city to meet, it is revealed a chapter later, is the son of an obnoxiously chipper London brothel-madam who has not left his family history far behind. Mr. Gabriel's first confrontation with his vampiric nemesis, likewise, is fought over the life of yet another unrelated prostitute, who likewise remains a recurring character for the remainder of the novel (and indeed, the series). In fact, one quickly gets the impression that C. W. Pyke chose to fictionalize Jack the Ripper because that particular maniac's choice in victims would allow the author to indulge his bizarre obsession.

If it were only the over-abundance of prostitution in these books that one had to complain about, they would be merely unremarkably puerile and not worth spilling ink over. What makes the John Gabriel novels so unpleasantly remarkable is the manner in which they go out of their way to actually promote and lionize such activities. At no point in "The Slaying of Jack the Ripper" do any of these ladies-of-ill-repute seek redemption or atonement, nor does it ever (at least so far as the author sees fit to reveal, in his overly purple eruditions of Mr. Gabriel's inner thoughts) occur to the "hero" to attempt anything of the sort despite his own apparent wealth and breeding. This is no Mary Magdalene tale, but neither is it mere pornography. Rather, these novels seem to be of the opinion that prostitution is as mundane and unobjectionable a profession as carpentry or plumbing, and doesn't so much as acknowledge the scandalous nature of the protagonist's association with them. In fact, the only times the author acknowledges the harmfulness of vice is when he presents the harlots as innocent victims of the surrounding men, acknowledging no fault of character of their own. "If I had to choose between Jack the Ripper and syphilis," remarks one of these characters in the fifth chapter of the first novel, "I'd take the murderer." Mr. Gabriel defeats the murderer by novel's end, but the topic of syphilis - and the much direr threat it presents - is never again acknowledged or addressed.

Where this repugnantly tolerant approach to the subject matter reaches its absolute nadir is in the novel's handling of one Miss Eleanor Linseed, eventual love interest of Mr. Gabriel's and one of a vanishingly small number of women in the story to not be a prostitute. To begin with, she is in fact written as a rather tiresomely typical, though wholesome nonetheless, example of middle class virtue. It is to Mr. Gabriel's credit (and also, one must allow, Mr. Pyke's) that he has eyes only for Miss Linseed and nary a thought of the intimate kind for the endless procession of strumpets. Much less creditable is the trajectory taken by Miss Linseed herself under our ostensible hero's influence. Twice in the first novel alone, Miss Linseed - in defiance of her own spoken reservations - sleeps overnight in one of the brothels that Mr. Gabriel is always (chastely) frequenting. Her closest female friend by the end of the second novel, "The Hunt Across Africa," is none other than the prostitute her paramour rescued from blood-drinking death in the first novel, who remains actively and happily engaged in her chosen profession throughout. Miss Linseed, it appears, has lost the natural and healthy fear of syphilis that she possessed during her initial introduction and gained in turn a far less grounded fear of the bloodthirsty dead. And so too, one fears, might a reader of insufficient worldliness and moral fortitude.

The C. W. Pyke novels' celebration of vice and indecency - their seeming assertion that the underworld of sin and criminality is merely a foreign country that one can innocently visit - is not limited to prostitution. One could easily write another article altogether about Mr. Gabriel's other longterm companion - a murderous thief of an orphan boy who the stories name only as Pie Grease - or his guide and mentor in the second book - a nameless Indian monk who leads Mr. Gabriel, Miss Linseed, and their companions in the practice of a nauseating pagan ritual in the interest of defeating yet another vampire without any hesitation or spiritual resistance from the alleged Christians (why a priest could not be employed to perform the same role, only Mr. Pyke knows). The harlotry-obsession is only the most abundant and frequently relevant of these indulgences, for reasons that the author would likely prefer no one ask.

This is what troubles the discerning reader and critic about the John Gabriel novels moreso than other tawdry literature of its general sort. The world it imagines, and that it slyly encourages its readers to imagine without ever saying so in as many words, is one in which vampires and black magic aren't even the tenth biggest problem, but it would have you think that they are. Not because of any intentional cunning or malice of the author's, but simply because of who he seemingly is.


-Leland Heinz, The Manchester Review, 1920
 
Well thats's certainly an amusing look at the realities of cultural perspective and how something progressive can be condemned as puerile.

I do like how loosely adapting the London era Jojo adventures into an available to everyone narrative offends some people with the implications, criminals that can be allies, prostitution being just a somewhat risky-degrading job and faiths/teachings outside of Christianity having something worthwhile to offer are notions that would rub some people the wrong way.

Always a pleasure to see more content from this verse and while I look forward to the sequel proper these world building pieces are great additions to the continuity.
 
While by 1920 people are definitely loosening up a little, the reviewer is clearly a confused holdover from the Victorian era who dropped his monocle the first time he saw an auto-mobile carriage and never found it again. :p
 
I'm assuming that Kars, in another show of weird Pillar Man honor, decided to anonymously immortalize the exploits of his enemies among the humans of the world, so that fictional semblances of them might receive the respect that they deserve for their deeds, and he also didn't understand weird Victorian norms about sexuality.

I believe this theory to be irrefutable and will not be accepting arguments against it, nor will I be elaborating further.
 
Good Time #4: If You Were There
I feel like you aren't quite ideological-turing-testing the case against whoredom as well as I'd like, and the 'even the tenth biggest problem' line felt more like you than like the in-universe author.
Regardless, you really managed to hit the 'coding oneself as an expert without actually having efficient explanations' tone, on purpose, after gaining access to alternatives. That seems quite an accomplishment. Feel good about it!
 
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