The Steep Path Ahead [Familiar of Zero AU]
- Thread starter shadenight123
- Start date
- Pronouns
- she/her
Likes and dislikes of this arc:
Saito finally got character development! It's not really what I would describe as positive development, but it's there!
He has now learned that he doesn't actually have to concede when confronted with a strong argument. Even if he can't come up with a convincing counterpoint, he can still disagree and fight against the actions of the one making the argument.
A less nice way to put it: he learned that Might makes Right, and as the mightiest he has irrefutable evidence backing up his beliefs.
He has now learned that he doesn't actually have to concede when confronted with a strong argument. Even if he can't come up with a convincing counterpoint, he can still disagree and fight against the actions of the one making the argument.
A less nice way to put it: he learned that Might makes Right, and as the mightiest he has irrefutable evidence backing up his beliefs.
Saito really didn't feel like a White Knight during any of this. Nothing he did felt truly motivated by a moral code.
At the start of all this, Saito was unable to meaningfully challenge Julio's argument that war on the elves was the only answer. He accepted Julio's actions despite moral reservations, which is not what a White Knight would have done.
Then he was unable to avoid becoming the magic bomb familiar, which neutered much of the moral motivation from his subsequent actions. The moment Vittorio explained they were going to blow him up for the plan, Saito's moral reservations about genocide no longer mattered. It would now be suicide for him to cooperate, there was no real choice involved in his decision to oppose the Pope.
Even his desire to rescue Sylphid was tainted by the fact that Charlotte had left directions. Rather than his moral imperative to repay someone, it felt like he was once again blindly following orders.
The Elves did at least prove to be an antagonistic force rather than Water Spirit rescue 2.0, I give you props for that. However they still came out of nowhere, and largely neutered the threat Vittorio & Julio posed. Not only were the protagonists unable to meaningfully impact the Big Plot; the antagonists behind the Big Plot proved to be utterly helpless against this new faction's Bigger Plot.
When the Elves abruptly revealed themselves to be a Sword of Damocles over the Pope's army- honestly at that point, the Pope seemed entirely justified in trying to take the fight to them, though not the genocide. The Elves blatantly intended to keep the humans trapped on Halkegenia, and they initiated hostilities long before the Pope did by sending that ship.
Saito siding with the elves has got to be my least favorite moment. Not only was it yet another instance of him blindly following orders, he also got a shonen power up and became invincible. Why did his Gandalfr and Lifdrasil runes synergize so much better than Myoz....something... and Windalfr? His power level shot straight past Julio's, which killed any dramatic tension during their battle.
Not once did I feel he was in danger from anything the army threw at him. The only real "threat" was Saito passing out, and it's been long established that Derflinger would keep moving the body if he did. And of course the whole thing ended up not mattering, as Louise accomplishes his goal without even knowing about his deal with the elves.
Had Saito not woken up before she arrived, the army would still have been incapacitated and the elves would have been free to waltz in and sabotage the Void mages. Heck, had Louise not arrived and Saito remained unconscious the Elves would still have been able to incapacitate the army.
It's rather odd that Saito treated this ending as a victory. He got the Void mages condemned to permanent exile in another world, which if we're being honest is barely less of a punishment than being turned into meat puppets by the elves. It made very little sense for Louise to be okay with this ultimatum after the huge amounts of bullshit she went through to meet her true family.
Plus, he didn't even plan to stick around and ensure the elves actually helped the humans. That really came off as him being more concerned with maintaining his non-lethal streak than the solution he just forced onto everyone.
At the start of all this, Saito was unable to meaningfully challenge Julio's argument that war on the elves was the only answer. He accepted Julio's actions despite moral reservations, which is not what a White Knight would have done.
Then he was unable to avoid becoming the magic bomb familiar, which neutered much of the moral motivation from his subsequent actions. The moment Vittorio explained they were going to blow him up for the plan, Saito's moral reservations about genocide no longer mattered. It would now be suicide for him to cooperate, there was no real choice involved in his decision to oppose the Pope.
Even his desire to rescue Sylphid was tainted by the fact that Charlotte had left directions. Rather than his moral imperative to repay someone, it felt like he was once again blindly following orders.
The Elves did at least prove to be an antagonistic force rather than Water Spirit rescue 2.0, I give you props for that. However they still came out of nowhere, and largely neutered the threat Vittorio & Julio posed. Not only were the protagonists unable to meaningfully impact the Big Plot; the antagonists behind the Big Plot proved to be utterly helpless against this new faction's Bigger Plot.
When the Elves abruptly revealed themselves to be a Sword of Damocles over the Pope's army- honestly at that point, the Pope seemed entirely justified in trying to take the fight to them, though not the genocide. The Elves blatantly intended to keep the humans trapped on Halkegenia, and they initiated hostilities long before the Pope did by sending that ship.
Saito siding with the elves has got to be my least favorite moment. Not only was it yet another instance of him blindly following orders, he also got a shonen power up and became invincible. Why did his Gandalfr and Lifdrasil runes synergize so much better than Myoz....something... and Windalfr? His power level shot straight past Julio's, which killed any dramatic tension during their battle.
Not once did I feel he was in danger from anything the army threw at him. The only real "threat" was Saito passing out, and it's been long established that Derflinger would keep moving the body if he did. And of course the whole thing ended up not mattering, as Louise accomplishes his goal without even knowing about his deal with the elves.
Had Saito not woken up before she arrived, the army would still have been incapacitated and the elves would have been free to waltz in and sabotage the Void mages. Heck, had Louise not arrived and Saito remained unconscious the Elves would still have been able to incapacitate the army.
It's rather odd that Saito treated this ending as a victory. He got the Void mages condemned to permanent exile in another world, which if we're being honest is barely less of a punishment than being turned into meat puppets by the elves. It made very little sense for Louise to be okay with this ultimatum after the huge amounts of bullshit she went through to meet her true family.
Plus, he didn't even plan to stick around and ensure the elves actually helped the humans. That really came off as him being more concerned with maintaining his non-lethal streak than the solution he just forced onto everyone.
- Location
- The Old Dominion
Well admittedly from the lore I looked at its not just the halk humans the elves don't get along with. The humans from beyond the elven lands apparently while they do trade with the elves they also long standing hostilities with fighting erupting on and off with the elves with the humans their coping elven technology such as elven canons to use against the elves. Basically the elves don't have peaceful relations with any humans though they do trade with the humans that aren't from halk likely when they aren't fighting them.
Not that Saito would know that nor would the elves likely volunteer that information.
Not that Saito would know that nor would the elves likely volunteer that information.
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Heads up:
I will be waiting on any future chapters until the last light novels come out and some brief summary of what's in there comes out. Also, this will give me the much needed time to go through the literature suggestions and come up with a better way to rewrite the last chapters. Though one thing I'd like to ask the readers is at which 'cut-off' point you think it would be best to chop-chop and improve on it.
I will be waiting on any future chapters until the last light novels come out and some brief summary of what's in there comes out. Also, this will give me the much needed time to go through the literature suggestions and come up with a better way to rewrite the last chapters. Though one thing I'd like to ask the readers is at which 'cut-off' point you think it would be best to chop-chop and improve on it.
- Location
- Germany
chapter 20
No all jokes aside,
For me personally there were many ups and many many downs (especially regarding louise character development) in this story,
In my opinion if you were to 'cut' the story it may help, but may also screw with the flow of the story, it may seem like a to sudden change or it might not
Anyway in my honest opinion for a consistend story don't make a cut instead reread your entire story and then 'improve' it as it comes and let us see where it goes from there
Madou Sutegobana
Autocorrupt has been disabled.
- Location
- Twin Realms Mandala
It sounds like you are considering a rewrite of the ending chapters and are requesting ideas.
Please excuse me if I misunderstood that, as I mean no disrespect with my suggestions.
One thing I would appreciate changed is Marteu's death.
Not because I'm against character death in general, and not because of too much attachment to the character.
It's because he's a credible witness and the injured party to the mercenaries deceit.
See when He led the rescue attempt for Siesta, Marteu's the one who took a bandit captive, he's the one that was obviously in charge of the expedition, he's the one the bandits made a deal for a prisoner exchange with, and he's the one they deceived and beat unconscious!
And the claim of "Well they were just paying betrayal for betrayal" is untrue, because that was the first time they had met him.
They essentially cheated one man simply because he employed people they didn't like!
And Marteu spoke of being a retired adventurer, so he probably had some clout as well.
Unfortunately for Marteu it was likely those same bandits that silenced him, employed by Julio, using the excuse that he wouldn't surrender.
So if you'd please, I'd prefer if Marteu escaped that final showdown and spread the word that those mercenaries are liers, and that they broke the code and attempted to murder the witness/agreived party.
Another Change I'd appreciate would be for Saito to realize the true enemy is the bloodthirsty earth, and that Void Mages and their familiars can hurt it!
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I'm all for constructive improvement of the last few chapters, which definitely had their problems. These problems however reek of personal opinion, which really shouldn't get in the way of constructive improvement.
For the first one, it would have been nice and just if Marteu survived, but his not doing so did not make the story worse. It was horrible and unfair, and showed the mercenaries as scum if indeed they were the ones to do it, but that's not reason to take it out.
For the second, really? In a roundabout way it is, but are you seriously advocating that Saito of all people decide to kill the earth?
Madou Sutegobana
Autocorrupt has been disabled.
- Location
- Twin Realms Mandala
Well yeah, the Marteu one was personal opinion, as I wasn't aware there was some sort of bar against that.
As for killing the Earth, its the spirit of the earth I advocate killing, because if it wants the blood of innocents in recompense for the blood of monsters (and is arbitrary about whose blood it wants) then it is something that can be done without!
Fair enough. I personally would rather suggestions be about fixing the problems with his story rather than what you'd just like to happen, but you're right in that there isn't exactly a bar against that...
You actually have a point. I just think it's horrendously out of character for Saito to literally kill the spirit of a planet.
Madou Sutegobana
Autocorrupt has been disabled.
- Location
- Twin Realms Mandala
I really don't have much ideas for fixing the story that weren't come up with by someone else. However Marteu living could spin off an entirely new plot that might season Saito enough to make different decisions given more time. For instance if he managed to tell Tiffania that it wasn't elves!
I have to agree, I can't really think of a good method for Saito to come to that conclusion. It is possible for him to determine the planets at fault, but he wouldn't condone killing it.
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Madou Sutegobana
Autocorrupt has been disabled.
- Location
- Twin Realms Mandala
I actually was musing on what could actually cause spiritually 'dead' rocks to become infuse with wind magic, when I came to the independent conclusion of their being acted on by an outside force.
The reason being that these large rocks rising to the surface are from deep underground. Far from Void Mages, regular Mages, or any elemental spirit of the air.
If rocks on the surface were suddenly taking off shortly after Void Mages kill a wind spirit that would suggest a direct relationship. If the crisis were that large acres of land started being unresponsive to magic that would suggest an indirect pollution.
However Rock masses the size of mountains rising out of the ground and once free of the earths gradp losing their momentum to float a bit before they fall, that's outside forces at play. They had to have been fine tuned to produce that result
Also if they were randomly scattered across the continent of Halkeginia at varying depths and varying levels of energy, they wouldn't pose a threat to life on Halkeginia. They would break free of the earth at most likely sparsely populated areas and either escape the gravity well or float around in the sky for decades to centuries before settling gently down.
Where they land would also be completely random as they could drift as far as the Elven Lands and beyond before settling!
Any that would not escape into space would be rising through the earth itself very slowly, but rapid enough to be noticed. Because once they break free they'd get a large increase in velocity!
They'd essentially be sinkholes with a solid windstone where the air bubble would be.
The reason being that these large rocks rising to the surface are from deep underground. Far from Void Mages, regular Mages, or any elemental spirit of the air.
If rocks on the surface were suddenly taking off shortly after Void Mages kill a wind spirit that would suggest a direct relationship. If the crisis were that large acres of land started being unresponsive to magic that would suggest an indirect pollution.
However Rock masses the size of mountains rising out of the ground and once free of the earths gradp losing their momentum to float a bit before they fall, that's outside forces at play. They had to have been fine tuned to produce that result
Also if they were randomly scattered across the continent of Halkeginia at varying depths and varying levels of energy, they wouldn't pose a threat to life on Halkeginia. They would break free of the earth at most likely sparsely populated areas and either escape the gravity well or float around in the sky for decades to centuries before settling gently down.
Where they land would also be completely random as they could drift as far as the Elven Lands and beyond before settling!
Any that would not escape into space would be rising through the earth itself very slowly, but rapid enough to be noticed. Because once they break free they'd get a large increase in velocity!
They'd essentially be sinkholes with a solid windstone where the air bubble would be.
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Epilogue
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
AN: Honestly, the idea had been to wait on the LN's endings. Then I forgot about this, gave it a quick once-over a couple of times over the years, thought 'Eh, this looks pretty much finished already' and never bothered putting the word 'Epilogue' on it. Seeing how this is 6 years old, I'm just going to be brief with this. So, it ain't the best thing ever possible, but it's a good way of letting readers know 'This ain't getting anything more.'
And when they shall ask, 'Who is the Necromancer that we are all terrified of', then the answer shall be one only. "Shadenight123".
Epilogue.
One could have argued that power wasn't meant to make right or wrong. Then again, that wasn't true for medieval societies, and it also wasn't true for modern societies. Power had simply shifted hands. It wasn't militarily that one accrued power in 'civilized' times, but with wealth.
Because if wealth got you the best lawyers, the best education, the best chances at being in a position of power, then by all definitions of the term, it became the new form and shape of power.
The fact that gold had a certain standard value, and magic was still apparently viable in a different world altogether meant very little for one Hiraga Saito and Louise Françoise de la Valliere. It meant something a bit more for the Pope and his familiar, who found themselves bereft of their entire religion's support.
Charlotte handled it well enough. Then again, she had quite a few bars of gold to trade, and with enough wealth even trifling things such as 'Identity Cards' could be forged. She had the right complexion for 'rich noble heiress from old Europe', and she fit right into the stereotype of 'Tourist' that nobody bothered her much for the years that came afterwards.
Tiffania was a bit different. Mostly because Saito had to beat up with a stick -when it wasn't a sword- those who came looking for her in the hopes of scoring the greatest Gravure Idol this side of the worlds had ever seen. The sharp ears were easy to shrug off too! Cosplay was an easy answer, and surgery to make them pointy possible, if bizarre.
Saito's return home was the one that held the greatest amount of shed tears, shock, accusations, further cries, and then things settled. They settled in well enough that, a few years later, the wedding between him and his 'European student from beyond the sea' was pretty much a fait accomplit that didn't even make it past the local news.
It was, and at the same time wasn't, the kind of ending that a 'They lived happily ever after' was made of. It did involve love, friendships slowly being mended, new family members coming into the fray, and thankfully, -truly, thankfully- there never again was a need for the Gandalfr to return to Halkeginia.
The elves, once the threat of the Void was long gone, split between following through with their promises or letting the humans die. In the end, they chose to avoid piling more corpses on the tally of the world's cruelty, and aided them. Relations between the races were frosty at first, but over time became easier and easier.
Wardes' children would never inherit the Void, and being stuck in a marriage with Eleanor ended up being punishment enough for the crimes committed, yet never discovered.
Photos would be exchanged between the Valliere family of Halkeginia and beyond, and some say that the knowledge of having become a grandmother made Karin happy enough that she actually broke into a honest smile and kept it there until the day she allowed Death to come take her away -and even then, some say Death had to say 'pretty please Karin, you're 134 years old, let's go please'.
But still, all was good.
And all lived happily.
The End.
And when they shall ask, 'Who is the Necromancer that we are all terrified of', then the answer shall be one only. "Shadenight123".
Epilogue.
One could have argued that power wasn't meant to make right or wrong. Then again, that wasn't true for medieval societies, and it also wasn't true for modern societies. Power had simply shifted hands. It wasn't militarily that one accrued power in 'civilized' times, but with wealth.
Because if wealth got you the best lawyers, the best education, the best chances at being in a position of power, then by all definitions of the term, it became the new form and shape of power.
The fact that gold had a certain standard value, and magic was still apparently viable in a different world altogether meant very little for one Hiraga Saito and Louise Françoise de la Valliere. It meant something a bit more for the Pope and his familiar, who found themselves bereft of their entire religion's support.
Charlotte handled it well enough. Then again, she had quite a few bars of gold to trade, and with enough wealth even trifling things such as 'Identity Cards' could be forged. She had the right complexion for 'rich noble heiress from old Europe', and she fit right into the stereotype of 'Tourist' that nobody bothered her much for the years that came afterwards.
Tiffania was a bit different. Mostly because Saito had to beat up with a stick -when it wasn't a sword- those who came looking for her in the hopes of scoring the greatest Gravure Idol this side of the worlds had ever seen. The sharp ears were easy to shrug off too! Cosplay was an easy answer, and surgery to make them pointy possible, if bizarre.
Saito's return home was the one that held the greatest amount of shed tears, shock, accusations, further cries, and then things settled. They settled in well enough that, a few years later, the wedding between him and his 'European student from beyond the sea' was pretty much a fait accomplit that didn't even make it past the local news.
It was, and at the same time wasn't, the kind of ending that a 'They lived happily ever after' was made of. It did involve love, friendships slowly being mended, new family members coming into the fray, and thankfully, -truly, thankfully- there never again was a need for the Gandalfr to return to Halkeginia.
The elves, once the threat of the Void was long gone, split between following through with their promises or letting the humans die. In the end, they chose to avoid piling more corpses on the tally of the world's cruelty, and aided them. Relations between the races were frosty at first, but over time became easier and easier.
Wardes' children would never inherit the Void, and being stuck in a marriage with Eleanor ended up being punishment enough for the crimes committed, yet never discovered.
Photos would be exchanged between the Valliere family of Halkeginia and beyond, and some say that the knowledge of having become a grandmother made Karin happy enough that she actually broke into a honest smile and kept it there until the day she allowed Death to come take her away -and even then, some say Death had to say 'pretty please Karin, you're 134 years old, let's go please'.
But still, all was good.
And all lived happily.
The End.
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Huh
I saw a shadenight fic on user fiction, and i clicked it
I just read the whole thing in one sitting.
And that ending was very, uh, unsatisfying ending to my night, but at least tell me one thing.
What are Louise and Saito's kids names, and how many kids did they have?
I saw a shadenight fic on user fiction, and i clicked it
I just read the whole thing in one sitting.
And that ending was very, uh, unsatisfying ending to my night, but at least tell me one thing.
What are Louise and Saito's kids names, and how many kids did they have?
